Becky talking about her speech impediments and difficulties communicating in childhood, then she basically drops a rap album in the Chime ad? I hope she's so proud of all of her progress
Omg I thought I was the only one! The matching colours and two completely different outfits are gorgeous! Also look at Ariel’s scrunchie on her hand, it matched their outfits too! 😳
What I love about Ariel is that her job requires a keen eye for style and form, but she's also just so down to earth, and basic in the very best most relatable way. I would never pick a favorite, because these are people, not ice cream flavors, but she really is so enjoyable to see in videos and hear on the podcast.
I am a 40 year old Catholic woman! I just want to say Being LGBTQ is not bad it’s who you are it’s the way God made you and God makes no mistakes. I guess I was very very lucky in the church that I grew up and I had a priest who made sure nobody at our church said stupid crap like that. In fact one of my CCD teachers was a gay man and served in our church.It’s really sad that people would make people feel so bad about who they are and use my beautiful religion to do it. And to hypocrites( because that’s what they are) The one to say stupid crap like that they need to go back and read what Jesus taught which is love not hate not being a judge mental asshole. He taught us to love all our brothers and sisters because we are all his children.
Amen to all of this! LGBTQ+ friendly Catholics and churches are out there, but sometimes we all (especially other Catholics like me) need a little reminding. Thank you for sharing 🙏
As someone who doesn't follow any religion (and have had prior negative experiences having to due with other's using religion in the wrong way), this comment makes me smile. We are all made equal, and made to love and be loved. It makes me happy to hear you found a Catholic church that respects every one of their worshippers. Keep spreading the love you are spreading! You are helping restore faith in more ways than one my friend.
Becky tearing up talking about queer kids' experiences with religion is about to make me cry. As someone who does have Catholic parents and is very queer, this was kind of heartwarming, if in a sad way. love y'all
Same here, I cried when she cried and then I cried again because someone who I look way the hell up to cried for someone like me. Not calling Becky old, but I'm not used to people older than me going to bat for LGBTQIA+ kids. Becky's empathy is so touchingly profound and I adore her. The part of me that's still struggling with the abusiveness of my catholic upbringing has never felt this seen before and I feel you when it's heartwarming in a sad way. We deserved better. Sending you all the love, Parker
I bet they'll never see this BUT just in case, this is for Becky. I'm a young adult who is queer in multiple ways, and i was raised in a church where my grandfather was my pastor. When I was growing up know i was gay, I felt alone. When she spoke up and started crying about how queer children are treated in organized religion, it just made me feel SO seen. I teared up with her because her passion for love made me feel full of her compassion. If you see this Becky, please know how much you just made my day.
I also think she needs to be more explicitly referred to and included as a co-host. I understand she's also a TryGuys producer, but she's an integral part of this podcast in the role of co-host. This is a 4 person podcast hosted equally by all of them.
Not me trying to watch this while getting ready for work only to also cry angry tears with Becky. Growing up Catholic and being forced to go to CCD for a decade straight did nothing but illuminate a lot of hate and hypocrisy that drove me entirely away from religion. This was cathartic to hear.
Juliana, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I am a Christian and it ACHES me to read this stories, sending you lots of love and hope you are now in a better place ❤️
@@TheFerParra this is so sweet thank you! Luckily I was able to work through these challenges and am very happy with my life at current and have friends of all walks of religions who found a balance between their personal morals and religion. It isn't something I feel I lack but rather something I grew from.
I also grew up Catholic, went to CCD, and felt very alienated as a (at the time) gay guy. My experience also drove me from religion at a young age. For a long time I had a lot of fear and mistrust of religious people, and considered myself an antitheist. These days I'm a little more open to other people's beliefs, as long as they don't try to erase my atheism, which does happen sometimes.
I was raised religious and attended Catholic school. I've been openly pansexual for the last decade with everyone but my parents (so the entirety of my 20s). I prayed my entire youth to be straight. I absolutely hated myself. I had to work through it a lot in therapy. I just came out to my parents last week. There was a lot of gaslighting. They definitely don't 'approve' of it. They think it's a 'fad' and don't want to educated. But I feel so much more at peace with myself. I feel more free to be myself. I feel like a fully realized person around them now.
I went to Catholic school until 8th grade and then went to just a charter high school with no religion. My mom swears up and down that I stoped being Catholic because she didn’t put me in a Catholic high school. I don’t know how many ways I can explain to her that watching Catholics with their holier than thou attitudes while being rude to people is what drove me away. My high school had nothing to do with it. My own Catholic family drove me away from it
When Becky started to cry I started to cry to. I'm bisexual and grew up highly religious (am sorta now simply because I'm stuck and forced) and I've definitely wanted to die almost my whole life because I was taught that is the only way to be forgiven for sin, to be given mercy, to show you're really sorry, etc. I've been working on. These thoughts a long time but it still really hurts that this is the way it is for not just me but millions of queer kids like me.
Cece, I am sorry to hear the condemnation that you have been through. I am a Christian and I really want you to know that Jesus loves you and if you don’t feel free wherever you are you can still seek God through other ways. I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts also and understand how hard it is. Sending you lots of love ❤️
I totally feel the same way being a gay, non-binary man. I literally can relate to every single sentence you just wrote. It was really hard growing up. Especially because my country is homophobic too. If you'd like I would love to give you my instagram or discord or whatever. We may suffer but we can do it together so we are stronger (i'm also open to providing my (anon) details to anyone else thats also LGBT and suffering). sending you love from one lgbt person to another either way ❤️
@@kimberlythomas7028 I know you mean well by saying that, but please keep in mind that when speaking to someone who has been traumatized by the church, that even saying the words "jesus loves you" can be very triggering. I recognize that you and the other commenter probably see that as a comforting phrase, but to me and many other people it only stirs up more pain and past trauma to hear those words
I went to an all-girls catholic school run by a nun and my whole grade was very vocal against the anti-LGBT+ rhetoric. I’m not Catholic anymore but I think if they keep saying we’re all created in the image of God and that God makes no mistakes, then by that logic gay is okay. There’s no way you were made ‘wrong’ and other people should never attempt to tell you who you are and who you should be. Be gay. It’s okay. It’s wonderful!
I’ve never had to make a choice between liking men or women. I’ve always inherently known that I was straight. By that same logic, no one “chooses” to be gay. They just are & that’s every bit as natural & real & acceptable as someone who is heterosexual.
@@amandalouise_ Thank you! I knew I was gay before I knew what gay was. It's as natural and elemental to me as it would be for any straight person, yet some people still insist it's a choice. I'll never understand that leap in logic.
I appreciate that you said you may loose friends. People think that everyone is mature and can have communication. But unfortunately not everyone thinks that way. Also meeting SO parents, they might be nervous to meet you. But even parents who love their kid, some think no one is good enough and will be mean for no reason. Those relationships are toxic and hard because you love your partner but not your in-laws.
While my mother is a church goer she does use the phrase, “The church shoots their wounded,” fairly often. Meaning they hurt the ones they are supposed to be trying to heal.
When Becky started speaking on organized religion and how it’s so intertwined with the oppression of marginalized groups, I felt the passion in her voice and it brought me to tears right along with her! As someone who isn’t quite out but identifies as queer while being raised Christian, (I have also attended a Christian school) thank you for speaking out Becky, and all you lovely ladies!! That is such an important message to share, especially during pride month! 🥺❤️
them talking about religion really resonated with me, like being raised catholic just made me feel so ashamed of myself all the time and then realizing that i didn't need religion to be considered a good person was so unbelievably liberating. it's so comforting hearing them talk about things i can't openly discuss with my family for fear of being just shot down and belittled
100%. I had a major surgery done in 2012 and my parent told me that I should be religious in case I die during surgery, so I could go to heaven. (I was 16.) That just further drove me away from religion. The ladies definitely gave me comfort when they talked about it as well.
Mia Maples did a wardrobe capsule for her mother which was AMAZING, she also did one for herself, but she did her whole wardrobe thrifted. It was the 1st time I ever heard of Wardrobe Capsule, It was so cool. Mama Maples wore it for 30 days and she says it made getting ready so much easier. I hate shopping, but someday I'd love to try it!
You can try and do a capsule wardrobe with what you already own and buy a few missing pieces! I had never actually heard of people purposely buying all new clothes for a capsule wardrobe, it seems strange to not actually start with what you already have
@@sawyer0815 how do you gauge who is “most authentic” or less if you don’t know them personally? If you simply favor Maggie and Ariel, it’s fine to say that, but labeling the others as being disingenuous is oddly and unnecessarily judgmental and parades what is only your opinion as fact.
