UPDATED: MIL Ruined The Dishes I Prepared For a Family Get Together But I Knew About Her Plan...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- UPDATED: MIL Ruined The Dishes I Prepared For a Family Get Together But I Knew About Her Plan Already so I Got it Recorded & as Soon as Everyone Tasted it I Played That Video & Oh Boy....Her Face Went Pale!
Hi everybody. I (40M) have had a weird encounter with my MIL this week and am wondering if I took it too far. For a little background, my wife and I have been married for ten years and I have always had a bit of a strained relationship with her mother. Her mom is a very traditional woman and I think it bothers her that my wife and I do not follow the traditional gender roles in a marriage. I am a stay at home dad and my wife works as a corporate lawyer.
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That is disgusting to think that she was willing to make all of her family sick, possibly very sick, just to make her son-in-law look bad. And the wife really needs to step up and stop making excuses for her Mother. The whole, ‘maybe we should have confronted her quietly, away from all of her poisoning victims’ idea is absolute nonsense and she needs to grow a pair! Her responses to her Mother’s behaviour is exactly the reason the old crone feels empowered to pull this $h!t.
Depending on where they are, MIL could face up to 15 years in prison for tampering with someone's food, plus possible fines of $10,000 - $15,000. It could get even worse if somebody had ended up in the hospital.
Exactly, call them out publicly, before they have a chance to twist the narrative in their favor and make u look like the bad guy. This is a favorite tactic of cheaters in particular.
That is a felony.
exactly right.
Victims of poisoning have the absolute right to be informed of the danger they were subjected to. And since the MIL did serve the tainted food and even watched people eat it, she did actually poison them. It's good that the OP stopped them from eating enough to make them sick, but his MIL went through with her plan and committed a crime. His wife, being an attorney, should understand this. And enabling this behavior is absolutely the worst thing the daughter could do. This MIL is dangerous to those around her, and that fact needs to be public. If she did this once she'd likely do it again if she thought that she'd benefit in some way.
He an son made a costume awe now that’s a sweetheart daddy . Son will have the best memories
Story 1: This dude's wife needs to take some of the money she earns as a lawyer and buy a clue. The MIL is beyond toxic and needs to be banished forever.
This is the best comment I've ever seen under a reddit video
Op 1 has a wife problem, not a MIL problem.
Wife needs to get her mom to either act right or go NC until she stops being a bitter Betty.
Shut up about the wife .
@@Batman-lg2zj not to be rude but why?
@@Batman-lg2zj lol,No.
@@Batman-lg2zj why? He's absolutely right because his wife is a pushover
Right that would be the most common response if op was a the wife and her husband acted the same way. Wife should have stopped this a long time ago
With regards to the mother in law's treatment of the stay at home dad, why has his wife not confronted her mother and called her out for her behavior?
Story !: Guy needs a spine. Wife needs to have stood up to her mom belittling her husband for years.
Yea, I was wondering why he kept going over to MIL’s house, taking the ungrateful woman homemade cookies and trick or treating at her house, only to be on the receiving end of cruel taunts and jabs. I would stop giving someone like this any attention and they wouldn’t see their grandchildren unless my SO took them!
@@stirrednotshaken4823 I mean seeing your dad just repeatedly be a doormat cant be good long-term
Exactly!
@@stirrednotshaken4823 OP's wife actually berated him for publicly exposing her mother's crime. And she had to know it was a criminal act because she's an attorney. So that tells you where the wife's loyalty lies. It's likely that the two of them have had previous discussions about the mother's behavior and she took no steps to stop it. Knowing how his wife feels about tolerating her mother's behavior it's not difficult to imagine that he chose to put up with it for her sake and the sake of their marriage. Also, I wish that one of the people she poisoned would report this to police. When people do things that put others in physical danger and suffer no or too mild consequences, they tend to think they can get away with doing whatever they want.
It's the wife's responsibility to wrangle her mother.
She's only sorry she got caught
Story 1, NTA. Mil needs to butt out and get over herself. Just because she's a traditional woman doesn't mean everyone else has to be. It's mil's fault that everyone is now pissed at her and got herself humiliated. All because of her jealousy and hate that op is a stay at home dad. I'm not surprised that she's refused to contact op and her own daughter for a month and has their numbers blocked. Excuse me?!? Her MOTHER was the one who ruined HER family ties because she can't get over herself. I seriously doubt that the witch is going to apologize for how she's treated op and she's only sorry about what she did because of how it ended, with her humiliated and everyone furious with her.
