1. Understand the narcissist. damaged, fearful, feeling inadequate. Their strategy for coping is all external. They have assigned a role to you so they can be seen as decent and superior. Their opinion of you is to be beneath him. 2. I am separate and distinct. Stay away from his chaos. Grieve the loss of the person. 3. Commit to healthy responses, not carry defenses and shame. Find what gives me joy, encouragement, projects, people I enjoy. Know when to say yes and no. No need to rationalize and justify who I am.
Very helpful - your comment helps me figure out how to respond to my father as he is about to leave this world and doubling down on his bizarre abuses in shocking ways. Thank you!
No more! Seeing currently my long passed Mother who I empathized too much was jealous and competitive w me. She pushed me to marry a covert narcissist like my dad. No more. I'm excited to even at 74 reclaim myself. Many thanks Dr C and Team Healthy. 🌹
I'm so sorry to hear this but how exciting it is to be free at any age! I hope you love everyday of your life with this new enthusiasm. Sadly mother's do become jealous of their daughters and try to ruin them for some reason. Mine was and is the same.
Troubled souls argue with reality. They are committed to their fantasy world which is where their ego lives 24-7, and they expect to be accommodated in that space. As they chronically project the unwanted parts of themselves onto others, it is a difficult place to be, do and have peace.
I'm SO over my narcissistic first husband of 24 years. And the crap my parents put me through, training me to endure such abuse. 18 years free, now the hardest of all: limiting contact with my verbally abusive narcissistic younger son. But with the grief also comes some peace. It's my brother, my older son and I now. We're family.
I'm intolerant towards narcissist. After decades of dealing with my narcissistic parents behavior and narcissistic managers and supervisors at jobs I'm done with them for life. Never again will I put up with their crap.
@@lindsayp9691 I've had a narcissistic boss in every job I did. My first job was in the US army. My platoon leader made me scrub his office floor with a toothbrush just to dominate me. I got out after a few years of that harassment. Then my first civilian job was at Taco Bell. After the first month my manager sexually assaulted me. I was talking to him after closing and he reached put his hand on my genitals. I quit that job that night. Next job I had was as a community college police cadet. The narcissistic cop sergeant told me some guys trying to drag a young woman running off the street into their car was "just playing". My next job was working for my narcissistic father who would pick up a few "migrants" from the local Home Depot to do some construction labor for him. He paid me exactly the same wage as he paid them to let me know how low I was to him. My next job was a security guard. The ex cop manager tells me at the interview he's "not impressed" with me being a combat veteran with a college degree just to put me down and make me grovel at his feet for a job. That's not even all of it but its a good hint at the amount of crap I've had to put up with from narcissist for decades.
In summary: Healing from narcissistic abuse requires us to focus on the following: 1. Dgnity. 2. Respect. 3. Accountability while we are trusting the healing process (Instead of thiniking that we have to be constant explaining ourselves to everyone whom we meet on demand).
We had one in premiere chat the other day. They said they were a narcissist, and several attempts were made to draw chatters into conversation. Not a single one of us fell for it. It made me smile proudly.
Whenever I cannot follow a debate well I wonder if I am dealing with a narcissist .🙄🤔🧐Usually there are illogical arguments, alternative facts also known as lies and swollen pompous speech patterns. Sometimes screeching is also involved to convince you that the matter is of very high importance , but it is not.
@@mariaawake4502 I see that all day every day in YT comment sections. 😋 Having seen narcissism go to its extreme with a family member I am all too familiar with what people playing too stupid to be real looks like. Same with the open and obvious gaslighting, deflection, projectionism, whataboutism, whenaboutism, false appeals to authority, fake credentials fake victimhood, alternative definitions to common well-known things and so on.
Dr C I have been separated from my ex narc for 9 years and have a child with him, about to turn 10yo, whom he has alienated from me entirely now for 18 months. Despite all the self work I have done over the years I still come back to you for your kind compassionate manner and the reminders I need to hear when it all gets too much. Can't thank you enough for your presence with us in the pain and turmoil created by these people. 20 years this ex has been doing his best to destroy my life. I find our public services seriously lacking when it comes to support for victims and their children so without you I don't know how I'd have coped all this time. You are a global treasure 🙏❤️
yes they steal children and poison them against you , build barriers and fences and then say, why dont you relate??? Any attempt at building a bond are attacked , destroyed belittled and broke. he s not interested in that, he wont do that , he does not want that. who would teach him that, why take him there, hes busy leave him alone. If you take the person on you just end up in a war and destroy everything, you cant fight over children, you" win" and child loses as the narcissist will never ever stop
Being "ME" does not give someone permission to not take someone's feelings into account, especially their spouse's, and being "ME" does not give some justification for their poor behavior and deceitful, provoking and manipulative tactics. Being "ME" also does not mean that you live your life as if your spouse does not exist, even with in the same household. Some individuals could take this being "ME" to use it to their own advantage and justify their evil covered tactics. What is being taught and meant for healthy growth, unhealthy individuals could take and twist this logic....can anyone relate or follow how this could be the case dealing with some individuals? This a good video, though, as are many others. And, it's kind of like, if you go to counseling with these individuals.... NIGHTMARE.... lesson learned.... they will keep everything surface, no effort on their part, they will kind of just play off of what the counselor says...just kind of roll with the punches... ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT on their part, and many counselors miss this, which makes it even more difficult for the person being abused emotionally and mentally, and the confusion, ohhh, all the confusion and chaos.... and it's so very difficult to prove or explain, because their tactics are so covered and manipulative....so frustrating
I’m living exactly this right now. He tried to gaslight me several times with something I found inappropriate very inappropriate. I dismissed it. The fourth time I said to myself, “well, if he gets to dish it out, then I get to respnd”. I did not mince words. Mine was a brief, and stable response. He threatened to walk away, but said it was “my call”. Nope buddy, that’s on you. If you choose to walk, alright then, but before you go, I will remind you of who I am, and will continue to be. You can’t change that. Either choose to stay, and behave better, or go. The rest is up to you. I will remain who I am. Each time he sabotages. I remind myself that he’s getting too close. Too close to happiness perhaps. Too close to intimacy. So he needs to send me away. That’s an inside job buddy. That’s fear inside if YOU. It’s not attractive, amd it has become predictable, which makes me sad for him. Must be hell on earth.