Ooookay, I have been waiting for the moment when Becky went off on religion. Here we go, this is my journey and how it relates to what you’ve said today. I’m a 24 year old cradle catholic who was kicked out by my mother at 19 for coming out as bisexual, WHILE DATING A CIS MALE. The truth of the matter is I’m pan, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to conceive what that meant. I spent my teenage years heavily entwined in the church- I was the leader of the 100+ member youth group; cantored weekly masses, special observances, and funerals; I was recognized as outstanding youth of the year by the archdiocese of Newark in 2014. I followed this path by attending a Catholic college, where I was raped during my first month. When I told my mother, she dragged me into the car to go to confession, forced me to sit my entire family down (father, twin, and older brother) to tell them the “truth about what I’d been up to,” and then my parents pulled their financial support from the college forcing me to drop out at the end of the semester. 3 months later, 2 weeks before Christmas, I came out to my parents and was out of the house that night and never went back. Suffice to say, I can’t say that I was *surprised* at my mother’s vitriol, but I was shocked by the acceptance I received from the pastor. I came to him immediately after packing my bags- he put me up in a motel until the following week when more accepting relatives could pick me up. He requested I attend one last mass before leaving. The Sunday that followed my being kicked out, he preached that there is no such thing as a “good/bad” Catholic, for 2 reasons. 1st, faith is wholly personal. Everyone experiences their faith in an intensely individual way, which leaves no space for others to judge it. 2nd, faith is not about how devoutly you practice, but rather by how your faith is reflected in the people around you. Are people made better by your presence? Do you generally behave like a decent fucking human? Then you’re golden, good to go. Needless to say I went through a journey of discovery and education and have come to a point in my journey where I am atheist. For me, religion is simply a way to face the day with the idea that there is someone supporting you from behind the curtains; regardless of the faith you follow. It was a great-and terrifying- day when I came to the realization that I shouldn’t need anyone’s support but my own, and that life was a journey that I both should and could make on my very own. Maggie, I’m sorry that your sister had to defend herself in class, even if you say that she was ready to. Y’all said that she shouldn’t have to defend her opinion, and I offer a correction. No one should ever, ever have to defend or justify their state of being. That is their journey, and to be put into a position where you’re forced to defend your own story is inhumane and absurd. Thank you for taking the time to discuss this sensitive topic. I’ve tried to keep this specific to my perspective, as again faith is wholly personal and I would never presume to tell someone what to believe or how to practice. I appreciate all of your bravery and compassion. XO
Tips for work wardrobe (my style): 3-4 slacks in black or grey (maybe one fun color one) 4-7 work tops/blouses in various colors (I like patterns, and try and pick to a color scheme like blues and purples or red) 1-3 cardigans (one in black, cuz you can match with any color). Tip: wearing layers = look more polished. 1 pair of comfy, professional work shoes, in black. Finally, have 1 white, collared shirt and 1 black blazer for interviews or networking events. LAST NOTE: You can swap a few pants for skirts, if you prefer. Or dresses and cardigans. Try and keep to a color scheme that you can mix and match. Example, red, white, and black. Or grey, color, and black and white.
As someone who supports the queen community and is also catholic i feel like everyone should handle this conversation like you beautiful ladies have. You point out the flaws that exist but don't try to invalidate the persons beliefs. Its the perfect way to handle it👏👏👏 I wish people on both sides could handle it this way
I saw "queen community" and I thought this was about the british royal family. I was confused why the catholic were at odds with queen elizabeth for a hot second hehe
My long term boyfriend and I (5 years, and we don't plan on getting married) are child free by choice, and will continue to be. Our best friends have two girls, their oldest is almost three (almost the same as Ariel and Ned!). We have three cats, and they are our chosen children. For mother's and father's days, we got them gifts, but they also got us gifts. Writing in "cat" above "mother's/father day" on the cards. Friendship takes a lot of work, and people don't get that nowadays. Communication is a two way street!!!
Your friends sound amazing. My fiancé and I also intend to be child free and I worry about people not accepting us as a “family” because we don’t have kids. We also have two cats and they provide us with love and an outlet to nurture tiny cute things and we’re good with just that. Cheers, cat mom!
I can relate to the friendship conversation. I was the first of my friend group to have a child and I noticed as time passed they reached out to me less and less, and it felt like they were not willing to work around me anymore. I tried telling them that I really needed them, that I felt like I was drowning and needed reminding that I was more than just a parent. I realized that we naturally grew apart, that we didn’t have much in common anymore and that I wasn’t getting the support I needed from them. It’s really hard to let go of those friendships but I’ve reached a point where if I am not getting any reciprocal effort then I walk away because I know someday I will be able to have more balanced friendships.
Loving this! Just a lil heads up to Maggie: Pull & Bear are owned by Zara if you’re concerned about funding fast fashion, however P&B pieces have lasted me years so they’re still good quality!
This actually isn’t specifically directed to friends with kids for me but it can include them. I’m now at a point where I match energy in friendships. I really love my friends and I show up strong for them but if they don’t also show up strong for me I have to put some distance there. Of course there are always exceptions for example my best friend who is a mom is going through a tough time right now and I’ve been helping more…but at time’s where I’ve had a tough time she’s helped me more. She also vocalizes that she appreciates me and that’s very helpful. However if I notice a pattern unrelated to a tough time where I give more…I pull back and match the energy of that friend.
I grew up HEAVILY in religion. My father was (and still is) an evangelical pastor. I went to a Baptist Christian school from kindergarten to high school graduation. (Could truly go on and on about the emotional and mental abuse there but I won’t because it would take years lol) I could go on and on about how brainwashed I was and how long it took me to deconstruct all of it and lay it all out on how I truly felt on things. It went on through college and probably until 7 or 8 years ago, I would’ve called myself a Republican. I voted Republican in my first election because that was all I knew and I literally thought Democrats or anything else was the enemy or seen as “sinful.” It took a few lightbulb moments to get the ball rolling and being around people who didn’t grow up like me to fully get to where I am today. But it took serious time. I’m liberal AF and I’m so proud of it now. There’s no place for me to tell anyone how to believe. But it’s also not theirs to tell me how to believe. I’m so proud that this girl already knows that homophobia has no place in any setting and that she stood up for herself because like y’all said, religion can be a safe haven if you practice in a way that’s not hateful or discriminatory. Good on her and I want to give Becky a hug because I get that way too when those topics come up in conversation 🤗
I'm sorry you had to go through what you did to get to the point you are now. I know it couldn't have been easy to question everything you'd been taught and everything you believed. But I'm glad you did that. I wish more people would make the I'm sure painful and uncomfortable choice to question the things that simply "accept" as truth. If more people did, maybe this country wouldn't be so divided and more people would come to the conclusions you came to.
I had a similar journey - couldn't break out of those harmful patterns ingrained in me as a child until I was in my early 20s. I can't tell you how relieved I felt to discover that hell didn't exist, that sin didn't exist, that God or Jesus or whoever wasn't actually going to come back and kill us all. I was CONSTANTLY terrified that Revelations was going to start actually happening any day. It's probably why I have an anxiety disorder now. 😒
@@janhankins911 very much agreed! It was a long journey for me. That’s why I strongly believe that being a kind example to everyone may spur them on a journey of their own 🙂
Becky talking about the LGBTQIA+ community brought me to tears. I just came out publicly and my family is not supportive (they haven’t kicked me out or anything but it’s still not going well). Hearing someone get so emotional just from having the empathy to really see someone who is different from you was like breathing for the first time. Thank you ladies for making us feel safe and welcomed as ourselves. And happy pride. 🏳️🌈♥️
Happy pride to you too! I'm so sorry your family doesn't accept you, I hope you have friends that do and that they will support you! Even if you don't yet, you will, and in the mean time we are here for you!
On Becky’s point about CCD telling kids that non-Catholics won’t go to heaven, literally Pope Francis told a child whose father died not being Catholic that his being a good man was enough for him to go to heaven. So many Catholics and Christians forget the first two tenets of Christ’s teachings. Love God and love your neighbour, and that loving one is loving the other and they cannot be exclusive.
Yeah that was surprising because I was taught in Catholic school that Christians and Jewish people go to heaven provided they were good people (which is problematic in its own right- I don’t know if we were ever told what would happen to Muslim/Hindu etc folks) and I remember being rather shocked when I left Catholic school at the conflict between other sects of Christianity.
the last straw for me breaking away from religion entirely was the majority of my family members not coming to my sisters wedding to a woman bc she was "damning her soul to hell". I no longer have contact with pretty much all of them and I do not regret it.
I wish more sustainable clothing was accessible for petites. Im almost forced to shop at these fast fashion stores because they are the ones that have clothes I actually fit into. Short and tall women need more options!
48:37 when Becky teared up, I started to cry 😞 She makes me feel seen. I’ve been hiding my identity for so long and I will most likely continue to do so because I’m freaking scared of my parents and family disowning me or treating me as an outsider. I’ve had countless nights where I debated whether I should live through torture or just end it all. I’m so grateful for the few friends that love me right now, but I’m terrified of what’s coming for me in the future. I just hope that one day, the whole world will see the LGBTQ+ community as human beings.
