Why You FEEL LOST In Life & How To Find Your TRUE SELF Again! (I.F.S METHOD) | Richard Schwartz
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
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This week's episode is a rather special one. In fact, I would say this is potentially one of the most important episodes I've ever released on my podcast because today, I am talking to Dr. Richard Schwartz. He's the creator of an incredible treatment modality called internal family systems, also known as IFS.
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Thank you so much Dr. Rangan for your vulnerability and courage in your public IFS session. For the past 5 months I have been studying and attending an IFS group. I am also a recovering addict from drugs, alcohol, porn etc. I also suffer from CPTSD and attend ACA (adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families) 12 step recovery meetings. While your IFS has given me so much clarity in the IFS process- I don’t think for many people including myself especially it’s that easy or quick a process. Some of my addictive Protector parts are tenacious and rebellious. They do it it of Love and compassion for my young exile parts who were abused and hold on to painful/suicidal beliefs about themselves. I don’t think it takes a couple or a few sessions to appease both the protectors and exiles. I think for some real deep rooted trauma- it’s not unusual for it to take even a period of months or years to heal. Although every single IFS session can gradually chip away at the core wounds. IFS is a life changing amazing program that’s simple enough for many non professionals to grasp and relish in. But as Dick mentioned early in the interview- this is very hard work inasmuch as their is much deep seated trauma surrounding these exiles. It takes willingness and determination and consistency to be effective. IFS is no magic wand but an awesome process.
I think the greatness of it for me is that it is an assured process - it absolutely does work, tho it can be v difficult for some - but it absolutely works unlike CBT and other therapies that don't address trauma and keep you stuck and pathologised. It works on an experiential level the same way the trauma is created and you actually feel through the process unlike CBT.
So true, for me, faith in and my personal relationship with Jesus Christ is pivotal to having the courage and faith to let my exiled parts share how they feel, and to respond to them. I think without faith in a God that really does love us, protector parts can be very rigid and stubborn. As a healing coach working with clients with this approach, I agree, it really can take time to get access to some of our more traumatized parts, but when a person does access even just one part, it seems to loosen up the whole system and make that process get easier next time.
🤗🌼
Well said
Having worked in the mental health field, I want to thank you so much for using your platform in this way. For a medical Dr to devote time to mental health issues and shine a light on them is amazing. And the creator of family systems? Wow. Hope to see more on this subject. I'm also a huge fan of Dr Gabor Mate, his work and compassion are profound. Thanks to all of you.
Richard Schwartz-the lion in the wizard of oz-full of courageous heart. thank you.
Thank you for doing the IFS session publicly. I did it along with you and felt healing! 🙏🏽
Teach this in prisons, schools, governments, media, churches. ❤
I understand the info. I was raised in an abusive home. I have come to terms with it. I stopped myself from becoming an abuser. I tell my children they are amazing and I love you no matter what. They know mistakes are normal and we grow from them. Nothing stops me from loving them. I went through a lot of changes internally. I am now learning to love me for who i am. I think my healing started the day i made amends with my father just before he passed.
Thnx for this honest sharing. I DO STRONGLY RESONATE!
I SUPPORT YOUR JOURNEY KIM!🎉❤ Thanks for sharing and giving me the reminder to muster courage to forgive my father.
Thanks so much for using yourself as a guinea pig" in front of god and everybody" so we can see this put into action. What I really love about all your podcasts is that you make it so practical, so useful, so accessible to us, your listeners. Hugs to you and all your parts. I deeply appreciate your work.
❤
I love Dr Schwartz voice itself, calming, peaceful, relaxes me, can listen to him for days
I started reading 'No Bad Parts' yesterday, and today this pops up! Amazing! Thanks so much this was a really interesting conversation.
It's been an amazing modality for the attachment trauma of adoption. Blessings to Dick Schwartz and to this platform for featuring him.
