I am a 9 and at my sister's bridal shower, there was a conversation going on about zodiac signs and astrology. I finally got up the courage to say something, and they totally ignored me and went back to talking like nothing even happened. I got up and walked away I was so mad. Being ignored is the worst!!!! 😵
Also, I will agree that complaining about things that are within one’s control are also super annoying. But it’s a lower tier pet peeve for me. Make do, not excuses.
I'm a 4 and I would add that I hate being told what to do. I want to choose what I do. My agency is a huge part of me being an individual! So easily avoided by being asked versus TOLD.
oh yes this one definitly! I can get very annoyed by unsolicited advice. I just want to vent my emotions. I'm not asking for advice, don't you dare tell me what to do and how to do it!
As a 4w5 I can relate to that. I like to do things my own way and I don’t like telling people what to do. I’d rather help people figure things out for themselves and not because I told them to.
I'm a 4w5 and that type 5 skit triggered my fight or flight response. Something that really boils my blood is when people breathe on my neck. Figuratively and literally. I don't like people watching over me and telling me what to do 😆
As a 2 who is very empathetic, I was extremely triggered by all of these! I could deeply feel their pain😂 Also, I feel like 2s get triggered when someone is alienated from a group for no reason and we flock to that person to immediately help out. No? Just me? Ok😄
Seven's is absolutely correct. I know you only did two each, but I wanted to add in "cancelled fun plans." - You cancel work, I'm ecstatic. You cancel the baseball game, I might go cry in a corner.
THIS!! I was explaining this to my husband (9) and he looked at me like I am insane. Cancelling fun plans is the worst. Cancelling plans to do something new that sounds fun is the worst of the worst.
You know this is a good video when you recognize that all of these are at least annoying, but get absolutely triggered at the ones associated with your type 😂❤️
My son walked into the room just as you were describing type 1 and said, “That is you. Does she know you?” 😂 I said, “No son she is describing enneagram pet peeves.” He said that you nailed it 😂
Type 4 here. I completely agree with the "stealing ideas" pet peeve. My mom has a habit of listening to what I say and then presenting my ideas as if they were her own and as if she had come to that conclusion herself and then repeating them back to me. That's actually very funny but annoys me to no end for some reason 😅
hahah awww this would annoy me SO much as well but its also so adorable cause it sounds like your mom is trying really hard to validate you and bond with you 😅😂💕
Haha yeah I feel like people do this when they lack self awareness (many people) but it’s not usually a huge deal to me. If it’s something important however, I just won’t let them get away with it. I won’t sit back and watch injustice take place like that, it’s not okay. I’m 4w3 and my tritype is considered the Messenger, more specifically The Aggressive (478).
As a 9, I love getting into deep conversations about subjects I'm really interested in and when that happens, great. It can take me a while to feel comfortable enough to share my opinions and open up about something, so being talked over or ignored is a major turn off. I'll shut down, walk away. I was in a pub restaurant one time and when I was served a really bad limp salad, I actually did take it back. Leaning in to my 8-wing. Felt so proud!😂
4 enneagram here. The stealing ideas thing hit very close to home. I had a very toxic friend who stole my ideas so constantly that he also started to claim my trauma. I had shared privately my old wounds and he started to share my wounds with others as his own and it still haunts me to this day. It was so bizarre but also so emotionally violating.
WOW! that is really extreme of your friend! I'm a 4 too I never really had that issue that I can recall of people stealing my ideas and such but it would annoy me
As a 1w2, the type 1 pet peeves didn’t quite land for me. For me it’s ppl doing sloppy or careless work, or leaving other ppl to clean up after them (literally or figuratively). Thanks for your great videos & the opportunity to chime in!
Omg yes, being a 3 and giving endless simple solutions to people's complaints and they don't do anything about it drives me crazy!!! Because then I can't stop thinking of more solutions even when I leave, and then better ways to explain it to them so they'll feel motivated to do it.
I'm a type 3 and I totally agree. Though I also resonate with the pet peeves for type 9 (being talked over), type 8 (wasted time), type 7 (forced schedule), and type 4 (stealing ideas). Some of these I feel like also fit perfectly for a type 3, cause type 3s also love efficiency and are always working towards their next accomplishment so they hate when their time is being wasted. Also, since our sense of worth is tied to our accomplishments it makes sense for type 3s to be pissed about having their ideas stolen or not getting credit for their work.
Oh god once again, it's creepy how accurate this all is! I love the little explanations you add, it puts the sketches into a clear context that can otherwise be overlooked.
6w5 here, not sure if other 6s feel this way but I really struggle with unexpected changes to plans. It’s like I become loyal to the agenda of what we’re going to do so when that changes I feel less secure
YESSSS I AGREE 100% I’m a 6w5 too and YESSSS lol it’s like, I already mentally prepared for *this* and then to have to it changed last minute it annoys me so much!
It's really odd, because I struggle with unexpected changes to plans as well, but I NEED the option of suddenly change plans if it feels necessary to me...
