When women make an index of guys at their university, it's usually one to warn each other about predators. That one of the guy creating a "pokedex" was NOT doing for that reason.
Even the reason they gave is awful. Imagine trying to over ride the filters a woman might have around her space by faking an interest in her you don't (can't) really have.
the only good thing about this list was we weren't compared to objects this time, so I guess that's like .5% better than usual. But seriously, who does that? Creepy af and manipulative. Here's how you find out all that information you can get on the spreadsheet. TALK TO HER.
for the “pokédex” one, even if the guy who initially made it doesn’t use it for “nefarious reasons”, it’s still weird, first of all, but it’s also extremely naive to assume it’s not being used in ulterior ways ESPECIALLY when its shared between around 40 FRAT guys
waking someone up is awkward if you're not super friendly with them. I actually had a VERY similar experience with a roommate in college where I knew she had a 9am exam and she wasnt up at 8.15. I set an extremely loud alarm to go off 5 minutes after I left at 8.20. That way, it woke her up and I could just apologize for accidentally "forgetting" my alarm if they got mad. It woke her up and we had a laugh about the "lucky accident" that helped her get to her exam on time. I never told her I did it on purpose lol.
This is an extremely clever way of waking someone up and perfect for college situations. This made me laugh when u admitted u didn’t tell her it was on purpose 🤣🤣
I did something similar too - roommate had an earlier exam than I did, I got up to get ready (about 20 mins before her exam started) and she wasn't up, but I didn't know if her exam was online or something so I didn't want to wake her up. so I just got ready a little louder than usual, banged around some plates while making breakfast, and she ended up waking up before her exam started. she didn't make it on time because she drove over a curb and popped her tire on the way to the exam (and then had to wait for AAA) but at least she was up
I am a mom. Personally, I would not stay in a library with my screaming baby. I would feel awful subjecting people to what is one of the most grating sounds in the world in an environment that is supposed to be somewhat quiet. However, the mother's response tells me that she may be on the verge of a breakdown over the relentless crying of her baby. Her not even attempting to soothe the baby may point to a baby who will not be soothed. I have known people with babies who never stop crying. It will steal your sanity. I feel bad for the mom, but I also feel it's unreasonable to expect library patrons to listen to a crying baby for an hour.
My new neighbors should be more like you... They have twin boys who keep yelling in the echoey stairs room and they don't do anything about it. The other day the mother had one of them screaming on her doorstep and I'm like "can you please at least have him screaming *inside* with the door *closed*?" and she was like "you say that again when you have children of your own" and I was like "lol this is exactly the reason why I'm never going to have kids". AITA for requesting this of her? I feel like it should be a common courtesy to not subject your neighbors to the grating screaming of your children, and it's not like I asked her to lock them in a closet or plaster their mouth. I merely asked her to take him a meter back and close the door lol
@@Thenoobestgirl Maybe just report her to CPS, I have a son that could scream bloody murder for no end. And I always felt MORTIFIED anyone could hear him, so I would do anything to try and soothe him, especially if we were out in public.
@@ceciliatapioca do not wantonly suggest someone call CPS on a family just because they have rowdy children. Do you not realize the potential consequences, beyond the invasion of privacy?
@@alexey5481 -i would call CPS if I thought the child and/or mother was in a bad position.... such as hanging out in a library as if she had no where else to go with her screaming child. Clearly she needs help. CPS is not the police they help people, even if the pride of the parents might get hurt.
My youngest cried for first 2 months of her life. Turned out she wanted to be a tummy sleeper which any parent can't tell you goes completely against all recommendations for safe sleeping for your baby so I spent the next two months sleeping next to her bed barely sleeping. It was the worst 4 months I've ever had. We had to keep sending my other 2 kids to grand parents so they could get some sleep and my hubby and I took turns sleeping because she wouldn't sleep for more than 15mins at a time. It was awful and she was constantly crying and people would look at me like I was neglecting her when really there was nothing I could do for her and I needed to put her in her pram because my back hurt from carrying her the last 2 hours
The one with the young sibling strikes a theory in me: The sister keeps bringing her college plans up because no one will celebrate with her. The family is sick of hearing about it and withholds communication or approval which makes her fight harder for approval and annoys them further. That why even though what he said wasn't that bad, the intent to shut her up was heartless and she was super upset. I hope she had friends to celebrate with. I bet she'll love being away from home.
This exactly!! And honestly on the families side, even if you ARE annoyed about your daughter being proud of her achievement, she'll be on campus the next semester. At least fake your investment until then. There was no need for the brother to be so cruel and for the mother to endorse it.
I thought the same because something similar happened to me. When my brother got in college, everyone celebrated him, like I remember my mom screaming in joy and jumping hugging him because of how proud she was. Everyone would talk about it, and I remember being slightly jealous of him, but I never did anything bad. Although years later, affected me more, because when I got in college, nobody celebrated me, heck, took my mom years to even know what I was studying, and whenever she would talk about it to other people she would roll her eyes when saying it
Public librarian of 10+ years here- in my experience, most librarians handle noise complaints (patron complaints, period) with as much sensitivity and decorum as we can. That being said, even in public libraries- which have become more like centers for community engagement & resources than ultra-strict, old-school “shushing” environments- there still exists a reasonable expectation for other patrons (and library staff) to not be subjected to sustained yelling, screaming, etc. Kids cry- we get that, and at my library, we’ll even bring over busy bags and educational activities to help distract/calm crying children. If it continues even after gentle intervention, most library staff will suggest some cooldown time outside the library, and that the parent try bringing the child back once they’ve had a chance to calm down. If I had to guess, the apparent harshness from the librarian here wasn’t in reaction to the child crying, but to the parent’s completely inappropriate screaming. Verbal abuse towards anyone- other patrons and library staff- is never OK and is rarely tolerated for the safety of everyone in the library. Just adding some professional perspective- LOVE the podcast/Holo Taco!
yeah at least calm the kid outside. thats what i did as a big sister in all situations i brought my siblings in and it made people feel uncomfortable. and im sorry to say that but i just thought "this would annoy me" and i was 13-18 in those situations. now im 26 and my mind still hasnt changed and i do the same with my niece
My only thought on the baby one is the length of time in which the baby was crying. I completely understand an unsoothable child but after like ten minutes, in a library at that, that she didn’t take the baby into the bathroom or outside for some air and soothe them there? After a certain amount of time in any space, that would get irritating. If this was a plane or somewhere she couldn’t escape from it would be a different story.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. If it was a full hour there is something else here. Regardless of the reason, you’d think that person would understand they are in a place where being quiet is the normal and have tried to move elsewhere.
Conpletely agree, that was a crazy amount of time. Like if you took a baby to a movie theater and it started crying and wouldn't stop it would be inconsiderate not to leave and be back untill it calmed down.
I thought about that too, I don't now lot about babies, but like, didn't they cry, when they have some problem? Like I'm not that great with them, but I had times looking after some of my friend's/family's , and even I'm able to figure it out in 15-20 mins, lol.
31:09 I can confirm it is super creepy! I was unfortunately a victim of harassment in middle school and it got to a point where a ton of strangers knew details about me. Kids I had never met in my life would walk up to me and tell me my full name, my extracurricular activities and where and when I did them, etc., etc. It was actually terrifying. To be honest, my fear that I'm being followed, or that someone is listening to my conversations, remains. At the time I even had an irrational fear that people could hear my thoughts, and it was seriously debilitating.
The story about the failing grade is so frustrating. OP says they gave the kid lots of opportunities to do homework or extra credit, and that they had multiple parent/teacher meetings to keep the kid's mom aware. It might have been better for the teacher to just say to the kid, "You had lots of chances to improve your grade through the semester, what happens now is what you chose." But for the kid's mom to claim they didn't "invest more in Levi," that's so annoying and entitled. Especially when a teacher has tried to make the class as simple and low-stress as possible. ALSO as a librarian, the last story irritated me from the policy standpoint. If the library staff talked to the mom multiple times and she still didn't make any attempt to do anything about the baby crying, they can ask her to leave. It's a conduct disruption, unless the mom and baby were in a children's section where there is a reasonable expectation of kid noise. OP shouldn't have approached the mom directly.
+1 to what you said about the failing grade thing. It's hard to know without knowing the people involved, but for the way it's described, not only the kid wasn't making any effort, but he also was surrounded by adults enabling that kind of attitude and behaviour to the point of blaming the teacher for 'failing' the student instead of acknowledging the kid's responsibility over his results. One of the many reasons I could never be a teacher is because I would hatehatehate dealing with parents like those on a regular basis.
@@hozepheena yup. I was considering becoming a teacher a few years ago and I worked in an afternoon care for pre school students. Most parents were nice and understanding, but those few parents who never saw any bad behaviour in their kid were the most annoying people.
Especially true when the teacher has at least 25 other kids to worry about (per class even) ive fallen behind in high school and my teachers always made me aware of it very early on and I'd feel so bad for potentially letting them down when they really were trying their best to teach me
I was coming down here to say this too. Not only does it sound like Levi and his parents have been made aware of his grade and still nothing has changed, but now they're mad he's failing? It sounds like they just want Levi to pass just because. Also this won't (potentially) ruin him graduating. Retake grade 11 chemistry 1st semester of grade 12 and then do the next chem class in the next semester. Also the fact that this teacher is trying her best with this student shows how good of a teacher she is. Especially since she probably has close to 100 students who also need her attention.
@@hozepheena RIGHT?? My petty ass would respond to that e-mail saying “I’m sorry you didn’t invest more time raising up your child and teaching him the importance of responsibility and that there are consequences to your actions.”
Damn, the "Katie" question hit hard because I was a Katie multiple times in middle and high school. I always felt left out and never had a group of friends I knew would welcome me to sit with them at lunch. I would try to make friends, but I could always tell these groups were just being polite out of pity. I would've left them alone but I didn't have any other friends I could go to instead. I thought maybe I could show them more of my personality and somehow win them over in time, but it never happened. Eventually, the group I was trying to be part of would go out of their way somehow to segregate themselves from me (changing lunch periods, always gathering at the house of the friend who lived far away from me, ect.) I was suffering from severe OCD and depression at the time, so in hindsight I can understand why people didn't want me around. But still, thinking about those times hurts.
I was also a Katie in middle school, floating around & never having a real group of friends that actually liked having me around. I’ve seen a few people comment that they were the Katie at their school…I wish we all had each other to be friends with growing up 😂❤
Anyone relating to Katie in that story might be autistic. It’s certainly very similar to what a lot of autistic people experience, myself included. My only tip is to find other autistic people to socialize with, since you’ll likely have similar socialization styles.
The issue with Katie's story here imo is that they waited three years. They're implying that they were vague about their wants for three years, and could clearly tell she wasn't getting the message, and now want to tell her it's not working. It's going to be heartbreaking for her. Yes confrontation is scary, but realising you've been unwanted by people you thought were your friends for three years is mortifying. They could have saved her a lot of pain by being honest a long time ago.
If they already put up with it for 3 years they can put up with it for one more year haha. You don’t have to stay friends after college. One of them needs to talk to her one on one and offer to get her help to talk about her issues-like getting her an appointment with a guidance councillor. Explain to her that those topics are too heavy for dinner/hanging out casually with friends
I know i might be reading too much or projecting but Katie sounds Autistic(? Someone who cant read social cues and probably has some weird interests she can't stop talking about, so yeah, they should have deffinetly told her directly and sooner
Plot twist? Katie is just a sociology and psychology student conducting a social experiment to see how long it takes for someone to tell a stranger to leave their friend group??
I would have had a 94% in my first year French course had I remembered about this one assignment 10 minutes earlier… it was pain. Still got an 89%, but ugh, frustrated by myself sometimes.
Same, I've graduated from university already but still have dreams where I can't graduate because I somehow forgot about a class for the whole semester.
The pokemon one is fuckedddd that's so gross. I have memory loss so I need to write down some stuff too, but it's worse when it's frat dudes doing it for sorority girls just knowing how to make yourself attractive to them, like be yourself? Gross. Even if it's not about sex, it's super manipulative, it's fake, creepy. I bet 100% if they were themselves, the girls would likely not be interested, and you're forcing them to be interested by pretending to be interested in what they like and do.
I also have problems with memory, and while I might have to write down a person's name and describe to myself what they look like, it would never go further than that. What really makes this guy worse is that he decided to share it with other guys. You just don't do that, regardless of any circumstances. Also, what happened to following people on social media? Is that not enough of a tracker of public info anymore?
and like its one thing if its just a couple random things from a few people, but specifically with girls, specifically to know what to talk to them on dates about (didnt realize fav color was a hot topic). The guy is either faking being that innocent or is just otherwise socially inept. but the fact that he notes "it wasnt for bad reasons" makes me thing its the former.
I went back to the first post and turns out the sister got into McGill, which is a great school even outside of Canada, the brother is probably just immature and jealous but the parents are insane for thinking their daughter is annoying for mentioning she got into McGill
Truly! McGill is really well known in the States for being a great school. it sounds like these parents are attributing completely wrong intentions to a child who just wants them to share her excitement and pride. How mean! You are her parents, you SHOULD be proud of your daughter's achievement. I hope she finds some friends at McGill that can give her the excitement and support she probably desperately needs.
