I am suicidal I was planning on pulling the plug today but needed to see someone else point of view of the family of victims who committed suicide. I never contacted the suicide hotline maybe I should. Maybe things will change horribly for my family and friends I don’t know. After listening to a few of these type of stories I have a change of mind to maybe do it another day, or not at all. I did however create this list of 6 things I wanna do before I pull the plug but I haven’t completed one thing on the list. The whole point of it was to find a reason to live, wanting to be alive but…..kinda tired at this point.
Hey Mandy - I hope Emily has helped to show that no matter what you may think, you are extremely loved by numerous people. It might not feel like that, but I can tell you that you have a positive impact on so many more people than you know. I see you make videos as well - we would all love to hear about the 6 things on your bucket list! I'm going to pin this comment in hopes that others can contact you as well. Let us know if you need anything. Talk to you soon
You have a beautiful smile and your acting is wonderful! I want you to know that God has a plan for you and your life! The fact that you watched this video that day was God telling you to rethink things. Keep going! Live your life to the fullest! I want you to keep living life and sharing experiences with your family and friends! This can be something that you can use as a testimony one day to others. Try to find joy in the little things everyday. Whether that’s reading a book, playing games, cooking. Also try to stay off of social media for awhile! TH-cam is ok but take a break from all other platforms. Praying for you and I hope that you know that you are loved and wonderful just the way that you are. Tell a doctor and try to go to counseling. Definitely tell your family and friends how time has been difficult for you lately. You are not alone ❤️
I’m close to the same spot you are in. I heard that the suicide hotline is more of a referral service for mental health services and don’t build it up into something monumental and you can expect to be out on hold. The point of all of it is to probably get you medicated or if you are in danger to k look it you in emergency mental health services aka a psych ward. I call Gospel Billboards sometimes. Usually someone will be able to hear you out and pray for you. I hope things get better for you or that you don’t give up.
Mandy- I'm sorry for whatever has lead you to be in this position. I've been there as well. Letting go and crying out to Jesus with all my heart is what ultimately saved me. But if you are still having these thoughts, please reach out to somebody for help. I know you have reasons to feel this way, but any suicidal thoughts are ultimately distortions of the truth- they are distortions of who you truly are, of your beauty and your potential. Unfortunately the lies you tell yourself grow in the dark, please take a deep breath and let the light in! Let someone in, and let God in! You are beautiful, you are loved unconditionally by God, and you were created for a purpose. I would love to hear your list of things you want to experience. Maybe you could make some TH-cam videos on your channel about it? God bless you, much love sister
dont do it you have value to God. Jesus can help you. find a church that teaches the bible and the forgiveness and hope jesus purchased on the cross. God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. the devil lies to us that we are worthless and life has no meaning. God understands our pain and can help us with his love
Depression isn't understood by those who don't go through it. It's not sadness. It's overwhelming, constant hopelessness. You have no idea how draining the facade of being ok is. Just so you don't have to hear "how good life can be". Doesn't matter how much you're loved. You don't love living. I love my family, my family loves me. Doesn't begin to touch depression. Sometimes you learn to live with it. Reluctantly. Friends and family talk about how selfish it is to end your own life. They want you to live so they don't have to feel grief. THAT'S selfish. Unless you're depressed, it's just a word you use. You'll never understand.
Your family loves you. That's reason enough for you to live bitch. Quit whining. Some people are depressed & noone loves them. So you have it better. I feel like punching you in the face. Find out why you're depressed. There's always always always a reason. Get rid of that reason. And live.
I lost my brother by suicide on July 26th 2020. He also shot himself. I understand your pain. It is very real and very deep. My brother, Dustin suffered from mental illness and he fought so hard for so long to stay on this earth for his family. He knew it would hurt us all so much so he stayed and suffered for years. Until that one day he just could not endure any longer. I mean no disrespect to soldiers, Dustin was not military but I call him my fallen soldier because he fought for his life everyday. Everyday he woke up and it was a battle to make it to the next day. Almost three years later I still cry for him. I miss him so much. Some days I can talk about him and be totally fine with no tears. Other days the tears and pain come from this deep place and just erupts and I am on the ground trying to remember how to breath again. Grief alone is a hard time to go through. Grief from suicide is a whole other ballgame. SO many extra feelings go along with this grief. Along with the stigma tied into suicide. To watch the look some peoples faces, to see that flash of judgment. It hurts deep. I hope they never have to understand what it feels like to lose someone you love to their own hand. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. Know your brothers legacy lives on in your heart and in the eyes of his two babies. We are bonded sisters by the loss of our brothers. Love to you and yours.
Everything you said is so relatable ❤ I lost mine a year ago. Mine jumped in front of a semi… Everything he had been through, his fighting to keep living was inspirational… Everyday I think about his smile and how much he laughed even though he was in pain. I haven’t experienced the judgement from other people yet or if I have haven’t realized it because of how dissociated I have been. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
There’s a lot of pain in this world. Let’s all be nicer to each other. Smile at someone each day. Ask people how they are. Do something good for someone you don’t know if you have the chance. Be uplifting. You never know how small actions can have big impacts
I'm 60 and just tired of living. Days just seems pointless. I'm a critical care R.N. that is exhausted. I have no friends and my daughters live far away with busy lives of their own. The only reason I don't take my life is knowing the pain that it would cause... Thanks for the video.
Find meaning in your life by helping others. Not just by your job but volunteering or being positive to their around you. You will see how immensely it impacts your life. I wish you the best
I just lost my twin brother to suicide two weeks ago and I'm broken in all ways. He was also a father. Hearing your courageous story helps me feel less alone in this immeasurable pain. 💔😭 Thank you and my deepest condolences.
My brother left us 3 weeks ago. It's been disbelief + an unbearable unimaginable pain. May u find strength in the power of mind, think any thoughts that make u feel better. This video and ur comment also helps me in finding comfort, we're all beyond broken 😘🙏
I also lost my brother last year and he was a father too and although he wasn't my twin in many ways it felt like he was and many people mix us up even though I am 8 years older than him.
