I used to listen to the lessons just to be able to feed the missionaries. Lol! They helped us do a lot of yard work when I was newly married and we were working on updating stuff at our new house. Certain things these young men would say to me convinced me we should be a safe, nurturing, relaxing place for them to come whenever they wanted to. My husband and I were in our mid 20's at the time so we were not really that much older than these guys. I always insisted they take drinks, food, or eat BBQ with us after yard work. I could tell they sometimes visited because they were tired and just wanted to relax in some air conditioning. I also told them to visit our back yard anytime we were not home and feel free to relax and take food and drinks out of our deck fridge. I hope it helped. They worked so hard. Our doors were always open. We even went to one of the guys weddings.
Yes you are wonderful but these man made religions are not good. U didn’t exactly say u were part of a religion but if u have these ppl coming to your house to do work.. well I have to wonder. Why do u have ppl coming to your house to do work? When ppl come to my house.. we pay them. It’s not a church thing either. Maybe I got u wrong.. cuz a cppl of sentences doesn’t always tell the entire story but what I read.. I def didn’t feel good about it.😩
@@kimboslice9445 It was like 25 years ago now. However, if I remember correctly, my husband was installing a little pond in our backyard once time when the guys stopped by. He was figuring out the electric to run the pump or something. The three of them discussed that for a while. I then invited the kids to swim because it was hot and I knew they were walking all around. My husband offered them swim trunks. They said they were not allowed to swim for insurance purposes. They then said they were allowed to do yard work though. We did offer to pay them more than once. They said they were also not allowed to accept money or gifts. They consented to accepting food. So we fed them for about a year, whenever they would stop by. They helped us with yard work 2 or 3 times total. One of the young men was always the same but who he was with changed sometimes. I tend to be a welcoming person. I do not have a religious agenda. I actually grew up in what many consider a cult. Plus, as I have already stated, my husband and I were only a couple of years older than these guys. We were new in town and had just bought our first house. I also had a couple of friends in high school who were Mormon and I knew some of the struggles they faced as teens in the church. I went with them to a few Super Saturday dances, which were super fun. However, it was clear to see a lot of pressure was on my friends. Hopefully, we were a safe place for these young men. I assume we were since we were invited to the main guys wedding reception like 2 or 3 hours from our house. We went, and brought a nice gift too.
The missionaries always helped us move when we moved over the years. Those guys are always working for no money. Literally loading up the moving trucks for us with all the heavy furniture we couldnt carry. We need to lend the helping hand. I appreciate you.
Lauren is a friend from high school! I didn’t know she was doing this pod! She is one of the kindest and funniest people you’ll ever meet. You guys will love her. Proud of you for sharing your story! ♥️
@@laurenrogers8787 The bulldog’s mom!! I’m listening to this now I’m so proud of you!! ♥️ ugh I remember going to the party for your mission reveal where we found out where y’all were going and how this was your #1 dream. I am DEVASTATED that this is what happened…. 😔 I had no idea.
I'm so inspired by her amazing story and journey. I was born with a hip disorder that has caused me to have close to 50 hip surgeries and hip replacements. It has made me unable to do a lot of things like hiking and riding a bike as well as walk with a horrible limp. I've found while dating in the Mormon church that most of the active RM type of men I would go on a date with would look down so much at me because of my disability. I was told everything from it was my fault for being disobedient in the preexistence, it was my parent's fault for not being faithful enough, or I just didn't believe enough that God could heal me. They would fully believe I was a lesser person because of my disability and I was even told more than once I didn't deserve a favored man of God or children because of it. Now that I've left the church and talked to many exmembers from around the country I've learned parent's and church leaders had taught this horrible view to these young men. It makes me so sick and sad at the same time. But I found someone who looks beyond my disability, loves me for me, and we have two beautiful babies who are worthy of everything. ❤
I'm sorry that you've had that experience :( I too have a disability (Cerebral Palsy) that has affected my life. Those who have said that it is your fault (or your parents) have not read the scriptures. Jesus himself was asked that question and responded appropriately. I have a friend who was paralyzed from the neck down in a sports accident shortly after returning home. I have realized that I can do my best to be a good friend/human being to those around me.
I myself am an active member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint have a disability i was born with a brain bleed at birth and I just had a posterior fossil decompression surgery back in march after about a years time to figure out what was wrong, and I to have cerebral palsy and I’m married and have two daughters my youngest also has disabilities . Lauren you have such great strength for what you have been through and your determination to push yourself to do the best and be the best you can I admire you for that fiscal pain is a real thing
Lauren, my heart goes out to you as a fellow disabled mom. When I became a mom, I had Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS). My son and I played many games that involved me laying down on the floor and being very creative in inventing games that led to an active little boy jumping, dancing, bouncing while I just moved my arms. It wasn't the childhood I wanted to give my son, but it was reality.
I found out I was schizophrenic and bipolar 3 months into my mission(2009). Was sent home. No apology for my trauma(I was scared out of my mind when I had a mental breakdown. No family near me to help me through it. Just a bunch of men that I barely knew(companions)). The Mormon church did absolutely no psych evaluation prior to sending me out. At least the military does psych evaluations before they'll allow somebody to join up.
@@DMRJ53 much appreciated. Meds and therapy have helped me greatly improve in life(as well as leaving the church, finding an online game to make friends in a way I feel comfortable, getting a dog to help me have a reason to wake up everyday, etc).
@@bendragon1000 What did you name your dog? Animals are tremendously helpful to all of us suffering. I’m happy that you were able to get out of that. Take good care of you!♥️
Total empathy here my mission left me ill anxious and with low self esteem for many years. Only to find out years later others had suffered as I did. Central America should have been the most amazing experience yet I was exposed to a mission president who had no sense of our safety and discriminated on numerous occasions. Sadly affecting my health for years. A young woman put on a bus alone for 13 hrs to arrive in San jose at 1 in the morning, with no one to meet me alone with no knowledge of where to go. Forced into a taxi with 2 men who luckily found the church.. To find 2 sleeping elders who had no knowledge I was there. Put in a dark room and left all night.. Horrible experience and many more.. He was never held accountable.
Thank you Cara for bringing up the point that sometimes sexual problems develop during marriage. That is my story and I was literally like "yes yes yes" when she brought that up. And Lauren's explanation of painful sexual experiences and the advice to seek out a pelvic floor PT was gold. I had never heard someone explain this and I am so thankful for this info!!
I remember when my brother went on his mission in the 1990’s and being told not to tell him the bad that was going on at home. So he had no clue that when he left my mom fell into a deep depression. To this day my older brother still blames me and said it’s because I was a bad teenager. I’ve never stood up and said “no it’s because you went on a mission!” I know no matter what I say it won’t make a difference so I take the blame. I was there, he wasn’t. I saw what happened and he didn’t. Won’t change what happened and he is the perfect child in my parents eyes..so I just go with it. You can’t argue with a narcissist (my dad) and my mom is trying to just survive. So I just go with it. Better than making things harder on my mom. Don’t need the asshole father to take things out on her. 48:31
I am going to make it my “mission” to be transparent and supportive to these poor kids being bullied and abused accepting these mission calls. I’m going to be there for them.
I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue several years ago, while mine is not as severe as Lauren’s it is debilitating at times. I completely agree that it or can be thought of as not a real problem. Learning to pace your self is a hard ask when you have been used to continually being on the go. I still do to much then pay for it for several days. Horrified at the pressure and untrue teaching Lauren experienced. She should be compensated by the Mormon church. X
Yes, but there's much more damage beyond that. People that go through this are mentally, emotionally, and often physically damaged and traumatized by what they've gone through. High-demand religion(s) is just another name for a CULT. Dangerous and devastating.
So many of us gave everything we had to the church. And when we left there was no thanks for your time, talents, money, etc. Instead it's "don't let the door hit you on the way out." It really hurts. It's not like I need recognition or even the tithing I gave or my service or labor back. I just wish they didn't destroy my reputation and make me a virus to my friends and family.
Let’s not forget the leaders of the church are human and make mistakes. If you went because you wanted to please God by trusting this as His work I think there will be no regrets . If you did it because you wanted to be “heal” or make people proud of you or whatever then that is when it gets harder I feel
@@ClaudiaSoriadeWalker Here’s the thing though. I can forgive mistakes. But the leaders of the church are not just making mistakes. They are deliberately lying about and covering up major deal breaking issues. They are asking members to offer their lives for half truths. Then when someone leaves because they find out about the deception, the leaders slam them with labels and stories of self destruction. (Example: Apostates leave the church and it destroys their lives) They create boogeymen out of those who leave the church in order to scare the active members into staying in the boat. But in doing so what they do to the exmember is tarnish reputations, destroy relationships, end marriages, estrange family members, hurt livelihoods. In short, the leaders at the top create an atmosphere that is incredibly toxic for both those who leave the church and the loved ones of said “apostates”. My whole point is that it’s not the mistakes of the leaders. They do this on purpose. And it’s not the fault of the members or exmembers. It’s on the leaders.
@@carolynaitken7632 I understand that idea. That is what I always felt as well when I was in the church. Believe it or not, I truly don't regret the tithing or time I spent. To me it was never about giving it to the church. It was about showing God that I loved him and would sacrifice whatever I needed to for him. But my point isn't about blessings you do or don't get from paying tithing or serving. It's about the apostles and prophets asking for literally everything you have, (time, talents, all that you have or may have in the future) under half truths and then destroying your life after you find about the other half. You seem truly sincere, and I respect that. I would challenge you to take that same sincerity and listen to the stories of exmormons you may know. You don't have to even engage in what made them leave the church. Just ask them about how they were treated by their family and friends after leaving the church. But here is the key. Ask why they feel like they were treated that way. If you talk to even a handful of exmormons, you'll discover a lot of lives that have been torn apart by the way the apostles and prophets have branded "apostates".
@@MrPhillipjac I am sorry to tell you this but nobody is lying here. You just did not want to seek in your youth for yourself. Now you feel betrayed. I feel the way the church is manage here is different than other countries. For example I am Mexican and I grew up in the covenants of the church. I was never judge for going to church in pants. Never even felt judge by it. The people in my ward did not care what you wore as long as you wanted to be there. Here in the States the issue of the clothing is ridiculous. I never heard of such thing as sex being bad. I knew sex was a sin IF doing before getting married. Here in the states we have all this woman who have a hard time giving themselves to heir husbands because they way they were taught it is old and not accurate. The leaders can give us instructions to do (like in any church out there) we also get to use our free agency to follow or not.
