How You Know YOU Aren't HER First Choice & Why You Should Dump Her if You Aren't
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
- Most men suffer in long term relationships, and marriages because women can't settle on their first choice, so they take "good enough" here's how you avoid that.
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My girl was behaving that way, then stopped completely in 24 hours and said she needs space. Peaced on me.
You're like "Cosmo" for men ;-)
Why can't I see your number of subscribers? Did you hide it yourself?
Dude I wish someone like you had spoken to me 20 years ago 😔 Men stand up straight and support yourself and make choices for yourself. Been through the separation blender luckily I see my son regularly and I made it through to the other side. I'm one of the lucky ones, but I got the vibes and ignored them while other women interfered with my relationship, funny how they're all single and desperate now while my ex is settled and we get along and she's staring her own business while i strive to keep my physical condition and top up my retirement fund and make sure my son has what he needs.
Soap leaves a film in your shower. Use body wash.
Always trust your gut. If you feel something is off, then it is.
When there's doubt then there's no doubt!
So damn true.
Not acting swiftly cost me 5 years, many friends, opportunities and caused a lot of anxiety. You could feel she is not in your frame. You will feel she is guarded with you but with other was too open.
@Jonathan F i had a gf for 2,5 years she did everything for me i had a bad feeling about her all the time . At the end i know she do everything for a man not especially for me .
Maybe its the same case for you.
Dont ignore the signs.
Absolutely true, but we find out the hard way....
A woman I was seeing broke it off with me to go back to her ex. I didn't get mad. I just figured I was the second choice and she actually did me a favor. A month later she calls me up and says she broke up with the guy, wanting a second chance with me. I told her straight up, "I was your second choice, so if I wasn't good enough for you then, I'm not good enough for you now."
Respect.
Respect to you
True alpha mentality
Good for you... That's the perfect riddance.
I would'a taken her back for the time being, and then upgraded when appropriate.
She makes all the rules for the beta and breaks all of them for the alpha.
The alpha makes the rules to begin with she just conforms to them
EXACTLY best comment
It is as it is. Rules are from mind breaking them from emotions. Bad boys can trigger emotions. There are rare womans who can resist emotional temptation - very rare.
The rule she makes are for betas even if they call themselves alphas. Alphas make rules that the woman will follow.
Exactly it.
Solid advice, I got married and I am just now realizing I'm not her first choice. Terrible feeling no one should suffer through
Been there too, she eventually left me. I had no clue she was begging another guy to marry her 3 days before me.
You are not first my brother
But you are wiser for women nature now
At least you got insight and that's a great quality. However you are a Man and you can increase your SMV continuously if you work on it . Soon you will surpass the value of whoever she was pining for . Then create competition anxiety and learn game , you will be in charge of her after that. Remember a Man's value can increase over time , women's do not.
@@Vin-nx1pb well said soild advice, me personally I'd leave immediately if I found out I wasn't her first choice 🤣
Great and important message in this short video. If there is any doubt that you are not her first choice: DO NOT MARRY. It will never work out and you will end up in my office. If a woman truly desires you, she will crawl under barbed wire, in a blizzard, climb up the fire escape and through your bedroom window, with your favorite hot meal (in an insulated tote bag), and then proceed to rip your clothes off just to be with you. Do NOT ever be someone’s second choice or backup plan.
@@jojojijo3336 frankly, that is the safest thing for any high value man to do in today’s environment.
Even then..... familiarity breeds contempt in women. That will wear off and she will resent you.
@@johngalt6838 that may be true, but it is very much out of your control. If you never get that burning desire from her in the first place, it cannot ever be negotiated. You can’t buy it (nor should anyone even try). Many guys find out too late (post marriage).
Are you a divorce attorney?
@@blair5475 He is. There's a BTT episode with him from about a month or two ago that's a must watch.
All married men must confront the fact that she wanted a higher value man than you but she could not wait longer.
Or that she passed him up and is now “settling” with you
I felt this shit hard
Deep - salt in the wound- truth there
Truth. When men like Brad Pitt can't keep a woman happy, what chance do us mere mortals have? Hint: notice Leonardo Decaprio never marries anyone...
T
R
U
T
H
HAS BEEN SPOKEN.
The moment you start questioning yourself whether you're her first choice, it means you probably aren't.
Agreed. That is a good sign to watch for.
Thanks for telling it as it is Bruh. Much Respect man.
My beta friend, quit his job because it conflicts with his new girlfriend, as he was hitting me up to borrow $250 Guys don't be that friend.
Update: I got him the job. The girl he quit for, left him already.
He claimed that him and her and her daughter were now a family and that family is more important then spending a lot of time at a job. Mind you he already claimed the whole family, after being together for a month. It basically conflicts with him being up her ass.
@Deez Nuts you got that right. Make yourself first. The rest will be easy.