1. Develop an understanding of Narcissism 2. Define yourself: who do you want to be? 3. Commit to consistent behaviour 1. What are Narcissists? ~ very damaged from the inside ~ external orientated, very phony ~ they do not address from inside out ~ you are just a role for their affirmation ~ they use you for enabling ~ their opinions are very poor developed ~ they can't manage complexity 2. Become a meaningful understanding of yourself: ~ be aware that their turmoil does not belong to you ~ be aware of your specific traits ~ be a contemplative thinker ~ what is your sense of purpose? 3. Reconstruct your interior ~ when you are angry, listen to your emotion ~ what is needed to change? ~ what is the best way to manage conflict? ~ what are the alternatives to your defensiveness? ~ find things, that you really enjoy ~ what are the things that fulfill you? ~ you do not have to justify/rationalize ~ your superpower is introspection 》》》Being YOU is a necessity!!! Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
@@lishmahlishmah Thanks, Lishma. And I am glad that my notes are helpful...Hm, interesting, if you are a non-speaker or rough-speaker of the English language, as you call yourself, then it's amazing that I always understand what you're saying 🙃 ... And remember: do not justify and do not rationalize 😁 In your case I would add: do not overthink and do not be upset about ytube technique 😄🤭 Lishma, what I actually want to tell you: You are just good and enough the way you are 🤗❣
@@roxymovie3938 Bang! 💥 _You hit the nail on the head_ . On *my* head 😳 . Thank you 💚 ( _Well, yes, I know that you understand... And Teresa , too. And other very smart people do. It's because you had to understand very strange people in your life. So, you are well trained to understand the non-understandable >>> Hey, now just joking with my hyper justification and hyper whatever_ ) 🌼🌿 *Thank you* 🌼🌿
Remember who they are, remember who you are and walk away. Practice being balanced, repeatedly. Look for progress, NOT perfection. These things take time. Eventually we react less and less. Then their abuse can get WORSE. Then we keep practicing AGAIN. Much of the time it feels like it’s simply my unheard inner child being triggered. I notice that I am an adult now and remind myself how that is the old little me that is triggered. Breathe deep and begin again. That’s my 2 cents. Lol. Best of luck to you all for a better year ahead. ❤🎉
Bunny, I think the saddest thing is to realize that the inner child had no possibility to grow by the ongoing turmoil. You might be an adult now, but your inner child is still so young and undeveloped. Now it is the time and the chance to let your inner child develop - by being the safe person for your little one 😉🫂❤
My bully's enabler (my mother) told me his abuse was my fault (in a much less direct way) because "that's just the way he is, and you should know that by now." I had already been listening to Dr. C quite a bit, and that statement hit me very differently than it would have before. It reminded me that, yes, that IS how he is, but I have how I am, too. At a later time, when we were all together, I took the chance, gathered my courage, and told the bully in front of Mom and my other siblings that I don't call him names or imply that he's dishonest, and I wouldn't tolerate that from him. (He actually pulled up his last email to me doing exactly those things, as if to brag about it, so there was no question at all what I was referring to) I told everyone, when he does that, I will leave. We had a somewhat normal meal together. He hasn't spoken to me since, and nobody has expected me to host any get-togethers that includes him. Our family is profoundly passive-aggressive so having such a direct, unequivocal statement about what is unacceptable and the consequences that will occur was highly unusual. I know Mom finds me "pushy" and "unpleasant" and "rude" for doing this, but I don't care because the result is personal peace and stability - priceless.
How to manage conflict: in my family it's how to avoid conflict. If there's conflict with me, they just drop me. For them, its my way or the highway. I have no value for them.
The more I grew in my Christianity and the more Christ moved in my life the less I cared if anyone else liked me. I love people as He loves but do not have a NEED to be loved by any other human being. I am more concerned now about becoming the person Christ wants me to be than i am about how others treat me. After all, Christ answered not a word when He was placed on that cross. Only those who trust in Him will have a relationship with Him and spend eternity with Him. When Christ loves us no one else could love us the way He does.
Damaged ladies all my life. The most recent mirrored me and my desire to love myself. Damned if she didn’t speak well of my inner child and bring him out. I now know I have a soul and love. I pledged my love to her. Took a week to see she’s a total fake. Bless her little soul. Her love radiated from her eyes so hypnotically. Each visit her eyes revealed a different version, each version consistently loving and caring. The moment she walked out my door after a visit, I knew I didn’t exist. She has created so many worlds and jumps world to world. Each world someone to mirror. She’s quite fascinating. I got the “I love you so much I don’t even understand it” world. Ahhhhh yes; only to be ignored until she was ready to absorb the intense affection and sensuality being poured all over her. The love seemed so real. Maybe it was. But the gambling; drugs, hanging out with other men and constant lying took its toll. The love version I got was something to behold, if only when it was my turn. I was addicted. She would not even allow me to break up with her. Just her presence melted my heart. Had to get serious and let her know I knew everything. Asked her to come clean. With every truth there were 5 lies. With every admission there was more serious omissions. It hurt my heart. I love her so much but she was just a mirror of me. Who is the narc now.
"I'm not in this world to prop up this other person" wow that hit hard. I'm learning that not every decision I make has to be based on whether or not it will make my mom upset. But then if it does I get guilt tripped and need to emotionally disconnect myself from that.
I wish I had learned this when I was a teenager. I was so enmeshed. I don't get a do-over, so I'll just have to go forward healthily (DRC). One thing I have to say though is, "I care about what you think because I love you, but I understand that I have to choose what is right for me, and you don't get to choose for me." I think that fits within your 3-step process (?).
Thanks Dr C from a survivor in Australia! Just beginning my journey but have made big steps. Hard to go no contact when you have kids involved. Even dealing with things like Christmas and birthdays! Learning to trust yourself again is a difficult process but is truly a gift.
We don't want to end contact with an adult child who now has a child. We must be our best selves, not be defensive, not take the bait for an argument, just reach out kindly and know the push-pull runs in cycles. God help us ❤️🙏❤️
I think you call that radical acceptance. Need to limit the contact to brief. I do that with a family member. Question if it is worth anything but in a way, I feel better doing what I feel is right. And I pray.
@@kerrytaggart8206 I do this with a family member. It feels right to keep the door open; although I doubt that the other will want to discuss and work on reconciliation.
Just because they are family does not mean you owe them countless chances or be the first to initiate contact. However, if things escalate, please ensure that you and any children are protected. You owe that to yourself.
Would you please talk about a narcissist who commits suicide? My brother accused us of pushing him away, although he was the one who would not stay in touch. He was difficult, angry, belligerent and spread gossip. He said he took care of our elderly mother but didn’t, bullied us and our children when we visited so that we would stay away, and after years of this- my mother was a huge enabler- we had to sell the house, move mom to assisted living, and tell our brother to leave. He never forgave us. After 13 years of silent treatment, He killed himself on Monday. Many of us are grief stricken (9 siblings) feel guilty, confused, and hurt by false accusations.
I never lost who I was. And in the end I was discarded with extreme venom. One thing I remember he said was, "You're stronger than me". And I didn't appreciate that statement until much later. After I learned about Narcissistic Abuse.
I’ve had 2 narcissists tell me I was “strong”… and then they continued on trying to make me look weak and worse than them. Very odd behaviour to wrap my head around. But yes, we are stronger than they are.