I'm an old lady and had never heard of fast fashion before. I've begun doing some research and am simply aghast (although given human nature, I'm not sure why I'm so aghast). I will most certainly be more aware of shopping for my clothes from now on! Thanks for the education.
I love Becky and Maggie so much they are angels😭Ariel and Rachel are like the cutest humans ever and are such amazing moms they need to be protected forever and ever❤️❤️
Becky those tears were a whole mood and I feel all of it. Thank you for feeling so passionate on something so important. And Rachel I appreciate and respect you saying you can't even talk about it without raging, I feel that vibe often too.
Becky meeee toooo! The sensory/fit/fabric issues trying to buy clothes are a nightmare. I literally find something I like, buy as many as I can afford of it and wear it until it dies. Then I still wear it but try to layer to cover the holes and stains lmao
I graduated and went right into interior design. I struggled so much with getting professional clothes, but looking "trendy" and having a "style", while making not very much money. I recommend somewhere like Aritzia for dress pants that are a little more exciting / newer styles than suit pants. They hold up pretty well too for lots of wear. Couple pairs of black, navy, classic patterns. Buy a pair of really great jeans that fit well, feel professional. I'd get 1 or 2 button downs, maybe also from somewhere like Aritzia, that are nice, classic, and can be dressed up or down. Then I'd fill in the blanks with "fun" tops, skirts, shoes, more fun pants, from somewhere like Marshalls. Just keep in mind the material and "can I throw this in the wash and it won't shrink 3 sizes?" It did definitely feel though like my first year of work was constantly using my paycheck to fill in gaps and keep building it. But breaking it down per paycheck was more doable than buying a huge whole wardrobe all at once.
these were rly good questions today, my fellow listeners are so well spoken and thoughtful ❤️ hope y'all have a great whatever time of day you are listening to this
For clothes I’d definitely recommend a mix of new & thrifted. For staple items like dress pants and good shoes, definitely do new. If you’re in an industry that allows for some more unconventional style, I love doing thrifted blazers especially from the men’s section as it can give a really unique shape & sometimes some super fun patterns!
Ariel is so so pretty. I know we always talk about it, but she has such chill, chic, older sister(?)/cousin energy. Like it’s both so calming and welcoming yet kind of intimidating at the same time.
Yes, Repair! Buy higher quality boots and shoes bc they can be repaired and cleaned by a cobbler for like $10-$20 a year or twice a year! I know that upfront price isn't doable for everyone, but if you can, I highly recommend.
i’m child free by choice as well - to the question regarding that (if you’re reading this) - i think the best option is to be frank with your friends. let them know that you love hearing about their kids and their accomplishments, but don’t necessarily love hearing about random peoples anatomy and pregnancy/etc.
So as a child free person, I don’t think you guys quite understand what it feels like to be the child free person in the friend group. Becky touched on it a bit but it goes deeper. I know both Maggie and Becky want kids, so it’s a bit more when you don’t want kids. Parents do often lose a lot of what makes them them when they have kids. There’s a fundamental change. Parents also do tend to think their problems trump child free problems and it’s so so obnoxious. We have lives too.
Thank you Becky! I'm in my 30s and just now able to start claiming my identity after a lifetime of being taught to hate myself. Seeing you moved to tears on the topic means a lot (and also moved me to tears)
aww becky i agree that religion should NOT be used as a reason to be a bad person. I had a VERY heated conversation with some VERY ignorant boys in my class who said some transphobic and homophobic things. (don’t worry i took care of them quite well (it wasn’t TOO violent, but i did throw a few tennis balls but none of them actually got hit)) btw i’m not religious and im also bisexual. I’m glad that you guys talked about this and showed true emotion over what needs it. All y’all are amazing
Vera Wang’s “Simply Vera” line at Kohl’s has GREAT black trousers for all shapes and sizes and they’re stretchy with fake back pockets so they don’t look like leggings. My go-to for work pants!
Becky crying broke my heart. I have a tender heart like her and cry regularly because my friends and loved ones are being hurt just because they want to live their most authentic self. It's heartbreaking. So many good topics were covered today. As always, I love hearing y'alls experiences and perspectives.
I always enjoy this show, even when they're covering topics that aren't specifically relevant to me, and frequently I have no idea what they're talking about. Like, I have no clue what fast fashion is, but I enjoyed this discussion anyway.
So, fast fashion is about cheap & poor quality clothes intentionally so you buy more and more. Sometimes is good to invest in good quality clothes for a higher price cuz they will last forever! (As Rachel's swimsuit) But also keep in mind that some brands are soooo overrated, and their high prices don't mean hugh quality, just status...
@@cubbance The low prices of fast fashion also rely on the badly sourced materials that are very polutting and the explotation of workers (mostly women of color) who are not paid liveable wages and have bad working conditions. It's pretty bad all around and it should be avoided when people can afford it
Thank you so much for saying what you said about organized religion. I was right there tearing up with Becky. My brother came out as transgender a few years ago - as an adult. And why as an adult and not earlier? Because my family was extremely conservative Baptists. We were raised hearing from preachers how homosexuality is a sin and they're going to Hell. That was fact to us/them. No one in my whole life questioned it (well, besides me, but I have many other issues with religion which don't even pertain to this). I watched as other parents turned their backs on their kids or sent them to conversion therapy - which makes me absolutely sick to think about. But I am so lucky to have the family I have. They did a COMPLETE 180 when my brother came out - which shocked me honestly. I never thought my parents would change their minds - and it was immediate. I think when you are faced with your child telling you this, you basically have 2 choices - be a crappy parent and turn your back on your own child - or BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD! Crappy parent option wasn't even considered by my folks. I think it took my mom one look at statistics on suicide for transgender people (seriously scary!) who have no family support for my mom to just embrace my brother AS HE IS no questions asked - it was simply you are my child and I love you no matter what - no judgement. And I think the one huge lesson we learned was we don't have to fully understand it. If you aren't transgender, there is no way you are going to fully understand it. But accept your family and friends who are going through this and just trying to learn to live and love themselves. You are their family and if your child, sibling - whatever the case may be - can't feel supported, this world is harsh already and will crush them. They need a safe haven and they need that to be the same safe haven they've had their whole lives - their family. Now, I'm so proud - especially of my mom - who is taking it as a personal mission to council Christian families who are coming from the same background that we did, on how to show that love and accept your children/siblings/friends who are LGBTQ+ because news flash - you can be a Christian and fully be an Ally. I love what you said - that listener is 110% a better Catholic than that other person. Lead and Live with Love!
I am not a mom, but I am 26 and for the past 5 years, I have been a staple figure in my two nephews' lives. I have dropped so much and stepped back from a lot of people because my friends couldn't understand why all my time was going to raising two beautiful babies. I still feel alone at times because my best friends needed me to put them first- and I just couldn't. I try to always ask people how they are doing because I really wanted my friends to do that to me. Thank you for letting me sit with you guys
BECKY & RACHEL, MY ANTI RELIGION, ALLY, QUEENS! As someone who was a queer kid in the church, thank you for speaking so passionately about this issue. I always feel so seen as a listener & member of your audience. I feel more loved in this space than I ever did in the church. 🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤
The first time I met my fiance's parents I literally got a phone call 30 seconds earlier and had my ass fired over the phone. I had to dry the tears suck it all down and put on the QT I'm a perfect fit for your son face. Fast forward 10 plus years were still together everything's golden and I'm a super successful nurse.
i LOVE that zach and maggie share clothes 🥺 im a mid sized thiccy but my boyfriend is zach sized and the same height as me so i cant even steal a hoodie unless its oversized on him lmao
i got emotional when becky and maggie where talking about their experience with orginized religion and made me think of my best friend and his family, they are very active catholics and i still dont know how the heck my friend, Rick and i end up being best friends... we have talked several times about how being friends helped him overcome his homophobia and begin to understand that we all have so much things that make us who we are, he knew me before i transitioned (and by then i had spend several years fighting agains my own catholic faith because of my attraction to girls and was very critical of the church and had lost faith) and has been very supportive of me even when i was afraid of how my coming out as a trans guy would affect our friendship but it has only made it stronger, his parents are very supportive of me and the first time his mom saw me after finding out that i was trans i remember she gave me a really thight hug and told me how proud and happy se was for me, his brothers have embraced me as another guy friend and we even talk about LGBTQ+ issues to help them see another perspective of things. I think is very true that the main issue with religion is that people use it as an excuse to be bad people with others, and i know plenty of people not only catholic but also mormon and many other religions who are open minded and love with all their hearts without thinking of sexual orientation or gender identity and i trully hope that more amazing religious people can find the way to show that not all are bad people and that they trully learn from their religion to love each other without judging anyone. i hope that anyone that reads this or listen to this amazin podcast have a great time and find those persons that are worth it
I finally listened to this episode today at work and I almost started crying when Becky cried. The whole topic of sexuality and organized religion was so emotional for me as it's taken years for me to work through the toxicity of growing up in a conservative Christian church. Thank you for talking about it! I agreed with everything you ladies had to say. Thank you Becky for being vulnerable and an amazing ally ❤
At 22, I still struggle with communication. Ariel's story on Carol reminds me of my ex BFF Alexandra. We went to school together our whole lives. Even as kids it seemed everybody flocked to her and I wondered those same things. I've learned to be more accepting of who I am and my personality.
