The Covenant - ralphthemoviemaker
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ต.ค. 2017
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Fun fact: I was sick the day this video came out. I was bed-bound with the flu, in a half-conscious state so I just decided to watch some movie reviews with autoplay on. After a few hours of sweating silently in my bed, I felt myself trying to doze off but I couldn't because I was so sick. Fast forward to this video coming on, and this was when I was barely awake. It was going fine. Then the #horror section of the video came on. It felt like I was having a fucking illness-induced seizure. I felt like I was having a panic attack and severe fever at the same time. I genuinely didn't think this was actually real until I woke up this morning and rewatched the video. Holy shit.
LuckyStoneDragon is it weird to piss blood?
Oh lord
Be careful
Edgy Veggie Nah you're alright as long as you don't feel the gay
Crippling Sadness and dank memes stuck a drill in my urethral
The montages in #horror looks like the bowling animations.
rich l'il frogg nigga LMFAO
Marcus Zyker nah man. I don't know if you've seen the animations on the score monitors in a bowling alley, but it's those animations I mean.
rich l'il frogg nigga no I have XD. I was just playing dumb
"homoerotic subtext" i feel like it stopped being "sub" text after the direct kiss on the mouth
Domtext
Bottomtext
*_The Covenant is my Captain America: The Winter Soldier fanfiction._*
its a masterpiece
It's certainly homoerotic enough.
I’d read that fanfic
Ralph thought the coat was gonna be an easy grab. But it ain’t no easy grab, they got T.
The Special Broccoli actually laughed at this thanks lol
Hah.
The Special Broccoli i subbed to you for the name
I don't get it
you need to watch his video on sleepless to get the joke, and please do its an amazing joke
@@Sehon13Ultd
Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners. I've heard that you've had some hush consherns about your package. I've already releases the drone on the post man and have set up 31 cameras in the post office, 76 cameras in the mailbox, and 12 cameras in your package.
You don't need 12 cameras to fully capture Ralph's tiny package.
I love this meme to death.thxs for this lmao
Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners *shush
Is the deliverer the mythical Iraqi food cart man?
You fucking bitch, stealing my god damn name
At least people with red-green colorblindness won't struggle to watch covenant
daaaaaaaaamn.gif
as a person with red green colorblindness i can confirm that i could indeed watch the covenant. 10/10 wouldnt add color again
That's me.
People with blue-yellow colorblindness are SOL though
This is when Disney planted Macon
But he doesn't even shit on DC in this video
@@herpderpitypurple73 Indeed, they made sure to send Macon when he wasn't reviewing a DC film to not look suspicious.
@@kato856 Clever
Kamijou Shiina Like when he reviewed transformers. Macon was there
Investigate 311
The band?
"I'm happier than a pedophile in a daycare"- Ralph Sepe Jr. 2017
Varinder Bhandal you’re everywhere.
You’re*
Joshua Kelp. Juice well you didn’t.
Get some grammar nigga.
Professor Cube fat poos fat lol
Disabled people aren't physically or mentally disadvantaged, they are just in the awkward phase of ascending. I get it. Like when that disabled character in Batman vs Superman blew up his wheelchair, he was just ascending and as a result caused an explosion. It makes so much more sense now.
Don't reveal the secret! People need to think I'm weak before I ascend and fuck their shit.
icup joke XD
It makes so much sense now
Wait....a guy in a wheelchair blew up so he could ascend...? Ascension.....higher plane.....Great Ones.....Bloodborne.....
Dude, Gehrman was in a wheelchair.
welcome back to my favorite RTMM episode
me too adoihfs
Long story short, The Covenant is what happens when a bicurious filmographer reads too much Harry Potter and listens to too much My Chemical Romance.
"That thing between your legs. It's like a penis, only smaller."
this is probably the best line in the movie
Gem Merchant He says to a person who appearently is wearing pants.
Which is also one of the most overused lines of dialogue in movies with any sort of innuendo.
"Dudes, she hasn't worn panties since she was 12." Whoever wrote the script needs a background check and every hard drive they own scanned.
bitches always be leaving kiss-prints on all the bus seats
Lazogna Lazogna What kinda busses have you been in?
Octogon Smuggler
The right ones apparently
Von_Sternberg i
Von_Sternberg jj
*Fun fact:* The Covenant was shipped to theaters under the code name, "Full Power".
If only it was called Ascend!
