I have 4b/4c and these people at work think they are so brilliant suggesting I get braids or locks. Like I’ve never thought of it. Nah I’m choosing to look like this.
I said this also! Ppl are purposely rough on 4c hair because they assume it’s bad and have this attitude that they don’t have the patience to deal with it so they yank and pull on the hair out of frustration and it’s anti blk coming from our own bw.
Exactly! To practically yank someone's hair out of their scalp from the root, then call them "tenderheaded" when they cry out in pain, is beyond brutal,cruel and sadistic!!
I think a lot of our black mothers took out a lot of their stress ,and self-hate on our scalps. I used to dread getting my hair braided. I was extremely tender-headed, and my mom would use so much aggression when doing my hair. If I cried and moved too much, she would hit me in the head with the brush. I think many black girls learn to hate their hair during this grueling process.
My mother is white and she definitely took out her aggression on my hair... I have very thick hair.. So I feel like people with little to no knowledge tend to do that🙄😭
Gosh that’s so cruel, I’m sorry. That’s not okay. I see the same behavior during childbirth and it leads to higher death rates. It really is nothing more than normalized cruelty.
yup i remember my mother doing this to me. i genuinely used to believe she would do my hair to punish me sometimes when she was upset not even with me but in general. thank goodness she has unlearned many of these things and realizes the harm, and while i am grateful that she is better w my younger sisters.. trust me when i say there is far much more to her journey of learning and understanding these things. at least she is listening and open to the conversations. i am so sorry we had to go thru this. so sorry our mothers and grandmothers were so desensitized to their own suffering and pain. sending much love to you
They don't realize how TRAUMATIC this is for young black kids. The brutalization of 4c hair on young black children is literally trauma. And ay, sensitivity is POWERFUL
It's disgusting because black women are literally dying because people don't believe our pain is real. They have done studies on this. Black women are not believed when they are in pain or they think we are strong enough to handle it. I know this is about hair but is it too hard to make a connection to how this affects adults?
@@EyesFoward I know a Black Gabriela and a Black Gabrielle. Same color as Mayowa. Gabby/Gabourey/Gabrielle/Gabriela/Gabriella is not an automatic white name. If this was an attempt to troll it sucked.
Why would I pretend to be black? I changed my profile picture to a picture of me. Now you can't tell me that I am not black. And even if I wasn't black my point still stands.
As black people, black girls, we aren’t allowed to be tender headed. We are made fun of. I’ve never been “tender headed”, i we always sucked it up and accepted pain when it came to my head and that says a lot. One time when I was 4-6, my cousin braided my hair so tight that it was oozing puss. I was a child!!! And do you think I complained or screamed while she was braiding my hair? Absolutely not. I did that cos I was afraid of either being ridiculed for being tender headed and I wanted to please them and be the “good child” who didn’t scream. Or I did it out of fear for what might happen if I did squirm. I’d rather not get popped too!
Yes i experience that in Africa your mom or the braiders will even twist your head under their thighs so they can braide it😢 and till today I'm yet to meet/ see a hair braider who like 4c or love to braid 4c type hair they all be complaining about it even tho they have same hair😮 crazy, sad sometimes i wish i learned how to braid then I'll open a salon that only braids and care for 4c hair type fr..
Yes i experience that in Africa your mom or the braiders will even twist your head under their thighs so they can braide it😢 and till today I'm yet to meet/ see a hair braider who like 4c or love to braid 4c type hair they all be complaining about it even tho they have same hair😮 crazy, sad sometimes i wish i learned how to braid then I'll open a salon that only braids and care for 4c hair type fr..
stylist and braiders tend to treat 4c hair like something they have to 'beat into submission'. They come at it from the mindset like, "This is gonna be rough/ painful anyway. So I might as well get it done fast." It's like they have a set speed that they want to style/ braid at, and they don't alter it for anyone. Regardless of the fact that it would hurt less (or not at all) if they just took their time on the person according to their scalp sensitivity and hair strength.
I agree, they can do bigger plaits. Those parents still want the teeny tiny braids because they want the style to last longer and they want their children's kinky hair to be "DONE" at all times or else they think it looks "bad" like you said. A lot of de-colonization to do, including realizing that two French braids to the back after wash day is an "acceptable" hair style for 4c hair.
All of this!!!! I do my one year old daughter’s hair in simple large twists and finger detangle using a spray bottle of water because I REFUSE to put her through pain or normalize that experience for her!! This is our go to style and when I take it out she wears her hair in a puff or three puffs. We keep it simple so that she can be comfortable and happy. Pain should not be normalized for black girls!!!
I was close to tears when that baby was crying. The fact that people can joke about them while they're visibly in distress is disgusting. I'm grateful that I never experienced anything like this growing up (my mom did not play lol). I've always been tender headed. It was at it's worst when I was little. Even when the stylists braided lightly and got rid of her acrylics, my scalp was still so sensitive even though she was being super gentle. I remember crying one time, but nobody made fun of me. Everyone in the shop comforted me and one of the barbers even gave me money, so I could get some ice cream afterwards. Sending healing energy to the baby
@@nadiasutherland7436 chile I am so late seeing this lol. Definitely agree, but I was dark as a little girl. Grew up in South Florida and was always outside. My experience growing up was as a dark skinned black girl. My parents just were very staunch on people not speaking crazy to their kids( especially with me being the baby lol). I do agree though that if this little child was lighter, I feel like their experience would have been vastly different. I hope they're doing okay
So fuc*ing disturbing! Absolutely unacceptable. My girls have 4C hair and I would never allow anyone to treat my children that way! If I ever witnessed this, I would speak up and/or report that stylist immediately! Thanks for the discussion as always ❤️
You said what needs to be said. Our Black children deserve to be treated with tender loving care. Their hair should be handled with love and attention.
My Nana’s scalp was so tender, you could barely comb her hair. I think it is awful to treat anyone like that, let alone a child. The child could also have sensory issues. I have sensory issues and have to be treated in a particular to use clippers on me. It’s so awful to not pay attention to the child. You can ask the child instead of saying they’re lying. Poor child.
I have 4a natural hair and I dealt with both the good and bad. I dealt with my mom and stylists complaining about my hair being too thick. I actually decided to stop going to my last stylist because she kept complaining about my hair being too thick and long and she told me it’s ok for black hair stylists to refuse to do black hair because white peoples hair is “ easier “. She would take hours to wash, blow dry, and flat iron my hair and complain that it’s my fault that it took her so long. I also have gotten comments that I have “ good hair “ and people would compliment my hair for being long. Healthy hair is beautiful no matter what texture and it’s time we stop reinforcing the stereotype that 4c hair is bad. We have to teach little black girls that their hair is beautiful and we have to be gentle when doing a child’s hair.
The most harsh criticism I ever received about my afrotextured hair is from mono racial black women and men. When I walked in the room these people would give me dirty looks ( my skin color and features are very similar to the actress Gugu Mbatharaw) they even said I look like a field slave. Based on my observation ( I work in the food service industry) when I was at work (with type 4 afro textured hair) carrying heavy boxes and bags most people will be rude, impatient, mean and apathetic towards me even if I dropped a huge bag or box no one would come to my aid to help me. On the other side of the coin when I wore my hair in a soft, wavy hairstyle ( Katherine Houghton from the film guess who's coming to dinner) customers and coworkers were more loving, supportive,patient and helpful towards me.
bro, atp what is the point of yearning for the respect of these demons i wonder. They dont have a real soul! You are loveable and respectable just as you are!!❤️
This makes me sad as someone who grew up getting braids all the time as a kid, teen, and young adult. Like those were real tears coming from her face!!!! After watching a video and learning HELLA LATE that certain braiding styles are not meant for me. For example, I have done box braids, cornrows, crochet, kinky twist, pick, and drop (MY FAVORITE braiding style) and now I can't do those styles anymore. The takedown process causes breakage, and wearing it in an updo or various styles causes tension in MY HEAD. Depending on the hair's density, texture, porosity, volume, and even within the tightly coiled hair (4C+), some braided hairstyles are NOT PROTECTIVE. The braider should have assessed that child's hair and know what style to do, if the mom was the one who thought of the style the braider should consult the mom on why it's not good for the child's hair/head. I am disappointed in the braider and people because why post that and why comment that she's faking it? This reminded me of when parents posted online cutting their children's hair as punishment for the WORLD TO SEE. Lastly, It confirms people's disdain and ignorance for tightly coiled hair. This is a form of anti-Black micro-aggression, and what if that child grows up and sees adults invalidating her feelings? Also, sorry about the eye infection and sinus, I am glad you are better, and I noticed I was like no unique eye shadow this time.
I've had head sores from perms. Burn marks on my forehead and ears from hot combs. Hair ripped out of my head because "I wouldn't sit still." The absolute trauma of having to get my hair to look "right." I'm a sensitive ASS bitch and I'm so glad that I am. Every single woman in my family who wasn't tenderheaded and who put up with the tight tight styles and aggressive manipulation, all of them have No edges, NONE whatsoever! Their hairline starts at their ears and they mostly wear wigs. They didn't know any better unfortunately and now they are paying for it. I'm team locs until the very end.
Here in Nigeria, most parents doesn't care about the pains children went through when plaiting their hair, they do believed children were just putting up an act when crying. I remembered my dad always want us to have low hair cut, he used to tell my mum that if we are fully grown, we will decide what is suitable for our health but while we were still young, she should make us feel comfortable cos children can't endure pains like an adult.
70's kid & So, true. My father & mother reinforced that We (African descent) don't have the luxury to be Weak, Soft, because the World Won't be. It showed in how they treated us, very harsh and void of compassion. I'm so glad your Speaking Up & Sharing this to the Community, for a Healthier Life, over all.