Absolutely. If we can just get over each momentary bump with no reaction, we win. It takes practice. Keep going and keep coming back here for support. ❤
Thank you! This is brilliant. I listened many times. My life has transformed in the last few weeks having watched your videos. Encounters with my ex bf have been getting better. I make the choice for my health and sanity to care more about what is going on inside me instead of trying to figure out the universe he's living in. I see so many people in my past I could have dealt with better if I knew what I know now. Many thanks.❤
Exactly what I have done recently. Look at the psychology of the narcissist history and things become quite clear as to the reason for the toxic behavior. Then you get clarity and can stay on your own path while minimizing conflict. The narcissist won't like this (they are in denial and refuse to address past trauma) you no longer will be triggered by their misrepresentation. Look at it like Fletch just laugh at the absurdity, don't carry the toxic weight of the Gaslight Game.
Described my ex husband perfectly. Thank you for your clear steps to heal and not believing what he says I am and the others that believe him, including my kids who have been brainwashed by their dad that I am the problem and ruined the family. Thank you! Your videos are so helpful and I am thankful for your insight, reassuring voice and words of wisdom.
Thank you Dr. C. My NYE was spent listening to how inadequate I am and unaccomplished. I'd be a better person if I just listen to him and follow his directives to the letter. Apologize for not being a better person for him. I'm working on my plan of escape.
I’ve been listening to the same exact speech for the last few days now. I’m just such a horrible person, I lie, I manipulate, yet he wants to be with me! Go figure.
@@amandaliverpool3374It seems this time of year, it gets worse. We sense the loss deeply. We thrive on community. They count on that. So, we find community elsewhere. Or we create it. I’m gll lol ad to be a part of yours.
Basically everywhere a narc goes...Various forms of instability, chaos, & unnecessary drama follows them.They're like a 🌪️ of dysfunction that turns people's lives upside down😬.
Education is so important. We are often so unaware of what is going on around us. I thought it was strange that she abused me but I loved her. The trouble is that she never really loved me and I was her punching bag for her childhood troubles and I had to take it all in silence. Never talk to a narcissist. Get them to write things down. They can’t be trusted.
This post is very helpful. I don't think he, (my covert narcissist) could be more cruel than he already has been. I'm in the "discard" phase. Videos like this help me to understand, intellectually and emotionally, what is really happening. I experience PTSD which keeps me in survival mode, and highly reactive, which is his goal. After 56 years, in and out of this relationship, I now see his super power - destabilization. He's been doing this to me since I was 12 and he was 21 - The power imbalance has made this extra challenging. He's only satisfied when I'm broken. He can only do that if I allow it. No more. I'm working with a therapist to develop exit strategies, and become financially independent. He can only hurt me if I allow it.
Wishing you peace and joy this year as you move through your process! It’s never too late to start. There was a placard I saw, “your opinion of me is none of my business “. Very poignant!
Being me is a necessity. I have gained so much knowledge from your programs and understood the reality to this ever challenging behaviours of individuals. I have learned to be open minded and been aware of the severe consequences I can be faced with. I realise that empathy does not solve this problem anymore. Thank you for your ongoing support as this has made me feel wholesome once again . God bless you. ❤.
I'm still learning who I am, feel more confident but also more lonely. The narc is still around, quite useful as I'm still seeing all those things I didn't see before and learning just how I managed to get myself here and allow myself to remain here.
I HAVE found the stabilizing factor and its all because of you Dr Carter. Your videos and podcasts are life saving...thank you from the bottom of my heart!
After gaining knowledge to deal with narcissism, I can look at myself calmly enough to see I may have some high functioning autism traits. I'm ok with that.
Welcome 2024 🤗 Happy New Year to everyone!!! May the New Year be filled with Love Peace Healthiness Wisdom Dignity Respect Civility Empathy May you always find a hand to hold you when you are struggeling. May you always find a light to lighten up your soul, when it seems dark from the inside. May you always find a connection to your inner strength when life is challenging. Best wishes to everyone and thanks to all of Team Healthy and welcome to the new ones!!! P.S.: What are your wishes? Please feel free to add more wishes 😊
Well, at least for the past few years my narc mom and narc sister have not 'blathered' on at me at all. They completely disowned me...after having defrauded me out of my inheritance and my rights as an executor of my father's estate. Most people think of narcs as overly in your face and interfering. My narcs just go around behind my back trying to destroy me while not even acknowledging I exist.
This is an excellent summation to start the new year. I think I'll write these notes down and carry it with me, when I feel like I'm in a vulnerable circumstance. Thank the Lord for you, Dr. Carter. Many blessings.
Thanks Dr C! And thanks to others in this section for your insightful comments. Two particular points: the grief of losing the relationship (more accurately the hopes you had), and the anger which feels like a grudge (shame), and is actually a boundary (something we can feel really uncomfortable about in aftermath of living with these dynamics). Points i will ponder. Appreciate those prompts. May all have a day filled with comfort and simple delights. Peace, friends.
Thank you! Two days ago I went to bed desperate because of the abuse my n. husband of 23 years is still inflicting on me and my kids. I found some peace in the determination to find inside me and nurturing the small steam of identity that survived all the abuse. Your video gave the strength and reassurance. I will survive!
Im learning sooo much from you Dr Carter!! Life with my narcissistic husband is so much better. Ive become a gray rock. Distancing myself as much as I can. NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES are life saving. Cant hear his uninvited obnoxious uninvited opinions when Im watching tv. Having seperate bedrooms is so helpful as he isolates himself in it 70% of the time. And all the other tools is helpful. Until I decide if I need to leave. My home is important to me. So for now it's day by day and learning more n more each day. Im becoming stronger in this trial.
Maybe, if possible, and I think time will make it easier, and that is to personally take most, if not all emotion out of each situation. Make sure you are safe, and just internally rationalize the characteristic the narcissist is portraying. Like, 'oh you are trying to gaslight now and I know it' or 'oh, so now you are going down the guilt trail and I know it', or 'oh, so now you are over exaggerating sickness to get sympathy and I know it'. I know this has helped my emotional state to realize that it's not me causing issues, it's the narcissist in my life. And that makes my 42 year marriage so much easier to understand.
run, run and keep running. best to communicate via attorney only. YES no contact for me was the only way, however, they still have my son, so she uses him to destroy me as well. Its a nightmare.
When you are getting to know a narcissist, they encourage you to reveal your worst mistakes you've made, and secrets of your past. NEVER fall for this. Later on, as they consider you under their thumb, they will always use the information you gave them thinking they are your friend, against you. As you comment on their odd behavior, they will only be too willing to throw up in your face those mistakes you shared with them. It is their way of undermining you and keeping you under their control.
No matter where you move to, you will encounter narcissists. When one is your neighbor and also attends your church, you can't always get away from them, but you can go yellow rock with them--societally polite, and nothing more.
Very good message for me today. I have been able to find a therapist. Still dealing with the smear campaign but am getting stronger… and it’s ok not caring about what they think… thanks Doc!