I love how the ladies answered the 2nd question about being friends with parents and non-parents. I can very much relate as I myself have friends who already has kids and I don't have - by choice.
Thank y’all for not hating on fast fashion completely! I have a low income and I’m also plus sized and it’s SO FUCKING HARD to find affordable work clothes (or clothes in general) and ‘fast fashion’ options are almost always the cheapest choices and some brands actually have plus size unlike many stores.
I came from Spotify and I just had to leave a comment here, and share some love!!! This episode was so relatable and I appreciate these girls for tackling the topics so graciously. Being in Catholic and Baptist schools for most of my life, and having a communication problem and anxiety, I feel so heard! Thank you so much 🥰
I agree with Ariel. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but everyone thinks it is. I was bullied for being shy, and I'm still unfortunately greatly affected by it
this podcast has always felt like a wonderful conversation with your older sisters and it gives me so much piece and warmth. you ladies have created such a beautiful safe space for all🤍 also: i’ve seen the stories about the new photo shoot and apparently rachel is being added to the intro which is so exciting!!!
49:00 I started tearing up with Becky too. Her empathy is amazing and what she is describing is literally what happened to me and what i had fo go through as a gay child going through Christian schools and the church. It is so nice to see people like you guys who are empathetic and UNDERSTAND how messed up organized religion is. Thank you
At 49:27 we see one of the reasons why I love Rachel so much. Becky is upset, and Rachel just encourages her to feel her feelings, like “YES! Be Upset! Something is wrong.” That’s how you show someone their feelings are valid!
This was a great conversation! I am not Roman Catholic anymore (they don't ordain us women types 🙄), but I grew up going to CCD, too. I remember objecting and walking out of the sex ed class, complaining about things, and debating with the parish priest (who actually validated my concerns). Religion is a very dangerous thing, just in general. There is a lot of power (however you want to interpret that) in some of the stories and teachings, and humans often jump in and try to direct it without the self awareness necessary to do it. If we're making pronouncements on people for being people, we are being abusive. Our job is to, yes, love God, but love our neighbor just as much, no exceptions. Not on race, creed, sexuality, or income. Good on anyone who tells off bigoted people when necessary. What you're doing is a prophetic word.
I really appreciate Becky's comment about "clothes are made for thin people and it's easier to shop", I really felt that as a person who struggles to find nice pieces at thrift stores etc.
I too am anti organized religion. I was raised in one of the religious cults, won't name names, and I think that anything good that people get from organized religion, they can get in a multitude of other ways. Including just having their own personal relationship with whatever god(ess(s) they choose - without some old white dude telling them how to live every aspect of their lives. There is far too much bad that comes from organized religion for me to ever think it's worth keeping around for the tiny bits of good.
Strong agree, this is almost exactly how I feel. When people talk about how much good can come from these organizations, all I can think is how I've found those same good things elsewhere, without the predatory baggage.
@@movi3srock this is a quote from the EPA: “Petroleum solvents used in dry cleaning operations can release some toxic air pollutants and volatile organic compounds (VOC). Chemicals in these substances can react in the air to form ground-level ozone (smog), which has been linked to a number of respiratory effects.”
There are a lot of alternatives now. Also, dry cleaning is often very very good at recovering those chemicals. Very little is wasted as it is essentially a chemical solvent extract.
I went to CCD as well and I grew up Catholic. I also don’t believe in organized religion. I love what you said Becky about not using religion as a weapon. You are absolutely right religion is supposed to be a beautiful thing!! Love how real you all are and I cry too when I think about all the negativity some religious people put on others ❤️❤️❤️ 🤗
I grew up mormon and my entire family is still very very involved. I stopped practicing when I moved away to go to college 7 years ago, but my mom is in denial about that. I remember hearing about the second coming when I was 13 or so and how everyone not mormon was going to be destroyed by fire and all I could think about was my friends who were all non members. It scared the shit out of me and just wondered why if we’re supposed to love and cherish everyone, if we have free agency to make decisions, for a religion that preaches about love and kindness, and having a relationship with god, there’s a lot of judgement and small mindedness (on every topic, not just that). I knew there was something off but it wasn’t until recent years where I realized that organized religion as a while is a load of BS. It was shoved down my throat for over a decade and I gave the perfect allusion of saying all the right things, but I’m more in touch with spirituality and the universe on my own that I ever felt within a religion. I also don’t have kids, but my SO and I have been together for almost 8 years. My family constantly asks when we’re going to get married because as mormons, that’s the only reason 2 people get together. I don’t even know if I believe in the concept of marriage (we could be perfectly happy for our whole lives, unmarried) but somehow it’s made to feel like if I’m not married, my life is a waste. My parents and all of my sisters were married before/by 21 and starting families (I’m 25). I don’t usually comment on things, and this was longer than I wanted, but it’s so refreshing to hear strong, independent, well spoken women talk about such important issues. I don’t have a lot of girl friends (especially those who don’t believe in religion), but religion and politics/social issues have become so synonymous, it baffles me that people who preach love and acceptance, can often spew the most hate against our fellow humans. Love is love, black lives matter, indigenous lives matter, trans men are men, and trans women are women.
for anyone with style or fashion related questions especially ethically sourced and sustainable fashion, look up a Y.tuber named Justine Leconte!! shes a french fashion designer and her channel is very informative and she also seems like a really laidback and kind person! i love her videos!!
becky getting emotional talking about her friends who have been hurt by the church broke my heart. her empathy for other is inspiring
Time stamp?
@@emi-ye2hy 48:26
I always find her bitchy. Ariel is the one whos pure angel.
Becky talking about her speech impediments and difficulties communicating in childhood, then she basically drops a rap album in the Chime ad? I hope she's so proud of all of her progress
Becky and Maggie's outfits are matchy matchy!! Looks so satisfying watching it haha
SO matchy matchy! Both have the denim, the orange print, and then an accent of white- Maggie with her shirt, and Becky with her nails!
Omg I thought I was the only one! The matching colours and two completely different outfits are gorgeous! Also look at Ariel’s scrunchie on her hand, it matched their outfits too! 😳
I kept looking at them and thinking the print is so similar and matchy. love it!
Plus, Becky looks really good in this video. Of course, all the ladies are very lovely and look good in all of their videos.
Maggie's jacket being Zach's is not surprising. Zach's got a great jacket game.
Or more Maggie has a great jacket game that Zach greatly benefits from lol
@Luca Pontrelli wonder if he has a fashion stylist!
Me: Ariel is a QUEEN and FASHIONABLE and BEAUTIFUL
Ariel: I am a garbage human who wipes stuff on my jeans
YESSS!! The first time i saw Ariel all i could think about was how chic and put together and just STUNNING she was! (and still is)
What I love about Ariel is that her job requires a keen eye for style and form, but she's also just so down to earth, and basic in the very best most relatable way. I would never pick a favorite, because these are people, not ice cream flavors, but she really is so enjoyable to see in videos and hear on the podcast.
@@cubbance”these are people, not ice cream flavors” 💀
This is my first time watching. I heard the words come out of her mouth but it doesn't change a thing, she's a gorgeous being and she has no fault.
I am a 40 year old Catholic woman! I just want to say Being LGBTQ is not bad it’s who you are it’s the way God made you and God makes no mistakes. I guess I was very very lucky in the church that I grew up and I had a priest who made sure nobody at our church said stupid crap like that. In fact one of my CCD teachers was a gay man and served in our church.It’s really sad that people would make people feel so bad about who they are and use my beautiful religion to do it. And to hypocrites( because that’s what they are) The one to say stupid crap like that they need to go back and read what Jesus taught which is love not hate not being a judge mental asshole. He taught us to love all our brothers and sisters because we are all his children.
This is so important to hear for a gay Christian like me. Keep speaking up.
God bless you always Sarah, I hope you continue to speak up, speak out & share the love of Jesus the way you do.
Amen to all of this! LGBTQ+ friendly Catholics and churches are out there, but sometimes we all (especially other Catholics like me) need a little reminding. Thank you for sharing 🙏
THIS. 👏🏽
As someone who doesn't follow any religion (and have had prior negative experiences having to due with other's using religion in the wrong way), this comment makes me smile. We are all made equal, and made to love and be loved. It makes me happy to hear you found a Catholic church that respects every one of their worshippers. Keep spreading the love you are spreading! You are helping restore faith in more ways than one my friend.
