I, as a german, envy the dutch for their exceptional bike infrastructure. Every country should have those high standards when it comes to safety and equality in mobility.
Hi Ava, Learning a language: If people immediatly change to English ask them to speak Dutch as you are learning the language and they help you if they speak Dutch. Most will change back to Dutch.
De brieven van de belastingdienst zijn niet in het Nederlands.. het lijkt op Nederlands, maar ik woon hier al m'n hele leven en ik begrijp ze ook niet 😉
12:12 The train sitting sequence is so true haha. Here is a tip: if person 3 arrives to the 4 seats you move over to seat 3 instead of letting person 3 sit there and now you have seat two and that person will go into your seat 2. Also for the 2 sit benches there is also the unwritten rule that you will not sit next to someone unless the entire train is full. And if people start leaving the train and new 2 sits come free and you sit next to someone you can move seats so you're no longer next to someone.
That third-person slide tip is gold! And what really struck me was that this whole system emerges from everybody's need for personal space and we don't even notice until someone like Ava points it out 😅
This is proper Dutch train etiquette. Nobody will punish you if you don't abide by these unwritten rules, but everybody will look at you like you've done something wrong...
Ik heb deze ervaring echt niet. Als er niemand zit ga ik altijd aan het middenpad zitten. Maar inderdaad, als er al iemand zit ga ik er niet tegenover zitten.
Not only in trains and buses, there are seating rules. Even in waiting rooms in hospitals, doctor practices, trainstaitons, etc. It is common that the first person can sit wherever he or she likes. As for the second person it is usual to choose a seat as far as possible from the first person So the third person has to sit somewhere in between. Depending on the amount of seats the room fills this way with people. Whatever you do, do not ever step into a waiting area and take a seat directly next to someone else while there are seats free across the room. You can sit directly next to another person if all the other seats are taken
Hoi Ava! Nooit over nagedacht hoe mensen in de trein gaan zitten, maar het klopt wel! Supergrappig! En het weer.... zelfs ik begin erover te mopperen. Het wordt vast beter! En mocht het morgen weer regenen... dan hebben we meer tijd voor leuke youtubefilmpjes!
Ik weet neit of dit perse een regel is of dat mensen in een invididualistisch land vooral niet dicht bij elkaar gaan zitten. Zefls op een bankje buiten zitten 2 mensen vaak in de uithoeken. Gewoon op zijn Nederlands 'elkaar met rust laten' '
As the first born of post war Dutch immigrants to Canada I have the privilege to have both Dutch as a first language and a sort of yearning for the lost home land transmitted from parents and experienced as something like the post summer camp letdown after long visits with family as a child. One of the cultural differences I notice now as an adult is the difference in personal space. In the 'adult summer camp' environment of a sailing charter out of Harlingen with 25 onboard (a highly recommended experience) , I noticed experienced that physical closeness while sitting and talking was part of the 'gezellig' atmosphere. I really miss that. In my group of friends here we are all so reserved, hugs and even handshakes are rare and we rarely sit close enough that arms touch. Am I simply mourning my youth? or do you also notice a difference in physical closeness in friends groups? I realize that the pandemic and Corona Times has also pushed people apart now. Even 'Three Kisses' has been lost to a large extent. Thanks for your thought provoking sharing. PS Others reading this - Take a look at the 'Not Just Bikes' Channel.
Don't worry, it was probably just a thing that happens aboard ships with alcohol present, the Dutch are pretty reserved and individual themselves. Nothing different from Canadians! But all of us long for close contact, it's in our genome to get close. Like I'm longing to get close to you, just because you are from Dutch heritage. Amazing. I LOVE Canada! THREE kisses from a Dutch guy!
Njb promotes good issues but is a dumbass who thinks that his way is the only right answer. Nobody wants to be outside, walking, waiting, or driving in the winter months in my city because you’re freezing cold at a 25 Fahrenheit air temperature with the wind (we’re talking about huge gusts that can cause frostbite within 15 minutes) making you even more miserable. The whole cars are loud not the city is also a very dumb thing he said. The idiot only needed to look up how sound works and would realize what he said was dumb. I literally walked about 150 meters away from a traffic jam not hearing anything because of building materials and air not transferring sound waves well. His whole point about Americans reminiscing in college was stupid because of the well known phenomenon of the reminiscing period. I find it ironic that he claims that us was propagandized which is true, yet he willfully or ignorantly does it too.
@@tonyoffermans3676 It's not really my experience growing up in the Netherlands. We used to have sort of a drinkkeet, an old trailer behind my mates house where we'd hang out. It wasn't very roomy so you were always touching someone and everyone was genuinely okay with that. Taking taxi-buses or buses towards de discotheek where similar. Football(soccer) was similar. But I've grown up in a small town where everyone knew everyone so maybe that makes for a different vibe.
Hallo Ava, Ik ben 100% Nederlands, maar ik realiseer me heel erg goed in wat voor fijn landje we wonen, ook al mopperen heel veel Nederlanders over het weer en de regering en de vele regeltjes die er zijn. Geen enkel land is helemaal perfect. En wat betreft het weer en de vele regen: dat is voor "ons" ook wennen, het is de laatste jaren of heel erg droog of heel erg nat, en er is ook steeds een groter verschil tussen warm en koud. Het klimaat wat vroeger ongeveer 150 km ten zuiden van Parijs was, hebben we nu hier. Het weer gaat er dus niet op vooruit. Ohhh en de koffie... daarvan horen wij als Nederlanders dat de koffie hier heel erg lekker is, alleen niet bij Star Bucks! Maar dat is geen Nederlandse koffie, ga voor het bekende super Nederlandse Merk: Douwe Egberts. En dan is het museum in Joure, Friesland, waar alles begonnen is, heel erg leuk om naar toe te gaan! En geniet verder van alles wat zo lekker Nederlands is! Groet Remke Uit Twente.
Another great video. I always look forward to the next one! There is a thought experiment that is sometimes explained in school that is more or less an analogue of your observation about the seating arrangements in a train coupe. It goes as follows: Consider the waiting room of a doctor's practice. Now depending on the actual arrangement of the seats in the waiting room, the details may differ of course, but the process remains the same. * The first person to enter will occupy the seat farthest from the doctor's office door. * The second person to enter will try and occupy the seat that is as far from the first person's seat as possible, but also as far from the office door as possible * The third person will try and occupy the next farthest spot in the same manner. * And so forth, until all seats are occupied. Now obviously, these rules are not set in stone, and variations do occur, but generally speaking this is how a doctor's (or other practicioner's) waiting room fills. As for Dutch pronunciation, the 'ui' diphtong is especially hard to pronounce for non-native speakers. I always tell people that they should pronounce it more or less like a Scotsman would pronounce the 'ou' in house. It's not a perfect match, but it comes pretty close.
For an American from a northern state (Minnesota in my case) the best advice I've seen is to pronounce Dutch 'ui' like Canadians say the 'ou' in 'about'. After watching Learning Dutch with Kim videos (IMO excellent for beginners like me) I think it's good advice for Americans learning Dutch. If you don't know how Canadians pronounce 'about', watch pro hockey or watch Letterkeny. Now that I have Dutch 'ui' mastered there's only the small problem of 'g' and 'sch', and then all the vocabulary and grammar.
Love reading comments right??? Hopefully you read this comment? First glad to have you and thank you for loving my/your new country😊 Second Happy New Year🎉🎉 i hope that you and your wife had a great and fun New Years Eve?😊 And finally really love your videos keep up the great work Ava👍 En nog een prettige dag toegewenst.
I am a Dutch person of 61 years old and I have never experienced as much rain as now in those 61 years. A few years ago there was also a unique period from several months without any rain. I guess it is a part of the climate change and I hope it will not happen to often.
Zuid en Zout sound different. There is a cheat code for the train. When you see the 3rd person is coming, you switch over to the window seat(3) and "offer" them your seat (2).
Love your perspective. Your channel is kind of unique on TH-cam as you are sharing with us the true full immersion experience that very few Americans will ever have, with a Dutch spouse. I was born and raised in NL however have lived in CA since 1988. Your observations are so spot on and very interesting. Very few Dutch will ever realize how odd some of these habits really are.
Hey Ava, I loved this video. It is authentic and not just to fill another video. It is true we Dutchies like to complain a lot 🙂 But you know.. when you are raised in a system that provides such a lot of comfort this is not special anymore. And when we travel we are pressed with the nose in the "shit" Yes the weather is terrible this part of year but also this creates a degree of cosiness (to sit inside and hear the rain ticking on the roof and/.or windows. I for instance create more cosiness during this time of year. Light some candles, make a cup of coffee with some honey and a drip of alcohol 🙂 Maybe your Dutch will never be perfect but then again: You are you and you have talents some one else does not have. Happy New Year and I wish you all the best in 2024 !
Dat zeuren kan er ook mee temaken hebben dat er nog maar weinig goed is uitgewerkt, zodat vanalles net niet loopt... Bovendien is 'links' gelijker dan de rest. (Waarom zijn de blokkeerfriesen en daarna de boeren wel veroordeeld voor resp. snelweg blokkades en langzaam rijden acties en XR en consorten nieteens genoteerd?) Ik moet dagelijks met de trein en er zijn regelmatig periodes waar die er minimaal eens in de week uit ligt. Er is geen Nederlandstalig universitair onderwijs. 90% van de cultuursubsidies gaan naar de randstad, waar maar ⅓ van de bevolking woont. Bij ons zijn er op 45.000 inwoners maar 8 agenten en 4 boa's, geen wonder dat de ruiten er op het station sneller uit dan in gaan! Er zijn zo veel dingen die niet lopen, dus ook genoeg redenen om te klagen.
Zeuren is een nono voor social butterflies die in hun eigen kont leven. Voor andere is het praten over de realiteit, is erg belangrijk om dat gewoon te kunnen doen. Maar als je pussy bent doe je mee en laat je alles gebeuren en praat je alleen maar over neppe shit. Dat is juist wat een ziek persoon doet, niet willen praten over de wereld, alleen maar over de neppe samenleving van starbucks en lachen, ik ook leuk, maar niet altijd, is meer een vrouwen ding om in onzin te leven.
Wil niet zegge dat het allemaal jou fout is, maar je ziet er niet gezond uit, niet mentaal of fysiek, met een rare uitdrukking in je gezicht, doe je toch echt zelf, je kan kiezen om in de realiteit te gaan leven of nooit een leuke vrouw te kunnen vangen.