Such good advice. Thank you. My friend from college, who turned out to be a narcissist, sent me a birthday card. After I suspected her of being a narcissist and cut ties with her, she sends me a birthday card saying she wishes me well. And that she will take me back as a friend! I don't want her back as a friend. They truly cannot see themselves.
My experience looking back at a mimimum is: like paying to go see a Movie....with popcornand Coke in hand the movie starts off pretty good....but then doesn't seem to flow with the story. Chaos, crazy acting out, strange behaviors ect. The sad part is you realize you are vested and hate to throw it all away so you endure. What a waste. But a great lesson learned Dr. C. Pick your relationships carefully.. just like the movies !! Movies are not personal..bad..relationships leave you with a Limp. Thanks Dr. C.
Very helpful thank you. I've moved out but still have to maintain some contact as our 16 year old daughter lives with her. Going through the painful process of asset division now.
@@SurvivingNarcissismIt actually is NOT in the best interest of a child’s well being either. Lying in a court of law and perjury ARE against the law fyi.
@@misseskval2686 The problem with the justice system, regarding false reporting is that you must be charged. So let me get this straight? A Sociopath makes up a lie that someone attempted to murder them, yet they do not have a scratch. Yet if the prosecutors do not believe the Sociopath, they face no consequences and can just do it again? 🤔
So so powerful!!!! Know you are!! Bring activity into your life!! Support group that love and pray for you including my Pastor who's well versed. Im so empowered with knowledge and starting to fill great joy!!!! Thank you Dr Carter!!!! God bless you!!
This was so healing and helpful…I think healing from interactions with narcissist people is such a layered, heavy, nuanced thing to experience…super hepatitis
I just wrote a for me very serious issue. And now I have a short joke: Dr.Carter, shall I come over to your place so I take Gus out, outside for a walk, because I think otherwise he is not coming from the couch...EVER!😅
Wow, you have made me realize that in terms of defining any Ideal thing I might wish to have in my life... I do it in terms of, "Well, it shouldn't be ___, ___ or ___." And I am downright terrible at "It SHOULD be like this: ___, ___ & ___." This abuse has forced our passive voice into being our default mode of expression. UGH I am SICK of this!! TY for all u do, Dr. Carter - & HNY! 💙❣️
Love you Dr C, thanks for everything you do for us, including having us feel we are not alone in this journey, and that makes me feel so much better. ❤
My wife and I were sitting on the couch and she was teasing me by poking my ear with her licked finger, giggling and eventually asking me why I wasn't responding. I said that I was just contemplating the better alternatives here on Team Healthy. She burst out laughing, saying "I blame Carter."
Thank you for this precious and clear guide in the midst of the confusion that can often still take hold on an emotional level. Having mental clarity on "what to do" is perhaps the minimum, but it is the absolutely necessary minimum. Thank you dr C. 👏 Happy New Year 🌎🌍🌏✨✨✨✨✨ Edit: I have a question (always here with me). . I'm thinking on how to write it to communicate what I mean in the best possible way... .(I mean the translation from Italian into English)
1. Understand the narcissist. damaged, fearful, feeling inadequate. Their strategy for coping is all external. They have assigned a role to you so they can be seen as decent and superior. Their opinion of you is to be beneath him.
2. I am separate and distinct. Stay away from his chaos. Grieve the loss of the person.
3. Commit to healthy responses, not carry defenses and shame. Find what gives me joy, encouragement, projects, people I enjoy. Know when to say yes and no. No need to rationalize and justify who I am.
What? You're not the victim of a narcissist?
Not using them as an excuse to retaliate with their same behaviors after getting over the shock of it??
Thank you for your writing and encouragement.
Very helpful - your comment helps me figure out how to respond to my father as he is about to leave this world and doubling down on his bizarre abuses in shocking ways. Thank you!
just run.
No more! Seeing currently my long passed Mother who I empathized too much was jealous and competitive w me. She pushed me to marry a covert narcissist like my dad. No more. I'm excited to even at 74 reclaim myself. Many thanks Dr C and Team Healthy. 🌹
I'm so sorry to hear this but how exciting it is to be free at any age! I hope you love everyday of your life with this new enthusiasm. Sadly mother's do become jealous of their daughters and try to ruin them for some reason. Mine was and is the same.
Troubled souls argue with reality. They are committed to their fantasy world which is where their ego lives 24-7, and they expect to be accommodated in that space. As they chronically project the unwanted parts of themselves onto others, it is a difficult place to be, do and have peace.
I've wept to a counselor about being unloved. Now I recognize narcissists can't love. Self love job number 1 now. Blessed in so many ways. 🙏🏾🌹
I’ve met therapist who are narcissistic. Listening to them closely make sure your not being gaslit
@@cherobinson6371 YES.
Good for you! Keep up the healing and good work! ❤
My bully ( brother) used to criticize me- my life- my Car, you name it; then say" carol want to stay for Dinner?"" [ it took me too l😅ng to dump him
That is the root cause of our pain. Hungry for love.
"I'm not in this world to prop up this other person's psychological dysfunction"
Well said!
Oh but you are! She gave you birth She owns you! You're her pet!
Escape, no contact, keep going
Yep 👍❤️🙏
I'm SO over my narcissistic first husband of 24 years. And the crap my parents put me through, training me to endure such abuse. 18 years free, now the hardest of all: limiting contact with my verbally abusive narcissistic younger son. But with the grief also comes some peace. It's my brother, my older son and I now. We're family.
I'm intolerant towards narcissist. After decades of dealing with my narcissistic parents behavior and narcissistic managers and supervisors at jobs I'm done with them for life. Never again will I put up with their crap.
Unfortunately there are even narcissist teachers with our kids these days 😢definitely narcissist bosses everywhere
@@lindsayp9691 I've had a narcissistic boss in every job I did. My first job was in the US army. My platoon leader made me scrub his office floor with a toothbrush just to dominate me. I got out after a few years of that harassment. Then my first civilian job was at Taco Bell. After the first month my manager sexually assaulted me. I was talking to him after closing and he reached put his hand on my genitals. I quit that job that night. Next job I had was as a community college police cadet. The narcissistic cop sergeant told me some guys trying to drag a young woman running off the street into their car was "just playing". My next job was working for my narcissistic father who would pick up a few "migrants" from the local Home Depot to do some construction labor for him. He paid me exactly the same wage as he paid them to let me know how low I was to him. My next job was a security guard. The ex cop manager tells me at the interview he's "not impressed" with me being a combat veteran with a college degree just to put me down and make me grovel at his feet for a job. That's not even all of it but its a good hint at the amount of crap I've had to put up with from narcissist for decades.
In summary: Healing from narcissistic abuse requires us to focus on the following: 1. Dgnity. 2. Respect. 3. Accountability while we are trusting the healing process (Instead of thiniking that we have to be constant explaining ourselves to everyone whom we meet on demand).
From narcissistic spouse, children, in law involvement, church leaders, etc its multi faceted. And depressing.