Some of this runs parallel to my mission experience. I had health issues come up during the first few months of my mission. I was pushed to keep proselytizing even though it turned out that I was sick enough that I could have died. When I tried to go home early--even if only for a short time to recover--my mission president wouldn't take any action because he saw it as me asking to cancel a "prophetic calling."
My son served his mission in France. We got so many uplifting letters and emails from him. We found out after he returned that he had been thrown in jail. Twice. He has never talked about what happened...it was pretty traumatic for him.
Part of being a missionary is learning what is an acceptable lie vs an acceptable truth . if you tell your family and friends the truth of what you are experiencing, you are no longer trusted! Members don't desire the truth, they desire what they believe to be true!
This is sick.The church is sick.All for nothing.The Mormon Church is a lie. The book of Mormon is a lie. Smith was a warlock. All this suffering for a lie. People put themselves thru hell and mental illness over nothing. I was a Mormon. It is an illness. A mental illness.
I watch many of the Mormon Stories Podcasts and have learned so much from them. But this one was especially a special podcast for me, getting to listen to Lauren. Such a wonderful person, so amazing. And John, you moderated it all together so well and with such compassion. I am so glad that Lauren has found such peace outside the toxic teachings of the Mormon church. You have a lot to contribute to the world. And I so love you finding your sexuality.
I also have CFS (ME) and have had it for decades. I was in demanding callings (never say no!) and received numerous blessings from bishops, stake presidents, and even a GA. I was diligent (scrupulous) about doing everything required of me to be healed. Prayers/Blessings never worked. .
TCM doc. DAvid LU in Fridley, MN Cured me of Fibro. & CFS but I do avoid tons of food groups to stay good. Best of luck!!~ ( it is so individual/ so please know I am just trying to help).
I also have ME. The severe form. I’ve been bed bound for years. It took my life. Now I just exist in pain. Sorry, Lauren.. I hope you get some answers ❤
The mission president saying a prayer reminds me of a bit in the West Wing episode "Noel." Leo tells Josh the following story "This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. "A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. "Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on "Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'" And this is just a retelling of the parable of the Good Samaritan. This mission president didn't show love or concern except for himself. He shirked his responsibility as a human being and as a leader.
Lauren, I really feel for you. I remember working my butt off every day of my mission, I was obedient to a T but I had a lot of issues meeting the quotas the mission president wanted us to meet. In my exit interview my mission president said, “Well Elder, you finally learned how to be a good missionary” since we were finally having numerical success in our area, but that really hurt because he didn’t see me as a good missionary for nearly 2 years. And things only started to be better stress-wise and numerically because I started to not care about what the mission president wanted and tried to focus on the people and what God wanted, and I felt that despite what he felt God was happy with me. Everything that you said is true for my mission as well, it’s an unspoken culture where you have to be the most baptizing missionary and ignore health concerns to work from sunrise to after sunset every day for 2 years. Even though I have wonderful memories and grew a lot from my mission, the leaders care nothing for you and you’re expected to be perfect and work like a robot, even though they explicitly tell you to not teach like you’re a robot. There’s also a lot of micromanaging that goes into it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, and I really hope the Church will realize how toxic they’ve let mission culture get and start to make changes.
What an amazing and important episode. I am in my late 60s and feel thankful to have some new tools (things I learned from this episode) to help younger family members and friends who may need a listening ear or advice down the road. And this is exactly the reason I'm loving the addition of Carah to the podcast. Now off to listen to part 2.
Well said John, in reference to those who believe they are speaking for God. I decided a while back that if there is a God, that God will inspire me, not some other person about my direction.
I feel like the church should be financially responsible for the disabilities Lauren has as a direct result of the conditions and culture of her mission. They should be covering her medical expenses as "repentance" for the neglect and mistreatment she received when she got so sick.
@@laurenrogers8787 that is a sad truth. Their legal team is crazy big. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I thought my mission was bad… I’m sorry it was so awful. That mission culture of enduring suffering without complaint is so horrible. I’m sorry 😞
Hi Lauren, I can't imagine the struggles you went thru losing glutens and dairy and then serving your mission. Trying to control your diet in another country, absolutely crazy. I lost glutens, dairy, eggs and several other foods some 20 years ago; it's entirely irresponsible for you leaders to have sent you on a mission with this health issue! Only someone who has experienced it understands the health problems you experienced! I can't imagine trying to be a missionary while experiencing this condition! I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone, ever, its that painful, that difficult to live with. I'm in ahh that you are still alive, stress kills and the lack of gluten makes one susceptible to it and a hand full of other physical problem! You are absolutely awesome Lauren. Best wishes
I absolutely hate the comment I’m making here but a lot of mission leaders and authorities in the mission dept at the COB didn’t like sister missionaries to begin with, and would’ve seen Lauren’s health issues as the rationale to end sisters’ involvement as missionaries. Period. We’re too much bother, elders have Phood & are better suited. It’s crazy.
I was a missionary in Switzerland, German speaking almost 4 decades ago. I was 24 years old when I went. I found the sisters consistently out performed the elders! They taught more discussions each week, were more mature and friendlier! I experienced the box of chocolates of elder companions, but always looked forward to speaking with sisters, learning from them and just associating with someone who's ego wasn't inflated... They were there to do the work. They didn't get promotions from their efforts, usually just more work! They were sent to places elders were not welcome. In terms of mental health on a mission, I'm grateful to the sisters for being a collective voice of reason. They made the experience much more tolerable! My mission was a love-hate experience and Im not sure I would have tolerated the BS without sister missionary friendship and support! The leadership of the Mormon church doesn't understand what a gem they have in the sister missionaries! One doesn't have to be smart to lead. My personal experience was very few mormon leaders possessed any skills for leading... meant from an assessment stance, not judgmental!
@@rebeccalinford9152 So upsetting and shout out to you too Sid Vicious! Another thing that I do not understand with the Church's vast wealth is why they cannot up the living conditions of all missionaries. And to think these are our precious children who thrown out there at such a young age. I was upset to learn of missionaries who die on a regular basis. If the purpose of a mission is to indoctrinate these people for life it would make sense to treat them better. This whole prostelizing is such a big part of our identity, but I can't help but think there's gotta be a better way
I had a lot of difficulty being sick from celiac & complications of celiac while on my mission. And my mission president's daughter had celiac so he was actually quite supportive, but a lot of members were pretty clueless and would regularly feed me things that I shouldn't have had.
My brother in law is ex-Mormon who left his mission early. As a result of the things he experienced my sister is compelled to care for any missionaries in our area. They know where to go for a cold drink, a home cooked meal in an air conditioned, nice home and that they will leave with more than enough snacks and drinks to stock their fridges. It’s crazy how little care these young missionaries get and how little they feel they deserve as they are “serving”. Great interview!
I served my mission in Osorno Chile from 08-10. We were reactivators for a huge portion of my mission. We taught a lesson made by Elder Corbridge called Abide with me or Permaneced with the goal of shaming people back to church. It worked for a bit but didn’t last. Good people and great members but the church as a whole let them down. My MP’s main concern was keeping the good name of the church. That’s all that mattered to him.
This was a wonderful interview with a lovely guest and two warm compassionate hosts. The honesty and decency of all three was truly inspiring. I learned so much from this discussion on so many levels and across so many topics. And even down to the last 15 minutes the thoughtful but frank sharing of women's health issues was a real public service for women and girls as well as the men who love and support them was excellent. Thank you very much for this thoughtful, kind and civil program. Warm wishes to all of you for your work and courage.
1:48:41 Lauren your story is so powerful. I have arthritis and as a believing member I also experienced all these feelings. Now I have so much more joy living the here and now with my disability
2:13:00 My jaw dropped when you said her solution to the painful sex was to have a baby. That's not a cure-all. Wow. You shouldn't tell someone to become a parent for life as a possible medical fix. Come on!
Lauren - I developed ME/CFS and POTS from long covid - and also left a cult like church right before my illness. Miguel Bautista from CFS Recovery is such a GREAT resource in recover. I know this podcast is a couple of years old - but I hope you are doing better - and watching Miguel gives me hope that I won't be like this forever, and neither do you! I feel like I've walked you path - and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!
So interesting and informative. Good host questions. Lauren was very open in her story. She has educated a lot of us. Thank you for bringing this show to us.
This just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you went through all of that on your mission. I've had mono and it plain sucks!!! I doubt you remember but we were in the same ward from 2009 until we left the church (my husband in 2014 and me and kids a few years later).
I cannot fathom having mono, being neglected, freezing in a room, starving and on top of that as if that doesn’t make you weak enough, having to tract ALL DAY up to 12 hours in the elements. I just cannot even fathom. My god.
John's speech about healing blessings not being real was Soo excellent. We're so lucky to have his wisdom and professional training in science! PERFECTION! 🥰 THANK YOU JOHN
Wow. I am so glad to have given the church both middle fingers before they sent me off to raise more money while being treated like total crap. Because F*** that. What an awful experience.
So well said! “They were suppose to be the good guys”. That is very much how I have felt and I’ve been let down so much! You can only be let down so many times before you finally break! When trauma from my childhood came back I really realized that I was never going to be protected by the church. They were never going to help me and history had shown that over and over again! My therapist knew my dad growing up and when I finally let him know what my dad is truly like he was shocked! The outward appearances were far different than what he is truly like.
My uncle served a mission somewhere in South America a long time ago. He passed away in his sleep due to a gas leak in his apartment. I noticed when a missionary passes away while they're serving. Their death is some what glorified. I remember my parents saying, "your uncle is so special. God needed him to teach those souls who are currently stuck in the spiritual prison." insane!
