The Root of Bitterness | Keith Stewart | Springcreek Church

The Root of Bitterness
Unfinished Business - Part 1
Springcreek Church | Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
November 5, 2023
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How do I know whether I have unfinished business in my past especially if I’m not consciously aware of anything? Believe it or not, there are telltale signs of unresolved hurt, buried pain, and unaddressed issues. This Sunday, we’re going to explore these roots that sabotage God’s best for us in the present. You don’t want to miss this message!
SERIES: Unfinished Business
When you have unfinished business in the past it will never remain in the past. Instead, it will continue to rear its ugly head at the least appropriate times and in the most unpredictable ways. We might become people who are easily triggered. The unhealed past can be what fuels our addictions. It’s even possible to end up taking it out on the wrong people simply because they do or say something that reminds us of our pain. In short, a buried pain refuses to stay buried. There’s a better way. This series will show you how to send the past into the past forever.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What are some of the messages (by word and deed) children receive while they are growing up that they never question? What coping mechanism do they adopt to deal with distorted messages? Has anything like this ever happened to you? What have you found helpful in dealing with these distortions, lies, and manipulations?
2. Bitterness is a common result of the refusal to deal with hurts from our past. What are some of the signs of bitterness? How does bitterness affect us personally? Why is bitterness counter-productive? What has been your personal experience with bitterness?
3. One of the surest signs that you have unfinished business from your past is when you're having reactions that are bigger than the moment calls for. This is a strong indicator that you're rolling the present situation into past events that were similar to it in your life. You’re combining new anger and old anger - new injury with old ones. So when you have big reactions, you should pay attention to what triggered it, then start asking questions of yourself. Pastor Keith gave examples of the sort of questions you should ask, can you name one of them? Why is it important to ask those questions? How do big reactions hold the key to unlocking past hurts?
4. Doctors Les & Leslie Parrott wrote, “Repressed feelings, especially painful ones, have a high rate of resurrection. Be aware, however, that healing your hurts is a process of painful self-exploration.” Which means, we have a choice. Continue to push down our pain and therefore both deal with it for the rest of our life and allow it to come out in unpredictable ways OR revisit old hurts once and for all, see them for what they actually are and forgive them so that we’re through with them forever. Have you ever had to make this choice? Did you ever fear revisiting the past? What was your biggest fear? What was the result once you did?
5. Forgiveness is not excusing or explaining. Frankly, many of the things we need to forgive are inexcusable and sometimes we’ll never know why the people in our life hurt us the way they did. As Pastor Keith said, forgiveness is not saying, “I don't feel the pain anymore because now I understand it.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t feel the need to hold on to your involvement in my pain anymore even if I never understand it.” Forgiveness is all about releasing the emotional energy attached to that event or circumstance. It’s to set ourselves free and to realize we’re holding an uncollectable debt. Who do you need to forgive or who have you forgiven? What happened after making that decision? What would you say to someone who is stuck in unforgiveness?