The baby one I completely agree with reddit, the op was not an asswhole at all. And my opinion is based on the op saying the mom didn't try to soothe the baby. The point Cristine made about the mom maybe not having another option to leave the baby and study was super valid but I always assume that a library is a place people are quiet unless told otherwise. A baby crying it's normal but the mom can attend to the and try and soothe them, as per the op's description the mom didn't even try and I think for that they were right to get the mom out of there bc she clearly didn't care for anyone else's experience in that public place where you expect quietness most of the time.
I have always been the "Katie" and it's really hard. Now that I'm older, I can tell when people don't like me, but when I was younger, I never could tell and would cling to whoever would keep me around. I realize now I'm not the problem, that it is just one of those things where certain people just don't click with certain people. Just be upfront! Tell Katie. It will cause less pain imo.
Yo same. You on the spectrum too by any chance? I found all her traits so painfully reminiscent of my younger self. Just trynna... make fren. Follow people, try to engage, make them awkward, not pick up on cues whatsoever.
I haven't been the Katie personally, but the idea of this girl thinking these people were her friends and after *3 years* be told they don't like her, that they've never had. It breaks my heart, I can't fathom how painful that would be, if I even imagine my friends telling me something like that it would break my heart. I feel so bad for Katie. And I know these people are not trying to be mean, but waiting 3 years to tell someone you don't click with them, those are 3 years of friendship that have become a lie to Katie. They even said Katie doesn't have other friends, It's way kinder to tell Katie right at the start if something bothers you so they can decide if its something in their behavior that needs to change or just find new friends; after 3 years at college a lot of friend groups are pretty much consolidated and it's much harder for a new person to join the dynamic. I hope Katie finds the right group of people for her.
no you being you is not the issue but you also lack of social intelligence. depending of the culture and the education it can be hard to tell people off especially for some people. in france you would have been excluded more openly i assume.
but if the med student was doing an exam she couldn't just get up and move to a different computer, the progress might be lost or the link only works once. at least that would be the case normally for an online exam. ideally the student would have headphones with them, but it also is unreasonable that the child was crying for an hour in a library and the mother didn't do anything about it, like taking it outside or to a bathroom or smth
I’m an autistic adult and I was often Katie in life. I’ve grown and do have friends now but often times, those “cues” don’t get through to autistic people. You have to be explicit with boundaries. It may feel harsh but it can be done in a way that isn’t mean. It’s appreciated because it cues us into what you are saying nonverbally.
That roommate getting mad at her bc she didn't wake up for her exam set me off! I would have told her, "I'm not your mother, you're a grown woman, you are responsible for yourself!" It's literall projection of her own failure.
Agreed! Also... They didn't ask to be checked on. What we usually do is tell each other. Please if I'm not awake at 7am please knock on my door. Otherwise everyone does their own thing. At the end of the day you are an adult... You may need to kinda find what works for you
For the story regarding the crying baby in the library, I was always told you need to keep the noise down to a minimum or in very low voice. You never walk into a library and yell across the floor or people talk at regular decibel like at at a restaurant where the noise level will remain high because so many conversations are going on and trying to be heard over others. Even if there with a study group you keep your voices lower as to not disturb the people at the next table. Or would it be ok to have a full fledged phone conversation at the library. I would think you’d walk outside or over to another area. So the same should be said of the baby. And as reference I’m a parent and would feel mortified that everyone could here my baby crying it’s head off, regardless of location, I’d exclude myself and go somewhere else until they calm down. It’s about being courteous to others around you. However, I think she got herself kicked out for starting an argument and calling that other person a name.
I think Ben's point about the possibility that the lady didn't have any other option is worth considering. I mean, take the most extreme case: if she didn't have a home / safe place to go. Many smaller towns don't have many public spaces besides libraries where you could go to warm up during winter or cool down during summer. Of course, hopefully as a society we focus on providing more emergency shelters and crisis centers etc, but the reality is that if it were freezing cold outside and she had no where to go, I can see why she would stay in the library even with a crying baby. Who knows, maybe she needed the public computer to apply to jobs or search the internet for other places to go. The fact that she snapped might show that she's under a ton of stress
@@13cathie emergency shelters still make you leave for the daytime, to save money on staffing. They kick you out right after breakfast and chores and you aren't allowed back inside until dinner prep time, no matter the weather, in most cities. I can definitely picture a newly homeless mother, without resources, sitting there in a daze not having the option of fixing whatever is causing her baby to cry (no money for diapers, too physically exhausted to walk/rock, doesn't know where to go for help yet, etc) and while obviously we have no way to know whether that's true, it definitely would have been my first guess as to what's going on. I really hope that the librarian acted that way because they had already checked and that wasn't the case, because it would be tragic if they were kicking her out into the weather without considering that possibility and offering the help that most librarians are happy to provide (info on where to get resources for babies, places to go that are safe, or even just a few kind words that will give her the strength to come back into herself and take care of herself and her baby)
But in the end, it’s about removing yourself from the common area, closer to the door, bathroom, entry hallway, etc until you can calm the baby down. So not to disturb everyone.
@Brenda B and when you're homeless living in a shelter, your legs are exhausted from walking everywhere, possibly upwards of an hour just to get to your nearest public library, so going to go stand elsewhere for hours isn't always an option. Also, not all libraries have a place that is away from the "common area" in which customers are allowed to go. You can't just sit in the bathroom with your baby for the 6-8 hours the shelter kicks you out for. Humans aren't even built to sit on a toilet for longer than a few minutes, let alone hours, they're too narrow, and people need them to actually, you know, use the toilet? Not just sit in an isolation room with their baby?
If you don't want to be friends with Katie why fake it for three years? They should have made it clear freshmen year so she could have found new friends when everyone is making new friends. Now they've waited so long its going to be even more hurtful.
Who else is kind of happy for Cristine and Ben that they've relaxed enough now to not filter their language? So many "fuck bombs" and honestly, I'm here for that fucking energy. 😂
To answer Simply's question about open book exams nowadays, I had electronic open note exams in uni and we were allowed to upload 1 pdf file of our notes to our school website and during the exam download that pdf onto a school computer for reference. Basically I could Ctrl+F my way through a 300 page pdf during the exam. However it was an analysis course so the exam was about problem solving rather than memorization so having access to the information didnt mean that we didnt study.
I have a coworker who sneezes and it sounds like a puppy dog bark and it is so loud. We all now just sing "who let dogs out woof woof" when she sneezes. We love her and would never tell her to hush the sneeze.
It's like they thought real life is like a dating sim where you have info on people so you don't get confused about the stats of all the girls you are juggling. and to make it available to like 40 people as well? disgusting.
Love Cristine's advice at the end of the podcast! I went away to college at 16 but my personal life during my late teens and 20s was so unstable that I failed out of college the first time AND second time I went. It took a long time for me to forgive myself and get over that shame. I finally completed my bachelor's degree a few years ago, in my 30s, and redoing classes and actually learning what I had wanted to learn all along felt so good and healing. Now I have a master's degree and a great job, but it took me forgiving myself to get there :)
Blaming the teacher for failing a class is just plain cruel unless a large percentage of your peers are also failing due to poor teaching. I had to retake organic chemistry but I’d never blame the professor for my poor grade.
Yes exactly. I’ll take responsibility if I’m not doing my work but once in high school I had the worst ap chem teacher. They couldn’t find someone to fill the role bc the previous ap chem teacher (who also taught me chemistry honors before I took ap chem) went onto a research firm job instead of teaching. They put a random biology teacher in the role of ap chem teacher and she could NOT teach that class at ALL. Literally one time, we all got like 50 on a quiz. Our class was only 11 students lol, so we all studied together and were CONFIDENT on our answers. We looked into it and the teacher had graded the assignment wrong!!!! She graded answers that were correct as wrong. We took it to admin and they started sitting in on her class and making her follow more AP teaching styles bc she was just WINGING it the whole time. We all ended up failing the AP exam and most of us all ended with a B or C. Literally the worst class I ever had to take. She could not teach that class and she wasted a LOT of time. She soent like two whole months going over honors chem work when we should have only focused on that for two weeks before moving onto the AP material. It was such a mess.
Very true. Or if they’re clearly teaching poorly. I had a geometry teacher who told us our test would be on a certain thing, so I went home and studied for hours. Math was the only class I struggled with and it gave me anxiety even going into her classroom. Then we start the test and it was on *nothing* we studied. She said we should have been prepared anyway. I’ll never forget that shit lol
In my early 30's and I have dreams of where I'm late for class and my locker won't open and when it does all my books are gone. Dreams like that are never going to end.
just in case you didn't know this but UK Universities aren't actually easier to get into. You're just more likely to get into one because they have a quota of the amount of exchange/foreign students to take on becasue they can charge foreign students thousands upon thousands of pounds more than they can charge local residents
the first post actually made me so angry. even if the sister is being a bit much, shes obviously SO excited and proud of her achievement, and that is soso important. as someone who was never confident in school and didnt feel that i would ever get anywhere (school completely ruined my self confidence in so many ways), it makes me so upset seeing someone shitting on someone who actually feels really good about themselves. i really hope that situation didnt pop her bubble, bc she definitely deserves to be as excited and proud as she is. that being said, im more frustrated with the mother because she should know better. and the brother clearly learned this type of behavior and attitude from the mother, based on her reaction.
I understand how you feel, like it may be a lil annoying but I'd rather have a sibling who gets too excited compared to one who always thinks they're never good enough, and feel like they can't celebrate their achievements.
i knew someone who had the whole “slept through exam and failed their exam” thing the difference though, which absolutely warranted an asshole verdict was that the roommate turned the other person’s alarm off. i heard this story secondhand from the jilted party perspective but from the information ive been given is that person A was sleeping through an alarm clock that was still in the process of going off and person B turned their alarm off without attempting to wake them up and then left…
As an aspiring teacher (currently in my second year of college), I think that making most of the grade based on homework and participation is better than mostly based on tests. This is showing students that in life you are rewarded and more successful if you put in daily/weekly work into a certain area. You will see progress more by working every week on something than just a one time. Kind of like working out or learning a language.
i understand the idea behind it but a final exam is more fair coz life gets in the way and we don't learn the same way. i find it more efficient to binge learn a subject as my brain like going from a to z and not a to f and come back for more later (less confusion for me). i do know i am not in majority though.
I feel badly for Katie. I’ve been bullied by people that I thought were my friends in grade school (told to go hang out with other people and teased afterwards) and it sits with you for quite awhile. I’ve always had issues making friends and worry that I over share too much sometimes. I agree with Cristine’s recommendation of maybe trying to see if there’s other acquaintances or people that may connect more with Katie. Hopefully Katie finds her people ❤️
what cristine didn't understand about the student taking the exam at the public library, was that she wouldn't have been able to change computers after starting the exam. she mentioned that the exam was already pre-timed, and if she logged out, it would have been an instant fail since she wouldn't be able to log back in to continue the exam.
I'm a high school math teacher and the one about failing the kid broke my heart (for the teacher). I also hold a philosophy that effort and participation should be the bulk of the reward because I know math is daunting to some and I just want to see you TRY. It seems the teacher goes above and beyond to try to make sure her students are successful. Offering extra credit and having multiple conferences with mom was probably even more than what is required so, yes, the teacher did "invest a little more." Too many parents see a report card grade and instantly want to attack the teacher, which is ridiculous, especially in this age where most students and their parents can look up their grades with an app at any point in a semester, not just at the end. I'm assuming Mom in this case doesn't really discipline her child and just kept saying something along the lines of "Don't worry sweetie, teacher is just mean, you won't fail"
One of the things I absolutely hated about being an Accounting major in College was with the online homework we only had three tries to get a question correct and if you made one mistake it would screw up the entire problem. So it became more about getting 100% on the question and less about understanding the concepts which did not help when the exams came around.
for the one about the person who couldn't delete the homework, it could've been a shared document that they could edit using their own account but couldn't revoke the other person's access to it
I'm with Cristine. I don't like group projects or presentations. I'd rather just do the work myself. I also couldn't avoid them when I was going to school for my masters.
Same esp in college it’s just awkward. In high school you pretty much know everyone in your class for the most part and could probably get along with them for the time being for a group project. But in college you’re stuck with completely random people and sometimes they’re twice your age lol and things get awkward. I remember my first year of college I had a group project and it was soooo awkward. We all met in the library and were completely silent the whole hour lol.
I recently completed a course (done online during covid lockdown in my country) where the lecturer was kind enough to let me do the assigned group projects as solo assignments. had so much less stress because I could complete it at my own pace and I ended up doing it faster, plus I didn't have to my ideas shot down by group consensus.
I don't know, the one about the library was weird. If I saw a child cry for about an HOUR with a mother doing absolutely nothing to fix it I would immediately assume it's one of those entitled Karens. It also just sounds like she didn't care about her kid at all.