They are demons.... there is one Higher and waiting to hear your prayer to comfort you. Worked for me .
I hear that. I’ve been there. We can survive and beat this. ❤
Help, Lord. Looking up.
Acceptance that narcissist will not accompany us.
Education that non is our fault.
Action towards better future.
How do you move forward without closure. He left but blamed me for leaving.
@@amibauer547 he doesn’t deserve you, maybe that’s for the best! Move on life too short.
We had one in premiere chat the other day. They said they were a narcissist, and several attempts were made to draw chatters into conversation. Not a single one of us fell for it. It made me smile proudly.
Ugh. But I'm glad you dodged the bullets!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism We have learned soooo much here.
Yep. Total grey rock 🪨
Whenever I cannot follow a debate well I wonder if I am dealing with a narcissist .🙄🤔🧐Usually there are illogical arguments, alternative facts also known as lies and swollen pompous speech patterns. Sometimes screeching is also involved to convince you that the matter is of very high importance , but it is not.
@@mariaawake4502 I see that all day every day in YT comment sections. 😋
Having seen narcissism go to its extreme with a family member I am all too familiar with what people playing too stupid to be real looks like. Same with the open and obvious gaslighting, deflection, projectionism, whataboutism, whenaboutism, false appeals to authority, fake credentials fake victimhood, alternative definitions to common well-known things and so on.
Dr C I have been separated from my ex narc for 9 years and have a child with him, about to turn 10yo, whom he has alienated from me entirely now for 18 months. Despite all the self work I have done over the years I still come back to you for your kind compassionate manner and the reminders I need to hear when it all gets too much. Can't thank you enough for your presence with us in the pain and turmoil created by these people. 20 years this ex has been doing his best to destroy my life. I find our public services seriously lacking when it comes to support for victims and their children so without you I don't know how I'd have coped all this time. You are a global treasure 🙏❤️
yes they steal children and poison them against you , build barriers and fences and then say, why dont you relate??? Any attempt at building a bond are attacked , destroyed belittled and broke. he s not interested in that, he wont do that , he does not want that. who would teach him that, why take him there, hes busy leave him alone. If you take the person on you just end up in a war and destroy everything, you cant fight over children, you" win" and child loses as the narcissist will never ever stop
Being "ME" does not give someone permission to not take someone's feelings into account, especially their spouse's, and being "ME" does not give some justification for their poor behavior and deceitful, provoking and manipulative tactics. Being "ME" also does not mean that you live your life as if your spouse does not exist, even with in the same household. Some individuals could take this being "ME" to use it to their own advantage and justify their evil covered tactics. What is being taught and meant for healthy growth, unhealthy individuals could take and twist this logic....can anyone relate or follow how this could be the case dealing with some individuals? This a good video, though, as are many others. And, it's kind of like, if you go to counseling with these individuals.... NIGHTMARE.... lesson learned.... they will keep everything surface, no effort on their part, they will kind of just play off of what the counselor says...just kind of roll with the punches... ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT on their part, and many counselors miss this, which makes it even more difficult for the person being abused emotionally and mentally, and the confusion, ohhh, all the confusion and chaos.... and it's so very difficult to prove or explain, because their tactics are so covered and manipulative....so frustrating
I’m living exactly this right now. He tried to gaslight me several times with something I found inappropriate very inappropriate. I dismissed it. The fourth time I said to myself, “well, if he gets to dish it out, then I get to respnd”. I did not mince words. Mine was a brief, and stable response. He threatened to walk away, but said it was “my call”. Nope buddy, that’s on you. If you choose to walk, alright then, but before you go, I will remind you of who I am, and will continue to be. You can’t change that. Either choose to stay, and behave better, or go. The rest is up to you. I will remain who I am. Each time he sabotages. I remind myself that he’s getting too close. Too close to happiness perhaps. Too close to intimacy. So he needs to send me away. That’s an inside job buddy. That’s fear inside if YOU. It’s not attractive, amd it has become predictable, which makes me sad for him. Must be hell on earth.
1. Develop an understanding of Narcissism
2. Define yourself: who do you want to be?
3. Commit to consistent behaviour
1. What are Narcissists?
~ very damaged from the inside
~ external orientated, very phony
~ they do not address from inside out
~ you are just a role for their affirmation
~ they use you for enabling
~ their opinions are very poor developed
~ they can't manage complexity
2. Become a meaningful understanding of yourself:
~ be aware that their turmoil does not belong to you
~ be aware of your specific traits
~ be a contemplative thinker
~ what is your sense of purpose?
3. Reconstruct your interior
~ when you are angry, listen to your emotion
~ what is needed to change?
~ what is the best way to manage conflict?
~ what are the alternatives to your defensiveness?
~ find things, that you really enjoy
~ what are the things that fulfill you?
~ you do not have to justify/rationalize
~ your superpower is introspection
》》》Being YOU is a necessity!!!
Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
You're amazing, Roxy!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thanks a lot, Dr Carter. Wishing you an amazing New Year ahead!!!
Yes, amazing! And so helpful for non-native speakers 👏
(well, maybe the right term in my case is "non-speaker" or "rough-speaker" )😁
@@lishmahlishmah Thanks, Lishma. And I am glad that my notes are helpful...Hm, interesting, if you are a non-speaker or rough-speaker of the English language, as you call yourself, then it's amazing that I always understand what you're saying 🙃
... And remember: do not justify and do not rationalize 😁 In your case I would add: do not overthink and do not be upset about ytube technique 😄🤭
Lishma, what I actually want to tell you:
You are just good and enough the way you are 🤗❣
@@roxymovie3938
Bang! 💥
_You hit the nail on the head_ . On *my* head 😳 .
Thank you 💚
( _Well, yes, I know that you understand... And Teresa , too. And other very smart people do. It's because you had to understand very strange people in your life. So, you are well trained to understand the non-understandable >>> Hey, now just joking with my hyper justification and hyper whatever_ )
🌼🌿 *Thank you* 🌼🌿
For the record- Good Morning, Team Healthy
@michelleharkness7549 , Good Day !
Remember who they are, remember who you are and walk away. Practice being balanced, repeatedly. Look for progress, NOT perfection. These things take time. Eventually we react less and less. Then their abuse can get WORSE. Then we keep practicing AGAIN.
Much of the time it feels like it’s simply my unheard inner child being triggered. I notice that I am an adult now and remind myself how that is the old little me that is triggered. Breathe deep and begin again. That’s my 2 cents. Lol. Best of luck to you all for a better year ahead. ❤🎉
@tbunnyshy1 thanks , I will remember the old me and give her a pep talk & hug .