7 years later and I STILL feel this pain. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Sending love and hugs from Tennessee ❤️ losing my brother changed my life forever. Thinking about you.
it sure does change your life It's been 22 years since I lost my little 21 year old brother and I remember 2 memories of Wesley like it happened today . 2001 in his question h
Thank you for sharing. I'm a mental health therapist, focusing on trauma, and I appreciate your vulnerability and I agree, we need to talk about suicide and mental health in general. Sending love.
Thank you so much for this. I lost my big brother 8/14/2022. We were Irish Twins barely 11 months apart. He was 27. We both lived in WA state. He worked for Comcast as a cable tech and was amazing at his job. He played guitar for several bands and just a few days before he took his own life his album released on TH-cam and Spotify. He was so funny and was my best friend. He was larger than life. I miss him every second of the day. I’m so sorry for your loss. The pain is incomparable.
@@justicewarrior2570 Money is important. However, it is not everything. Some people have clinical depression. However, those people may seem happy on the outside. Some people are just tired of life and/or find that it is quite pointless. I have also read that intelligent people are more likely to commit suicide. Sometimes you just do not know why they committed suicide.
My father committed suicide with a rifle he bought for me for Christmas, I never knew he would use it on himself, I was only 13 at the time. I was the last person he saw when he did it. I opened the locked bathroom door and saw my dad in the bathtub bleeding profusely from his head. This is an image that I would never unseen. It fuk me up for a life time and effected me in my relationships. I've lived with this experience for all my life. I have no idea why I'm still here. Suppressed feelings I guess. I've struggled with addiction but no longer using. I'm surprised I haven't committed suicide myself....
@Rich Stwart I'm so sorry for your loss I will pray for you Please take care of yourself,you're important Jesus says to cast all your cares upon Him I encourage you to pray to God, ask Him for guidance and support,He's a loving God and will answer you Take care ❤️
Oh Emily, I am so sorry. It takes a lot of courage to share your story and grief with the world but it is so important to have those tough conversations. I can tell from the way you spoke of him that he was a good man. As time goes on you will start remembering more of the good times with Zach more so than the way things unfolded even though it doesn’t seem like it now. Sometimes people need help dealing with grief and I hope you will seek it out if it becomes too much to bare. Much love to you and Josh.
Sorry to for your loss. I lost my cousin to suicide 5 months ago. She was only 13 years old. Her mom passed away from covid last year. Didn't expect my cousin to take her own life. 😢💔 there was no signs that she was depressed.
@@wilfredopk3080 We all did but we didn't know it was bad. She didn't cry in front of anyone. She was always smiling and laughing. At least that's what we saw from her. Its hard to tell.
Lost my best friend of 33 years last week to suicide. He lost his dog a few weeks before took it real hard. I just didn't see the signs maybe I ignored them I don't know but he kept saying he was so depressed. He stopped getting back to me I went looking for him I found him dead. I didn't realize he shot himself it was in a dark trailer the Fire Department told me he had a gunshot wound. Police accused me of shooting him I denied it maybe they had to do that not sure later it was ruled a suicide. I was worried I end up in legal trouble kind of angry with him for that I don't think he thought I would be the one who found him. I had to take a week off work my wife didn't understand she was angry I paid for his cremation cheapest I could find. She didn't think much of him she can be a cold-hearted person grew up with parents who were always having financial problems. I went through all his emails I since 2017 were still saved. Looking back at the fun stuff we talked about like videos of police chases, or strange news stories. Tresure hunting with metal detectors, and 4 wheeling exploring the desert. We live in the southwest deserts. He had fallen on hard times left his GF after 15 years rent is so high now he was living in his car with his dog. Looking back, I tried to advise him he didn't listen to most of what I said. He just gave up on life. I think if rent wasn't so high maybe he could have gotten back on his feet. He was in his late 60's and the world changed since he was on his own last. Can't just get a MIN wage job anymore and be enough to live somewhere cheap. He was on social security $1500 a month not enough plus health issues after a bad heart attack in 2019.
You have no idea how much hearing your story is helping me today. Thank you so so much for sharing this. Wishing you and Josh all the love and healing in the world.
My heart is with you as I experienced this in my own family with a sibling. This was 13 years ago. I was so shocked. I became depressed and lost a lot of weight. Thank God for my counseling which helped me. Life has filled in around me in the years since. But mine is a grief that never totally leaves me.
... ... I've been navigating the grief response for 20 years ... after my mother died from 12 years of epilepsy ... it's a brutal response process to comprehend ... in fact, I;ve come to the conclusion the medical profession poorly understand the brain or how emotions work ... I got to year five and the experience got worse ... therapy is limited ... I lost a school friend to brain cancer and another guy to suicide I met at school ... life is suffering ... that is unavoidable ... the problem is you have no map to adjust from such loss ... feeling guilty is a profound element of it ... but it's not your fault ...
I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts for months but everyone they come up I force myself to watch these videos to remind myself I can’t put my family and loves one’s through that kind of grief I won’t do it
Hearing your story about your brother brought my to tears 😢I did try to commute suicide 2 times and I felt in the intention and in the most horrendous way, after that I came to conclusion that God was having another plans for me I was on my early twenties when I did that. I’m 51 now and I’m ok , Tks god I have my days and I’m a lone wolf 🐺 but somehow I’m doing great. My heart goes to you and your mom and rest of the family.. the energy of your brother will follow u for the rest of ur life
Full disclosure, I couldn't watch the whole video due to my own relationship and experience with suicide. But that is not a reflection on your wife's story or the video itself, having everything to do with it being a difficult topic for me to engage with. I promise, I'll finish it in manageable parts to honor her brother's memory and willingness to share her heartbreak. Condolences and all the best to everyone involved. It took tremendous courage to share, but it's in the sharing that we can sometimes find meaning in something so painful.