Update on a mechanic who is dating a woman across the street from me. She is a real trouble maker, calls the cops on him when he does nothing wrong. She is a drunk. I was out of town starting another business. He always does jobs for me. The mechanic asked me for a job Thursday. It's now Sunday. I come home on Friday with an hub assembly to a pull behind trailer at my door steps. So I called him and asked him if he can do the job on Saturday or Sunday. He said (she) the woman he is dating said love becomes before $ and he can do the job on Monday. Well I hired another mechanic because I'm going out of town Monday morning with that trailer. He lost on another job.
No human married male is her first choice. There is always a mysterious mythical fantasy that is better.
I agree. I've seen this time and time again at friends houses (and even some relatives) and it's the picture of the famous actor or musician that the woman put on the fridge. Watch out for this as it's more common that you'd think.
Ouch my dad needs to hear this
@@bullettomy7thheart in all honesty, every guy does to.....I just think they accept reality and are content more than most women. Men rarely actually resent spouses for not being their fantasy. There are exceptions.......
I respectfully disagree. NAWALT. But i do agree that is true for most women.
@@Ace.0.0.0. sure......maybe a bit hyperbolic....but certainly enough of a rule to explain female resentment.
I feel bad for most men who never experience what a woman lusting after them is like.
Sorry if this sounds like bragging, but I've had the experience of a younger married woman lusting hard on me in office. Everyone could see it. I made sure to not reciprocate in any way because, duh, she's married, I'm not an asshole and you shouldn't mix work and relationships. Point is, it's not always great to have someone lusting hard for you, it can be uncomfortable and wrong too. Also, if you have a crooked woman lusting for you and you reciprocate, that's not going to end well for you.
That feeling might be great for a while, but acting on it is a whole different thing and that should be done after giving it substantial thought using your brain and no other parts.
@@anandsharma7430 My entire self esteem is based on women lusting after me. Its kinda sad. I am about to hit the wall age wise too.
@@needparalegal There's a lot of things to do in life so that you can look back and say you lived a full and happy life. Lust is just one of them. I guess if you are crossing an age threshold, you are about to find a dozen other good and worthwhile things to do. If life is a meal, and there is a varied menu to choose from, if you only eat the hot, spicy food, you miss out on the smoothies, the ice-cream, the healthy food on the menu. You've been busy focussing on the spicy, so when you can't get more spicy hot stuff, you can start looking at the other good food on the plate of life. It won't be spicy, but it will be delicious, nutritious and plenty pleasurable. Good luck on your journey!
@@anandsharma7430 Men don't live very long after the hitting the wall age. I plan to kill as many traitors as can before I am too old to fight the real enemies of my country.
@@needparalegal 😂😂
I married a girl who seemed to put me first in the beginning, but we got divorced 5 years later. I had my doubts about her and still married her. My point is go with your gut and don't settle.
What doubts did you have before marriage
@@GandalftheWise probably fron her actions, you can feel it through instincts
@@mh-tw4kx I'd be cautious about that, can also be insecurity on the guy's side and she was annoyed by it after 5 years, you don't know her version.
My theory is that women can only keep up an act for a year. So if they still worship you after a year you may be good. After years of meditation I can see through any act, so I know right away what a woman is like.
@@kareendeveraux1847 mad 304 detected😂
I dated a girl with strong burning desire who exhibited almost all of the traits listed in the video for 1.5 years and crushed her heart because she knew I didn't want to get married (at this point in my life anyway). I'm so grateful and glad I got to date her and experience that burning desire because I can compare every girl to her and not waste time with the users and abusers.
similar with me. I had this girl pine for me, but i was indiffirent. I did my own thing and didnt make her a priority. She eventually went to another guy. I know she doesnt want to be with him but stays for fear of being alone. Im her first choice and her new guy knows it too. Their relationship sounds awful but they are both needy and to weak to realize its not working.
@@hussainomar9958 hope you have her back :)
Agreed, all men must experience a woman’s unrestrained burning desire, makes shifting through the time wasters infinitely easier
@@hussainomar9958 you are beta
Stop talking about your feelings
you guys are soft
I hate to admit it...but, I did all of the things listed when I was dating my now husband. I was 25, he was my first choice, I was crazy for him (still am 20 yrs later)
I still dress up, keep myself in shape, cook him his favourite dishes and do my best to impress him everyday. I know I'm very lucky...I want him to feel that way too. Our daughters (18 & 17) tell us that our marriage is their life goal.
I enjoy these videos alot...they fill in the blanks when I wonder why things turned out so well and I take the advice given on how I can be a better wife.
Nice to see initiative, and dont hate to admit it. Instead be proud
He's a lucky man
You are a unicorn
You are an exception wife and blessing to your family
Rare
Fellas, remember; A kind gesture becomes an expectation. An expectation becomes a demand.
All the way down to doormat status...
@TruthSeekingOni that's sadly something that happens if you are with one person for long enough ... after 7-10 years or so alot of the thing syou do has become the new normal.
there is pretty much no way to prevent this from happening.