As a common courtesy thing she should have stepped out of the library to soothe the baby for the sake of everyone else. In defence of the mum just a bit tho, the baby continuing to cry doesn’t necessarily mean she was at no point trying. If the baby was sick, teething, the comfort toy had been lost, etc, it could be something out of the control of the mum.
Yeah, im on the op's side for the most part on that one. Not being able to take a test in a quite place like they wanted (i'm assuming this was probably durring covid given the restrictions), and having adhd while trying to take a test, I can only imagine a baby crying for 1-1.5 hours can be incredibly distracting. And some babies have quite a set of lungs on them. Some people are also more sensitive to noises then others. I think though there may have been something going on with the mother given the reaction, and I think perhaps op could have handled it a tad better but the librarians should have already said something to the mome if it had been going on that long.
Really? The reaction doesn't sound like a Karen, it sounds like a mother who is having trouble being an actual mother. Like the breaking down immediately and not even trying to sooth her child, to me it sounded like that mother could in some serious post-partum trouble/depression. I mean it shouldn't be the librarians job to triage this kind of situation and they have a good reason to kick her out for consistent conduct violations. I just wanted to mention that it might not be her being an uncaring privileged Karen but someone who is some serious mental crisis which is why she's acting really really strange for someone with a baby
@@charliev4156 Mostly agree, but even if it wasn’t in the mother’s control, other patrons shouldn’t be subjected to a baby crying especially if in a place that is expected to be quiet. What gets me is that this should’ve been addressed by the staff, not OP.
I think kicking the mom out wasn’t an asshole thing. Library are places for people to study and read. Where I live, there may be some part of the library where you can make some noise, but most of it is silent by default. I wouldn’t be mad at a parent struggling with their fusy baby. I’m ultra sensible to noise, but I couldn’t put the blame on them. Sometime, a baby won’t stop crying. But it seemed that the mom didn’t gave any attention to their child and didn’t take any action. She could have taken the child with her outside a little bit to calm down the child without disturbing other people.
Just for people in College/Uni - Early on, I realized that I was not able to put the amount of focus/studying into the 5 courses I was taking, and dropped a class. After that, I felt like I was doing much better, and ended up doing 4 classes per year over 5 years, instead of 5 per year to finish in 4. I was able to cover the extra fees for the extra year, and it meant I came out of it with a better result over all. I also ended up changing my major going into second year, because I didn't enjoy English, and found my 1st year Communications course fascinating! Just because *most people* do things a certain way does not mean it's what's right for you. Don't be afraid to drop classes/change classes/change courses to find what's right!
Listening to this as a college student who’s currently recovering from mono, I just wanna say that Cristina’s tangent at the end about repeating courses and dealing with life getting in the way was really what I needed to hear right now. Thank you
The Crying baby in a Library, ya the OP is NTA. As someone with ADHD, a crying baby is a nightmare, when trying to concentrate. I wouldn't be able to read the test because my brain would be too busy trying to make more noise to block it out. The Mother was NOT actively trying to calm the baby, and that's a pretty AH thing to do. Everyone knows as a social norm Libraries are generally a place to be hush at. If the mother was unwilling to move to the bathroom to check if diapers were full, give a soother, or food to see if the baby is hungry, the mother is an AH. Why wouldn't you tend to your child, or even step outside to a bench out front or something. There are options for the mother. With your logic everyone annoyed should just leave the library? The library is for studying and reading, it's not a daycare.
Thank you so much for this podcast 🥺 I’m 27 years old and just started my first semester back at a community college after 7 years of having dropped out from university. I hated the career/corporation I had chosen to work for although I had great success with that opportunity it was not something I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. This video made me feel better about choosing to go back to school to further my education. Anyone else going back to school later in life I am proud of you 🥰
true but I feel like it’s just an unspoken rule to not brag about getting into a university bc it can be a sore subject. People all applying to the same schools and some of them getting denied, it causes hostility. I’ve seen it first hand in my graduating class. We were a pretty competitive class and most of us were applying to similar schools. I mentioned ONCE “I got into X school” and one of my classmates seemed bothered by this and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the school year 😭😭 I don’t think she’s an asshole I think she just needs to find her classmates on a Facebook group or something and talk to them about how excited they are to enter X school.
I understand it can be annoying, but like, she’s proud of herself! And she’s earned the right to be happy for herself. You can nicely say hey stop talking about it nonstop without trying to downplay her accomplishment
@@kianna270 that’s so dumb LMAOO. Let people be proud of themselves. Getting into university is a big accomplishment. Her family is dumb af if they think bragging about a huge life event is worth getting mad over.
@@kianna270 That classmate that didn't talk to you is an asshole, it's not your fault because you mentioned it once or even because you got in. It's not like you were rubbing it in their face you mentioned ONCE. You should be allowed to talk about it. And the sister in the post should be able to excitedly talk alot about it to her family
I just recently graduated from an online university and in my last course I encountered another student plagiarizing. This student often copied other discussion board posts (that replaces in person discussion) and would repost them but changing every other word with a synonym. I confronted the student and shared the plagiarism policy, the behavior never changed. I reported the student multiple times to the Professor and nothing changed. This university raved about their plagiarism policy constantly, but they didn’t act when someone actually broke it.
Listening to the intro made me relate too much… After I graduated college, I applied for my first “adult” job and when they did the background check, it came back I needed to verify my diploma because they couldn’t authenticate. I thought it was just because I had recently graduated that my diploma hadn’t mailed yet. However, when I called the university, my advisor DIDNT PROPERLY APPLY ME FOR GRADUATION. So the whole time it was a literal clerical error and I couldn’t get my diploma until I took a physical education course that no longer is valid (I had transfer credits). I was soooo upset. Luckily I was able to send a transcript and not lose my job, but wow talk about awkward.
My university’s main library has 5 floors, the first two are like social areas where you can talk and act normal and there’s a coffee shop, etc. then the 3rd+4th are quiet zones, like you can whisper and talk but quietly. The fifth floor is QUIET!!!! ZONE!!! Like if you even drop a pencil, people look at you Lol. I prefer the 4th floor bc it’s more quiet but people are still talking and there’s some noise. I just can’t do the completely quiet floor bc I’m a naturally clumsy person and I drop everything and ppp always look at me with that look of disappointment lmao.
I've been a mom with a screaming baby in the public library before. Public libraries often have children's programs and birthday parties in rented or rooms. I brought my toddler to the library for family story time and my 2 month old got hungry after about 30 minutes. It was 105 degrees outside so yeah the library is one of the only places to take my kids that's cool and free and safe for me to bring an infant. The biggest difference is after he started crying, we did put best to check out and go to the car where I could feed him. Maybe he was crying in the library for 20 minutes tops while I tried to soothe him and get my toddlers books checked out and get them out to the car. I was super uncomfortable having my baby scream in a library but it was in the children's section and we left when he wouldn't go back to sleep. I didn't have any work to do or studying so there wasn't any reason I had to stay so I dunno what was going on with that woman. I'd think most moms would at least be apologetic if confronted and would stay in the areas meant for kids. Who knows what the circumstances are but I feelboth that student and that mother were in the wrong areas of the library. All our local public libraries have quiet rooms you can reserve and open study rooms as well.
Though I thought the teacher's "reality check" take was not correct, Ben and Christine are right, nobody wants to fail a student. In high school I did the necessary homework just to pass, I thought grades and homework were dumb, it wasn't a good representation of a student's abilities. One time I had the end of a quarter date wrong, I didn't have enough time to get my history grade up. If I failed I wouldn't be allowed to go on a school trip that was already paid for, my teacher was very chill and allowed me to turn in a lot of pass homework. I don't think teachers enjoy failing students.
Right like I’m sure teachers/ professors don’t LIKE failing students but if it comes down to it, you don’t want a student who didn’t do anything to pass the class while students who kept on top of their work all semester didn’t get that same treatment, ya know? I think if they have a chance to raise their grade, you should help them but the teacher shouldn’t just pass a student just because they don’t want to fail them or for some other reason.
As a teacher when it comes to participation grades, especially in high school, I try to take into account a student's personality. If they are generally quiet and shy in the halls and not super talkative outside of class, I can see they are a shy person and not likely to participate a lot. Therefore I give them a better grade for what is maybe proportionally less participation. Meanwhile if a kid is super outgoing and talking all the time outside of class but then in the classroom they aren't talking, they won't get a good grade, because they clearly don't care. I also take into account note taking, do they look like they are paying attention. IMO it gets rid of the bias towards outgoing students participating more without making participation irrelevant. It's also not a huge percentage of the final grade anyway, so that it's more of just a boost for anyone who wants a better grade
My paralegal studies classes are all open-book because one of the skills a paralegal needs is the ability to find answers. Like if it’s a legal citation question, it’s more important that I know where to find the citation format in the bluebook than it is I memorize every citation…because I’m going to need to know what to do if I come across a citation I haven’t seen before at a real job.
As someone with misophonia I feel so bad for anyone in classes with the sneeze guy. I realize he can't control it but like, ugh. There used to be a kid in my school who every year got a cold and had the worst whooping cough every time and his parents would still send him to school. Felt bad for him cause he should have been home being that sick, but I also wanted to punch him and could not focus when he came in sick.
Hey! Just to weigh in on the Katie story, I think it's also important to not shelter a person from the nature of reality because of their past experiences or mental health. Of course I think it is important to be compassionate and approach the situation from a place of kindness! But to allow the behavior to continue despite the discomfort of the friend group isn't really doing Katie any favors for future situations where she may be met with rejection. 💜
Actually, there are studies that show that open book exams promote critical thinking and creative/unconventional info interpretation. I have an English lit degree and most of our open book exams were essay writing (literary analysis), so the notes acted as an outline and helped me structure my thoughts and analysis better. The majority of my classmates and friends believed so as well. 😊
People do wave their piece of paper around saying they graduated from Yale or whatever. It becomes their entire personality. House decorated with alumni merch, bumper stickers, license plate frames, all the school merch, every tie they wear are school colors, banners in their office with the school name, travel coffee mugs with the logo, the list goes on and on and on.
I agree when people make it like their personality it's annoying, but like your first year esp first semester at college is exciting and like idk it'll wear off lol
@@sophianotsofia first year is so different than being 55 and graduated for 30 years. Freshman get all the merch no matter what school they’re at bc it’s amazing and awesome to start this new chapter (:
Ben saying "alright" now reminds me of Safiya and I'm here for it. It's funny how we can pick up little phrases or mannerisms of others we hang out with!
I feel like I never made any real friends in college because I was always the "Katie" (as in, the random person trying to hang out with other groups of friends). So that whole conversation made me really sad.
It made me really angry tbh. I don't get why people can't just be semi-decent and talk empathetically with the other person to try to help instead of being rude and just avoidng someone. Being abandoned/turned down like that feels horrible, even if you don't know the people properly. I don't see why someone would feel such a strong urge to "run away" from someone who's just trying to make friends :/
@@TheGinaChan they already said she makes them uncomfortable and they have a choice on whether they wanna be friends with someone or not. I was a katie alll the way growing up and direct confrontation would be just as painful as avoidance and insinuation
I love how so much of your audience relates to your college content, and then there is I, a high school drop out, who’s still fit to be here cause I’m a NAIL TECH. 😂😂😂 Still it’s nice to see so many people embrace education thanks to you guys, I hope to one day have the opportunity to further mine 🤍
I had the worst roommate in college dorms. She lied on the intake form (stated non smoker, in bed before 10, quiet- she smoked, partied and was up till after 11) so that sucked. Then she would bring home random hook ups from the bar 3-5 days a week. It was the 2 beds in one room situation so that made me feel super unsafe! Especially after she passed out once and the guy tried to get into bed with me. I reported this to our advisors and it was determined because I was the one with the issue I had to pay to upgrade to a single room. It was a horrible 4 months
Once I let someone look at part of my homework at university, the teacher figured out that the other person's answer was similar and we both got half a grade, that's how I learned to keep my stuff to myself. After graduation I was tutoring some students and one of them wanted to pay me to write her essays and I terminated the tutoring. I was fine guiding her to write but her idea of writing was to paraphrase a whole Wikipedia entry and I didn't want to work with someone who is willing to cheat so blatantly.
A lot of my classes had open note exams bc it wasn’t about regurgitating facts but more about creating an argument using facts e.g. in a history class we could use our notes to create a compare/contrast paragraph for for short answer questions etc.
My first year of college I went out of state and lived in the dorms, I was very excited to have a roommate. For an entire semester, she would constantly buy food, keep it in her closet or in MY mini fridge until it was moldy and disgusting. One time I lied and said I was taking my fridge to get fixed but I just took it to my friend's dorm room and kept it there for a few weeks then brought it back to my room and hid it behind my dresser so she wouldn't keep her expired yogurt in it. There were gnats taking residence in the bag of apples she forgot in the back of her closet 😭 and she was never even there because she lived in the city the college was in so she never even experienced the consequences of her actions. I am never living with anyone ever again. Also it's impossible to believe 40 guys have "good intentions" with this type of information about women. Smdh 😂
The screaming baby discussion took me back to when my children were younger and we didn't have a car, and a lot of times when I got on the bus with three little ones to go into the city to visit my parents, the youngest, still a baby, would be really tired and start crying. I always felt really bad for the other people on the bus and wanted to tell them "she'll fall asleep as soon as the bus starts moving" which nearly always happened. They cry the most when they're about to fall asleep. Sigh. I'm sorry for the student in the library and sorry a solution wasn't found to accomodate both parties in that case.
