how to *separate your worth from your looks* as a woman (male validation, true friendships, mindset)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 73

  • @Desrayyy_
    @Desrayyy_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    As a south Asian, we constantly get criticised for our looks and our parents tell us to be a,b and c. This occurs a lot in the Asian community and I’m sure in others too, but it’s so liberating to see videos like this where I can actually show people my interests and not just put effort into my looks. I sometimes wear make up for me and I know I also have more to me than that ❤

    • @Jenna-vj2ju
      @Jenna-vj2ju 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      As a fellow south asian, I completely agree and love that you brought it up. Those comments about our skin tone or weight are so hurtful and uncalled for.

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I hear you lovely. I am so happy to hear you feel excited to share your interests with people - that is beautiful! 💘🥰 Sending you a big hug xxx💚

  • @floralfaun
    @floralfaun 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is such a relief to know im not alone in feeling this way. Im working to take some pressure of myself in order to start living. Thank you for your videos.

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are certainly not alone my love. 💘💘💘 We see and get you 🥰🥰💘💘

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Another great thoughtful video 😊 I think a lot of people mistake "fans" for friendship. I've also found in the past when I'd dress up, I'd have people compliment my looks and their attitudes towards me would change. I refer to it as a "fan" reaction because it feels very shallow, fairweather and mindless.
    It's sad that many people feel the need to cater to "fans" by overly focusing on their appearance instead of good, genuine friendships

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      So well said I’ve seen this and gone through this and also seen secondhand how it can end poorly
      :(

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very interesting and true! Such a clever way to put it lovely 💗💗💗

  • @annabelwigs
    @annabelwigs 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    WOOOOOOOOOOW! Lessie this is so insightful and another AMAZING, wise video! Thank you for this beautiful video, such an important message! I actually teared up at the end! Go girl, love you and so proud of you

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much my love!🥰😘❤️✨ You are the best - love you so much xxxxxxxxx

  • @Maria-gd4vf
    @Maria-gd4vf 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I want to be beautiful to feel confident and not care about what people would think of me. I know that when I feel pretty, I don't have social anxiety anymore.

  • @LS.356
    @LS.356 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I love your videos

  • @Cherish_ddy
    @Cherish_ddy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Your content is so inspiring🥺

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      aw that makes me so happy 💘🥰💗✨

  • @missbabybunny
    @missbabybunny 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I discovered your channel yesterday. And I rewatch your videos everyday! Thank you 🥺🫶🏼💗

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      omg this makes me so so happy! 💘🥰💗✨ thank you for commenting lovely xxxxxx

  • @yenni992
    @yenni992 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    We have beautiful voices.

  • @tas64
    @tas64 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I needed this. Thank you!

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      you a more than welcome my love xxxxxx

  • @Maryam-cy6cv
    @Maryam-cy6cv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    To every woman out there you are so much more than your looks and you are loved!!😽😽💕 Love your videos Alessia 💕

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      aw thank you for your special and beautiful words lovely 💘🥰❤💗 xxxxx

  • @myselflovejourney
    @myselflovejourney 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This video gives me so much MUSLIM vibe girl.. I think we start to understand them and their values...

  • @daniellelouise44
    @daniellelouise44 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Alessia this is such a powerful video! ✨ Gosh it breaks my heart how many years and years I have spent focussing on trying to look attractive. I genuinely can't remember a day when I haven't worried about my appearance. I have been repeating the affirmation you shared in your last video each day and adore it - "my main focus is on experiencing joy" 🌻I love my mindset, I love my perspectives and I love how I respond to challenges xxx You are golden and your passion shines through 💖 keep shining 💖

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for your kind and special words lovely. 💘🥰 You are so strong and I am proud of all the work you are putting in - future you will thank you 🥰💘❤💗💚✨ Sending a big hug your way xxxxxx

  • @mabel.222
    @mabel.222 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Please don’t stop making these, you’re really helping me at the moment x💓

    • @jordhailwood
      @jordhailwood 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      this is lush ❤❤ @alessia

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      💘💘💘@@jordhailwood

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      aw bless you!💗💗💗💗 I've got you girly xxx🥰🥰🥰