Only if you allow it.
"Ooo... My teachings absorbs you well my young padawan" - master Yoda
Aka when a gift becomes a curse
If you have to spit on your hand in order to penetrate, walk away, she just doesn’t like you 🤷🏼♂️
"Choose women that choose you."
Good luck finding that, nowadays.
@High Tcel Lol Okay there, kiddo.
@The Sven Exactly. Women's first choice is always the top; anything less than that and she'll feel like she's "settling" for "good enough." If a woman feels like she's "settling", she's not going to chase you.
Yep, not gonna happen
@High Tcel Dig in the garbage all you want.
Improve yourself. Or as Rich says - Do the work. You will then find more women are interested in you, and you will have more choice. Then continue to do the work, and she will stay. However, let her know directly, or indirectly that you will leave if she does not do her work. Let her know that there is no room in your life for a couch potato.
The men, women marry are not usually their first choice. And I heard/witnessed it myself. I was working in a coffee shop when these late thirty something ladies enter. They were talking about one of their friend who marry a guy even though she didn't like him because he has resources and no other better option, as other men were players.
The friend's exact quote: "Oh, she just married him because he has a house and no one is properly courting her anymore."
There's the truth!
AWALT
Chase Excellence
Poor guy
The making of a married incel
Some guys won’t leave cause they can’t do better in their opinion
THIS is exactly what this community is all about, helping you make yourself better and letting you know you are better! Be the Prize!
Yup
It’s because men(well, 90% of them) have to do a lot of work to get into a relationship.
It's literally a numbers game. I can't pull all 10s, but 1 of them will be into me.
@@RN-gx7wt Fear is ALWAYS the reason for anger. This is one of the most enlightening things I ever heard. It has caused me to re-evaluate many things from my past. Now they make sense.
This is spot on. Any time a man has to work at anything in a relationship, he is not her first choice. The intimacy thing is a dead giveaway.
Marriage breeds familiarity. Even when they have a high desire for you, that’s a measure at that point in time. Come back and measure that desire three years into marriage or, five or ten years. People change. So in the end, marriage takes a strong, high character which many don’t have.
True
25 five years in. Truth.
Very underrated comment
Things can go wonky a few years in with two young people, say you are 25 and she is 22. After a few happy (lustful) years together, you both get lazy. She's kinda fat from all the drinking you do now. You have lost it a bit...can happen WAY early on. Even when it was hot at first. Just depends on how each takes care of themselves.
In heat, Robert deNiro said, “don’t let yourself get attached to anything you’re not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat, if you feel the heat coming around the corner.”
My take on this is thus:
“Be prepared to drop a bitch over some bullshit at any given moment, every moment.”
Word!
Great quote....same movie...."for me, the action is the juice"...lol
And yet deniro got attached to a woman in the movie.
Sadly, most guys only learn this through one or more failed or miserable relationships. If you’re still young, act on this information now, it will change the outcome of your life.
I've been that guy. But now I know that it gets so much worse if you don't leave. There are far worse things than being single.
Those guys who have done transformations which can be lifestyle but more so physical transformation, will experience the difference in true eagerness to please vs just going with the flow. I had raunchier nsa sex when I was bulked up compared to relationship sex when I was thin (repeated over a number of different periods), but the change in effort beyond sex was also very obvious. sucks but thats the way it is and for sure fat women who get a trim figure will say the same.
I would add another indicator to EIC's list. He mentioned her dressing up when out with you, but also how much effort she makes to keep a trim figure or how narky she gets if you mention her weight gain will be an indicator as well imo.
Beautifully said
@@kuunami I echo your words
very blessed im getting into all this at 23 and not 35.
Women crave the beginning of a relationship, when the reality starts setting in they get bored and find the next sucker to provide that new relationship "hot and heavy" feeling
I was in a marriage that was awful and I wasn't no where near here first choice. But when I separated I learned my true value. There are women that will worship you fellas... just grind and get your life together.
Life's together, gym, look decent, decent income. But nothing's changed since before I was employed 5 years ago.
Yeah same, I'm top 3% for my age group income wise. Still invisible to women, except at work but can't do shit with them since I'm the boss. I work out but an below average height and looks wise.
I think success with women has more to do with your social life than anything else. Having real connections with people is the way to go in life.
@@JB-kx9bx meaning having a great social media precence, instagram etc? Yeah I have a hard time with that too. I bet introversion will be breeded out thanks to the internet and womens desire for socially apt men, which is more visible online.
Don't be bothered by not being her first choice fellas. Most likely she's not your first choice either lol 🤣🤣🤣
lmao true
Dat Tru I like bigguns . Hers are itsy bitsy. Among other things
I somewhat disagree. I believe that women fuck who they want, men fuck who they can, but the opposite goes for marriage - women marry who they can, men marry who they want (since we are the gatekeepers of relationships) and if that is true, we are saying they are our first choice.
