I'm sorry that you're experiencing that :( I'm lucky to have a few solid friends that I've had since I was a really young. Many other people have come and gone, and I appreciated them for that time, but I can really only rely on those few people to stick with me through everything.
You are correct. Most "friendships" are transactional. They get something from you, and in exchange, you get some thing from them. At that level, a delicate balance must be maintained. I know many people but only have 2 close friends. They ask nothing from me and I require nothing from them. I simply enjoy being around them. I also enjoy being alone and that is my preference. If you are not friends with yourself, you cannot be a true friend to others because you will be looking to use them to fill a void. A true friend energizes you. A shitty friend sucks the energy out of you, like a vampire.
There definitely are Sofia... given my 33 years around this sphere i think people are frightened and overstimulated to the point that they have trouble just slowing down and investing time in others for the sake of actually connecting with another human being. It's sad, but people I thought I would be friends with for life have fallen off the map and never really reached out unless they needed or wanted something for them, not for the relationship. It hurts, but you definitely chose a much healthier path to go down - you will find those individuals when you are out living your life doing the things you love. And if not, you got to enjoy yourself anyway!
Thank you for sharing your perspective-it really resonates with me. And about what you said, it is really sad. But I love the reminder that while we’re out living our lives and doing what we love, we’ll find those real connections, or at the very least, enjoy ourselves along the way. That’s such a positive way to look at it, and I hope it can reassure anyone who read it❤️
Thank you for this video. I'm having the same difficulty making real friends. I'm in college and I've made a couple friends, but it really hurts to be friends with them because it feels like I care about them a lot more than they care about me. I am almost a background character to them. But it's really hard to "break up" with them because they are the only friends that I've made in college.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I completely understand how you’re feeling. And as you can see from other comments, you and I are not the only ones struggling with this. It’s okay to feel hurt, and it’s okay to want more from the people in your life. I want you to know that you deserve friendships where you’re valued and cared for just as much as you care for others. I know it’s scary to think about “breaking up” with them, but sometimes letting go of relationships that make you feel less than you are is the right step toward finding people who truly see and appreciate you. Think of it as making space for better friends. Trust that you will meet the right people who match your energy, even if it takes time. Even if you think you're not ready, at least play with the idea. In Italian, we say "meglio soli che male accompagnati," which means it’s better to be alone than in bad company. I know it hurts, trust me. But I’m sure that one day, you’ll be happy you did. You deserve people in your life that value you. Not ones that treat you as an option.❤️ With love, Sofia
Ciao Sofia, apprezzo molto il messaggio. Circa un anno fa (inizio del secondo anno di università) ho deciso di staccarmi da un gruppo di amici "storico" che mi portavo avanti dalla prima liceo. Andando avanti con il tempo mi sono visto come sempre più escluso, tanto che venivo a sapere spesso di uscite ed eventi a cui loro partecipavano o che loro stessi organizzavano senza degnarmi della minima considerazione. Dopo averli, per dirla in grandi linee, mandati a quel paese, mi sono sentito malissimo per un paio di mesi, durante i quali ho iniziato anche a sentire uno psicologo, e ho conosciuto altre persone che a oggi mi danno valore per quello che sono, senza far si che io debba meritarmi l'attenzione con favori e necessità. Staccarsi, anche a costo della solitudine, è sempre meglio che rimanere appesi a una sanguisuga pronta a sfruttarci in ogni occasione. Oggi sto molto meglio e ho ripreso molta della sicurezza che avevo perso; pensavo di essere io il problema, ma così non era. Saluti da Torino :) -Luca
Ciao Luca, grazie mille per questo messaggio! Sei stato coraggioso a lasciarli andare, e adesso, in prospettiva, è chiaro che non erano le persone giuste per te. Mi rende davvero felice sapere che hai trovato delle persone che ti valorizzano e ti apprezzano per quello che sei, e spero che il tuo messaggio possa dare speranza a chiunque altro lo legga. Penso che le persone più sensibili pensino sempre di essere il problema (ti capisco su questo), ma spesso la verità è che stiamo cercando di giustificare comportamenti scorretti e cattivi nei nostri confronti, che non vogliamo credere essere veri. Il fatto che tu abbia ripreso la tua sicurezza e trovato una nuova rete di persone è davvero di ispirazione. Sono sicura che la tua esperienza dimostra quanto sia importante allontanarsi da chi ci fa male, anche se all'inizio può sembrare difficile. Grazie ancora per aver condiviso la tua storia ❤️ Un abbraccio, Sofia
I've noticed this in my life lately and it's frustrating because I am 40 and you would think by now I would have found good friends. But I would get texts asking for money or rides or favors. Never any texts asking how I am or even happy birthday once a year. When I suggest we should hang out they always have an excuse unless I say "I'll treat." I am just over it, but it does get lonely and you find yourself with bad friends just to cure the loneliness even if you know better.