Emily thank you for sharing. I suffer with suicidal thoughts and have attempted taking my life twice. I would like to applaud you for your bravery. I know that your brother was a great man. It’s usually the phenomenal human beings that suffer the most in silence. Without the support of my husband, I know for a fact that I may not be here right now. I woke up this morning with thoughts of ending my life. I searched for something, ANYTHING to help with the racing thoughts. You have been my voice of reason today. Your brother is beyond proud of you. 🥰Please know that your strength is not in vain; for today, it saved ME. 🌹 Thank you Emily 🙇🏾♀️🙇🏾♀️🙇🏾♀️.
Dear Shanna. Sister, you may not believe it at this time but trust me, YOUR voice is NEEDED in the world. You matter so much, you have no idea. Don't hesitate to get the help you need to stay alive. From one black woman to another...it will get better, I promise. xo
Thank you - for sharing this tremendous experience with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother to suicide. As both a counsellor & someone who’s survived my own battle with anxiety, depression & suicide - I’m inspired by your strength, courage & your vulnerability. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in this world, leaving behind so many devastated - I pray for your healing , understanding & support. Sharing this story is a healthy step in your grief process & I applaud you . ❤️
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
I have been doing this story for a long time I've healed a lot of things in my life I've got endless stories I don't know if you believe in Empowered Empath with abilities, but I am very much one INFP I have a coach just to read about
Some of us with depression have masterfully perfected our fake smile skills and fake happiness but deep down their is a void that we just don’t let out or let anyone find out, it’s just the bully in our heads and someone just can’t take it no more.
I lost my wife to Onset dementia, and it completely changed everything for then and while it was extremely traumatic I went back to university and did a diploma community service and diploma of counselling I now help people and youth I am in the process of writing and organise workshops for mens groups for mental Health and wellness
Thank you for sharing. I unexpectedly lost my 25 year old sister about 6 months ago. She was so deeply loved and I often catch myself wishing I could go back and do something differently. I struggle to find a balance between sharing her story, and keeping it safe, wrapped up against my heart. I find comfort in your words and knowing I am not alone in my grief journey. You help so many people through a variety of experiences by your sharing your family's story. One day at a time.. Sending love 💕
My uncle overdosed....we were all there... Christmas morning at my grandparents we woke up bright and early to my grandmother screaming. Suicide fucks up the whole family. It gets better. It takes time....but it gets better.
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
Emily, I'm so sorry. I know this is a loss you'll never completely get over. Ive experienced a loss like this too. I still grieve 6 years later. But we just continue on because what else can we do. You are so lucky to have an amazing support in Josh. You are not alone. Take it a day at a time. Some days will be better than others as you know. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m so sorry for your loss Emily. Praying you receive all the healing, love and support ! Good on you for being so brave and sharing your story with us.
That was one of the bravest things I’ve seen on TH-cam. Thank you for sharing such a painful experience in the hopes of bringing light to mental illness and suicide. It touches everyone. You honor your brother well.
I am so sorry to hear of your profound loss. It’s clear that you love him very much and I hope that talking about him will help to bring you comfort and to remember all of the wonderful things that he was. It was an honour to hear your story and I’m glad that you and Josh have each other’s love and support.x
I’m so sorry for your loss, Emily. I’m glad we were able to create a space for you to share your story. I can’t relate to this entirely, but I lost my Dad 5 years ago to heart disease, and for the longest time I always kept returning to the very last memory of how he was in that hospital bed. After sometime the memory of him in the hospital bed started to get replaced of how wonderful of a man my Dad was. Soon, I know that will happen to you, the memories of the kind of person your brother was will overcome the memory that causes your anxiety. It will take time, but as you’ve mentioned just take it step by step at a time. Sending over a big virtual hug!
it’s really strong from your part doing this video, I am so sorry for your loss but at the same time so proud that you’re taking it so bravely. I think your brother still lives through you and your loved ones, and how you portray him to the rest and cherish his memory. Sending loads of love to you both
You are one brave, thoughtful, & caring Woman.. And, I appreciate the fact that you expressed feelings about your older Brother during these difficult times. People grieve in various ways to be sure.. I’m sorry for the pain your feeling.. But remember, you’re doing the right thing by opening up & sharing.. God Bless, take care❤️ and come and talk to us again anytime!
You are so incredibly strong Emily for sharing Zach’s and your story. I hope you can find that space to heal and navigate through the grief and pain. Thank you for the reminder to cherish every moment I have with the ones I love.
Hey Emily. I’m sorry to hear what happened to Zach but I’m glad to hear about Zach. By talking about him, wanting to make a difference and help others - you are honouring him already, and that’s super cool. Thank you for sharing.
So sorry for your loss. It's devastating. Also lost my brother the same way in 2004. The hardest ordeal I had in my life. It will never heal, even after all these years. Hard t say this, but only time helps.
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
Thank you for sharing your story, Emily. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so brave for opening up about this. Sending lots of love, and I hope you and Josh have a good time on Iceland.
I´m so sorry for your loss I can´t imagine the pain you and your family must be going through. Thank you for sharing, I hope it can help someone, even if it´s just one person it has done everything.
Thank you for sharing your story and being so vulnerable. Walking through grief is not something that has a timeframe and the stages don't go in any order and many times repeat as we move through it. Thank you for sharing the rough parts because life is all of these things.
My oldest brother did this. My mom called me 11 years ago when I was getting ready for work and told me to sit down, she went on to tell me that my brother was found in his car in the woods on his property with a single gun shot wound to the head. The police said his rosary was wrapped around his hand and there was a pile of cigarette butts outside the car door. I looked up to him, he was my role model growing up. My favorite brother honestly. It turned my whole world upside down. I learned to live with this, but I'm not the same. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the violence of it. And all the scenarios and what ifs and the images that play through your mind. If it taught me one thing it's that suicide is not an option because I know what it would do to my family, I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy, let alone my family. I felt grief and denial and then anger for the longest time. I went to my mom's grave on Mother's Day this year to leave her flowers but she didn't have a vase yet so I left her flowers with my brother it was the first time I'd been to his grave since he died. It was just too disturbing to even visit his grave it took me 10 years to do it, but I'm glad I did. It it was the first time I felt some peace about it in all this time. The more family I have in that cemetery, I like to think they're together again.