I’m currently a 3rd year undergraduate and man do I relate to the first AITA! I I remember sitting in class senior year of high school and a classmate made the comment that the school I got into was just high school part two. It was so deflating in the moment, but here I am three years later having presented at two major conferences on two separate research projects as first author. So true about the school you attend in undergrads isn’t as important as some people make it out to be.
I almost got in trouble for plagiarism in college. I was an environmental science major and we were put it groups to develop a lab report together. I thought since we were in a group, we’d be responsible for writing a portion of the report and then putting it all together for the final document. Well. I did not find out until turning it in that that was not the case. My prof was ready to fail us all for plagiarism. I said please do not fail everyone, just fail me. I was the only one that didn’t ‘reword’ their report to after reviewing the other group members portion. I still stand by this that it’s total bullshit. I’ve been in the work force for almost 10 years and that’s not how shit gets done
As a high school teacher myself, I feel that the chem teacher did everything she could to ensure that Levi had opportunities to pass. Judging from the fact that they described parent meetings and counselor meetings, the student knew what was going on. Maybe the words are harsh, but the reality check is valid.
as response to current open book exams: well, last few years some exams were fully digitals anyways, so yes you could ctrl F in your open book files. Also before the panini I have had exams on laptops (but in an examination hall) and thats fine. There is software to check whether you are not using the internet or chatting. Sometimes I even had to hand in a screen recording as well, to show Im not doing anything malliscious. But yes, open laptop exams are very much a thing
That chemistry teacher is amazing, goes above and beyond, and just proves that it doesn't matter how hard teachers try, there is always one family that will be angry with them over their child. Some parents refuse to accept that their child isn't trying and refuse to ever hold their children responsible. They're the first to point out what other parents should do with their kids, yet never do it with their own. As someone who works in a school, I am blown away by how much that chemistry teacher tried and it was a simple case of a kid not caring and assuming the teacher would bail him out at the end. Sorry bud, life doesn't work that way!
Me, a Katie… also a 20 year old university junior with few friends and severe social anxiety… the Katie story is exactly what I think others think and that’s why I don’t really make friends…
I've been out of school for almost 8 years now and I still get these dreams where I'm completely PANICKED because I forgot about an assignment or slept in for an exam and missed it. I thought it was so strange, but glad to know I'm not the only one 😂
When I was in high school, I was top of my class and a very well rounded and responsible student. Despite this, my parents told me I wouldn't be able to "make it on my own" and told me I couldn't go to a four year university and would have to stay at our community college (disclaimer: I have NO issues with community college. It's just my college did not have the degree path I desired, and it would have set me back two whole years on my professional progress since the degree I wanted to pursue was fully loaded each year). So, I worked my butt off to get into my state's four year university and get a scholarship for it. When I got my acceptance letter to the college, I told my friends because I was super excited. One of my friends said "yeah, they let anyone with a pulse into that school" and basically made me feel like crap for an accomplishment that literally meant me having freedom and control over my own education. There is NO reason to make someone feel bad for being excited to get into college/university/trade school. If someone is making a decision for their life that they are excited about, that should be uplifted and celebrated!
26:00 we had an open-book exam during covid times that we took at home via zoom. everyone had to "promise" to just look at skripts and other course work because they couldnt really check if we'd use google or something🤣
Regarding the story of Katie and the other people--they mention she doesn't pick up on cues of them not wanting to hang out, and that she dominates conversations and talks about sensitive things. Could she possibly be on the spectrum, if that's the case? It wouldn't really change things, but it could offer a reason why she's "unpleasant to be around"
For the university story…. There definitely are ideas or beliefs about different universities in Canada, though it’s not to the same league as in the US. I remember an old rhyme people used to say “If you can walk and talk you can go to *****” I think it’s shitty because either people choose a school for a lot of really important reasons to them - which makes it shitty to put them down about going there. OR they choose a school because it’s the only one they could get into… in which case it’s also shitty to put them down. Everyone going to university is trying to get educated and better their life and they deserve kudos for that.
That happened to my dad. They let him walk but they withheld his diploma until he paid the loan for tuition that he got from the school. 7 years later he had paid it off and went for his diploma. They told him they couldn't give it to him because they just realized that he didn't take all the classes. So he had to go back and take a class. This was before records were on the computer.
It’s a library. Not a hang out noisy spot. She might have come across as rude or uncaring but I def agree that the baby had to go. Also not sure about Canada but I’ve personally never been in a public library that had multiple floors. And I’ve lived in a few different states. I wish we had multiple floors that sounds awesome
Having had experience in recruiting there is massive amounts of discrimination when it comes to hiring from brand name schools and non-brand name schools. Ivy League and prestigious uni education carries a lot of weight (which I think is unfair) even for candidates that might be under qualified. Basically to most corporations brand name of school and masters matters more than anything else in education (in my experience)
So, my husband has the LOUDEST sneezes I have ever heard. Like, rattling the windows, scaring our cats, waking me up if I'm sleeping, loud sneezes. I have asked him many many many times to try and quiet his sneezes, and there is nothing he can do to quiet them down. He's tried sneezing into his elbow, sneezing into tissues/handkerchiefs, holding them in and nothing works. He is just a loud sneezer. So there are people out there who do not have control over their sneezing, and I think the AITA you read is one of those people. However! There are definitely people in this world who would sneeze loudly and not try and quiet it down or would try to get their sneeze on other people because they're just A-holes.
I’m from Europe and I’ve never heard of schools starting before September, it’s actually pretty common for universities to start much later than that, my university for example starts in the middle of October
hi cristine! i’ve been watching ur videos since i was 11, and every time u post i am always tuned in. i love ur podcast so much, i’ve been watching it ever since the first one released a few years back! just felt like sharing my support, mostly because you and ben always cheer me up and make my day. thank you guys for creating the best content ever 😋💖💖💖
Cris, I really needed to hear your last thoughts. I'm 30 and in uni for the first time and this is my 3rd semester and I'm about to fail my first class and I feel horrible. Thanks for giving your perspective and admitted you retook courses too ❤️
I’ve seen a lot of comments from people saying they were the Katie at their school. I was also a Katie in my middle school (floating around, wanting real friends)…I wish we all had each other as friends growing up so we wouldn’t feel so alone ❤ Katies unite!!
In regards to the last post, I live in a small town that has a community college. The college shares the library with the public. There are 6 rooms for quiet use but are limited for 1 hour. There is no technical place for most students to take tests but the library.
im surprised to hear how different the grading system is in the us/canadian university. i go to university in germany, and 100% if my grade depends on my final
@@franzessie9697 hm, maybe it depends on what you study? i study computer science and know that my friends in other stem fields, also only have one exam
Well I wouldn’t say that, because every class and university is different. For example med schools in America usually go off a PASS/FAIL type grading system so there’s really no grades, you just pass or fail. But most university classes can be either or. I had a genetics class where your only grades were the exams and you HAD to do good on the exam to pass. And other classes had more cushion room with assignments or projects. Like when I took biology 2, tests were like half our grade while projects we did were another half. And once I took a research class and your whole grade depended on submitting weekly updates on your research. It really depends on the class/ professor.
Thanks for that pep talk at the end ❤️ I’m currently going through finals week and it’s looking like I’m going to need to retake a class I need for my future career and I was feeling so ashamed to have to retake it. I haven’t given up and am definitely doing the best I can. I am trying to constantly remind myself of the benefits of retaking it. I’ll be okay and I will eventually pass 👍🏽 thank you again guys, I appreciate it 😊
As someone who just finished first year through the chaos of online and offline classes and while being absolutely terrified of having to repeat classes - the end really helped! loved the pod , it was super fun
on the topic of open books - i got my masters degree in Denmark - and here open books mean you have access to everything except comunicating with others. Nearly all exams i have had since high school have been digital (written on computer and uplodeaded on a specific site) - they were meant to test students on critical thinking and how we process information (in uni i had mostly 24 or 48 hour exams and a few 1 week exams)
I used to teach intro classes in college. I let my students bring a note card in to help on exams and gave a couple bonus points for handing over their cards. The act of making the card was forcing the students to study and prioritize what to include and also made the act of cheating pointless since they were allowed to bring in notes. One of the best decisions I ever made as a prof.
I wish I had a teacher like Levi. The teacher did make an effort to get him help and spoke with his Mom repeatedly. Teachers can only do so much and he isn't the only student for which they are responsible.
"Teachers shouldn't be the ones raising their students and I think unfortunately they often do" As a teacher, this is so true and quite sad and even stressful. It's been even downright depressing how some of my students even verbally express that their parents don't pay attention to them, and in general very taxing to us as teachers and the rest of the class how some students will ask for attention in ways that affect others (like hitting their classmates, bullying, getting into fights, crying constantly, etc). And there are also children that were raised without any limits or consequences and have to adjust to a different reality altogether, and again, it's quite tough not only to teachers but the whole class. As much as we want to help our students, we cannot and should not be fulfilling the role of a parent. It's just a sad reality that's ever constantly present, and at the end of the day there's a limit to what one can do as a teacher too. Thank you for acknowledging that.
VERY HOT TAKE on cheating. I don’t think you should ever be expelled for cheating once. I believe in rehabilitation rather than punitive justice. I think there’s a way to force such deviant students to take a seperate course on plagiarism and re-do the course. But everyone should be allowed to have good college education, regardless if they cheated once or not. If caught more than once, then we need to talk about therapy and probably suspending them for a year or two. I strongly strongly oppose anyone proposing punitive justice for something as trivial as cheating. I think there’s better ways of maintaining academic integrity than destroying someone’s education. Denying education systemically is one of the most inhumane and unacceptable immoral act. It condemns people to a lower income bracket, by the way of how the system is designed.
For the first one regarding mid tier colleges. I got into a US medical school from a "mid-tier" US college. I believe it's about a 70% acceptance rate but I went there because it looked like a pretty school. Despite it not being Harvard or some Ivy league, my friend, my bf, and myself all got into medical school from our mid-tier college. Even throughout med school, my classmates didn't come from ivy leagues either. In my experience it mattered more your degree, your grades, your work experience, etc than which specific school you went to.
The poll is up on the community page! Thank you everyone who reminded me th-cam.com/users/simplypodlogicalcommunity
When women make an index of guys at their university, it's usually one to warn each other about predators. That one of the guy creating a "pokedex" was NOT doing for that reason.
Do they really not realize how dangerous it is? How it would make it that much easier for an abuser to manipulate.
Tell me that you see women as objects without telling me that you see women as objects… the pokedex thing is so depressing and dehumanizing
Even the reason they gave is awful. Imagine trying to over ride the filters a woman might have around her space by faking an interest in her you don't (can't) really have.
@@Aisha_Luv Right? OP might not use it for bad, but one bad guy in the group he's sharing this list of women with can use it to stalk women
the only good thing about this list was we weren't compared to objects this time, so I guess that's like .5% better than usual. But seriously, who does that? Creepy af and manipulative.
Here's how you find out all that information you can get on the spreadsheet. TALK TO HER.
for the “pokédex” one, even if the guy who initially made it doesn’t use it for “nefarious reasons”, it’s still weird, first of all, but it’s also extremely naive to assume it’s not being used in ulterior ways ESPECIALLY when its shared between around 40 FRAT guys
And even if it wasn't about sex, they still treat women like they are pieces of a game and not real people.
@@elsaamanda5999 this is the exact thing that I was thinking it’s gross.
Yup. But it’s hard to believe it wasn’t started for nefarious reasons tbh.
The only way it would be OK was if they were saying so and so is this Pokémon or that. But that was not the case lol. Frats are weird.
@@pineapplepapercrafts yea and if they included literally everyone men and women with their consent not this creepy shit
waking someone up is awkward if you're not super friendly with them. I actually had a VERY similar experience with a roommate in college where I knew she had a 9am exam and she wasnt up at 8.15. I set an extremely loud alarm to go off 5 minutes after I left at 8.20. That way, it woke her up and I could just apologize for accidentally "forgetting" my alarm if they got mad. It woke her up and we had a laugh about the "lucky accident" that helped her get to her exam on time. I never told her I did it on purpose lol.
This is an extremely clever way of waking someone up and perfect for college situations. This made me laugh when u admitted u didn’t tell her it was on purpose 🤣🤣
You're a good person!