Im tenderheaded, and have been my entire life. Ive been told to stop crying, stop fussing and suck it up. I have locs now, and even when I put my hair up in a style, it comes down in hours . Thank you for this video. No one believes our pain.
i really wasn't expecting to relate to this so much, because i don't have 4c hair and am not Black. however, i have autism and it was undiagnosed until i was 30. this meant i was genuinely in pain throughout a lot of my childhood and this was simply not understood. i have very serious light and sound sensitivities that i was scolded for, as though i was just acting out. bottom line: if someone is visibly in pain, LISTEN. especially children. even if you can't understand why they are in pain, even if it's something that wouldn't bother you personally... listen to pain. NOBODY should be mocked for being in pain. ever. nobody.
This shit makes me so mad. Im white and have relatively straight hair, but i have an extremely sensitive scalp where just someone ruffling my hair can really bother me. I spent so much of my childhood crying while my hair was getting brushed because it hurt! An unfortunate amount of people take the "grin and bear it" approach to sensory issues and its so much worse for POC, especially black people. I hope more people take your message in mind.
I remember being hit in the head with the brush for moving and my hair is loose and curly. My mom didn’t have time to waste playing games so if we winced or moved there was punishment. I’m going to do differently with my daughter. If she is wincing too much we will pick a more simple style ❤️
Ever since I started looking at hair content on social media I always thought those videos were weird. And it's funny to ppl? Like is being tender headed really a thing or are yall just rough with these little kids lol? It reminds me of conversations I've had with family about corporal punishment. My parents never hit us, and ppl are shocked by that. Like why is it when you hit an adult it's a assault, but when you hit a child it's discipline?
Fr. People hate children, honestly. People are way too excited to hurt kids/ take out emotions on people who can't fight back. Like the people who want to let teachers use corporal punishment on their kids. Why???
This was so hard to listen to, those poor kids. How anyone could continue doing what they're doing when its causing so much pain is beyond me. She seems to revel in it even, just sadistic
Wow so many revelations. I realized that this is physical trauma to our hair that is experienced at a very young age! That little girl was me! Also, it’s so ironic that I’ve met many adults who refuse to do certain styles bc their scalp is “too tender.” But never that same compassion or consideration for little black girls.
My mom hated washing my hair, combing my hair, brushing my hair and braiding my hair,she fussed about my hair to everyone, my dad ,sister ,even her grandchild ,which is my niece ,it made me feel ugly and to this day I wear wigs you will not catch me without one😞
This is so sad. Ppl don't realize (parents especially) that their words and behavior towards children can inflict lasting emotional and psychological harm. I hope in time you are able to heal from the hurt inflicted on you by your mom's actions.
I went natural 6 years ago and I'm almost bra strap length, after many setbacks. I haven't done my hair at a hair salon since my last relaxer 6 years ago, one thing I always hated is the way black hair is manhandled, mainly by people who refuse to improve. Relaxer, braids and so forth are done with so much pain and it's become acceptable to the point that we turn a blind eye to black children's pain, also reminds me of how black parents beat their children so badly 😢 I can't bear it but our community thinks it's okay, most of the pain is not necessary. On the point you made about our hairstyles not reflecting the difference in our hair types, I cannot agree more - I've always wondered why our own salons can't do our hair correctly our own hair, why is it that during the entire natural hair movement services like detangling, deep conditioning and other things we do for natural hair don't seem to have made it as services in salons unless they're salons dedicated to natural hair?? It's an unchanging industry and it truly makes me sad.
Hi, Mayowa! I saw you in an ad in New York City in the subway recently! You were leaning against a bookshelf while reading a book. It must have been a while back because your locs were shorter. I was like "hey, that's Mayowa!" lol
Girrrrl! Makeup is EXPENSIVE!! So I felt your pain when you had to get rid of it. I’m so happy you’re feeling some relief, Mayowa. You have to always trust your body. Thanks for this video ❤️❤️❤️
I am lucky because my mom was always so careful with my hair, so I never had a bad experience. I actually found it relaxing, every Sunday, I would watch TV or fall asleep while my mom did my hair. If I flinched because of a tug, she'd always apologize and be more careful. Probably why I never hated my hair. My mom always taught me to love my hair and it made a difference. 🥰 Seeing that video is really disturbing to me. I just don't understand. People are hateful sometimes. That's why, outside of my mom and a few family members, I've never trusted anyone with my hair.
There’s another viral video of a little girl struggling with a “tender head” and most of the comments don’t consider the child’s obvious pain and discomfort. Other stylists even suggested mom drop her off and she will “act better”. The truth is the styles are too much and most likely the parents didn’t take their time to get the child used to having their hair manipulated.
I was that tender headed 4c hair child growing up. I HATED getting my hair done. I remember feeling like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t endure getting box braids or I felt my mom was combing my hair too hard. My mom permed my hair when I was probably in 4th grade. I went natural in 8th grade and I had a couple people do my hair before I just decided to style my own hair myself. I made an effort to treat my hair gently. I would mostly finger detangle and wear my hair in two strand twists. Now I am almost 24. I have had locs for 4 years now and I’ve only had one person do my hair. it was my first good hair experience with someone else. I still prefer to maintain my own hair but I would not hesitate to return to her chair, because she was so gentle and positive. I couldn’t even feel her retwisting my locs. It’s sucked that I had to wait until I was an adult to not have someone treat my hair like it was a burden and unmanageable
I agree with you on doing a more simple style. Another thing that I want to point out is that many younger girls have styles that are not age appropriate. When I was 12 and younger, my mom would give me the 4 ponytails or less or larger plaits. I have seen several TH-camrs putting weave and intricate braids, and I am not sure that's appropriate for our young girls. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned traction alopecia. I'm a teacher and you would be surprised how many of my high school girls have no edges.
I hated getting my hair done. My mom called me tenderheaded but stayed yanking through my 4c strands. She started straightening my hair in pre-k. I remember seeing baby pics of me with 2 full puffs but that stopped when I had to look "presentable" for school. That burning feeling on your scalp from a relaxer, getting water sprayed into your eyes with your neck bent over the sink or tub, that burn from a flat iron or hot comb, the uncomfortable hair curlers I had to sleep in because straight hair was "too grown", sitting between the knees of a mother who's only goal was to get the hair to lay flat. That's pain. When I tell you I was kicking and crying and all she did was grip tighter to stop me from moving🤧I couldn't wait for wash day to be over. 🤔 Now that I think about it I don't remember anyone intervening, just telling me to hush.
You are so right about not being believed with pain. I really hate that! Where is the softness and grace! Nobody should tell someone what they feel. 😤 Smh, it's sickening and ridiculous. I love your videos. You are awesome 💜
This is so crazy to see the parallels between black and brown ppl when talking about pain endurance ! I'm not black but I have a biracial family member and as kids she would cry so much when getting her hair done. Our older family members shrugged the same exact way, cuz they remember how much it hurt them so the tradition has to keep going. Another example I can think of in my brown community is drinking alcohol. Like all my family members know its bad , my aunt died of it, multiple cousins with alcoholism YET they will still let the younger kids have their first beer at 10! it's a fun family tradition and somehow we take pride in it..wtf. The pain just continues
I wasn't really that tender headed growing up, but my mama was so heavy handed everytime she braided my hair it was times that my eyebrows lifted up when she braided my hair in a tight braid up ponytail, and also my mama said when she was a kid whenever she got her hair comb/braided by her grandmother, if she moved a lot due to her tender headedness that her grandma would pop her with the comb, luckily my mama never did that to me though
I have a 11 almost 12 year old daughter with thick long 4c hair with super shrinkage...she is tender headed but I NEVER complain I create my own detangler, always allow enough time for the style and I give her breaks and check with her throughout the process and I never tell her beauty is pain...nothing good should hurt.
i let my mom do my hair and i was screaming in pain and im a teen but she was like oh you just want attention you just want to make this take longer stop being so sensitive and it just hurt and to all the people who see this it affects your hair and it affects how you see yourself and how you see pain ! you dont need to have pain in ur life boo
It's bad enuf that so many of us went through this as children, but to see it being broadcast now all over social media for others' entertainment and ridicule is next level.
in Melinated communities it's this "unspoken rule" or stigma rather, that it's frowned upon to express discomfort, address pain and/or simply communicate our wants & needs as well as dislikes & what hurts. Personally I our community, l feel like the right to speak up to in turn be heard, respected & embraced for our vulnerabilities n sensitivities is something that was generationally taught to be numbed since slavery. Upholding these unspoken cruelty Can Not be how we expect to heal thru this, let alone grow past the 17oo's. This is directed towards emotional pain, physical pain, even spiritual pain and issa damn shame to see such generational suffrage make it to this day. In other words, please let this child wear an afro proud and freely.
I am glad you’re back, Mayowa! As for the children, especially Black girls dealing with pain… I do not like it, especially when it’s posted online. Also, I noticed how 4C hair is mistreated, especially braided.
My eyes are wet before watching. This hair pain cuts me so deeply. Of all the unnecessary scars to create and inflict on our girls this one last. I need to move to a place where this is not a thing.