@@jkmeans No you're wrong, actually both men and women in most cases are NOT with who they originally chose. Because women commonly overvalue themselves seeking wealthy men that's out of their league. They eventually become single moms after unsuccessful attempts to trap these men, they then seek nice guys to marry to help care for those children, while stalking the child's father on social media and bashing his new girlfriend and saying "All men are dogs". In men's cases, our first choices usually fall victim to this same nature in women, as she will always look to seek a man of higher value than YOU, until you get tired of being a doormat and kick her to the curb and find someone who will appreciate everything you have to bring in a relationship.
The difference is most guys don't think they DESERVE better and are therefore ENTITLED for better and less likely to be all pissy about it and then leave when they just can't take another minute with their second choice.
As someone who has seen both sides of the spectrum, it is completely 100% true.
I have had women who I call, and text up like an idiot, and they will just leave you on read or answer whenever couple days later.
And I have had women, who ask if I can see them, I say no, and they ask if they can come over themselves then.
If a woman wants you, she will make an effort!
One of my mates had a girl who would drive across town to blow him on his whim. not sex with her just oral for him. Thats a good IOI. Another had a booty call who also loaded him up with pre-cooked meals to take back home for the week. That's another good IOI. lol
Everyone is connected to their phones these days. If it takes her days, she's just not that into you
And how did you treat the women that "wanted" you so much?
They will do the most, 100%
So true. It is that simple.
A woman from work asked me to help her cut down a tree in her yard. I quoted her a price. She got a confused look on her face and got some other guys to help her do it for free. Not sure why they went for that.
They probably sold or used the wood....payment might have been an agreement with WE CUT THE TREE DOWN..WE KEEP THE WOOD.
@@BLITZY261 nice trade.
🤣🤦🏾♂️
@Jonny sounds like something Yoda would say! Lol
@@BLITZY261 or that guy might have given her his wood.
If she's a single mother, you aren't her 1st choice. Unfortunately, like yourself, most people have to learn the hard way even with this good advice and friends slapping you in the head.
These lessons are never learned at school or anywhere. It is so important, have seen so many marriages where the couple is living sleeping separated in a different room pretending marriage only because of children.
These are also often things which wont be talked extensively ans openly in society, which is a shame
I grew up my whole life seeing my father and mother sleeping in separate rooms.
Just summed up my parents
Most of my divorce clients have not slept with their spouse for years. Sad but true.
In school first you get the lesson, then you get the test. In life first you get the test, then you get the lesson. And the test will repeat until you have learned the lesson.
"Stop chasing women, chase excellence"
That's why I'm investing in a new computer.
Stop chasing women, start chasing them away.
@@DiegoGonzalez-go2qy that's a good one
That one is easy xD
The reason she's taking hours (sometimes days) to reply to you is she simply doesn't see you as important enough to require the basic courtesy of normal conversation flow, the "Golden Rule" applies here
“Getting her back blown out by Chad”...🤣🤣🎉
its funny because its true
The sad part about this is you usually don’t know until after you’re married.
Have you heard the joke- a man does not know happiness until he is married. And then it's too late.
Too true
I slightly disagree. When you are dating you may be her first choice but once you get married she slides into the second choice mode. No more BJ's for you anymore. She loses interest in pleasing you. Its easy to say well dump her but then you go on the search for the one and only and you find it just does not exist for most men.
That's why you dont get married.
I dont think that's an absolute but yes some women can put up a pretense until they have that financial security locked in (marriage or house or baby) and if they want to pull the plug will walk away better off. I've seen it with some of my friends and I think that's what helps seeing it happen to others so you are more cognizant regarding this aspect and dont just go with the flow or fear you wont find another woman you're attracted to so stick with what you have. If she senses that it will make things worse imo. For a couple of these relationships myself and a few others could sense the lower level of enthusiasm on the woman's side and thought the guys were not doing the right thing (we warned them).
That video literally summed up my entire relationship with my ex wife in a 6:48 video clip. Been divorced for 7 years now but I was flooded with so many shit gut wrenching memories watching that. I was so blue pilled back then. Since I became red pilled and found a younger hotter woman that literally idolizes me and fits into my frame, my ex wife wants me back. Not a fucking chance! Woman ALWAYS want what they can’t have. She’s still single now and the funny thing I was Alpha asf when we married, she changed and withdrew over time, so I got insecure and became beta asf, so she she divorced me. I did the usual binge drinking, reckless partying, as well as crying like a bitch alone at home etc to escape the pain, but then I got my shit together, stopped drinking, got back into the gym, got jacked, worked hard, made bank, found a hot personal trainer who’s wild in bed and now I’m the Alpha that my ex is pining for simply because I moved onto to better things. There’s no pleasing a woman.
Love to hear that mate great work
*cryingg like a bitch*
Finaly someone got on the right track. All men should follow your experience.