I can relate - my brother died from suicide on his mission, but my family couldn't cope- so they spun a story that he was murdered - because it's better to be murdered than take you own life ( I know, crazy, but it's a long story) - they wanted so much for him to be a martyr - I didn't even know he died by suicide until I was grown with and married with children and I happened to get a copy of his eulogy.....I can't even tell you what this has done to my faith and can you say trust issues...lol
@@tandrews615oh my this is so sad I’m so sorry. No child (I mean they are so young when they go) should feel they have no one to talk to, no power, and feel so desperate that’s the only way out. No wonder they could not accept the reality and had to go into denial. This is the worst outcome I’ve seen on these podcasts - absolutely tragic so sorry
I grew up in the Catholic Church. I can SO TOTALLY see what happened on your mission, happening to me!! EVERYTHING is about “your immortal soul”. Well, that’s great but I need help NOW!! All the anger is coming back! I gave up so much of my life for a church that when I needed help, just wanted me to go away!!! NO HELP. NO COMPASSION. NOTHING. It’s not right. No matter how you look at it. I was in a horrible state & everyone had abandoned me, family, friends, & my boyfriend. I went to the church for help. NOTHING. Didn’t even suggest I go to the ER. So angry, still.
Did you know “Saint” Mother Theresa used to deny pain medications to dying patients-especially those of AIDS- (including children) for “the purification of their immortals souls before they died”? It’s sickening.
We have a large Amis community in Illinois and Iowa. Our son is grown but our foster charity takes in Amish and mononite children at 15 when the run away or are being threatening to send them to those awful work farms. I have 2 children I got at 17 and adopted at 18 and 1 is a nurse like me and 1 is going to college with his brother our only biological son out of our 5. People call us weird because we adopt after 18. These children have a right to have a forever family who is going to root for them a dad to walk you down the isel. A father who will have a first dance with you no matter who you are marrying anyone
John, you’re statement about people preaching about what is God’s will was everything I didn’t know were my issues with organized religion. I believe God is love NO MATTER WHAT.
I hope something like Acupuncture/ TCM & the diet could be great for you. I keep the pain low with a Fibro: 17 years-& CFS: 9 years // at bay avoided all sugar, all nuts, all grains except rice; No dairy or casein, No corn or soy; No foods from the nightshade Fsmily: so that includes tomato & white potato. No pitted fruit. I too was hyper vigilant in a toxic marriage putting all the weight on me// getting lousy advice from 5 different Bishops ( males) in 11 years.( I am the ex wife with kids from this Abuser),,,,,so if one stays in an insane existence; you can have Insanity-& horrid physical health too: He made me look like the crazy one// because of the insidious abuse on me & the religious guilt tripping// of deserting a marriage, On & on with Motherhood. I wish there were more arenas teaching the cycle of Abuse//& power entities who use it. ThXx to all of You. Cara said on a different M. Story; ‘ The house always wins.’ ( describing the LDS leadership). Thus; cluster B. Malignant Narcs. With psychopathic behaviors always win. No laws in the world FOR emotional Abuse; except Scotland. They added it onto domestic violence cases.
It left me with with stress-induced dysthymia from the constant stress of the mission. The day I stepped off the plane when I got home my heart felt physically wrenched and after a week numb.
The way the LDS church uses guilt and shame is horrific. It ruins entire lives and is very difficult to recover from. I've struggled a long time to rid myself from it.
I have heard so many stories of LDS missionaries being denied access to medical care while in the field. This is one example of the glaring abuses of Mormonism.
God was looking out for my niece. She was wanting to go on a mission, but she had done a year of college after high school. God put a nice young man in her life(who was raised in a Mormon household but was never baptized as far as I know). At first she was his tutor and then they started dating. She has now decided to not go on a mission and just continue college and her relationship with this young man. I'm glad to see that my niece has the willpower to live her life on her own terms and not allow herself to be pressured into being a slave(not only are you a slave to the Mormon church while you are on your mission, but you are also paying for your mission out of your own pocket. Which is insane considering in 2021 the church has over $130 billion).
Priesthood blessings! Super problematic for sure! I was hit by a car when I was 2 and re-told the story over and over that I lived because my 18 year old uncle who was supposed to be watching me gave me a priesthood blessing in the ambulance. Not the medics or the skilled Dr’s. 🙄 It caused me to be scared my entire life to try and be worthy and faithful for these stupid blessings.
Your husband sounds like a beautiful man! I’m glad you two had each other. I love that you came across the right person for your path. I feel grateful my parents divorced when we were young so that we had both an atheist family and a Mormon family. We both got to talk about our sexuality and who we were as individuals in our mothers family where my fathers Mormon family was very repressive. It’s interesting because I can say all gay and bisexual. All my sisters, including myself have dated women, but have married men and my twin brother is gay and it was crucial that we had a mother that was kind, loving and open.
The "priesthood" blessing of this story reminded me of a situation that occurred several years ago - there was a mid-life couple who were as devout as two people ever could be, and one of them experienced a traumatic, totally unexpected medical condition that required an emergency visit to the ICU - the person was just barely alive. Some men from the organization went to the hospital and pronounced a so-called "blessing" where the person speaking said the individual would soon return to "perfect health." When that person in ICU died two days later, the spouse went through extreme trauma which I believe was highly magnified by the false hope mentioned in the so-called "blessing." Even when I was a faithful member, it never made sense to me that "the big man in the sky" would not do something good, he would purposely not interfere by helping, unless someone with "special power" would give a blessing, or if the entire ward was fasting & praying but . . . I guess comments like that prove that apostates like me are evil and should always be avoided (ha). Regardless, it's still one of the saddest stories I've ever witnessed first hand and is an example of how their "special power" is all just a crock of doo doo. Of course, there are many, many similar stories and of course, there are also just as many stories where "the big man in the sky" decided to magically get out of his recliner and actually do something to help. Would a parent who loves their children withhold doing something to help their child unless others beg him to act? I mean, c'mon - really? Just guessing here, but "the big man in the sky" probably flips a coin when deciding to intervene, or maybe he rolls heavenly dice, or perhaps he spins the "Wheel of Decision Making?" Bottom line: the behavior of their god to pick & choose who is helped and who isn't is totally acceptable to them but to me, it's totally abhorrent. When an organization tells you to cast aside your rational thinking skills, to doubt your own ability to study facts and then think about the truth, and when the organization tells you to ONLY believe what THEY tell you, then you have pure evidence: you found yourself a cult. Fancy buildings, very nice suits, and special ceremonies for the elite membership are all just packaging, marketing tools for the 100+ billion dollar cult (but remember to pay your tithing even if it means your children go hungry and you can't pay your utility bills or rent). Nobody who realizes they have been duped by the organization would blame those who are still ensnared in that trap. Who's fault is it they have been duped? Doesn't matter because if the building is on fire, then it's not time to vacuum the floor - you need to escape! If you find yourself at a point where you are not afraid to discover the truth, then it might be the most difficult part of your life, but follow the truth, read the entire story. There is never anything wrong with understanding the entire story, savoring the facts, and only then will you have the opportunity to be totally honest with yourself about what you've discovered. The organization has a clear history of carefully hiding many stories, they have also changed documents they have published, and they carefully craft messages to downplay facts that they realize are a stark contrast to their public narrative. Just like in a court of law, it's important to realize that gathering all of the facts and then studying the truth will never, ever, ever be the wrong thing to do. And, if you still think the organization is telling the truth, and you don't want to change that opinion, then please do not think about how the organization claims the man who is "the most righteous person who has ever lived except Jesus" was also the man who, at age 37 years old, was married to a 14 year old, married to other girls that were 16 years old, and that man was also married to women who were married to other men. Yeah, you better not let that little fact - or thousands of other disturbing truths - sink into your head if you want to "remain faithful" to the organization.
I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Can people sue the LDS for negligence like this, or are they too powerful and it'd just be too much to take on
I think they pull the power card because my friends ex went to the bishop and told him he was sexually abusing her daughter from another relationship. The bishop’s response was oh it’s the devil temping you because we were getting a temple so he organised garments for him so he could work towards getting back to the temple. When it all came out and he was charge the church sent heavy weight barrister’s from Sydney to sit in on the trial to see how it all went I believe my friend and her daughter should have sued the hell out of the church
'They're supposed to be the good guys.' About the Mormon Church. That hit me so hard. I think that's why i am so obsessed with calling out the bad guys who are trying to deceive people into believing they are the good guys when they're not. It's a cult.
I wish she was assigned to our area in Australia. The missionaries were epic. The church 🙄. Ill still look after the missionaries as long as they dont force the church on me
The more I hear about the Mormon church and Mormon missionary stories in particular, I am consistently reminded of Matthew 23: 1-36, where Jesus berates the scribes and Pharisees for laying heavy burdens on the people and not lifting a finger to help them carry the burden. My heart breaks for the young people who are trying to be faithful to what they believe or are trying to please their parents and end up being so abused by their church.
As a non Mormon growing up in Indiana I can’t even imagine not knowing Joseph Smith had plural wives. How do you grow up on that church and not knowing such an obvious part of its history? That they are able to keep that quiet, yet be so proud when you’re a descent of his amazes me.
I knew Brigham Young, the second prophet and who I descend from, was polygamous along with several prophets/apostles after, but Joseph's Smith's polygamy was kept secret from members for a lot longer
Yes! Plus all their clothes, and often very basic extras like haircuts, bicycles, or whether members are feeding you dinner etc! A mission is essentially $10k for boys!