Thank you for sharing this. I understand how draining it can be to feel like people only reach out when they need something. I think it’s natural to hold onto these relationships because loneliness is tough, but you deserve so much better than that. It’s hard to let go, but finding people who actually care about you and your well-being is worth the wait. Even though it can feel isolating, I believe it's better to be alone than surrounded by people who don’t genuinely value you. Instead of "treating-them", "treat-yourself" with nice experiences that hopefully will get you to meet people that deserve your time. You’re definitely not alone in this ❤️
You should not be sad when you lose a friend! Keep the good memories and laughs you had together. Forget the bad times!😢 You are a special girl, thank you for sharing your feelings😊 You will make many new good friends along the way. Don’t be shy when you’re alone, loneliness is a life lesson, be positive and love yourself because you are worth it! 😉 Be the best version of yourself everyday 😊
Real Life " Social Skills " are hugely lacking in these younger generation.its so sad.Social Media has replaced intimacy between people.Its so easier to make friends as kids because kids hearts are more "Wide Open".😢
همین تغییرات هستند که زندگی رو معنا میدن . من همیشه باور داشتم که احساس ای به کسی داشتن مثل یه جاده دو طرفه اس ، یک مسیر دوست داشتن و در طرف دیگه دوست داشته شدن . در غیر این صورت یک طرف ترافیک سنگین پیدا می کنه و باعث مشکل میشه 😊
I'm sorry that you're experiencing that :( I'm lucky to have a few solid friends that I've had since I was a really young. Many other people have come and gone, and I appreciated them for that time, but I can really only rely on those few people to stick with me through everything.
Thank you for the support🥺 but I am so happy to hear you found your people! It sounds like a beautiful friendship, hope it only grows bigger❤️
You are correct. Most "friendships" are transactional. They get something from you, and in exchange, you get some thing from them. At that level, a delicate balance must be maintained. I know many people but only have 2 close friends. They ask nothing from me and I require nothing from them. I simply enjoy being around them. I also enjoy being alone and that is my preference. If you are not friends with yourself, you cannot be a true friend to others because you will be looking to use them to fill a void. A true friend energizes you. A shitty friend sucks the energy out of you, like a vampire.
I like the metaphor. I eliminated the vampires in my life...There is no space for them in my head hahaha
There definitely are Sofia... given my 33 years around this sphere i think people are frightened and overstimulated to the point that they have trouble just slowing down and investing time in others for the sake of actually connecting with another human being. It's sad, but people I thought I would be friends with for life have fallen off the map and never really reached out unless they needed or wanted something for them, not for the relationship. It hurts, but you definitely chose a much healthier path to go down - you will find those individuals when you are out living your life doing the things you love. And if not, you got to enjoy yourself anyway!
Thank you for sharing your perspective-it really resonates with me. And about what you said, it is really sad. But I love the reminder that while we’re out living our lives and doing what we love, we’ll find those real connections, or at the very least, enjoy ourselves along the way. That’s such a positive way to look at it, and I hope it can reassure anyone who read it❤️
Thank you for this video. I'm having the same difficulty making real friends. I'm in college and I've made a couple friends, but it really hurts to be friends with them because it feels like I care about them a lot more than they care about me. I am almost a background character to them. But it's really hard to "break up" with them because they are the only friends that I've made in college.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I completely understand how you’re feeling. And as you can see from other comments, you and I are not the only ones struggling with this. It’s okay to feel hurt, and it’s okay to want more from the people in your life. I want you to know that you deserve friendships where you’re valued and cared for just as much as you care for others. I know it’s scary to think about “breaking up” with them, but sometimes letting go of relationships that make you feel less than you are is the right step toward finding people who truly see and appreciate you. Think of it as making space for better friends. Trust that you will meet the right people who match your energy, even if it takes time. Even if you think you're not ready, at least play with the idea. In Italian, we say "meglio soli che male accompagnati," which means it’s better to be alone than in bad company. I know it hurts, trust me. But I’m sure that one day, you’ll be happy you did. You deserve people in your life that value you. Not ones that treat you as an option.❤️
With love,
Sofia
Ciao Sofia, apprezzo molto il messaggio. Circa un anno fa (inizio del secondo anno di università) ho deciso di staccarmi da un gruppo di amici "storico" che mi portavo avanti dalla prima liceo. Andando avanti con il tempo mi sono visto come sempre più escluso, tanto che venivo a sapere spesso di uscite ed eventi a cui loro partecipavano o che loro stessi organizzavano senza degnarmi della minima considerazione.