@@Treinbouwer precies we zijn misschien wel een van de beste landen ter wereld om in te leven maar dat betekent niet dat alles perfect of zelfs maar goed is bij ons. er is genoeg in Nederland wat niet klopt of (veel) beter kan (en moet), en dus is het goed dat we klagen. als we niet klagen weten we niet waar nog aan gewerkt moet worden, en stoppen we met verbeteren.
Even for Dutch people the tax letters are an enigma sometimes. Also my phone navigation makes a total mess of the pronounciation of street names, very hilarious. And the fun part is you can't ever predict how it will mess up the next street, to beyond recognizable.
I'm Dutch I haven't traveled with public transport for 45 years or so, but I can see why You would not go and sit direct next or opposite a stranger. I think it has to do with personal space.
Hi Ava, Happy New Year! I love how good your Dutch pronunciation is: "those love letters from the Belastingdienst"... that sounded so natural! Well done. I'm one flabbergasted original Dutchman. I had no idea about the seating arrangement in trains and some buses. Even If I'm the second person in the booth, I'll still just sit at the window and I've never been aware that this was not done! And even though I know now, if I ever go on a trip by train again, I will still not comply to that 'norm'.
@@AJansenNL Yeah, I know *now*, because Ava already said something to that effect. But that doesn't change the facts that: 1) I didn't know it, 2) my legs aren't that long, and 3) I would still offend people by getting the window seat. 😁--- Because I'm just not comfortable sitting at the aisle, where people are constantly passing through... 😑
@@tonyoffermans3676 Yeah, THAT would be the real test, wouldn't it? In een brUIne trUI een broodje EI met UI eten en daarna een SCHeve SCHaats rIJden over een naCHt IJs.
I love your videos. As Dutch it’s good to see that this country is not so bad. Love your openness and views about us a Dutch. Keep them coming. Love them and fun o watch. And the weather. Well last months you had a bad time. And now a bit cold. You can’t have it all 😊
The seating arrangement works naturally much the same way in Sweden. First person takes whatever place she/he want(normally a window seat in the direction the train are going). Second person take the seat diagonally, to sit as far away from person one as possible. Third person, have to sit next to someone so can chose freely between the two spots left (so will most likely take the other window seat). Never ever tough about it in my 50 years, it just a given that to keep the distance to a stranger you sitting close to is way higher prioritized than to get a window seat. It is just the way things are.
I also want to add that Dutch people are generally tall (not sure about the Swedish). So on the one hand we don't mind when you're going to sit exactly opposite, but it's just more practical to pick a diagonal seat and leave some space for our long legs. ;)
The unwritten rule about where to sit in the train is spot on. Basically, we find it akward to sit closer to each other than necessary. Though, you missed something about the rule. Typically, the third and fourth seat only get occupied if there are no other places left where the first or second has not been taken yet.
als je een langere treinreis maakt, dus ook van amsterdam centraal naar Utrecht centraal, kun je het ook gewoon even vragen! Daardoor zal het meestal geen probleem zijn, doordat je de ruimte van de ander daarmee erkent en respecteerd! (denk ik!)
@@DutchAmericano als je een langere treinreis maakt, dus ook van amsterdam centraal naar Utrecht centraal, kun je het ook gewoon even vragen! Daardoor zal het meestal geen probleem zijn, doordat je de ruimte van de ander daarmee erkent en respecteerd! (denk ik!)
I love that so many of your experiences you share are exactly what I've experienced as well. I'm also an American living in the Netherlands with a Dutch partner. I cackled when you mentioned turning down something to drink at the in-laws. I have done that so often, and still do, and my schoonmoeder is always like "hè?! Níks?!" 😂. I will say both my Dutchie and I disagree with the train seating arrangement. 1 and 2 are for sure correct, but 3 is the open aisle seat (so you don't have to step over someone), and 4 is the poor sukkel who has to crawl over everyone to get the last window seat. He said he would even refuse to take that seat to avoid stepping over someone, but I have no shame lol
I think the train seating is more a case of a lot of tall people wanting to stretch their legs, especially in the 'sprinters' (the white NS trains) which have much less room
Yeah, the amount of rain we have had this fall is somewhat exceptional. We can have some rainy falls but this season is a lot, even for us. Talking about too much water: American coffee 😏 That’s taking an overroasted bean, hang it on on a wire and drip it for a second in hot water 😅 Have you had a ristretto yet? ☺️
I grew up on farms in a Dutch farming community-it was lovely and so good for me. My first wife and I went to The Netherlands in 1975 and it was like coming home. Cheers from the Pacific West Coast of Canada.
Ava, een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar, ook voor jouw vrouw ! Now, I'll continue in English so the international community can understand it too.. About the weather in Fall and Winter, you mentioned that it's so dark.. That's easily explained. The Netherlands is quite a bit more to the north ( a dusy for Santa ) than the USA, so in Fall and Winter we get less sunshine. Oh, and if you might meet me in the train, feel free to take the Windowseat opposite to me..
Exactly. For reference, Amsterdam if transposed on the American continent would be mid way between Calgary, CA and Edmonton, CA. Day light length in Amsterdam differs around nine full hours between midsummer and midwinter.
Always fun to hear your observations! Regarding the window seat; if you were the 2nd person and sat down diagonally, you can then scoot over to the window when someone joins the 4 seater!
The 3rd person doesn't get the window seat, because to access it, they would have to squeeze between the legs of person 1 and 2. The 3rd person takes the aisle seat next to the 1st person. When a 4th person arrives the 2nd person scoots over to the window seat to make room.
Don't worry as a Dutch I know most Dutch don't know the word alas. Even better most of them have never ever heard of it. The train thing long story short that's how we'd like to keep a distance to the other provided all four are strangers. Like I don't want to instantly sit right in front of someone I don't know for God knows how long if I was commuter number two. Hell no. So diagonal from the other. We hebben dan de stille hoop dat het zo de hele treinreis blijft. Sitting so close eye to eye is al tot daaraan toe 😅 Though we accept sitting in front of commuter number four just fine. At that point nobody ain't going nowhere, right? (..) Btw love the cat with his acknowledging body language listening and approving all what you're saying 😊
Yes I understand what you mean about never being quite as fluid in Dutch as in English. I have it the other way round, I grew up Dutch then migrated to Australia when I was 14 and after almost 60 years here I still sometimes stumble or can't find the correct word quickly. A few days ago my younger sister who was a teacher said I've always pronounced 'again' wrong, we had a laugh about it and I daresay I'll continue to get it wrong. Also people still ask where are you from because of a slight accent, last time I visited the Netherlands people thought I was American and would answer me in English! So I don't quite fit in either country now and that's fine by me, I'm glad to have lived in both.
Hoi Ava, being Dutch made it very interesting to see your video. Especially about the sitting order in the Dutch trains😂 I never thought about it, but when you mentioned it, I could only confirm it😂
As a Dutch person, I do appreciate the freedom, safety and general living conditions in our country to the fullest. But you are very right to point them out once again. Too many people over here take them for granted.
Haha, die trein-zit volgorde 😂. Het klopt inderdaad. Ik heb wel een tip: als je diagonaal moest gaan zitten, schuif dan op naar het raam als het drukker wordt en iemand bij het raam wil gaan zitten . Win-win, want dan zit je bij het raam EN je bent zo beleefd om op te schuiven en het de nieuwkomer gemakkelijk te maken want hij hoeft niet over je heen te stappen.
Heel herkenbaar, en er zijn meer reacties van Nederlanders op deze video waarin dit gezegd wordt. Dat is dus kennelijk onderdeel van de ongeschreven spelregels: als het drukker wordt kun je van plek 2 naar 3 opschuiven. Zo lijk je èn beleefd èn je krijgt alsnog je zin.
Don’t worry about your English accent. When you are speaking Dutch. I am from Nijmegen in the south. I now live in the east and people immediately hear that I am not local because of my southern soft ‘g’. But it never causes problems.
@@henkvandervossen6616 Weermensen bedoelen met het oosten doorgaans Twente en de Achterhoek. Noord en MiddenLimburg noemt men meestal zuidoost. In mijn jeugd heette de busmaatschappij, die tot Nijmegen reed “De Zuidooster”
@Ava, for your train seating problem (it indeed does make more sense when u think of (leg) space as a commodity), when u are number 2 and want a 'window seat', just scoot over when number 3 asks (they should normally ask unless the train is jampacked full) for his or her seat. Then number 3 can more easily plumb his behind in a seat and u get a window :D.
Helemaal gelijk, we zouden wat meer trots mogen zijn op wat we hebben. Maar dat zijn we stiekem ook wel. We zijn een trots volk en vieren graag onze overwinningen. We zijn best competitief. Goed dat je nog een keer benadrukt dat we wat blijer mogen zijn met ons mooie land.
I am so happy with immigrants like Ava! Then to think that in countries like Russia she could be persecuted for openly being gay. I really wonder if we will be able to defend a free and open society like we have now in the Netherlands.
About the seating order in the trains: it is possible to break those rules, especially if it is busy. You can sit down in the Window seat and shift over when the train departs and it is clear no-one will take the isle seat, and then shift back to the window seat when more people enter the train. I know I do. Because it makes it easier for the third person to be seated, not having to move over someone's legs.
The train seating is so true! I am a rulebreaker though, i dont like sitting by the window so i always take the aisle seat and make person 2 get the window. I think its a combination of the window seats being considered bettr and wanting to give as much personal space as possible
Hey Ava, Yes in our busy little lives we (the Dutch) are probably not aware of the fact that things can be very different abroad then they are right here in our own country. With the only exception of maybe bad experiences abroad, we have accepted the things the way they are here in The Netherlands as being the norm of how things should be in a country or any country across the globe, which for obvious reasons they are not. So we happily live our lives in The Netherlands, complaining about things that need change and the weather. Boy is it nasty weather....
Ah, and about the train: to me it is not comfortable to sit directly opposite the other(and first) person at the window because we would be too much in our own space. That's why you go to sit in a diagonal fashion. Knees might touch (we're build in a to long fashion) and this is the last thing you'd want. So this is how the boter-kaas-en-eieren is build up for me concerning seats in the train.
Yeah it is a personal space thing. Same reason why you take a corner in an elevator and not go stand right next to the other person. My biggest peeve is standing in line (in the supermarket or wherever) and someone comes stand behind you close enough for them to hang their dick in your back pocket. That's not cool! back off!