I served my mission in Africa......well, half my mission. (new mission created - new call) It's island archipelago nation off the coast of Senegal called: Cabo Verde. I can look back in retrospect and see my mental health situation on my mission was atrocious. And some of it had to do with growing up being told one thing, about how a mission should be, and experiencing something completely counter to it. I thought I was going to help people - not manipulate them for a number to report. The the major reason: My mission was an abusive and oppressive system. The level of shame and emotional/spiritual abuse that went on is so hard to convey. For years I grappled with finding the right words to describe what it was like. I've finally came around to calling it a POW experience. As I've read works and memoirs of former POWs......yeah, it all kind of lines up. And while we may not have been in daily fear for our physical lives, the mission made sure to keep us in fear of our spiritual lives. Faith shaming and guilt tripping were always front and center leading one to think their Celestial election could be in forfeit for things you did and didn't do in your mission. Not to mention the official numbers running games that the mission officially endorsed that were no more than manipulation of members and non-members. One of the common threads I've read from POWs on their treatment is that your captors did everything in their power to take your dignity. Once they have that, you are broken because you went beyond what you ever thought you were capable of breaking down to. And that's why so many repatriated POWs suffered with PTSD and depression. It's one thing to be angry about treatment and living conditions - it's another to go along with your captors to make the interment easier. I can't believe I went along with what the mission was doing to people. I knew it was wrong and I went along with it because everyone else was. For years after the mission I found myself in a constant state of anger having to do with it,, only further compounded by Mormon culture that one does not speak bad about a mission. That's the most protected secret in the church. I got met with - "of course missions are awful. But don't say anything or others might not go. You don't want that on you, right?" The mission took away my dignity and I suffered through undiagnosed PTSD because of it. There's no doubt - the mission was the single largest and heaviest object on my shelf, but it took a few other things before it came crashing down. The mission was an interment... Sort of an interesting aside: Jeremy McDonald, who was a board member of the open stories foundation, was in my MTC district. He knows what I'm talking about.
Hi mindeloman, Excellent report! Misery loves company, or is it maybe that truthfully reporting on ones mission help others who experienced similar nightmares. Helps one to realize he/she isn't broken... the church and its missionary program is!
At the one hour and 27 Mark, it really really resonated with me. I was raised to believe that the bishops were the mouthpiece of God and what they said was revelation. I ended up staying with my boyfriend at the time who is abusive and marrying him because my bishop said if we were no longer living in sin that we wouldn’t have contention in our lives, and in our home, and I ended up being with him for 17 years, and I wish that I would’ve known then that he obviously is not a mouthpiece of God and Could have put my foot down more about trying to find my now acts a new place to live at the time. Thanks for this video. Great content.
@@CMoore8539 thanks for your comment, to answer your question I found out he had been making some pretty horrible and awful choices, and although I didn’t feel like I could protect myself, I knew I had to protect the people around me and so I called the police and everything unraveled from there he realize he been caught, Luckily, he did not put up any fight, so, I filed for divorce. I got full custody of the kids and the house, and I am now very happily remarried to a wonderful amazing man who treats me and my children like gold, and he help me explore a lot of the questions I had about the Mormon church, and was a very safe place to land and discover more about who I was and what I want out of life and I realize the church just wasn’t for me anymore.
Hey! There’s nothing wrong with having sex as a bonding experience! Before I realized I was ace I had a great time with my ex. There was a lot I wasn’t uncomfortable or uninterested in, but he was so invested in my well being that it was still and overall positive experience. I wasn’t being internally misogynistic for wanting to accommodate his sexual needs, I was trying to reciprocate what he was doing for me.
I Told my daughter and son as they was growing up. if they are gay as far as i was concered it was just as awesome as if they was not. I told them their is no power on this planet that would break my bond, loyalty and unconditional love for them. The Gospel is Awesome, simple and empowering. Religion, tradition, Preisthoods,etc Leads to Misery.
“Just as awesome as if they were not” is a beautiful thing to say. It shows any sexuality as being a positive and that’s a very mature way to go about it
As an exmo the church is a factory of shame. If something goes wrong nobody has to shame you, you do it to yourself over and over and suffer in silence with no support.
At 34:15. Blessings of serving a mission. Health, personal protection, and family protection are promised. What if this does not happen despite being faithful and fulfilling the mission? There have been missionaries who were sexually assaulted, died, and seriously injured while serving missions. Family members also suffered various losses back home. So how is this explained by the church?
I remember hearing a story about a missionary couple they were elders that were staying in lodgings that were terribly haunted consequently were always tired during the day because of no sleep they kept complaining but it was quite a while though before anyone would listen, so can be problems! The trouble with people is they’re not perfect so they can be selfish and thoughtless sometimes and don’t listen when they should!
What an interesting podcast on a wide-ranging series of topics. I am not Mormon or gay so, this was very enlightening. I want to thank all of you for the intelligent discussion, but most of all Lauren, for her candidness on her sexual history/experience. Her husband has got to be an amazing person to show the love and respect for Lauren that so many others would have just left the marriage and emotionally damaged her further. I find it difficult to understand why the Mormon faith is so callous as to "play God" and ruin so many lives. You just can't pray away physiological, emotional and phycological issues. I wish Lauren, her husband and daughter the very best.
I taught a young girl suffering from kidney disease on my mission, and she wanted to get baptized. The only thing getting in the way was her catheter, which was fine by me and my companion. We understood. Our district leader told us to go behind this girls back to get her baptized anyway because “the lord would protect her.”
Listening to these podcasts is EXACTLY like listening to Margaret Atwater's The Testaments, the book written after The Handmaid's Tale. If you haven't read/listened to those books, you really should
My son served a mission in Chili nearly 20 years ago. When he came home he told stories that made me cringe. The insanitary diet or access to clean food. While many missionaries experience living among poverty and suffer no access to clean drinking water, I was horrified by what he went through. Additionally he experienced abuse from locals that didn’t want them there. Some places are not suitable for these young people to serve in especially when they have minor health issues that become serious in developing countries. The church doesn’t seem to care how the missionaries suffer health issues. No bueno.
I feel for her…I never went on a mission but I’m disabled now because of physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional abuse I experienced my entire life by a narcissistic orthodox parent and members of the church. Getting depression at 12….knowing I was bi and dealing with all the guilt. Constant bullying for asking questions. Being the only one in my family who is not Mormon….The guilt is still there. I’m close to 50 and I’m still struggling with forgiveness.
I am so hurt with you for what you had to go through. That was so wrong. You are worth so much more. I don’t know what else to say; I am so grieved for what was done to you.
I am from Ghana and I must say that I love listening to your content. However, I think that it is wrong to assume that we live in deplorable conditions and that anyone coming here is going to die or something. I don't think it's a fair representation of us and our lives. Sure, it's not like the US but we love it here and wouldn't trade it for anything else.
I agree that I did not word my interview carefully about that and I am very sorry for my hurtful and inaccurate words. I am learning and trying to improve
I wish you would tell some of the stories of the missionaries that died on Mormon Stories.Also when i think of myself at 18, you are used to your parents taking care of you when you are sick or helping you make decisions about when it is time to go to the doctor or ER. The idea that the church does not take on this parental role is beyond shocking. I wonder if it also comes from a differences in culture?
I really miss the timestamps. I totally understand the time that must take in editing and assume that is probably the leading reason why it wasn't continued, but even a lower effort version perhaps with the non-interviewer jotting down questions the interviewer asks at the time should still be much appreciated. I love following every podcast you out out but can't dedicate the time to watch 100% of each.
Hearing about the way the Mormon missionaries are mistreated and abused is eye-opening. Even as a kid of 8, as a Mormon convert, I had no idea. Return missionaries always acted so happy--I just assumed that missionaries were off living in exciting places and having the times of their lives. This was back in the 1960s but I'm assuming now that the they were enduring the same horror show even back then. My heart goes out to all of them.
Thank you, Lauren! I came out to myself when I was 28. I didn't recognize i was a lesbian because I couldn't. I describe it as an equation I was stuck in. I knew I wasn't evil and the church had taught me that gay thoughts were evil, so therefore I wasn't gay. I didn't want to be evil and denying gay-ness was required to be good.
I had a missionary sister come visit me in my home years ago and she was obviously in a lot of pain and being a woman I guessed she was suffering from terrible period cramps so I let her rest in my home for a while and gave her painkillers then she had to go.
So she *paid* to be salesperson for a multibillion dollar company while being starved and being overworked, got a lifelong disability and told she had to repent for her trouble?
Doctors didn't believe my wife had chronic fatigue. Absolutely zero surprise the church didn't know what to do with it. It's very under-researched to this day.
Oh my.....I'm so glad I have Always brought "missionaries" inside, out of the heat or cold and insisted on feeding them. They HAD to eat or I wouldn't listen to their speil.
I used to listen to the lessons just to be able to feed the missionaries. Lol! They helped us do a lot of yard work when I was newly married and we were working on updating stuff at our new house. Certain things these young men would say to me convinced me we should be a safe, nurturing, relaxing place for them to come whenever they wanted to. My husband and I were in our mid 20's at the time so we were not really that much older than these guys. I always insisted they take drinks, food, or eat BBQ with us after yard work. I could tell they sometimes visited because they were tired and just wanted to relax in some air conditioning. I also told them to visit our back yard anytime we were not home and feel free to relax and take food and drinks out of our deck fridge. I hope it helped. They worked so hard. Our doors were always open. We even went to one of the guys weddings.
You’re wonderful
Yes you are wonderful but these man made religions are not good. U didn’t exactly say u were part of a religion but if u have these ppl coming to your house to do work.. well I have to wonder. Why do u have ppl coming to your house to do work? When ppl come to my house.. we pay them. It’s not a church thing either. Maybe I got u wrong.. cuz a cppl of sentences doesn’t always tell the entire story but what I read.. I def didn’t feel good about it.😩
@@kimboslice9445 It was like 25 years ago now. However, if I remember correctly, my husband was installing a little pond in our backyard once time when the guys stopped by. He was figuring out the electric to run the pump or something. The three of them discussed that for a while. I then invited the kids to swim because it was hot and I knew they were walking all around. My husband offered them swim trunks. They said they were not allowed to swim for insurance purposes. They then said they were allowed to do yard work though. We did offer to pay them more than once. They said they were also not allowed to accept money or gifts. They consented to accepting food. So we fed them for about a year, whenever they would stop by. They helped us with yard work 2 or 3 times total. One of the young men was always the same but who he was with changed sometimes. I tend to be a welcoming person. I do not have a religious agenda. I actually grew up in what many consider a cult. Plus, as I have already stated, my husband and I were only a couple of years older than these guys. We were new in town and had just bought our first house. I also had a couple of friends in high school who were Mormon and I knew some of the struggles they faced as teens in the church. I went with them to a few Super Saturday dances, which were super fun. However, it was clear to see a lot of pressure was on my friends. Hopefully, we were a safe place for these young men. I assume we were since we were invited to the main guys wedding reception like 2 or 3 hours from our house. We went, and brought a nice gift too.
@@hannahkate4184 That was real nice that they helped you with yard work and that you gave them dinner afterwards. That’s very nice.
