*So sorry for the loss of sound at the beginning. Working on fixing that now! *Sometimes it's difficult to identify harmful family behaviors when you are in it. To learn how to identify these behaviors, check out my previous live chat on this issue: th-cam.com/users/liveIkY-WAhC8gQ.
I'm sure it's tricky when you are a psychologist/scientist and have to stay within the bounds of certain guidelines and training, but much of what was discussed seems, to me, to tread the lines of dealing with spirituality, especially the allusion to epigenetics. Love the learning!
Yes. That is a good point! You do have to be careful and I find myself walking that line so much anymore. As you can see on the channel, I come back to the topic of spirituality (evil, courage, existentialism, etc.) as much as I can.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Oh... it's no complaint; I love the idea of understanding these issues from a spiritual perspective. The interesting thing that many probably overlook is that "psyche" actually means 'spirit', so somewhere back in the beginnings of this discipline, physicians were delving into it all from spiritual vantage points... so keep deep diving with us!
I like kind, honest people. I have disengaged from the toxicity city of damaged Family and people, no contact, no want of the same. I haven't given up on trying to be a better person from what I have experienced.
My husband’s family has a lot of toxic traits. I’m no contact with them but they sided with the Mom for family alienation with her 2 sisters. And the Mom has also alienated other members of their family. They don’t see it’s her as the issue. They are blind and in denial. She is the cult leader. My husband watches horror movies and is intrigued by cults (Manson and such), yet he doesn’t see that he’s in a cult himself. It’s really odd. Great video Tamra!! Thank you for uploading.👍🏻
That's living in denial. I had a fixation about the Holocaust and watched lots of documentaries about the extermination camps. I couldn't understand why since they are so painful to watch. I knew I was always the one being criticized for everything but still I couldn't see I was the scapegoat. It's hard to accept your family just used you and abused you and that they don't want to see you happy and at peace. I was watching how evil people can be to people but I couldn't connect it with my family role.😢
I spent 2,000+ days in that mess. My brother and sister too. I recognize bipolar and narcissist disorder in my mother. I'm free from it all with no plans of ever returning. Much ❤ to you Tamara! Go Steelers
I am trying very hard to cut myself off from my family. I am tired of hearing that I chose to not graduate college, how I should be a Nurse and how I choose not to place life insurance on my Wife. I am treated like an idiot and I am tired of it. All that I want to do is enjoy what time I have left on this blue marble and go on to the next chapter. Life should not be this hard.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It is painful and disregarding of your own needs. I understand a family trying to help another family member see that their decisions may be premature, immature, or not appropriate. I also understand that some families try to push their younger family members into making wise decisions but if you don't see the "wisdom" in the lesson, it's easier to get frustrated and just start ignoring or walking away from your family. Although a peaceful life is not promised to any of us, you can and should make changes so that you won't have to face this toxic family dynamic for the rest of your life.
The “we raised your sibling since birth and not you” dynamic had really wrecked me psychologically and emotionally… we never chose who got to raise us…
Yes. I agree. It's more common than we think. The majority of these cases never come to therapy and never mention the challenges to their primary care doctors. So there is more secrecy around this topic as time goes on.
5:10 This is what my mom did when my sister passed (my mom was highly abusive and her and my sister didn't have a relationship). She fought tooth and nail to gain ownership of her property and kicked the people who were living there out.
Hitting it out of the park again! Great video! Thank you! Does BPD typically have a tinge (or more) of narcissism to it? I seem to find glimpses of narcisistic traits when reading but I don't know if it is the same.
This is a good question Cam! BPD can actually overlap with narcissism, especially when it comes to having a fragile ego and self-esteem issues. Relationship challenges are often the same such as not being able to see outside of their own bubble or struggling with being equal and reciprocol in the relationship. There is also sometimes a self-centeredness that comes with both disorders. Everyone is different where some may or may not have narcissistic traits along with BPD.
Yes it’s annoying and weird. I have no hard feelings I just don’t get their drama. Can they train people social workers or police more with unhealthy family members. Abuse etc where it’s kinda weird like causing issues at jobs
Refreshing to hear someone describe it as evil. I'm pretty tired of hearing it described in the survivor community or by therapists in softer terms. It's as if we think that by choosing superlative or more emotionally charged words that we're engaging in the same irrational and aggressive name-calling as our abusers did. Or that because we were so rigidly labeled and judged ourselves that we mustn't judge or label anyone else, ever, lest we embrace hypocrisy. But in some circumstances, the sane, healthy thing to do is to call a thing what it truly is.
You are right..But I cant hear it..Its like you said it..its just evil...I dont want to see statistics about suicide due to the fact of such sociopathic family members
*So sorry for the loss of sound at the beginning. Working on fixing that now!
*Sometimes it's difficult to identify harmful family behaviors when you are in it. To learn how to identify these behaviors, check out my previous live chat on this issue: th-cam.com/users/liveIkY-WAhC8gQ.
I'm sure it's tricky when you are a psychologist/scientist and have to stay within the bounds of certain guidelines and training, but much of what was discussed seems, to me, to tread the lines of dealing with spirituality, especially the allusion to epigenetics. Love the learning!
Yes. That is a good point!
You do have to be careful and I find myself walking that line so much anymore. As you can see on the channel, I come back to the topic of spirituality (evil, courage, existentialism, etc.) as much as I can.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Oh... it's no complaint; I love the idea of understanding these issues from a spiritual perspective. The interesting thing that many probably overlook is that "psyche" actually means 'spirit', so somewhere back in the beginnings of this discipline, physicians were delving into it all from spiritual vantage points... so keep deep diving with us!