What can I say? I am lucky to be living in an era where I can sit in bed or go for a walk and listen to these awe inspiring conversations.
Thank you! 🙏
For real! We are lucky to live in this Era 🎉
W0AH!! So I closed my eyes and listened and I saw her, my protector: I felt so afraid to let her go, it was a little different for me, she actually had to explain to me that I wasnt 7 anymore, even though im very small and shes very tall looking down at me that I didnt need her kind of protection, that aggressive over the top protection ya know.... she said shes tired she let me know I was so strong, all this ive been through, has given me things i need to do this differently. When Im looking through the window at him im glad he is in the room and that he cant get to me but i see the boy from 30 years ago and i hurt for him. I go back to her my protector all in white and i thank her but i know she has to go somewhere but not aaway. so i just go to her and i step into her i think like an embrace and then i just feel like me like 55 year old me. not a little girl but not so big and aggressive and tall either.....and shes still here for an emergency i dont feel all alone....
I was introduced to IFS last year....Life changing! So happy you interviewed Dick Schwartz....brilliant podcast. Thank you!
Profound. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your integrity and vulnerability Rangan.
This is profoundly life changing. Thank you for this episode. I immediately purchased No Bad Parts, I'm so grateful. I have learned so much of your leadership and compassion.
Today was my first time being introduced to IFS and all I can say is WOW. I followed the exercise and it provided my current self with so much power knowing that that hurt part of me can be separated, cared for and protected by me now because I am much older. To thank my younger self for constantly trying to protect me gave me so much comfort . My current self also felt responsible for protecting it immediately during the exercise and tell it that it’s all okay now 🥲 Definitely going to look into IFS more moving forward. Thank you so much Dr. Rangan for sharing with the public this podcast 💓
AMEN about making passive patients! Our mental “health” practices are often iatrogenic and keep people trapped in their dysfunction. Best therapist I ever had led off with, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” We went to work from there, and then my life changed for the much, much better.
I wish I could give you a thousand thumb’s up!!!
Dr Schwartz is a brilliant therapist who didn’t give up on this excellent therapy.. Thank You
"A compassionate detective in my inner world". I love that. Agree.
This was beautiful, thank you. I appreciate what you did Dr. Chatterjee. I walked through this with you and it was the most effective session with Dr. Schwartz (thank you to you too) for me yet! May you continue to be at peace with all your parts.
I am trying to heal myself for me and my 12 year old daughter. Looking at how it's affecting her...how I am affecting her, how our toxic environment is affecting her, how my parents toxic attitudes are affecting her and now I realize how all of this had also affected me. I'm trying to become as self aware as I can and see what I need to do but why am I not doing it then?
I think it's because I need to take care of my inner child to help change the way I think and how I respond to life.
I also agree that it needs to be brought to the public but how can we get people to open their minds to it.. Maybe if we can the educational system to include emotional health because it will bring emotional awareness and in time this will allow people to have a more open mindset.
Having made the stretch personally and professionally over the decades from 'I Am Many' to 'No Bad Parts' was deep learning about life and what we made out of it. Thank you to everybody involved, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Thank you for this beautiful interview. Let's ride the next wave of psychotherapy, evolvement and life with joy, focus and balance.
In my opinion, IFS is one of the most radical and positive self transformation modalities out there. It's funny that Rangan made the comment that so many people were watching ... This was great! I had a relief just watching the unburdening. Well done!
That was really emotional for me. The part where he went to play with his 5 year old, I felt that
We're all looking for true identity, and when that's frustrated, a diagnosis of anything will do and become the driving force of our lives.
To be sure, physical and mental ailments or better yet, symptoms, ought to be attended to, but if there's no foundational understanding of the meaning and orientation of life, then living becomes or remains flat.
Speaking from experience, it's a tremendously challenging space to remove oneself from.
Best conversation I’ve heard in a long time!! Great work you two! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Words cannot even describe what I'm feeling. I just heard another podcast mention his technique. I will get into it deeper.