The missionaries always helped us move when we moved over the years. Those guys are always working for no money. Literally loading up the moving trucks for us with all the heavy furniture we couldnt carry. We need to lend the helping hand. I appreciate you.
Lauren is a friend from high school! I didn’t know she was doing this pod! She is one of the kindest and funniest people you’ll ever meet. You guys will love her. Proud of you for sharing your story! ♥️
Hey friend from highschool! Which friend were you? 😅
@@laurenrogers8787 The bulldog’s mom!! I’m listening to this now I’m so proud of you!! ♥️ ugh I remember going to the party for your mission reveal where we found out where y’all were going and how this was your #1 dream. I am DEVASTATED that this is what happened…. 😔 I had no idea.
Who is bulldog? Sorry I'm having trouble placing you!!
@@laurenrogers8787 last week we were talking about how your old mouse and my dog had the same name from Cinderella! brb lemme FB message you lol.
@@laurenrogers8787 PETUNIA REVEALED
I'm so inspired by her amazing story and journey. I was born with a hip disorder that has caused me to have close to 50 hip surgeries and hip replacements. It has made me unable to do a lot of things like hiking and riding a bike as well as walk with a horrible limp. I've found while dating in the Mormon church that most of the active RM type of men I would go on a date with would look down so much at me because of my disability. I was told everything from it was my fault for being disobedient in the preexistence, it was my parent's fault for not being faithful enough, or I just didn't believe enough that God could heal me. They would fully believe I was a lesser person because of my disability and I was even told more than once I didn't deserve a favored man of God or children because of it. Now that I've left the church and talked to many exmembers from around the country I've learned parent's and church leaders had taught this horrible view to these young men. It makes me so sick and sad at the same time. But I found someone who looks beyond my disability, loves me for me, and we have two beautiful babies who are worthy of everything. ❤
Wow
// unreal,,.
All the best to U**
I'm sorry that you've had that experience :( I too have a disability (Cerebral Palsy) that has affected my life. Those who have said that it is your fault (or your parents) have not read the scriptures. Jesus himself was asked that question and responded appropriately. I have a friend who was paralyzed from the neck down in a sports accident shortly after returning home. I have realized that I can do my best to be a good friend/human being to those around me.
Mormons hate disabilities and LGBTQ. I'm glad that there are these brave people who left the LDS church speaking out.
Good for you!!♥️
I myself am an active member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint have a disability i was born with a brain bleed at birth and I just had a posterior fossil decompression surgery back in march after about a years time to figure out what was wrong, and I to have cerebral palsy and I’m married
and have two daughters my youngest also has disabilities . Lauren you have such great strength for what you have been through and your determination to push yourself to do the best and be the best you can I admire you for that fiscal pain is a real thing
Lauren, my heart goes out to you as a fellow disabled mom. When I became a mom, I had Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS). My son and I played many games that involved me laying down on the floor and being very creative in inventing games that led to an active little boy jumping, dancing, bouncing while I just moved my arms. It wasn't the childhood I wanted to give my son, but it was reality.
I found out I was schizophrenic and bipolar 3 months into my mission(2009). Was sent home. No apology for my trauma(I was scared out of my mind when I had a mental breakdown. No family near me to help me through it. Just a bunch of men that I barely knew(companions)). The Mormon church did absolutely no psych evaluation prior to sending me out. At least the military does psych evaluations before they'll allow somebody to join up.
As a sister to a bipolar schizophrenic brother, I ache when i read this. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
@@DMRJ53 much appreciated. Meds and therapy have helped me greatly improve in life(as well as leaving the church, finding an online game to make friends in a way I feel comfortable, getting a dog to help me have a reason to wake up everyday, etc).
@@bendragon1000 What did you name your dog? Animals are tremendously helpful to all of us suffering. I’m happy that you were able to get out of that. Take good care of you!♥️
The Mormon church seems woefully inept at medicine and psychology.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Total empathy here my mission left me ill anxious and with low self esteem for many years. Only to find out years later others had suffered as I did. Central America should have been the most amazing experience yet I was exposed to a mission president who had no sense of our safety and discriminated on numerous occasions. Sadly affecting my health for years. A young woman put on a bus alone for 13 hrs to arrive in San jose at 1 in the morning, with no one to meet me alone with no knowledge of where to go. Forced into a taxi with 2 men who luckily found the church.. To find 2 sleeping elders who had no knowledge I was there. Put in a dark room and left all night.. Horrible experience and many more.. He was never held accountable.
That’s awful
Totally disgusting
Terrible
Horrific.
Thank you Cara for bringing up the point that sometimes sexual problems develop during marriage. That is my story and I was literally like "yes yes yes" when she brought that up.
And Lauren's explanation of painful sexual experiences and the advice to seek out a pelvic floor PT was gold. I had never heard someone explain this and I am so thankful for this info!!
Pf PT is awesome!
I remember when my brother went on his mission in the 1990’s and being told not to tell him the bad that was going on at home. So he had no clue that when he left my mom fell into a deep depression. To this day my older brother still blames me and said it’s because I was a bad teenager. I’ve never stood up and said “no it’s because you went on a mission!”
I know no matter what I say it won’t make a difference so I take the blame. I was there, he wasn’t. I saw what happened and he didn’t. Won’t change what happened and he is the perfect child in my parents eyes..so I just go with it. You can’t argue with a narcissist (my dad) and my mom is trying to just survive. So I just go with it. Better than making things harder on my mom. Don’t need the asshole father to take things out on her. 48:31
I am going to make it my “mission” to be transparent and supportive to these poor kids being bullied and abused accepting these mission calls. I’m going to be there for them.
I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue several years ago, while mine is not as severe as Lauren’s it is debilitating at times. I completely agree that it or can be thought of as not a real problem. Learning to pace your self is a hard ask when you have been used to continually being on the go. I still do to much then pay for it for several days. Horrified at the pressure and untrue teaching Lauren experienced. She should be compensated by the Mormon church. X
Saldly, true believers get their heart broken. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Yes, but there's much more damage beyond that. People that go through this are mentally, emotionally, and often physically damaged and traumatized by what they've gone through. High-demand religion(s) is just another name for a CULT. Dangerous and devastating.
I met Lauren at the protest for Natasha Helfer! Lauren is very nice and a really good activist/organizer.
So many of us gave everything we had to the church. And when we left there was no thanks for your time, talents, money, etc. Instead it's "don't let the door hit you on the way out." It really hurts. It's not like I need recognition or even the tithing I gave or my service or labor back. I just wish they didn't destroy my reputation and make me a virus to my friends and family.
Let’s not forget the leaders of the church are human and make mistakes. If you went because you wanted to please God by trusting this as His work I think there will be no regrets . If you did it because you wanted to be “heal” or make people proud of you or whatever then that is when it gets harder I feel
@@ClaudiaSoriadeWalker Here’s the thing though. I can forgive mistakes. But the leaders of the church are not just making mistakes. They are deliberately lying about and covering up major deal breaking issues. They are asking members to offer their lives for half truths. Then when someone leaves because they find out about the deception, the leaders slam them with labels and stories of self destruction. (Example: Apostates leave the church and it destroys their lives) They create boogeymen out of those who leave the church in order to scare the active members into staying in the boat. But in doing so what they do to the exmember is tarnish reputations, destroy relationships, end marriages, estrange family members, hurt livelihoods. In short, the leaders at the top create an atmosphere that is incredibly toxic for both those who leave the church and the loved ones of said “apostates”. My whole point is that it’s not the mistakes of the leaders. They do this on purpose. And it’s not the fault of the members or exmembers. It’s on the leaders.
You get your rewards in heaven and I have been blessed through paying tithing I didn’t get rich but always have what I need.
@@carolynaitken7632 I understand that idea. That is what I always felt as well when I was in the church. Believe it or not, I truly don't regret the tithing or time I spent. To me it was never about giving it to the church. It was about showing God that I loved him and would sacrifice whatever I needed to for him. But my point isn't about blessings you do or don't get from paying tithing or serving. It's about the apostles and prophets asking for literally everything you have, (time, talents, all that you have or may have in the future) under half truths and then destroying your life after you find about the other half. You seem truly sincere, and I respect that. I would challenge you to take that same sincerity and listen to the stories of exmormons you may know. You don't have to even engage in what made them leave the church. Just ask them about how they were treated by their family and friends after leaving the church. But here is the key. Ask why they feel like they were treated that way. If you talk to even a handful of exmormons, you'll discover a lot of lives that have been torn apart by the way the apostles and prophets have branded "apostates".
@@MrPhillipjac I am sorry to tell you this but nobody is lying here. You just did not want to seek in your youth for yourself. Now you feel betrayed. I feel the way the church is manage here is different than other countries. For example I am Mexican and I grew up in the covenants of the church. I was never judge for going to church in pants. Never even felt judge by it. The people in my ward did not care what you wore as long as you wanted to be there. Here in the States the issue of the clothing is ridiculous. I never heard of such thing as sex being bad. I knew sex was a sin IF doing before getting married. Here in the states we have all this woman who have a hard time giving themselves to heir husbands because they way they were taught it is old and not accurate. The leaders can give us instructions to do (like in any church out there) we also get to use our free agency to follow or not.
Some of this runs parallel to my mission experience. I had health issues come up during the first few months of my mission. I was pushed to keep proselytizing even though it turned out that I was sick enough that I could have died. When I tried to go home early--even if only for a short time to recover--my mission president wouldn't take any action because he saw it as me asking to cancel a "prophetic calling."
My son served his mission in France. We got so many uplifting letters and emails from him. We found out after he returned that he had been thrown in jail. Twice. He has never talked about what happened...it was pretty traumatic for him.
Heck! that’s not good!!
Are you members?
Part of being a missionary is learning what is an acceptable lie vs an acceptable truth . if you tell your family and friends the truth of what you are experiencing, you are no longer trusted! Members don't desire the truth, they desire what they believe to be true!
In Europe it's illegal to promote religions in Europe
This is sick.The church is sick.All for nothing.The Mormon Church is a lie. The book of Mormon is a lie. Smith was a warlock. All this suffering for a lie. People put themselves thru hell and mental illness over nothing. I was a Mormon. It is an illness. A mental illness.