Awesome man. Inspiration right here.
They always wanna come back. Awesome!!
Pursue excellence and let the women choose you. Chef’s kiss.
Until she finds a better option than you, they never get enough
@@xXCaHeTeLxX Yep. It never ends for women. Hypegamy means they can't be happy because they're always wondering if better is out there.
I've been through this a number of times til it really dawned on me that this is what it's come to be. Now that social media is at it's peak right now. That old saying relatives used to tell me that if you go investigating something, you might not like what you find. So I just keep it moving, I'm focusing on myself & where I see "myself" in 5 to 10 years from now. Them same females that play those games in their prime all end up doing nothing with their lives in the long run. We only have one life to live, life is too short & i'm thankful for the lessons God placed in path.
Basically your better off having a dog.
Dog and a DOLL..
@@skibootdier9488 agree!
Mans best friend 😂😂
If you want loyalty and unconditional love yes.
if you can afford an Escort yes - a doll cheaper well good back up plan xd
Relationships are a joke now !
Relationshit
Very true
Ego is the main problem when it comes to girls
Look what happened to johnny depp? We are all doomed
I agree! Too much BS to put up with only for a person to realize their time is not infinite. People that play games, take forever just to text back, or don’t know perspective and reciprocation are the people that end up feeling miserable
Agreed
I think the burning desire eventually gets less with time, no matter how perfect you are. I think when you are searching for a partner to settle down with, you need to know to if that person is self aware and has his/her moral compass intact.
Finally, someone with a voice of reason!
True but I think what Rich is talking about is in the earlier stages of a relationship; there are women who I think show you that you are their second choice and that's what he's asked telling you is the red flag.
True, well said.
In a marriage where both a continually working on it, and continually making an effort,
The burning desire doesn't fade.
Those that don't make an effort, and allow other things to become more important
Experience the fade in the burning desire.
Simon says that ain't true
When I was young I needed to escape my family life which was chaotic, at the same time I met a girl who was hostile as feck from the get-go, I accepted this and we married, holy shit, what a mistake I made, she was crazy constantly, never happy, I bent over backwards to make her life as good as possible but it was never enough, she always had affairs and worse than that, she bad mouthed me to anybody that would listen, marriage now over and only last week I ran into her after a couple of years of not seeing her, my good god, she has changed so much and not for the better, huge weight gain, tranquilizers, unkempt look and a rather odd haircut, DON'T make the mistake I did guys, if it ain't going well at the dating stage, never take it any farther, move on, so many more females who could enrich your life and not attack it.
You never are her first choice, in time she always wants something better, even if that ideal doesn't exist.
@Adrian Fuentes in my experience the 21 year old model is more reasonable.
I hate to say it but I think that's the case in most relationships. Comedian Chris Rock said it best "women are only as loyal as their options."
Just stay single and keep your money and sanity.
Bravo. The modern women has a male genitalia .
Had a girl from work ask for my phone number and where I lived. Took me by surprise because she's a number of years younger than me. She is very cute so I obliged her. She started texting me every day with little good mornings and just random things she was doing and coming by my house every day bringing me food she made. After 2 weeks of this, I was interested. The third week, I would text her "good mornings" and "how're things?" etc. Nothing back for hours, days, weeks. I see her at work and she talks to me, but very short chats. I'm wondering what the hell I did. Turns out the guy she's living with, who she never mentioned, was out of town for those 2 weeks and had returned so that's why I got ghosted suddenly. I deleted her # and haven't spoken to her in the same way at work. Just a hello and that's it. I don't regret anything I've ever done but this pissed me off more than it should've. I hate deceit and liars and she's really put me off to other women.
There is a girl exactly like this in my work, she brings me food and always try to get my attention, i invited her out for a drink, she agreed, when we got to the bar the first thing she started to talk was about her ex boyfriend,she didn't give me any IOI tried to change the topic but always came back to the ex, anyways, at least she offered to pay the account.
Did you smash at least
@@Krelian89 sounds like she was interested but still caught up on the last guy
@@Krelian89 ghost 👻 her
She wanted you to clap
if she passed 25, she probably already hanged out with top alpha males, if she passed 30, forget about it!
The "strong, genuine, burning desire" goes away once married to them.
@signoaspireFemale nature, that biology has been hardwired into woman because as woman they are of the same collective unconscious, since the dawn of time and that is why they will never be able to change who they truly are that's just facts man. So it's meaningless trying anymore with these "proper garden tools".
@@nightshadeblood3184 replicant fish viewer?
@SecretAdmirer2441I'm gonna disagree with y on that if fact, you can't change someones nature. It's just not possible only they can change themselves you can't help, only they can help themselves that applies to everyone.
You saying proves how small and close minded you really are.
@@mr.puddles5246 Yes, but I have also come to this conclusion after experience after experience.
Absolutely...and that goes for men too. The longer you are with a person the more you get sick of them. That's why you dont marry. Its inevitable. You cant find millions of years of biology.
