Kuningan Run

Hash Trash Run #1631 09 March 2024
Saturday March 9th
- Hari Raya Kuningan in Bali . . . and BHHH2 Day
“Bonjour, Krystal Tits! 69er here . . . Would you & 6 of 9 still like a lift to the run later
today?”
“Oh - that would be lovely. Thanks.”
“OK. Ringtail and I will pick you two up as usual on the Sayan Rd at 2.30, alright?”
“Merci! See you there”
“Great! Should be a nice day down at the beach at Keramas. It’ll make a change after all
the rainy runs lately. Pearl Necklace has done a great job finding a run site and setting
the trail. Snowballer and the family have gone there early for a day at the beach . . .
and a beer of course. See you guys later”
Later . . .
“Well, crap! The rain’s a bit early and a trifle heavy. Barnacle Balls describes it as
‘Biblical’. There are warnings out from Konkorde and Used Tampon about road closures
and heavy traffic today. That's not unusual for Kuningan morning - don't know about
l’après-midi though. We'll keep in touch re pick up time & place - see how things pan
out”
“It should quiet down a bit as the ceremonies wrap up? I’m told they’re usually done by
2pm”
“Yes, that's our take as well. What if we leave at 2.15 and head
downhill out of this deluge? Our cat reckons he’s home & dry
though. He’s going nowhere!”
“Sensible cat! OK - we’ll see you soon”
Later . . . en route
“The road’s not too bad. I thought it’d be running like a river down here. At least I can
see where the edges are”
“Yes - 6 of 9 probably won’t need her umbrella”
A little later . . . approaching the run site @ Keramas
“Ah sh*t! It’s getting heavy again here. Should clear up soon though, I reckon.
It’s funny that our friend thinks BHHH2 should run more often down this way. She can’t
remember when it last rained in Sanur”
“Maybe we need to arrange a ceremony!”
At the parking . . .
“Oh - it’s a bloody lake! I’ll get the umbrellas . . . ”
Krystal’s bits . . .
And so, everyone got out their umbrellas. Well, everyone except the children, the dogs,
and people like Gudang who just thought the rain was refreshing. Sure, as refreshing and
new and fun as day-old offal left in the sun. This scribe is over it.
Still, the combination of rain and our wantilan-less situation did allow for a
comprehensive review of umbrella fashion.
Umbrellas
Things started off with a bang when Penis Collector showed up
with this lovely peacock number. But an
umbrella is not just a pretty object. It has a
role to play, a bit like a Religious Advisor. It
has to function and keep water off you
(clearly, this should apply to both the RA
and the umbrella, but sadly, one of those
was deficient yesterday. But I digress.)
Anyway, Part II of the downpour saw Penis
Collector with a new number, equally
colourful. Mantap!
Many umbrellas were pretty, fun…
cheery even. Something about bright
colours on an otherwise dreary day
making the world a better place. Like
lipstick on a bloated pig carcass or
something. At least you tried.
But then there are the pragmatists.
Those who just want the biggest damn
umbrella possible, at the lowest price
(hello branded marketing material
umbrellas). They know they’re going to
forget it somewhere sooner or later.
Why go through all the trouble of
picking a nice one out. You can’t really
see it from under there anyway. Who
cares what the others have to look at
during circle as long as rainwater
doesn’t get in your beer.
Winners in this category include our HM and RA, as well
as the guy with the ACE umbrella (sorry, no photo) and a
few others.
That said, the HM’s umbrella must not have
been doing a good job, since his hash notes
looked like so much shredded trail paper
after a deluge. Maybe it was just the angle
at which he held his umbrella. Somebody
get him some umbrella-holding remedial
sessions stat. We still might have a ways to
go with this rainy season.
You may have guessed that beyond the “pretty” umbrellas and the “practical”
umbrellas, there had to be more. Yes, more umbrellas……
Jorok impressed me with his
transparent, perfectly shaped, water-
repelling dome. The essence of
“umbrella”. Umbrella, in its purest form.
The only way to top that would be!? Of
course, the hash umbrella. The type we
should all be carrying next time. Don’t
forget to pick one up from haberdashery
if you don’t already own one.
The only time most of us were not busy figuring out how to hold our beer, our umbrella
and our phone at the same time was while on trail.
Trail
This week’s hare was Pearl Necklace, who was kind enough to step in for Telecum.
Telecum was supposed to be away, but lo and behold, there he was in the front pack as
usual. The others included Just Pėter, Slow Coach, Snowballer, Drongo Wanker and Yours
Truly. This breakaway FRB pack managed cooperatively to find mushy bits of paper to
stay on trail the whole way. Only at the last straightaway did Just Pėter leave the others
in his dust, casting us away with alacrity like one discards items that “no longer spark
joy”.
On On to the next disaster!