I watch many of the Mormon Stories Podcasts and have learned so much from them. But this one was especially a special podcast for me, getting to listen to Lauren. Such a wonderful person, so amazing. And John, you moderated it all together so well and with such compassion.
I am so glad that Lauren has found such peace outside the toxic teachings of the Mormon church. You have a lot to contribute to the world. And I so love you finding your sexuality.
I also have CFS (ME) and have had it for decades. I was in demanding callings (never say no!) and received numerous blessings from bishops, stake presidents, and even a GA. I was diligent (scrupulous) about doing everything required of me to be healed. Prayers/Blessings never worked. .
TCM doc. DAvid LU in Fridley, MN
Cured me of Fibro. & CFS but I do avoid tons of food groups to stay good. Best of luck!!~ ( it is so individual/ so please know I am just trying to help).
I also have ME. The severe form. I’ve been bed bound for years. It took my life. Now I just exist in pain. Sorry, Lauren.. I hope you get some answers ❤
This makes me so glad I didn’t go on my mission because I was so scared to for this exact reason. I’m really glad I left the church.
The mission president saying a prayer reminds me of a bit in the West Wing episode "Noel." Leo tells Josh the following story
"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.
"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on
"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"
And this is just a retelling of the parable of the Good Samaritan. This mission president didn't show love or concern except for himself. He shirked his responsibility as a human being and as a leader.
Love West Wing! Thank you!!!
Lauren, I really feel for you. I remember working my butt off every day of my mission, I was obedient to a T but I had a lot of issues meeting the quotas the mission president wanted us to meet. In my exit interview my mission president said, “Well Elder, you finally learned how to be a good missionary” since we were finally having numerical success in our area, but that really hurt because he didn’t see me as a good missionary for nearly 2 years. And things only started to be better stress-wise and numerically because I started to not care about what the mission president wanted and tried to focus on the people and what God wanted, and I felt that despite what he felt God was happy with me.
Everything that you said is true for my mission as well, it’s an unspoken culture where you have to be the most baptizing missionary and ignore health concerns to work from sunrise to after sunset every day for 2 years. Even though I have wonderful memories and grew a lot from my mission, the leaders care nothing for you and you’re expected to be perfect and work like a robot, even though they explicitly tell you to not teach like you’re a robot. There’s also a lot of micromanaging that goes into it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, and I really hope the Church will realize how toxic they’ve let mission culture get and start to make changes.
What an amazing and important episode. I am in my late 60s and feel thankful to have some new tools (things I learned from this episode) to help younger family members and friends who may need a listening ear or advice down the road. And this is exactly the reason I'm loving the addition of Carah to the podcast. Now off to listen to part 2.
Well said John, in reference to those who believe they are speaking for God. I decided a while back that if there is a God, that God will inspire me, not some other person about my direction.
I feel like the church should be financially responsible for the disabilities Lauren has as a direct result of the conditions and culture of her mission. They should be covering her medical expenses as "repentance" for the neglect and mistreatment she received when she got so sick.
Agreed
@@cynthiawilkinson6974 So much agree. I say "sue them!"
I agree but they have great lawyers and I don't have the money to get a lawyer to match
@@laurenrogers8787 that is a sad truth. Their legal team is crazy big. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I thought my mission was bad… I’m sorry it was so awful. That mission culture of enduring suffering without complaint is so horrible. I’m sorry 😞
I’d guess that all the papers signed before the mission clearly state the church isn’t liable for illness, death, assault etc etc
Hi Lauren,
I can't imagine the struggles you went thru losing glutens and dairy and then serving your mission. Trying to control your diet in another country, absolutely crazy. I lost glutens, dairy, eggs and several other foods some 20 years ago; it's entirely irresponsible for you leaders to have sent you on a mission with this health issue! Only someone who has experienced it understands the health problems you experienced! I can't imagine trying to be a missionary while experiencing this condition! I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone, ever, its that painful, that difficult to live with. I'm in ahh that you are still alive, stress kills and the lack of gluten makes one susceptible to it and a hand full of other physical problem! You are absolutely awesome Lauren.
Best wishes
I absolutely hate the comment I’m making here but a lot of mission leaders and authorities in the mission dept at the COB didn’t like sister missionaries to begin with, and would’ve seen Lauren’s health issues as the rationale to end sisters’ involvement as missionaries. Period. We’re too much bother, elders have Phood & are better suited. It’s crazy.
I was a missionary in Switzerland, German speaking almost 4 decades ago. I was 24 years old when I went. I found the sisters consistently out performed the elders! They taught more discussions each week, were more mature and friendlier! I experienced the box of chocolates of elder companions, but always looked forward to speaking with sisters, learning from them and just associating with someone who's ego wasn't inflated... They were there to do the work. They didn't get promotions from their efforts, usually just more work! They were sent to places elders were not welcome. In terms of mental health on a mission, I'm grateful to the sisters for being a collective voice of reason. They made the experience much more tolerable! My mission was a love-hate experience and Im not sure I would have tolerated the BS without sister missionary friendship and support! The leadership of the Mormon church doesn't understand what a gem they have in the sister missionaries!
One doesn't have to be smart to lead. My personal experience was very few mormon leaders possessed any skills for leading... meant from an assessment stance, not judgmental!
@@rebeccalinford9152 So upsetting and shout out to you too Sid Vicious! Another thing that I do not understand with the Church's vast wealth is why they cannot up the living conditions of all missionaries. And to think these are our precious children who thrown out there at such a young age. I was upset to learn of missionaries who die on a regular basis. If the purpose of a mission is to indoctrinate these people for life it would make sense to treat them better. This whole prostelizing is such a big part of our identity, but I can't help but think there's gotta be a better way
Also; having acquired a BA in Management and Organization, I think my assessment is valid!
I had a lot of difficulty being sick from celiac & complications of celiac while on my mission. And my mission president's daughter had celiac so he was actually quite supportive, but a lot of members were pretty clueless and would regularly feed me things that I shouldn't have had.
My brother in law is ex-Mormon who left his mission early. As a result of the things he experienced my sister is compelled to care for any missionaries in our area. They know where to go for a cold drink, a home cooked meal in an air conditioned, nice home and that they will leave with more than enough snacks and drinks to stock their fridges. It’s crazy how little care these young missionaries get and how little they feel they deserve as they are “serving”. Great interview!
I served my mission in Osorno Chile from 08-10. We were reactivators for a huge portion of my mission. We taught a lesson made by Elder Corbridge called Abide with me or Permaneced with the goal of shaming people back to church. It worked for a bit but didn’t last. Good people and great members but the church as a whole let them down. My MP’s main concern was keeping the good name of the church. That’s all that mattered to him.
I served in Osorno in 83-84 and the mass baptisms were crazy! Even as a TBM missionary I just couldn't believe the push for such numbers.
This was a wonderful interview with a lovely guest and two warm compassionate hosts. The honesty and decency of all three was truly inspiring. I learned so much from this discussion on so many levels and across so many topics. And even down to the last 15 minutes the thoughtful but frank sharing of women's health issues was a real public service for women and girls as well as the men who love and support them was excellent. Thank you very much for this thoughtful, kind and civil program. Warm wishes to all of you for your work and courage.
1:48:41 Lauren your story is so powerful. I have arthritis and as a believing member I also experienced all these feelings. Now I have so much more joy living the here and now with my disability
2:13:00 My jaw dropped when you said her solution to the painful sex was to have a baby. That's not a cure-all. Wow. You shouldn't tell someone to become a parent for life as a possible medical fix. Come on!
What a dumb comment, "just have a baby"!
What if she needed a c-section?
Child-birth is no a fix all.
Lauren - I developed ME/CFS and POTS from long covid - and also left a cult like church right before my illness. Miguel Bautista from CFS Recovery is such a GREAT resource in recover. I know this podcast is a couple of years old - but I hope you are doing better - and watching Miguel gives me hope that I won't be like this forever, and neither do you! I feel like I've walked you path - and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!
Sounds fascinating from the description. Thank you for sharing your story, Lauren, I look forward to hearing it.
So happy there are outlets for people like this!
So interesting and informative. Good host questions. Lauren was very open in her story. She has educated a lot of us. Thank you for bringing this show to us.
This just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you went through all of that on your mission. I've had mono and it plain sucks!!!
I doubt you remember but we were in the same ward from 2009 until we left the church (my husband in 2014 and me and kids a few years later).
I cannot fathom having mono, being neglected, freezing in a room, starving and on top of that as if that doesn’t make you weak enough, having to tract ALL DAY up to 12 hours in the elements. I just cannot even fathom. My god.
Putting human beings in 'authority' over other human beings based on a false premise is downright dangerous
I've never heard fanatical devotion as self medication for anxiety/depression before, rung very true for me, thank you
John's speech about healing blessings not being real was Soo excellent. We're so lucky to have his wisdom and professional training in science! PERFECTION! 🥰 THANK YOU JOHN
Wow. I am so glad to have given the church both middle fingers before they sent me off to raise more money while being treated like total crap. Because F*** that. What an awful experience.
What a beautiful storyteller! Thank you for sharing, and thank you for having her.
What a wonderful Human Being.
So well said! “They were suppose to be the good guys”. That is very much how I have felt and I’ve been let down so much! You can only be let down so many times before you finally break! When trauma from my childhood came back I really realized that I was never going to be protected by the church. They were never going to help me and history had shown that over and over again!
My therapist knew my dad growing up and when I finally let him know what my dad is truly like he was shocked! The outward appearances were far different than what he is truly like.
Take your passport!!
That is chilling 😳
My uncle served a mission somewhere in South America a long time ago. He passed away in his sleep due to a gas leak in his apartment. I noticed when a missionary passes away while they're serving. Their death is some what glorified. I remember my parents saying, "your uncle is so special. God needed him to teach those souls who are currently stuck in the spiritual prison." insane!