For a traditional woman she is a bad cook.
She's got a bunch of kids and no husband, how traditional can she really be?
I approve of OP's public shaming! But he's being far too passive still. He needs to pick a fight, cut MiL off completely. If the wife has a problem with that, she can spend the night on the couch.
@@DrownedInExile I agree 💯
Re the wife who fainted from overworking - what does op do to help his wife? What do the kids do in terms of housework? With 6 kids the housework could be divided up between them. Even young children can help out.
Story one: Being seventy eight and bitter is not an excuse for evil behaviour. The mother in law should be told that she will never be welcome at another family dinner, and be allowed only supervised visits with her grandchildren. It's easy to see why her husband left her to raise the kids alone; imagine being married to a toxic witch like her!
OP's wife needs to step up here and call her mother to account. She MUST confront her mother about the way she abuses OP in front of the kids, and about her disrespect in general. If the genders were reversed she would be condemned as a pitiful Mama's boy for not doing so years ago.
Shut up .
OP is just being a pu**y. Just stop coming around with the kids. OP is allowing himself to be a door mat for this woman. Wife is no gem here, she fully knows the kind of person her own mother was and tolerated and enabled it. She advised against the chili contest because she knew what her mother was capable of. It's bullshait to expect OP to confront MIL privately with no witnesses as his wife suggested, wife is an enabler.
If you are going to choose money over family then you have to deal with whatever consequences come with that
I can’t believe how they continue to enable this abusive crazy woman. Why are you bringing her cookies and taking her abuse? Why are you taking the kids to her house for Halloween just to endure her abuse? And then OP’s wife is like why did you humiliate MIL when she tried to make us all sick? Obviously the wife is used to MIL’s crazy behavior and doesn’t realize how toxic and sick it is.
Good point. If the daughter grew up with this toxicity, it's her "normal". She's become accustomed to excusing and defending her mother's abusive behavior. And she needs to see that.
Story 2 if the parents need full time care then I think it’s time for home health care or nursing home and you should be helping with the chores at your home. Wake up or you going to be a widower
This mother-in-law needs to grow up before she cost her daughter her marriage story 1
Probably what she wants! I can just see it in my head now…”Well, I raised you kids by myself so you can do it too. You don’t need a worthless man who won’t go to work and makes you work your fingers off providing for the family.”
The only problem with that is op is the stay at home parent and could get custody plus alimony. Could even use the food tampering incident to have mil no visition with the children.(country, state dependant laws)
Story 1, maybe I’m just an AH but i could never stay with the spineless spouses who let their parents torment their partner. I’d have been long gone if i were the first op.
It shouldn’t be the SO who has to deal with their partners crazy parents, it should be the kid of those parents. It’s just wild to me.
I love how Redditors say ‘get caretakers.’ Does any of them plan on paying for it? I used to ‘be Sarah.’ I learned to step back. At the point I said ‘this I can do, this I cannot’ others helped. Also, some ‘stuff’ just didn’t get done.
Yup.
We looked into in home help when mom was not well… $28-38 an hour, depending on which company. Only one out of seven had an opening for her, (employees were very limited-- patients outweighed caregivers). When she came to set things up, she determined mom required more care than they could handle. So it fell on me-- 24/7, except for a couple hours every other day when a couple of mom’s friends came. Another one of her friends is a retired CNA & came by every day-- a 30mn drive each way. & a sibling that came for a weekend & our oldest who was there for a weekend & mom’s last week.
Mom passed within the month this all started & I thank God for their help.
@@Standinthegap4ever It was tough duty. I’m sorry for your loss. 💜
@@naturalPaths
Thank you.
She was Saved when she passed, that was the most important thing for me.
@@Standinthegap4ever Thank you for sharing. Being saved is everything. Uplifting!
Story 3 hurts my heart so badly. I was raised Catholic. 2 of my 3 children are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. From the moment they told us, we let them know we love them no matter what, and nothing could make us stop. We have now opened our home to foster children who have been kicked out by their families due to being LGBTQ+. Some of the stories we have heard from these kids (from 12 to 17) about how they were treated at home would make anyone cry. I
I am native and traditional, in our religion, gays are also wrong but because it was brought about by us humans my family do NOT out any members whom are gay/lesbian. My brother gay...so what...how about think beyond your own small limitations...using religion.