Thank you!!
I’m so grateful that you demonstrated this process today and allowed yourself to be vulnerable. If you can do this in a very public way, then I can definitely do this in private, thank you ☺️
IFS is magical.
Thank you
this makes me think of Pixar's "Inside Out"
Thank you so much for showing up so vulnerable and giving me/us a taste of how this works. I hope I will find someone in Sweden to do IFS with. It really resonated.
Rang an,check out,Pete Gerlach,and his “ Break the cycle” and his “ parts work” .He’s now deceased ,.His free work ,and ethics,seems of a truly loving,kind,dedicated individual ! It’s free!❤
I heard about this method from Gerlach more than 10 years ago, through the free resources, before Schwartz, you are right about Gerlach
I do a Gupta Brain Retraining programme developed to improve chronic health conditions. Part of the programme also uses puppets that are our various protector parts (Helper, Achiever, Inner Critic, Approval Seeker, Victim Part).
I’d like to see IFS therapy in political campaigns, like vote for me, I’ve done IFS, that’s who I want to vote for, an earthling, not a person in the cults of crapitalism, families, religions.
i totally agree!!!
Thank you so much for this, gentlemen. Totally went into my own thing here and came out very different - all three of me and by association probably all my other parts, too. A definite multi-listen and noted for sharing when the opportunity comes up. I am super grateful for you both!
Thanks so much for this Rangan, it must have been difficult to release this to the world but I got so much out of this. My inner 12 year old and 8 year old are having a lovely chat now. My 8 year old so needed a massive hug.
*BIGHUGS* ❤🙏
This was immensely profound for me, my therapist sent it to me and it actually opened up a lot of inner pain but also a lot of humble love on this method. I just hope to also find inner resources and outer resources to scaffold any feelings that come up from the inside too, so for me I'll be finding other ways to support myself through the process of opening up.
Thank you both for this insightful conversation.
I learned so much. I appreciate your openness to letting us sit in on your session.
I’ve been doing IFS for the past 4 years and it’s incredible
Dr. Chatterjee,
What a phenomenal conversation! So many of those parts resonated with me. I am so much in gratitude for all those people who were with me in times of my vulnerability and adversity. Your podcast has helped me immensely in my healing journey. Thank you not leaving out the part where you were going through the therapy session from this video. That is so powerful! 🙏
I really think IFS like any therapeutic model relies to a large degree on the skill and nature of the therapist and for those who may have very severe trauma then using any therapeutic model without sufficent skill or know how can be dangerous or traumatising.
Obviously Dick Schwartz is a skilled therapist and had been working in family therapy and therapeutic environments for many years before developing the IFS model.
Unfortunately too many people train in therapies where they are not sufficiently skilled or practiced or knowledgeable about the nature of trauma or have not sufficient self awareness themselves.
I'm not sure how well IFS can be practiced without the help of a trained therapist but I think we all need to be aware and cautious with any therapy, of trauma and what different places of readiness people maybe in and how much support they have in their lives.
Schwartz talks a lot about this in other talks and books, esp abt how protective parts can backlash
Look up Castlewood victims. This modality has been used to abuse others. I know lots of people say good things, but it is also a bit woo-woo & cult-y.
The ability of the therapist to be in 'Self' is crucial. I am an IFS therapist myself and I know it is crucial for me to be able to share my own Self (compassion, curiosity, kindness, patience, love, wisdom, creativity, calmness, clarity, courage, conidence etc etc) with whomever I am with in order for them to be enabled to also engage with their own Self. It is the Self that heals through the person doing the work not really the therapist as Dick said. The therapist is there as a guide, holder of Self and helps by asking questions as well as helping the person to unblend from parts when parts slip in. I think provided the therapist follows the protocol incorporating the memory reconsolidation process (the theoretical background upon which IFS's transformative power is based Bruce Ecker 2021) and is able to hold at least a reasonable amount of loving energy and curiosity then most therapists will be good enough. The danger comes when someone performs beyond their capabilities or goes off protocol too far or is not able to relax into Self energy. For PTSD and cPTSD then seeing an IFS therapist rather than just a coach or practitioner is needed in my opinion.