And then you're asked to let it go and to stop being a control freak and just go with the flow. If I hear this one more time I might end up in jail. 6w5 🤦♀️
Type 4: Given that Type 4s love authenticity, I never got into a lot of popular reality shows like "Real Housewives." Also, instafamous people just BAFFLE me. Like...how?!
probably the best reality show for a 4 is Alone on the history channel. You are litereally out in the wilderness alone and you are your own camera crew. Its not at all fake! 🤣
(Female) Type 9 here and totally agree with your video. Even worse than being ignored or talked over is when I go into an engineering shop to purchase something or ask a question and they ignore me and talk to my male colleague...aarggghhh!
..Yep. I'm definitely a type 8... There was this teacher who was terrible. I mean, an absolutely terrible person. I had no issue calling them out on it and being punished for it. No issue talking to the principal about it. No issue when the teacher was let go. Looking back on it now, though, wasn't my proudest moment because I basically upended half the school. :/ Though it did improve the learning environment... Yeah not completely proud about it. Could have blown up in my face.
Really resonated with 5 especially, but also 9. I find 7’s trigger of negativity interesting though. Constant negativity is exhausting, sure, but while optimism has it’s place, I feel like it’s over-use is one of /my/ pet peeves. If someone responds to my pessimism or worry with optimism or trying to see the bright side, I feel dismissed or like they are being flippant and glossing over something really important. I’d much rather someone be pessimistic with me, or at least listen and sincerely acknowledge, then quietly help me work on game plans to adjust to it. All positivity all the time makes me super nervous because I can’t identify with it and I wonder what’s hiding that I can’t see.
Yes!!. I’m a 7 and I don’t want to be around negative people. I also identified with the 9 about family politics on line. As an ENFP I just want HARMONY!!
Type 8, you nailed it!!! There are literal youtubers that I’m subscribed to because I like their content but never watch because they talk to slow. It drives me crazy.
My mom's a 5 but she loooves organized games to a fault. Same with dance songs that have instructions. I think knowing what to do in social situations is helpful for her. Great video!!
I'm a 5 and I love ice breakers. My son is a 6 and he hates them. I think it's because when I'm in a social situation, I didn't choose to be there, so having structured activity is a nice distraction. More genuinely sociable types might prefer to just walk around and talk to people. They don't need to be told to do that.
@@archivist_of_dragonstone I am 5w4 But I'm also open to the these things Specially when I like doing but I don't I pretend to untill I found a way out of this. 😅
type 4 here. i hate it when im at a group setting and they say "you are all unique and special." because saying that to everyone makes no one unique.... lol
Loved the councillor Jamm reference! I'm a 2w3, and while I definitely agreed with the two pet peeves you chose, you also NAILED it with the "complaining about things you can change" for type 3 as well. Omg, so annoying!
Type 8 here. So correct about bad leadership and slowness. Thank goodness TH-cam has a speed up function. Use it all the time. Also, do not ask me rhetorical or mundane questions. Do not over apologize in a frazzled dramatic way, but if you're wrong, you better apologize. Do not tell me how proud you are of yourself or your kids. Do not whine.
I'm a 3 with a strong 7 fix, and you NAILED IT. I just read the WORST self-help book ever yesterday that basically said that there's no point in striving for big goals because most people are statistically unsuccessful, so 'stop trying', accept that life sucks and then you die, etc. The title should've been "How to Be a Loser Who Gives Up on Life". ugh it put me in the worst funk the day I read it. Thankfully I'm over it now, but it's funny how I had such a visceral reaction to that book because it was so anathema to my deepest beliefs, whereas a lot of people found it liberating/comforting. (The weirdest part of it, is the book was written by someone who's a 7, according to PDB)
Yeah, these are good! I think you hit perfectly on the pet peeves for the 4, and the pet peeves of the other types helped me understand them better. Thank you! I'm a self preservation 4w3. One of my pet peeves is people not believing that my joy is real. I'm a naturally pretty happy and optimistic person. I can be melancholy sometimes, and I'm not afraid of dark emotions, but I'm also not afraid of happiness! I've noticed that a lot of my friends who are also fours tend to think that I'm being inauthentic when I'm happy and it drives me crazy. I'm not lying just because I'm not sad. Happiness is real. Optimism is real. Hope is real.
Holy cow this was my favorite enneagram video from Abbey! I related so much with the enneagram 9 pet peve when her friend was complaining about her food to the waiter. SO true for me! I am a 1w9. :)
I'm a 9w8 and omg the being talked over and ignored, and all the 8 pet peeves triggered me. I spent my entire upbringing defending minorities and loved ones in argument against a parent, so it really shaped me. Also love the Parks and Rec reference hahah
Great video! As a type 4, I can't stand when people steal my ideas and don't give me a credit. Also as a small youtuber, I have had this happen. I also am a wing 5 and felt like social media was a big zap of energy and had to quit instagram, also because of fake people. The fake people I also relate to and awkward small talk.
As a trained Enneagram person, I want to commend you on how well you describe each type while making them so funny and helpful. Is there a series in which you explain how a type can relax the unhealthy side of the type and think differently? Thanks.
every time im in the car with my parents and i spot someone not obeying traffic rules, i’d get so annoyed and question their capability of driving in a vehicle
What not to say to a 4: “It’s not about you” when they see someone else violating their morals (someone cheating, someone being bullied, etc. and the 4 wanting to intervene)
I find most of these things annoying. I have A LOT of pet peeves. But before I watched the video, I tried to think of the worst one. First on my list was "people who don't think about how their actions impact other people," so I think you're spot on! I'm 6w5. I also can't stand forced socializing, like "team building" at work. I just want to do my job, not socialize with people.