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been very hard reliving these moments. You’re brother seemed like a wonderful person to have such a strong bond with his younger sister. I hope you’ll find it easier to remember him for all the greats things he did.
I am so sorry for your loss of your brother Emily. This is so heartbreaking. Thank you Josh for giving your beautiful wife the platform to speak about this. This is truly appreciated so much. God bless you guys !
I'm sorry for your loss. Amazing courage to share your brothers story. We often don't hear from the family members of those who have lost someone to suicide. Thank you for sharing.
You are such a beautiful person!! Thank you so much for talking to us, for sharing even though it's so painful!! I wish I could hug you and send you all the warmth I see in your eyes! I feel with you!
thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. it takes a lot of strength to look beyond the tragedy and grief you are suffering to think of others who may be contemplating a similar path. I am glad for your relationship and the way you share together, it gets you through the tough times.
I’m so sorry for your lost, Emily. Thank you for sharing this. It is very important to talk about mental health. You and Josh are very brave and beautiful humans.
Just heartbreaking to hear your story. You and Josh are so brave to post your videos and help people. Just humbling to watch such kind and amazing human beings such as yourselves. I'll be praying for you and your family. Take care
I am so sorry for your loss, thank your for sharing this with us, we appreciate your courage so much. Be strong, and know you aren't alone ❤️ you are so loved and he is as well❤️
So sorry for your loss. When you get to the stage of acceptance, just remember despite the time your brother's life lasted, he mattered. Try to focus on the impact he made on people's lives. Even though you are clearly in mourning, you are still trying to put out positive messages. Really appreciate that and your courage to share.
Happened to me with my best and only friend in college around 10 years ago. Ever since I get these waves of sadness and guilt which brings me down for days alone in my room. I wish I could share your pain Emily and give you a hug. I will pray that you and your family can bare this pain. And yes this doesn't define your brother, you guys define him.
Thank you for being such a brave woman and shareing such important story. I think - to share such an important story and want to make people aware of this whole mental illness topic - is a good way to deal with such a heavy grief. Your words were so authentic that I cried. I really hope that you and the people close to your heart will find a way to manage this pain. I think your mindset is in the right place. Every day is one step forward. ❤️
Emily I am so deeply sorry for this tragic loss of your brother this is so sad and thank you for sharing your story with others.I can't tell you difficult this all has been for you and family.We all think the world of Josh and I appreciate what he shares with us too I send my love and hugs to you and Josh today❤❤
I'm sorry for your lost, Emily. It's important to talk about mental health issues, depression is a silent problem, that needs psychological help and medical treatment. There are ways to go forward in life, happily. All the love to you.
So sorry for your loss, Emily. Thanks for sharing this heartbreaking story. It'll help someone, I'm sure. 💜 A lot of people don't know half of how important they are to the people around them.
Thank you Emily for your deep sharing of your loss of Zack. Keep talking about him, share his stories. His soul lives on forever through you and his children. Sending you love peace and healing.
I actually was Depressed and suicidal back in 2018 and didn’t end up going through with it cause I learned I wasn’t actually a burden to my loved ones. I realized my friends and family all loved me. I’m currently going through depression right now after learning bad news in February but I’m getting through it.
I am suicidal I was planning on pulling the plug today but needed to see someone else point of view of the family of victims who committed suicide. I never contacted the suicide hotline maybe I should. Maybe things will change horribly for my family and friends I don’t know. After listening to a few of these type of stories I have a change of mind to maybe do it another day, or not at all. I did however create this list of 6 things I wanna do before I pull the plug but I haven’t completed one thing on the list. The whole point of it was to find a reason to live, wanting to be alive but…..kinda tired at this point.
Hey Mandy - I hope Emily has helped to show that no matter what you may think, you are extremely loved by numerous people. It might not feel like that, but I can tell you that you have a positive impact on so many more people than you know. I see you make videos as well - we would all love to hear about the 6 things on your bucket list! I'm going to pin this comment in hopes that others can contact you as well. Let us know if you need anything. Talk to you soon
You have a beautiful smile and your acting is wonderful! I want you to know that God has a plan for you and your life! The fact that you watched this video that day was God telling you to rethink things. Keep going! Live your life to the fullest! I want you to keep living life and sharing experiences with your family and friends! This can be something that you can use as a testimony one day to others. Try to find joy in the little things everyday. Whether that’s reading a book, playing games, cooking. Also try to stay off of social media for awhile! TH-cam is ok but take a break from all other platforms. Praying for you and I hope that you know that you are loved and wonderful just the way that you are. Tell a doctor and try to go to counseling. Definitely tell your family and friends how time has been difficult for you lately. You are not alone ❤️
I’m close to the same spot you are in. I heard that the suicide hotline is more of a referral service for mental health services and don’t build it up into something monumental and you can expect to be out on hold. The point of all of it is to probably get you medicated or if you are in danger to k look it you in emergency mental health services aka a psych ward.
I call Gospel Billboards sometimes. Usually someone will be able to hear you out and pray for you.
I hope things get better for you or that you don’t give up.