@@Greenawareness188🤗❤️🤗❤️
Bunny, I think the saddest thing is to realize that the inner child had no possibility to grow by the ongoing turmoil. You might be an adult now, but your inner child is still so young and undeveloped. Now it is the time and the chance to let your inner child develop - by being the safe person for your little one 😉🫂❤
Well said 👏🙏
My bully's enabler (my mother) told me his abuse was my fault (in a much less direct way) because "that's just the way he is, and you should know that by now." I had already been listening to Dr. C quite a bit, and that statement hit me very differently than it would have before. It reminded me that, yes, that IS how he is, but I have how I am, too. At a later time, when we were all together, I took the chance, gathered my courage, and told the bully in front of Mom and my other siblings that I don't call him names or imply that he's dishonest, and I wouldn't tolerate that from him. (He actually pulled up his last email to me doing exactly those things, as if to brag about it, so there was no question at all what I was referring to) I told everyone, when he does that, I will leave. We had a somewhat normal meal together. He hasn't spoken to me since, and nobody has expected me to host any get-togethers that includes him. Our family is profoundly passive-aggressive so having such a direct, unequivocal statement about what is unacceptable and the consequences that will occur was highly unusual. I know Mom finds me "pushy" and "unpleasant" and "rude" for doing this, but I don't care because the result is personal peace and stability - priceless.
How to manage conflict: in my family it's how to avoid conflict. If there's conflict with me, they just drop me. For them, its my way or the highway. I have no value for them.
The more I grew in my Christianity and the more Christ moved in my life the less I cared if anyone else liked me. I love people as He loves but do not have a NEED to be loved by any other human being. I am more concerned now about becoming the person Christ wants me to be than i am about how others treat me. After all, Christ answered not a word when He was placed on that cross. Only those who trust in Him will have a relationship with Him and spend eternity with Him. When Christ loves us no one else could love us the way He does.
Amen!
Amen!
Amen!
All religion is just brainwashing!
Damaged ladies all my life. The most recent mirrored me and my desire to love myself. Damned if she didn’t speak well of my inner child and bring him out. I now know I have a soul and love. I pledged my love to her. Took a week to see she’s a total fake. Bless her little soul. Her love radiated from her eyes so hypnotically. Each visit her eyes revealed a different version, each version consistently loving and caring. The moment she walked out my door after a visit, I knew I didn’t exist. She has created so many worlds and jumps world to world. Each world someone to mirror. She’s quite fascinating. I got the “I love you so much I don’t even understand it” world. Ahhhhh yes; only to be ignored until she was ready to absorb the intense affection and sensuality being poured all over her. The love seemed so real. Maybe it was. But the gambling; drugs, hanging out with other men and constant lying took its toll. The love version I got was something to behold, if only when it was my turn. I was addicted. She would not even allow me to break up with her. Just her presence melted my heart. Had to get serious and let her know I knew everything. Asked her to come clean. With every truth there were 5 lies. With every admission there was more serious omissions. It hurt my heart. I love her so much but she was just a mirror of me. Who is the narc now.
"I'm not in this world to prop up this other person" wow that hit hard. I'm learning that not every decision I make has to be based on whether or not it will make my mom upset. But then if it does I get guilt tripped and need to emotionally disconnect myself from that.
Going no contact with a narcissist is a nightmare, I couldn't believe the extent of her lies and theft. It cost me a small fortune in legal fees.
I wish I had learned this when I was a teenager. I was so enmeshed. I don't get a do-over, so I'll just have to go forward healthily (DRC). One thing I have to say though is, "I care about what you think because I love you, but I understand that I have to choose what is right for me, and you don't get to choose for me." I think that fits within your 3-step process (?).
"Because you see, me being me is not going to be that high risk of a proposition". Thank you so much !
So pleased!
Thanks Dr C from a survivor in Australia! Just beginning my journey but have made big steps. Hard to go no contact when you have kids involved. Even dealing with things like Christmas and birthdays! Learning to trust yourself again is a difficult process but is truly a gift.
We don't want to end contact with an adult child who now has a child. We must be our best selves, not be defensive, not take the bait for an argument, just reach out kindly and know the push-pull runs in cycles. God help us ❤️🙏❤️
I think you call that radical acceptance. Need to limit the contact to brief. I do that with a family member. Question if it is worth anything but in a way, I feel better doing what I feel is right. And I pray.
@@kerrytaggart8206 I do this with a family member. It feels right to keep the door open; although I doubt that the other will want to discuss and work on reconciliation.
Just because they are family does not mean you owe them countless chances or be the first to initiate contact. However, if things escalate, please ensure that you and any children are protected. You owe that to yourself.
Would you please talk about a narcissist who commits suicide? My brother accused us of pushing him away, although he was the one who would not stay in touch. He was difficult, angry, belligerent and spread gossip. He said he took care of our elderly mother but didn’t, bullied us and our children when we visited so that we would stay away, and after years of this- my mother was a huge enabler- we had to sell the house, move mom to assisted living, and tell our brother to leave. He never forgave us. After 13 years of silent treatment, He killed himself on Monday. Many of us are grief stricken (9 siblings) feel guilty, confused, and hurt by false accusations.
@happyflower251, my deepest sympathies for your loss.
I never lost who I was. And in the end I was discarded with extreme venom. One thing I remember he said was, "You're stronger than me". And I didn't appreciate that statement until much later. After I learned about Narcissistic Abuse.
I’ve had 2 narcissists tell me I was “strong”… and then they continued on trying to make me look weak and worse than them. Very odd behaviour to wrap my head around. But yes, we are stronger than they are.
Being myself is sufficient, necessary AND an essential act of gratitude for the simple gift of being alive.
Narc free livin, will be a dream come true. Long live empathy and freedom! Happy New Year, one and all 😇
It's essential to stay stable. They take more advantage of it when you become vulnerable. 😨 Stay safe. 🙂⛑
Absolutely. If we can just get over each momentary bump with no reaction, we win. It takes practice. Keep going and keep coming back here for support. ❤
@@tbunnyshy1 Yes. Win without fighting. ✌ Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! This is brilliant. I listened many times. My life has transformed in the last few weeks having watched your videos. Encounters with my ex bf have been getting better. I make the choice for my health and sanity to care more about what is going on inside me instead of trying to figure out the universe he's living in. I see so many people in my past I could have dealt with better if I knew what I know now. Many thanks.❤
Exactly what I have done recently. Look at the psychology of the narcissist history and things become quite clear as to the reason for the toxic behavior. Then you get clarity and can stay on your own path while minimizing conflict. The narcissist won't like this (they are in denial and refuse to address past trauma) you no longer will be triggered by their misrepresentation. Look at it like Fletch just laugh at the absurdity, don't carry the toxic weight of the Gaslight Game.
The further away you get, you may even be able to laugh at their pathetic behaviour instead of being intimidated.
Described my ex husband perfectly. Thank you for your clear steps to heal and not believing what he says I am and the others that believe him, including my kids who have been brainwashed by their dad that I am the problem and ruined the family. Thank you! Your videos are so helpful and I am thankful for your insight, reassuring voice and words of wisdom.
Thank you Dr. C. My NYE was spent listening to how inadequate I am and unaccomplished. I'd be a better person if I just listen to him and follow his directives to the letter. Apologize for not being a better person for him. I'm working on my plan of escape.