Wow. What a session both of you! This is my number one share this week and then some. Very honoured to have come across this.
Rangan, you're such a blessing. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
Sadly, I don't have a good connection with my body and I terribly miss it. And I so much want to have a "quick fix" but I guess I won't come around to practicing awareness if I want to establish this inner bond.
Indeed, this podcast came at the right point in time. Thank you again.
thank you. this was genius. your podcasts and videos have given me a new window on wellness. this one, so personal, i am particularly grateful for.
Wow. Thank you for this and every other podcast, book & all the wisdom you put out into the world. I think the exercise would've been hard to do in such a public space but I did it along with you and I can't thank you enough, what I discovered in a short space of time is truly life changing ❤️ keep being vulnerable, keep being your wonderful unique & very special self xx
Wow, I'm one of the people waiting for a therapist, so this little journey to your inner child was one of the things I needed. I was crying so much, but was also so reliefed afterwards. Thank you for sharing this Dr.Rangan. I really relate to a lot of your thoughts and your way from an "addicted personality" to, I thing I don't need that anymore. At least not that extrem. It was a really eyes opening Podcast. Thank you both very much. Excuse my mistakes. I'm originally from germany ;-)
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We are studying IFS in my weekly women’s group and this session is very helpful to understand the dialogue
Love your channel Doc! I appreciate the honesty that shines through every video and that you yourself learn while spreading the knowledge to all of us at the same time. 😊🙏
This technique could be easily integrated in a hypnotherapy session. I already have done this on my own self healing journey, for years. For me it is a form of reconnecting, acknowledging and integrating all the wounded parts my total being. For me like for most the separation started in childhood due through traumas. The integration all of these parts with compassion, attention, love and understanding has been transformative. Keep up the great work!!!!❤❤❤❤
Dear Rangan, thank you for the gift of sharing your experiences with us. That was very moving to watch and listen as you went through the process.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. This was a great session 🎈😍
I find it very difficult to picture things in my head ! Also always feel my intellect gets in the way… ie I know what answers are expected!
Beautiful technique, which runs almost identically to traditional Buddhist meditation practices approachs which I have experienced.
Thank you for this, Dr's. C and S. Very brave of you to undergo the session on camera and share it with us Rangan, but your bravery definately added to this publication. It is one thing to listen to a lecture, but it is quite another to be present to see the process in real time.
To me, this method seems to fall into the 'self help' catagory, (but I am aware that that also brings problems, as with the description of it being a 'therapy').
I am sure that there are many thousands of people like me that, as well as seeing this as helpful for themselves, also know someone who would benefit from the practice but who, through their life's experience (of bullying, for example) are 'therapy averse'.
It would be interesting to know what Doctor Schwarts has to say on helping people to see the potential of this method.
I have ordered his book - maybe that will have an answer.
This is the most powerful pod I have listened too. Thank you both!
I'm glad you shared this. I'm going to get one of his audiobooks and look more deeply into IFS. I stopped the video to have a go partway through and found the emotions that came up overwhelming and distressing, but I think it's worth my time persevering with this. I have RA and have had lifelong battles with illnesses that I've always suspected had their roots in emotional abuse and neglect in childhood. I've had huge results in controlling my illnesses with a plant-based diet and fasting, but I think this could be another piece of the jigsaw to getting well.
Sue, as an IFS practitioner and functional medicine (FM) health coach I fully agree with you. You need both a clean diet & healthy lifestyle AND IFS facilitation in order to resolve a chronic condition such as RA. FM alone did not fully heal my chronic health conditions. It wasn't until I did IFS that I finally fully healed. You can do a lot on your own. Jay Earley's book Self Therapy on doing IFS yourself also is a fantastic start. Be gentle and take small steps. Good luck!