  • @felicitase9727
    @felicitase9727 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I have been struggling with this for so long so I'm sooo grateful that I came upon this. Our lives are not about looking good and being attractive but about living to the fullest and making meaningful contributions to this world. I feel like it's almost impossible not to judge yourself based upon your looks when you're on social media. And honestly I think it's fine to base SOME of your confidence on your looks. But nowadays I feel like many people, mainly girls, only base their worth on their outer appearance which is just doomed because throughout our lives, certain events will alter and mark your body in certain ways and I fear that when this happens, these people will feel worthless because they didn't foster other things that gave them a sense of self worth.
    I still have an incredibly long way to got with this but I'm glad that this issue is being discussed more. Thank you so much for this video, Alessia.

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sending you lots of love my lovely 💘😘❤

  • @PixieFan900
    @PixieFan900 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Oh my god thanks for this , I requested a similiar video and you delivered !! You’re the best girly x

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes! You did! It was inspired by your comment! 🥰💘💗

  • @mimi-iy7jv
    @mimi-iy7jv 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I really like this because as a woman I feel as though I have to be model attractive all the time. Otherwise, I won’t get compliments or someone's approval or attention, I’ll be left feeling undesirable and unimportant.
    Whereas I see men get compliments or approval or attention for being funny or intelligent, like I wish to receive more of that attention than attention for my looks because it makes me think "oh this is what I'm good at this is what I'm supposed to be" and then a large part of me is unhappy and completely exhausted because humans really were not put here to be model statues for the public to look at and admire that seems like such a limited life of human intelligence and creativity.
    I'll even notice that before I walk my dog, I think to myself in the morning "wow I'm so ugly this morning, my face is puffy from the food I ate last night, and my skin feels awful I need to wash my face and depuff and drink water" instead of walking my dog and I sort of just degrade myself in the mirror subconsciously, and I hadn't notice it until now because the thoughts are so quiet and subtle it don't hear it you just feel it. You open up such a discussion for women to admit the insecurities they face and the pressures they feel to be beautiful.
    I've neglected my personality/mind for a long time because of this and a lot of the times I can feel like I'm watching people watch me. This need to be perfect on camera or even when no one is watching because I can't be caught "ugly", it would ruin my life, no one would like me, and I'd be undesirable. But all I'm doing is creating an audience of people that only like me because of my looks and not who I really am. I feel as though I am being an image or ideal for someone and I'm sort of lost in who I really am, feels weird, like I'm becoming 2d
    On social media people see the best of me, my best poses or best facial expressions, when I'm intentionally setting myself up in a way to be attractive with makeup and doing my hair, best outfit. Though no one is seeing the faces I make when I'm extremely concentrated or focused, I can tell you it's not picture perfect, and no one is seeing me when I'm angry and flaring my nostrils and no one is seeing me when I'm crying, and my face is puffy so.
    I feel like in groups of women my age that's the only time I am allow myself to be unattractive in all my ways because I am not trying to impress anybody. In a way us women are at such a war with being unattractive because to us it feels like we lost the love of our life if we are not, and we tell ourselves the only way a man will like us is if we are attractive in the ways society tells us to be.
    watching my mother grieve over her appearance because she's only getting older and older, which to her means "less attractive' and "less undesirable' and i see her crave to have a husband. But if we as woman define ourselves as more than our looks, I think we can really heal ourselves and revolutionize in a way we've never seen women do before.

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It's truly important to recognise and value ourselves beyond just our physical appearance. You're absolutely right that our worth extends far beyond how we look, and embracing our intelligence, humor, and creativity can lead to a more fulfilling life. Your insights about the pressures women face are profound, and I believe your journey toward self-acceptance and empowerment can inspire others to do the same. Keep being you lovely 💘🥰💗❤😘

    • @awryinatlanta
      @awryinatlanta 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you for sharing so bravely and boldly 💗

  • @mariel799
    @mariel799 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You're such a beautiful human and this video made me tear up :,) thanks for sharing these perspectives

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Awwww you are beautiful inside and out my love! Thank you for your kind words. Lots of love xxx💘💗

  • @alkagrover7420
    @alkagrover7420 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank You much
    I really needed this..Literally My whole life .❤
    Love From India

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Aw you are MORE THAN WELCOME! 💘🥰😘💗 Sending my love to you in India xxxx

  • @kimayanatekar9336
    @kimayanatekar9336 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Alessia. I've been grappling with this a lot lately, trying to figure out strategies that will really work and trigger a deep shift within myself in relation to this topic. The incessant pursuit of beauty is a sickness in the society we live in today, almost a disease. I've been trying really hard to cure myself of this disease. You have a very powerful voice. ❤ Lots of love!