This is showing the true love of Christ. Bless you.
Lgbt is the full acronym
"Make a choice between your faith and your sister, you immitate your opressor so you dissed her" - Consolidated
S1: WTF. MiL literally tried to poison her own family. She should be facing criminal charges! I approve of OP publicly shaming her, but he's being far too passive still. Pick a fight. Cut her off completely. If wifey has a problem with that, she can go to sleep on the couch.
She could have ended someone’s life, especially the children because, being smaller, they’re more vulnerable to OD on things like this.
If I were the OP in the last story I would double down on calling out the BIL. I would've followed up my question on if he called out his parents for their treatment of his brother with have you or anyone else in the family called out the vile sister who outed the brother? OP is NTA and should continue to call out every family member who is playing the victim game because they got blocked
YUP. They are full of sympathy for themselves and their own inconveniences but not for the brother who got outed and abandoned. That's why they are all lumped together: You are known by the company you keep. OP in the last story might also want to warn BIL that the college funding for the daughter might evaporate if she turns out to be LGBTQ+ in any way. If the grandparents are in charge of that family's financial goals, they have to make sure they do everything the grandparents want no matter how bigoted. Sell your soul territory.
One of the biggest lessons in life that some never learn: Stay away from people that are not kind to you! Don't keep coming back for more and engaging a snake then be surprised when you get bit.
If OP and his wife (but mainly him, because he sees her doing all these things, around the clock, to care for her parents and his Mother and doesn’t step up himself,) are being shamed, then they need to stand up for themselves and stop letting themselves get walked all over. The relatives who are getting on his and his wife’s case need to be told that if they want to see his parents In Law, then they need to make the 12 hour drive to their home, because wife is on doctor-ordered bed-rest. If a woman in her condition drives that distance, then there may later be the death of the demanding man’s Mother, Father and Sister to be added to the family tragedies, because that journey is an accident waiting to happen, with a sick person being behind the wheel. If they keep giving OP and his wife a hard time, then they need to be told in harsher terms what could happen and to stop being so f’ing selfish, entitled and stupid. Do not mince words with these people and if you can do it in a group chat, even better, because sometimes shaming in-front of others will force them to keep their mouths shut.
Has anyone seen Tokyo Ghoul? Yeah... learn about what happens to the main character's (Kaneki Ken) mother. This is the wife's future if the husband doesn't actually support her with the work load, her boundaries, or her overreaching relatives.
Story one don’t bring the witch cookies, tell your wife to control her moms mouth or no contact. It’s not your fault she was a single mother. With her crap attitude no wonder her husband ran.
Story 2 good grief you and the family are killing your wife. She shouldn’t be caring for your mother and everyone else. Geez
S1 OP and relatives should realize that MIL has probably got a damaged frontal lobe or may be completely missing it?
Sounds like OP's wife may develop into a clone of her mother after SHE passes 50?
How long is OP supposed to "bear with" a floozy like MIL? This MIL is enough to try the patience of a saint!
Anyone willing to subject their loved ones to physical pain/discomfort/suffering (to get one over on their SIL ) is absolutely mental. YTA. Don't ever trust her around anything that could be used to harm you or anyone that you love, again. That's if you do not completely disassociate yourself from her for this attempted mass assault on you and your family.
Story 1 is a literal f around and find out kinda deal
NTA - OP should have NO guilt, his MIL has been very condescending for years, she was willing to make her entire family sick - especially the kids, she needed to be outed! My own MIL, years back, never wanted anyone to bring side dishes, she needed the glory. She was a decent cook so we just let her have all the recognition!
Sarah passed out: OP was not wrong in advising Sarah not to drive 12 hours. The addict brother is the problem on a t least one level, if not two levels.
Did he and the rest of the family know she passed out, if they did, this defines TAs.
2nd story, that husband needs to take care of his OWN mother, in whatever way she can be. Your wife needs help, and it isn't caring for your 6! kids and you, while also taking care of YOUR responsibilities.
Story 2 makes me angry, but for the way people are dogpiling on the husband with no evidence. My husband could have written that post. I got TONS of help from him and my kids AND from professional caregivers, but that hasn't stopped the situation from being exhausting. While I had the responsibility 24 hours a day because I was the one who quit my job to do it, he shared that responsibility every moment he wasn't working, and many when he was suposed to be. I would hope if my DH came on here singing my praises and defending me, that he wouldn't be accused of being a deadbeat with zero evidence! Caregiving is hard and takes EVERYONE in the family. The people at fault here are the wife's family, who are expecting her to do the unreasonable.