The mention of using people for your own benefit without taking them into account hit home as a type 2. However, it's less of a pet peeve and more of a very infuriating thing to do. How could somebody take advantage of another without feeling guilt?? It feels wrong to manipulate people into doing things for you. But, yes, I totally agree that the pet peeves for type 2 are accurate. Ty for making the video!
I’m a 4w5 and I’d say my biggest peeve is when I’m talking to someone who doesn’t try to understand things from my point of view. I go out of my way to figure out where other people are coming from and when it isn’t reciprocated it is very disheartening. Even if we come from completely different ways of thinking it isn’t an excuse to assume everyone processes the same way.
That's a 9 trait! I was always so confused about how other people just can't put themselves in another's shoes or understand where they're coming from until I realized it was a 9 thing.
5 here. Definitely hate ignorance, but more than that, I hate logical fallacies/inconsistencies, cognitive dissonance and people not thinking for themselves. I actually relate to being annoyed by slowness like the 8, (the other day, some people in front of me in line were chatting it up instead of finishing checking out at a self checkout line. I had to switch lines). And no use of turn signal like type 1 (I think of it as rude, even my husband does it. I don't think he's purposely rude, but it's just inconsiderate of others).
OMG! This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I’m blown away! I’m a 2w3 and because I’m a 2 I value helping people navigate their emotions/problems but as the 3 I want to just ignore people when they just complain about easily fixable problems!
I am a type 1 wing 9. So since I am a perfectionist more with myself than with others, the type 9 pet peeves were more relatable to me. A type 1 pet peeve of mine is people who claim an identity that they don't live by. So rather than surface level things like blinkers and chewing with your mouth open, people that don't live up to their own moral standards irritates me, like a Christian who goes to church Sunday morning but was out drinking and partying the night before.
Elena, I feel the same way. I’m a 1w9 like yourself. I identified with the type 9 segments more. I especially related to the “addressing an issue with an order at a restaurant”. I’d rather just live with it than to make a scene. “Their ineptitude was probably not intentional” would be what I’d say in my mind. As for Type 1 pet peeves, it would be poor grammar from a native speaker, whistling in doors or just making a lot of noise out of boredom, or talking during a movie, or overly emotional and soft talking. 🤙🏼😎 типа такого.
Another type 1 wing 9 here. I definitely agree with all the type 1 issues you brought up (and I'm so glad someone mentioned poor grammar). The type 9 pet peeves resonated with me quite a bit too (especially being ignored). With that said, people not using blinkers and not following other basic driving rules irks me to no end, so I still thought she nailed it. I think this just goes to show we're all still a little different within our own type.
@@MarkFilterDeveloper Yes! Whistling! I'm so glad someone else said this, because I thought I was the only person that can't stand whistling indoors, it literally makes my skin crawl! XD
I’m a 4w5 and my friend told me she sees a lot of 2 and 1 in me. I can totally relate to wanting to having high expectations for myself and other people. I also like feeling validated and understood by people I care about.
Hey Abbey, I love you videos! Question...So recently I've lied to an eneagram 6 not really thinking. That was a bad idea. Any thoughts on how to regain a type 6’s trust?
I'm an ENTJ 1w9 and you got it right but I'd say being mocked when I'm trying to be civil and patient with someone while explaining something is absolutely a big one for me.
Yep, I relate to both 6 and 9 (and every test gives me either one). I have said and done the things that both the 9 and 6 did in this video. lol. I even told my mom that I will go get murdered by walking by myself because she is a 7 and doesn't want to walk on the same safe trail with me anymore (edit: because she is bored with routines - and I am still too scared to go by myself).
Wow I can totally relate to the second pet peeve of type 3 as a 4w5. I did develop my 3 wing the last couple of years, so yeah now I'm annoyed by people who just complain instead of putting in effort to accomplish the things they want. I also relate to the pet peeves of the 5, especially the one about efficiency. It can make me come off as cold sometimes, but I'm still a very emotional empathetic 4 at my core. I hate inauthenticity and I do want credit for my ideas and input. My mother who is a 3 is definitly super irritated when she gets interrupted while working (which she is constantly), even if it's for dinner she gets annoyed. And then my sweet socia' 8w9 boyfriend, he gets so frustrated with bad management, especially when his employers take advantage of the employees. He feels this strong desire to stick up for what's right.
You got me with giving credit where credit is due - I recently called out a YT channel for not listing band names and songs in their production tutorials. It drives me INSANE. Another one of mine (4w5sp) is small talk. If someone starts talking about what college program they are in, what college their daughter went to, what their son's career is, I am seriously looking for the nearest exit out of that conversation unless it is pertinent information. I do not care, and these conversations drain my energy.