I can relate - my brother died from suicide on his mission, but my family couldn't cope- so they spun a story that he was murdered - because it's better to be murdered than take you own life ( I know, crazy, but it's a long story) - they wanted so much for him to be a martyr - I didn't even know he died by suicide until I was grown with and married with children and I happened to get a copy of his eulogy.....I can't even tell you what this has done to my faith and can you say trust issues...lol
@@tandrews615oh my this is so sad I’m so sorry. No child (I mean they are so young when they go) should feel they have no one to talk to, no power, and feel so desperate that’s the only way out. No wonder they could not accept the reality and had to go into denial. This is the worst outcome I’ve seen on these podcasts - absolutely tragic so sorry
@@tinygold772 Thank you
@@tandrews615 I am so very sorry.
I learned a lot in this episode!
Things I had never thought of or even considered.
Thanks to all of you.
I grew up in the Catholic Church. I can SO TOTALLY see what happened on your mission, happening to me!! EVERYTHING is about “your immortal soul”. Well, that’s great but I need help NOW!! All the anger is coming back! I gave up so much of my life for a church that when I needed help, just wanted me to go away!!! NO HELP. NO COMPASSION. NOTHING. It’s not right. No matter how you look at it. I was in a horrible state & everyone had abandoned me, family, friends, & my boyfriend. I went to the church for help. NOTHING. Didn’t even suggest I go to the ER. So angry, still.
Did you know “Saint” Mother Theresa used to deny pain medications to dying patients-especially those of AIDS- (including children) for “the purification of their immortals souls before they died”? It’s sickening.
Abusive controlling cultists. I am so sorry for your experience.
We have a large Amis community in Illinois and Iowa. Our son is grown but our foster charity takes in Amish and mononite children at 15 when the run away or are being threatening to send them to those awful work farms. I have 2 children I got at 17 and adopted at 18 and 1 is a nurse like me and 1 is going to college with his brother our only biological son out of our 5. People call us weird because we adopt after 18. These children have a right to have a forever family who is going to root for them a dad to walk you down the isel. A father who will have a first dance with you no matter who you are marrying anyone
John, you’re statement about people preaching about what is God’s will was everything I didn’t know were my issues with organized religion. I believe God is love NO MATTER WHAT.
This was so educational for me. ❤ Hugs to her for her courage.
So emotional! Thank you so much for sharing your story! You're strength is so inspiring!!! You are such a sweet, kind, intelligent soul!! ❤
I hope something like Acupuncture/ TCM & the diet could be great for you. I keep the pain low with a Fibro: 17 years-& CFS: 9 years //
at bay
avoided all sugar, all nuts, all grains except rice;
No dairy or casein,
No corn or soy;
No foods from the nightshade Fsmily: so that includes tomato & white potato.
No pitted fruit.
I too was hyper vigilant in a toxic marriage putting all the weight on me// getting lousy advice from 5 different Bishops ( males) in 11 years.( I am the ex wife with kids from this Abuser),,,,,so if one stays in an insane existence; you can have Insanity-& horrid physical health too: He made me look like the crazy one// because of the insidious abuse on me & the religious guilt tripping// of deserting a marriage,
On & on with
Motherhood.
I wish there were more arenas teaching the cycle of Abuse//& power entities who use it.
ThXx to all of You.
Cara said on a different M. Story; ‘ The house always wins.’ ( describing the LDS leadership).
Thus; cluster B. Malignant Narcs. With psychopathic behaviors always win. No laws in the world FOR emotional Abuse; except Scotland. They added it onto domestic violence cases.
Thank you John and oh my goodness the bravery of your Guest, 'Lauren'. 🌺🌸💕🌺😊 ❤❤
Listening to this on 1/12/24. This is completely unacceptable. As a return missionary myself and not one that “fit the mold” this is absolutely crazy.
It left me with with stress-induced dysthymia from the constant stress of the mission. The day I stepped off the plane when I got home my heart felt physically wrenched and after a week numb.
Where did you go?
This was an awesome show; it was very fun to see several of my favorite podcasters putting their (talking) heads together!
The way the LDS church uses guilt and shame is horrific. It ruins entire lives and is very difficult to recover from. I've struggled a long time to rid myself from it.
I have heard so many stories of LDS missionaries being denied access to medical care while in the field. This is one example of the glaring abuses of Mormonism.
God was looking out for my niece. She was wanting to go on a mission, but she had done a year of college after high school. God put a nice young man in her life(who was raised in a Mormon household but was never baptized as far as I know). At first she was his tutor and then they started dating. She has now decided to not go on a mission and just continue college and her relationship with this young man. I'm glad to see that my niece has the willpower to live her life on her own terms and not allow herself to be pressured into being a slave(not only are you a slave to the Mormon church while you are on your mission, but you are also paying for your mission out of your own pocket. Which is insane considering in 2021 the church has over $130 billion).
Priesthood blessings! Super problematic for sure! I was hit by a car when I was 2 and re-told the story over and over that I lived because my 18 year old uncle who was supposed to be watching me gave me a priesthood blessing in the ambulance. Not the medics or the skilled Dr’s. 🙄 It caused me to be scared my entire life to try and be worthy and faithful for these stupid blessings.
This woman is amazing.
Your husband sounds like a beautiful man! I’m glad you two had each other. I love that you came across the right person for your path. I feel grateful my parents divorced when we were young so that we had both an atheist family and a Mormon family. We both got to talk about our sexuality and who we were as individuals in our mothers family where my fathers Mormon family was very repressive. It’s interesting because I can say all gay and bisexual. All my sisters, including myself have dated women, but have married men and my twin brother is gay and it was crucial that we had a mother that was kind, loving and open.
The "priesthood" blessing of this story reminded me of a situation that occurred several years ago - there was a mid-life couple who were as devout as two people ever could be, and one of them experienced a traumatic, totally unexpected medical condition that required an emergency visit to the ICU - the person was just barely alive. Some men from the organization went to the hospital and pronounced a so-called "blessing" where the person speaking said the individual would soon return to "perfect health." When that person in ICU died two days later, the spouse went through extreme trauma which I believe was highly magnified by the false hope mentioned in the so-called "blessing."
Even when I was a faithful member, it never made sense to me that "the big man in the sky" would not do something good, he would purposely not interfere by helping, unless someone with "special power" would give a blessing, or if the entire ward was fasting & praying but . . . I guess comments like that prove that apostates like me are evil and should always be avoided (ha). Regardless, it's still one of the saddest stories I've ever witnessed first hand and is an example of how their "special power" is all just a crock of doo doo. Of course, there are many, many similar stories and of course, there are also just as many stories where "the big man in the sky" decided to magically get out of his recliner and actually do something to help. Would a parent who loves their children withhold doing something to help their child unless others beg him to act? I mean, c'mon - really? Just guessing here, but "the big man in the sky" probably flips a coin when deciding to intervene, or maybe he rolls heavenly dice, or perhaps he spins the "Wheel of Decision Making?" Bottom line: the behavior of their god to pick & choose who is helped and who isn't is totally acceptable to them but to me, it's totally abhorrent.
When an organization tells you to cast aside your rational thinking skills, to doubt your own ability to study facts and then think about the truth, and when the organization tells you to ONLY believe what THEY tell you, then you have pure evidence: you found yourself a cult. Fancy buildings, very nice suits, and special ceremonies for the elite membership are all just packaging, marketing tools for the 100+ billion dollar cult (but remember to pay your tithing even if it means your children go hungry and you can't pay your utility bills or rent).
Nobody who realizes they have been duped by the organization would blame those who are still ensnared in that trap. Who's fault is it they have been duped? Doesn't matter because if the building is on fire, then it's not time to vacuum the floor - you need to escape! If you find yourself at a point where you are not afraid to discover the truth, then it might be the most difficult part of your life, but follow the truth, read the entire story. There is never anything wrong with understanding the entire story, savoring the facts, and only then will you have the opportunity to be totally honest with yourself about what you've discovered. The organization has a clear history of carefully hiding many stories, they have also changed documents they have published, and they carefully craft messages to downplay facts that they realize are a stark contrast to their public narrative. Just like in a court of law, it's important to realize that gathering all of the facts and then studying the truth will never, ever, ever be the wrong thing to do.
And, if you still think the organization is telling the truth, and you don't want to change that opinion, then please do not think about how the organization claims the man who is "the most righteous person who has ever lived except Jesus" was also the man who, at age 37 years old, was married to a 14 year old, married to other girls that were 16 years old, and that man was also married to women who were married to other men. Yeah, you better not let that little fact - or thousands of other disturbing truths - sink into your head if you want to "remain faithful" to the organization.
I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Can people sue the LDS for negligence like this, or are they too powerful and it'd just be too much to take on
I think they pull the power card because my friends ex went to the bishop and told him he was sexually abusing her daughter from another relationship. The bishop’s response was oh it’s the devil temping you because we were getting a temple so he organised garments for him so he could work towards getting back to the temple. When it all came out and he was charge the church sent heavy weight barrister’s from Sydney to sit in on the trial to see how it all went I believe my friend and her daughter should have sued the hell out of the church
LDS is a political organization. They should love their 503C non profit status
My mission was my biggest testimony destroyer.
wow!
'They're supposed to be the good guys.'
About the Mormon Church.
That hit me so hard.
I think that's why i am so obsessed with calling out the bad guys who are trying to deceive people into believing they are the good guys when they're not.
It's a cult.
I wish she was assigned to our area in Australia. The missionaries were epic. The church 🙄. Ill still look after the missionaries as long as they dont force the church on me
The more I hear about the Mormon church and Mormon missionary stories in particular, I am consistently reminded of Matthew 23: 1-36, where Jesus berates the scribes and Pharisees for laying heavy burdens on the people and not lifting a finger to help them carry the burden. My heart breaks for the young people who are trying to be faithful to what they believe or are trying to please their parents and end up being so abused by their church.
My dad served in south africa during apartheid. He is still faithful, but I heard some interesting stories.
As a non Mormon growing up in Indiana I can’t even imagine not knowing Joseph Smith had plural wives. How do you grow up on that church and not knowing such an obvious part of its history? That they are able to keep that quiet, yet be so proud when you’re a descent of his amazes me.
I knew Brigham Young, the second prophet and who I descend from, was polygamous along with several prophets/apostles after, but Joseph's Smith's polygamy was kept secret from members for a lot longer
Oh man... you described something perfectly. I won't say what, but thank you!