I agree 100% with the train seat system and that's also how I would expect people to sit in the US. Usually people with larger parties sit in those seats, but if you're a single that's exactly how I would expect it to work.
Your videos are not only informative and enjoyable, but refreshing. I watch a lot of "living in the Netherlands" videos, because I love the Netherlands; often going out of my way to fly into Schiphol for the opportunity to dream about one day living in Amsterdam. What is wonderful about your videos is how matter of fact you are about both the United States and the Netherlands. You simply state you opinion and do not go out of you way to speak ill of the United States or Americans. Yes, we Americans have many issues, but it is also thanks to the business and economic environment of the United States that I have opportunity to enjoy your videos. Thanks for the content!
Thank you for the last part! It’s my reason to watch your videos. Open your eyes, open your mind. Only when you travel, you feel grateful for the things we take for granted here.❤
I'm an American (ex) living now going on 22 years in Amsterdam with my Dutch husband. My Dutch has become in that time quite fluent and people STILL answer me in English. Whereupon my standard answers are the following (these I've developed over the years...) 1: Kom nou, mijn Nederlands is waarschijnlijk net so slecht als jouw Engels. (Come on, my Dutch is probably just as bad as your English.) 2: Sorry, maar heb ik geen Nederlands gebruikt? (Excuse me, but did I not speak a word of Dutch?) 3: Ik was onder de indruk dat ik Nederlands heb gesproken. (I was under the impression that I spoke Dutch.) For me, they all work like a charm! At any rate, I really enjoy your channel!
or...you learn a few French or German or Danish or any other language lines and say in those "excuse me I don't speak English" ;) with French and German you can encounter some multilinguals though...
Wow, those standard answers of yours are really rude (and I am Dutch, so I am used to directness). The first one is a plain insult and the other two are quite passive agressive. Why not say something like: "Ik wil graag mijn Nederlands oefenen. Kunnen we Nederlands spreken met elkaar?" (I'd like to practice my Dutch. Can we speak Dutch?) That will prevent you from antagonizing people.
@@1234eva4321 But don't you also find it rude to ignore a basic courtesy of communication? Also (and I realize that I am defensive here) I am not 'practicing'' my Dutch. Anyway, I've lived here quite happily for 22 years and I love love The Netherlands with all my heart!
@@allansegall4502 That depends on what courtesy you mean. I think most Dutch people switch to English as a courtesy when they realize someone is not a native speaker. They want to make communication easier, however misplaced that may be. I understand you do not want to practice your Dutch, I mentioned it because it is an easy and non confrontational way to get what you want. True fluency in another language is very hard to achieve. From what I read, your Dutch is good, but I can immediately see it is not your first language, as I am sure you can deduct from my English. I might make the mistake of switching to English when talking to you in person as well. The sentences you mentioned would annoy me and I would end the conversation first chance I got. The practice excuse would make me think about what I was doing, I would probably say sorry for changing to English and I would be more than willing to continu in Dutch. Anyway, I am happy you enjoy the Netherlands so much and wish you all the best!
The train thing is not about leg space, it's about social zones. If you're sitting right in front of someone when there's room to not do so, you're choosing a more intimate spot. You're being overly familiar with a stranger. It's as weird as sitting right next to someone on a bench when there's room for several people. Now if there's no other spot available you're not being weird, just forced to be practical.
You are correct. In 1981 I traveled almost every day by train from Tilburg to Rotterdam and vice versa because of an additional education. On the morning train, I met the same fellow passengers almost every day. It took a week or two before we had pleasant conversations. This even went so far that when in the course of that year one of this group had forgotten his card belonging to the annual subscription, everyone tried to convince the conductor (who was often the same one) not to issue a fine. This group of 1st class travelling passengers (including senior officials of the Ministry of Defence) formed a close-knit "community". The return journey was completely different, because that meant in Rotterdam to board a partly already filled train (from The Hague).
About the seats: I usually try to follow that rule but if the window seat is in a better condition (cleanliness, damage) than the other one, I will take the window seat.
That is funny, as a Dutch person living long time in Switzerland, they also have the unwritten rule overhere on the train. Windowseat then diagonaly. I like it also for my long Dutch legs, but even the shorter Swiss like it that way.
As a Dutch person, I am not so aware of what you experience as the 'unwritten rules' you mention. For example, I think the train is more convenient because you sit diagonally due to the lack of space between the legs. Just like in our small country, 'almost' everything is very small. So also the normal coffee cups, but yes, it is real coffee, and without by-products. 😉
The thing about these unwritten rules is that most Dutch people don’t even know about them, unless you specifically point them out. It is just ingrained into our culture and understanding of the world/country around us. Your example with the train seats is just something everyone knows and follows, no one questions it. Even if a Dutch person has never travelled by train before, they would still know somehow.
Exactly these everybody knows rules are the number one cause of culture shock. Your place has other or no rules for that and you just can’t understand what’s going on
Thank you for your videos Ava, it gives me some insight about how my lovely lady might feel. She moved from Poland to NL with her daughter to live together with me. I recognized lots of the issues you where talking about. 8 years have passed by now and im very proud of hoe she did in general. Within one year she got her nederlands staatsexamen 2 and our daughter was best in class in Dutch language.. I hope that you still enjoy life in Utrecht together with your wife. Utrecht is awesome, i did 2 studies there that i really enjoyed. I would like to see some updates about how you are doing 😊
Pro tip on the train seating thing. When the third person makes the move to come sit. Scoot over quickly and make it easier for them to sit while you get the window sit. Win win for everyone.
As an American than happened to fall in love with the Netherlands (I've only been there twice), the second time I was there, I got enough courage to try and speak Dutch at a shop in Amsterdam. I was very hesitant, but I asked one of the workers a question in Dutch (in my very American accent) and they responded in Dutch (which I surprisingly understood). I'm still working on my Dutch (luckily, I have a good friend there to help) but hope to return soon even more confident than I was before.
Hi Ava. Happy New Year. Don't worry about your Dutch. Just keep on learning. I am a Dutchie and sometimes even I learn a new dutch word. Not as often as it can happen to you ofcourse. You have an open mind to learning. So don't worry!! Further more your dutch pronunciation sounds excellent. Just keep up the good work
Never noticed the trainseat rule.....but now, in retrospect you're right. I'm Dutch myself but I realy want to learn myself that American midwestern accent.
It is funny, when I as a German hear Dutch, I could follow the words quite good (if they speak slowly), but I almost do not understand Dutch, when I try to read it. I always think, Dutch seems to be the link between German and English.
Frisian (as spoken in the Dutch province of Fryslân) is even closer to English than Dutch. But "standard" Dutch originated as the dialect of Haarlem (where Dutch book-printing originates), and "standard" German originated as the dialect of Wittenberg (at least according to those in Ostfriesland who call that "Lütters"). In between is Lower Saxon ("Platt"). And in the Dutch province of Limburg, the dialect east of the river Maas may still be "Rheinisch". But that's omitting the other German dialects. There are pitfalls between German and Dutch, and I wish I could pinpoint them. Some of them have to do with the German prefixes "auf-" and "ein-", as they may translate to different Dutch prefixes. By the way, I have "recently" subscribed to the RSS-feed of RTL auf Letzeburgisch. Once I have shifted some vowels and identified some French words, I can (slowly) read it as "Rheinisch" German.
Frysian, and, being in Friesland, makes me think of Scandinavia. The Y looks a lot like the one Danes have, though they pronounce it Uu, as in Utrecht, not Ie as in iets, as they do in Frysk ( pronounced Freesk, or Friesk, in Dutch writing;) Funny , it's opposite for me : I can't hardly understand Scandinavian talking, but reading Norse papers, it's quite easy to see what it's about. Have to check Frysk writing, though :)
So, as a Dutch person I’ve never heard of the seating sequence and I’ve taken the train quite a lot. 😊 So maybe I’ve been doing it wrong so I’ll try to take notice of it next time. After 4 months in Nepal, which has been fantastic, I’ve learned to appreciate how good we have it in the Netherlands. A hot shower for instance or, like you said, the social security in the Netherlands is indeed quite exceptional. Here in Nepal people have to rely on each other which is great but when it comes to elderly care they have to rely on charity and volunteers. I cannot wait to get some Dutch soul food, as an American friend of a friend once called it. Frietje stoof met mayo en een Mexicano xxl met tartaar saus. 😁 a true guilty pleasure which I can only see satisfied in the Netherlands or Belgium. Great vids. I’m learning stuff about my own culture and country I wasn’t even aware of 🤗
You frequently mention the difference with the work culture. It almost sounds like Americans only work themselves "to death", a bit like literally happening in Japan. I would be very interested if you would expand on that now you have some experience working in the Netherlands also. Most Dutch people of course have no experience with working in the US. What culture works better? (pun intended)
Theres more to the train seating arrangement. if the third person want to sit down, the second person can also scootch over to the window as to not create a hassle for the person trying to squeeze by. This is especially true if the first 2 people know each other, but then they usually already take the second window seat right away. However 2 people that know each other, might go diagonally from each other so only 1 has a window seat, so that both people can stretch their legs.
Omg the train seat rules are so on point! 😂 As a Dutchie never ever thought about this. It's so interesting how people from different cultures have their own 'natural' way of doing things without even realising it!
Once when I was 10 years old I went to play outside after dinner with some friends to play soccer. My parents told me I need to come home when the other kids went home, but there were some bigger brothers aswell so we stayed till 10 pm. When I got back home my parents where shocked because they thought I already went to bed. 😂 I live in a small town and there were older kids there so it wasnt a problem but I never realised that the Netherlands is considerbly safer than the us
Yes we have a great country and we have our own way of doing things. Still I think you can give yourself some space to do things a little different like sitting in the train, when people enter the train you can move over to the window seat and create an easy accessible seat for a new traveler.