Becky tearing up talking about queer kids' experiences with religion is about to make me cry. As someone who does have Catholic parents and is very queer, this was kind of heartwarming, if in a sad way. love y'all
i started crying at that bit too, raised catholic and hella gay. i wish someone told me as a kid being gay wasn’t some fucked up thing to hide.
@@menace2fish same. Hope you're doing better now 💜 happy pride
Same here, I cried when she cried and then I cried again because someone who I look way the hell up to cried for someone like me. Not calling Becky old, but I'm not used to people older than me going to bat for LGBTQIA+ kids. Becky's empathy is so touchingly profound and I adore her. The part of me that's still struggling with the abusiveness of my catholic upbringing has never felt this seen before and I feel you when it's heartwarming in a sad way. We deserved better. Sending you all the love, Parker
ariel is dressed like a female version of prince eric, i like it
and also shes named Ariel haha. she's their lovechild i guess
haha nice, she totally is!
I can’t unsee this!
I'm so mad that I read this at the end of the podcast and not at the beginning😂
Her whole wardrobe is very elegant
I bet they'll never see this BUT just in case, this is for Becky. I'm a young adult who is queer in multiple ways, and i was raised in a church where my grandfather was my pastor. When I was growing up know i was gay, I felt alone. When she spoke up and started crying about how queer children are treated in organized religion, it just made me feel SO seen. I teared up with her because her passion for love made me feel full of her compassion. If you see this Becky, please know how much you just made my day.
Rachel NEEDS to be added into the intro
Today on their IG stories they showed they’re doing a new photoshoot with everyone so I think those will be the new podcast intro pics!! Finally!!
I came here to say this!! Been thinking it since the beginning!!!
I also think she needs to be more explicitly referred to and included as a co-host. I understand she's also a TryGuys producer, but she's an integral part of this podcast in the role of co-host. This is a 4 person podcast hosted equally by all of them.
I know, they won't even call me back...
@@raeechil lol what!!
Not me trying to watch this while getting ready for work only to also cry angry tears with Becky. Growing up Catholic and being forced to go to CCD for a decade straight did nothing but illuminate a lot of hate and hypocrisy that drove me entirely away from religion. This was cathartic to hear.
Juliana, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I am a Christian and it ACHES me to read this stories, sending you lots of love and hope you are now in a better place ❤️
@@TheFerParra this is so sweet thank you! Luckily I was able to work through these challenges and am very happy with my life at current and have friends of all walks of religions who found a balance between their personal morals and religion. It isn't something I feel I lack but rather something I grew from.
I also grew up Catholic, went to CCD, and felt very alienated as a (at the time) gay guy. My experience also drove me from religion at a young age. For a long time I had a lot of fear and mistrust of religious people, and considered myself an antitheist. These days I'm a little more open to other people's beliefs, as long as they don't try to erase my atheism, which does happen sometimes.
I was raised religious and attended Catholic school. I've been openly pansexual for the last decade with everyone but my parents (so the entirety of my 20s). I prayed my entire youth to be straight. I absolutely hated myself. I had to work through it a lot in therapy. I just came out to my parents last week. There was a lot of gaslighting. They definitely don't 'approve' of it. They think it's a 'fad' and don't want to educated. But I feel so much more at peace with myself. I feel more free to be myself. I feel like a fully realized person around them now.
I went to Catholic school until 8th grade and then went to just a charter high school with no religion. My mom swears up and down that I stoped being Catholic because she didn’t put me in a Catholic high school. I don’t know how many ways I can explain to her that watching Catholics with their holier than thou attitudes while being rude to people is what drove me away. My high school had nothing to do with it. My own Catholic family drove me away from it
When Becky started to cry I started to cry to. I'm bisexual and grew up highly religious (am sorta now simply because I'm stuck and forced) and I've definitely wanted to die almost my whole life because I was taught that is the only way to be forgiven for sin, to be given mercy, to show you're really sorry, etc. I've been working on. These thoughts a long time but it still really hurts that this is the way it is for not just me but millions of queer kids like me.
Cece, I am sorry to hear the condemnation that you have been through. I am a Christian and I really want you to know that Jesus loves you and if you don’t feel free wherever you are you can still seek God through other ways. I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts also and understand how hard it is. Sending you lots of love ❤️
I almost wrote a similar thing, sending you love ❤️
Sending you ❤❤❤ and prayers. Jesus loves you and he wants u to love yourself also.
I totally feel the same way being a gay, non-binary man. I literally can relate to every single sentence you just wrote. It was really hard growing up. Especially because my country is homophobic too.
If you'd like I would love to give you my instagram or discord or whatever. We may suffer but we can do it together so we are stronger (i'm also open to providing my (anon) details to anyone else thats also LGBT and suffering).
sending you love from one lgbt person to another either way ❤️
@@kimberlythomas7028 I know you mean well by saying that, but please keep in mind that when speaking to someone who has been traumatized by the church, that even saying the words "jesus loves you" can be very triggering. I recognize that you and the other commenter probably see that as a comforting phrase, but to me and many other people it only stirs up more pain and past trauma to hear those words
When Becky cried I cried 🥺
Me too. I usually tear up when people I like or care about get emotional. It's instinctual, I think?
Me tooooo!
I went to an all-girls catholic school run by a nun and my whole grade was very vocal against the anti-LGBT+ rhetoric. I’m not Catholic anymore but I think if they keep saying we’re all created in the image of God and that God makes no mistakes, then by that logic gay is okay. There’s no way you were made ‘wrong’ and other people should never attempt to tell you who you are and who you should be. Be gay. It’s okay. It’s wonderful!
I’ve never had to make a choice between liking men or women. I’ve always inherently known that I was straight. By that same logic, no one “chooses” to be gay. They just are & that’s every bit as natural & real & acceptable as someone who is heterosexual.
Amen, Katherine!
@@amandalouise_ exactly
@@amandalouise_ Thank you! I knew I was gay before I knew what gay was. It's as natural and elemental to me as it would be for any straight person, yet some people still insist it's a choice. I'll never understand that leap in logic.
As a nondenominational Christian I love this! I fully support the LGBTQ+ community and God loves everyone no matter who you love PERIOD
I appreciate that you said you may loose friends. People think that everyone is mature and can have communication. But unfortunately not everyone thinks that way. Also meeting SO parents, they might be nervous to meet you. But even parents who love their kid, some think no one is good enough and will be mean for no reason. Those relationships are toxic and hard because you love your partner but not your in-laws.
Gosh if this isn’t the truth even in the work place communication doesn’t exist main reason why I just quit my job
Can Eugene come on to do the ladies' birth charts??? Would be so interested in even just knowing their signs!
Omg yes!!
please!!!!!
Awesome idea!!!
+
it wouldnt be for awhile since hes still on haitus working on other projects
Okay but nobody's talking about Zach holding Maggie's bags of spew for her while she's seasick in the boat and that it's absolute peak romance!
While my mother is a church goer she does use the phrase, “The church shoots their wounded,” fairly often. Meaning they hurt the ones they are supposed to be trying to heal.
When Becky started speaking on organized religion and how it’s so intertwined with the oppression of marginalized groups, I felt the passion in her voice and it brought me to tears right along with her! As someone who isn’t quite out but identifies as queer while being raised Christian, (I have also attended a Christian school) thank you for speaking out Becky, and all you lovely ladies!! That is such an important message to share, especially during pride month! 🥺❤️
*Maggie talking about Europeans wearing more Pull&Bear*
Meanwhile me, a Dutch girl, sitting in a full P&B outfit: "I'm not sure if that's true"
them talking about religion really resonated with me, like being raised catholic just made me feel so ashamed of myself all the time and then realizing that i didn't need religion to be considered a good person was so unbelievably liberating. it's so comforting hearing them talk about things i can't openly discuss with my family for fear of being just shot down and belittled
100%. I had a major surgery done in 2012 and my parent told me that I should be religious in case I die during surgery, so I could go to heaven. (I was 16.) That just further drove me away from religion. The ladies definitely gave me comfort when they talked about it as well.
Mia Maples did a wardrobe capsule for her mother which was AMAZING, she also did one for herself, but she did her whole wardrobe thrifted. It was the 1st time I ever heard of Wardrobe Capsule, It was so cool. Mama Maples wore it for 30 days and she says it made getting ready so much easier. I hate shopping, but someday I'd love to try it!
You can try and do a capsule wardrobe with what you already own and buy a few missing pieces! I had never actually heard of people purposely buying all new clothes for a capsule wardrobe, it seems strange to not actually start with what you already have
I love Ariel so much. She really represents a “real” person to me. I relate to her most out of all the ladies.
Her and Maggie are most authentic 💚
@@sawyer0815 but of course Becky and Rachel are down to earth and super lovely ladies!
@@sawyer0815 how do you gauge who is “most authentic” or less if you don’t know them personally? If you simply favor Maggie and Ariel, it’s fine to say that, but labeling the others as being disingenuous is oddly and unnecessarily judgmental and parades what is only your opinion as fact.