In your head, after a female says anything, add “with you” or “right now” to it.
I also add "unless" or "until" or "as long as."
The "with you" add on was not only elegant, but very true. Just found your channel and I love it. Many thanks 👍
Adding that "with you" at the end is so true.
I had a lady do this to me a few years back. The avoidance, bitchiness, seldom sex. I asked her if she was desiring another man and she said no. I found out she was lying and i deleted and blocked her. She was furious calling me names, ect ect! I also found out that she was bipolar and nuts. IM so glad i ended it....
lol sometimes u dont have to block , just delete n stay silent on her
@@bernardlartims9114 She was nuts. She sent her felon son to "kick my ass" and he was like 120 lbs no muscle tone at all and I'm almost 6 foot 240 lbs. He didn't do a damn thing.
Most girls are bipolar or crazy af bro
Dodged a bullet right there my friend. Good for you!
Don't date a single mother to begin with
The crux basically was
'Stop chasing women, and start chasing excellence."
The reality is that there is Always someone on the side! The only way to Win, is not play the Game!
she's not yours it's just your turn! If she's not a virgin anymore than you are not her first choice she had many men before you
I've dated a few women who treated me like their first choice (they literally have sparkley eyes when they look at you).
However my ex most certainly did not treat me like her first choice, especially by the end of the first 6 months or so.
Given what her male friends and ex boyfriend looked like, I definitely know that I was not her 'type'. I was the exception.
Sparkle in the eyes and always smiling, that’s when a woman has spent quality time with a guy who she feels is her one. And they will often feel that way about that guy for life, no matter how many other guys they are intimate with.
Wow, Both of these comments here are Amazing. Very Wise. Christ Bless 🙏💯
@@Rog76... When women stare at your eyes deeply then they have a burning sexual desire for you.
@@Rog76... When women stare at your eyes deeply then they have a burning sexual desire for you.
Why did you marry her?
6:11 "Choose women that choose you".
Good advice and I've been following that advice most of life, and every time I do, I have never regretted it.
I am in my sixties now.
Even if you are her first choice and vet her religiously, her feelings can change. You can consume all the Red pilled content you want, read Rollo's books, run perfect relationship game, whatever you want and it can still all blow up and you can still be paying alimony and lose your children because she changed her mind, got bored what have you...
This is just not a risk worth taking or a game worth playing. You have to run perfect game to keep the attention of a woman who is becoming LESS attractive by the year. Even being her first choice isn't enough. We have enough of a sample size of failed marriages and divorces now to know that women today are incapable of forming a life long pairbond. The society encourages anti-social behavior that ultimately erodes families and societies. We fucked up big time.
It needed to be said!!!!
Agree 100%
The women getting their backs blown is one of the root cause.
Blame it on the feminist propaganda
This is beyond reality unfortunately.
Thanks Rich for the videos, you're really helping men, especially with topics like this.
Great advise, this makes 100% sense. Keep up the good videos, Thank you.
I've been the "settle" a few times in my life but a couple of those times I managed to turn it around and become her prime choice. Mind you, this was after I got rid of them. Women do not like to feel rejected, especially by a man she didn't really want.
this
Well said! Remember Guys You are the prize NOT woman. Greetings
Wish I knew this a few years ago
@Under the Surface Trust me man better to be prize for woman then woman prize for you as it always ends up bad for example, loosing attraction for you.
@@danielnicpon1374 may you simplfy your meaning cuz my english it’s not good enough, how i’m more prize than her ?
@@Unknown-wl7vl You have to create high value life for yourself enough that she wants to enter and follow your lead as a man to be in your life in your frame 🙂 that's why you must be prize! But to be prize you must become the prize! Peace 🙂
How are you the prize??? Lmao what are you bringing to the table??
Sir, I really wish someone would address the cycle of narcissistic abuse in relationships. Just dumped by LTR after definitely identifying this with her. The cycle begins with overvaluation ... nothing you do is wrong, everything you say or do is perfect, and usually this phase peaks with love bombing. I would literally hear "I love you" every 10 to 15 minutes when she was awake. This phase ends usually when you do something she didn't like, or she is just exhausted from trying to keep up the love bombing, and the devaluation phase begins. This phase is characterized by telling you how you are a disappointment in many ways. You just aren't all that, and she evidently made a mistake thinking you are. She will usually end this phase with pulling away and beginning the discard phase. Basically, you are now a use tampon that needs to be thrown out. It can be quite devastating to a man to go from being perfect and having loads of attention thrown at him to nothing but crickets in the space of maybe 3 to 6 months the first time it happens. If you know what is going on and let her walk, she will eventually come back in what is known as hoovering ... just like a vacuum cleaner, trying to suck up some supply from you once again, only this time the cycle plays out faster. The love bombing with start almost immediately, and the whole cycle will usually only take 2 or 3 months the second time around. The main characteristics she will display are entitlement and a total lack of empathy.