1 here, and laughing! Many times my son thinks I’m talking to him when I’m driving…but I’m actually talking to the drivers who aren’t following the rules of the road. “Oh, no turn signal, eh? Turn signals are helpful communication tools mister. My decision about pulling out would have been different if I’d known your intentions, you realize?” I feel like 1s have a ton of pet peeves because nearly everything that isn’t how it should be bothers us. Incorrect grammar/spelling, shopping carts left in the parking lot, not wiping down the gym equipment after use, talking on your cell phone in a public place, driving slowly in the left lane (it’s for passing!) and not knowing the most efficient way to handle a merge area (you should proceed all the way to the merge and zipper in-it’s not rude; it’s how it’s supposed to go!). Being a passenger in a car is very difficult; it’s very hard for me to resist the urge to inform the driver about driving. 😬😂
You are so entertaining and talented and I am so glad I came across your channel! You are so good at what you do--keep the videos coming. Learning a lot! (A 3 here as well. 😉)
I am an almost evenly split 1(98%) 4(97%), & 6(98%). I don't know if that rare. But it fits I guess. All of the corresponding pet peeves you mentioned are SPOT ON!
As a Type 1/5 I have many Type 1 and Type 5 related pet peeves. But other types pet peeves are also agreeable with me. All of these pet peeves apply to me. Although I am not bothered by Type 2 pet peeves about gratitude.
Your face at the two minute mark; excellent! It is probably not the best way to react, but after the other person finishes interrupting, I just keep saying what I was saying before or don't even stop to begin with! That may be due to my customer service experience though. Love your videos! Thanks for all you do!
I'm a 6, and yes, I hate when people change plans because I spend so much time thinking about and preparing for them that it completely disorients me, lol.
More than that it's cause I was looking forward to it and have had to cancel any other plans that overlapped with this.. and you go ahead and CANCEL IT???
I’m sitting here with my 8 best friend and as SOON AS YOU SAID THAT 4’s CANT STAND people who copy/ steal ideas without credits- I started ooing and slapping my friends arm saying ITS ME ITS ME. My 8 agreed it was absolutely spot on
I'm also a type 3w4 and you hit the nail right on the head with these pet peeves. My BIGGEST pet peeve is being interrupted when I'm working, it drives my up the friggin wall, and also when people complain about something they can change I just keep saying in my head "if it bothers you so much then do something about"
9 Storytime. I went over to a friend's house when I was 7-8 and stayed the night. We had a good time, no problem. My mom came to pick me up and take me back home but as we were leaving, I want to ask my friend if I could borrow a game. The parents were in a "Okay, take care! Watch for deer" protocol and didn't hear or acknowledge me. So I started crying. They asked me what was wrong and I told them, and instead of the other mother being like "Hey, can he borrow a game?" She told him "Let him borrow that game." I proceed to feel guilty about it for years. I feel guilty now.
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Type 1w2 here - my perfectionism is more focused in my relationships - there’s a lot of “shoulds” in my brain about how other people should behave, yes - but almost exclusively it’s related to how they treat others/disrespect/being inconsiderate. My type 1 self finds it hard letting other people & myself be imperfect, by the type 2 side of me has all the empathy & emotions behind that too! It’s a tug-of-war for sure. 😅 I do get annoyed when people don’t use their blinker or have bad manners though haha, but I wouldn’t say anything! Maybe that’s the type 9 leaning too. 🤷🏻♀️ Your videos are awesome! I just stumbled across them & they’re so fun.
I am a type 3, and I would say that a big one is when people tell me that I don't have to reach certain goals. I set my goal. I prepared for it. I AM going to reach it.
So I also score as a 6 but I definitely relate to the 5 in this video! I think I have used those exact words about doing research on a subject so not to be ignorant about what’s happening in our world lol.
As a 7 and a entp I can relate 100 percent. I get bored way too easily and I hate it. Especially when I have to deal with a tight schedule it literally kills me but at least I have friends to call
I am a 9 and at my sister's bridal shower, there was a conversation going on about zodiac signs and astrology. I finally got up the courage to say something, and they totally ignored me and went back to talking like nothing even happened. I got up and walked away I was so mad. Being ignored is the worst!!!! 😵
I'm a 9 and that happens to me all the time. It's so aggravating.
As a 9, being interrupted is SUCH a pet peeve for me. I just stop talking/responding now.
Bad leadership isn’t a pet peeve, it’s worse. It’s the holy grail of triggers as an 8w7. People moving slowly is a pet peeve.
Also, I will agree that complaining about things that are within one’s control are also super annoying. But it’s a lower tier pet peeve for me. Make do, not excuses.
Also, long waiting lines, or at least for my boyfriend who's an 8. Everything that goes to slow annoys him
I hear you! Bad leadership is awful (and it sucks for all types)
@@dianana7371 yes, you are right about the long lines. I’m an 8 and I’m pretty sure long lines are the devils work.
You speak my language!
I'm a 4 and I would add that I hate being told what to do. I want to choose what I do. My agency is a huge part of me being an individual! So easily avoided by being asked versus TOLD.
Agreed!!
this is a great example for a type 4. your agency is a huge part of your authenticity!!
oh yes this one definitly! I can get very annoyed by unsolicited advice. I just want to vent my emotions. I'm not asking for advice, don't you dare tell me what to do and how to do it!
As a 4w5 I can relate to that. I like to do things my own way and I don’t like telling people what to do. I’d rather help people figure things out for themselves and not because I told them to.
5w4 but still, THISSSSSS aghhh biggest pet peeve ever!
I will add though that my four wing is ridiculously high.