Ooookay, I have been waiting for the moment when Becky went off on religion. Here we go, this is my journey and how it relates to what you’ve said today.
I’m a 24 year old cradle catholic who was kicked out by my mother at 19 for coming out as bisexual, WHILE DATING A CIS MALE. The truth of the matter is I’m pan, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to conceive what that meant.
I spent my teenage years heavily entwined in the church- I was the leader of the 100+ member youth group; cantored weekly masses, special observances, and funerals; I was recognized as outstanding youth of the year by the archdiocese of Newark in 2014.
I followed this path by attending a Catholic college, where I was raped during my first month. When I told my mother, she dragged me into the car to go to confession, forced me to sit my entire family down (father, twin, and older brother) to tell them the “truth about what I’d been up to,” and then my parents pulled their financial support from the college forcing me to drop out at the end of the semester. 3 months later, 2 weeks before Christmas, I came out to my parents and was out of the house that night and never went back.
Suffice to say, I can’t say that I was *surprised* at my mother’s vitriol, but I was shocked by the acceptance I received from the pastor. I came to him immediately after packing my bags- he put me up in a motel until the following week when more accepting relatives could pick me up. He requested I attend one last mass before leaving.
The Sunday that followed my being kicked out, he preached that there is no such thing as a “good/bad” Catholic, for 2 reasons. 1st, faith is wholly personal. Everyone experiences their faith in an intensely individual way, which leaves no space for others to judge it. 2nd, faith is not about how devoutly you practice, but rather by how your faith is reflected in the people around you. Are people made better by your presence? Do you generally behave like a decent fucking human? Then you’re golden, good to go.
Needless to say I went through a journey of discovery and education and have come to a point in my journey where I am atheist. For me, religion is simply a way to face the day with the idea that there is someone supporting you from behind the curtains; regardless of the faith you follow. It was a great-and terrifying- day when I came to the realization that I shouldn’t need anyone’s support but my own, and that life was a journey that I both should and could make on my very own.
Maggie, I’m sorry that your sister had to defend herself in class, even if you say that she was ready to. Y’all said that she shouldn’t have to defend her opinion, and I offer a correction. No one should ever, ever have to defend or justify their state of being. That is their journey, and to be put into a position where you’re forced to defend your own story is inhumane and absurd.
Thank you for taking the time to discuss this sensitive topic. I’ve tried to keep this specific to my perspective, as again faith is wholly personal and I would never presume to tell someone what to believe or how to practice. I appreciate all of your bravery and compassion. XO
This comment is just so beautiful
Tips for work wardrobe (my style):
3-4 slacks in black or grey (maybe one fun color one)
4-7 work tops/blouses in various colors (I like patterns, and try and pick to a color scheme like blues and purples or red)
1-3 cardigans (one in black, cuz you can match with any color). Tip: wearing layers = look more polished.
1 pair of comfy, professional work shoes, in black.
Finally, have 1 white, collared shirt and 1 black blazer for interviews or networking events.
LAST NOTE: You can swap a few pants for skirts, if you prefer. Or dresses and cardigans.
Try and keep to a color scheme that you can mix and match. Example, red, white, and black. Or grey, color, and black and white.
I want a special video that's just Rachel and Becky heatedly/emotionally ranting about organized religion.
As someone who supports the queen community and is also catholic i feel like everyone should handle this conversation like you beautiful ladies have. You point out the flaws that exist but don't try to invalidate the persons beliefs. Its the perfect way to handle it👏👏👏 I wish people on both sides could handle it this way
I saw "queen community" and I thought this was about the british royal family. I was confused why the catholic were at odds with queen elizabeth for a hot second hehe
@@luckychonk9527 lmaoo i thought drag queens
Loving Becky and Maggies outfits like they are unintentionally matching ahhh I'm here for it
My long term boyfriend and I (5 years, and we don't plan on getting married) are child free by choice, and will continue to be. Our best friends have two girls, their oldest is almost three (almost the same as Ariel and Ned!). We have three cats, and they are our chosen children. For mother's and father's days, we got them gifts, but they also got us gifts. Writing in "cat" above "mother's/father day" on the cards. Friendship takes a lot of work, and people don't get that nowadays. Communication is a two way street!!!
Your friends sound amazing. My fiancé and I also intend to be child free and I worry about people not accepting us as a “family” because we don’t have kids. We also have two cats and they provide us with love and an outlet to nurture tiny cute things and we’re good with just that. Cheers, cat mom!
I can relate to the friendship conversation. I was the first of my friend group to have a child and I noticed as time passed they reached out to me less and less, and it felt like they were not willing to work around me anymore. I tried telling them that I really needed them, that I felt like I was drowning and needed reminding that I was more than just a parent. I realized that we naturally grew apart, that we didn’t have much in common anymore and that I wasn’t getting the support I needed from them. It’s really hard to let go of those friendships but I’ve reached a point where if I am not getting any reciprocal effort then I walk away because I know someday I will be able to have more balanced friendships.
Loving this! Just a lil heads up to Maggie: Pull & Bear are owned by Zara if you’re concerned about funding fast fashion, however P&B pieces have lasted me years so they’re still good quality!
This actually isn’t specifically directed to friends with kids for me but it can include them. I’m now at a point where I match energy in friendships. I really love my friends and I show up strong for them but if they don’t also show up strong for me I have to put some distance there. Of course there are always exceptions for example my best friend who is a mom is going through a tough time right now and I’ve been helping more…but at time’s where I’ve had a tough time she’s helped me more. She also vocalizes that she appreciates me and that’s very helpful. However if I notice a pattern unrelated to a tough time where I give more…I pull back and match the energy of that friend.
I grew up HEAVILY in religion. My father was (and still is) an evangelical pastor. I went to a Baptist Christian school from kindergarten to high school graduation. (Could truly go on and on about the emotional and mental abuse there but I won’t because it would take years lol)
I could go on and on about how brainwashed I was and how long it took me to deconstruct all of it and lay it all out on how I truly felt on things. It went on through college and probably until 7 or 8 years ago, I would’ve called myself a Republican. I voted Republican in my first election because that was all I knew and I literally thought Democrats or anything else was the enemy or seen as “sinful.”
It took a few lightbulb moments to get the ball rolling and being around people who didn’t grow up like me to fully get to where I am today. But it took serious time.
I’m liberal AF and I’m so proud of it now. There’s no place for me to tell anyone how to believe. But it’s also not theirs to tell me how to believe.
I’m so proud that this girl already knows that homophobia has no place in any setting and that she stood up for herself because like y’all said, religion can be a safe haven if you practice in a way that’s not hateful or discriminatory.
Good on her and I want to give Becky a hug because I get that way too when those topics come up in conversation 🤗
I'm sorry you had to go through what you did to get to the point you are now. I know it couldn't have been easy to question everything you'd been taught and everything you believed. But I'm glad you did that. I wish more people would make the I'm sure painful and uncomfortable choice to question the things that simply "accept" as truth. If more people did, maybe this country wouldn't be so divided and more people would come to the conclusions you came to.
I had a similar journey - couldn't break out of those harmful patterns ingrained in me as a child until I was in my early 20s. I can't tell you how relieved I felt to discover that hell didn't exist, that sin didn't exist, that God or Jesus or whoever wasn't actually going to come back and kill us all. I was CONSTANTLY terrified that Revelations was going to start actually happening any day. It's probably why I have an anxiety disorder now. 😒
@@janhankins911 very much agreed! It was a long journey for me. That’s why I strongly believe that being a kind example to everyone may spur them on a journey of their own 🙂
I go to university now with lots of students who grew up similarly to you and I have to say I’m proud of you!
Becky talking about the LGBTQIA+ community brought me to tears. I just came out publicly and my family is not supportive (they haven’t kicked me out or anything but it’s still not going well). Hearing someone get so emotional just from having the empathy to really see someone who is different from you was like breathing for the first time. Thank you ladies for making us feel safe and welcomed as ourselves. And happy pride. 🏳️🌈♥️
Happy pride to you too! I'm so sorry your family doesn't accept you, I hope you have friends that do and that they will support you! Even if you don't yet, you will, and in the mean time we are here for you!
I hope you are well!
Wait! I want all of Rachel's wardrobe! And she didn't tell us where she buys! Rachel where do you get your gorgeous unique clothes?!
If you have instagram, check hers out, she often shares where her clothes come from, as well as the twins'!
What a great episode. Just like, all of them. But episodes where you go after the big intense questions are my absolute favorite.
On Becky’s point about CCD telling kids that non-Catholics won’t go to heaven, literally Pope Francis told a child whose father died not being Catholic that his being a good man was enough for him to go to heaven.
So many Catholics and Christians forget the first two tenets of Christ’s teachings. Love God and love your neighbour, and that loving one is loving the other and they cannot be exclusive.