Dopo averli, per dirla in grandi linee, mandati a quel paese, mi sono sentito malissimo per un paio di mesi, durante i quali ho iniziato anche a sentire uno psicologo, e ho conosciuto altre persone che a oggi mi danno valore per quello che sono, senza far si che io debba meritarmi l'attenzione con favori e necessità. Staccarsi, anche a costo della solitudine, è sempre meglio che rimanere appesi a una sanguisuga pronta a sfruttarci in ogni occasione. Oggi sto molto meglio e ho ripreso molta della sicurezza che avevo perso; pensavo di essere io il problema, ma così non era.
Saluti da Torino :)
-Luca
Ciao Luca, grazie mille per questo messaggio! Sei stato coraggioso a lasciarli andare, e adesso, in prospettiva, è chiaro che non erano le persone giuste per te. Mi rende davvero felice sapere che hai trovato delle persone che ti valorizzano e ti apprezzano per quello che sei, e spero che il tuo messaggio possa dare speranza a chiunque altro lo legga. Penso che le persone più sensibili pensino sempre di essere il problema (ti capisco su questo), ma spesso la verità è che stiamo cercando di giustificare comportamenti scorretti e cattivi nei nostri confronti, che non vogliamo credere essere veri. Il fatto che tu abbia ripreso la tua sicurezza e trovato una nuova rete di persone è davvero di ispirazione. Sono sicura che la tua esperienza dimostra quanto sia importante allontanarsi da chi ci fa male, anche se all'inizio può sembrare difficile. Grazie ancora per aver condiviso la tua storia ❤️
Un abbraccio,
Sofia
I've noticed this in my life lately and it's frustrating because I am 40 and you would think by now I would have found good friends. But I would get texts asking for money or rides or favors. Never any texts asking how I am or even happy birthday once a year. When I suggest we should hang out they always have an excuse unless I say "I'll treat." I am just over it, but it does get lonely and you find yourself with bad friends just to cure the loneliness even if you know better.
Thank you for sharing this. I understand how draining it can be to feel like people only reach out when they need something. I think it’s natural to hold onto these relationships because loneliness is tough, but you deserve so much better than that. It’s hard to let go, but finding people who actually care about you and your well-being is worth the wait. Even though it can feel isolating, I believe it's better to be alone than surrounded by people who don’t genuinely value you. Instead of "treating-them", "treat-yourself" with nice experiences that hopefully will get you to meet people that deserve your time. You’re definitely not alone in this ❤️
You should not be sad when you lose a friend! Keep the good memories and laughs you had together. Forget the bad times!😢 You are a special girl, thank you for sharing your feelings😊 You will make many new good friends along the way. Don’t be shy when you’re alone, loneliness is a life lesson, be positive and love yourself because you are worth it! 😉 Be the best version of yourself everyday 😊
Thank you, thank you, thank you🥺❤️
Real Life " Social Skills " are hugely lacking in these younger generation.its so sad.Social Media has replaced intimacy between people.Its so easier to make friends as kids because kids hearts are more "Wide Open".😢
Couldn’t agree more…it’s really sad🥺❤️
همین تغییرات هستند که زندگی رو معنا میدن . من همیشه باور داشتم که احساس ای به کسی داشتن مثل یه جاده دو طرفه اس ، یک مسیر دوست داشتن و در طرف دیگه دوست داشته شدن .
در غیر این صورت یک طرف ترافیک سنگین پیدا می کنه و باعث مشکل میشه 😊
This is so true…and you put it in such a poetic way :) thank you for writing this❤️
Hey Sofi, I'm your new subscriber-friend 🌼🐝
Hello!! 🌸❤️