I wish you the best.
I’ve been listening to the same exact speech for the last few days now. I’m just such a horrible person, I lie, I manipulate, yet he wants to be with me! Go figure.
I don't have anything to add to the already wise comments other than I wish Dr.C, his family, Gus, and Team Healthy a peaceful new year ❤
Thanks, Amanda!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Seriously, I wouldn't be doing as well as what I am without this community and my other pals.
Much gratitude, thank you 🙏
@@amandaliverpool3374It seems this time of year, it gets worse. We sense the loss deeply. We thrive on community. They count on that. So, we find community elsewhere. Or we create it. I’m gll lol ad to be a part of yours.
Basically everywhere a narc goes...Various forms of instability, chaos, & unnecessary drama follows them.They're like a 🌪️ of dysfunction that turns people's lives upside down😬.
Education is so important. We are often so unaware of what is going on around us. I thought it was strange that she abused me but I loved her. The trouble is that she never really loved me and I was her punching bag for her childhood troubles and I had to take it all in silence.
Never talk to a narcissist. Get them to write things down. They can’t be trusted.
This post is very helpful. I don't think he, (my covert narcissist) could be more cruel than he already has been. I'm in the "discard" phase. Videos like this help me to understand, intellectually and emotionally, what is really happening. I experience PTSD which keeps me in survival mode, and highly reactive, which is his goal.
After 56 years, in and out of this relationship, I now see his super power - destabilization. He's been doing this to me since I was 12 and he was 21 - The power imbalance has made this extra challenging.
He's only satisfied when I'm broken. He can only do that if I allow it. No more. I'm working with a therapist to develop exit strategies, and become financially independent.
He can only hurt me if I allow it.
Wishing you peace and joy this year as you move through your process! It’s never too late to start. There was a placard I saw, “your opinion of me is none of my business “. Very poignant!
You are stronger than you know ❤😊
Being me is a necessity. I have gained so much knowledge from your programs and understood the reality to this ever challenging behaviours of individuals. I have learned to be open minded and been aware of the severe consequences I can be faced with. I realise that empathy does not solve this problem anymore. Thank you for your ongoing support as this has made me feel wholesome once again . God bless you. ❤.
I'm still learning who I am, feel more confident but also more lonely. The narc is still around, quite useful as I'm still seeing all those things I didn't see before and learning just how I managed to get myself here and allow myself to remain here.
Wrote out my New Year's resolution to continue learning and growth. Wishing all of Team Healthy the best in 2024 and beyond 💜🐾
Same to you 🌹
Brilliant! 🌟 Thank you for being part of our journey, Dr C!.
So pleased!
I HAVE found the stabilizing factor and its all because of you Dr Carter. Your videos and podcasts are life saving...thank you from the bottom of my heart!
After gaining knowledge to deal with narcissism, I can look at myself calmly enough to see I may have some high functioning autism traits. I'm ok with that.
They will take advanced of the victims who are
More vulnerable. I have CPTSD and am a magic for narcissistic
Advantage
A lot of times CPTSD could feel like autism. Have you possibly considered this?
If concerned see at least one reputable psychiatrist or psychologist. But afaik, only a psychiatrist can prescribe medication.
@@jadegreen1554I thought I was on the spectrum but it is CPTSD. Working through things that triggers helps a lot. I am not there yet but on the way
Welcome 2024 🤗
Happy New Year to everyone!!!
May the New Year be filled with
Love
Peace
Healthiness
Wisdom
Dignity
Respect
Civility
Empathy
May you always find a hand to hold you when you are struggeling.
May you always find a light to lighten up your soul, when it seems dark from the inside.
May you always find a connection to your inner strength when life is challenging.
Best wishes to everyone and thanks to all of Team Healthy and welcome to the new ones!!!
P.S.: What are your wishes? Please feel free to add more wishes 😊
and Empathy
@@dsaylor36 Thanks, Dsaylor. I will add it to the list. (For me love already includes empathy.)
Happy new year 🌞
Awe Happy New Year Roxy 🤗❤️🕊🎊
@@yukio_saito Thank you, Yukio 🙏💛🙏
Well, at least for the past few years my narc mom and narc sister have not 'blathered' on at me at all. They completely disowned me...after having defrauded me out of my inheritance and my rights as an executor of my father's estate. Most people think of narcs as overly in your face and interfering. My narcs just go around behind my back trying to destroy me while not even acknowledging I exist.
This is an excellent summation to start the new year. I think I'll write these notes down and carry it with me, when I feel like I'm in a vulnerable circumstance. Thank the Lord for you, Dr. Carter. Many blessings.
Thanks Dr C! And thanks to others in this section for your insightful comments.
Two particular points: the grief of losing the relationship (more accurately the hopes you had), and the anger which feels like a grudge (shame), and is actually a boundary (something we can feel really uncomfortable about in aftermath of living with these dynamics). Points i will ponder. Appreciate those prompts.
May all have a day filled with comfort and simple delights. Peace, friends.
Thank you! Two days ago I went to bed desperate because of the abuse my n. husband of 23 years is still inflicting on me and my kids. I found some peace in the determination to find inside me and nurturing the small steam of identity that survived all the abuse. Your video gave the strength and reassurance. I will survive!
Im learning sooo much from you Dr Carter!! Life with my narcissistic husband is so much better. Ive become a gray rock. Distancing myself as much as I can.
NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES are life saving. Cant hear his uninvited obnoxious uninvited opinions when Im watching tv. Having seperate bedrooms is so helpful as he isolates himself in it 70% of the time. And all the other tools is helpful. Until I decide if I need to leave. My home is important to me. So for now it's day by day and learning more n more each day. Im becoming stronger in this trial.
Keep leaning forward, and I'm pleased to be on the path with you!
What about if you have an entire family of narcissists and you are the odd one out? You are the scapegoat.
No contact 😊
I call it a nest of Narcissists
Maybe, if possible, and I think time will make it easier, and that is to personally take most, if not all emotion out of each situation. Make sure you are safe, and just internally rationalize the characteristic the narcissist is portraying. Like, 'oh you are trying to gaslight now and I know it' or 'oh, so now you are going down the guilt trail and I know it', or 'oh, so now you are over exaggerating sickness to get sympathy and I know it'. I know this has helped my emotional state to realize that it's not me causing issues, it's the narcissist in my life. And that makes my 42 year marriage so much easier to understand.
So encouraging. We can go on to recover and live a better life without these energy-draining bullies.
God bless you Dr. Carter
Thank you.
run, run and keep running. best to communicate via attorney only. YES no contact for me was the only way, however, they still have my son, so she uses him to destroy me as well. Its a nightmare.
When you are getting to know a narcissist, they encourage you to reveal your worst mistakes you've made, and secrets of your past. NEVER fall for this. Later on, as they consider you under their thumb, they will always use the information you gave them thinking they are your friend, against you. As you comment on their odd behavior, they will only be too willing to throw up in your face those mistakes you shared with them. It is their way of undermining you and keeping you under their control.