Yeah that was surprising because I was taught in Catholic school that Christians and Jewish people go to heaven provided they were good people (which is problematic in its own right- I don’t know if we were ever told what would happen to Muslim/Hindu etc folks) and I remember being rather shocked when I left Catholic school at the conflict between other sects of Christianity.
the last straw for me breaking away from religion entirely was the majority of my family members not coming to my sisters wedding to a woman bc she was "damning her soul to hell". I no longer have contact with pretty much all of them and I do not regret it.
I wish more sustainable clothing was accessible for petites. Im almost forced to shop at these fast fashion stores because they are the ones that have clothes I actually fit into. Short and tall women need more options!
48:37 when Becky teared up, I started to cry 😞 She makes me feel seen. I’ve been hiding my identity for so long and I will most likely continue to do so because I’m freaking scared of my parents and family disowning me or treating me as an outsider. I’ve had countless nights where I debated whether I should live through torture or just end it all. I’m so grateful for the few friends that love me right now, but I’m terrified of what’s coming for me in the future. I just hope that one day, the whole world will see the LGBTQ+ community as human beings.
I do like that they’re talking about sustainability and fast fashion. Awesome!!
I'm an old lady and had never heard of fast fashion before. I've begun doing some research and am simply aghast (although given human nature, I'm not sure why I'm so aghast). I will most certainly be more aware of shopping for my clothes from now on! Thanks for the education.
I love Becky and Maggie so much they are angels😭Ariel and Rachel are like the cutest humans ever and are such amazing moms they need to be protected forever and ever❤️❤️
Becky those tears were a whole mood and I feel all of it. Thank you for feeling so passionate on something so important.
And Rachel I appreciate and respect you saying you can't even talk about it without raging, I feel that vibe often too.
Becky meeee toooo! The sensory/fit/fabric issues trying to buy clothes are a nightmare. I literally find something I like, buy as many as I can afford of it and wear it until it dies. Then I still wear it but try to layer to cover the holes and stains lmao
I look forward to these episodes the whole week!!!
I graduated and went right into interior design. I struggled so much with getting professional clothes, but looking "trendy" and having a "style", while making not very much money. I recommend somewhere like Aritzia for dress pants that are a little more exciting / newer styles than suit pants. They hold up pretty well too for lots of wear. Couple pairs of black, navy, classic patterns. Buy a pair of really great jeans that fit well, feel professional. I'd get 1 or 2 button downs, maybe also from somewhere like Aritzia, that are nice, classic, and can be dressed up or down. Then I'd fill in the blanks with "fun" tops, skirts, shoes, more fun pants, from somewhere like Marshalls. Just keep in mind the material and "can I throw this in the wash and it won't shrink 3 sizes?"
It did definitely feel though like my first year of work was constantly using my paycheck to fill in gaps and keep building it. But breaking it down per paycheck was more doable than buying a huge whole wardrobe all at once.
I am such a sympathetic crier... I was not expecting to cry this episode, but Becky got me lol. Such a great conversation.
these were rly good questions today, my fellow listeners are so well spoken and thoughtful ❤️ hope y'all have a great whatever time of day you are listening to this
For clothes I’d definitely recommend a mix of new & thrifted. For staple items like dress pants and good shoes, definitely do new. If you’re in an industry that allows for some more unconventional style, I love doing thrifted blazers especially from the men’s section as it can give a really unique shape & sometimes some super fun patterns!
Ariel is so so pretty. I know we always talk about it, but she has such chill, chic, older sister(?)/cousin energy. Like it’s both so calming and welcoming yet kind of intimidating at the same time.
Yes, Repair! Buy higher quality boots and shoes bc they can be repaired and cleaned by a cobbler for like $10-$20 a year or twice a year! I know that upfront price isn't doable for everyone, but if you can, I highly recommend.
i’m child free by choice as well - to the question regarding that (if you’re reading this) - i think the best option is to be frank with your friends. let them know that you love hearing about their kids and their accomplishments, but don’t necessarily love hearing about random peoples anatomy and pregnancy/etc.
So as a child free person, I don’t think you guys quite understand what it feels like to be the child free person in the friend group. Becky touched on it a bit but it goes deeper. I know both Maggie and Becky want kids, so it’s a bit more when you don’t want kids. Parents do often lose a lot of what makes them them when they have kids. There’s a fundamental change. Parents also do tend to think their problems trump child free problems and it’s so so obnoxious. We have lives too.
They should start listing where they got their outfits in the description!
Thank you Becky! I'm in my 30s and just now able to start claiming my identity after a lifetime of being taught to hate myself. Seeing you moved to tears on the topic means a lot (and also moved me to tears)
the highlight of my day right here
9:16 Fun(?) fact Pull & Bear is from the same Spanish company that made Zara (along with Bershka, Stradivarius)
I was about to comment that Maggie was radiating and then I saw everyone else too and you're all radiating
aww becky
i agree that religion should NOT be used as a reason to be a bad person.
I had a VERY heated conversation with some VERY ignorant boys in my class who said some transphobic and homophobic things. (don’t worry i took care of them quite well (it wasn’t TOO violent, but i did throw a few tennis balls but none of them actually got hit)) btw i’m not religious and im also bisexual.
I’m glad that you guys talked about this and showed true emotion over what needs it. All y’all are amazing
48:35 I'm not crying you are. there is definitely no talking my friends out of unaliving themselves trauma here.
Vera Wang’s “Simply Vera” line at Kohl’s has GREAT black trousers for all shapes and sizes and they’re stretchy with fake back pockets so they don’t look like leggings. My go-to for work pants!
Becky crying broke my heart. I have a tender heart like her and cry regularly because my friends and loved ones are being hurt just because they want to live their most authentic self. It's heartbreaking.
So many good topics were covered today. As always, I love hearing y'alls experiences and perspectives.
I always enjoy this show, even when they're covering topics that aren't specifically relevant to me, and frequently I have no idea what they're talking about. Like, I have no clue what fast fashion is, but I enjoyed this discussion anyway.
So, fast fashion is about cheap & poor quality clothes intentionally so you buy more and more. Sometimes is good to invest in good quality clothes for a higher price cuz they will last forever! (As Rachel's swimsuit)
But also keep in mind that some brands are soooo overrated, and their high prices don't mean hugh quality, just status...
@@romacarv Thank you for clarifying for me. I appreciate you!
@@cubbance The low prices of fast fashion also rely on the badly sourced materials that are very polutting and the explotation of workers (mostly women of color) who are not paid liveable wages and have bad working conditions. It's pretty bad all around and it should be avoided when people can afford it
Thank you so much for saying what you said about organized religion. I was right there tearing up with Becky. My brother came out as transgender a few years ago - as an adult. And why as an adult and not earlier? Because my family was extremely conservative Baptists. We were raised hearing from preachers how homosexuality is a sin and they're going to Hell. That was fact to us/them. No one in my whole life questioned it (well, besides me, but I have many other issues with religion which don't even pertain to this). I watched as other parents turned their backs on their kids or sent them to conversion therapy - which makes me absolutely sick to think about. But I am so lucky to have the family I have. They did a COMPLETE 180 when my brother came out - which shocked me honestly. I never thought my parents would change their minds - and it was immediate. I think when you are faced with your child telling you this, you basically have 2 choices - be a crappy parent and turn your back on your own child - or BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD! Crappy parent option wasn't even considered by my folks. I think it took my mom one look at statistics on suicide for transgender people (seriously scary!) who have no family support for my mom to just embrace my brother AS HE IS no questions asked - it was simply you are my child and I love you no matter what - no judgement. And I think the one huge lesson we learned was we don't have to fully understand it. If you aren't transgender, there is no way you are going to fully understand it. But accept your family and friends who are going through this and just trying to learn to live and love themselves. You are their family and if your child, sibling - whatever the case may be - can't feel supported, this world is harsh already and will crush them. They need a safe haven and they need that to be the same safe haven they've had their whole lives - their family. Now, I'm so proud - especially of my mom - who is taking it as a personal mission to council Christian families who are coming from the same background that we did, on how to show that love and accept your children/siblings/friends who are LGBTQ+ because news flash - you can be a Christian and fully be an Ally. I love what you said - that listener is 110% a better Catholic than that other person. Lead and Live with Love!
I am not a mom, but I am 26 and for the past 5 years, I have been a staple figure in my two nephews' lives. I have dropped so much and stepped back from a lot of people because my friends couldn't understand why all my time was going to raising two beautiful babies. I still feel alone at times because my best friends needed me to put them first- and I just couldn't. I try to always ask people how they are doing because I really wanted my friends to do that to me.