What was it ship as that
I unironically loved The Covenant when I was in middle school. It was just the awesome edgy shit teenage me ate up.
I just liked it for the powers.
Hah, GAY
I can imagine you with tour black makeup and dark clothing
The story is mediocre but I still love it for the action scenes and the nostalgia. Tbh I just watched it yesterday since its getting close to Halloween
Adonan the Stoic agreed
"They're witches... don't quote me on that" Ralphthemoviemaker- 2017
They're Saiyans.
*2012
The Covenant is just too smart for you Ralph
and too gay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It could never be too gay for Ralph
why is baby driver being so mean to sick boy
Wow, he actually blew up a building for the outro. That's some dedication right there.
Twilight fans rejoice, for now you can say "still a better love story than The Covenant"
"Yaay our movie was better!" Yeah... But this is covenant? Right? Twilight fans:"SHUTUPHATER!!!!"
Sorry, but ANYTHING is better than Twilight. Because there is nothing good about Twilight - and I'm not even a fan of the vampire mythos. I love seeing the vampire mythos get fucked with to make it more interesting - just NOT like Twilight.
Shakur Burton Twilight had a good soundtrack and Anna Kendrick.
The fight scene in the last Twilight movie was enjoyable
Shakur Burton Sorry bro but Twilight is hilariously bad and campy fun. I’m so glad it became a pop culture phenomenon even if Vampire Sucks and Breaking Wind exist because of the series.
(sees moist naked men)
*I M A S C E N D I N G*
Doctor Dank i
When it really comes down to it, The Covenant is a movie about family.
And thats what's so powerful about it
vin diesel moment
@@robot2971 LMAOOO
I think the story of DmC: Devil May Cry might've been inspired by the covenant
Most of the characters even looks like emo dante. The guy in the thumbnail looks like ben shapiro too.
@@LikeADamnFIDDLE Could you imagine Ben Shapiro as a character in DMC?
I was definitely getting Devil May Cry 5 vibes, especially the three characters including V look eerily like this.
Except DMC is actually good...
RIP in piece, Michael "Baby Driver" Cera, my favorite video game reviewer.
He has ascended.
R.I.P. Ralph's Roommate's Nice Wooden Comb
The McRib thanks, I appreciate it
Zach Churnetski Are you his roommate? Haha
The McRib yuh
Zach Churnetski woah really?
Zach Churnetski Cool, hopefully you can find a good replacement
“It’s as if she’s been bitten by hundreds of insects. Like spiders.”
Thanks doc but I remember learning in the first grade that spiders are arachnids not insects.
“Get Shane Dawson away from me”
“Happier than an p*do in a daycare”
These things have aged finer than wine 🍷
Yes, it has indeed
The actor that played Baby in Baby Driver has also been accused of assaulting someone in their teens so double yikes
@@justTeysa really, holy shit.
@@mariovsspongebob56536 Yup, it came to light during the big BLM protests so it was swept under the rug mostly but if you google it it comes up
#Horror predicted Logan Pauls suicide forest video
Cornerman just came here to say the same thing.
Cornerman I think I'm #woke now LMAOOOOO
Cornerman Ralph: "who even likes and shares this kind of video"
Apparently 500k Logan Paul fans.
I thought the same thing when he said "who would like and share that?" ehhhhhh
Darshan Raj åå
"Covenant" is probably the closest we'll ever have to a big budget adaption of "My Immortal"
The Covenant is just My Immortal without the dress up montages.
This is possibly the most accurate comment I have ever read
Woah, WTH it is back!
"To get a million views I'd kill a kid. Why not?" - Ralph Sepe
"Bitten by thousands of INSECTS like SPIDERS"
"insects"
"spiders"
arrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhh
No
Samuel Jackson shut upp
Bro, Insects, Like SPIDERS sxjksahdwdjksj chsjdghwq lkcdjshs wpo;cl jnxb dfuck dcksajd alkdfjas
At least she wasn't torn apart by hundreds of Canines, like Cats.
Samuel Jackson neeeerd
Spiders are not insects they form part chelicerata.
I'm glad this is back i laughed my ass off to this few years ago
The final fight in The Covenant is how Ben Shapiro imagines his arguments.
Too funny, no wonder he always has that annoying smug look
@Dorian Green But in cases where he talks to almost anyone else (except the people he pays and his family), it's just badly choreographed attempted murder.