He’s a man so Reddit hates him
Last story: who needs a brother , that won’t stand up for you ! A family that is not there for you is not a family. How does it matter what their reasons are. Obviously the young man has a lot of pain about this, may be everytime he looks at his brother he will be reminded of what a hypocrite his brother is. He will be reminded how unkind they all are. Let him recoup on his own and this family should give him space.
Agree. Not taking a stand IS taking a stand at this point. If the BIL didn't even say anything about the whole mess to their parents, because of monetary gain, then I wouldn't want to stay on contact with him if I were his brother either. I get it, college is expensive, but I'd rather save up for it myself and stand by my brother. He made his choice and is upset about the consequences.
No no no no. .. . . Divorce your wife if she even dares to defend that woman. The MIL could be in prison for poisoning
Story 3. So some commenters side with the Christian guy who didn't stand up for his younger brother because it was inconvenient to his family's interests. Reminds me of a story about a certain Samaritan.
Yeah, the people who don’t speak up are just as bad as the bigots that scream their lungs out. “They’re paying for my child’s college so we can’t say anything”? Here’s an idea! Pay for your own damn child who may not even GO to college! Or is that another thing that the family is prejudice against? And do mommy and daddy hold that money over their heads in OTHER areas of life? Did they choose the babies name for sil and bil? Or that they won’t pay if sil and bil don’t get a house in X location and raise their child to their standards? Can’t they see they’re no better than toddlers on a leash by letting someone else use money to control their lives?
So he should let his innocent daughter's take a hit to pick fights with his parents, knowing that there is still only a very tiny chance he can change his parents mind, and make any positive difference to his brother. The BIL is not refusing to help out of any pregitous. The Grandparents put him in a spot where he would literally have to chose between his Lb and his daughter, and of course he is going to pick his daughter. Parents are supossed to love their children more than anything and anyone else. A lesson FIL unfortunately never seemed to learn.
@@leahkent3915 here’s an idea! He can pay for his own damn kids who may or may not even GO to college! Wouldn’t that be swell! And he can cut the strings his parents use to puppeteer his life, because I can assure you, the hold this over their heads. He’s using this as a shield to hide his bigotry, just like how his parents are using the Bible as a shield to justify THEIR bigotry. If they were REAL CHRISTIANS, they would love and acceptance him as he is. Cut the f*cling strings, tell them that until they ripped their heads out of their @$$es they won’t get to see their grandkids, and block them on everything until they reread Jesus’s message. If he can’t do that, then he is JUST as bad as them. My parents didn’t have the money to send my sister to school, so they took out loans and got financial aid. They don’t need mommy and daddy’s Bigot Bucks. They’re CHOOSING to be mommy and daddy’s little puppets so they don’t have to explain why they don’t support his brother.
Funny how some people profess to be Christian, but somehow love, tolerance, and treating others as you would have them treat you somehow gets forgotten.
@@Sherwoody Well they think Jesus is "Woke" now. They want that old testament savagery, I'm absolutely convinced religion is a mental defect.
I love her soothing, almost maternal tone.
story 2 it is obvious that all of the elderly people in this story need to be in a nursing home!! find a really nice one and take this HUGE burden off your wife!
Passing out story: 1, married for 27 years and have 6 children. Why in the hell the children aren't made to chip in on the house work? 27 years, I know they arent babies. On can do laundry, one can help clean, one can help cook, their's plenty of help. 2, Where the hell is Op in all this crap letting his wife do all the work. Yes, he might be the bread winner but, he too can chip in or at least lead the damn family by saying, hey you do this and you do this and I'll do this to give mom a break. As for her family they can go kick rocks. It's great they can offer other peopls time w/o lifting a finger to help.
I was helping out at home as soon as I was able, same for all the siblings. Five of us in semi-blended familys in two households gave us valuable life skills.
"Magic book" best description so far.
"Spare toilet paper" always amused me...
Story 2: YTA!!!! OP needs to step up and help his wife!! Why isn't he doing laundry, cleaning and feeding the Kids??? And his wife is caring for HIS wheelchair bound mother!!! Why isn't he getting someone to help her even one day during the week??