I agree with everything you said! I went through a lot of pain as a child getting my hair done by my grandmother. She had what most people would consider "good hair". My brother and I were born with typical black folks hair. Our grandmother put our hair down, and handled mine VERY roughly. My scalp would bleed and at one point a big chunk of my hair was falling out. In the fifth grade the school nurse questioned me when she saw my hair loss and red scalp. I lied because aI knew if I told the truth, I'd suffer severe consequences. Now as an adult, I'm trying to learn to love my hair
"Tender headedness" is real because it is experienced by people of all afro textured hairtypes, not just 4c. My mom has 4c and my daughter has 3a and they are both tender headed. My other sister has 4c hair and she is not. But there is also be something to what you said about people being rough or unnecessarily heavy handed with 4c naturals because they want to beat it into submission. Some care takers almost act offended that 4c hair even exists and they consider themselves almost unlucky in a way to "have to be the one" to manage it. This is a very sad, very outdated form of internalized hatred of our own genetics. The only way to change that is to talk about it. Thanks for making this video.
Thanks for speaking up for tender headed. As a child, I was adopted at 2. The very first time I was braided was the time I was adopted, and my mother always told me I rejected brushes, someone even touching my hair. Some people were telling I was "doing too much", but as a grown adult, I know that it wasn't even the suffering, but also the trauma response. Sometimes, the answer isn't in the scalp, but on the scalp. Thanks for your videos, and speaking up for us. Love from France.
You are right stylish seem to be rougher on women with 4C hair when styling. The roughest as to do with what she mentioned in the video and also with black women’s obsession with their hair being “laid, sleek, with prefect polished parts (because we are obsessed with neat parts). Also as a mother of a daughter that doesn’t have 4C hair but is still very tender headed, It’s extremely frustrating. I’ve never really been around tendered headed women or children I heard about them. Maybe by the time I came around they were use to me but my family, friends etc nothing… and then I have a daughter who ouches when I’m standing behind her doing nothing. So, for the most part I just let her be. But, what I’ve noticed is no one comments on her hair not being done or not looking presentable. I know that has a lot to do with the texture of her hair and the way she looks because even though I don’t have 4C either but it’s still kinky I was never allowed outside as a child “looking a mess” that’s what they called it and looking a mess for them was a non sleek fizzy ponytail what my daughter wear almost everyday. I’m perfectly fine with that.
I literally would burn up getting relaxers and all they would say is " you wanna love pretty don't you"? My Granny use to be furious because I wouldn't scratch my hair and it still didn't matter . She would protest about perming my hair yet that was the assimilation ,to not do my hair unrelaxed. I stopped relaxing )in 2008 . When my cousin stop french braiding my hair , no one wanted to deal with it Not Relaxed.
That video with the little girl crying should be reported. That's child abuse! It makes me so mad to see that level of inhumanity done to a child. Back when I was a kid they didn't know how to make hair softer so that braiding was less painful. But now with all the conditioner and butters and detangling brushes and youtube videos, there's no need to torture black children like that. That stylist is a wicked woman and she needs to be reported.
I had no idea such videos were being posted online - and seeing the video clip brought tears to my eyes. The rough handling is so wrong on so many levels. I have sisterlocks but when I help out with other people's hair (including when I used to do my own hair as a loose natural), especially children, I take my time and am gentle and believe that less manipulation is better - and kinder. You've made many excellent points.
I think this is such an interesting topic as a black mother with a toddler who also has locs now and also a hair stylist. This definitely comes down to compassion and understanding. I am a braider and there are many times where these children come to me and are traumatized by how tightly their hair has been pulled into braids previously. most stylist do not have the understanding that tightness does not create neatness in braiding. the pressure to provide an explore page worthy hairstyle is REAL from all sides and stylists will often sacrifice the integrity of the hair and scalp to achieve the look. as a mother there is so much pressure to grow and maintain my black Childs hair from conception (not even birth). I face pressure everyday to "do something" with my 1 year old sons hair from my own parents. I believe this is the reason many of the chosen styles for these children is sooooo many small braids. They stay "neat" for longer times and allows the parent to be temporarily relieved of this pressure to keep their child upkept to the standard of an adult.
When I was a kid, braids were only for special occasions because they took so long and required a lot of upkeep. My mom didn't know how to braid so my auntie would do it and she would ask me countless times if I was ok. This was in the 90's so these people are just assholes. Outside of 2 braids; I've had my hair braided braided only about 10 times in my life. Because it's A LOT. I'm always baffled by people who claim braids are easy. That has not been my experience at all.
When I was a kid I used to get relaxers and be shaking crying from the pain of the chemicals going into all the cuts on my very dry scalp. I'm mixed with 4A hair, I have an extremely sensitive scalp (family loved to laugh at me and called me tender headed). They would judge me for not having typical "mixed girl hair". Now that I'm an adult I don't have to have a single person touch my hair if I don't want. I've realized that the pain from relaxers and rough hands pulling on my scalp is worse than getting a tattoo, so I'm very careful about who I let near it. The fact that people are so rough with kinky textured children's scalps and actually LAUGH at them is so horrible. You really don't have to be that rough with it in the first place. And they are BABIES more sensitive to pain than adults. I used to hate my hair because it hurt so much. Now that I know how to care for it gently and respectfully I love it.
People treat 4C hair rough BC they don't know how to comb hair... My boyfriend have THICK 4c hair and I do it just fine... U can't do 4c hair without moisture! I also have 4C hair but I loced it 5 years ago
Please most high get us to an understanding that our hair attached to our scalp I sacred and she be handled like a delicate silk fabric. I'm Hella against children having flat braids weaves and balls and borettes. Its painful ! It's slave mentally to thing it has to be styled to be seen as kept. Our hair is supposed to be out free and in its raw form like the most high intended. Healing to our minds hair and Happy healing and new beginnings MayowA!
Thank you for this platform. I had alot of healing from childhood hair trauma. I passed out once while getting a sew in . I said never again and look at God the natural hair movement came and saved me. I will never ever go back 4Crown for all my lifetimes and my descendents. When I plait my hair at night old school grandma way that is still to tight on my sacred scalp. I have to enforce softness and a loser plait not like when grandma would plait tight so I can only imagine this little precious babe. I volunteer at a school so I see the tightness and irritation. Your points are so on point, Thank you!
This video is needed! Loving this conversation. The whole concept of “tender-headed” needs to die. A lot of these girls grow up and literally develop traction alopecia from these hairstyles but then we mock being tender-headed like it’s an over reaction. No you war ripping hairs out of their head. You are damaging their hair follicles of course it hurts! These poor children. We need to educate people because this type of thinking needs to end.
I literally cringed watching that video,, I felt so bad for the little girl because I used to be her. People doing 4C hair while it’s not moisturized meaning the stylist is just being unnecessarily rough. Also using the wrong combs, and products. Mayowa girl keep speaking up && speaking out about the bs they want us to constantly push under the rug!!! I love your content && I hope everything is going well with your health😌
It's disturbing how being the people with our hair texture most of us don't know how to detangle our hair without ripping and pulling at it. My mom always took care to slowly and carefully detagle me and my sibblings hair so that we were not in pain. And she showed us how to do it ourselves. Which I think is one of the reasons she became a hair dresser and always have an abundance of clientele. Especially children clientes. She's also not heavy handed.
Growing up autistic and tenderheaded getting my hair done would always hurt, i would usually cry and other people would assume i was faking. Autistic people who are sensitive are always told to suck it up.
The word “tender-headed” alone gives me flashbacks of my mom yanking at my 3C hair, and smacking my head w the brush when I was being “dramatic” by crying. I’m 🇵🇷🇩🇴, as an adult I choose not go to my local NYC Dominican salons because over the years they’ve given me so much baggage. They’ll talk amongst themselves abt how annoying it is to do my hair, I’ve been up-charged just for taking my hair out of its ponytail, or they’ll pressure me to perm it. Not to come at just Latinos, I even had an African shop lady stop braiding my head abt halfway through, and tell my mother she wouldn’t continue until I was taken to the bathroom to be “straightened out”. I still think abt that w fear in my heart for “embarrassing my mom”… I still buy my black soap and pretty earrings at that shop tho lol. Ik I’m not black, and I don’t mean to share my experience to take away focus, it’s just to express how common and everyday this form of anti-blackness is across the diaspora.
I’m a black woman with relaxed hair who has gone to Dominican salons for years and everything you said is true. If my natural texture grows even ONE inch they will pressure me to perm it. So many times they have talked about my hair in Spanish to each other. I’ve tried going natural 3 times already hopefully I can still stick with this time because I cannot deal with the texturism within the Dominican community anymore.
You’re so right. I followed her because I could relate to the kids since I used to cry when I was a child getting my hair done. It didn’t even cross my mind that they needed the be more sensitive. Growing up you’re always taught to just sit there because it’s something that has to be done anyways. That type of mindset really needs to change 🙁 Even as an adult stylist hate when I tell them I’m tender headed, they cared even less about it when I was a kid 😭
There are also hairdressers, family, and friends who are heavy handed. I have a relative who plaits hair etc and everyone tells her you can hardly feel her hands and yet it is styled and neat.
These stylist know that they can make the braids not be so tight but because these parents want these styles to “last” they braid too tight anyways…if braids are too tight that can lead to traction alopecia and it will literally be the parents fault for forcing their children to wear these too tight braids.
I had to start doing my own hair because the way my mom or my older sisters did it was just not suitable for me. I think it's sooo important to listen to your body, and especially your head, when you're feeling pain or any sort of discomfort. I love how your videos bring awareness to such essential discussions.