Genius solution to the problem ✨
I did something similar too - roommate had an earlier exam than I did, I got up to get ready (about 20 mins before her exam started) and she wasn't up, but I didn't know if her exam was online or something so I didn't want to wake her up. so I just got ready a little louder than usual, banged around some plates while making breakfast, and she ended up waking up before her exam started. she didn't make it on time because she drove over a curb and popped her tire on the way to the exam (and then had to wait for AAA) but at least she was up
@@megxxns2657 omg this made me laugh LOL at least she had a valid excuse for not making it
I just want to appreciate how cristine wears clothes that match the theme of the podcast/stream. It's so cute haha.
thank u for noticing😂
The attention to detail 👌🏽
Detail oriented to the max hahah 🥰🥰
Yes, and the twitch/ TH-cam one Ben was in on it too! ❤️💜
I am a mom. Personally, I would not stay in a library with my screaming baby. I would feel awful subjecting people to what is one of the most grating sounds in the world in an environment that is supposed to be somewhat quiet. However, the mother's response tells me that she may be on the verge of a breakdown over the relentless crying of her baby. Her not even attempting to soothe the baby may point to a baby who will not be soothed. I have known people with babies who never stop crying. It will steal your sanity. I feel bad for the mom, but I also feel it's unreasonable to expect library patrons to listen to a crying baby for an hour.
My new neighbors should be more like you... They have twin boys who keep yelling in the echoey stairs room and they don't do anything about it. The other day the mother had one of them screaming on her doorstep and I'm like "can you please at least have him screaming *inside* with the door *closed*?" and she was like "you say that again when you have children of your own" and I was like "lol this is exactly the reason why I'm never going to have kids".
AITA for requesting this of her? I feel like it should be a common courtesy to not subject your neighbors to the grating screaming of your children, and it's not like I asked her to lock them in a closet or plaster their mouth. I merely asked her to take him a meter back and close the door lol
@@Thenoobestgirl
Maybe just report her to CPS, I have a son that could scream bloody murder for no end. And I always felt MORTIFIED anyone could hear him, so I would do anything to try and soothe him, especially if we were out in public.
@@ceciliatapioca do not wantonly suggest someone call CPS on a family just because they have rowdy children. Do you not realize the potential consequences, beyond the invasion of privacy?
@@alexey5481 -i would call CPS if I thought the child and/or mother was in a bad position.... such as hanging out in a library as if she had no where else to go with her screaming child. Clearly she needs help. CPS is not the police they help people, even if the pride of the parents might get hurt.
My youngest cried for first 2 months of her life. Turned out she wanted to be a tummy sleeper which any parent can't tell you goes completely against all recommendations for safe sleeping for your baby so I spent the next two months sleeping next to her bed barely sleeping. It was the worst 4 months I've ever had. We had to keep sending my other 2 kids to grand parents so they could get some sleep and my hubby and I took turns sleeping because she wouldn't sleep for more than 15mins at a time. It was awful and she was constantly crying and people would look at me like I was neglecting her when really there was nothing I could do for her and I needed to put her in her pram because my back hurt from carrying her the last 2 hours
The one with the young sibling strikes a theory in me:
The sister keeps bringing her college plans up because no one will celebrate with her. The family is sick of hearing about it and withholds communication or approval which makes her fight harder for approval and annoys them further. That why even though what he said wasn't that bad, the intent to shut her up was heartless and she was super upset. I hope she had friends to celebrate with. I bet she'll love being away from home.
This exactly!! And honestly on the families side, even if you ARE annoyed about your daughter being proud of her achievement, she'll be on campus the next semester. At least fake your investment until then. There was no need for the brother to be so cruel and for the mother to endorse it.
And even if she was being annoying, I understand the response from the brother, but the parents… OUCH
I thought the same because something similar happened to me. When my brother got in college, everyone celebrated him, like I remember my mom screaming in joy and jumping hugging him because of how proud she was. Everyone would talk about it, and I remember being slightly jealous of him, but I never did anything bad. Although years later, affected me more, because when I got in college, nobody celebrated me, heck, took my mom years to even know what I was studying, and whenever she would talk about it to other people she would roll her eyes when saying it
@@kili_liniani_3768 I’m so sorry you went through that, sending you a hug through the screen. 🥰
Imagine growing up and asking your dad "How did you meet mom?" and having as an answer "Well, kid, I stalked her and kept a spreadsheet about her"
Public librarian of 10+ years here- in my experience, most librarians handle noise complaints (patron complaints, period) with as much sensitivity and decorum as we can. That being said, even in public libraries- which have become more like centers for community engagement & resources than ultra-strict, old-school “shushing” environments- there still exists a reasonable expectation for other patrons (and library staff) to not be subjected to sustained yelling, screaming, etc. Kids cry- we get that, and at my library, we’ll even bring over busy bags and educational activities to help distract/calm crying children. If it continues even after gentle intervention, most library staff will suggest some cooldown time outside the library, and that the parent try bringing the child back once they’ve had a chance to calm down. If I had to guess, the apparent harshness from the librarian here wasn’t in reaction to the child crying, but to the parent’s completely inappropriate screaming. Verbal abuse towards anyone- other patrons and library staff- is never OK and is rarely tolerated for the safety of everyone in the library. Just adding some professional perspective- LOVE the podcast/Holo Taco!
yeah at least calm the kid outside. thats what i did as a big sister in all situations i brought my siblings in and it made people feel uncomfortable. and im sorry to say that but i just thought "this would annoy me" and i was 13-18 in those situations. now im 26 and my mind still hasnt changed and i do the same with my niece
My only thought on the baby one is the length of time in which the baby was crying. I completely understand an unsoothable child but after like ten minutes, in a library at that, that she didn’t take the baby into the bathroom or outside for some air and soothe them there? After a certain amount of time in any space, that would get irritating. If this was a plane or somewhere she couldn’t escape from it would be a different story.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. If it was a full hour there is something else here. Regardless of the reason, you’d think that person would understand they are in a place where being quiet is the normal and have tried to move elsewhere.
Conpletely agree, that was a crazy amount of time. Like if you took a baby to a movie theater and it started crying and wouldn't stop it would be inconsiderate not to leave and be back untill it calmed down.
I thought about that too, I don't now lot about babies, but like, didn't they cry, when they have some problem? Like I'm not that great with them, but I had times looking after some of my friend's/family's , and even I'm able to figure it out in 15-20 mins, lol.
I am assuming the poster is exaggerating about the length of time.
@@Deneph agreed. It’s highly unlikely a baby was crying loudly for an hour straight.
31:09 I can confirm it is super creepy! I was unfortunately a victim of harassment in middle school and it got to a point where a ton of strangers knew details about me. Kids I had never met in my life would walk up to me and tell me my full name, my extracurricular activities and where and when I did them, etc., etc. It was actually terrifying. To be honest, my fear that I'm being followed, or that someone is listening to my conversations, remains. At the time I even had an irrational fear that people could hear my thoughts, and it was seriously debilitating.
The story about the failing grade is so frustrating. OP says they gave the kid lots of opportunities to do homework or extra credit, and that they had multiple parent/teacher meetings to keep the kid's mom aware. It might have been better for the teacher to just say to the kid, "You had lots of chances to improve your grade through the semester, what happens now is what you chose." But for the kid's mom to claim they didn't "invest more in Levi," that's so annoying and entitled. Especially when a teacher has tried to make the class as simple and low-stress as possible.
ALSO as a librarian, the last story irritated me from the policy standpoint. If the library staff talked to the mom multiple times and she still didn't make any attempt to do anything about the baby crying, they can ask her to leave. It's a conduct disruption, unless the mom and baby were in a children's section where there is a reasonable expectation of kid noise. OP shouldn't have approached the mom directly.
+1 to what you said about the failing grade thing. It's hard to know without knowing the people involved, but for the way it's described, not only the kid wasn't making any effort, but he also was surrounded by adults enabling that kind of attitude and behaviour to the point of blaming the teacher for 'failing' the student instead of acknowledging the kid's responsibility over his results. One of the many reasons I could never be a teacher is because I would hatehatehate dealing with parents like those on a regular basis.
@@hozepheena yup. I was considering becoming a teacher a few years ago and I worked in an afternoon care for pre school students. Most parents were nice and understanding, but those few parents who never saw any bad behaviour in their kid were the most annoying people.
Especially true when the teacher has at least 25 other kids to worry about (per class even) ive fallen behind in high school and my teachers always made me aware of it very early on and I'd feel so bad for potentially letting them down when they really were trying their best to teach me
I was coming down here to say this too. Not only does it sound like Levi and his parents have been made aware of his grade and still nothing has changed, but now they're mad he's failing? It sounds like they just want Levi to pass just because. Also this won't (potentially) ruin him graduating. Retake grade 11 chemistry 1st semester of grade 12 and then do the next chem class in the next semester. Also the fact that this teacher is trying her best with this student shows how good of a teacher she is. Especially since she probably has close to 100 students who also need her attention.
@@hozepheena
RIGHT?? My petty ass would respond to that e-mail saying “I’m sorry you didn’t invest more time raising up your child and teaching him the importance of responsibility and that there are consequences to your actions.”
Damn, the "Katie" question hit hard because I was a Katie multiple times in middle and high school.
I always felt left out and never had a group of friends I knew would welcome me to sit with them at lunch. I would try to make friends, but I could always tell these groups were just being polite out of pity. I would've left them alone but I didn't have any other friends I could go to instead. I thought maybe I could show them more of my personality and somehow win them over in time, but it never happened. Eventually, the group I was trying to be part of would go out of their way somehow to segregate themselves from me (changing lunch periods, always gathering at the house of the friend who lived far away from me, ect.)
I was suffering from severe OCD and depression at the time, so in hindsight I can understand why people didn't want me around. But still, thinking about those times hurts.
Same! I think I also was a Katie
I am sending love to anyone who has ever felt actively excluded at any age. 🥰
I was also a Katie in middle school, floating around & never having a real group of friends that actually liked having me around. I’ve seen a few people comment that they were the Katie at their school…I wish we all had each other to be friends with growing up 😂❤
Anyone relating to Katie in that story might be autistic. It’s certainly very similar to what a lot of autistic people experience, myself included. My only tip is to find other autistic people to socialize with, since you’ll likely have similar socialization styles.
Which story is the Katie one? I feel like I'm missing something
The issue with Katie's story here imo is that they waited three years. They're implying that they were vague about their wants for three years, and could clearly tell she wasn't getting the message, and now want to tell her it's not working. It's going to be heartbreaking for her. Yes confrontation is scary, but realising you've been unwanted by people you thought were your friends for three years is mortifying. They could have saved her a lot of pain by being honest a long time ago.
If they already put up with it for 3 years they can put up with it for one more year haha. You don’t have to stay friends after college. One of them needs to talk to her one on one and offer to get her help to talk about her issues-like getting her an appointment with a guidance councillor. Explain to her that those topics are too heavy for dinner/hanging out casually with friends
I know i might be reading too much or projecting but Katie sounds Autistic(? Someone who cant read social cues and probably has some weird interests she can't stop talking about, so yeah, they should have deffinetly told her directly and sooner
I agree you have to be upfront about those sorts of things
Plot twist? Katie is just a sociology and psychology student conducting a social experiment to see how long it takes for someone to tell a stranger to leave their friend group??
hmmm. the ethics tho?!?
She's incredibly dedicated to her craft
Katie has learned more about the human condition than Freud
Glad to know the “forgot an assignment” high school nightmares never go away 😂
i have nightmares to this day that I forgot to attend entire courses for whole semesters.
I would have had a 94% in my first year French course had I remembered about this one assignment 10 minutes earlier… it was pain. Still got an 89%, but ugh, frustrated by myself sometimes.
My mom still has dreams about math exams. She is almost 60🤣
I graduated college 3 years ago and I still have dreams that it's the day of the final and I haven't gone to class all semester
Same, I've graduated from university already but still have dreams where I can't graduate because I somehow forgot about a class for the whole semester.
The pokemon one is fuckedddd that's so gross. I have memory loss so I need to write down some stuff too, but it's worse when it's frat dudes doing it for sorority girls just knowing how to make yourself attractive to them, like be yourself? Gross. Even if it's not about sex, it's super manipulative, it's fake, creepy. I bet 100% if they were themselves, the girls would likely not be interested, and you're forcing them to be interested by pretending to be interested in what they like and do.
I also have problems with memory, and while I might have to write down a person's name and describe to myself what they look like, it would never go further than that. What really makes this guy worse is that he decided to share it with other guys. You just don't do that, regardless of any circumstances. Also, what happened to following people on social media? Is that not enough of a tracker of public info anymore?
and like its one thing if its just a couple random things from a few people, but specifically with girls, specifically to know what to talk to them on dates about (didnt realize fav color was a hot topic). The guy is either faking being that innocent or is just otherwise socially inept. but the fact that he notes "it wasnt for bad reasons" makes me thing its the former.
I went back to the first post and turns out the sister got into McGill, which is a great school even outside of Canada, the brother is probably just immature and jealous but the parents are insane for thinking their daughter is annoying for mentioning she got into McGill
Truly! McGill is really well known in the States for being a great school. it sounds like these parents are attributing completely wrong intentions to a child who just wants them to share her excitement and pride. How mean! You are her parents, you SHOULD be proud of your daughter's achievement. I hope she finds some friends at McGill that can give her the excitement and support she probably desperately needs.