Definitely, it's wise to reveal personal matters slowly. Narcissists are data gatherers.
No matter where you move to, you will encounter narcissists. When one is your neighbor and also attends your church, you can't always get away from them, but you can go yellow rock with them--societally polite, and nothing more.
Very good message for me today. I have been able to find a therapist. Still dealing with the smear campaign but am getting stronger… and it’s ok not caring about what they think… thanks Doc!
This was freeing and healing, like a breath of fresh air. Thank you and Happy New Year.
Such good advice. Thank you. My friend from college, who turned out to be a narcissist, sent me a birthday card. After I suspected her of being a narcissist and cut ties with her, she sends me a birthday card saying she wishes me well. And that she will take me back as a friend! I don't want her back as a friend. They truly cannot see themselves.
If there is any agreement, caveats ensue.
So true.
My experience looking back at a mimimum is: like paying to go see a Movie....with popcornand Coke in hand the movie starts off pretty good....but then doesn't seem to flow with the story. Chaos, crazy acting out, strange behaviors ect.
The sad part is you realize you are vested and hate to throw it all away so you endure. What a waste. But a great lesson learned Dr. C. Pick your relationships carefully.. just like the movies !!
Movies are not personal..bad..relationships leave you with a Limp. Thanks Dr. C.
btw/ Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( presenter- Awareness- mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : btw: so many, many, many thanks 😊
Very helpful thank you. I've moved out but still have to maintain some contact as our 16 year old daughter lives with her.
Going through the painful process of asset division now.
Another one of Dr. C's videos I've bookmarked to watch - and listen to - repeatedly.
It breaks my heart how many of us had good hearts loved these monters
Fortunately, this year I will be able to move forward from narcissistic abuse. This advice will help with healing. Many thanks.
Thank you!!!! This was a blessing and perfect timing to hear it today. 🙏🏼❤️
yes the problem WAS that I was still me in basic ways, not fully me at all, but...
This was awesome! 🎉🎊 Thank you Dr. C.! Happy New year to you and all of Team Healthy. You guys ROCK! 😎🎸🎉🤗❤️🎊
tbunnyshy1 Happy and prosperous new year !
Thank you, and happy new year!
All the very best to you ❤️🫂
If only the family court judges got it
I've actually talked with some judges, and one judge understood it well, then reminded me reluctantly that narcissism is not against the law.
@@SurvivingNarcissismIt actually is NOT in the best interest of a child’s well being either. Lying in a court of law and perjury ARE against the law fyi.
@@markjayw666 that is how naive about the consequences of the abuse and trauma they left behind and that should be prosecuted as a crime.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Abuse is against the law, assault is against the law. Stealing is against the law.
@@misseskval2686 The problem with the justice system, regarding false reporting is that you must be charged. So let me get this straight? A Sociopath makes up a lie that someone attempted to murder them, yet they do not have a scratch. Yet if the prosecutors do not believe the Sociopath, they face no consequences and can just do it again? 🤔
THank you, all you've explained means so much.
Glad it was helpful!
So so powerful!!!! Know you are!! Bring activity into your life!! Support group that love and pray for you including my Pastor who's well versed. Im so empowered with knowledge and starting to fill great joy!!!!
Thank you Dr Carter!!!! God bless you!!
This was another extremely helpful video! Thank you so much for posting these videos on TH-cam!
This was so healing and helpful…I think healing from interactions with narcissist people is such a layered, heavy, nuanced thing to experience…super hepatitis
btw/ Media people; thank you 🙏: again: thank you 🙏
Thanks, Michelle!
What a nice gentleman
I had many narcissistic family members. I had to walk away from them all.
This channel has been instrumental in helping me heal and truly rebuild myself. Team Healthy all the way baby!
Thank you as always for your wonderful healing ❤
FWIW- wishing you & yours a wonderful 😮day
I just wrote a for me very serious issue. And now I have a short joke:
Dr.Carter, shall I come over to your place so I take Gus out, outside for a walk, because I think otherwise he is not coming from the couch...EVER!😅
Literally, I just came in from giving Gus a walk!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism yeah right...🤪
😅😅😅Funny Dr.Les. and now Gus is tired from walking or...your talking😅🤪🤪
Yes. Im looking forward to my own project. In the works...
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this today. God bless and Happy New Year. 🙂
Thank you so much for putting words on common and difficult internal thought behaviors. What a gift!
👍 I agree😊
Dr C is a blessing from above
Happy New Year Dr. Les Carter and Gus! This is such a treat, my birthday is Jan. 12th and all your postings are very applicable to my life.
Thanks, Joanna! 10 days and counting!
Southeastern Texas: USA 🇺🇸: btw: Sincere Greetings 🫂: Thought 💭 and as well wishing you, your family and Gus { a regular dog} a Happy New Year 🎆!!!!
Always love your videos… brings me so much comfort and a feeling of safety when I listen! Very grateful ❤
Continuation of my Covert's Covertism daggers & to strengthen to adjust, avoid & adhere to my inner walk aways ..... ☮️✌️
Always great stuff... I think my mantra for this year is going to be.. Let Go.. I think what you say fits this..
Wow, you have made me realize that in terms of defining any Ideal thing I might wish to have in my life... I do it in terms of, "Well, it shouldn't be ___, ___ or ___." And I am downright terrible at "It SHOULD be like this: ___, ___ & ___." This abuse has forced our passive voice into being our default mode of expression. UGH I am SICK of this!! TY for all u do, Dr. Carter - & HNY! 💙❣️
Love you Dr C, thanks for everything you do for us, including having us feel we are not alone in this journey, and that makes me feel so much better. ❤
Thanks Michelle.
Thanks for sharing. God bless. The joy of the LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH. AMEN. 💜💜💜
Happy 2024 Dr C, I wish you the best and I'll stay in touch with your content and keep learning as much as possible from your talks
thankyou , for your insights and information ..... its what i need to hear and i am grateful
Thank you…I am a doer of this
My wife and I were sitting on the couch and she was teasing me by poking my ear with her licked finger, giggling and eventually asking me why I wasn't responding. I said that I was just contemplating the better alternatives here on Team Healthy.
She burst out laughing, saying "I blame Carter."
That made my day, Darryn! BTW, I used to have an uncle who did that to me as a kid. He called it the wet Willie.
Thank you so much Dr.C and Amen 🙏
Thank you for this precious and clear guide in the midst of the confusion that can often still take hold on an emotional level. Having mental clarity on "what to do" is perhaps the minimum, but it is the absolutely necessary minimum. Thank you dr C. 👏 Happy New Year 🌎🌍🌏✨✨✨✨✨
Edit: I have a question (always here with me). .
I'm thinking on how to write it to communicate what I mean in the best possible way...
.(I mean the translation from Italian into English)