I heard from a hair chemist that being tenderheaded is not normal. Your either using way too much mechanical force (tugging, pulling etc) or too many chemicals (relaxers, perms etc) and this is very true. My scalp became very tender with the relaxers but after I stopped using them i no longer suffered
I definitely agree that black people tend to not give the same sensitivity to young black kids especially girls when it comes to getting their hair done. My mom used to make me feel so bad about my hair. I thought I had bad hair. She used to always use kinky and nappy in a negative connotation that to this day I am trying to unlearn that kinky and nappy isn’t bad. And it’s true that people with loser textures can get away w messy hair styles and be called cute. Which is annoying. I’m happy that I love my hair today and I don’t allow anyone in my head that’s not going to be patient and provide gentle care. I don’t even allow myself to treat my hair harshly. I love up on it and take my time.
My mother was super tender headed but no one believed her. As an adult she never relax her hair or cornrow or locs. She grew her hair long. On us she did 2 or 4 or 6 the max loose braids with berets. I do loose twists on my hair and I make them big so they don’t tangle. My hair is long and thick. I do my daughters hair while she’s sleeping in my lap or I put her on the washing machine and do her hair, which she loves. I do 2 or 4 or 6 the max big twists. And I use Satin bows or beads that she picks out. Afterwards, she kisses me and twirls and dances in the mirror.
I came across one of those videos last night and I felt so disturbed in my spirit that I shut it off without finishing. I couldn't articulate what was so upsetting aside from feeling it was not at all entertaining. It was confusing bc I got handled this way as a child being tenderheaded at times but it didn't feel like it felt watching it happen to another.
This comment I'm making has nothing to do with hair but with pain... When I was pregnant with my daughter, I kept going to the L&D emergency toward which was supposed to be the month before I gave birth.... Needless to say, they kept sending me home when I came to them that I am in immense pain.... Well come to find out, the pain I was experiencing was me feeling my actual uterus rupture ... The day I went into labor it was the morning and I felt like I was dyinggggg... 🥺🥺 After I had her I was told by the doc that I could have died both me and baby and was asked "why didn't you go to the L&D emergency at all"? .... 😒😒😒 I told her I did and nobody would help me just tell me I'm "dehydrated" and need rest and to go home. I was bed ridden the whole time I was pregnant 😡😡... Those ppl don't listen to black women when we r in pain, let alone ppl period. They assume that we r lying and just making things up.... My advice to all the women is to speak up and defend yourselves!!! Take legal action if u must.... This too goes for hair and nails and anything that has to do with maintaining ourselves you don't have to be silenced!!!! I wish I would have done something right away .. my baby is now here doing well trying to gain weight as a premature lil cutie and I'm still bed ridden a bit even after birthing her 3 months ago.... God Bless you all and be safe!
i can't help but think about the amount of HOURS taken from girl children's childhoods. so much time is being taken away because they're afab. (also, being taught to silently endure pain should not be part of girlhood/childhood.)
My 6 year old daughter is very tender headed. I'm as gentle as I can be with her hair but she would sometimes scream out in pain. I feel so bad for her- still trying to figure out how to soften her hair
I just saw a video like this from a hairstylist and I recommend the Revair to that stylist. Hopefully she gets it . I love deeper than hair and Jennifer Cynthia both have TH-cam channels that everyone should model Just because someone has 4c hair doesn't mean they can't have tender scalp. Type 4 hair is treated aggressive which causes breakage P.s I completely understand that this video is more deeper than just the physical that my comment is about
You raise such a valid point!! I don’t think you have to be a parent to recognise abuse. I think that this experience that that child went through will have a huge negative effect on her relationship with her parent that took her to that hairdresser, because it shows that her parent is not willing to help her when she’s experiencing extreme pain or discomfort. Poor little girl. ❤
I think the style the child got is usually done particularly tight for the sake of “ neatness”. That is to say anyone in the chair would have flinched and couple that with the fact the child is tender headed it was probably a nightmare. If a child is tender headed I would not suggest this protective hairstyle. Maybe twists would be better
No, no AND no. I never had issues with my mom doing my hair. I sometimes do my little cousins hair and I always try to make it comfortable as possible. It breaks my heart to see and hear them cry of pain.
If I'm not mistaken, I seen another video of this stylist and another child client..Chile, this is close to being tortured and if other ppl can't see that then they got some work to do. Thank you for being awareness to this topic!
As a person who has 4c hair, I still cry at my grown age when someone touches my head and isn't being gentle. I am so tender headed, and I am so not ashamed for being sensitive.
As being a child of 1 of 5 children with 4c hair my mum did not have time to be gentle with my hair. She would truly rip through it with a small comb to try and tame it as quickly as possible. I dont blame her - 4 girls heads to do on a Sunday for the new week of school is a lot! I will say though, I was a very tendered headed child, everyone joked that I would never stop crying, that I was "shakey Stevens" on account of me shaking and breathing heavy before I even got into the chair (probs massive anxiety). Horrible to really look back on it again with different eyes. I didn't stop crying until I was 11. Four years later I got a scalp infection. Funny where being desensitised to your own scalp takes you.
One night when I was six I snuck into the kitchen to get scissors to cut my hair off so I didn’t have to endure the pain of braids 😢 and I used to wish I was a boy so I could just get a fade like my cousins . So sad 😢
When I was a child my aunt would do my hair and I would be in so much pain. One time she braided my hair so tight I had to go to the nursing office at school. I had a bad headache and my scalp developed yellow hard balls on my scalp. I never let her touch my scalp again. The way my family cared for my hair is why at 12 I begged my mom to let me care for my own hair. Even yesterday I went to a stylist for the first time and she was so rough with my hair I had to stop her. My hair never hurts when I’m detangling it but she didn’t know a damn thing about kinky hair as she claimed she did. I’m never going to a stylist again. As much as my hair can be time consuming and sometimes I want a break I’ll never let anyone in my hair again.
The issue I have with wearing my naturl 4c hair is that, when I apply products to my hair, my hair falls out in clumps everytime I touch it. On wash days, half of my hair falls out and ends up in the trash. It keeps falling out, everytime I touch my hair when applying products and also, the products fall in my eyes. The protein treatment from sallys beauty, actually damaged my eyes, and I am half blind, because I wanted to be beautiful with long flowing hair. Ladies protect your eyes, googles etc. when washing and applying products.
I am 90% in agreement with you on this. It all comes down to making it work for the specific person/childs pain tolerance. When i was a child my mother always did my hair. Im moderately tenderheaded and my mom would make sure she wasnt hurting me because SHE is very tenderheaded and knows what its like. I never went to a hair shop until i was like 13 and it was terrible! I was old enough to know not to make a fuss but those ladies dont care about how youre feeling! It was so unexpected how painful it was getting my hair done at a shop! But i came to realize these people werent my mother and would braid tighter. Also they break and tear your hair out to get the job done faster! And ive endured the pain of hair braiding from strangers for like 20 years, wondering why everyone was so rough! I still do my best to grit my teeth til its done but a couple tears still slip out(depending on the stylist). Until recently when i found a woman who asked my about my sensitivity and fully brushed/moisturized my hair gently before braiding to make sure i was confortable the way my mother used to. I legit cries tears of joy and tipped her 100% She is my one and only stylist now. And i never dread getting my hair done anymore csuse im taken care of. Another important factor is what these kids have experienced at home before going to shops. Ive seen 4-7 year old black children getting their hair done with no problems because they know what to expect. Then ive seen mixed children like 10+ in the shop screaming their heads off like that because their white moms neglected their hair their entire lives. I feel like its both the parents responsibility to introduce normal grooming regularly as well as the people in these shops to work compassionately. Especially on children!
This so true the way people handle 4c hair with so much roughness even at the salon the braiders they don't like it when you complain that your hair hurt & they should take it easy, also we should honestly learn to treat ourselves with softness fr the hard hard rough tough we to ourselves is BAD...
People treat 4C hair badly because they are frustrated of it's texture and they already feel negative about the hair.
I can attest to that. 💯
I have 4b/4c and these people at work think they are so brilliant suggesting I get braids or locks. Like I’ve never thought of it. Nah I’m choosing to look like this.
I said this also! Ppl are purposely rough on 4c hair because they assume it’s bad and have this attitude that they don’t have the patience to deal with it so they yank and pull on the hair out of frustration and it’s anti blk coming from our own bw.
@@butterflygirl01 Totally agree. You can also see that the stylist didn't have the patience to deal with the child's hair.
My mom when I was a kid
I’m not tender headed.. I have fully functioning nerve endings on my scalp🤬
Exactly! To practically yank someone's hair out of their scalp from the root, then call them "tenderheaded" when they cry out in pain, is beyond brutal,cruel and sadistic!!
THANK YOU!!!
I think a lot of our black mothers took out a lot of their stress ,and self-hate on our scalps. I used to dread getting my hair braided. I was extremely tender-headed, and my mom would use so much aggression when doing my hair. If I cried and moved too much, she would hit me in the head with the brush. I think many black girls learn to hate their hair during this grueling process.
My mother is white and she definitely took out her aggression on my hair... I have very thick hair.. So I feel like people with little to no knowledge tend to do that🙄😭
Gosh that’s so cruel, I’m sorry. That’s not okay. I see the same behavior during childbirth and it leads to higher death rates.
It really is nothing more than normalized cruelty.
yup i remember my mother doing this to me. i genuinely used to believe she would do my hair to punish me sometimes when she was upset not even with me but in general. thank goodness she has unlearned many of these things and realizes the harm, and while i am grateful that she is better w my younger sisters.. trust me when i say there is far much more to her journey of learning and understanding these things. at least she is listening and open to the conversations. i am so sorry we had to go thru this. so sorry our mothers and grandmothers were so desensitized to their own suffering and pain. sending much love to you
Omg that wooden brush hurts too! If I grabbed my hair she would hit my knuckles with it too. I can definitely relate to this!
my mom grew up in apartheid and would have me in rollers before I was in primary school and relaxed my hair from ages 10-16…
They don't realize how TRAUMATIC this is for young black kids. The brutalization of 4c hair on young black children is literally trauma.