If you sit diagonally across someone and the third person comes along you could simply slide naturally to the windowseat to make room for the third person so they won't have to slalom between the legs of the persons already sitting there. 😁
I'm Dutch and I've lived in the States for a year and amongst the many differences, there was one thing that always stood out to me. And that was the importance of personal space to Americans. Here in the Netherlands, we visit each other quite often unannounced and almost always that's perfectly fine. In the US, I noticed that every get together needs to be planned in advance and it's always outside of the home. You meet up with friends at a restaurant, but never at someone's home. And if you do meet at someone's home. it's always just you and that other couple, not with other friends as well. Also in restaurants, everybody was really quiet. It was considered rude if the people at the table next to you could hear your conversation. Here in the Netherlands, people are loud which adds to our idea of "gezellig". We can discuss very private things in a restaurant and people around you are able to hear everything you say and we don't mind nor care. We like to be in each other's spaces. It's not uncommon if you go to a bar, that the bar is so crowded that everybody literally stands against each other. And again, that's totally fine and "gezellig". Another thing that emphasizes our lack of need for privacy is the fact that we always have our curtains open. Even at night. And since we mostly live on ground level, everybody that walks by is able to look inside. And again, we don't care. We don't even consider it rude if people look inside. We will probably even wave at them!
Dutch person from the East of the country here! The unwritten rule that you talked about with the coffee/tea does not apply where I live. The Netherlands might be a smol country but the culture variety is just as big as in the US. Here in the east part of the country and probably also up north (Idk, haven't been there for a long time) we don't mind if you decline an offer for a drink and there really isn't a weird feeling in the air when you do. At most we would ask for confirmation like: "Are you really sure you want nothing to drink?" Or at least that is how it felt for me as I often don't have anything right away when in company at a friends place.
I first visited the Netherlands in 1978 for a company that I worked for and fell in love right away, with the people, the organisation, the bikes, the food there’s nothing I can think of that I don’t like.
You shouldn't worry too much about your Dutch not being perfect. As long as you try, you will keep improving. Native speakers always appreciate a non-native speaker learning their language, even when you make a mistake every now and then. :)
Loved your takes and especially the concluding ones. Peoples just don't seem to get how good life in The Netherlands is. Many people are always complaining about the value of the euro compared to the guilder. Insane! This is one of the reasons right wing, populist parties have won. Surely I don't want to make this too political, but so many people not seeing and appreciating the beauty of this country is my number one frustration. Luckily I don't have too many more and can move on, living the happy life we get to live here. Thanks and continue, I'm sure your career path can progress excellently!
On the train seating issue: It does have to do with the legspace, yeah. And also, People will sit on the isle side to (silently) discourage others to want to sit next to them. That's also why you'll see people place their bag on the seat next to them. We'll move if we really have to but rather not have someone sit directly next to us. And concerning accepting a drink even if you don't want one; I didn't know that was even an issue. Not to me anyways.
Ik schreef het al onder een andere video: Lieve Ava, zorg ervoor dat je video's ergens worden opgeslagen in een officieel instituut. Ze zijn een culturele documentaire! Ze mogen nooit verloren gaan. Als een "Americano" met een scherpe blik, blijk je een zeer goede kijk te hebben op Life in the Netherlands, dat wij niet meer zien, omdat wij dat vanaf onze geboorte niet meer als bijzonder zien.
Like the no to a drink point. I am dutch and i never realised that. I can see it being wierd in some circles, but it also explains why i'm pouring out 2 cold teas at the end of a family night. I think to pull it a bit broader, what i think is that... participating is usually more important than the specific actions or answers given.
The train seating thing I have also experienced in the US. The point is that, in a small, kind of unimportant way, you don't want to make yourself closer to a stranger than you have to. This also happens in mens rooms with urinals: everyone chooses a urinal that will leave a minimum 1-urinal gap until that's no longer possible after which they are all available. This changes if there are taller and shorter urinals, but that's it basically.
I went to Belgium for 10 days in November to visit my Belgium Exchange Student daughter who lives south of Antwerp. It rained 8 out of the 10 days. I was fine with it because I wanted to veg.
In terms of coffee cup size: we like STRONG coffee in the Netherlands. So we want about the same amount of "taste molecules", just with much less water!
As a Dutch person I'd like to offer some additional insight on your seating observation in the train, but since I don't have visualization, I'll have to describe it. I hope it's clear enough to understand. You _can_ take the window seat, _as long as_ you shift your posture. Don't stretch your legs to the front, but _diagonally_ .That way the person across of you can still make use of _most_ of the space in front of them, since you provide them that room by working your legs towards the space between (according to your example) seat 3 (your seat at the window) and seat 2 (next to that seat). The person across then still has enough leg room to stretch their legs underneat your seat, which makes it much more acceptable for you sitting there. Unless you have a bag or suitcase that you place between your legs, because then the person opposite of you does not have the leg room. There are, however, _two_ reasons why they prefer you not sitting directly across from them. The first one you've picked up on, which is the leg room. The second one is that, despite in a full train, they don't like someone sitting across of them because they feel you're observing or watching them. When you sit in seat 2 (from your example), there's no immediate accidental eye-contact, while in seat 3 you can make eye-contact by accident if you just look up. We Dutchies appreciate our 'solitary space' in a four-seater, so when people constantly watch us we tend to feel uncomfortable. That's why, in my first example, when you shift your posture, your direct eye-sight goes across the aisle when you look up, rather than towards the person sitting opposite you. That means the person doesn't feel like they're being watched, which means you comply to both the leg space as the eye-contact. *Social security & safety nets* We don't even notice, because it's been here for such a long time that it's just ... normal. Sure, it would be more _noticeable_ if our neighboring countries wouldn't have that, but ... the entirety of Europe has this in a similar capacity. You don't even have to worry about the differences if you travel or emigrate to a different European country. Or even outside Europe. The US is, unfortunately, one of the few countries that don't have those. So technically the _US_ is the outlier here that shock people all across the world for its lack of a social security system or safety net. Most US residents don't actually know this fact, which explains why the YT video "why workers are treated so much better in other countries" is such a popular reaction video for US citizens, just like the "America sucks" video from David Cross and the Gravel Insititute. I don't think either of them will really surprise you at this point, but perhaps they do provide some additional insight. Do keep in mind that they're both trying to create _awareness_ rather than being an actual documentary that addresses all the nuances. *Dutch language* As for "never being as good at the Dutch language as the Dutch", that goes for _every_ expat. At least here in The Netherlands they don't really look down on you, like they do in some other countries (for instance Japan and France), as long as you're _capable_ in the language and don't have a hideous accent. From what I gather it takes 5-10 years in the country before you actually sound more native, but even then it differs from person to person. Many expats that want to settle for the long term usually take language classes early on to get a firm grasp on particular sounds for vowels and such, because Dutch speech seems to be rather unique in terms of vocalism. Do keep in mind that Dutch is still one of the tougher languages to learn. From what I've learned from linguists on TH-cam, Dutch is considered one of the top 10 most difficult active languages to learn or to master. So don't beat yourself up for making mistakes, forgetting a word or misconstruing a phrase.
Your point at @11:40 about the secret code of the Dutch follow to fill the seats on a train is very similar to the secret code that men follow when deciding which urinal to use. Every urinal user knows the code but no one explains it.
My wife said the exact same thing. Such a great hack! But also, there are a number of people who will point at the empty window seat while saying “mag ik daar zitten?” 😅😂
Still waiting to hear you speak Dutch, besides single words. No I would not try to show off Dunglish, as most of us do, even among each other. When I travel abroad to a language area I should be able to manage, I switch over. And stick to it, unless I really have to. I am annoyed by foreigners that don't learn our language, though living here for years. Also annoying to encounter shop personnel, that expect me to adapt to them.
I moved back to the Netherlands this fall after years in the US and of course I knew the weather was going to be bad, but I did not expect literal months of non-stop and overcast skies. Yet funnily enough overall the year was apparently above-average sunny. So yeah.. good luck with that :)
It rains every day but it never rains the entire day. I use the precipitation radar to plan my walks and make the choice between taking the car or riding my bike.
I, as a german, envy the dutch for their exceptional bike infrastructure. Every country should have those high standards when it comes to safety and equality in mobility.
Je hebt zooo gelijk hoor
I as a Dutchman, envy the germans for their lack of speedlimits on some highways
That's something the Germans didn't steal from us some 80 years ago
I as a dutchman, would like to get my bike back from you germans
what do you mean ... heeft iemand jouw fiets in DE gestolen ..? @@Friahidde
Hi Ava, Learning a language: If people immediatly change to English ask them to speak Dutch as you are learning the language and they help you if they speak Dutch.
Most will change back to Dutch.
De brieven van de belastingdienst zijn niet in het Nederlands.. het lijkt op Nederlands, maar ik woon hier al m'n hele leven en ik begrijp ze ook niet 😉
🤣🤣🤣
Hahahahaha, dat is een goeie!
Als je het niet begrijpt, betaal je al gauw teveel. DAT IS NIET SLIM.
I just forward them to my accountant and they'll tell me in proper Dutch what I need to do
Ik probeer ze al jaren te ontcijferen… ik ben ervan overtuigd dat het berichten van buitenaardse afkomst zijn
12:12 The train sitting sequence is so true haha. Here is a tip: if person 3 arrives to the 4 seats you move over to seat 3 instead of letting person 3 sit there and now you have seat two and that person will go into your seat 2. Also for the 2 sit benches there is also the unwritten rule that you will not sit next to someone unless the entire train is full. And if people start leaving the train and new 2 sits come free and you sit next to someone you can move seats so you're no longer next to someone.
Is me nooit zo opgevallen. Maar in verband met beenruimte, ontstaat het kennelijk 🤔
That third-person slide tip is gold! And what really struck me was that this whole system emerges from everybody's need for personal space and we don't even notice until someone like Ava points it out 😅
This is proper Dutch train etiquette. Nobody will punish you if you don't abide by these unwritten rules, but everybody will look at you like you've done something wrong...
Ik heb deze ervaring echt niet. Als er niemand zit ga ik altijd aan het middenpad zitten. Maar inderdaad, als er al iemand zit ga ik er niet tegenover zitten.
So how does it work if you're traveling with someone? Can both sit by the window so you can have a conversation without talking past others?
Not only in trains and buses, there are seating rules. Even in waiting rooms in hospitals, doctor practices, trainstaitons, etc. It is common that the first person can sit wherever he or she likes. As for the second person it is usual to choose a seat as far as possible from the first person So the third person has to sit somewhere in between. Depending on the amount of seats the room fills this way with people. Whatever you do, do not ever step into a waiting area and take a seat directly next to someone else while there are seats free across the room. You can sit directly next to another person if all the other seats are taken
As an introvert this makes perfect sense and I do this all the time in America lol
Hoi Ava! Nooit over nagedacht hoe mensen in de trein gaan zitten, maar het klopt wel! Supergrappig!
En het weer.... zelfs ik begin erover te mopperen. Het wordt vast beter! En mocht het morgen weer regenen... dan hebben we meer tijd voor leuke youtubefilmpjes!