  • @juliajalonendelera4282
    @juliajalonendelera4282 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    this is such an important and precious message💖💖

  • @aditijoshi251
    @aditijoshi251 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This was so helpful ❤

  • @cp8898-brb
    @cp8898-brb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    thank you so much for this!! I love your videos also would love to see your lip combo:)

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      aw thanks lovely 🥰💘Oooo I will have to find the lipstick! xx

  • @kristilu1987
    @kristilu1987 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Love your content, just found it today! Keep doing these video, they bring so much value ❤

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      aw welcome to this TH-cam community my love! 💘🥰 xxxxx

  • @LanNguyen-iu3oe
    @LanNguyen-iu3oe 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ms. Alessia! Thank you so much for your content. I stumbled upon you yesterday and have binge-watched quite a few videos and am excited to continue implementing your advice and embracing your love and words of encouragement! You are so right-with a shift in our deeply ingrained thoughts towards ones of feminism, self-validation, and authentic purpose, women can take back their self-worth and understand our value in this patriarchal world.
    Please keep on being your authentic you and using your talent and hard-work to bless us all!! You are much appreciated ❤️

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well hello! 💘🥰💗 Thank you so much for your kind words! It means the world to me to hear that my content has resonated with you! 🥰
      You are much appreciated too my love. Sending a big hug your way xxx

  • @marciafab7
    @marciafab7 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You are my real life Beautiful Barbie! 💗

  • @justarandomperson9374
    @justarandomperson9374 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This video made me cry. I appreciate your work so so much ❤️😭😭

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Aw bless you! I'm sending you the biggest hug xxx💘🥰💗❤😘

  • @JadesDiaries
    @JadesDiaries 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    A much needed video! Thanks!

  • @SabraAhmed-fd5si
    @SabraAhmed-fd5si 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    great message:) lot of girls need to listen to this x

  • @benlearoyd7098
    @benlearoyd7098 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think this is your best video to date

  • @Notyourgirl-nv7lt
    @Notyourgirl-nv7lt 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your content makes my heart feel full

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      you've made my day 💘🥰💗❤✨

  • @namzterin14
    @namzterin14 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    How did you build a vegan community around you in real life?! I have online community, and my friends don’t judge me & accept my food choices & are open to learning about it, but totally not open to actually changing their diet. Can feel isolating at times not having connections IRL to share such an important part of my lifestyle with

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hey lovely! 💘💘 I'm glad to hear that you have a supportive online community and friends who respect your food choices! Building a vegan community in real life can definitely present some challenges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when you find like-minded individuals to connect with. One way to start is by seeking out local vegan meetups, events, or even joining a vegan cooking class or group fitness activity. Remember, even if you feel isolated at times, know that you're not alone, and there are many others out there who share your values and lifestyle. Sending you warmth my lovely fellow vegan ! 🌱💚

    • @namzterin14
      @namzterin14 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@alessiasutherberryI appreciate this response so much 🫶🏼 thank you love! Will try these ideas ✨💟

  • @sunny-go6xf
    @sunny-go6xf 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Alessia, I just discovered your channel, your videos really help please do not stop, keep posting, the community in your channel is amazing, exactly what I need, thank you so much for your videos, 🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! I'm grateful to have you as part of our wonderful community. 💘Your encouragement means the world to me. Sending you lots of warm hugs! 💖🤗💖🤗💖🤗

  • @mathildelaurens4671
    @mathildelaurens4671 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    thank you♥

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      you are more than welcome 🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @marinaalmeida6693
    @marinaalmeida6693 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    There is so much to think about in this precious video that I watched it twice in a row 🩷

    • @alessiasutherberry
      @alessiasutherberry  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Aw bless you!!!!!! Your comment made me smile 😘🥰 xx