Well said, learning about narcissism is very very essential, cuz you could EASILY mistake over validation for a genuine burning desire
Wow True ^
@Endless Nameless Holy Shit, Thanks for sharing Brother
This being said is just a one of the main bullet points. Guys need to be aware as this is happening more and more. Definitely for emotional matters just trust your gut and you won't make bad decision.
So well stated, & if this information is listened to intently & advice followed through without variance, it will certainly help make young men the best they can be & have much better lives.
Read Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male, dudes!
Richard is promoting his upcoming book in this video. Be fair and give him a chance too before promoting the - also great - Rollo
That guy is a fraud and beta male in real life. I wouldn't take him seriously
Unless you're super super high value, Calvin Klein looking model a billionaire, with incredible Game, you're always gonna Be her second ir maybe third choice.
Even then. Look at the Alpha celebs that get simped.
Look at Tom Brady, Johnny Depp, Dr Dre, all got their manhood taken
@@essentialoilsme Will Smith, the list is long.
Exactly. Guys talk about this shit like it's some game that can be won. Truth is online dating apps have made your competition every guy in your metropolitan area. Can you ever be the best choice out of a million plus men? It's fucking impossible and a complete fool's errand waste of time to try and play that game. Even more so if you're not incredibly good looking and tall from the start.
@@MrHav1k Facts! Plus, I've got too many other important things to do to waste my time trying
Looks like I came at the right time, thank you I’ll look forward to audiobook
Wow that was excellent and a bullseye totally makes sense. Thank you
Being 17 and finding ur channel is the best thing that’s happened to me tbh
The most efficient way to sort through women is to tell them the truth. That's it. The majority of women will give you a negative emotional outburst, but the ones who really want you will keep talking to you, keep showing up, still sex you up, etc. If dealing with the truth (well, your version of the truth) is too much for her, she isn't going to be able to make it in an LTR anyways.
This is true. Sunlight is wonderful disinfectant. Also known as -The truth will set you free. It might also piss you off. You should be polite, honest, & direct. Kindness does not mean weakness. You can always agree to disagree. If she crosses a line, then walk.
tell her what truth?
@@10babiscar Most women want men to tell them whatever will make them feel good in the moment, not the truth. Don't do that. She's setting you up to be responsible for her feelings, which is not healthy. Instead, you tell her what you really think; the chick that can handle that has a waaay better chance of being a good one.
@@ldl1477 True
Thanks 💯
Thank you, Rich, for all the work you do.
This is a great video because it is a theme I have never seen on a video before ANYWHERE - hence rare valuable info
I just turned 21 , currently studying psychology , I was looking for good advice about life in general stumbled one day upon your videos , about the 3 types of women men should avoid & I used to be in a rush to be in a relationship , than i just stopped making that my main focus and started focusing on my life and What I got to do to be happy
Woman; You're now a great catch. I must destroy all your dreams and aspirations
Psychology? Didn't u read Aaron clarey book worthless?? Stop ruining urself financially
Stopped reading at psychology. You’re wasting your time.
@Adrian Fuentes They do shit tests subconsciously it's just in their nature. They have to check if you are really that strong masculine man for high quality offspring. So don't get into a relationship in the first place
psychology opened the gateway for me.
I think one of the obstacles that almost always comes up in LTR and Marriages, is the fact that the gf or wife will start comparing her bf or husbands reality, of who he really is - including all imperfections, warts, flaws of character, with another mans fantasy. This is why they cheat, thinking the grass is greener. I dont care how alpha the bf or husband is and how well he keeps his frame, he cannot win this comparison, because it is not grounded in reality but fantasy that exists only in her head. As such, her LTR BF or Husband, will always feel like a second choice
Very true! I feel they want to satisfy their emotional needs, even when the guy tries to, they ignore that effort and only think about the consequences after they satisfied that need, and still avoid accepting any responsibility or accountability for it.
That is true
That is women watch soap.operas and romance..
Also, men have this fantasy as well when watching porn and stuff..
@Path Finder I am not saying we do it intentionally or outwordly.. It is just a fantasy in our heads..
Just as much ad men compare women`s bodies..
Are you telling me you don`t compare women`s bodies?
@Path Finder I`ve actually heard men compare women in conversations outwordly
Rich Thank you! Your content motivates me as hell and also bring a lot of positive energy! Thanks
I'm down here in Puerto Rico. Covid travel restrictions crushed tourism. I just returned to island yesterday. I'm not good looking, not wealthy (I do own a house on the ocean). I've been on and off the island since April 18'. My town is tourist area. All the girl bartenders ignored me since I've been here. Well that has changed, post covid reality has set in. I now walk in and out of completely empty bars and the bartenders throw themselves at me like asian carp. Having my first lunch date with a puerto rican girl today actually, bartender- imagine that!