He is obviously working outside the home to provide for his wife and six children. Maybe she is willing to swap jobs with OP.
Story 2. Tell her family that road goes both ways.
Chili. You did exactly right. You should forgive but NOT forget. Deal with her as little as possible.
What an unkind thing to do to family...and chili.
1st story makes zero sense. If its a cook off, with the whole family participating, how would anyone know whose food made them sick. The family would have to eat everyone's Chilli.
About the third story: everybody seems to be taking the brother's word for it about 'trying to save money to buy own house' as reason for not taking in the gay brother. What I'm seeing is that, even if he has no problems with his brother being gay, he knew that by letting him stay , even to sleep on the sofa, the parents would likely disown him too, simply for housing his brother, whether or not he stood up to them. So, yes, he really was treating his brother the same as his parents were...and all for money and future inheritance.
This is it.
It's called moral cowardice, not unexpected from the god botherers.
That MIl ruined her own relationship with the family. She’s a horrible, jealous woman. Even, disgusting. I would go very low contact. Not the a hole.
Story 2: What has OP done to help his wife. Nothing! He is in the running for the “AH of The Year award”.
Story #1: OP has a big problem with his mother-in-law, but also a problem with his wife. The wife must be aware that MIL is unhinged, especially after adulterating the family's food. Wife needs to have a serious discussion with her mother to stop with the ugly attitude toward OP. Their spousal relationship is a partnership and if someone is threatening the partnership, as the MIL is doing, the wife needs to stand up to her and put an end to the badgering/belittling.
Our youngest never wanted a store bought costume lol, “What do you want to be?” Their answer was different every year “a car”,
“a dog”, “a Christmas tree”, “a mail box” lol, kiddo challenged me every single year.
I have known people who lived 6+ in a 2 bed apartment. If it was a money thing little bro can help pay for water or utilities. Maybe even some baby sitting. If you care you would find a way
MIL was playing with fire and got burned.
I don’t understand why OP keeps going by the MIL (cookies/Halloween) for any reason when she doesn’t hide that she doesn’t like him or even the kids (since she is so negative around them).
People need to believe other people when they show them who they are. Just my opinion. He shouldn’t ever talk to her. Period. That’s not engaging.
Husband is saying how wonderful his wife Sarah is and how’s she taking care of everyone, WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING TO HELP HER!!
OP! Get your wife some help!!!
In the US, Medicare won’t pay for in home care givers but you could hire an agency to come in at least 3x week to give her a break. The funds can even come out of the parents’ accounts
As my older maried brother would say " Always listen to your wife" after sunnburning his thighs from refusing sunscreen lol
I think the mother in law is so jealous and hates op because she didn't have help like that. This goes beyond gender issues. This is a bitter old woman taking resentment out on him. Because he is the dad that goes that extra mile for his kids and family. That he takes pride in his cooking. Because she doesn't pick fights with the other family members. Just OP. She's just upset that the whole family saw how bitter she truly is.
The op in the second story is not the idiot. They have 6 kids and probably not alot of money. Or else they would already have a caretaker for them. Op is probably working and can't afford to take time off. Also OP is probably taking care of the kids while wife takes care of the parents. They need more help and it's sad that it's all been on them and the dead brother. They only stepped up until the wife got sick. But seems they didn't change much. Why couldn't niece drive the parents up the see their son in the hospital. This feels very off.
This sadly happens and brother doesn't see what he did as bad. But can't understand why his brother would still block him out. Makes me question how close were these brothers really. Because it feels like they weren't really close or brother never defended him that growing up.
Also seems like he wants to be the victim because he made it about OP attacking his religion and not what it really was. Him not wanting to be cut off from his parents money. Also I bet brother could have taken him in but feared his parents backlash and that's the real reason he turned him away. Brother probably isn't aware they don't have a great relationship. Since he is so self-centered. Because note he isn't concerned his brother was kicked out and disowned. He's concerned that his brother isn't talking to him.
You could drive ALL of them. Let her relax on the ride.