Ik weet neit of dit perse een regel is of dat mensen in een invididualistisch land vooral niet dicht bij elkaar gaan zitten. Zefls op een bankje buiten zitten 2 mensen vaak in de uithoeken. Gewoon op zijn Nederlands 'elkaar met rust laten' '
Als ik op ‘Ava’s plek 2’ zit en er komt iemand op 3, zeg ik meestal dat ik wel even doorschuif.
As the first born of post war Dutch immigrants to Canada I have the privilege to have both Dutch as a first language and a sort of yearning for the lost home land transmitted from parents and experienced as something like the post summer camp letdown after long visits with family as a child.
One of the cultural differences I notice now as an adult is the difference in personal space. In the 'adult summer camp' environment of a sailing charter out of Harlingen with 25 onboard (a highly recommended experience) , I noticed experienced that physical closeness while sitting and talking was part of the 'gezellig' atmosphere. I really miss that. In my group of friends here we are all so reserved, hugs and even handshakes are rare and we rarely sit close enough that arms touch.
Am I simply mourning my youth? or do you also notice a difference in physical closeness in friends groups? I realize that the pandemic and Corona Times has also pushed people apart now. Even 'Three Kisses' has been lost to a large extent.
Thanks for your thought provoking sharing.
PS Others reading this - Take a look at the 'Not Just Bikes' Channel.
Don't worry, it was probably just a thing that happens aboard ships with alcohol present, the Dutch are pretty reserved and individual themselves. Nothing different from Canadians! But all of us long for close contact, it's in our genome to get close. Like I'm longing to get close to you, just because you are from Dutch heritage. Amazing. I LOVE Canada! THREE kisses from a Dutch guy!
De drie kussen zijn weer terug, ook waar ik ze niet per se wil😅
Maar drie voor jou😘😘😘
Thanks @@tonyoffermans3676 I suppose you are right. It was, in retrospect, a magical Pinkster weekend.
Njb promotes good issues but is a dumbass who thinks that his way is the only right answer. Nobody wants to be outside, walking, waiting, or driving in the winter months in my city because you’re freezing cold at a 25 Fahrenheit air temperature with the wind (we’re talking about huge gusts that can cause frostbite within 15 minutes) making you even more miserable. The whole cars are loud not the city is also a very dumb thing he said. The idiot only needed to look up how sound works and would realize what he said was dumb. I literally walked about 150 meters away from a traffic jam not hearing anything because of building materials and air not transferring sound waves well. His whole point about Americans reminiscing in college was stupid because of the well known phenomenon of the reminiscing period. I find it ironic that he claims that us was propagandized which is true, yet he willfully or ignorantly does it too.
@@tonyoffermans3676 It's not really my experience growing up in the Netherlands. We used to have sort of a drinkkeet, an old trailer behind my mates house where we'd hang out. It wasn't very roomy so you were always touching someone and everyone was genuinely okay with that. Taking taxi-buses or buses towards de discotheek where similar. Football(soccer) was similar. But I've grown up in a small town where everyone knew everyone so maybe that makes for a different vibe.
Hallo Ava,
Ik ben 100% Nederlands, maar ik realiseer me heel erg goed in wat voor fijn landje we wonen, ook al mopperen heel veel Nederlanders over het weer en de regering en de vele regeltjes die er zijn. Geen enkel land is helemaal perfect. En wat betreft het weer en de vele regen: dat is voor "ons" ook wennen, het is de laatste jaren of heel erg droog of heel erg nat, en er is ook steeds een groter verschil tussen warm en koud. Het klimaat wat vroeger ongeveer 150 km ten zuiden van Parijs was, hebben we nu hier. Het weer gaat er dus niet op vooruit. Ohhh en de koffie... daarvan horen wij als Nederlanders dat de koffie hier heel erg lekker is, alleen niet bij Star Bucks! Maar dat is geen Nederlandse koffie, ga voor het bekende super Nederlandse Merk: Douwe Egberts. En dan is het museum in Joure, Friesland, waar alles begonnen is, heel erg leuk om naar toe te gaan! En geniet verder van alles wat zo lekker Nederlands is! Groet Remke Uit Twente.
Helaas Douwe Egberts is opgeslokt 😅 door de grotere JDE Peet's… Hoofdkantoor wel in Nederland op het Oosterdokseiland bij CS in Adam.
During WWII, the word used to find out who was a spy was the city name of Scheveningen. Only Dutch people could say it correctly ! What a language !
Another great video. I always look forward to the next one!
There is a thought experiment that is sometimes explained in school that is more or less an analogue of your observation about the seating arrangements in a train coupe. It goes as follows:
Consider the waiting room of a doctor's practice. Now depending on the actual arrangement of the seats in the waiting room, the details may differ of course, but the process remains the same.
* The first person to enter will occupy the seat farthest from the doctor's office door.
* The second person to enter will try and occupy the seat that is as far from the first person's seat as possible, but also as far from the office door as possible
* The third person will try and occupy the next farthest spot in the same manner.
* And so forth, until all seats are occupied.
Now obviously, these rules are not set in stone, and variations do occur, but generally speaking this is how a doctor's (or other practicioner's) waiting room fills.
As for Dutch pronunciation, the 'ui' diphtong is especially hard to pronounce for non-native speakers. I always tell people that they should pronounce it more or less like a Scotsman would pronounce the 'ou' in house. It's not a perfect match, but it comes pretty close.
Cool, Scots say Huis too!
For an American from a northern state (Minnesota in my case) the best advice I've seen is to pronounce Dutch 'ui' like Canadians say the 'ou' in 'about'. After watching Learning Dutch with Kim videos (IMO excellent for beginners like me) I think it's good advice for Americans learning Dutch. If you don't know how Canadians pronounce 'about', watch pro hockey or watch Letterkeny. Now that I have Dutch 'ui' mastered there's only the small problem of 'g' and 'sch', and then all the vocabulary and grammar.
@@jim8947 I have only heard Canadians pronounce "about" as "aboot" and that's no ui... more like the Dutch oe.
Love reading comments right???
Hopefully you read this comment?
First glad to have you and thank you for loving my/your new country😊
Second Happy New Year🎉🎉 i hope that you and your wife had a great and fun New Years Eve?😊
And finally really love your videos keep up the great work Ava👍
En nog een prettige dag toegewenst.
Happy New Year to you as well! Thanks so much for this lovely message 💜 Comments like these make my day, so yes, I really do like reading them!
I am a Dutch person of 61 years old and I have never experienced as much rain as now in those 61 years. A few years ago there was also a unique period from several months without any rain. I guess it is a part of the climate change and I hope it will not happen to often.
The one thing I like about rain is that you then get to see who still smiles when walking outside - those are the really friendly people.
@@MartinvanderEnde that's a beautiful perspective
@@MartinvanderEndeamazing observation, so true
Zuid en Zout sound different.
There is a cheat code for the train. When you see the 3rd person is coming, you switch over to the window seat(3) and "offer" them your seat (2).
I heard that as well. It is understandable, though. The 'ui'-sound is pretty hard to pronounce or even recognise for foreigners.
Curious what your wife calls you. My husband ?
pre-heated seat! What's not to like!
@@blablamannetje Lol no way.
Love your perspective. Your channel is kind of unique on TH-cam as you are sharing with us the true full immersion experience that very few Americans will ever have, with a Dutch spouse. I was born and raised in NL however have lived in CA since 1988. Your observations are so spot on and very interesting. Very few Dutch will ever realize how odd some of these habits really are.
I fully think so too! Preserve the videos.
Hey Ava, I loved this video. It is authentic and not just to fill another video. It is true we Dutchies like to complain a lot 🙂 But you know.. when you are raised in a system that provides such a lot of comfort this is not special anymore. And when we travel we are pressed with the nose in the "shit" Yes the weather is terrible this part of year but also this creates a degree of cosiness (to sit inside and hear the rain ticking on the roof and/.or windows. I for instance create more cosiness during this time of year. Light some candles, make a cup of coffee with some honey and a drip of alcohol 🙂 Maybe your Dutch will never be perfect but then again: You are you and you have talents some one else does not have. Happy New Year and I wish you all the best in 2024 !
Dat zeuren kan er ook mee temaken hebben dat er nog maar weinig goed is uitgewerkt, zodat vanalles net niet loopt...
Bovendien is 'links' gelijker dan de rest. (Waarom zijn de blokkeerfriesen en daarna de boeren wel veroordeeld voor resp. snelweg blokkades en langzaam rijden acties en XR en consorten nieteens genoteerd?)
Ik moet dagelijks met de trein en er zijn regelmatig periodes waar die er minimaal eens in de week uit ligt.
Er is geen Nederlandstalig universitair onderwijs.
90% van de cultuursubsidies gaan naar de randstad, waar maar ⅓ van de bevolking woont.
Bij ons zijn er op 45.000 inwoners maar 8 agenten en 4 boa's, geen wonder dat de ruiten er op het station sneller uit dan in gaan!
Er zijn zo veel dingen die niet lopen, dus ook genoeg redenen om te klagen.
Zeuren is een nono voor social butterflies die in hun eigen kont leven.
Voor andere is het praten over de realiteit, is erg belangrijk om dat gewoon te kunnen doen.
Maar als je pussy bent doe je mee en laat je alles gebeuren en praat je alleen maar over neppe shit.
Dat is juist wat een ziek persoon doet, niet willen praten over de wereld, alleen maar over de neppe samenleving van starbucks en lachen, ik ook leuk, maar niet altijd, is meer een vrouwen ding om in onzin te leven.
Wil niet zegge dat het allemaal jou fout is, maar je ziet er niet gezond uit, niet mentaal of fysiek, met een rare uitdrukking in je gezicht, doe je toch echt zelf, je kan kiezen om in de realiteit te gaan leven of nooit een leuke vrouw te kunnen vangen.
Je bent aan het mieren schiften In verhouding hebben we het hier hartstikke goed, En zeker als je gezond bent. @@Treinbouwer
@@Treinbouwer precies we zijn misschien wel een van de beste landen ter wereld om in te leven maar dat betekent niet dat alles perfect of zelfs maar goed is bij ons.
er is genoeg in Nederland wat niet klopt of (veel) beter kan (en moet), en dus is het goed dat we klagen.
als we niet klagen weten we niet waar nog aan gewerkt moet worden, en stoppen we met verbeteren.