@Dorian Green
Ironic since he's the first to play the antisemitism card
Dorian Green are you the guy who wrote the covenant
Dorian Green INCEL ALERT 🚨
In The Covenant edginess is power. Literally the first thing they do is fly off the EDGE of a cliff.
Stop watching Naruto, because it sucks and get job!
@@TheCheesybeef 15:18 Ha, you called it.
@@gloriouscontent3538 fuck off
@@bakedpancakes5054 hes right tho
@@bakedpancakes5054 hes right tho
Ralph is my favourite black TH-camr.
Varinder Bhandal same
Varinder Bhandal he’s a Barney
Varinder Bhandal what about Dunkey?
Floodrunner_ 20 He's from Puerto Rican descent.
Varinder Bhandal mine is dunkey
I found out on IMDB Steven Crowder was some extra in this movie. Weird thing to find just by chance.
Dude, you're right😅
Well we have to admit it a man with his intelligence probably will enjoy this piece of crap
I can't get over the fact that the dude in the thumbnail looks just like Ben Shapiro
Own the libtards
Steven Crowder was an extra apparently.
With the power of facts and logic I have ascended
When your doctor doesn't know that spider are not insects, but arachnids.... honestly, if your doctor is that dumb the you don't have much a chance either way.
Right, that was my thought too
Missing one detail of information doesn't make a person dumb, we all have a lot of info in our heads that we get wrong all the time. And i don't think that piece of information would be that important for a doctor to know.
To be fair, entomology and physiology are two different subjects.
Sidecutt3 no sir, that is not a detail that is a simply fact most should know by highschool age. And how will you treat the world's most dangerous spider bite when you don't even know what spiders are 😂
Sidecutt3 it is very important when he is trying to treat spider bites lol how will he treat a spider bite if he doesn't even know what a spider is?
#horror felt like a fever dream and for the longest time i was convinced it wasn’t actually a real movie and i made it all up in my head
agataa Same, I thought it was a purposefully bad movie comp CG film Ralph was trying to make a point about modernization with. But then I searched #horror and it was a real 2015 Movie.
Same, first time I watched it was at an overnight sleepover at like 3:00 in the morning. Friends and i legit thought we were having a brain aneurysm watching it
Crazy how Macon was a government agent the whole time
Disney isn't the government :P
@nejdalej With how much they've changed US law, they might as well be
Its fantastic to watch Sebastian Stan's (Bucky Barnes) reaction when interviewers bring this movie up. Its like he thinks if he just pretends he wasn't in this movie hard enough, it'll be true, and they're crushing his newly created reality.
The Covenant= My immortal fanfic turned into a movie
My Immortal as written by a guy who’s slightly more literate than Tara.
Xianos only slightly
Well, their story writing skills are almost identical.
I don't know...My immortal at least made me laugh. This one makes me sad.
@@androidinblack5291 theres no way that was a guy
I feel like the whole "Macon" story is so specific that it's like... for... someone... like someone did exactly what Macon did in this video, and they know who they are.
Fossil Dyna Pachycephalo we will never know
It was me. I poisoned his son.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Looking back on this, it’s so specific like it HAS to be about someone
When Macon is his only acknowledgement of his fans though, it comes off kinda shitty.
Shayna C.S. True, but it’s important to keep in mind it’s a comedic exaggeration
fun fact: at 8:14 I legit thought that the transition was some joke terrible editing to parody the actual terrible editing
Lol
9:16
Thanks for unlisting this and other og uploads. Trolls remorse is definitely real but god damn these were good times
why'd he unlist all his videos?
Probably trolls remorse
@Bubblepoppin why trolls remorse? Didn't seem like he was being hateful
During an interview for Civil War, the Covenant was brought up by an interviewer and Sebastian Stan's reaction of regret was just priceless.
I'm having trouble finding it though.
If you do find it please link it.
I've been trying without success :(
Anthony Mackie was also present.
I dont believe it, i actually found it LOL. It happens around 2mins into the interview.
th-cam.com/video/P9boDl-fJKA/w-d-xo.html
Thanks
He even mouthed something like damnit and he looked so done XD. He is regretting his life choices. But he was still the best thing about that train wreck. Btw I don't know who is the blonde guy (the one who said:Harry Potter can kiss my ass) but I wanted to punch him so bad every time he was one screen.
His face says *"NO"* but his armpits say "I'm Italian"
im Greek and i thought everybody had the same armpits
"I'm ascending."