As a 9, that scene with the waiter gave me anxiety 😂But this is such a great video!! So accurate 👏
thanks Melody!
SAME!
Big mood
As a 6, same
The cringe was real.
I'm a 4w5 and that type 5 skit triggered my fight or flight response.
Something that really boils my blood is when people breathe on my neck. Figuratively and literally. I don't like people watching over me and telling me what to do 😆
As a 2 who is very empathetic, I was extremely triggered by all of these! I could deeply feel their pain😂 Also, I feel like 2s get triggered when someone is alienated from a group for no reason and we flock to that person to immediately help out. No? Just me? Ok😄
LOLZ on the type 5 icebreakers
Seven's is absolutely correct. I know you only did two each, but I wanted to add in "cancelled fun plans." - You cancel work, I'm ecstatic. You cancel the baseball game, I might go cry in a corner.
that's a good one! maybe if I make a sequel to this video
THIS!! I was explaining this to my husband (9) and he looked at me like I am insane. Cancelling fun plans is the worst. Cancelling plans to do something new that sounds fun is the worst of the worst.
Totally accurate!!!
You know this is a good video when you recognize that all of these are at least annoying, but get absolutely triggered at the ones associated with your type 😂❤️
YESSS this comment
My son walked into the room just as you were describing type 1 and said, “That is you. Does she know you?” 😂 I said, “No son she is describing enneagram pet peeves.” He said that you nailed it 😂
Type 4 here. I completely agree with the "stealing ideas" pet peeve. My mom has a habit of listening to what I say and then presenting my ideas as if they were her own and as if she had come to that conclusion herself and then repeating them back to me. That's actually very funny but annoys me to no end for some reason 😅
My husband is a 4 and that is his BIGGEST pet peeve.
hahah awww this would annoy me SO much as well but its also so adorable cause it sounds like your mom is trying really hard to validate you and bond with you 😅😂💕
Haha yeah I feel like people do this when they lack self awareness (many people) but it’s not usually a huge deal to me. If it’s something important however, I just won’t let them get away with it. I won’t sit back and watch injustice take place like that, it’s not okay. I’m 4w3 and my tritype is considered the Messenger, more specifically The Aggressive (478).
LOL my mom does the same thing. I'm like, yeah, I literally just explained that.
As a 9, I love getting into deep conversations about subjects I'm really interested in and when that happens, great. It can take me a while to feel comfortable enough to share my opinions and open up about something, so being talked over or ignored is a major turn off. I'll shut down, walk away.
I was in a pub restaurant one time and when I was served a really bad limp salad, I actually did take it back. Leaning in to my 8-wing. Felt so proud!😂
4 enneagram here. The stealing ideas thing hit very close to home. I had a very toxic friend who stole my ideas so constantly that he also started to claim my trauma. I had shared privately my old wounds and he started to share my wounds with others as his own and it still haunts me to this day. It was so bizarre but also so emotionally violating.
WOW! that is really extreme of your friend! I'm a 4 too I never really had that issue that I can recall of people stealing my ideas and such but it would annoy me
That 9 scene where she was being talked over and the subject keeps changing - happens to me so often and I do indeed find it infuriating spot on! 😅
As a 1w2, the type 1 pet peeves didn’t quite land for me. For me it’s ppl doing sloppy or careless work, or leaving other ppl to clean up after them (literally or figuratively). Thanks for your great videos & the opportunity to chime in!
That two truths and an icebreaker thing was spot on. As a type 5, I would hate having to divulge any truths about myself to people I don't know.
Omg yes, being a 3 and giving endless simple solutions to people's complaints and they don't do anything about it drives me crazy!!! Because then I can't stop thinking of more solutions even when I leave, and then better ways to explain it to them so they'll feel motivated to do it.
I'm a type 3 and I totally agree. Though I also resonate with the pet peeves for type 9 (being talked over), type 8 (wasted time), type 7 (forced schedule), and type 4 (stealing ideas). Some of these I feel like also fit perfectly for a type 3, cause type 3s also love efficiency and are always working towards their next accomplishment so they hate when their time is being wasted. Also, since our sense of worth is tied to our accomplishments it makes sense for type 3s to be pissed about having their ideas stolen or not getting credit for their work.
Oh god once again, it's creepy how accurate this all is! I love the little explanations you add, it puts the sketches into a clear context that can otherwise be overlooked.
Glad you like it! Thank you for watching!!
6w5 here, not sure if other 6s feel this way but I really struggle with unexpected changes to plans. It’s like I become loyal to the agenda of what we’re going to do so when that changes I feel less secure
I totally hear you. That was another big response on my IG polls.
YESSSS I AGREE 100% I’m a 6w5 too and YESSSS lol it’s like, I already mentally prepared for *this* and then to have to it changed last minute it annoys me so much!
It's really odd, because I struggle with unexpected changes to plans as well, but I NEED the option of suddenly change plans if it feels necessary to me...
And then you're asked to let it go and to stop being a control freak and just go with the flow. If I hear this one more time I might end up in jail. 6w5 🤦♀️
@@jessicachamand8490 🤣
Type 4: Given that Type 4s love authenticity, I never got into a lot of popular reality shows like "Real Housewives." Also, instafamous people just BAFFLE me. Like...how?!