Don’t let the age fool you ,she should know better, you do amazing things for your family a gumball machine how cute
I take care of two parents in their 80's and my house and no kids and know how hard it is to pay my bills and take care of them. If you can't take some of the load for your wife I don't see how you can call yourself a man. I know I can't call you a man. I'm a man and I don't take 100% percent of two parents. I've got a step brother that I make help since he's the only other family member around. His wife doesn't help but that because my baby's momma is a looser. Yes she left me for him and the drugs. But she hates that I am around and doing the work he should do for his mother but doesn't want to because it screws up their drugging and wants them put in a nursing home so they will leave quicker and leave them an inheritance. She just wants me gone so they can put them in the home. So man up and grow some balls at least I can shame the step into helping even though he doesn't want to. I make him drive to doctors appointment since I'm to tired to drive any length of time. Yes he's not geetered out when he has to drive since he's scared to drive under meth because he can't hide it when he's on the stuff.
WIFE DIDNT HAVE TIME 2 EVEN EAT !
WTF, lady is taking care of 6 kids and an elderly lady, and OP's family has the gall to complain about her not doing enough.
My neighbors have this arrangement. But he got seriously hurt and in his line of work can no long fight in the cage. He uses to be MMA and he watches the kids while she works.
Lots if people give them a lot of crap but he does teach several forms of martial arts out if his home. I do know they want to open a small dojo.
OP and his wife don’t need her seriously if I were his wife I would be like why are you even trying to contact her? She’s dead to us.
The MIL husband leaving makes complete sense. She is also trying to drive off her own daughters husband so they can both be abandoned and miserable
I don't understand why OP's wife had to do all of that work when he was there and they still have kids at home. Kids should be cleaning and doing their own laundry. OP can cook and help with his own mother.
Prior to 1943 the word homosexual wasn't in the Bible. Also, there is a verse that now states, "Man shall not lay with man" when it used to say, "Man shall not lay with boys". Big difference. There are other very misleading translations. It has made me find a more authentic Bible.
1. No contact with MIL, permanently. The wife is also an AH.
People don’t get that he is probably pulling multiple shifts as well to take care of the finances aswell….. 6 kids don’t pay for themselves
hahahahaha the MIL is hilarious and cute!! The woman is 78 years old for god sake!!
Househusband and MIL story... You are way too nice to that old crone! If I were you, I would say stuff like, "Gee MIL, I am truly sorry you didn't have a very good husband, but you should be happy that your daughter does." And the next time I was nice enough to drop off home made cookies or such to her, and she so snidely commented about using my easy bake oven; I would simply state, "If you don't like my easy bake oven cookies, or appreciate my efforts; I will never again drop off anything home made to you." And then never do anything nice for her ever again! Simple. And why take kids to her house for Halloween? You can trick or treat in own neighborhood, or have wife take them to MIL's house.
There is also this way to reply to nasty, snide comments. Tell her, "My mother used to tell me if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. It's too bad you never learned that from your mother!" Or, "You know MIL, it truly amazes me how someone can reach your age; yet still you have so little maturity or kindness!" There is also keep a recording device in your pocket, to record her nasty comments. Then replay later for wife to hear. And yes, you do have a wife problem as she allows her mother to get away with her cr*p! Age is no excuse for being deceitful, hurtful and nasty! This behavior should be brought into the light for ALL to see! At the end I see you went NC. Keep it up forever, unless she truly gives you a HEARTFELT apology that you believe is sincere. Good luck!!!
Story 2. How many hours does OP work? He can't clean up the house or cook and do dishes and laundry when he gets home? Take care of the home and family when he's off work and let her have a day to herself? Definitely the AH
this is so sad. he sounds like an awesome dad... she's fuckin' jealous cause her kids didn't have that.
Anyone who has a problem with anyone being a stay at home dad in the wife is the one making the money is there a marriage back off, it works for them. They’re happy with it a marriage is two people who work together to make a life for each other.
Nope, she got what was due.
2nd story, yes he is just as judgemental as the parents. Why is it ok to have your own Beliefs but others cant. He is very hypocritical.
I'm from the midwest, but cornbread and cinnamon rolls sounds like really weird sides for chili. Maybe something to nibble on before supper, but certainly not a side dish.
Your MIL is not too smart! Does she not know some of the greatest chefs are MEN,
Op did the right thing. She was willing to hurt her whole family for a ridicules competition. The mil is a wack job
Why the hell is the wife taking care of his parents all day, her parents all night, and still having to come home and do laundry? Why hasn't he done the laundry? And how about stay off top of her for a while sheesh.