*epic music plays
And everything around you explodes*
i bursted out laughing when that shit happened
That's some jojo type shit
I used to watch the covenant all the time because I had a crush on Sebastian Stan
The only valid reason to watch it!
That's why this is like the only Ralph video I avoid watching. 😆 cuz I avoid watching any media with Sebastian. I have to for my own sanity and focus on work. I developed an addiction to The Winter Soldier and Civil War. I haven't watched any Marvel movie after Civil War, can't let myself watch any media on it, or any media w/him.
I don't know why I wrote this out but am I the only one that can't handle being a fan of things, can't handle obsession, and I just cut myself off. It's easier.
I am a drug addict though, IDK if that makes it worse. 😂
Anyways, I can't finish this video before I end up relapsing and start rewatching Marvel trailers again lol.
@@sorryifoldcomment8596 what the fuck
"Ｉ ｈａｖｅ Ａｓｃｅｎｄｅｄ"
*S I Z E I S N ' T E V E R Y T H I N G*
ralph: ascend
Justin Young my ascension millennium 🙃...Corey Feldman style 🤗
Why are you on every Single video and who spawned you in this hell
Justin Young fuck off
I was Ralph's age when this movie came out lol the 2000's edginess is off the charts
The 2000s was also known for using an uncomfortable amount of wide-angle lenses in their movies.
I was 14 when this came out.
I was too lol!
When Macon ascends at the end it kills me every time
18:59 Man the live-action JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable movie really took some creative licenses.
Captain Ham CURAZY DIAMONDO
Honestly the effects in the movie look equally dated to live action part 4
Wow I almost cut myself on that edge there.
no one hates the covenant more than Sebastian Stan
At least Marvel HEAVILY improved his career!
Lmao I had a stroke when I first saw him in this shit show of a movie
He called out Shane Dawson two years ago haha
my exact thought haha
We're back??? Yo???
I'm glad you exist, Ralph.
Telic ever get your equipment back, man?
Oh hey Telic, any updat about the studio?
Actually yeah, guys ill have an update video soon on my studio being replaced after the robbery. i got a few things replaced
Honestly I would like him but he's black so I can't watch him anymore.
I feel like you're slowly losing your mind with the more videos you make. Getting pissed off more, talking to yourself, fucking things up,
I love it
He even made a new retarded fictional character
Ti My Wait, Ralph is fictional?
Ralph filming interactions with himself has more emotional weight than about 90% of the performances he reviews.
That #horror opening gave me brain damage.
I remember I was in a fight once and I was getting my ass handed to me. But then...... I ASCENDED
*Edgy Rock Music™*
asscended one might say
"Who would watch a video about a dead person?"
I dunno, but Logan Paul and his friends thought something similarly dumb...
Too soon...
Brian Aguilar Still alive... yay
If only the video was about Logan himself..
@Christopher Marlowe Wow. You think he was mistreated? The national moronic rich douchebag didn't get his chance because people didn't get his way of making "art"?
how dare u, discount taylor lautner is steven strait, who was warren peace in the iconic masterpiece sky high
Solyn Cassia omg that was a great flick! Right up there with Lemonade Mouth!
He's also Holden in The Expanse. Great show
we're so back
The Covenant feels like a movie adaptation of that bad Harry Potter fanfic, "My Immortal"
It also feels like a DCEU movie prototype
'...that bad Harry Potter fanfic...' In other words - Harry Potter....OHHHHHHHHHH!!!
@@knshinn2 Nah.
Jacob Mould shooting angrily
You mean the amazing, ahead of its time fanfic, “my immortal”
#Horror looks like those parody horror movies you see in actual horror movies.
Imagine Ralph in 10 years being a big Hollywood director and you add 2 sugars instead of 3 into his coffee. Then remember the first 2 minutes of this video.
"It's almost as if she'd been bitten by hundreds of insects. Like spiders, which are arachnids and not six-legged insects at all"
The most scary part was I think at the end of the movie Charles Stiles released the drone.
ShadowBlade :6 thirty-four cameras have been installed in the drone area
Mai El Taweel it might even be more than that
I'm sorry I can't watch your channel anymore there wasn't enough edge
Zparty4 said No one ever
"Staring down at your leapster" killed me
Only edgy wizards use mops to fly
PREMIUM PICKAXE only shotty writers call spiders "insects"
I use a swiffer sweeper to fly.
Suddenly I am overwhelmed by your resemblance to Michael Cera.