And ay, sensitivity is POWERFUL
If the child is crying YOU are doing it wrong
It's disgusting because black women are literally dying because people don't believe our pain is real. They have done studies on this. Black women are not believed when they are in pain or they think we are strong enough to handle it. I know this is about hair but is it too hard to make a connection to how this affects adults?
Are you a black girl with a name like Gabby?
@@EyesFoward I know a Black Gabriela and a Black Gabrielle. Same color as Mayowa.
Gabby/Gabourey/Gabrielle/Gabriela/Gabriella is not an automatic white name. If this was an attempt to troll it sucked.
@@EyesFoward what does that have to do with anything?
@@EyesFoward what's wrong with my name? Ever heard of Gabby Douglas? Ever heard of Gabi Wilson? What about Gabby Union?
Why would I pretend to be black? I changed my profile picture to a picture of me. Now you can't tell me that I am not black. And even if I wasn't black my point still stands.
As black people, black girls, we aren’t allowed to be tender headed. We are made fun of.
I’ve never been “tender headed”, i we always sucked it up and accepted pain when it came to my head and that says a lot.
One time when I was 4-6, my cousin braided my hair so tight that it was oozing puss. I was a child!!! And do you think I complained or screamed while she was braiding my hair? Absolutely not. I did that cos I was afraid of either being ridiculed for being tender headed and I wanted to please them and be the “good child” who didn’t scream. Or I did it out of fear for what might happen if I did squirm. I’d rather not get popped too!
Pus! Oh my goodness, how sad. 😢The things that are considered normal for young girls to go through. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Im sorry Makeyla! I hope your hair is being treated with gently these days❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
!!!!
Yes i experience that in Africa your mom or the braiders will even twist your head under their thighs so they can braide it😢 and till today I'm yet to meet/ see a hair braider who like 4c or love to braid 4c type hair they all be complaining about it even tho they have same hair😮 crazy, sad sometimes i wish i learned how to braid then I'll open a salon that only braids and care for 4c hair type fr..
Yes i experience that in Africa your mom or the braiders will even twist your head under their thighs so they can braide it😢 and till today I'm yet to meet/ see a hair braider who like 4c or love to braid 4c type hair they all be complaining about it even tho they have same hair😮 crazy, sad sometimes i wish i learned how to braid then I'll open a salon that only braids and care for 4c hair type fr..
The saying beauty is pain has stuck with me since childhood and I am just unlearning that now
Same sis.
deep
Beauty should never compromise your health. 😘
Girl same
stylist and braiders tend to treat 4c hair like something they have to 'beat into submission'. They come at it from the mindset like, "This is gonna be rough/ painful anyway. So I might as well get it done fast."
It's like they have a set speed that they want to style/ braid at, and they don't alter it for anyone. Regardless of the fact that it would hurt less (or not at all) if they just took their time on the person according to their scalp sensitivity and hair strength.
I agree, they can do bigger plaits. Those parents still want the teeny tiny braids because they want the style to last longer and they want their children's kinky hair to be "DONE" at all times or else they think it looks "bad" like you said.
A lot of de-colonization to do, including realizing that two French braids to the back after wash day is an "acceptable" hair style for 4c hair.
All of this!!!! I do my one year old daughter’s hair in simple large twists and finger detangle using a spray bottle of water because I REFUSE to put her through pain or normalize that experience for her!! This is our go to style and when I take it out she wears her hair in a puff or three puffs. We keep it simple so that she can be comfortable and happy. Pain should not be normalized for black girls!!!
I was close to tears when that baby was crying. The fact that people can joke about them while they're visibly in distress is disgusting. I'm grateful that I never experienced anything like this growing up (my mom did not play lol). I've always been tender headed. It was at it's worst when I was little. Even when the stylists braided lightly and got rid of her acrylics, my scalp was still so sensitive even though she was being super gentle. I remember crying one time, but nobody made fun of me. Everyone in the shop comforted me and one of the barbers even gave me money, so I could get some ice cream afterwards. Sending healing energy to the baby
It's the colourism.
88t
@@nadiasutherland7436 chile I am so late seeing this lol. Definitely agree, but I was dark as a little girl. Grew up in South Florida and was always outside. My experience growing up was as a dark skinned black girl. My parents just were very staunch on people not speaking crazy to their kids( especially with me being the baby lol). I do agree though that if this little child was lighter, I feel like their experience would have been vastly different. I hope they're doing okay
@@skyyexplainsitall So you were the baby of the group? That is adorable!
So fuc*ing disturbing! Absolutely unacceptable. My girls have 4C hair and I would never allow anyone to treat my children that way! If I ever witnessed this, I would speak up and/or report that stylist immediately! Thanks for the discussion as always ❤️
No way in HAIL would I permit this.
You said what needs to be said. Our Black children deserve to be treated with tender loving care. Their hair should be handled with love and attention.
My Nana’s scalp was so tender, you could barely comb her hair. I think it is awful to treat anyone like that, let alone a child. The child could also have sensory issues. I have sensory issues and have to be treated in a particular to use clippers on me. It’s so awful to not pay attention to the child. You can ask the child instead of saying they’re lying. Poor child.
I have 4a natural hair and I dealt with both the good and bad. I dealt with my mom and stylists complaining about my hair being too thick. I actually decided to stop going to my last stylist because she kept complaining about my hair being too thick and long and she told me it’s ok for black hair stylists to refuse to do black hair because white peoples hair is “ easier “. She would take hours to wash, blow dry, and flat iron my hair and complain that it’s my fault that it took her so long. I also have gotten comments that I have “ good hair “ and people would compliment my hair for being long. Healthy hair is beautiful no matter what texture and it’s time we stop reinforcing the stereotype that 4c hair is bad. We have to teach little black girls that their hair is beautiful and we have to be gentle when doing a child’s hair.
You are completely right. That video looked like child abuse to me. Poor little girl might be traumatized now.
The most harsh criticism I ever received about my afrotextured hair is from mono racial black women and men. When I walked in the room these people would give me dirty looks ( my skin color and features are very similar to the actress Gugu Mbatharaw) they even said I look like a field slave. Based on my observation ( I work in the food service industry) when I was at work (with type 4 afro textured hair) carrying heavy boxes and bags most people will be rude, impatient, mean and apathetic towards me even if I dropped a huge bag or box no one would come to my aid to help me. On the other side of the coin when I wore my hair in a soft, wavy hairstyle ( Katherine Houghton from the film guess who's coming to dinner) customers and coworkers were more loving, supportive,patient and helpful towards me.
bro, atp what is the point of yearning for the respect of these demons i wonder. They dont have a real soul! You are loveable and respectable just as you are!!❤️
Cruel and fake people
Otis voice "try a little tenderness!" I feel so much compassion for these girl children. where is the gentleness for these babies?!
Absolutely! Where is the gd tenderness?!
This makes me sad as someone who grew up getting braids all the time as a kid, teen, and young adult. Like those were real tears coming from her face!!!! After watching a video and learning HELLA LATE that certain braiding styles are not meant for me. For example, I have done box braids, cornrows, crochet, kinky twist, pick, and drop (MY FAVORITE braiding style) and now I can't do those styles anymore. The takedown process causes breakage, and wearing it in an updo or various styles causes tension in MY HEAD. Depending on the hair's density, texture, porosity, volume, and even within the tightly coiled hair (4C+), some braided hairstyles are NOT PROTECTIVE. The braider should have assessed that child's hair and know what style to do, if the mom was the one who thought of the style the braider should consult the mom on why it's not good for the child's hair/head.
I am disappointed in the braider and people because why post that and why comment that she's faking it? This reminded me of when parents posted online cutting their children's hair as punishment for the WORLD TO SEE. Lastly, It confirms people's disdain and ignorance for tightly coiled hair. This is a form of anti-Black micro-aggression, and what if that child grows up and sees adults invalidating her feelings?
Also, sorry about the eye infection and sinus, I am glad you are better, and I noticed I was like no unique eye shadow this time.
I've had head sores from perms. Burn marks on my forehead and ears from hot combs. Hair ripped out of my head because "I wouldn't sit still." The absolute trauma of having to get my hair to look "right." I'm a sensitive ASS bitch and I'm so glad that I am. Every single woman in my family who wasn't tenderheaded and who put up with the tight tight styles and aggressive manipulation, all of them have No edges, NONE whatsoever! Their hairline starts at their ears and they mostly wear wigs. They didn't know any better unfortunately and now they are paying for it. I'm team locs until the very end.
The hot comb....don't forget the hot comb. I remember many a case of sizzle ear. Trauma.
@@SE-gs6gd You're not a b* :)
Here in Nigeria, most parents doesn't care about the pains children went through when plaiting their hair, they do believed children were just putting up an act when crying. I remembered my dad always want us to have low hair cut, he used to tell my mum that if we are fully grown, we will decide what is suitable for our health but while we were still young, she should make us feel comfortable cos children can't endure pains like an adult.
Good advice from your dad
So true even the naija braiders to no gentleness always rough handling us kids then 😢
70's kid & So, true. My father & mother reinforced that We (African descent) don't have the luxury to be Weak, Soft, because the World Won't be. It showed in how they treated us, very harsh and void of compassion.
I'm so glad your Speaking Up & Sharing this to the Community, for a Healthier Life, over all.
Im tenderheaded, and have been my entire life. Ive been told to stop crying, stop fussing and suck it up. I have locs now, and even when I put my hair up in a style, it comes down in hours . Thank you for this video. No one believes our pain.