MEN, who else noticed that "he" indeed has stereotypical house-husband traits, as does the wife have "boss b@#ch" traits for gaslighting the husband that it had any blame whatsoever to protect her equally crazy mommy?
story 2 - ESH. Both sets of parents are taking her for granted. OP is basically letting her kill herself for caring for a whole family, including elderly. Get that girl some help man, cmon. And she kinda sucks for not speaking up about all this work killing her.
This MIL is going in my list of 10 top worst MIL in Reddit. I just wonder why Op is letting her do what she want .
Op should talk seriously with his wife and tell her from the beginning everything , before that mil try and make the family sick .
Story 2. If wife is caring for her parents during the day, I assume you have a caretaker for your mom during the day. When wife comes home she cleans and cooks for the family and cares for his mom. Husband either needs to either cook and cleans for the family or take care of his mom. And thinking I work all day and need to relax in the evening don’t cut it. He’s working 8 to 10 hours a day while his wife is working at least 16 hours. No wonder she collapsed. She is probably on her feet most of the time while he’s at a sit down job. Don’t know for sure but I bet I’m right. I took care of one parent for 12 hours daily and my brother did the other 12 hours, we had a person come twice a week to give her baths and do health checks and another to come vacuum, clean bathrooms, and mop twice a week. That was hard on both of us as we both had our own health problems. I can’t imagine what it takes to care for 3 elderly parents and do all the cooking and cleaning too.
For S3 i dont agree with the second opinion, the guys brother was thrown out, his life ruined because a family member outed him, something many LGBTQIA+ face or worse. He didnt even stand up for his brother and is expecting things to just stay the same? What if his brother didn't have anywhere to go? What if he didn't have a boyfriend whose family was willing to take him in? Then he would be homeless on the streets with none of his family willing or able to take him in nor even willing to stand up for him.
He deserves to be blocked by his brother and should very well be treated the same as his parents. His younger brother asked for help and it is understandable that the older couldn't help but his brother didn't even have the decency to stand up for him. There are other ways to pay for college especially when they have 17+ years to figure it out and if their parents were going to go back on their word and risk their granddaughter's future because he was being a good brother then they dont deserve to be part of any of their son's families.
He chose to follow the parent's, he can claim he accepts him all he wants but he didn't do anything to support or act on that acceptance.
OP’s mother-in-law really does not like him her loss if she is that close minded who wanna be around her
Story one: nta but your family is for tolerating the negative treatment towards you for so long.
Story 1: Is anybody going to discuss how the wife here is dropping the ball with supporting her husband? How is she is ok with letting her mother verbally abuse him and not supporting him (creating clear strong boundaries about not acceptable behavior, and NOT blaming her husband for MIL's actions and the consequences they brought)? If the genders were reversed I'm sure there'd be LOADS of comments saying "they need to man up and support you" or "you deserve better are you sure you want to stay in this marriage"?
Story 2? Why doesn’t the husband take up some care for the family members? What a tool.
Story 1 i'm sorry but mil had gone way past the point i would have told her to stfu and gone lc with her long before thanksgiving dinner,
how demented do you have to be to poison your family just to get back at someone
I'm from the midwest, born and raised, and I don't get the cinnamon roll thing. i have heard of people putting cinnamon in to the chili
Story 3 bil is wrong for not taking his family in and also should have cut off parents. The brother needed support and help could have gotten a better job and contribute towards buying home. And why is bil waiting for parents to pay for college why are they not starting college fund savings at a bank. So many things wrong with that family
Never never compete with a chilling cook off with a man results will not be good most to all men no about chilli making
That one of the few things my @$$hole step dad knows how to make lol
In story 2 I knew everyone would overlook the lack of help from family members and just yell at him about how hard his wife works, with zero information on what his work life is like. The dudes are always wrong.
Actually, as a woman, I was thinking "he's financially supporting 9 people, probably supplementing the other elders too" but no mention of that, so I presumed long work hours or something high pressure but highly paid. There's very few jobs/careers in this world where one gets well paid for doing nothing...there may not be extra in the cash tin to pay for hired help...
You try caregiving and tell me it isn't hard work. Husband can get off his ass and help. So can the kids.