Mandy- I'm sorry for whatever has lead you to be in this position. I've been there as well. Letting go and crying out to Jesus with all my heart is what ultimately saved me. But if you are still having these thoughts, please reach out to somebody for help. I know you have reasons to feel this way, but any suicidal thoughts are ultimately distortions of the truth- they are distortions of who you truly are, of your beauty and your potential. Unfortunately the lies you tell yourself grow in the dark, please take a deep breath and let the light in! Let someone in, and let God in! You are beautiful, you are loved unconditionally by God, and you were created for a purpose. I would love to hear your list of things you want to experience. Maybe you could make some TH-cam videos on your channel about it? God bless you, much love sister
dont do it you have value to God. Jesus can help you. find a church that teaches the bible and the forgiveness and hope jesus purchased on the cross. God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. the devil lies to us that we are worthless and life has no meaning. God understands our pain and can help us with his love
Depression isn't understood by those who don't go through it. It's not sadness. It's overwhelming, constant hopelessness. You have no idea how draining the facade of being ok is. Just so you don't have to hear "how good life can be". Doesn't matter how much you're loved. You don't love living. I love my family, my family loves me. Doesn't begin to touch depression. Sometimes you learn to live with it. Reluctantly. Friends and family talk about how selfish it is to end your own life. They want you to live so they don't have to feel grief. THAT'S selfish. Unless you're depressed, it's just a word you use. You'll never understand.
Don’t seek religion I want to be clear, but seek a personal relationship with Jesus. He loves you and will set you free
@@laylascott6096
That's a lie.
@@MirageSelby
Oh I'm long past that. "God" and I have a fickle relationship, but the Bible, religion? Most certainly not. Heathen and proud of it.
Your family loves you. That's reason enough for you to live bitch. Quit whining. Some people are depressed & noone loves them. So you have it better. I feel like punching you in the face. Find out why you're depressed. There's always always always a reason. Get rid of that reason. And live.
@@laylascott6096Don't seek religion just seek religion is basically what you said.
I lost my brother by suicide on July 26th 2020. He also shot himself. I understand your pain. It is very real and very deep. My brother, Dustin suffered from mental illness and he fought so hard for so long to stay on this earth for his family. He knew it would hurt us all so much so he stayed and suffered for years. Until that one day he just could not endure any longer. I mean no disrespect to soldiers, Dustin was not military but I call him my fallen soldier because he fought for his life everyday. Everyday he woke up and it was a battle to make it to the next day. Almost three years later I still cry for him. I miss him so much. Some days I can talk about him and be totally fine with no tears. Other days the tears and pain come from this deep place and just erupts and I am on the ground trying to remember how to breath again. Grief alone is a hard time to go through. Grief from suicide is a whole other ballgame. SO many extra feelings go along with this grief. Along with the stigma tied into suicide. To watch the look some peoples faces, to see that flash of judgment. It hurts deep. I hope they never have to understand what it feels like to lose someone you love to their own hand. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. Know your brothers legacy lives on in your heart and in the eyes of his two babies. We are bonded sisters by the loss of our brothers. Love to you and yours.
Everything you said is so relatable ❤ I lost mine a year ago. Mine jumped in front of a semi… Everything he had been through, his fighting to keep living was inspirational… Everyday I think about his smile and how much he laughed even though he was in pain. I haven’t experienced the judgement from other people yet or if I have haven’t realized it because of how dissociated I have been. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
There’s a lot of pain in this world. Let’s all be nicer to each other. Smile at someone each day. Ask people how they are. Do something good for someone you don’t know if you have the chance. Be uplifting. You never know how small actions can have big impacts
AMEN❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm 60 and just tired of living. Days just seems pointless. I'm a critical care R.N. that is exhausted. I have no friends and my daughters live far away with busy lives of their own. The only reason I don't take my life is knowing the pain that it would cause... Thanks for the video.
Please hang on and keep fighting.
Tell your daughters in person this what you have ritten here
Find meaning in your life by helping others. Not just by your job but volunteering or being positive to their around you. You will see how immensely it impacts your life. I wish you the best
U ok?
Go find meaning to n life.
I just lost my twin brother to suicide two weeks ago and I'm broken in all ways. He was also a father. Hearing your courageous story helps me feel less alone in this immeasurable pain. 💔😭 Thank you and my deepest condolences.
My brother left us 3 weeks ago. It's been disbelief + an unbearable unimaginable pain. May u find strength in the power of mind, think any thoughts that make u feel better. This video and ur comment also helps me in finding comfort, we're all beyond broken 😘🙏
Condolences to both you @Rowen White and @S. Hope u both are healing.
I also lost my brother last year and he was a father too and although he wasn't my twin in many ways it felt like he was and many people mix us up even though I am 8 years older than him.
I lost my brother to drugs he was 30 he had 3 kids
@@daisyhinojosa23Not the same thing. Drugs are a bad choice, nothing to do with depression.
The thing about suicide is that it does not end the pain it just shifts it.
7 years later and I STILL feel this pain. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Sending love and hugs from Tennessee ❤️ losing my brother changed my life forever. Thinking about you.
it sure does change your life It's been 22 years since I lost my little 21 year old brother and I remember 2 memories of Wesley like it happened today . 2001 in his question h
Sometimes it is spiritual...and some simply wanna go home..bc our society is very cold✨🌟
Thank you for sharing. I'm a mental health therapist, focusing on trauma, and I appreciate your vulnerability and I agree, we need to talk about suicide and mental health in general. Sending love.
Thank you so much for this. I lost my big brother 8/14/2022. We were Irish Twins barely 11 months apart. He was 27. We both lived in WA state. He worked for Comcast as a cable tech and was amazing at his job. He played guitar for several bands and just a few days before he took his own life his album released on TH-cam and Spotify. He was so funny and was my best friend. He was larger than life. I miss him every second of the day. I’m so sorry for your loss. The pain is incomparable.
Sorry for your loss and i don't want to be rude but why did he commit suicide if he was happy and successful?
@@justicewarrior2570 Money is important. However, it is not everything. Some people have clinical depression. However, those people may seem happy on the outside. Some people are just tired of life and/or find that it is quite pointless. I have also read that intelligent people are more likely to commit suicide. Sometimes you just do not know why they committed suicide.