Same. My locs are heavy, so I have to put them up very loose and take them down if my head starts to hurt.
@@Ami-ml7gp Yeah, its all about listening to our body/
I got locs for the same reason
Nice to know there other people out there that are tender headed and chose locs.
@@teresap2363 Locs are literal hair freedom to me. My hair is in its natural state and I dont need to do much if I choose. My scalp is happier.
i really wasn't expecting to relate to this so much, because i don't have 4c hair and am not Black. however, i have autism and it was undiagnosed until i was 30. this meant i was genuinely in pain throughout a lot of my childhood and this was simply not understood. i have very serious light and sound sensitivities that i was scolded for, as though i was just acting out. bottom line: if someone is visibly in pain, LISTEN. especially children. even if you can't understand why they are in pain, even if it's something that wouldn't bother you personally... listen to pain. NOBODY should be mocked for being in pain. ever. nobody.
May Jah’s light shine on you and your loved ones always Erin Nic Coinnigh…
Yep
@@sharonluquis5823 ❤️
🫂
You still missing the point.
This shit makes me so mad. Im white and have relatively straight hair, but i have an extremely sensitive scalp where just someone ruffling my hair can really bother me. I spent so much of my childhood crying while my hair was getting brushed because it hurt! An unfortunate amount of people take the "grin and bear it" approach to sensory issues and its so much worse for POC, especially black people. I hope more people take your message in mind.
I remember being hit in the head with the brush for moving and my hair is loose and curly. My mom didn’t have time to waste playing games so if we winced or moved there was punishment. I’m going to do differently with my daughter. If she is wincing too much we will pick a more simple style ❤️
True i love this 😊
Ever since I started looking at hair content on social media I always thought those videos were weird. And it's funny to ppl? Like is being tender headed really a thing or are yall just rough with these little kids lol? It reminds me of conversations I've had with family about corporal punishment. My parents never hit us, and ppl are shocked by that. Like why is it when you hit an adult it's a assault, but when you hit a child it's discipline?
Fr. People hate children, honestly. People are way too excited to hurt kids/ take out emotions on people who can't fight back. Like the people who want to let teachers use corporal punishment on their kids. Why???
It's a carryover from slavery ....they are repeating what the slave master did.
Yep
@@Jennj96 you just described parenting in Jamaica. You won't believe the number of parents who want their children beaten in school.
@@TweSunshine in Ghana too
This was so hard to listen to, those poor kids. How anyone could continue doing what they're doing when its causing so much pain is beyond me. She seems to revel in it even, just sadistic
Some children have sensory processing issues... it's a shame most black people do not want acknowledge that. Poor little thing
That poor baby 😢. I used to be in her shoes when I was a child, and yes that pain was definitely real.
Wow so many revelations. I realized that this is physical trauma to our hair that is experienced at a very young age! That little girl was me!
Also, it’s so ironic that I’ve met many adults who refuse to do certain styles bc their scalp is “too tender.” But never that same compassion or consideration for little black girls.
My mom hated washing my hair, combing my hair, brushing my hair and braiding my hair,she fussed about my hair to everyone, my dad ,sister ,even her grandchild ,which is my niece ,it made me feel ugly and to this day I wear wigs you will not catch me without one😞
Please feel these virtual hugs.
This is so sad. Ppl don't realize (parents especially) that their words and behavior towards children can inflict lasting emotional and psychological harm. I hope in time you are able to heal from the hurt inflicted on you by your mom's actions.
Those videos are giving the scene from "The Color Purple" in the beginning when Celle was doing the childs hair.
I went natural 6 years ago and I'm almost bra strap length, after many setbacks. I haven't done my hair at a hair salon since my last relaxer 6 years ago, one thing I always hated is the way black hair is manhandled, mainly by people who refuse to improve. Relaxer, braids and so forth are done with so much pain and it's become acceptable to the point that we turn a blind eye to black children's pain, also reminds me of how black parents beat their children so badly 😢 I can't bear it but our community thinks it's okay, most of the pain is not necessary. On the point you made about our hairstyles not reflecting the difference in our hair types, I cannot agree more - I've always wondered why our own salons can't do our hair correctly our own hair, why is it that during the entire natural hair movement services like detangling, deep conditioning and other things we do for natural hair don't seem to have made it as services in salons unless they're salons dedicated to natural hair?? It's an unchanging industry and it truly makes me sad.
I saw a video just yesterday twice as much hair. I dunno why they do this. It's like controlled child abuse
Hi, Mayowa! I saw you in an ad in New York City in the subway recently! You were leaning against a bookshelf while reading a book. It must have been a while back because your locs were shorter. I was like "hey, that's Mayowa!" lol
wow!
Girrrrl! Makeup is EXPENSIVE!! So I felt your pain when you had to get rid of it. I’m so happy you’re feeling some relief, Mayowa. You have to always trust your body. Thanks for this video ❤️❤️❤️
I am lucky because my mom was always so careful with my hair, so I never had a bad experience. I actually found it relaxing, every Sunday, I would watch TV or fall asleep while my mom did my hair. If I flinched because of a tug, she'd always apologize and be more careful. Probably why I never hated my hair. My mom always taught me to love my hair and it made a difference. 🥰 Seeing that video is really disturbing to me. I just don't understand. People are hateful sometimes.
That's why, outside of my mom and a few family members, I've never trusted anyone with my hair.
There’s another viral video of a little girl struggling with a “tender head” and most of the comments don’t consider the child’s obvious pain and discomfort. Other stylists even suggested mom drop her off and she will “act better”. The truth is the styles are too much and most likely the parents didn’t take their time to get the child used to having their hair manipulated.
That little girl was clearly tender-headed. Poor thing. That was torture!
I was that tender headed 4c hair child growing up. I HATED getting my hair done. I remember feeling like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t endure getting box braids or I felt my mom was combing my hair too hard. My mom permed my hair when I was probably in 4th grade.
I went natural in 8th grade and I had a couple people do my hair before I just decided to style my own hair myself. I made an effort to treat my hair gently. I would mostly finger detangle and wear my hair in two strand twists.
Now I am almost 24. I have had locs for 4 years now and I’ve only had one person do my hair. it was my first good hair experience with someone else. I still prefer to maintain my own hair but I would not hesitate to return to her chair, because she was so gentle and positive. I couldn’t even feel her retwisting my locs. It’s sucked that I had to wait until I was an adult to not have someone treat my hair like it was a burden and unmanageable
I agree with you on doing a more simple style. Another thing that I want to point out is that many younger girls have styles that are not age appropriate. When I was 12 and younger, my mom would give me the 4 ponytails or less or larger plaits. I have seen several TH-camrs putting weave and intricate braids, and I am not sure that's appropriate for our young girls. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned traction alopecia. I'm a teacher and you would be surprised how many of my high school girls have no edges.
I hated getting my hair done. My mom called me tenderheaded but stayed yanking through my 4c strands. She started straightening my hair in pre-k. I remember seeing baby pics of me with 2 full puffs but that stopped when I had to look "presentable" for school. That burning feeling on your scalp from a relaxer, getting water sprayed into your eyes with your neck bent over the sink or tub, that burn from a flat iron or hot comb, the uncomfortable hair curlers I had to sleep in because straight hair was "too grown", sitting between the knees of a mother who's only goal was to get the hair to lay flat. That's pain. When I tell you I was kicking and crying and all she did was grip tighter to stop me from moving🤧I couldn't wait for wash day to be over. 🤔 Now that I think about it I don't remember anyone intervening, just telling me to hush.
You are so right about not being believed with pain. I really hate that! Where is the softness and grace! Nobody should tell someone what they feel. 😤 Smh, it's sickening and ridiculous. I love your videos. You are awesome 💜
This is so crazy to see the parallels between black and brown ppl when talking about pain endurance ! I'm not black but I have a biracial family member and as kids she would cry so much when getting her hair done. Our older family members shrugged the same exact way, cuz they remember how much it hurt them so the tradition has to keep going. Another example I can think of in my brown community is drinking alcohol. Like all my family members know its bad , my aunt died of it, multiple cousins with alcoholism YET they will still let the younger kids have their first beer at 10! it's a fun family tradition and somehow we take pride in it..wtf. The pain just continues
I wasn't really that tender headed growing up, but my mama was so heavy handed everytime she braided my hair it was times that my eyebrows lifted up when she braided my hair in a tight braid up ponytail, and also my mama said when she was a kid whenever she got her hair comb/braided by her grandmother, if she moved a lot due to her tender headedness that her grandma would pop her with the comb, luckily my mama never did that to me though
I have a 11 almost 12 year old daughter with thick long 4c hair with super shrinkage...she is tender headed but I NEVER complain I create my own detangler, always allow enough time for the style and I give her breaks and check with her throughout the process and I never tell her beauty is pain...nothing good should hurt.
i let my mom do my hair and i was screaming in pain and im a teen but she was like oh you just want attention you just want to make this take longer stop being so sensitive and it just hurt and to all the people who see this it affects your hair and it affects how you see yourself and how you see pain ! you dont need to have pain in ur life boo
It's bad enuf that so many of us went through this as children, but to see it being broadcast now all over social media for others' entertainment and ridicule is next level.
in Melinated communities it's this "unspoken rule" or stigma rather, that it's frowned upon to express discomfort, address pain and/or simply communicate our wants & needs as well as dislikes & what hurts.
Personally I our community, l feel like the right to speak up to in turn be heard, respected & embraced for our vulnerabilities n sensitivities is something that was generationally taught to be numbed since slavery.