Thank you brother, "Asian carp" literally made me laugh out loud 😂😂!! And I needed that
I've never experienced this, but my heart breaks for every man who has been in that situation.
We are so so grateful for everything you do for us. Thank You !! 🙏 Can't wait to read your book.
Great advice. Wish I knew this stuff when I was a kid. Pay attention guys. Coop is spot on. I've lived it I vouch for this assessment!
Soooo freaking true! Some of the best advice a man can receive as it pertain to dealing with women. Salute!
Once I got myself together and women I date started treating me good you can just tell the difference, you can feel it, it’s like night and day and you won’t have to wonder
Yep. Definitely Correct. My mom always told me never settle. Never fully figured it out until recently when I realized she settle for my dad; she didn't respect him. My dad was great but if they feel they settled they'll make your life a living hell on earth
That was great advice. Thank you for making this video.
I can't tell you how much of a good service you do for men even for guys like me who's a couple of years older than you are. Everything you said is spot on the money and it fills in the blanks where I just thought it was me. Keep preaching it, my friend!
This one was a particularly bitter red pill
True, Brother, but I've yet to taste a medicine that helped me that was delicious. No sarcasm. I remember when I took the pill. Whole lotta holy shit THAT'S WHY THAT'S LIKE THAT?
But a helpfull one. If a woman stops giving you sex, you know it is time to kick her to the curbs because then you know you are not her number 1 anymore.
You get used to it, been knowing this stuff for 5 years
Indifference is a form of contempt.
amen
I think there’s an important point to add: all the signals you described when a women is settling for a ‘lesser man’ can also be applied to a man who once was a Chad, but slowly because of boredom in the relationship or in life becomes a slouch. When dating he acted like a high value man, but maybe because of age and lessened energy he becomes more passive and doesn’t invest as much in himself anymore. I definitely know guys who fall into this category. You know, the type of guys who stop going to the gym and hanging out with their mates when they get into a relationship.
THat happened to me when I dated down. I cheated left and right, but keeping her as the fixed one, just to use her as a sperm bucket when I felt like it.
But the effect of that was it destroyed my motivation, became a slouch. After ending it, I felt relieved, became active again, happy again.
I guess same happens to chicks. The lesson is better alone than with an unsatisfying one
Even if you were her 1st choice she has a 2nd choice as a backup just incase the 1st doesn't work out or could use as a side order.
Damn I wish I had your lessons 13 years ago.
You would not understand these at that age even if you heard
@G. S. well played.
Me too I still feel the pain. Young guys in their 20's don't realize how much better life advice they can get in their generation than us.
Love your content man! Thank you for the advice you give. You keep it simple, black and white. I appreciate it haha! Great topic to discuss about!
Brother, I am so glad I found your channel.
"Choose women that choose you". I couldn't agree more! A word to the wise is wasted on dumbbells.
Thanks Rich. Never had a father to teach me these things. At 23 it's a bit later than I would've liked to have picked up this info, as I've already made some mistakes. But nothing permanent thank god. Appreciate you mate.
Great content Rich. I wish I knew this in my 20s. Few LTR, couple marriages, couple fids. Now, in my early 30s. Working on myself right now and my bank account. Primary job and side hustle business. Fitness, good diet and hobbies hiking and traveling. Thanks for your work man. Looking forward to see your book!
Always add, "with you!" :D
This was good.
Uncle once said “I like girls who like me” I always took that as if I’m not her first choice then she don’t like me therefore not worth it
Woman wants:
- looks
- money
- sense of humor
- loyalty
*Men offer:*
Pick 2.
With money there’s no need to be funny and With looks It doesn’t matter if I’m loyal or not.....she’ll always want me.
So money and looks.
yeah lol, loyalty is a non-issue if you got looks, even more of a non-issue if you got money.
I got 3 of 4!
@@jasonpauldegraaf so youre funny, loyal and have money? good for you.
@@VeryProfessionalGamer Sadly, no sense of humor. Half-decent looking though! ;-)
She might also lose the desire after time, then may get the desire back. Or girl might get the desire after knowing you for some time. It's not static, either you're her favorite number 1 or you're not, it's constantly changing. But in general I agree with Richard, you should strive to chose women who chose you, who see you as their first choice, at least most of the time.
The attraction chart has 4 dimensions: looks, money, status, time.
Absolutely. Women are emotional beings.
No, they don't get the desire back. I have had a few married women ask me with their husbands permission to fuck them on the theory that it would reset their attraction to their husband. Turned them down because it was creepy.
Excellent video!!
Great points, good video 👍
Great advice. Ive been dating my girl for a year now, made plenty of mistakes, and even with the worst of them she forgave me within a day. Be the first choice men.
A friend years ago gave me powerful advice. It's an attitude and perspective. Simply be ready willing and able to say, "Next." when a major red flag goes up. When you can roll with that.....kinda like car or house shopping, gotta be willing to walk or look out
its hurts to know how much I needed to hear this