My father committed suicide with a rifle he bought for me for Christmas, I never knew he would use it on himself, I was only 13 at the time. I was the last person he saw when he did it. I opened the locked bathroom door and saw my dad in the bathtub bleeding profusely from his head. This is an image that I would never unseen. It fuk me up for a life time and effected me in my relationships. I've lived with this experience for all my life. I have no idea why I'm still here. Suppressed feelings I guess. I've struggled with addiction but no longer using. I'm surprised I haven't committed suicide myself....
@Rich Stwart
I'm so sorry for your loss
I will pray for you
Please take care of yourself,you're important
Jesus says to cast all your cares upon Him
I encourage you to pray to God, ask Him for guidance and support,He's a loving God and will answer you
Take care ❤️
I'm sooooo sorry. Have you tried EMDR therapy???????? There is a world of people and experiences waiting open arms for you.
Oh Emily, I am so sorry. It takes a lot of courage to share your story and grief with the world but it is so important to have those tough conversations. I can tell from the way you spoke of him that he was a good man. As time goes on you will start remembering more of the good times with Zach more so than the way things unfolded even though it doesn’t seem like it now. Sometimes people need help dealing with grief and I hope you will seek it out if it becomes too much to bare. Much love to you and Josh.
Sorry to for your loss. I lost my cousin to suicide 5 months ago. She was only 13 years old. Her mom passed away from covid last year. Didn't expect my cousin to take her own life. 😢💔 there was no signs that she was depressed.
Nobody asked how she was?
@@wilfredopk3080 We all did but we didn't know it was bad. She didn't cry in front of anyone. She was always smiling and laughing. At least that's what we saw from her. Its hard to tell.
Gohan,
Critical Race Theory is deadly
Sounds like she had issues
If my mom passes away , I'd do the same thing. Maybe she felt like she can't , or doesn't want to live without her Mom.
Lost my best friend of 33 years last week to suicide. He lost his dog a few weeks before took it real hard. I just didn't see the signs maybe I ignored them I don't know but he kept saying he was so depressed. He stopped getting back to me I went looking for him I found him dead. I didn't realize he shot himself it was in a dark trailer the Fire Department told me he had a gunshot wound. Police accused me of shooting him I denied it maybe they had to do that not sure later it was ruled a suicide. I was worried I end up in legal trouble kind of angry with him for that I don't think he thought I would be the one who found him. I had to take a week off work my wife didn't understand she was angry I paid for his cremation cheapest I could find. She didn't think much of him she can be a cold-hearted person grew up with parents who were always having financial problems. I went through all his emails I since 2017 were still saved. Looking back at the fun stuff we talked about like videos of police chases, or strange news stories. Tresure hunting with metal detectors, and 4 wheeling exploring the desert. We live in the southwest deserts. He had fallen on hard times left his GF after 15 years rent is so high now he was living in his car with his dog. Looking back, I tried to advise him he didn't listen to most of what I said. He just gave up on life. I think if rent wasn't so high maybe he could have gotten back on his feet. He was in his late 60's and the world changed since he was on his own last. Can't just get a MIN wage job anymore and be enough to live somewhere cheap. He was on social security $1500 a month not enough plus health issues after a bad heart attack in 2019.
❤
I've just lost a sibling too. Thank you for sharing your story. I know there aren't any words.
You have no idea how much hearing your story is helping me today. Thank you so so much for sharing this. Wishing you and Josh all the love and healing in the world.
My heart is with you as I experienced this in my own family with a sibling. This was 13 years ago. I was so shocked. I became depressed and lost a lot of weight. Thank God for my counseling which helped me. Life has filled in around me in the years since. But mine is a grief that never totally leaves me.
... ... I've been navigating the grief response for 20 years ... after my mother died from 12 years of epilepsy ... it's a brutal response process to comprehend ... in fact, I;ve come to the conclusion the medical profession poorly understand the brain or how emotions work ... I got to year five and the experience got worse ... therapy is limited ... I lost a school friend to brain cancer and another guy to suicide I met at school ... life is suffering ... that is unavoidable ... the problem is you have no map to adjust from such loss ... feeling guilty is a profound element of it ... but it's not your fault ...
I am so sorry. Its been 10 years since my brother's suicide. It still catches my breath away. Horrible complicated grief. 😢
Heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts for months but everyone they come up I force myself to watch these videos to remind myself I can’t put my family and loves one’s through that kind of grief
I won’t do it
Me too, nothing else has helped me, because I don't feel capable of living, but I love My family and I don't want to hurt them with this kind of pain
If you have loved ones isn't it enough? If anyone loved I wouldn't be here.
Hearing your story about your brother brought my to tears 😢I did try to commute suicide 2 times and I felt in the intention and in the most horrendous way, after that I came to conclusion that
God was having another plans for me
I was on my early twenties when I did that. I’m 51 now and I’m ok , Tks god
I have my days and I’m a lone wolf 🐺 but somehow I’m doing great. My heart goes to you and your mom and rest of the family.. the energy of your brother will follow u for the rest of ur life
Full disclosure, I couldn't watch the whole video due to my own relationship and experience with suicide. But that is not a reflection on your wife's story or the video itself, having everything to do with it being a difficult topic for me to engage with. I promise, I'll finish it in manageable parts to honor her brother's memory and willingness to share her heartbreak. Condolences and all the best to everyone involved. It took tremendous courage to share, but it's in the sharing that we can sometimes find meaning in something so painful.
Heartbroken hearing your brother’s story..
Sending you and your family lots of love ❤️
It is heartbreaking 💔 to hear about what happened to him. May be Rest In Peace ☮️.
Emily thank you for sharing. I suffer with suicidal thoughts and have attempted taking my life twice. I would like to applaud you for your bravery. I know that your brother was a great man. It’s usually the phenomenal human beings that suffer the most in silence. Without the support of my husband, I know for a fact that I may not be here right now. I woke up this morning with thoughts of ending my life. I searched for something, ANYTHING to help with the racing thoughts. You have been my voice of reason today. Your brother is beyond proud of you. 🥰Please know that your strength is not in vain; for today, it saved ME. 🌹
Thank you Emily 🙇🏾♀️🙇🏾♀️🙇🏾♀️.