Thank you for letting me sit with you guys
I have a corporate job and I can tell you I 100% wear the exact same pair of pants 4x a week (then jeans on Friday 😊)
BECKY & RACHEL, MY ANTI RELIGION, ALLY, QUEENS! As someone who was a queer kid in the church, thank you for speaking so passionately about this issue. I always feel so seen as a listener & member of your audience. I feel more loved in this space than I ever did in the church. 🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤
The first time I met my fiance's parents I literally got a phone call 30 seconds earlier and had my ass fired over the phone. I had to dry the tears suck it all down and put on the QT I'm a perfect fit for your son face. Fast forward 10 plus years were still together everything's golden and I'm a super successful nurse.
i LOVE that zach and maggie share clothes 🥺 im a mid sized thiccy but my boyfriend is zach sized and the same height as me so i cant even steal a hoodie unless its oversized on him lmao
While watching, I'm actually sewing a matching linen short and blazer set. :)
i got emotional when becky and maggie where talking about their experience with orginized religion and made me think of my best friend and his family, they are very active catholics and i still dont know how the heck my friend, Rick and i end up being best friends... we have talked several times about how being friends helped him overcome his homophobia and begin to understand that we all have so much things that make us who we are, he knew me before i transitioned (and by then i had spend several years fighting agains my own catholic faith because of my attraction to girls and was very critical of the church and had lost faith) and has been very supportive of me even when i was afraid of how my coming out as a trans guy would affect our friendship but it has only made it stronger, his parents are very supportive of me and the first time his mom saw me after finding out that i was trans i remember she gave me a really thight hug and told me how proud and happy se was for me, his brothers have embraced me as another guy friend and we even talk about LGBTQ+ issues to help them see another perspective of things. I think is very true that the main issue with religion is that people use it as an excuse to be bad people with others, and i know plenty of people not only catholic but also mormon and many other religions who are open minded and love with all their hearts without thinking of sexual orientation or gender identity and i trully hope that more amazing religious people can find the way to show that not all are bad people and that they trully learn from their religion to love each other without judging anyone. i hope that anyone that reads this or listen to this amazin podcast have a great time and find those persons that are worth it
I have had similar experiences to you. I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Thank you so much for sharing.
I finally listened to this episode today at work and I almost started crying when Becky cried. The whole topic of sexuality and organized religion was so emotional for me as it's taken years for me to work through the toxicity of growing up in a conservative Christian church. Thank you for talking about it! I agreed with everything you ladies had to say. Thank you Becky for being vulnerable and an amazing ally ❤
At 22, I still struggle with communication. Ariel's story on Carol reminds me of my ex BFF Alexandra. We went to school together our whole lives. Even as kids it seemed everybody flocked to her and I wondered those same things. I've learned to be more accepting of who I am and my personality.
I love how the ladies answered the 2nd question about being friends with parents and non-parents. I can very much relate as I myself have friends who already has kids and I don't have - by choice.
Thank y’all for not hating on fast fashion completely! I have a low income and I’m also plus sized and it’s SO FUCKING HARD to find affordable work clothes (or clothes in general) and ‘fast fashion’ options are almost always the cheapest choices and some brands actually have plus size unlike many stores.
I came from Spotify and I just had to leave a comment here, and share some love!!! This episode was so relatable and I appreciate these girls for tackling the topics so graciously. Being in Catholic and Baptist schools for most of my life, and having a communication problem and anxiety, I feel so heard! Thank you so much 🥰
Maggie’s outfit is straight fire
Seeing Becky being so emotional and so passionate about topics, politics whatever is so beautiful and I love her
I agree with Ariel. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but everyone thinks it is. I was bullied for being shy, and I'm still unfortunately greatly affected by it
this podcast has always felt like a wonderful conversation with your older sisters and it gives me so much piece and warmth. you ladies have created such a beautiful safe space for all🤍
also: i’ve seen the stories about the new photo shoot and apparently rachel is being added to the intro which is so exciting!!!
49:00 I started tearing up with Becky too. Her empathy is amazing and what she is describing is literally what happened to me and what i had fo go through as a gay child going through Christian schools and the church. It is so nice to see people like you guys who are empathetic and UNDERSTAND how messed up organized religion is. Thank you
At 49:27 we see one of the reasons why I love Rachel so much. Becky is upset, and Rachel just encourages her to feel her feelings, like “YES! Be Upset! Something is wrong.” That’s how you show someone their feelings are valid!
fun fact: pull and bear and zara (bershka too!) are all owned by the same parent company!
This was a great conversation! I am not Roman Catholic anymore (they don't ordain us women types 🙄), but I grew up going to CCD, too. I remember objecting and walking out of the sex ed class, complaining about things, and debating with the parish priest (who actually validated my concerns).
Religion is a very dangerous thing, just in general. There is a lot of power (however you want to interpret that) in some of the stories and teachings, and humans often jump in and try to direct it without the self awareness necessary to do it. If we're making pronouncements on people for being people, we are being abusive. Our job is to, yes, love God, but love our neighbor just as much, no exceptions. Not on race, creed, sexuality, or income.
Good on anyone who tells off bigoted people when necessary. What you're doing is a prophetic word.
I really appreciate Becky's comment about "clothes are made for thin people and it's easier to shop", I really felt that as a person who struggles to find nice pieces at thrift stores etc.
I too am anti organized religion. I was raised in one of the religious cults, won't name names, and I think that anything good that people get from organized religion, they can get in a multitude of other ways. Including just having their own personal relationship with whatever god(ess(s) they choose - without some old white dude telling them how to live every aspect of their lives. There is far too much bad that comes from organized religion for me to ever think it's worth keeping around for the tiny bits of good.
Strong agree, this is almost exactly how I feel. When people talk about how much good can come from these organizations, all I can think is how I've found those same good things elsewhere, without the predatory baggage.
Agree with you all the way to the top!
I don’t know why i like to listen you gals chatting so much 🥰
Just saying: the dry clean process is terrible for the environment
Why is it bad for the environment?
@@movi3srock this is a quote from the EPA:
“Petroleum solvents used in dry cleaning operations can release some toxic air pollutants and volatile organic compounds (VOC). Chemicals in these substances can react in the air to form ground-level ozone (smog), which has been linked to a number of respiratory effects.”
It is. Luckily there's wet cleaning and other more eco-friendly alternatives out there now!
There are a lot of alternatives now. Also, dry cleaning is often very very good at recovering those chemicals. Very little is wasted as it is essentially a chemical solvent extract.
I love the passion that these ladies have
this was such a good episode and topics!!
Love you gals!! Thank you for spreading love and kindness
Awwww, I love you guys. You’re all such lovely and kind people 🥺
I went to CCD as well and I grew up Catholic. I also don’t believe in organized religion. I love what you said Becky about not using religion as a weapon. You are absolutely right religion is supposed to be a beautiful thing!! Love how real you all are and I cry too when I think about all the negativity some religious people put on others ❤️❤️❤️ 🤗
I grew up mormon and my entire family is still very very involved. I stopped practicing when I moved away to go to college 7 years ago, but my mom is in denial about that. I remember hearing about the second coming when I was 13 or so and how everyone not mormon was going to be destroyed by fire and all I could think about was my friends who were all non members. It scared the shit out of me and just wondered why if we’re supposed to love and cherish everyone, if we have free agency to make decisions, for a religion that preaches about love and kindness, and having a relationship with god, there’s a lot of judgement and small mindedness (on every topic, not just that). I knew there was something off but it wasn’t until recent years where I realized that organized religion as a while is a load of BS. It was shoved down my throat for over a decade and I gave the perfect allusion of saying all the right things, but I’m more in touch with spirituality and the universe on my own that I ever felt within a religion.
I also don’t have kids, but my SO and I have been together for almost 8 years. My family constantly asks when we’re going to get married because as mormons, that’s the only reason 2 people get together. I don’t even know if I believe in the concept of marriage (we could be perfectly happy for our whole lives, unmarried) but somehow it’s made to feel like if I’m not married, my life is a waste. My parents and all of my sisters were married before/by 21 and starting families (I’m 25).
I don’t usually comment on things, and this was longer than I wanted, but it’s so refreshing to hear strong, independent, well spoken women talk about such important issues. I don’t have a lot of girl friends (especially those who don’t believe in religion), but religion and politics/social issues have become so synonymous, it baffles me that people who preach love and acceptance, can often spew the most hate against our fellow humans. Love is love, black lives matter, indigenous lives matter, trans men are men, and trans women are women.
Love you guys. Love you Becky!! So right about everything you touched on.
49:00 Thank you Becky🥺💕
So excited for another episode
I think it's so funny when Maggie talks about a brand being more european than Zara when it's a spanish brand and people everywhere in europe wear it
I think she meant that people in the US don't shop as much in pull&bear as people in Europe
for anyone with style or fashion related questions especially ethically sourced and sustainable fashion, look up a Y.tuber named Justine Leconte!! shes a french fashion designer and her channel is very informative and she also seems like a really laidback and kind person! i love her videos!!
I have never heard of her even though I'm french, thank you for the recommendation, I'll check her out!
24:23 literally Ned sometimes 😂😂 of course we love him anyway!!