Even for Dutch people the tax letters are an enigma sometimes. Also my phone navigation makes a total mess of the pronounciation of street names, very hilarious. And the fun part is you can't ever predict how it will mess up the next street, to beyond recognizable.
I'm Dutch I haven't traveled with public transport for 45 years or so, but I can see why You would not go and sit direct next or opposite a stranger. I think it has to do with personal space.
Not sitting opposite in a block of 4, logically is a matter of leg space.
As far as possible of course.
Hi Ava, Happy New Year! I love how good your Dutch pronunciation is: "those love letters from the Belastingdienst"... that sounded so natural! Well done.
I'm one flabbergasted original Dutchman. I had no idea about the seating arrangement in trains and some buses. Even If I'm the second person in the booth, I'll still just sit at the window and I've never been aware that this was not done! And even though I know now, if I ever go on a trip by train again, I will still not comply to that 'norm'.
I think we Dutchies love or personal space, and with the long legs, that explains the intuitive seating (with strangers).
@@AJansenNL Yeah, I know *now*, because Ava already said something to that effect. But that doesn't change the facts that: 1) I didn't know it, 2) my legs aren't that long, and 3) I would still offend people by getting the window seat. 😁--- Because I'm just not comfortable sitting at the aisle, where people are constantly passing through... 😑
Still want proof from her IJmUIden and her SCHeveningen. Right this instance, Sir!
@@tonyoffermans3676 Yeah, THAT would be the real test, wouldn't it?
In een brUIne trUI een broodje EI met UI eten en daarna een SCHeve SCHaats rIJden over een naCHt IJs.
@@bobosims1848 Dat las ik dan direct weer met een Haags accent.
I love your videos. As Dutch it’s good to see that this country is not so bad. Love your openness and views about us a Dutch. Keep them coming. Love them and fun o watch. And the weather. Well last months you had a bad time. And now a bit cold. You can’t have it all 😊
The seating arrangement works naturally much the same way in Sweden.
First person takes whatever place she/he want(normally a window seat in the direction the train are going).
Second person take the seat diagonally, to sit as far away from person one as possible.
Third person, have to sit next to someone so can chose freely between the two spots left (so will most likely take the other window seat).
Never ever tough about it in my 50 years, it just a given that to keep the distance to a stranger you sitting close to is way higher prioritized than to get a window seat.
It is just the way things are.
Btw, not doing it that way will not get anyone angry but a lot of looks since you obviously are either crazy, drunk or a foreigner.
I also want to add that Dutch people are generally tall (not sure about the Swedish). So on the one hand we don't mind when you're going to sit exactly opposite, but it's just more practical to pick a diagonal seat and leave some space for our long legs. ;)
The unwritten rule about where to sit in the train is spot on. Basically, we find it akward to sit closer to each other than necessary. Though, you missed something about the rule. Typically, the third and fourth seat only get occupied if there are no other places left where the first or second has not been taken yet.
Hahaha, I’ve noticed 😆
Ik heb lang met de trein gereisd maar die ongeschreven regel is mij onbekend hoor! Nooit wat van gemerkt! Ik ging gewoon zitten waar ik wilde! 😂😂
@@paulenlizet9034 Sommige mensen boeit het niet inderdaad. Maar ik houd me er wel redelijk aan.
als je een langere treinreis maakt, dus ook van amsterdam centraal naar Utrecht centraal, kun je het ook gewoon even vragen!
Daardoor zal het meestal geen probleem zijn, doordat je de ruimte van de ander daarmee erkent en respecteerd! (denk ik!)
@@DutchAmericano als je een langere treinreis maakt, dus ook van amsterdam centraal naar Utrecht centraal, kun je het ook gewoon even vragen!
Daardoor zal het meestal geen probleem zijn, doordat je de ruimte van de ander daarmee erkent en respecteerd! (denk ik!)
I love that so many of your experiences you share are exactly what I've experienced as well. I'm also an American living in the Netherlands with a Dutch partner. I cackled when you mentioned turning down something to drink at the in-laws. I have done that so often, and still do, and my schoonmoeder is always like "hè?! Níks?!" 😂. I will say both my Dutchie and I disagree with the train seating arrangement. 1 and 2 are for sure correct, but 3 is the open aisle seat (so you don't have to step over someone), and 4 is the poor sukkel who has to crawl over everyone to get the last window seat. He said he would even refuse to take that seat to avoid stepping over someone, but I have no shame lol
I think the train seating is more a case of a lot of tall people wanting to stretch their legs, especially in the 'sprinters' (the white NS trains) which have much less room
Yeah, the amount of rain we have had this fall is somewhat exceptional. We can have some rainy falls but this season is a lot, even for us.
Talking about too much water: American coffee 😏 That’s taking an overroasted bean, hang it on on a wire and drip it for a second in hot water 😅
Have you had a ristretto yet? ☺️
I grew up on farms in a Dutch farming community-it was lovely and so good for me. My first wife and I went to The Netherlands in 1975 and it was like coming home.
Cheers from the Pacific West Coast of Canada.
Also sometimes the Dutch bluntness can be either super funny or hurtful-and they don't see it.
Ava, een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar, ook voor jouw vrouw !
Now, I'll continue in English so the international community can understand it too.. About the weather in Fall and Winter, you mentioned that it's so dark.. That's easily explained. The Netherlands is quite a bit more to the north ( a dusy for Santa ) than the USA, so in Fall and Winter we get less sunshine.
Oh, and if you might meet me in the train, feel free to take the Windowseat opposite to me..
Exactly. For reference, Amsterdam if transposed on the American continent would be mid way between Calgary, CA and Edmonton, CA. Day light length in Amsterdam differs around nine full hours between midsummer and midwinter.
I had the opposite problem with coffee size, I'm from Portugal so for me the "a coffee" by default is an espresso 🤣
Always fun to hear your observations!
Regarding the window seat; if you were the 2nd person and sat down diagonally, you can then scoot over to the window when someone joins the 4 seater!
The 3rd person doesn't get the window seat, because to access it, they would have to squeeze between the legs of person 1 and 2. The 3rd person takes the aisle seat next to the 1st person. When a 4th person arrives the 2nd person scoots over to the window seat to make room.
I approve. We should make this law
Don't worry as a Dutch I know most Dutch don't know the word alas. Even better most of them have never ever heard of it. The train thing long story short that's how we'd like to keep a distance to the other provided all four are strangers. Like I don't want to instantly sit right in front of someone I don't know for God knows how long if I was commuter number two. Hell no. So diagonal from the other. We hebben dan de stille hoop dat het zo de hele treinreis blijft. Sitting so close eye to eye is al tot daaraan toe 😅 Though we accept sitting in front of commuter number four just fine. At that point nobody ain't going nowhere, right? (..) Btw love the cat with his acknowledging body language listening and approving all what you're saying 😊
Yes I understand what you mean about never being quite as fluid in Dutch as in English. I have it the other way round, I grew up Dutch then migrated to Australia when I was 14 and after almost 60 years here I still sometimes stumble or can't find the correct word quickly. A few days ago my younger sister who was a teacher said I've always pronounced 'again' wrong, we had a laugh about it and I daresay I'll continue to get it wrong. Also people still ask where are you from because of a slight accent, last time I visited the Netherlands people thought I was American and would answer me in English! So I don't quite fit in either country now and that's fine by me, I'm glad to have lived in both.
I just realised, you've fully mastered the 'ui' vowel, congratulations!
It's a vowel sound unique to the Dutch language so it's a milestone :-)
Hoi Ava, being Dutch made it very interesting to see your video. Especially about the sitting order in the Dutch trains😂 I never thought about it, but when you mentioned it, I could only confirm it😂
As a Dutch person, I do appreciate the freedom, safety and general living conditions in our country to the fullest. But you are very right to point them out once again. Too many people over here take them for granted.
Leuke video weer Ava, wat een feest der herkenning. Gelukkig nieuw jaar gewenst met je vrouw!
Gelukkig nieuwjaar!
That train seating thing is actually so true i never thought about it tho but i totally recognize it haha
Haha, die trein-zit volgorde 😂. Het klopt inderdaad. Ik heb wel een tip: als je diagonaal moest gaan zitten, schuif dan op naar het raam als het drukker wordt en iemand bij het raam wil gaan zitten . Win-win, want dan zit je bij het raam EN je bent zo beleefd om op te schuiven en het de nieuwkomer gemakkelijk te maken want hij hoeft niet over je heen te stappen.
Heel herkenbaar, en er zijn meer reacties van Nederlanders op deze video waarin dit gezegd wordt. Dat is dus kennelijk onderdeel van de ongeschreven spelregels: als het drukker wordt kun je van plek 2 naar 3 opschuiven. Zo lijk je èn beleefd èn je krijgt alsnog je zin.
Don’t worry about your English accent. When you are speaking Dutch. I am from Nijmegen in the south. I now live in the east and people immediately hear that I am not local because of my southern soft ‘g’. But it never causes problems.
Nijmegen is also in the east, right against the german border 21:39
@@henkvandervossen6616 Weermensen bedoelen met het oosten doorgaans Twente en de Achterhoek. Noord en MiddenLimburg noemt men meestal zuidoost. In mijn jeugd heette de busmaatschappij, die tot Nijmegen reed “De Zuidooster”
She's American
@Ava, for your train seating problem (it indeed does make more sense when u think of (leg) space as a commodity), when u are number 2 and want a 'window seat', just scoot over when number 3 asks (they should normally ask unless the train is jampacked full) for his or her seat. Then number 3 can more easily plumb his behind in a seat and u get a window :D.
Helemaal gelijk, we zouden wat meer trots mogen zijn op wat we hebben. Maar dat zijn we stiekem ook wel. We zijn een trots volk en vieren graag onze overwinningen. We zijn best competitief. Goed dat je nog een keer benadrukt dat we wat blijer mogen zijn met ons mooie land.
I am so happy with immigrants like Ava! Then to think that in countries like Russia she could be persecuted for openly being gay. I really wonder if we will be able to defend a free and open society like we have now in the Netherlands.
About the seating order in the trains: it is possible to break those rules, especially if it is busy. You can sit down in the Window seat and shift over when the train departs and it is clear no-one will take the isle seat, and then shift back to the window seat when more people enter the train. I know I do. Because it makes it easier for the third person to be seated, not having to move over someone's legs.