I could see how those scripted "reality" shows could drive 4s bonkers!
4 here and I enjoy those shows, but I’m also Scorpio and love drama and passion
I'm a 4 and have always avoided reality shows. But it was fun watching the Circle on Netflix with friends and laughing at all the ridiculousness.
probably the best reality show for a 4 is Alone on the history channel. You are litereally out in the wilderness alone and you are your own camera crew. Its not at all fake! 🤣
yes!!! (4w5)
(Female) Type 9 here and totally agree with your video. Even worse than being ignored or talked over is when I go into an engineering shop to purchase something or ask a question and they ignore me and talk to my male colleague...aarggghhh!
..Yep. I'm definitely a type 8...
There was this teacher who was terrible. I mean, an absolutely terrible person.
I had no issue calling them out on it and being punished for it. No issue talking to the principal about it. No issue when the teacher was let go.
Looking back on it now, though, wasn't my proudest moment because I basically upended half the school. :/
Though it did improve the learning environment... Yeah not completely proud about it. Could have blown up in my face.
sounds like an 8 to me!
Omg same!!!!
Really resonated with 5 especially, but also 9.
I find 7’s trigger of negativity interesting though. Constant negativity is exhausting, sure, but while optimism has it’s place, I feel like it’s over-use is one of /my/ pet peeves. If someone responds to my pessimism or worry with optimism or trying to see the bright side, I feel dismissed or like they are being flippant and glossing over something really important. I’d much rather someone be pessimistic with me, or at least listen and sincerely acknowledge, then quietly help me work on game plans to adjust to it. All positivity all the time makes me super nervous because I can’t identify with it and I wonder what’s hiding that I can’t see.
Totally agree… there is absolutely a thing called toxic positivity and it’s the WORST.
Yes!!. I’m a 7 and I don’t want to be around negative people. I also identified with the 9 about family politics on line. As an ENFP I just want HARMONY!!
HARMONY!!
Type 8, you nailed it!!! There are literal youtubers that I’m subscribed to because I like their content but never watch because they talk to slow. It drives me crazy.
yay! glad I got a pet peeve that was accurate for you.
Me too, I'm a 7w8 and I hate it when the video is 10+ mins long with 12 ads and they never get to the point.
@@CutThroatBeast the absolute worst. If I feel like I need to skip through the video to get to the point, the video is to long.
1.25x is default speed for me
@@realSimoneCherie good tip! I’ll give it a try, thanks!!
My mom's a 5 but she loooves organized games to a fault. Same with dance songs that have instructions. I think knowing what to do in social situations is helpful for her. Great video!!
She might have a 6 wing. 5w6 are usually more open to socializing and cooperation.
I'm a 5 and I love ice breakers. My son is a 6 and he hates them. I think it's because when I'm in a social situation, I didn't choose to be there, so having structured activity is a nice distraction. More genuinely sociable types might prefer to just walk around and talk to people. They don't need to be told to do that.
@@archivist_of_dragonstone I am 5w4
But I'm also open to the these things
Specially when I like doing but I don't I pretend to untill I found a way out of this. 😅
type 4 here. i hate it when im at a group setting and they say "you are all unique and special." because saying that to everyone makes no one unique.... lol
Loved the councillor Jamm reference! I'm a 2w3, and while I definitely agreed with the two pet peeves you chose, you also NAILED it with the "complaining about things you can change" for type 3 as well. Omg, so annoying!
Type 8 here. So correct about bad leadership and slowness. Thank goodness TH-cam has a speed up function. Use it all the time. Also, do not ask me rhetorical or mundane questions. Do not over apologize in a frazzled dramatic way, but if you're wrong, you better apologize. Do not tell me how proud you are of yourself or your kids. Do not whine.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊😊
I'm a 3 with a strong 7 fix, and you NAILED IT. I just read the WORST self-help book ever yesterday that basically said that there's no point in striving for big goals because most people are statistically unsuccessful, so 'stop trying', accept that life sucks and then you die, etc. The title should've been "How to Be a Loser Who Gives Up on Life". ugh it put me in the worst funk the day I read it. Thankfully I'm over it now, but it's funny how I had such a visceral reaction to that book because it was so anathema to my deepest beliefs, whereas a lot of people found it liberating/comforting.
(The weirdest part of it, is the book was written by someone who's a 7, according to PDB)
Yeah, these are good! I think you hit perfectly on the pet peeves for the 4, and the pet peeves of the other types helped me understand them better. Thank you!
I'm a self preservation 4w3. One of my pet peeves is people not believing that my joy is real. I'm a naturally pretty happy and optimistic person. I can be melancholy sometimes, and I'm not afraid of dark emotions, but I'm also not afraid of happiness! I've noticed that a lot of my friends who are also fours tend to think that I'm being inauthentic when I'm happy and it drives me crazy. I'm not lying just because I'm not sad. Happiness is real. Optimism is real. Hope is real.
Holy cow this was my favorite enneagram video from Abbey! I related so much with the enneagram 9 pet peve when her friend was complaining about her food to the waiter. SO true for me! I am a 1w9. :)
this makes me so happy!!!
I'm also a 1w9. Yeah, face to face conflict is absolutely hellish for me. More like a serious fear with a flight response than a pet peeve.