Yeah McGill is a great school!! I thought about going there for grad school
The baby one I completely agree with reddit, the op was not an asswhole at all. And my opinion is based on the op saying the mom didn't try to soothe the baby. The point Cristine made about the mom maybe not having another option to leave the baby and study was super valid but I always assume that a library is a place people are quiet unless told otherwise. A baby crying it's normal but the mom can attend to the and try and soothe them, as per the op's description the mom didn't even try and I think for that they were right to get the mom out of there bc she clearly didn't care for anyone else's experience in that public place where you expect quietness most of the time.
I have always been the "Katie" and it's really hard. Now that I'm older, I can tell when people don't like me, but when I was younger, I never could tell and would cling to whoever would keep me around. I realize now I'm not the problem, that it is just one of those things where certain people just don't click with certain people. Just be upfront! Tell Katie. It will cause less pain imo.
Yo same. You on the spectrum too by any chance? I found all her traits so painfully reminiscent of my younger self. Just trynna... make fren. Follow people, try to engage, make them awkward, not pick up on cues whatsoever.
@@moxxiemaximus I am too and I noticed similar traits and experiences to myself.
Hope Katie finds her people!
I haven't been the Katie personally, but the idea of this girl thinking these people were her friends and after *3 years* be told they don't like her, that they've never had. It breaks my heart, I can't fathom how painful that would be, if I even imagine my friends telling me something like that it would break my heart. I feel so bad for Katie. And I know these people are not trying to be mean, but waiting 3 years to tell someone you don't click with them, those are 3 years of friendship that have become a lie to Katie. They even said Katie doesn't have other friends, It's way kinder to tell Katie right at the start if something bothers you so they can decide if its something in their behavior that needs to change or just find new friends; after 3 years at college a lot of friend groups are pretty much consolidated and it's much harder for a new person to join the dynamic. I hope Katie finds the right group of people for her.
no you being you is not the issue but you also lack of social intelligence. depending of the culture and the education it can be hard to tell people off especially for some people. in france you would have been excluded more openly i assume.
but if the med student was doing an exam she couldn't just get up and move to a different computer, the progress might be lost or the link only works once. at least that would be the case normally for an online exam. ideally the student would have headphones with them, but it also is unreasonable that the child was crying for an hour in a library and the mother didn't do anything about it, like taking it outside or to a bathroom or smth
I’m an autistic adult and I was often Katie in life. I’ve grown and do have friends now but often times, those “cues” don’t get through to autistic people. You have to be explicit with boundaries. It may feel harsh but it can be done in a way that isn’t mean. It’s appreciated because it cues us into what you are saying nonverbally.
That roommate getting mad at her bc she didn't wake up for her exam set me off! I would have told her, "I'm not your mother, you're a grown woman, you are responsible for yourself!" It's literall projection of her own failure.
Agreed! Also... They didn't ask to be checked on.
What we usually do is tell each other. Please if I'm not awake at 7am please knock on my door.
Otherwise everyone does their own thing. At the end of the day you are an adult... You may need to kinda find what works for you
Absolutely!! I responded this in another comment, but why is a college student demanding a peer to parent them, baffles me.
For the story regarding the crying baby in the library, I was always told you need to keep the noise down to a minimum or in very low voice. You never walk into a library and yell across the floor or people talk at regular decibel like at at a restaurant where the noise level will remain high because so many conversations are going on and trying to be heard over others. Even if there with a study group you keep your voices lower as to not disturb the people at the next table. Or would it be ok to have a full fledged phone conversation at the library. I would think you’d walk outside or over to another area. So the same should be said of the baby. And as reference I’m a parent and would feel mortified that everyone could here my baby crying it’s head off, regardless of location, I’d exclude myself and go somewhere else until they calm down. It’s about being courteous to others around you. However, I think she got herself kicked out for starting an argument and calling that other person a name.
I think Ben's point about the possibility that the lady didn't have any other option is worth considering. I mean, take the most extreme case: if she didn't have a home / safe place to go. Many smaller towns don't have many public spaces besides libraries where you could go to warm up during winter or cool down during summer. Of course, hopefully as a society we focus on providing more emergency shelters and crisis centers etc, but the reality is that if it were freezing cold outside and she had no where to go, I can see why she would stay in the library even with a crying baby. Who knows, maybe she needed the public computer to apply to jobs or search the internet for other places to go. The fact that she snapped might show that she's under a ton of stress
@@13cathie emergency shelters still make you leave for the daytime, to save money on staffing. They kick you out right after breakfast and chores and you aren't allowed back inside until dinner prep time, no matter the weather, in most cities. I can definitely picture a newly homeless mother, without resources, sitting there in a daze not having the option of fixing whatever is causing her baby to cry (no money for diapers, too physically exhausted to walk/rock, doesn't know where to go for help yet, etc) and while obviously we have no way to know whether that's true, it definitely would have been my first guess as to what's going on. I really hope that the librarian acted that way because they had already checked and that wasn't the case, because it would be tragic if they were kicking her out into the weather without considering that possibility and offering the help that most librarians are happy to provide (info on where to get resources for babies, places to go that are safe, or even just a few kind words that will give her the strength to come back into herself and take care of herself and her baby)
But in the end, it’s about removing yourself from the common area, closer to the door, bathroom, entry hallway, etc until you can calm the baby down. So not to disturb everyone.
@Brenda B and when you're homeless living in a shelter, your legs are exhausted from walking everywhere, possibly upwards of an hour just to get to your nearest public library, so going to go stand elsewhere for hours isn't always an option. Also, not all libraries have a place that is away from the "common area" in which customers are allowed to go. You can't just sit in the bathroom with your baby for the 6-8 hours the shelter kicks you out for. Humans aren't even built to sit on a toilet for longer than a few minutes, let alone hours, they're too narrow, and people need them to actually, you know, use the toilet? Not just sit in an isolation room with their baby?
If you don't want to be friends with Katie why fake it for three years? They should have made it clear freshmen year so she could have found new friends when everyone is making new friends. Now they've waited so long its going to be even more hurtful.
Who else is kind of happy for Cristine and Ben that they've relaxed enough now to not filter their language? So many "fuck bombs" and honestly, I'm here for that fucking energy. 😂
I do like some light swearing. Not to where it is every sentence or hateful, just helps you express yourself in a way non swear words cant
I am, it feels like a very natural conversation
To answer Simply's question about open book exams nowadays, I had electronic open note exams in uni and we were allowed to upload 1 pdf file of our notes to our school website and during the exam download that pdf onto a school computer for reference. Basically I could Ctrl+F my way through a 300 page pdf during the exam. However it was an analysis course so the exam was about problem solving rather than memorization so having access to the information didnt mean that we didnt study.
I loved Ben saying "alright" with a very Safia like delivery after the first submission was discussed. 😄
I have a coworker who sneezes and it sounds like a puppy dog bark and it is so loud. We all now just sing "who let dogs out woof woof" when she sneezes. We love her and would never tell her to hush the sneeze.
Dude with the "pokedex" really ticked me off. He got what he had coming to him.
It's like they thought real life is like a dating sim where you have info on people so you don't get confused about the stats of all the girls you are juggling. and to make it available to like 40 people as well? disgusting.
Love Cristine's advice at the end of the podcast! I went away to college at 16 but my personal life during my late teens and 20s was so unstable that I failed out of college the first time AND second time I went. It took a long time for me to forgive myself and get over that shame. I finally completed my bachelor's degree a few years ago, in my 30s, and redoing classes and actually learning what I had wanted to learn all along felt so good and healing. Now I have a master's degree and a great job, but it took me forgiving myself to get there :)
Blaming the teacher for failing a class is just plain cruel unless a large percentage of your peers are also failing due to poor teaching. I had to retake organic chemistry but I’d never blame the professor for my poor grade.
Yes exactly. I’ll take responsibility if I’m not doing my work but once in high school I had the worst ap chem teacher. They couldn’t find someone to fill the role bc the previous ap chem teacher (who also taught me chemistry honors before I took ap chem) went onto a research firm job instead of teaching. They put a random biology teacher in the role of ap chem teacher and she could NOT teach that class at ALL. Literally one time, we all got like 50 on a quiz. Our class was only 11 students lol, so we all studied together and were CONFIDENT on our answers. We looked into it and the teacher had graded the assignment wrong!!!! She graded answers that were correct as wrong. We took it to admin and they started sitting in on her class and making her follow more AP teaching styles bc she was just WINGING it the whole time. We all ended up failing the AP exam and most of us all ended with a B or C. Literally the worst class I ever had to take. She could not teach that class and she wasted a LOT of time. She soent like two whole months going over honors chem work when we should have only focused on that for two weeks before moving onto the AP material. It was such a mess.
@@kianna270 Geez that sounds like a nightmare! I had a horrible World History teacher in high school so I share your pain.
Very true. Or if they’re clearly teaching poorly. I had a geometry teacher who told us our test would be on a certain thing, so I went home and studied for hours. Math was the only class I struggled with and it gave me anxiety even going into her classroom. Then we start the test and it was on *nothing* we studied. She said we should have been prepared anyway. I’ll never forget that shit lol
Ben, I'm 45 years old, and I still have the occasional dream that I find out that I failed one class in high school and didn't really graduate.
Oh god, so I guess I’ll always have those nightmares too 😭. Good to know haha
I never know my school schedule in my dreams and I'm 32😅
In my early 30's and I have dreams of where I'm late for class and my locker won't open and when it does all my books are gone. Dreams like that are never going to end.
I‘m late to this discussion but I’m also 30 and have regular dreams that I after all did fail maths and have to go back to school now.
just in case you didn't know this but UK Universities aren't actually easier to get into. You're just more likely to get into one because they have a quota of the amount of exchange/foreign students to take on becasue they can charge foreign students thousands upon thousands of pounds more than they can charge local residents
the first post actually made me so angry. even if the sister is being a bit much, shes obviously SO excited and proud of her achievement, and that is soso important. as someone who was never confident in school and didnt feel that i would ever get anywhere (school completely ruined my self confidence in so many ways), it makes me so upset seeing someone shitting on someone who actually feels really good about themselves. i really hope that situation didnt pop her bubble, bc she definitely deserves to be as excited and proud as she is.
that being said, im more frustrated with the mother because she should know better. and the brother clearly learned this type of behavior and attitude from the mother, based on her reaction.
I understand how you feel, like it may be a lil annoying but I'd rather have a sibling who gets too excited compared to one who always thinks they're never good enough, and feel like they can't celebrate their achievements.
Yeah that first post really gave me "women shouldn't be proud or excited about their accomplishments" vibes from the mom.
i knew someone who had the whole “slept through exam and failed their exam” thing
the difference though, which absolutely warranted an asshole verdict was that the roommate turned the other person’s alarm off. i heard this story secondhand from the jilted party perspective but from the information ive been given is that person A was sleeping through an alarm clock that was still in the process of going off and person B turned their alarm off without attempting to wake them up and then left…
Damn that’s an absolute asshole move
Oh no that would piss me the hell off
As an aspiring teacher (currently in my second year of college), I think that making most of the grade based on homework and participation is better than mostly based on tests. This is showing students that in life you are rewarded and more successful if you put in daily/weekly work into a certain area. You will see progress more by working every week on something than just a one time. Kind of like working out or learning a language.
i understand the idea behind it but a final exam is more fair coz life gets in the way and we don't learn the same way. i find it more efficient to binge learn a subject as my brain like going from a to z and not a to f and come back for more later (less confusion for me). i do know i am not in majority though.
I feel badly for Katie. I’ve been bullied by people that I thought were my friends in grade school (told to go hang out with other people and teased afterwards) and it sits with you for quite awhile. I’ve always had issues making friends and worry that I over share too much sometimes. I agree with Cristine’s recommendation of maybe trying to see if there’s other acquaintances or people that may connect more with Katie. Hopefully Katie finds her people ❤️
what cristine didn't understand about the student taking the exam at the public library, was that she wouldn't have been able to change computers after starting the exam. she mentioned that the exam was already pre-timed, and if she logged out, it would have been an instant fail since she wouldn't be able to log back in to continue the exam.
I'm a high school math teacher and the one about failing the kid broke my heart (for the teacher). I also hold a philosophy that effort and participation should be the bulk of the reward because I know math is daunting to some and I just want to see you TRY. It seems the teacher goes above and beyond to try to make sure her students are successful. Offering extra credit and having multiple conferences with mom was probably even more than what is required so, yes, the teacher did "invest a little more." Too many parents see a report card grade and instantly want to attack the teacher, which is ridiculous, especially in this age where most students and their parents can look up their grades with an app at any point in a semester, not just at the end.
I'm assuming Mom in this case doesn't really discipline her child and just kept saying something along the lines of "Don't worry sweetie, teacher is just mean, you won't fail"
One of the things I absolutely hated about being an Accounting major in College was with the online homework we only had three tries to get a question correct and if you made one mistake it would screw up the entire problem. So it became more about getting 100% on the question and less about understanding the concepts which did not help when the exams came around.
for the one about the person who couldn't delete the homework, it could've been a shared document that they could edit using their own account but couldn't revoke the other person's access to it
I'm with Cristine. I don't like group projects or presentations. I'd rather just do the work myself. I also couldn't avoid them when I was going to school for my masters.