He really wants to be the Baby Driver but we all know he's just Evan from SuperBad. And we love him for it.
Mattytime no stop i hate michael cera
I always thought he looked and sounded like an older Tom Holland (from spiderman).
Figurative Sandwich hey, Michael Cera banged Aubrey Plaza
Mattytime he doesn't look like that guy at all. He looks like the older dude from stranger things.
The title sequence of #horror is 100% a rip-off of Enter The Void
Edit: I commented this before he mentioned Enter The Void about 10 seconds later. RIP
The start of this video is legit the funniest thing I've ever seen in a review. I come here whenever I'm bummed out and it immediately cheers me up.
34:38 R.I.P.
Ralph Sepe
1864 - 2017
He is already forgotten.
who?
The scariest part of the movie was that THEY GOT T
THEY GOT T
eddie囍 You see... this guy. He’s got a lot of enemies.
You da sauce.
eddie囍 He said it was just gon be an easy grab
Time to release the drone.
"Get That Ass Banned"
This is your finest work sir thank you
I had forgotten I'd seen the covenant until halfway through the review, when I heard the, "That girl hasn't worn panties since...." line. That's a line that sticks with you.
the only thing I remember about that movie is that particular ass, that's it, it is the only frame that is still in my mind
I seriously thought you had added the opening credits. Like I didnt think a movie could ever produce this...
Thegameres you could be talking about either of the movies he talked about. Lol
Turns out there is such a thing as too much editing
Nobody can make this shit up for a review if they tried.
This is why You give some adult guys the freedom of making a movie they dont know shit about modern society and how to edit.
You actually do look sorta like Ansel Elgort.
Ayyyyyy peak Ralph has returned
"We get in poorly shot car chases."
That's my favorite thing to do as a teenager
Didn't us all?
I'm sorry Ralph I doubted you in the opening to #horror. I just couldn't fathom the fact that those were the true opening title sequence. I went and watched the first 3 minuets. I will never doubt you again.
16:18 cops heading down OLD TOWN ROAD?
movie's ahead of its time
I'm sorry that the person who built your bathroom thought it was a good idea to place shelves directly above the toilet
Hahaha thanks for showing me the worst band in existence
Best*
Nah, look up GG Allin
Holy Charles Stiles, a 36 minute Halloween Special!
CHARLES STILES MYSTERY DINERS
Hi CHARLES STILES MYSTERY DINERS
CHARLES STILES MYSTERY DINERS
CHARLES STILES, MYSTERY DINERS
Hi I'm Charles stiles, i work for a company called mystery dinners
Geez! #Horror looks like if the editor snorted cocaine and watched a sped-up version of Suicide Squad and DiCaprio's Romeo + Juliet for inspiration.
Mindd Kidzag 100% accurate
With a dash of Enter The Void (like Ralph mentioned) and some goddamn emojis for some reason.
In a horror film.
Speaking of cocaine, pocket mirror 1:38
That is actually the most insane thing I´ve ever seen.. Makes the editors of the latest transformers seem sedated in comparison. I know there´s incompetent filmmakers out there, but seeing that in a screening and saying "yup, that´s good! Let´s release that!"? It´s beyond comprehension.
It also appears to be written by a 40 year old who got a smartphone 2 years ago and is now an 'expert' on what the kids are into these days...
Shame I didn’t discover Ralph’s channel until recently. Better late than never, I suppose. Great content
Ralph: 9:50
Me: *Checks Views*
Me: Ralph... what did you do?
RIP: Ralph's roommates comb
I thought the editing Suicide Squad was terrible. Holy shit.
Learn how to make a sentence
Blue-Eyed Angel #horror has ADHD editing.
Fluff You forgot the full stop.
eldospinks technically I don't need to add "full" because that's just a sorta "enhancing word." You don't need to have it in, because without it, the sentence still works, so though saying "learn how to make a full sentence" would work, so would "learn how to make a sentence" so technically my sentence still makes sense and has the same impact. Adding "full" just makes it more specific I guess.
Fluff The little dot at the end of a sentence. You did not use one.
"discount Taylor Lautner" LOL! Taylor Lautner is discount Taylor Lautner.
pretty sure that's Steven Strait, now known for The Expanse-- Taylor Lautner is still discount Taylor Lautner
The Covenant is actually so dumb it doesn’t know that spiders aren’t insects
"At least they have decent color in the opening..." *Roll Credits*