I'm a 9w8 and omg the being talked over and ignored, and all the 8 pet peeves triggered me. I spent my entire upbringing defending minorities and loved ones in argument against a parent, so it really shaped me. Also love the Parks and Rec reference hahah
Great video! As a type 4, I can't stand when people steal my ideas and don't give me a credit. Also as a small youtuber, I have had this happen. I also am a wing 5 and felt like social media was a big zap of energy and had to quit instagram, also because of fake people. The fake people I also relate to and awkward small talk.
As a trained Enneagram person, I want to commend you on how well you describe each type while making them so funny and helpful. Is there a series in which you explain how a type can relax the unhealthy side of the type and think differently? Thanks.
I'm a Type 5 and that was spot on
glad to hear it!! 💕
I loved it! I'm a 9, and I totally agree with all the pet peeves, but I also agree with most of types 6 and 3 😅
Really fun video! As a type 1, the blinker sketch really spoke to me 😂.
haha! thanks, Jason!
every time im in the car with my parents and i spot someone not obeying traffic rules, i’d get so annoyed and question their capability of driving in a vehicle
What not to say to a 4: “It’s not about you” when they see someone else violating their morals (someone cheating, someone being bullied, etc. and the 4 wanting to intervene)
I find most of these things annoying. I have A LOT of pet peeves. But before I watched the video, I tried to think of the worst one. First on my list was "people who don't think about how their actions impact other people," so I think you're spot on! I'm 6w5. I also can't stand forced socializing, like "team building" at work. I just want to do my job, not socialize with people.
The mention of using people for your own benefit without taking them into account hit home as a type 2. However, it's less of a pet peeve and more of a very infuriating thing to do. How could somebody take advantage of another without feeling guilt?? It feels wrong to manipulate people into doing things for you. But, yes, I totally agree that the pet peeves for type 2 are accurate. Ty for making the video!
I do really hate the phrase “be yourself.” 😂and when she said “that was your idea?” I was triggered
I’m a 4w5 and I’d say my biggest peeve is when I’m talking to someone who doesn’t try to understand things from my point of view. I go out of my way to figure out where other people are coming from and when it isn’t reciprocated it is very disheartening. Even if we come from completely different ways of thinking it isn’t an excuse to assume everyone processes the same way.
yes!
That's a 9 trait! I was always so confused about how other people just can't put themselves in another's shoes or understand where they're coming from until I realized it was a 9 thing.
5 here. Definitely hate ignorance, but more than that, I hate logical fallacies/inconsistencies, cognitive dissonance and people not thinking for themselves. I actually relate to being annoyed by slowness like the 8, (the other day, some people in front of me in line were chatting it up instead of finishing checking out at a self checkout line. I had to switch lines). And no use of turn signal like type 1 (I think of it as rude, even my husband does it. I don't think he's purposely rude, but it's just inconsiderate of others).
OMG! This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I’m blown away! I’m a 2w3 and because I’m a 2 I value helping people navigate their emotions/problems but as the 3 I want to just ignore people when they just complain about easily fixable problems!
I am a type 1 wing 9. So since I am a perfectionist more with myself than with others, the type 9 pet peeves were more relatable to me. A type 1 pet peeve of mine is people who claim an identity that they don't live by. So rather than surface level things like blinkers and chewing with your mouth open, people that don't live up to their own moral standards irritates me, like a Christian who goes to church Sunday morning but was out drinking and partying the night before.
Elena, I feel the same way. I’m a 1w9 like yourself. I identified with the type 9 segments more. I especially related to the “addressing an issue with an order at a restaurant”. I’d rather just live with it than to make a scene. “Their ineptitude was probably not intentional” would be what I’d say in my mind.
As for Type 1 pet peeves, it would be poor grammar from a native speaker, whistling in doors or just making a lot of noise out of boredom, or talking during a movie, or overly emotional and soft talking. 🤙🏼😎 типа такого.
Another type 1 wing 9 here. I definitely agree with all the type 1 issues you brought up (and I'm so glad someone mentioned poor grammar). The type 9 pet peeves resonated with me quite a bit too (especially being ignored). With that said, people not using blinkers and not following other basic driving rules irks me to no end, so I still thought she nailed it. I think this just goes to show we're all still a little different within our own type.
@@MarkFilterDeveloper Yes! Whistling! I'm so glad someone else said this, because I thought I was the only person that can't stand whistling indoors, it literally makes my skin crawl! XD
5:
“I don’t have any reason to believe this. I haven’t done any research. It just feeeels true.” 😡 🤯
//triggered eye-twitching intensifies//
OH GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH. Why are people so stupid and ignorant!? I mean we have so many resources now!!!??? How?
as a 4w5 i hate being told what to do, people rushing me, shallow and fake people and, of course, being misunderstood
I’m a 4w5 and my friend told me she sees a lot of 2 and 1 in me. I can totally relate to wanting to having high expectations for myself and other people. I also like feeling validated and understood by people I care about.
The facial expressions of the two perfectly represented the 2s in my life!
I'm a 5 and you nailed it. I have little patience for ignorance and ineptitude. What I hate more than anything is willful ignorance.
I’m a 1, and ABSOLUTELY - bad manners is my biggest pet peeve. You nailed it!