Upholding these unspoken cruelty Can Not be how we expect to heal thru this, let alone grow past the 17oo's. This is directed towards emotional pain, physical pain, even spiritual pain and issa damn shame to see such generational suffrage make it to this day.
In other words, please let this child wear an afro proud and freely.
I am glad you’re back, Mayowa! As for the children, especially Black girls dealing with pain… I do not like it, especially when it’s posted online. Also, I noticed how 4C hair is mistreated, especially braided.
My eyes are wet before watching. This hair pain cuts me so deeply. Of all the unnecessary scars to create and inflict on our girls this one last. I need to move to a place where this is not a thing.
I agree with everything you said! I went through a lot of pain as a child getting my hair done by my grandmother. She had what most people would consider "good hair". My brother and I were born with typical black folks hair. Our grandmother put our hair down, and handled mine VERY roughly. My scalp would bleed and at one point a big chunk of my hair was falling out. In the fifth grade the school nurse questioned me when she saw my hair loss and red scalp. I lied because aI knew if I told the truth, I'd suffer severe consequences. Now as an adult, I'm trying to learn to love my hair
"Tender headedness" is real because it is experienced by people of all afro textured hairtypes, not just 4c. My mom has 4c and my daughter has 3a and they are both tender headed. My other sister has 4c hair and she is not. But there is also be something to what you said about people being rough or unnecessarily heavy handed with 4c naturals because they want to beat it into submission. Some care takers almost act offended that 4c hair even exists and they consider themselves almost unlucky in a way to "have to be the one" to manage it. This is a very sad, very outdated form of internalized hatred of our own genetics. The only way to change that is to talk about it. Thanks for making this video.
SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!! HORRIBLE!!!!! 👿 THE DEVIL IS WORKING HARD!!!!!!!
Thanks for speaking up for tender headed. As a child, I was adopted at 2. The very first time I was braided was the time I was adopted, and my mother always told me I rejected brushes, someone even touching my hair. Some people were telling I was "doing too much", but as a grown adult, I know that it wasn't even the suffering, but also the trauma response. Sometimes, the answer isn't in the scalp, but on the scalp. Thanks for your videos, and speaking up for us. Love from France.
You are right stylish seem to be rougher on women with 4C hair when styling. The roughest as to do with what she mentioned in the video and also with black women’s obsession with their hair being “laid, sleek, with prefect polished parts (because we are obsessed with neat parts).
Also as a mother of a daughter that doesn’t have 4C hair but is still very tender headed, It’s extremely frustrating. I’ve never really been around tendered headed women or children I heard about them. Maybe by the time I came around they were use to me but my family, friends etc nothing… and then I have a daughter who ouches when I’m standing behind her doing nothing. So, for the most part I just let her be. But, what I’ve noticed is no one comments on her hair not being done or not looking presentable. I know that has a lot to do with the texture of her hair and the way she looks because even though I don’t have 4C either but it’s still kinky I was never allowed outside as a child “looking a mess” that’s what they called it and looking a mess for them was a non sleek fizzy ponytail what my daughter wear almost everyday. I’m perfectly fine with that.
How can they treat children like that? I’m so sorry those children are being ABUSED.
Why is the child being filmed when she is distressed? This is next level humiliating even for a child!!😡
especially for a child!
I literally would burn up getting relaxers and all they would say is " you wanna love pretty don't you"? My Granny use to be furious because I wouldn't scratch my hair and it still didn't matter .
She would protest about perming my hair yet that was the assimilation ,to not do my hair unrelaxed.
I stopped relaxing )in 2008 . When my cousin stop french braiding my hair , no one wanted to deal with it Not Relaxed.
That video with the little girl crying should be reported. That's child abuse! It makes me so mad to see that level of inhumanity done to a child. Back when I was a kid they didn't know how to make hair softer so that braiding was less painful. But now with all the conditioner and butters and detangling brushes and youtube videos, there's no need to torture black children like that. That stylist is a wicked woman and she needs to be reported.
I had no idea such videos were being posted online - and seeing the video clip brought tears to my eyes. The rough handling is so wrong on so many levels. I have sisterlocks but when I help out with other people's hair (including when I used to do my own hair as a loose natural), especially children, I take my time and am gentle and believe that less manipulation is better - and kinder. You've made many excellent points.
I think this is such an interesting topic as a black mother with a toddler who also has locs now and also a hair stylist. This definitely comes down to compassion and understanding. I am a braider and there are many times where these children come to me and are traumatized by how tightly their hair has been pulled into braids previously. most stylist do not have the understanding that tightness does not create neatness in braiding. the pressure to provide an explore page worthy hairstyle is REAL from all sides and stylists will often sacrifice the integrity of the hair and scalp to achieve the look.
as a mother there is so much pressure to grow and maintain my black Childs hair from conception (not even birth). I face pressure everyday to "do something" with my 1 year old sons hair from my own parents. I believe this is the reason many of the chosen styles for these children is sooooo many small braids. They stay "neat" for longer times and allows the parent to be temporarily relieved of this pressure to keep their child upkept to the standard of an adult.
When I was a kid, braids were only for special occasions because they took so long and required a lot of upkeep. My mom didn't know how to braid so my auntie would do it and she would ask me countless times if I was ok. This was in the 90's so these people are just assholes. Outside of 2 braids; I've had my hair braided braided only about 10 times in my life. Because it's A LOT. I'm always baffled by people who claim braids are easy. That has not been my experience at all.
When I was a kid I used to get relaxers and be shaking crying from the pain of the chemicals going into all the cuts on my very dry scalp. I'm mixed with 4A hair, I have an extremely sensitive scalp (family loved to laugh at me and called me tender headed). They would judge me for not having typical "mixed girl hair". Now that I'm an adult I don't have to have a single person touch my hair if I don't want. I've realized that the pain from relaxers and rough hands pulling on my scalp is worse than getting a tattoo, so I'm very careful about who I let near it.
The fact that people are so rough with kinky textured children's scalps and actually LAUGH at them is so horrible. You really don't have to be that rough with it in the first place. And they are BABIES more sensitive to pain than adults. I used to hate my hair because it hurt so much. Now that I know how to care for it gently and respectfully I love it.
People treat 4C hair rough BC they don't know how to comb hair...
My boyfriend have THICK 4c hair and I do it just fine... U can't do 4c hair without moisture!
I also have 4C hair but I loced it 5 years ago
Please most high get us to an understanding that our hair attached to our scalp I sacred and she be handled like a delicate silk fabric. I'm Hella against children having flat braids weaves and balls and borettes. Its painful ! It's slave mentally to thing it has to be styled to be seen as kept. Our hair is supposed to be out free and in its raw form like the most high intended. Healing to our minds hair and Happy healing and new beginnings MayowA!
Thank you for this platform. I had alot of healing from childhood hair trauma. I passed out once while getting a sew in . I said never again and look at God the natural hair movement came and saved me. I will never ever go back 4Crown for all my lifetimes and my descendents. When I plait my hair at night old school grandma way that is still to tight on my sacred scalp. I have to enforce softness and a loser plait not like when grandma would plait tight so I can only imagine this little precious babe. I volunteer at a school so I see the tightness and irritation. Your points are so on point, Thank you!
This video is needed! Loving this conversation. The whole concept of “tender-headed” needs to die. A lot of these girls grow up and literally develop traction alopecia from these hairstyles but then we mock being tender-headed like it’s an over reaction. No you war ripping hairs out of their head. You are damaging their hair follicles of course it hurts! These poor children. We need to educate people because this type of thinking needs to end.
I literally cringed watching that video,, I felt so bad for the little girl because I used to be her. People doing 4C hair while it’s not moisturized meaning the stylist is just being unnecessarily rough. Also using the wrong combs, and products. Mayowa girl keep speaking up && speaking out about the bs they want us to constantly push under the rug!!! I love your content && I hope everything is going well with your health😌
It's disturbing how being the people with our hair texture most of us don't know how to detangle our hair without ripping and pulling at it. My mom always took care to slowly and carefully detagle me and my sibblings hair so that we were not in pain. And she showed us how to do it ourselves. Which I think is one of the reasons she became a hair dresser and always have an abundance of clientele. Especially children clientes. She's also not heavy handed.
Growing up autistic and tenderheaded getting my hair done would always hurt, i would usually cry and other people would assume i was faking. Autistic people who are sensitive are always told to suck it up.
The word “tender-headed” alone gives me flashbacks of my mom yanking at my 3C hair, and smacking my head w the brush when I was being “dramatic” by crying.
I’m 🇵🇷🇩🇴, as an adult I choose not go to my local NYC Dominican salons because over the years they’ve given me so much baggage. They’ll talk amongst themselves abt how annoying it is to do my hair, I’ve been up-charged just for taking my hair out of its ponytail, or they’ll pressure me to perm it.
Not to come at just Latinos, I even had an African shop lady stop braiding my head abt halfway through, and tell my mother she wouldn’t continue until I was taken to the bathroom to be “straightened out”. I still think abt that w fear in my heart for “embarrassing my mom”… I still buy my black soap and pretty earrings at that shop tho lol.
Ik I’m not black, and I don’t mean to share my experience to take away focus, it’s just to express how common and everyday this form of anti-blackness is across the diaspora.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are absolutely right that anti-blackness is a phenomenon across the diaspora!
I’m a black woman with relaxed hair who has gone to Dominican salons for years and everything you said is true. If my natural texture grows even ONE inch they will pressure me to perm it. So many times they have talked about my hair in Spanish to each other. I’ve tried going natural 3 times already hopefully I can still stick with this time because I cannot deal with the texturism within the Dominican community anymore.