Same esp in college it’s just awkward. In high school you pretty much know everyone in your class for the most part and could probably get along with them for the time being for a group project. But in college you’re stuck with completely random people and sometimes they’re twice your age lol and things get awkward. I remember my first year of college I had a group project and it was soooo awkward. We all met in the library and were completely silent the whole hour lol.
I recently completed a course (done online during covid lockdown in my country) where the lecturer was kind enough to let me do the assigned group projects as solo assignments. had so much less stress because I could complete it at my own pace and I ended up doing it faster, plus I didn't have to my ideas shot down by group consensus.
I don't know, the one about the library was weird. If I saw a child cry for about an HOUR with a mother doing absolutely nothing to fix it I would immediately assume it's one of those entitled Karens.
It also just sounds like she didn't care about her kid at all.
My thoughts exactly!! 🙌🙌
As a common courtesy thing she should have stepped out of the library to soothe the baby for the sake of everyone else. In defence of the mum just a bit tho, the baby continuing to cry doesn’t necessarily mean she was at no point trying. If the baby was sick, teething, the comfort toy had been lost, etc, it could be something out of the control of the mum.
Yeah, im on the op's side for the most part on that one. Not being able to take a test in a quite place like they wanted (i'm assuming this was probably durring covid given the restrictions), and having adhd while trying to take a test, I can only imagine a baby crying for 1-1.5 hours can be incredibly distracting. And some babies have quite a set of lungs on them. Some people are also more sensitive to noises then others. I think though there may have been something going on with the mother given the reaction, and I think perhaps op could have handled it a tad better but the librarians should have already said something to the mome if it had been going on that long.
Really? The reaction doesn't sound like a Karen, it sounds like a mother who is having trouble being an actual mother. Like the breaking down immediately and not even trying to sooth her child, to me it sounded like that mother could in some serious post-partum trouble/depression. I mean it shouldn't be the librarians job to triage this kind of situation and they have a good reason to kick her out for consistent conduct violations. I just wanted to mention that it might not be her being an uncaring privileged Karen but someone who is some serious mental crisis which is why she's acting really really strange for someone with a baby
@@charliev4156
Mostly agree, but even if it wasn’t in the mother’s control, other patrons shouldn’t be subjected to a baby crying especially if in a place that is expected to be quiet. What gets me is that this should’ve been addressed by the staff, not OP.
I think kicking the mom out wasn’t an asshole thing.
Library are places for people to study and read. Where I live, there may be some part of the library where you can make some noise, but most of it is silent by default.
I wouldn’t be mad at a parent struggling with their fusy baby. I’m ultra sensible to noise, but I couldn’t put the blame on them. Sometime, a baby won’t stop crying.
But it seemed that the mom didn’t gave any attention to their child and didn’t take any action. She could have taken the child with her outside a little bit to calm down the child without disturbing other people.
Just for people in College/Uni - Early on, I realized that I was not able to put the amount of focus/studying into the 5 courses I was taking, and dropped a class. After that, I felt like I was doing much better, and ended up doing 4 classes per year over 5 years, instead of 5 per year to finish in 4. I was able to cover the extra fees for the extra year, and it meant I came out of it with a better result over all. I also ended up changing my major going into second year, because I didn't enjoy English, and found my 1st year Communications course fascinating! Just because *most people* do things a certain way does not mean it's what's right for you. Don't be afraid to drop classes/change classes/change courses to find what's right!
Listening to this as a college student who’s currently recovering from mono, I just wanna say that Cristina’s tangent at the end about repeating courses and dealing with life getting in the way was really what I needed to hear right now. Thank you
The Crying baby in a Library, ya the OP is NTA. As someone with ADHD, a crying baby is a nightmare, when trying to concentrate. I wouldn't be able to read the test because my brain would be too busy trying to make more noise to block it out. The Mother was NOT actively trying to calm the baby, and that's a pretty AH thing to do. Everyone knows as a social norm Libraries are generally a place to be hush at. If the mother was unwilling to move to the bathroom to check if diapers were full, give a soother, or food to see if the baby is hungry, the mother is an AH. Why wouldn't you tend to your child, or even step outside to a bench out front or something. There are options for the mother. With your logic everyone annoyed should just leave the library? The library is for studying and reading, it's not a daycare.
Thank you so much for this podcast 🥺 I’m 27 years old and just started my first semester back at a community college after 7 years of having dropped out from university. I hated the career/corporation I had chosen to work for although I had great success with that opportunity it was not something I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. This video made me feel better about choosing to go back to school to further my education. Anyone else going back to school later in life I am proud of you 🥰
aww good luck with your first semester!! it's never too late❤
Ben saying ' Yes' right after reading the first story is just so funny. I was listing to this I was like damn she is just excited....
true but I feel like it’s just an unspoken rule to not brag about getting into a university bc it can be a sore subject. People all applying to the same schools and some of them getting denied, it causes hostility. I’ve seen it first hand in my graduating class. We were a pretty competitive class and most of us were applying to similar schools. I mentioned ONCE “I got into X school” and one of my classmates seemed bothered by this and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the school year 😭😭
I don’t think she’s an asshole I think she just needs to find her classmates on a Facebook group or something and talk to them about how excited they are to enter X school.
I understand it can be annoying, but like, she’s proud of herself! And she’s earned the right to be happy for herself. You can nicely say hey stop talking about it nonstop without trying to downplay her accomplishment
@@kianna270 that’s so dumb LMAOO. Let people be proud of themselves. Getting into university is a big accomplishment. Her family is dumb af if they think bragging about a huge life event is worth getting mad over.
@@kianna270 but they are her parents and her brother!
@@kianna270 That classmate that didn't talk to you is an asshole, it's not your fault because you mentioned it once or even because you got in. It's not like you were rubbing it in their face you mentioned ONCE.
You should be allowed to talk about it. And the sister in the post should be able to excitedly talk alot about it to her family
I just recently graduated from an online university and in my last course I encountered another student plagiarizing. This student often copied other discussion board posts (that replaces in person discussion) and would repost them but changing every other word with a synonym. I confronted the student and shared the plagiarism policy, the behavior never changed. I reported the student multiple times to the Professor and nothing changed. This university raved about their plagiarism policy constantly, but they didn’t act when someone actually broke it.
I saw this happening a lot when I was doing online courses. I never reported it though
Listening to the intro made me relate too much… After I graduated college, I applied for my first “adult” job and when they did the background check, it came back I needed to verify my diploma because they couldn’t authenticate. I thought it was just because I had recently graduated that my diploma hadn’t mailed yet. However, when I called the university, my advisor DIDNT PROPERLY APPLY ME FOR GRADUATION. So the whole time it was a literal clerical error and I couldn’t get my diploma until I took a physical education course that no longer is valid (I had transfer credits). I was soooo upset. Luckily I was able to send a transcript and not lose my job, but wow talk about awkward.
My university’s main library has 5 floors, the first two are like social areas where you can talk and act normal and there’s a coffee shop, etc. then the 3rd+4th are quiet zones, like you can whisper and talk but quietly. The fifth floor is QUIET!!!! ZONE!!! Like if you even drop a pencil, people look at you Lol. I prefer the 4th floor bc it’s more quiet but people are still talking and there’s some noise. I just can’t do the completely quiet floor bc I’m a naturally clumsy person and I drop everything and ppp always look at me with that look of disappointment lmao.
I've been a mom with a screaming baby in the public library before. Public libraries often have children's programs and birthday parties in rented or rooms. I brought my toddler to the library for family story time and my 2 month old got hungry after about 30 minutes. It was 105 degrees outside so yeah the library is one of the only places to take my kids that's cool and free and safe for me to bring an infant. The biggest difference is after he started crying, we did put best to check out and go to the car where I could feed him. Maybe he was crying in the library for 20 minutes tops while I tried to soothe him and get my toddlers books checked out and get them out to the car. I was super uncomfortable having my baby scream in a library but it was in the children's section and we left when he wouldn't go back to sleep. I didn't have any work to do or studying so there wasn't any reason I had to stay so I dunno what was going on with that woman. I'd think most moms would at least be apologetic if confronted and would stay in the areas meant for kids. Who knows what the circumstances are but I feelboth that student and that mother were in the wrong areas of the library. All our local public libraries have quiet rooms you can reserve and open study rooms as well.
Though I thought the teacher's "reality check" take was not correct, Ben and Christine are right, nobody wants to fail a student.
In high school I did the necessary homework just to pass, I thought grades and homework were dumb, it wasn't a good representation of a student's abilities. One time I had the end of a quarter date wrong, I didn't have enough time to get my history grade up. If I failed I wouldn't be allowed to go on a school trip that was already paid for, my teacher was very chill and allowed me to turn in a lot of pass homework. I don't think teachers enjoy failing students.
Right like I’m sure teachers/ professors don’t LIKE failing students but if it comes down to it, you don’t want a student who didn’t do anything to pass the class while students who kept on top of their work all semester didn’t get that same treatment, ya know? I think if they have a chance to raise their grade, you should help them but the teacher shouldn’t just pass a student just because they don’t want to fail them or for some other reason.
As a teacher when it comes to participation grades, especially in high school, I try to take into account a student's personality. If they are generally quiet and shy in the halls and not super talkative outside of class, I can see they are a shy person and not likely to participate a lot. Therefore I give them a better grade for what is maybe proportionally less participation. Meanwhile if a kid is super outgoing and talking all the time outside of class but then in the classroom they aren't talking, they won't get a good grade, because they clearly don't care. I also take into account note taking, do they look like they are paying attention. IMO it gets rid of the bias towards outgoing students participating more without making participation irrelevant. It's also not a huge percentage of the final grade anyway, so that it's more of just a boost for anyone who wants a better grade
My paralegal studies classes are all open-book because one of the skills a paralegal needs is the ability to find answers. Like if it’s a legal citation question, it’s more important that I know where to find the citation format in the bluebook than it is I memorize every citation…because I’m going to need to know what to do if I come across a citation I haven’t seen before at a real job.
As someone with misophonia I feel so bad for anyone in classes with the sneeze guy. I realize he can't control it but like, ugh. There used to be a kid in my school who every year got a cold and had the worst whooping cough every time and his parents would still send him to school. Felt bad for him cause he should have been home being that sick, but I also wanted to punch him and could not focus when he came in sick.
Hey! Just to weigh in on the Katie story, I think it's also important to not shelter a person from the nature of reality because of their past experiences or mental health. Of course I think it is important to be compassionate and approach the situation from a place of kindness! But to allow the behavior to continue despite the discomfort of the friend group isn't really doing Katie any favors for future situations where she may be met with rejection. 💜
Actually, there are studies that show that open book exams promote critical thinking and creative/unconventional info interpretation. I have an English lit degree and most of our open book exams were essay writing (literary analysis), so the notes acted as an outline and helped me structure my thoughts and analysis better. The majority of my classmates and friends believed so as well. 😊
People do wave their piece of paper around saying they graduated from Yale or whatever. It becomes their entire personality. House decorated with alumni merch, bumper stickers, license plate frames, all the school merch, every tie they wear are school colors, banners in their office with the school name, travel coffee mugs with the logo, the list goes on and on and on.
I agree when people make it like their personality it's annoying, but like your first year esp first semester at college is exciting and like idk it'll wear off lol
@@sophianotsofia first year is so different than being 55 and graduated for 30 years. Freshman get all the merch no matter what school they’re at bc it’s amazing and awesome to start this new chapter (:
Ben saying "alright" now reminds me of Safiya and I'm here for it. It's funny how we can pick up little phrases or mannerisms of others we hang out with!
I feel like I never made any real friends in college because I was always the "Katie" (as in, the random person trying to hang out with other groups of friends). So that whole conversation made me really sad.
It made me really angry tbh. I don't get why people can't just be semi-decent and talk empathetically with the other person to try to help instead of being rude and just avoidng someone. Being abandoned/turned down like that feels horrible, even if you don't know the people properly. I don't see why someone would feel such a strong urge to "run away" from someone who's just trying to make friends :/
@@TheGinaChan they already said she makes them uncomfortable and they have a choice on whether they wanna be friends with someone or not. I was a katie alll the way growing up and direct confrontation would be just as painful as avoidance and insinuation
I love how so much of your audience relates to your college content, and then there is I, a high school drop out, who’s still fit to be here cause I’m a NAIL TECH. 😂😂😂
Still it’s nice to see so many people embrace education thanks to you guys, I hope to one day have the opportunity to further mine 🤍
I tried to go to community college but dropped out 1.5 years in lol. I love learning 🤓, but not in classrooms 😴
@@GarliccDread WOW!! I felt that!! I was surprised I got through mail school 💀💀 probably cause it was a lot of hands on 😂😂😂
that's so cool that you're a nail tech tho!
@@kelsey3576 thanks babes!!! 🥰🥰 I’ve been dying for holo taco to drop GEL POLISHESSSSS
Me too❣️ I thought I was the only one😂
I had the worst roommate in college dorms.