Wait I am a never mo… what people pay $500 per a month to have the “privilege” of serving a mission wow there are no words 😶
Yes! Plus all their clothes, and often very basic extras like haircuts, bicycles, or whether members are feeding you dinner etc! A mission is essentially $10k for boys!
Wow
Crazy, I help run a Catholic mission group and we pay the young adults $4,000 to serve plus room and board.
I served my mission in Africa......well, half my mission. (new mission created - new call) It's island archipelago nation off the coast of Senegal called: Cabo Verde. I can look back in retrospect and see my mental health situation on my mission was atrocious. And some of it had to do with growing up being told one thing, about how a mission should be, and experiencing something completely counter to it. I thought I was going to help people - not manipulate them for a number to report. The the major reason: My mission was an abusive and oppressive system. The level of shame and emotional/spiritual abuse that went on is so hard to convey. For years I grappled with finding the right words to describe what it was like. I've finally came around to calling it a POW experience. As I've read works and memoirs of former POWs......yeah, it all kind of lines up. And while we may not have been in daily fear for our physical lives, the mission made sure to keep us in fear of our spiritual lives. Faith shaming and guilt tripping were always front and center leading one to think their Celestial election could be in forfeit for things you did and didn't do in your mission. Not to mention the official numbers running games that the mission officially endorsed that were no more than manipulation of members and non-members. One of the common threads I've read from POWs on their treatment is that your captors did everything in their power to take your dignity. Once they have that, you are broken because you went beyond what you ever thought you were capable of breaking down to. And that's why so many repatriated POWs suffered with PTSD and depression. It's one thing to be angry about treatment and living conditions - it's another to go along with your captors to make the interment easier. I can't believe I went along with what the mission was doing to people. I knew it was wrong and I went along with it because everyone else was. For years after the mission I found myself in a constant state of anger having to do with it,, only further compounded by Mormon culture that one does not speak bad about a mission. That's the most protected secret in the church. I got met with - "of course missions are awful. But don't say anything or others might not go. You don't want that on you, right?" The mission took away my dignity and I suffered through undiagnosed PTSD because of it. There's no doubt - the mission was the single largest and heaviest object on my shelf, but it took a few other things before it came crashing down. The mission was an interment...
Sort of an interesting aside: Jeremy McDonald, who was a board member of the open stories foundation, was in my MTC district. He knows what I'm talking about.
Hi mindeloman,
Excellent report! Misery loves company, or is it maybe that truthfully reporting on ones mission help others who experienced similar nightmares. Helps one to realize he/she isn't broken... the church and its missionary program is!
At the one hour and 27 Mark, it really really resonated with me. I was raised to believe that the bishops were the mouthpiece of God and what they said was revelation. I ended up staying with my boyfriend at the time who is abusive and marrying him because my bishop said if we were no longer living in sin that we wouldn’t have contention in our lives, and in our home, and I ended up being with him for 17 years, and I wish that I would’ve known then that he obviously is not a mouthpiece of God and Could have put my foot down more about trying to find my now acts a new place to live at the time. Thanks for this video. Great content.
I’m glad that you were able to get out of that relationship. How did you do it? However I’m just thankful you made it out.
@@CMoore8539 thanks for your comment, to answer your question I found out he had been making some pretty horrible and awful choices, and although I didn’t feel like I could protect myself, I knew I had to protect the people around me and so I called the police and everything unraveled from there he realize he been caught, Luckily, he did not put up any fight, so, I filed for divorce. I got full custody of the kids and the house, and I am now very happily remarried to a wonderful amazing man who treats me and my children like gold, and he help me explore a lot of the questions I had about the Mormon church, and was a very safe place to land and discover more about who I was and what I want out of life and I realize the church just wasn’t for me anymore.
awesome episode!!! thank you
Hey! There’s nothing wrong with having sex as a bonding experience! Before I realized I was ace I had a great time with my ex. There was a lot I wasn’t uncomfortable or uninterested in, but he was so invested in my well being that it was still and overall positive experience. I wasn’t being internally misogynistic for wanting to accommodate his sexual needs, I was trying to reciprocate what he was doing for me.
You're ace, too? I'm aroace!
I Told my daughter and son as they was growing up. if they are gay as far as i was concered it was just as awesome as if they was not. I told them their is no power on this planet that would break my bond, loyalty and unconditional love for them. The Gospel is Awesome, simple and empowering. Religion, tradition, Preisthoods,etc Leads to Misery.
“Just as awesome as if they were not” is a beautiful thing to say. It shows any sexuality as being a positive and that’s a very mature way to go about it
It's only true if by this you meant you were ok with them dating and possibly even marrying someone of the same sex.
Thank you!
As an exmo the church is a factory of shame. If something goes wrong nobody has to shame you, you do it to yourself over and over and suffer in silence with no support.
I can testify to that.
At 34:15. Blessings of serving a mission. Health, personal protection, and family protection are promised. What if this does not happen despite being faithful and fulfilling the mission? There have been missionaries who were sexually assaulted, died, and seriously injured while serving missions. Family members also suffered various losses back home. So how is this explained by the church?
trials to test your faith.
Unfortunately I know a few personally that went through medical issues and were delayed in being able to go home and get appropriate care.
I remember hearing a story about a missionary couple they were elders that were staying in lodgings that were terribly haunted consequently were always tired during the day because of no sleep they kept complaining but it was quite a while though before anyone would listen, so can be problems! The trouble with people is they’re not perfect so they can be selfish and thoughtless sometimes and don’t listen when they should!
What an interesting podcast on a wide-ranging series of topics. I am not Mormon or gay so, this was very enlightening. I want to thank all of you for the intelligent discussion, but most of all Lauren, for her candidness on her sexual history/experience. Her husband has got to be an amazing person to show the love and respect for Lauren that so many others would have just left the marriage and emotionally damaged her further. I find it difficult to understand why the Mormon faith is so callous as to "play God" and ruin so many lives. You just can't pray away physiological, emotional and phycological issues. I wish Lauren, her husband and daughter the very best.
I taught a young girl suffering from kidney disease on my mission, and she wanted to get baptized. The only thing getting in the way was her catheter, which was fine by me and my companion. We understood.
Our district leader told us to go behind this girls back to get her baptized anyway because “the lord would protect her.”
Listening to these podcasts is EXACTLY like listening to Margaret Atwater's The Testaments, the book written after The Handmaid's Tale. If you haven't read/listened to those books, you really should
My son served a mission in Chili nearly 20 years ago. When he came home he told stories that made me cringe. The insanitary diet or access to clean food. While many missionaries experience living among poverty and suffer no access to clean drinking water, I was horrified by what he went through. Additionally he experienced abuse from locals that didn’t want them there. Some places are not suitable for these young people to serve in especially when they have minor health issues that become serious in developing countries. The church doesn’t seem to care how the missionaries suffer health issues. No bueno.
I feel for her…I never went on a mission but I’m disabled now because of physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional abuse I experienced my entire life by a narcissistic orthodox parent and members of the church. Getting depression at 12….knowing I was bi and dealing with all the guilt. Constant bullying for asking questions. Being the only one in my family who is not Mormon….The guilt is still there. I’m close to 50 and I’m still struggling with forgiveness.
I am so hurt with you for what you had to go through. That was so wrong. You are worth so much more. I don’t know what else to say; I am so grieved for what was done to you.
I am from Ghana and I must say that I love listening to your content. However, I think that it is wrong to assume that we live in deplorable conditions and that anyone coming here is going to die or something. I don't think it's a fair representation of us and our lives. Sure, it's not like the US but we love it here and wouldn't trade it for anything else.
I agree that I did not word my interview carefully about that and I am very sorry for my hurtful and inaccurate words. I am learning and trying to improve
I agree 😂 When he mentioned poor conditions in Africa I was like “I’m sure the ones sent to Ghana are just fine.”
I wish you would tell some of the stories of the missionaries that died on Mormon Stories.Also when i think of myself at 18, you are used to your parents taking care of you when you are sick or helping you make decisions about when it is time to go to the doctor or ER. The idea that the church does not take on this parental role is beyond shocking. I wonder if it also comes from a differences in culture?
I really miss the timestamps. I totally understand the time that must take in editing and assume that is probably the leading reason why it wasn't continued, but even a lower effort version perhaps with the non-interviewer jotting down questions the interviewer asks at the time should still be much appreciated. I love following every podcast you out out but can't dedicate the time to watch 100% of each.
Check back tomorrow, they will be up!
@@mormonstories Yay, you two awesome!
I’m Ghanaian. I was highly confused to see a sign about an LDS church in Accra. I had no idea they were targeting us.
Beautiful story and I really enjoyed the movie so much.
Hearing about the way the Mormon missionaries are mistreated and abused is eye-opening. Even as a kid of 8, as a Mormon convert, I had no idea. Return missionaries always acted so happy--I just assumed that missionaries were off living in exciting places and having the times of their lives. This was back in the 1960s but I'm assuming now that the they were enduring the same horror show even back then. My heart goes out to all of them.
Fascinating conversation Extremely educational.
You poor sweet girl. I'm so sorry you had to go thru all that. Using theology to cause so much pain.
Never understood why parents would take their own kids to the bishops. Their kids are doing the same thing and getting away with it.
Thank you, Lauren! I came out to myself when I was 28. I didn't recognize i was a lesbian because I couldn't. I describe it as an equation I was stuck in. I knew I wasn't evil and the church had taught me that gay thoughts were evil, so therefore I wasn't gay. I didn't want to be evil and denying gay-ness was required to be good.
I had a missionary sister come visit me in my home years ago and she was obviously in a lot of pain and being a woman I guessed she was suffering from terrible period cramps so I let her rest in my home for a while and gave her painkillers then she had to go.
This sounds like a really amazing law suit!!
it would be, if she had a chance of winning.
So she *paid* to be salesperson for a multibillion dollar company while being starved and being overworked, got a lifelong disability and told she had to repent for her trouble?
Doctors didn't believe my wife had chronic fatigue. Absolutely zero surprise the church didn't know what to do with it. It's very under-researched to this day.
Oh my.....I'm so glad I have
Always brought "missionaries" inside, out of the heat or cold and insisted on feeding them.
They HAD to eat or I wouldn't listen to their speil.