Good thing to point out! Yes. Most people do not know this. The field did us a grave injustice to attempt to separate the two fields.
I like kind, honest people. I have disengaged from the toxicity city of damaged Family and people, no contact, no want of the same.
I haven't given up on trying to be a better person from what I have experienced.
My husband’s family has a lot of toxic traits. I’m no contact with them but they sided with the Mom for family alienation with her 2 sisters. And the Mom has also alienated other members of their family. They don’t see it’s her as the issue. They are blind and in denial. She is the cult leader. My husband watches horror movies and is intrigued by cults (Manson and such), yet he doesn’t see that he’s in a cult himself. It’s really odd. Great video Tamra!! Thank you for uploading.👍🏻
Oh my. I'm sorry this is the dynamic.😔 I'm preparing a live chat for next week on family cults. Stay tuned.
That's living in denial. I had a fixation about the Holocaust and watched lots of documentaries about the extermination camps. I couldn't understand why since they are so painful to watch. I knew I was always the one being criticized for everything but still I couldn't see I was the scapegoat. It's hard to accept your family just used you and abused you and that they don't want to see you happy and at peace. I was watching how evil people can be to people but I couldn't connect it with my family role.😢
So true they are passing down their curses a d diseases! We free ourselves and kids❤
Agree. Somewhere intergenerational trauma has to end.
I spent 2,000+ days in that mess. My brother and sister too. I recognize bipolar and narcissist disorder in my mother. I'm free from it all with no plans of ever returning. Much ❤ to you Tamara! Go Steelers
I am trying very hard to cut myself off from my family. I am tired of hearing that I chose to not graduate college, how I should be a Nurse and how I choose not to place life insurance on my Wife. I am treated like an idiot and I am tired of it. All that I want to do is enjoy what time I have left on this blue marble and go on to the next chapter. Life should not be this hard.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It is painful and disregarding of your own needs. I understand a family trying to help another family member see that their decisions may be premature, immature, or not appropriate. I also understand that some families try to push their younger family members into making wise decisions but if you don't see the "wisdom" in the lesson, it's easier to get frustrated and just start ignoring or walking away from your family.
Although a peaceful life is not promised to any of us, you can and should make changes so that you won't have to face this toxic family dynamic for the rest of your life.
The “we raised your sibling since birth and not you” dynamic had really wrecked me psychologically and emotionally… we never chose who got to raise us…
Yes, this is definitely so real.
Most families. It's wild. I wouldn't do my kids that way.
Yes. I agree. It's more common than we think. The majority of these cases never come to therapy and never mention the challenges to their primary care doctors. So there is more secrecy around this topic as time goes on.
@@TherapistTamaraHill the families want to force positions.
"Just passing thru!"
Thanks for Sharing this very Informative!"🏹
My pleasure! Thanks for watching.
Thank you for this resource 🎉❤
You are so welcome! Thanks for watching.
5:10 This is what my mom did when my sister passed (my mom was highly abusive and her and my sister didn't have a relationship). She fought tooth and nail to gain ownership of her property and kicked the people who were living there out.
Hitting it out of the park again! Great video! Thank you!
Does BPD typically have a tinge (or more) of narcissism to it? I seem to find glimpses of narcisistic traits when reading but I don't know if it is the same.
This is a good question Cam!
BPD can actually overlap with narcissism, especially when it comes to having a fragile ego and self-esteem issues. Relationship challenges are often the same such as not being able to see outside of their own bubble or struggling with being equal and reciprocol in the relationship. There is also sometimes a self-centeredness that comes with both disorders. Everyone is different where some may or may not have narcissistic traits along with BPD.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for the explanation! That makes sense.
Thanks!
Welcome! And thank you!! Appreciate your contributions on the channel, your membership, your community spirit, etc. God bless you!
So much of this sounds like my family cult.
I'm so sorry. Stay tuned for my live chat next week because I discuss family cults.
Has anyone ever been haunted when dealing with demonic family members, like experiencing a lot of paranormal activity??
@lvlthe8640 yes I have. There is a significant spiritual side to all of this.
Yes it’s annoying and weird. I have no hard feelings I just don’t get their drama. Can they train people social workers or police more with unhealthy family members. Abuse etc where it’s kinda weird like causing issues at jobs
Yes. That makes sense. Sometimes it's a toxic pattern of behavior that even they aren't aware of or care to change.
Refreshing to hear someone describe it as evil. I'm pretty tired of hearing it described in the survivor community or by therapists in softer terms. It's as if we think that by choosing superlative or more emotionally charged words that we're engaging in the same irrational and aggressive name-calling as our abusers did. Or that because we were so rigidly labeled and judged ourselves that we mustn't judge or label anyone else, ever, lest we embrace hypocrisy. But in some circumstances, the sane, healthy thing to do is to call a thing what it truly is.
Yes my daughter wanted to be tinkerbell and wanted a blonde wig. They gave me crap said I was racist they do this 24/7 it’s embarrassing
You are right..But I cant hear it..Its like you said it..its just evil...I dont want to see statistics about suicide due to the fact of such sociopathic family members
Good evening
Same to you! Hope you are doing well.
What does it mean when a family member is always copying and trying to out do you
Family cult 😉
📗✍️