@@Asongbook Been a caregiver and caretaker my entire life. I agree that kids and hubby can most assuredly do more and it shouldn't be regarded as "doing Mom a favour" either. Both parents should have taught the kids from ages 3 on up that everyone pitches in. However, some family dynamics/mindsets or cultures load up the women's shoulders. I don't agree with it or condone it; sometimes the women themselves, due to past enmeshment in those cultures, see it as their entire burden to carry. Again, I don't agree with it or condone it. However, OP doesn't mention whether or not anyone else, himself included, pitches in, but I'd have to assume family income is coming from somewhere, right? And to be entirely fair, some husbands do work their tushes off to support large families and extended families...We haven't got enough info to actually judge his contribution or their kids.
DEF NTA, OP, but I'm sorry - I just can't imagine anyone putting up with, well, actually I'll just say it: the evil, from MIL, described here. I also wouldn't believe for a second that her "winning" the cook-off would do anything to reduce the vitriole that just oozes out of her. Doesn't anyone stick up for him when she makes those snotty, rude comments?! Like, at least, maybe, his wife?! How would anybody know who's chili made them sick? in a cook-off, you have to try them all, no? I wouldn't be able to accept an apology from her - I wouldn't be able to believe it.
Second story NTA : he wasn’t trying to make her work herself to death.
So those "good Christians" sold out the Brother for $$$$ for their own kid.. my how "christian" of them!! FRAUDS!!
Last Story: "Unfortunately, they were trying to save up for a house and have an 18-month-old child so we wouldn't be able to support him."
Your brother, in the blink of an eye, lost his sister, his parents have turned on him, he's disowned, homeless and destitute. His whole life just got blown apart and the people who are supposed to love him unconditionally just stabbed him in the back. In his hour of need he turned to his big brother for shelter and assistance. How did is big brother respond? "Dude! Sucks mom and dad kicked you out and cut you off. Personally I don't have a problem with it, but we're, like, trying to save up for a house and stuff, plus we've got a new baby, man! I'd love to take you in, but I've just got other stuff goin on, ya know? I'm sure you get anyways I gotta go! Lets talk later kay!?"
Geeee.... can't imagine why he doesn't want to talk to his "big brother" after that crock of shit. I live paycheck to paycheck and can barely afford to take care of myself. If my sister got kicked out of her house and needed a place to stay I'd give her a place on my couch in a heartbeat, financial inconvenience be damned.
Furthermore BIL is a shit Christian. "Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:
I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
*I was homeless and you gave me a room,*
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’
37-40“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me.’ - Matthew 25: 34-40
If you're going to call yourself a Christian then effing act like it. Your brother needed you and you abandoned him because it wasn't convenient for you. He has every reason to hate you just as much as them.
Last story: The irony is that OP's BIL's daughter will probably end up doing something that makes his parents cast her off and will not get college support anyway.... cause karma is a fickle lady.....
S3: There are two sets of people whom I avoid arguing or debating with, Religious & Atheist Lunatics and fanatics.
Story 2: YTA. OP is trash. SIX KIDS!?! Plus, three elderly parents? The parents need to go into facilities or in-home care. OP needs to hire a housekeeper, at least. This is abuse. Wife should run away.
Visiting Bro. OK, people which of you are volunteering to come pick up the in-laws? Yeah. That's what I thought.
BTW, why aren't you doing more to help around the house?
I agree what she did was despicable. However, it really isn't fair to give a list of demands for her to say and then 'think about forgiving her' if she does so. You apparently have already made a decision that you will forever hold it over her head. Please find it in your heart to sincerely forgive her or cut her out completely. At least then the family can move on.
Story one doesn't make sense because they were eating everyone's food so they wouldn't be able to pin point who's Chilli made them sick
Okay I don't understand This Woman's doing all this and you're doing what. So what you come home from work and sit on your ass and watch your work. You're basically saying she's working 15 hours a day why can't you help out.
story 3- ahh, I was waiting for the money to come up. Always does w/religion. So, how much $$ was his brother's well-being worth, then? huh? Tuition?! I would rather take loans !!! (NOT "STUCK" as one ignorant commentator noted) !!! than let my brother be disrespected and left hanging like that. Its disgusting, and they should all be ashamed! Enabling disgusting (from the parents) IS being disgusting, ESPECIALLY when the whole reason is MONEY. def NTAH OP.
These people are exactly why people are fleeing from these toxic religious groups by the droves. Jesus himself would slap them man - they're missing that dude's whole point. I also had a gay younger brother, and even with all our immediate family full support (as much as we knew how to at that time anyway), he went through absolute hell in our small religious town until he left for college, so I am triggered a bit here.