@@sophiamosecoaching1784 Thank you! I'll get that audiobook too.
incredible thanks for this healing information we all need this.. be blessed in success.
Dear Dr. Rangan, thank you very much for this podcast, and for your example doing IFS. My therapist continues trying to apply it in our sessions, but it's incredible difficult for me. Regards from Portugal
Thanks for your comment - I m glad you found it helpful. It is worth persevering with as the effects can be truly transformative. Wishing you all the best, Rangan
Noelia:
You may also want to try 'Havening'
Also, Tapping
.... and I.F.S.
I was advised that it can be beneficial to alternate other modes of therapies using your discretion.
May God bless you, Ameen".🙏
A little suggestion, IFS sessions might not be successful due to a therapist not being fully in Self during the session but acting from a part (could be a caring part, impatient part, any part that may have an agenda for what should happen). I recommend looking at Dick's article on the Larger Self.
But it may also that you have fierce protectors guarding the door. If it is so, my protective parts are saying hello and would like to congratulate your parts on their job. They do work hard at keeping us safe! 💖
@@mariamarie7492 I like your approach and insight. I have a therapist certificate but do not practice with cases that I deem "difficult" for me . Its a big responsibility on the therapist part to treat clients with their true/whole Self. Any less is professionally irresponsible.
@@mariamarie7492The danger of this is that everything starts getting blamed on “parts”…. It can become a fantasy land based merely on semantics.
Amazing. Thankyou for being so open I learnt so much💖
Thanks for this, great conversation and demonstration. IFS is the language we need to have constructive conversations about our emotional lives. It's so intuitive and almost effortless to suspend my disbelief and try it, and I'm one of the most skeptical people I know haha. I have an IFS weekend coming up, really curious what I'm going to learn about myselves.
This is the way! Thanks for helping spread IFS!
Thanks. Looking forward
Finally something that sounds like it will actually set me free!
Haven't watched the video yet but I'm sold already
I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing your personal journey 🙏
Powerful stuff. I feel like ive kinda done this myself with the bullying i had in school and just rewriting it and always thinking to myself this is what i wouldve done now that i no so much and really geeting to intrinsic deep parts of me this is great to see in actione!
Incredible modality very very powerful and laser sharp effective!!!! ❤thank you so very much both!!!!!
Thank you both for the wonderful interview. 🙏
I’ll definitely get the book .
Wow I went through that with you , with what happened to me.
Thank you that has really helped me now feeling at peace .
Thank you so much ✨ IFS is the best! Love you both
“Compassionate detective”! Great conversation. I bought the book. Thank you!
Hello dr Rangan. I would like to thank you wholeheartedly for your genuine efforts for bringing change in every walk of our life.My father is diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and I am looking for right approach to treat his disease. I believe you will give me time and help me with all the expertise you have gained. I am looking forward to hearing from you. I know how much you love your family as you never hesitated to mention them in your podcasts.May all of you be blessed.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you! Thank you!
HIs books were life changing for me and my clients
Wow ,so awesome never seen anything like this ,please have more on this method. DR chatterjee thank you for demonstrating this new way of healing.
So appreciate your clarity, honesty and genuine interest in sharing this powerful system for healing. Thank you for sharing so we can learn.
Rangan, thank you soo much!! Really brilliant conversation. Truly appreciate your bravery to go through the process with Richard. THANK YOU!! Really inspiring!
Hope this video spreads far and wide. IFS has been the most helpful for me out of all interventions for learning about myself and starting to change the way I feel and act. This interview was great!
Do you work with a therapist?