Dear Shanna. Sister, you may not believe it at this time but trust me, YOUR voice is NEEDED in the world. You matter so much, you have no idea. Don't hesitate to get the help you need to stay alive. From one black woman to another...it will get better, I promise. xo
If anyone is reading this, please do not give up on life. Whatever your situation just remember this too shall pass.
it never will i wanna end it tonight
Thank you - for sharing this tremendous experience with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother to suicide. As both a counsellor & someone who’s survived my own battle with anxiety, depression & suicide - I’m inspired by your strength, courage & your vulnerability. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in this world, leaving behind so many devastated - I pray for your healing , understanding & support. Sharing this story is a healthy step in your grief process & I applaud you . ❤️
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
I have been doing this story for a long time I've healed a lot of things in my life I've got endless stories I don't know if you believe in Empowered Empath with abilities, but I am very much one INFP I have a coach just to read about
Some of us with depression have masterfully perfected our fake smile skills and fake happiness but deep down their is a void that we just don’t let out or let anyone find out, it’s just the bully in our heads and someone just can’t take it no more.
I lost my wife to Onset dementia, and it completely changed everything for then and while it was extremely traumatic I went back to university and did a diploma community service and diploma of counselling I now help people and youth I am in the process of writing and organise workshops for mens groups for mental Health and wellness
Thank you for sharing. I unexpectedly lost my 25 year old sister about 6 months ago. She was so deeply loved and I often catch myself wishing I could go back and do something differently. I struggle to find a balance between sharing her story, and keeping it safe, wrapped up against my heart. I find comfort in your words and knowing I am not alone in my grief journey. You help so many people through a variety of experiences by your sharing your family's story. One day at a time.. Sending love 💕
My uncle overdosed....we were all there... Christmas morning at my grandparents we woke up bright and early to my grandmother screaming. Suicide fucks up the whole family. It gets better. It takes time....but it gets better.
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
Emily, I'm so sorry. I know this is a loss you'll never completely get over. Ive experienced a loss like this too. I still grieve 6 years later. But we just continue on because what else can we do. You are so lucky to have an amazing support in Josh. You are not alone. Take it a day at a time. Some days will be better than others as you know. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m so sorry for your loss Emily. Praying you receive all the healing, love and support ! Good on you for being so brave and sharing your story with us.
I'm so sorry for you. Thank you for sharing this.
That was one of the bravest things I’ve seen on TH-cam. Thank you for sharing such a painful experience in the hopes of bringing light to mental illness and suicide. It touches everyone. You honor your brother well.
Thank you for sharing - so sorry for your loss ;(
Thank you so much for sharing this. Talking about it and removing the stigma is such an important thing to do - and so emotionally generous of you.
So sorry for your loss. All the best to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you both loads of hugs. ♥️
My heart goes out to you, sending so much healing thoughts your way
This breaks my heart.. I’m so so sorry for your loss Emily!
Thank you for sharing this. It really does help ppl to hear from family survivors.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are so brave. Thank you for sharing . Prayers for comfort and peace.
Ohh God this cut so deep! Words can never express the pain, thank you !
So, so sorry for your loss. Your brother sounds like a great person. 🙏
I am so sorry to hear of your profound loss. It’s clear that you love him very much and I hope that talking about him will help to bring you comfort and to remember all of the wonderful things that he was. It was an honour to hear your story and I’m glad that you and Josh have each other’s love and support.x
Crying with you, Emily! Thank you so much for sharing x
I’m so sorry for your loss, Emily. I’m glad we were able to create a space for you to share your story. I can’t relate to this entirely, but I lost my Dad 5 years ago to heart disease, and for the longest time I always kept returning to the very last memory of how he was in that hospital bed. After sometime the memory of him in the hospital bed started to get replaced of how wonderful of a man my Dad was. Soon, I know that will happen to you, the memories of the kind of person your brother was will overcome the memory that causes your anxiety. It will take time, but as you’ve mentioned just take it step by step at a time. Sending over a big virtual hug!
it’s really strong from your part doing this video, I am so sorry for your loss but at the same time so proud that you’re taking it so bravely. I think your brother still lives through you and your loved ones, and how you portray him to the rest and cherish his memory. Sending loads of love to you both
You are one brave, thoughtful, & caring Woman.. And, I appreciate the fact that you expressed feelings about your older Brother during these difficult times. People grieve in various ways to be sure.. I’m sorry for the pain your feeling.. But remember, you’re doing the right thing by opening up & sharing.. God Bless, take care❤️ and come and talk to us again anytime!
You are so incredibly strong Emily for sharing Zach’s and your story. I hope you can find that space to heal and navigate through the grief and pain. Thank you for the reminder to cherish every moment I have with the ones I love.
Sending you and your family a lot of light that fills you life and gives you strength
Thank you for being brave and telling us your story. Sending hugs from 🇬🇧. Sorry for your loss. 💔 x
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find healing and comfort in sharing your story with us. 🙏
Hey Emily. I’m sorry to hear what happened to Zach but I’m glad to hear about Zach.
By talking about him, wanting to make a difference and help others - you are honouring him already, and that’s super cool.
Thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry 😞 you are so strong to be able to talk about it ❤
Emily, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this. You helped me get through today😌
So sorry for your loss. It's devastating. Also lost my brother the same way in 2004. The hardest ordeal I had in my life. It will never heal, even after all these years. Hard t say this, but only time helps.
.... unfortunately some of us out here aren't that emotionally robust ... I've tried asking professionals how emotions and the brain work ... and they are utterly clueless ... simply because emotions are linked to consciousness and they still haven't resolved how consciousness works ...
Thank you for sharing your story, Emily. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so brave for opening up about this. Sending lots of love, and I hope you and Josh have a good time on Iceland.