You’re so right. I followed her because I could relate to the kids since I used to cry when I was a child getting my hair done. It didn’t even cross my mind that they needed the be more sensitive. Growing up you’re always taught to just sit there because it’s something that has to be done anyways. That type of mindset really needs to change 🙁 Even as an adult stylist hate when I tell them I’m tender headed, they cared even less about it when I was a kid 😭
There are also hairdressers, family, and friends who are heavy handed. I have a relative who plaits hair etc and everyone tells her you can hardly feel her hands and yet it is styled and neat.
These stylist know that they can make the braids not be so tight but because these parents want these styles to “last” they braid too tight anyways…if braids are too tight that can lead to traction alopecia and it will literally be the parents fault for forcing their children to wear these too tight braids.
I had to start doing my own hair because the way my mom or my older sisters did it was just not suitable for me. I think it's sooo important to listen to your body, and especially your head, when you're feeling pain or any sort of discomfort. I love how your videos bring awareness to such essential discussions.
I heard from a hair chemist that being tenderheaded is not normal. Your either using way too much mechanical force (tugging, pulling etc) or too many chemicals (relaxers, perms etc) and this is very true. My scalp became very tender with the relaxers but after I stopped using them i no longer suffered
I definitely agree that black people tend to not give the same sensitivity to young black kids especially girls when it comes to getting their hair done. My mom used to make me feel so bad about my hair. I thought I had bad hair. She used to always use kinky and nappy in a negative connotation that to this day I am trying to unlearn that kinky and nappy isn’t bad. And it’s true that people with loser textures can get away w messy hair styles and be called cute. Which is annoying.
I’m happy that I love my hair today and I don’t allow anyone in my head that’s not going to be patient and provide gentle care. I don’t even allow myself to treat my hair harshly. I love up on it and take my time.
My mother was super tender headed but no one believed her. As an adult she never relax her hair or cornrow or locs. She grew her hair long. On us she did 2 or 4 or 6 the max loose braids with berets.
I do loose twists on my hair and I make them big so they don’t tangle. My hair is long and thick.
I do my daughters hair while she’s sleeping in my lap or I put her on the washing machine and do her hair, which she loves. I do 2 or 4 or 6 the max big twists. And I use Satin bows or beads that she picks out.
Afterwards, she kisses me and twirls and dances in the mirror.
I came across one of those videos last night and I felt so disturbed in my spirit that I shut it off without finishing. I couldn't articulate what was so upsetting aside from feeling it was not at all entertaining. It was confusing bc I got handled this way as a child being tenderheaded at times but it didn't feel like it felt watching it happen to another.
This comment I'm making has nothing to do with hair but with pain... When I was pregnant with my daughter, I kept going to the L&D emergency toward which was supposed to be the month before I gave birth.... Needless to say, they kept sending me home when I came to them that I am in immense pain.... Well come to find out, the pain I was experiencing was me feeling my actual uterus rupture ... The day I went into labor it was the morning and I felt like I was dyinggggg... 🥺🥺 After I had her I was told by the doc that I could have died both me and baby and was asked "why didn't you go to the L&D emergency at all"? .... 😒😒😒 I told her I did and nobody would help me just tell me I'm "dehydrated" and need rest and to go home. I was bed ridden the whole time I was pregnant 😡😡... Those ppl don't listen to black women when we r in pain, let alone ppl period. They assume that we r lying and just making things up.... My advice to all the women is to speak up and defend yourselves!!! Take legal action if u must.... This too goes for hair and nails and anything that has to do with maintaining ourselves you don't have to be silenced!!!! I wish I would have done something right away .. my baby is now here doing well trying to gain weight as a premature lil cutie and I'm still bed ridden a bit even after birthing her 3 months ago.... God Bless you all and be safe!
i can't help but think about the amount of HOURS taken from girl children's childhoods. so much time is being taken away because they're afab.
(also, being taught to silently endure pain should not be part of girlhood/childhood.)
A lot of those black women online talking smack dont seem to be wearing their natural hair out. Looking at some of dem DP's and it's weaves or wigs.
My 6 year old daughter is very tender headed. I'm as gentle as I can be with her hair but she would sometimes scream out in pain. I feel so bad for her- still trying to figure out how to soften her hair
I just saw a video like this from a hairstylist and I recommend the Revair to that stylist. Hopefully she gets it . I love deeper than hair and Jennifer Cynthia both have TH-cam channels that everyone should model
Just because someone has 4c hair doesn't mean they can't have tender scalp. Type 4 hair is treated aggressive which causes breakage
P.s I completely understand that this video is more deeper than just the physical that my comment is about
Mayowa thanks for this. Never understood the need for extremely complex styles on little kids.
You raise such a valid point!! I don’t think you have to be a parent to recognise abuse. I think that this experience that that child went through will have a huge negative effect on her relationship with her parent that took her to that hairdresser, because it shows that her parent is not willing to help her when she’s experiencing extreme pain or discomfort. Poor little girl. ❤
I think the style the child got is usually done particularly tight for the sake of “ neatness”. That is to say anyone in the chair would have flinched and couple that with the fact the child is tender headed it was probably a nightmare. If a child is tender headed I would not suggest this protective hairstyle. Maybe twists would be better
No, no AND no. I never had issues with my mom doing my hair. I sometimes do my little cousins hair and I always try to make it comfortable as possible. It breaks my heart to see and hear them cry of pain.
If I'm not mistaken, I seen another video of this stylist and another child client..Chile, this is close to being tortured and if other ppl can't see that then they got some work to do. Thank you for being awareness to this topic!
As a person who has 4c hair, I still cry at my grown age when someone touches my head and isn't being gentle. I am so tender headed, and I am so not ashamed for being sensitive.
As being a child of 1 of 5 children with 4c hair my mum did not have time to be gentle with my hair. She would truly rip through it with a small comb to try and tame it as quickly as possible. I dont blame her - 4 girls heads to do on a Sunday for the new week of school is a lot! I will say though, I was a very tendered headed child, everyone joked that I would never stop crying, that I was "shakey Stevens" on account of me shaking and breathing heavy before I even got into the chair (probs massive anxiety). Horrible to really look back on it again with different eyes.
I didn't stop crying until I was 11. Four years later I got a scalp infection. Funny where being desensitised to your own scalp takes you.
One night when I was six I snuck into the kitchen to get scissors to cut my hair off so I didn’t have to endure the pain of braids 😢 and I used to wish I was a boy so I could just get a fade like my cousins . So sad 😢
Not only the physical roughest but the psychology roughest scars and quiet shame of their very being in the world. We need to stop just stop.
When I was a child my aunt would do my hair and I would be in so much pain. One time she braided my hair so tight I had to go to the nursing office at school. I had a bad headache and my scalp developed yellow hard balls on my scalp. I never let her touch my scalp again. The way my family cared for my hair is why at 12 I begged my mom to let me care for my own hair. Even yesterday I went to a stylist for the first time and she was so rough with my hair I had to stop her. My hair never hurts when I’m detangling it but she didn’t know a damn thing about kinky hair as she claimed she did. I’m never going to a stylist again. As much as my hair can be time consuming and sometimes I want a break I’ll never let anyone in my hair again.
The issue I have with wearing my naturl 4c hair is that, when I apply products to my hair, my hair falls out in clumps everytime I touch it. On wash days, half of my hair falls out and ends up in the trash. It keeps falling out, everytime I touch my hair when applying products and also, the products fall in my eyes. The protein treatment from sallys beauty, actually damaged my eyes, and I am half blind, because I wanted to be beautiful with long flowing hair. Ladies protect your eyes, googles etc. when washing and applying products.
That is NOT normal! You may have an allergy to certain ingredients or some other issue. I hope you go to a dermatologist to get that checked out.
Yeah you need to get this checked ASAP
If your hair is falling out, something is wrong elsewhere in your body
I am 90% in agreement with you on this. It all comes down to making it work for the specific person/childs pain tolerance.
When i was a child my mother always did my hair. Im moderately tenderheaded and my mom would make sure she wasnt hurting me because SHE is very tenderheaded and knows what its like.
I never went to a hair shop until i was like 13 and it was terrible! I was old enough to know not to make a fuss but those ladies dont care about how youre feeling! It was so unexpected how painful it was getting my hair done at a shop! But i came to realize these people werent my mother and would braid tighter. Also they break and tear your hair out to get the job done faster!
And ive endured the pain of hair braiding from strangers for like 20 years, wondering why everyone was so rough! I still do my best to grit my teeth til its done but a couple tears still slip out(depending on the stylist).
Until recently when i found a woman who asked my about my sensitivity and fully brushed/moisturized my hair gently before braiding to make sure i was confortable the way my mother used to. I legit cries tears of joy and tipped her 100%
She is my one and only stylist now. And i never dread getting my hair done anymore csuse im taken care of.
Another important factor is what these kids have experienced at home before going to shops. Ive seen 4-7 year old black children getting their hair done with no problems because they know what to expect. Then ive seen mixed children like 10+ in the shop screaming their heads off like that because their white moms neglected their hair their entire lives. I feel like its both the parents responsibility to introduce normal grooming regularly as well as the people in these shops to work compassionately. Especially on children!
Almost 5 years down my own natural hair journey, being tender headed SIMPLE WORKS BEST. 😊✍🏾
Also that I know that for me getting my hair done when it isn't wet it hurts more. Maybe she could have used water and a leave in.
This so true the way people handle 4c hair with so much roughness even at the salon the braiders they don't like it when you complain that your hair hurt & they should take it easy, also we should honestly learn to treat ourselves with softness fr the hard hard rough tough we to ourselves is BAD...