@@Ana-cb2wb I do have a therapist, who is not specifically trained in IFS but who has some experience with it and is open to trying different methods. I do some IFS-style work with him, generally where I lead the inquiry and he is there as a support and guide and reminder of some of the methods. It helps me to have him there. But most of my work I have done alone after listening to many podcasts and audiobooks with Richard Schwartz which guided me in some of the methods. It is more difficult to do it alone sometimes, but to me it is awesome and very useful that it is at least possible to do some work alone using IFS. Let me know if you have any other questions :)
@@bigdumbhawk3354 Thank you for your kind and detailed responses, very insightful. I am looking forward to learn more aboyt this method and will see if I feel confident to start practicing on my own or look for s therapist who can help. All my best wishes 🙌❤
Best of luck with whatever you try :)
Thank you so much Dr Rangan 😪🙏❤❤❤🌹 Bless you and your family
WOW Dr Rangan I am learning so much how to heal my body when some is hurting me I have to love my self first
So exciting to see this shared here! I’ve been incorporating IFS into my work with my clients (and of course my own) over the past several years and it has been so empowering and transformative. Thank you. ❤️
Amazing interview. I’m definitely giving it another listen, and sharing. I also plan on reading more books and articles by Dick. Thank you!
About bringing it to the public safely. I have long experienced backlash. And I'm so glad you have named it.
So in terms of public safety, naming it early on, and advising about protocols on how to deal with it, would be best. Bearing in mind this phenomena comes up for those of us with a lot of trauma in whatever system or way we try to help ourselves, please don't hold back in making IFS available to us because of backlash. It's already affecting many of us. Even if those affected don't even have a language (let alone a protocol) to deal with it.
Thank you both for your work, ❤❤❤
So heartening to witness both Doctors revealing their challenges and vulnerability. It is such a powerful and much needed model as men are deeply conditioned to hide these parts of themselves - which of course is a loss for all relationships. Well done.
Women are too. The ones on anti-depressants for decades are in that club.
This information is to important; thx you for having it and being courageous.
Great work! Very similar to NLP and hypnosis... "parts work" where you are speaking directly to subconscious mind integrating the parts of your mind. Fabulous that you are sharing these powerful tools.
Thank you for sharing 😊
I have been interested in IFS for a while before listening to this pod and yesterday I participated in the section where he took you through an example of how it works - it was profoundly transformative so I wanted to thankyou Dr Rangan for helping to "nudge" me forward 😃
Magnificent!!! I had a powerful inner experience and love this idea of being a compassionate detective
I’ve been listening to a lot of Richard Schwartz interviews. This was my favorite one.
Rangan, thank you for sharing the beauty of your core Self as exhibited through the courage, compassion, and connectedness you extended, not only, to your inner 5 year-old and its protector, but also to your audience. Your process beautifully depicted the organicity and efficacy of IFS! What a gift.
And Dick, I'm inspired, as always, to witness you eloquently and gracefully guide parts to entrust Self and release burdens, thus bringing monumental healing to the internal system, which ripples outwardly. I'm so excited about IFS coming out to the mainstream and to larger socio-economic-political systems as I wholeheartedly agree with Rangan; that IFS is a universal modality that can effectively heal humankind.
Thanks Dr Rangan for an excellent podcast. The remarkable insights you have with Dr Richard cos your experiencing the process. Great vulnerability and openness.
Thanks for your bravery in sharing .This episode felt authentic and surely helped me reflect
That just made me well up! In a good way. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This seems to be very empowering. I would like to try this one day
Very grateful for your bravery, because in going with you on your journey I could also go through my own.
Fabulous! I love your interviews and this one is a gem.
Thank you so much!
So glad you both decided to keep going! 😊 min 52:00
Thanks for the courage to put this up.
Ugh…the ads at exactly the important practice moments… 😞
thats the price you pay for getting content like this for free :)
@@upendasana7857 Information this profound should have no barrier to entry
Pay for ad free- worth it
@@loberleitner1 I was going to say the EXACT same thing!!! SO worth it!