The train seating is so true! I am a rulebreaker though, i dont like sitting by the window so i always take the aisle seat and make person 2 get the window. I think its a combination of the window seats being considered bettr and wanting to give as much personal space as possible
Hey Ava, Yes in our busy little lives we (the Dutch) are probably not aware of the fact that things can be very different abroad then they are right here in our own country. With the only exception of maybe bad experiences abroad, we have accepted the things the way they are here in The Netherlands as being the norm of how things should be in a country or any country across the globe, which for obvious reasons they are not. So we happily live our lives in The Netherlands, complaining about things that need change and the weather. Boy is it nasty weather....
Man I’m here rn and it’s June and it’s STILL RAINING
Long term, crime is going down slowly in the Netherlands. Has been for the last 20 years (with some ups and downs).
Ah, and about the train: to me it is not comfortable to sit directly opposite the other(and first) person at the window because we would be too much in our own space. That's why you go to sit in a diagonal fashion. Knees might touch (we're build in a to long fashion) and this is the last thing you'd want. So this is how the boter-kaas-en-eieren is build up for me concerning seats in the train.
Yeah it is a personal space thing. Same reason why you take a corner in an elevator and not go stand right next to the other person. My biggest peeve is standing in line (in the supermarket or wherever) and someone comes stand behind you close enough for them to hang their dick in your back pocket. That's not cool! back off!
I agree 100% with the train seat system and that's also how I would expect people to sit in the US. Usually people with larger parties sit in those seats, but if you're a single that's exactly how I would expect it to work.
Your videos are not only informative and enjoyable, but refreshing.
I watch a lot of "living in the Netherlands" videos, because I love the Netherlands; often going out of my way to fly into Schiphol for the opportunity to dream about one day living in Amsterdam.
What is wonderful about your videos is how matter of fact you are about both the United States and the Netherlands. You simply state you opinion and do not go out of you way to speak ill of the United States or Americans. Yes, we Americans have many issues, but it is also thanks to the business and economic environment of the United States that I have opportunity to enjoy your videos.
Thanks for the content!
Thank you for the last part! It’s my reason to watch your videos. Open your eyes, open your mind. Only when you travel, you feel grateful for the things we take for granted here.❤
I'm an American (ex) living now going on 22 years in Amsterdam with my Dutch husband. My Dutch has become in that time quite fluent and people STILL answer me in English. Whereupon my standard answers are the following (these I've developed over the years...) 1: Kom nou, mijn Nederlands is waarschijnlijk net so slecht als jouw Engels. (Come on, my Dutch is probably just as bad as your English.) 2: Sorry, maar heb ik geen Nederlands gebruikt? (Excuse me, but did I not speak a word of Dutch?) 3: Ik was onder de indruk dat ik Nederlands heb gesproken. (I was under the impression that I spoke Dutch.) For me, they all work like a charm! At any rate, I really enjoy your channel!
or...you learn a few French or German or Danish or any other language lines and say in those "excuse me I don't speak English" ;)
with French and German you can encounter some multilinguals though...
Wow, those standard answers of yours are really rude (and I am Dutch, so I am used to directness). The first one is a plain insult and the other two are quite passive agressive. Why not say something like: "Ik wil graag mijn Nederlands oefenen. Kunnen we Nederlands spreken met elkaar?" (I'd like to practice my Dutch. Can we speak Dutch?) That will prevent you from antagonizing people.
@@1234eva4321 But don't you also find it rude to ignore a basic courtesy of communication? Also (and I realize that I am defensive here) I am not 'practicing'' my Dutch. Anyway, I've lived here quite happily for 22 years and I love love The Netherlands with all my heart!
@@allansegall4502 That depends on what courtesy you mean. I think most Dutch people switch to English as a courtesy when they realize someone is not a native speaker. They want to make communication easier, however misplaced that may be. I understand you do not want to practice your Dutch, I mentioned it because it is an easy and non confrontational way to get what you want. True fluency in another language is very hard to achieve. From what I read, your Dutch is good, but I can immediately see it is not your first language, as I am sure you can deduct from my English. I might make the mistake of switching to English when talking to you in person as well. The sentences you mentioned would annoy me and I would end the conversation first chance I got. The practice excuse would make me think about what I was doing, I would probably say sorry for changing to English and I would be more than willing to continu in Dutch. Anyway, I am happy you enjoy the Netherlands so much and wish you all the best!
@@1234eva4321 You're English is indeed better than my Dutch!
Gelukkig nieuwjaar, Ava, voor jullie allebei. Leuke video. Dank je wel!
The train thing is not about leg space, it's about social zones. If you're sitting right in front of someone when there's room to not do so, you're choosing a more intimate spot. You're being overly familiar with a stranger. It's as weird as sitting right next to someone on a bench when there's room for several people. Now if there's no other spot available you're not being weird, just forced to be practical.
You are correct.
In 1981 I traveled almost every day by train from Tilburg to Rotterdam and vice versa because of an additional education. On the morning train, I met the same fellow passengers almost every day. It took a week or two before we had pleasant conversations. This even went so far that when in the course of that year one of this group had forgotten his card belonging to the annual subscription, everyone tried to convince the conductor (who was often the same one) not to issue a fine. This group of 1st class travelling passengers (including senior officials of the Ministry of Defence) formed a close-knit "community".
The return journey was completely different, because that meant in Rotterdam to board a partly already filled train (from The Hague).
It’s not *just* about leg space. It is, however, *also* about leg space.
About the seats: I usually try to follow that rule but if the window seat is in a better condition (cleanliness, damage) than the other one, I will take the window seat.
Nice to hear how you have experienced integrating into the Dutch culture.
That is funny, as a Dutch person living long time in Switzerland, they also have the unwritten rule overhere on the train. Windowseat then diagonaly. I like it also for my long Dutch legs, but even the shorter Swiss like it that way.
As a Dutch person, I am not so aware of what you experience as the 'unwritten rules' you mention.
For example, I think the train is more convenient because you sit diagonally due to the lack of space between the legs.
Just like in our small country, 'almost' everything is very small.
So also the normal coffee cups, but yes, it is real coffee, and without by-products.
😉
The thing about these unwritten rules is that most Dutch people don’t even know about them, unless you specifically point them out. It is just ingrained into our culture and understanding of the world/country around us.
Your example with the train seats is just something everyone knows and follows, no one questions it. Even if a Dutch person has never travelled by train before, they would still know somehow.
Exactly these everybody knows rules are the number one cause of culture shock. Your place has other or no rules for that and you just can’t understand what’s going on
Thank you for your videos Ava, it gives me some insight about how my lovely lady might feel.
She moved from Poland to NL with her daughter to live together with me.
I recognized lots of the issues you where talking about.
8 years have passed by now and im very proud of hoe she did in general. Within one year she got her nederlands staatsexamen 2 and our daughter was best in class in Dutch language..
I hope that you still enjoy life in Utrecht together with your wife.
Utrecht is awesome, i did 2 studies there that i really enjoyed.
I would like to see some updates about how you are doing 😊
‘Nitsjmidgen’, die moet ik als Nijmegenaar onthouden. 😂
Pro tip on the train seating thing. When the third person makes the move to come sit. Scoot over quickly and make it easier for them to sit while you get the window sit. Win win for everyone.
As an American than happened to fall in love with the Netherlands (I've only been there twice), the second time I was there, I got enough courage to try and speak Dutch at a shop in Amsterdam. I was very hesitant, but I asked one of the workers a question in Dutch (in my very American accent) and they responded in Dutch (which I surprisingly understood). I'm still working on my Dutch (luckily, I have a good friend there to help) but hope to return soon even more confident than I was before.
Hi Ava. Happy New Year.
Don't worry about your Dutch. Just keep on learning. I am a Dutchie and sometimes even I learn a new dutch word. Not as often as it can happen to you ofcourse. You have an open mind to learning. So don't worry!! Further more your dutch pronunciation sounds excellent. Just keep up the good work
Never noticed the train seating rules you’ve described. I’ll observe when taking my next train ride.
Never noticed the trainseat rule.....but now, in retrospect you're right. I'm Dutch myself but I realy want to learn myself that American midwestern accent.
It is funny, when I as a German hear Dutch, I could follow the words quite good (if they speak slowly), but I almost do not understand Dutch, when I try to read it.
I always think, Dutch seems to be the link between German and English.
Frisian (as spoken in the Dutch province of Fryslân) is even closer to English than Dutch. But "standard" Dutch originated as the dialect of Haarlem (where Dutch book-printing originates), and "standard" German originated as the dialect of Wittenberg (at least according to those in Ostfriesland who call that "Lütters"). In between is Lower Saxon ("Platt"). And in the Dutch province of Limburg, the dialect east of the river Maas may still be "Rheinisch". But that's omitting the other German dialects.
There are pitfalls between German and Dutch, and I wish I could pinpoint them. Some of them have to do with the German prefixes "auf-" and "ein-", as they may translate to different Dutch prefixes.
By the way, I have "recently" subscribed to the RSS-feed of RTL auf Letzeburgisch. Once I have shifted some vowels and identified some French words, I can (slowly) read it as "Rheinisch" German.
Frysian, and, being in Friesland, makes me think of Scandinavia. The Y looks a lot like the one Danes have, though they pronounce it Uu, as in Utrecht, not Ie as in iets, as they do in Frysk ( pronounced Freesk, or Friesk, in Dutch writing;)
Funny , it's opposite for me : I can't hardly understand Scandinavian talking, but reading Norse papers, it's quite easy to see what it's about. Have to check Frysk writing, though :)
So, as a Dutch person I’ve never heard of the seating sequence and I’ve taken the train quite a lot. 😊 So maybe I’ve been doing it wrong so I’ll try to take notice of it next time. After 4 months in Nepal, which has been fantastic, I’ve learned to appreciate how good we have it in the Netherlands. A hot shower for instance or, like you said, the social security in the Netherlands is indeed quite exceptional. Here in Nepal people have to rely on each other which is great but when it comes to elderly care they have to rely on charity and volunteers. I cannot wait to get some Dutch soul food, as an American friend of a friend once called it. Frietje stoof met mayo en een Mexicano xxl met tartaar saus. 😁 a true guilty pleasure which I can only see satisfied in the Netherlands or Belgium.