She lied on the intake form (stated non smoker, in bed before 10, quiet- she smoked, partied and was up till after 11) so that sucked.
Then she would bring home random hook ups from the bar 3-5 days a week. It was the 2 beds in one room situation so that made me feel super unsafe! Especially after she passed out once and the guy tried to get into bed with me.
I reported this to our advisors and it was determined because I was the one with the issue I had to pay to upgrade to a single room.
It was a horrible 4 months
Once I let someone look at part of my homework at university, the teacher figured out that the other person's answer was similar and we both got half a grade, that's how I learned to keep my stuff to myself.
After graduation I was tutoring some students and one of them wanted to pay me to write her essays and I terminated the tutoring. I was fine guiding her to write but her idea of writing was to paraphrase a whole Wikipedia entry and I didn't want to work with someone who is willing to cheat so blatantly.
A lot of my classes had open note exams bc it wasn’t about regurgitating facts but more about creating an argument using facts e.g. in a history class we could use our notes to create a compare/contrast paragraph for for short answer questions etc.
My first year of college I went out of state and lived in the dorms, I was very excited to have a roommate.
For an entire semester, she would constantly buy food, keep it in her closet or in MY mini fridge until it was moldy and disgusting. One time I lied and said I was taking my fridge to get fixed but I just took it to my friend's dorm room and kept it there for a few weeks then brought it back to my room and hid it behind my dresser so she wouldn't keep her expired yogurt in it. There were gnats taking residence in the bag of apples she forgot in the back of her closet 😭 and she was never even there because she lived in the city the college was in so she never even experienced the consequences of her actions.
I am never living with anyone ever again.
Also it's impossible to believe 40 guys have "good intentions" with this type of information about women. Smdh 😂
The screaming baby discussion took me back to when my children were younger and we didn't have a car, and a lot of times when I got on the bus with three little ones to go into the city to visit my parents, the youngest, still a baby, would be really tired and start crying. I always felt really bad for the other people on the bus and wanted to tell them "she'll fall asleep as soon as the bus starts moving" which nearly always happened. They cry the most when they're about to fall asleep. Sigh. I'm sorry for the student in the library and sorry a solution wasn't found to accomodate both parties in that case.
I’m 23 and still have nightmares about missing classes at school, not doing homework or just being back at school 💀
Same 25 and still have nightmares where I can’t find my class or I forgot to go all semester
@@plaid90 ME TOO
Lol I'm 32 and I still have nightmares like that! They never go away 😭
I'm 37 and same
I’m currently a 3rd year undergraduate and man do I relate to the first AITA! I I remember sitting in class senior year of high school and a classmate made the comment that the school I got into was just high school part two. It was so deflating in the moment, but here I am three years later having presented at two major conferences on two separate research projects as first author. So true about the school you attend in undergrads isn’t as important as some people make it out to be.
I almost got in trouble for plagiarism in college. I was an environmental science major and we were put it groups to develop a lab report together. I thought since we were in a group, we’d be responsible for writing a portion of the report and then putting it all together for the final document. Well. I did not find out until turning it in that that was not the case. My prof was ready to fail us all for plagiarism. I said please do not fail everyone, just fail me. I was the only one that didn’t ‘reword’ their report to after reviewing the other group members portion. I still stand by this that it’s total bullshit. I’ve been in the work force for almost 10 years and that’s not how shit gets done
As a high school teacher myself, I feel that the chem teacher did everything she could to ensure that Levi had opportunities to pass. Judging from the fact that they described parent meetings and counselor meetings, the student knew what was going on. Maybe the words are harsh, but the reality check is valid.
as response to current open book exams: well, last few years some exams were fully digitals anyways, so yes you could ctrl F in your open book files. Also before the panini I have had exams on laptops (but in an examination hall) and thats fine. There is software to check whether you are not using the internet or chatting. Sometimes I even had to hand in a screen recording as well, to show Im not doing anything malliscious. But yes, open laptop exams are very much a thing
That chemistry teacher is amazing, goes above and beyond, and just proves that it doesn't matter how hard teachers try, there is always one family that will be angry with them over their child. Some parents refuse to accept that their child isn't trying and refuse to ever hold their children responsible. They're the first to point out what other parents should do with their kids, yet never do it with their own. As someone who works in a school, I am blown away by how much that chemistry teacher tried and it was a simple case of a kid not caring and assuming the teacher would bail him out at the end. Sorry bud, life doesn't work that way!
Me, a Katie… also a 20 year old university junior with few friends and severe social anxiety… the Katie story is exactly what I think others think and that’s why I don’t really make friends…
"It's not about hooking up with them--it's about making it easier to impress them on dates!" Bruh.
I've been out of school for almost 8 years now and I still get these dreams where I'm completely PANICKED because I forgot about an assignment or slept in for an exam and missed it. I thought it was so strange, but glad to know I'm not the only one 😂
When I was in high school, I was top of my class and a very well rounded and responsible student. Despite this, my parents told me I wouldn't be able to "make it on my own" and told me I couldn't go to a four year university and would have to stay at our community college (disclaimer: I have NO issues with community college. It's just my college did not have the degree path I desired, and it would have set me back two whole years on my professional progress since the degree I wanted to pursue was fully loaded each year). So, I worked my butt off to get into my state's four year university and get a scholarship for it. When I got my acceptance letter to the college, I told my friends because I was super excited. One of my friends said "yeah, they let anyone with a pulse into that school" and basically made me feel like crap for an accomplishment that literally meant me having freedom and control over my own education. There is NO reason to make someone feel bad for being excited to get into college/university/trade school. If someone is making a decision for their life that they are excited about, that should be uplifted and celebrated!
26:00 we had an open-book exam during covid times that we took at home via zoom. everyone had to "promise" to just look at skripts and other course work because they couldnt really check if we'd use google or something🤣
Regarding the story of Katie and the other people--they mention she doesn't pick up on cues of them not wanting to hang out, and that she dominates conversations and talks about sensitive things. Could she possibly be on the spectrum, if that's the case? It wouldn't really change things, but it could offer a reason why she's "unpleasant to be around"
For the university story…. There definitely are ideas or beliefs about different universities in Canada, though it’s not to the same league as in the US. I remember an old rhyme people used to say “If you can walk and talk you can go to *****”
I think it’s shitty because either people choose a school for a lot of really important reasons to them - which makes it shitty to put them down about going there. OR they choose a school because it’s the only one they could get into… in which case it’s also shitty to put them down. Everyone going to university is trying to get educated and better their life and they deserve kudos for that.
That happened to my dad. They let him walk but they withheld his diploma until he paid the loan for tuition that he got from the school. 7 years later he had paid it off and went for his diploma. They told him they couldn't give it to him because they just realized that he didn't take all the classes. So he had to go back and take a class. This was before records were on the computer.
It’s a library. Not a hang out noisy spot. She might have come across as rude or uncaring but I def agree that the baby had to go. Also not sure about Canada but I’ve personally never been in a public library that had multiple floors. And I’ve lived in a few different states. I wish we had multiple floors that sounds awesome
Interesting, all the places I’ve lived had large multi storied libraries. It is indeed nice.
Having had experience in recruiting there is massive amounts of discrimination when it comes to hiring from brand name schools and non-brand name schools. Ivy League and prestigious uni education carries a lot of weight (which I think is unfair) even for candidates that might be under qualified. Basically to most corporations brand name of school and masters matters more than anything else in education (in my experience)
So, my husband has the LOUDEST sneezes I have ever heard. Like, rattling the windows, scaring our cats, waking me up if I'm sleeping, loud sneezes. I have asked him many many many times to try and quiet his sneezes, and there is nothing he can do to quiet them down. He's tried sneezing into his elbow, sneezing into tissues/handkerchiefs, holding them in and nothing works. He is just a loud sneezer. So there are people out there who do not have control over their sneezing, and I think the AITA you read is one of those people. However! There are definitely people in this world who would sneeze loudly and not try and quiet it down or would try to get their sneeze on other people because they're just A-holes.
I’m from Europe and I’ve never heard of schools starting before September, it’s actually pretty common for universities to start much later than that, my university for example starts in the middle of October
hi cristine!
i’ve been watching ur videos since i was 11, and every time u post i am always tuned in. i love ur podcast so much, i’ve been watching it ever since the first one released a few years back! just felt like sharing my support, mostly because you and ben always cheer me up and make my day. thank you guys for creating the best content ever 😋💖💖💖
Cris, I really needed to hear your last thoughts. I'm 30 and in uni for the first time and this is my 3rd semester and I'm about to fail my first class and I feel horrible. Thanks for giving your perspective and admitted you retook courses too ❤️
I’ve seen a lot of comments from people saying they were the Katie at their school. I was also a Katie in my middle school (floating around, wanting real friends)…I wish we all had each other as friends growing up so we wouldn’t feel so alone ❤ Katies unite!!
In regards to the last post, I live in a small town that has a community college. The college shares the library with the public. There are 6 rooms for quiet use but are limited for 1 hour. There is no technical place for most students to take tests but the library.
im surprised to hear how different the grading system is in the us/canadian university. i go to university in germany, and 100% if my grade depends on my final
Really? I go to a university in Germany as well and we have a lot of group projects, presentations and such.
@@franzessie9697 hm, maybe it depends on what you study? i study computer science and know that my friends in other stem fields, also only have one exam
Well I wouldn’t say that, because every class and university is different. For example med schools in America usually go off a PASS/FAIL type grading system so there’s really no grades, you just pass or fail.
But most university classes can be either or. I had a genetics class where your only grades were the exams and you HAD to do good on the exam to pass. And other classes had more cushion room with assignments or projects. Like when I took biology 2, tests were like half our grade while projects we did were another half. And once I took a research class and your whole grade depended on submitting weekly updates on your research. It really depends on the class/ professor.
Same at my uni in Denmark. There have been a few presentations, but they don't count towards your grade.
We have 1-4 exams per semester and that's it.
Thanks for that pep talk at the end ❤️ I’m currently going through finals week and it’s looking like I’m going to need to retake a class I need for my future career and I was feeling so ashamed to have to retake it. I haven’t given up and am definitely doing the best I can. I am trying to constantly remind myself of the benefits of retaking it. I’ll be okay and I will eventually pass 👍🏽 thank you again guys, I appreciate it 😊
As someone who just finished first year through the chaos of online and offline classes and while being absolutely terrified of having to repeat classes - the end really helped! loved the pod , it was super fun
on the topic of open books - i got my masters degree in Denmark - and here open books mean you have access to everything except comunicating with others. Nearly all exams i have had since high school have been digital (written on computer and uplodeaded on a specific site) - they were meant to test students on critical thinking and how we process information (in uni i had mostly 24 or 48 hour exams and a few 1 week exams)
I used to teach intro classes in college. I let my students bring a note card in to help on exams and gave a couple bonus points for handing over their cards. The act of making the card was forcing the students to study and prioritize what to include and also made the act of cheating pointless since they were allowed to bring in notes. One of the best decisions I ever made as a prof.
I wish I had a teacher like Levi. The teacher did make an effort to get him help and spoke with his Mom repeatedly. Teachers can only do so much and he isn't the only student for which they are responsible.
"Teachers shouldn't be the ones raising their students and I think unfortunately they often do"
As a teacher, this is so true and quite sad and even stressful. It's been even downright depressing how some of my students even verbally express that their parents don't pay attention to them, and in general very taxing to us as teachers and the rest of the class how some students will ask for attention in ways that affect others (like hitting their classmates, bullying, getting into fights, crying constantly, etc). And there are also children that were raised without any limits or consequences and have to adjust to a different reality altogether, and again, it's quite tough not only to teachers but the whole class. As much as we want to help our students, we cannot and should not be fulfilling the role of a parent.
It's just a sad reality that's ever constantly present, and at the end of the day there's a limit to what one can do as a teacher too. Thank you for acknowledging that.
VERY HOT TAKE on cheating. I don’t think you should ever be expelled for cheating once. I believe in rehabilitation rather than punitive justice. I think there’s a way to force such deviant students to take a seperate course on plagiarism and re-do the course. But everyone should be allowed to have good college education, regardless if they cheated once or not. If caught more than once, then we need to talk about therapy and probably suspending them for a year or two. I strongly strongly oppose anyone proposing punitive justice for something as trivial as cheating. I think there’s better ways of maintaining academic integrity than destroying someone’s education. Denying education systemically is one of the most inhumane and unacceptable immoral act. It condemns people to a lower income bracket, by the way of how the system is designed.
I agree on therapy and giving second chances but what would a plagiarism course do
For the first one regarding mid tier colleges. I got into a US medical school from a "mid-tier" US college. I believe it's about a 70% acceptance rate but I went there because it looked like a pretty school. Despite it not being Harvard or some Ivy league, my friend, my bf, and myself all got into medical school from our mid-tier college. Even throughout med school, my classmates didn't come from ivy leagues either. In my experience it mattered more your degree, your grades, your work experience, etc than which specific school you went to.