You’re a lovely woman. So sorry for your loss.
Sending you all the love and strength and energy in the world
I´m so sorry for your loss I can´t imagine the pain you and your family must be going through. Thank you for sharing, I hope it can help someone, even if it´s just one person it has done everything.
Dr. Gordon Livingston, wrote a book after the loss of his son, it's called. "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart".
I highly recommend it Emily.
I’m so sorry for your lost. Was so hard watching the pain you’re in 😔
Thank you for sharing your story and being so vulnerable. Walking through grief is not something that has a timeframe and the stages don't go in any order and many times repeat as we move through it. Thank you for sharing the rough parts because life is all of these things.
I’m so very sorry for your loss🥲🥲🥲you’re doing great speaking out! Love and healing go to you ❤️❤️💜🙏🙏🙏
My oldest brother did this. My mom called me 11 years ago when I was getting ready for work and told me to sit down, she went on to tell me that my brother was found in his car in the woods on his property with a single gun shot wound to the head. The police said his rosary was wrapped around his hand and there was a pile of cigarette butts outside the car door. I looked up to him,
he was my role model growing up. My favorite brother honestly. It turned my whole world upside down. I learned to live with this, but I'm not the same. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the violence of it. And all the scenarios and what ifs and the images that play through your mind. If it taught me one thing it's that suicide is not an option because I know what it would do to my family, I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy, let alone my family. I felt grief and denial and then anger for the longest time. I went to my mom's grave on Mother's Day this year to leave her flowers but she didn't have a vase yet so I left her flowers with my brother it was the first time I'd been to his grave since he died. It was just too disturbing to even visit his grave it took me 10 years to do it, but I'm glad I did. It it was the first time I felt some peace about it in all this time. The more family I have in that cemetery, I like to think they're together again.
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been very hard reliving these moments. You’re brother seemed like a wonderful person to have such a strong bond with his younger sister. I hope you’ll find it easier to remember him for all the greats things he did.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Zach but I'm glad to have the opportunity to know who he was.
I am so sorry for your loss of your brother Emily. This is so heartbreaking. Thank you Josh for giving your beautiful wife the platform to speak about this. This is truly appreciated so much. God bless you guys !
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m always coming to these stories to remind myself to hold on another day. Thank you. 🙏
Emily, So sorry for your loss and your grief. Thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is heartbracking.
thank you, emily. i'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss, this video is making a difference and Zach won't be forgotten.
Beautiful people, both of you. Sending all my love.
I'm sorry for your loss. Amazing courage to share your brothers story. We often don't hear from the family members of those who have lost someone to suicide. Thank you for sharing.
You are such a beautiful person!! Thank you so much for talking to us, for sharing even though it's so painful!! I wish I could hug you and send you all the warmth I see in your eyes! I feel with you!
thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. it takes a lot of strength to look beyond the tragedy and grief you are suffering to think of others who may be contemplating a similar path. I am glad for your relationship and the way you share together, it gets you through the tough times.
It is so important to talk. Thank you for having the strength to share your story and remind us that we are all loved💕
I'm so sorry for your loss 🌹
I’m so sorry for your lost, Emily. Thank you for sharing this. It is very important to talk about mental health. You and Josh are very brave and beautiful humans.
I'm so sorry for your loss, you have other people in your life to live for like Josh and your family ,you all have be strong to get over this grief.
Just heartbreaking to hear your story. You and Josh are so brave to post your videos and help people. Just humbling to watch such kind and amazing human beings such as yourselves. I'll be praying for you and your family. Take care
I am so sorry for your loss, thank your for sharing this with us, we appreciate your courage so much. Be strong, and know you aren't alone ❤️ you are so loved and he is as well❤️
So sorry for your loss. When you get to the stage of acceptance, just remember despite the time your brother's life lasted, he mattered. Try to focus on the impact he made on people's lives. Even though you are clearly in mourning, you are still trying to put out positive messages. Really appreciate that and your courage to share.
Happened to me with my best and only friend in college around 10 years ago. Ever since I get these waves of sadness and guilt which brings me down for days alone in my room. I wish I could share your pain Emily and give you a hug. I will pray that you and your family can bare this pain. And yes this doesn't define your brother, you guys define him.
Thank you for being such a brave woman and shareing such important story. I think - to share such an important story and want to make people aware of this whole mental illness topic - is a good way to deal with such a heavy grief. Your words were so authentic that I cried. I really hope that you and the people close to your heart will find a way to manage this pain. I think your mindset is in the right place. Every day is one step forward. ❤️
Emily I am so deeply sorry for this tragic loss of your brother this is so sad and thank you for sharing your story with others.I can't tell you difficult this all has been for you and family.We all think the world of Josh and I appreciate what he shares with us too I send my love and hugs to you and Josh today❤❤
I'm sorry for your lost, Emily. It's important to talk about mental health issues, depression is a silent problem, that needs psychological help and medical treatment. There are ways to go forward in life, happily. All the love to you.
So sorry for your loss, Emily. Thanks for sharing this heartbreaking story. It'll help someone, I'm sure. 💜
A lot of people don't know half of how important they are to the people around them.
Sorry for your loss, I understand his pain 🥺
I'm so sorry. I wish that society as a whole took mental health more seriously. Thank you for sharing
I am sorry, Emily! Sending so much peace and strength to you and your entire family.
Thank you Emily for your deep sharing of your loss of Zack. Keep talking about him, share his stories. His soul lives on forever through you and his children. Sending you love peace and healing.
I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it is. I hope you can find some peace.
I actually was Depressed and suicidal back in 2018 and didn’t end up going through with it cause I learned I wasn’t actually a burden to my loved ones. I realized my friends and family all loved me. I’m currently going through depression right now after learning bad news in February but I’m getting through it.
Sending you, your husband and family love 🖤
Sending you hugs, love and positive vibes ♥️