Great vids. I’m learning stuff about my own culture and country I wasn’t even aware of 🤗
You frequently mention the difference with the work culture. It almost sounds like Americans only work themselves "to death", a bit like literally happening in Japan. I would be very interested if you would expand on that now you have some experience working in the Netherlands also. Most Dutch people of course have no experience with working in the US. What culture works better? (pun intended)
Theres more to the train seating arrangement. if the third person want to sit down, the second person can also scootch over to the window as to not create a hassle for the person trying to squeeze by. This is especially true if the first 2 people know each other, but then they usually already take the second window seat right away. However 2 people that know each other, might go diagonally from each other so only 1 has a window seat, so that both people can stretch their legs.
Omg the train seat rules are so on point! 😂 As a Dutchie never ever thought about this. It's so interesting how people from different cultures have their own 'natural' way of doing things without even realising it!
Yeah, I live here for my entire life and yes we hate the weather just as much as you do.
Once when I was 10 years old I went to play outside after dinner with some friends to play soccer.
My parents told me I need to come home when the other kids went home, but there were some bigger brothers aswell so we stayed till 10 pm.
When I got back home my parents where shocked because they thought I already went to bed. 😂
I live in a small town and there were older kids there so it wasnt a problem but I never realised that the Netherlands is considerbly safer than the us
I don't go often by train and I never noticed it when going by train. I just take the seat I like and never had someone comment on it..
Yes we have a great country and we have our own way of doing things. Still I think you can give yourself some space to do things a little different like sitting in the train, when people enter the train you can move over to the window seat and create an easy accessible seat for a new traveler.
If you sit diagonally across someone and the third person comes along you could simply slide naturally to the windowseat to make room for the third person so they won't have to slalom between the legs of the persons already sitting there. 😁
Ik hou van je filmpjes. Natuurlijk extra leuk omdat ze in Utrecht zijn.
Happy New Year Ava to you and your wife, may it be a healthy one and better then last year!
I'm Dutch and I've lived in the States for a year and amongst the many differences, there was one thing that always stood out to me. And that was the importance of personal space to Americans. Here in the Netherlands, we visit each other quite often unannounced and almost always that's perfectly fine. In the US, I noticed that every get together needs to be planned in advance and it's always outside of the home. You meet up with friends at a restaurant, but never at someone's home. And if you do meet at someone's home. it's always just you and that other couple, not with other friends as well. Also in restaurants, everybody was really quiet. It was considered rude if the people at the table next to you could hear your conversation. Here in the Netherlands, people are loud which adds to our idea of "gezellig". We can discuss very private things in a restaurant and people around you are able to hear everything you say and we don't mind nor care. We like to be in each other's spaces. It's not uncommon if you go to a bar, that the bar is so crowded that everybody literally stands against each other. And again, that's totally fine and "gezellig". Another thing that emphasizes our lack of need for privacy is the fact that we always have our curtains open. Even at night. And since we mostly live on ground level, everybody that walks by is able to look inside. And again, we don't care. We don't even consider it rude if people look inside. We will probably even wave at them!
Dutch person from the East of the country here!
The unwritten rule that you talked about with the coffee/tea does not apply where I live. The Netherlands might be a smol country but the culture variety is just as big as in the US.
Here in the east part of the country and probably also up north (Idk, haven't been there for a long time) we don't mind if you decline an offer for a drink and there really isn't a weird feeling in the air when you do. At most we would ask for confirmation like: "Are you really sure you want nothing to drink?" Or at least that is how it felt for me as I often don't have anything right away when in company at a friends place.
Also depends on who's asking. But a lot of people feel uncomfortable if they can't offer you something. Better accept the offer.
I first visited the Netherlands in 1978 for a company that I worked for and fell in love right away, with the people, the organisation, the bikes, the food there’s nothing I can think of that I don’t like.
You shouldn't worry too much about your Dutch not being perfect. As long as you try, you will keep improving. Native speakers always appreciate a non-native speaker learning their language, even when you make a mistake every now and then. :)
Loved your takes and especially the concluding ones. Peoples just don't seem to get how good life in The Netherlands is. Many people are always complaining about the value of the euro compared to the guilder. Insane! This is one of the reasons right wing, populist parties have won. Surely I don't want to make this too political, but so many people not seeing and appreciating the beauty of this country is my number one frustration. Luckily I don't have too many more and can move on, living the happy life we get to live here. Thanks and continue, I'm sure your career path can progress excellently!
On the train seating issue: It does have to do with the legspace, yeah. And also, People will sit on the isle side to (silently) discourage others to want to sit next to them. That's also why you'll see people place their bag on the seat next to them. We'll move if we really have to but rather not have someone sit directly next to us. And concerning accepting a drink even if you don't want one; I didn't know that was even an issue. Not to me anyways.
Ik schreef het al onder een andere video: Lieve Ava, zorg ervoor dat je video's ergens worden opgeslagen in een officieel instituut. Ze zijn een culturele documentaire! Ze mogen nooit verloren gaan. Als een "Americano" met een scherpe blik, blijk je een zeer goede kijk te hebben op Life in the Netherlands, dat wij niet meer zien, omdat wij dat vanaf onze geboorte niet meer als bijzonder zien.
Hé Eva, Im also totally done with this eternal Fall, luckily next week they expect some winter weather with more sunshine!! I can't wait!
Same here! Really looking forward to it!
Thanks for your perspective!
Like the no to a drink point. I am dutch and i never realised that. I can see it being wierd in some circles, but it also explains why i'm pouring out 2 cold teas at the end of a family night. I think to pull it a bit broader, what i think is that... participating is usually more important than the specific actions or answers given.
I thought it was just a human thing to share food and drink as a bonding experience.
The train seating thing I have also experienced in the US. The point is that, in a small, kind of unimportant way, you don't want to make yourself closer to a stranger than you have to. This also happens in mens rooms with urinals: everyone chooses a urinal that will leave a minimum 1-urinal gap until that's no longer possible after which they are all available. This changes if there are taller and shorter urinals, but that's it basically.
I went to Belgium for 10 days in November to visit my Belgium Exchange Student daughter who lives south of Antwerp. It rained 8 out of the 10 days. I was fine with it because I wanted to veg.
About the weather.. there are weeks when it barely rains. Months even. I wouldn't say it rains so much in April until August
Strange. I seldomly use the train as I usually travel only local, but that seating priority indeed came naturally to me.
In terms of coffee cup size: we like STRONG coffee in the Netherlands. So we want about the same amount of "taste molecules", just with much less water!
To make your friend feel better, Google maps used to pronounce Nijmegen in the exact same way.
Hahaha, didn’t know that 😆
As a Dutch person I'd like to offer some additional insight on your seating observation in the train, but since I don't have visualization, I'll have to describe it. I hope it's clear enough to understand.
You _can_ take the window seat, _as long as_ you shift your posture. Don't stretch your legs to the front, but _diagonally_ .That way the person across of you can still make use of _most_ of the space in front of them, since you provide them that room by working your legs towards the space between (according to your example) seat 3 (your seat at the window) and seat 2 (next to that seat). The person across then still has enough leg room to stretch their legs underneat your seat, which makes it much more acceptable for you sitting there.
Unless you have a bag or suitcase that you place between your legs, because then the person opposite of you does not have the leg room.
There are, however, _two_ reasons why they prefer you not sitting directly across from them. The first one you've picked up on, which is the leg room. The second one is that, despite in a full train, they don't like someone sitting across of them because they feel you're observing or watching them. When you sit in seat 2 (from your example), there's no immediate accidental eye-contact, while in seat 3 you can make eye-contact by accident if you just look up. We Dutchies appreciate our 'solitary space' in a four-seater, so when people constantly watch us we tend to feel uncomfortable.
That's why, in my first example, when you shift your posture, your direct eye-sight goes across the aisle when you look up, rather than towards the person sitting opposite you. That means the person doesn't feel like they're being watched, which means you comply to both the leg space as the eye-contact.
*Social security & safety nets*
We don't even notice, because it's been here for such a long time that it's just ... normal. Sure, it would be more _noticeable_ if our neighboring countries wouldn't have that, but ... the entirety of Europe has this in a similar capacity. You don't even have to worry about the differences if you travel or emigrate to a different European country. Or even outside Europe.
The US is, unfortunately, one of the few countries that don't have those. So technically the _US_ is the outlier here that shock people all across the world for its lack of a social security system or safety net. Most US residents don't actually know this fact, which explains why the YT video "why workers are treated so much better in other countries" is such a popular reaction video for US citizens, just like the "America sucks" video from David Cross and the Gravel Insititute. I don't think either of them will really surprise you at this point, but perhaps they do provide some additional insight. Do keep in mind that they're both trying to create _awareness_ rather than being an actual documentary that addresses all the nuances.
*Dutch language*
As for "never being as good at the Dutch language as the Dutch", that goes for _every_ expat. At least here in The Netherlands they don't really look down on you, like they do in some other countries (for instance Japan and France), as long as you're _capable_ in the language and don't have a hideous accent. From what I gather it takes 5-10 years in the country before you actually sound more native, but even then it differs from person to person. Many expats that want to settle for the long term usually take language classes early on to get a firm grasp on particular sounds for vowels and such, because Dutch speech seems to be rather unique in terms of vocalism.
Do keep in mind that Dutch is still one of the tougher languages to learn. From what I've learned from linguists on TH-cam, Dutch is considered one of the top 10 most difficult active languages to learn or to master. So don't beat yourself up for making mistakes, forgetting a word or misconstruing a phrase.
Your point at @11:40 about the secret code of the Dutch follow to fill the seats on a train is very similar to the secret code that men follow when deciding which urinal to use. Every urinal user knows the code but no one explains it.
12:54 or you move to the window when the 3rd person comes
yes, this
My wife said the exact same thing. Such a great hack! But also, there are a number of people who will point at the empty window seat while saying “mag ik daar zitten?” 😅😂
Channels like this has made me realize more that we have it good in The Netherlands, although we still do like to "mopper" about, well, everything😅
Still waiting to hear you speak Dutch, besides single words.
No I would not try to show off Dunglish, as most of us do, even among each other.
When I travel abroad to a language area I should be able to manage, I switch over. And stick to it, unless I really have to.
I am annoyed by foreigners that don't learn our language, though living here for years.
Also annoying to encounter shop personnel, that expect me to adapt to them.
I moved back to the Netherlands this fall after years in the US and of course I knew the weather was going to be bad, but I did not expect literal months of non-stop and overcast skies. Yet funnily enough overall the year was apparently above-average sunny. So yeah.. good luck with that :)
It rains every day but it never rains the entire day. I use the precipitation radar to plan my walks and make the choice between taking the car or riding my bike.