Did anyone get the Parks & Rec reference? 😜
Hey Abbey, I love you videos! Question...So recently I've lied to an eneagram 6 not really thinking. That was a bad idea. Any thoughts on how to regain a type 6’s
trust?
I didn’t! What was it??
Councilman Jam! 😂😂
Now I am inspired to watch Parks & Rec!!!
Type 5 with a very strong 4 wing and MAN those type 4 peeves hit home, along with the FORCED FUN of the 5. Great video!
I'm an ENTJ 1w9 and you got it right but I'd say being mocked when I'm trying to be civil and patient with someone while explaining something is absolutely a big one for me.
5w4 here and id say a pet peeve of mine is last minuet plans. I need to get mentally ready.
Yep, I relate to both 6 and 9 (and every test gives me either one). I have said and done the things that both the 9 and 6 did in this video. lol. I even told my mom that I will go get murdered by walking by myself because she is a 7 and doesn't want to walk on the same safe trail with me anymore (edit: because she is bored with routines - and I am still too scared to go by myself).
Wow I can totally relate to the second pet peeve of type 3 as a 4w5. I did develop my 3 wing the last couple of years, so yeah now I'm annoyed by people who just complain instead of putting in effort to accomplish the things they want. I also relate to the pet peeves of the 5, especially the one about efficiency. It can make me come off as cold sometimes, but I'm still a very emotional empathetic 4 at my core. I hate inauthenticity and I do want credit for my ideas and input. My mother who is a 3 is definitly super irritated when she gets interrupted while working (which she is constantly), even if it's for dinner she gets annoyed. And then my sweet socia' 8w9 boyfriend, he gets so frustrated with bad management, especially when his employers take advantage of the employees. He feels this strong desire to stick up for what's right.
I love these examples, especially the 8w9 bad management one. Makes total sense! Thanks for sharing, Diana!
@@AbbeyHowe Thanks Abbey, love your content!
You got me with giving credit where credit is due - I recently called out a YT channel for not listing band names and songs in their production tutorials. It drives me INSANE. Another one of mine (4w5sp) is small talk. If someone starts talking about what college program they are in, what college their daughter went to, what their son's career is, I am seriously looking for the nearest exit out of that conversation unless it is pertinent information. I do not care, and these conversations drain my energy.
1 here, and laughing! Many times my son thinks I’m talking to him when I’m driving…but I’m actually talking to the drivers who aren’t following the rules of the road. “Oh, no turn signal, eh? Turn signals are helpful communication tools mister. My decision about pulling out would have been different if I’d known your intentions, you realize?” I feel like 1s have a ton of pet peeves because nearly everything that isn’t how it should be bothers us. Incorrect grammar/spelling, shopping carts left in the parking lot, not wiping down the gym equipment after use, talking on your cell phone in a public place, driving slowly in the left lane (it’s for passing!) and not knowing the most efficient way to handle a merge area (you should proceed all the way to the merge and zipper in-it’s not rude; it’s how it’s supposed to go!). Being a passenger in a car is very difficult; it’s very hard for me to resist the urge to inform the driver about driving. 😬😂
“This hour meeting could have been an email” 😂 - so true. Yeah I hate meetings or wasted time
YES ABBEY!!! I am a 6 and I get SUPER annoyed when people are inconsiderate or flaky.
You are so entertaining and talented and I am so glad I came across your channel! You are so good at what you do--keep the videos coming. Learning a lot! (A 3 here as well. 😉)
Thank you! Will do!
LOL the clenched teeth "hope I never see you again" for 4s is so spot on!
I am an almost evenly split 1(98%) 4(97%), & 6(98%). I don't know if that rare. But it fits I guess. All of the corresponding pet peeves you mentioned are SPOT ON!
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊☺️☺️
The pet peeves for the type 1 are incredibly accurate.
7:57 Exactly that face. LOL. Nailed it, Abbey! 🙌
That second one hit hard! I'm a 3w4 S.O. brand 8.
All your counterparts were so good!!
What does it say about me that I identified with every single one of those pet peeves?😂
That you’re probably a 9 lmao. 9s take in all the other traits cause they’re so receptive and harmonize with other people all the time
I'm actually a 4w5 😊
Same lol well not all of them but 9, 8, 6, 2, and 1 😭😂 maybe I'm just a grumpy person 😂
😂 I mean i resonate with all of them too.. Especially 8, 6, 4, and 3 but my type hit me the hardest.
Oh my hahaha! I have LIVED all of your type 9 examples! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 So relieving that I’m not crazy… I’m just me 😁
TYPE FOUR here with a friend who does EVERYTHING I do. It absolutely DRIVES ME INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! You were spot on!!!
Ironically, despite being a type 9, I find myself rambling a lot and I think it has to do with me having ADHD. 😂
the waiter scene with type 9 was so anxiety inducing ARGHH and I'm literally 7w8. Spot on by the way
I'm a 5 and you got that right.
glad it was spot on!
Now I (an 9w1) know why I always feel bad or even hurt when the person I'm talking to gets distracted. Besides accurate, also enlightening
I'm a Five and OMG the icebreakers bit was SPOT ON.
Hehe!
As a Type 1/5 I have many Type 1 and Type 5 related pet peeves. But other types pet peeves are also agreeable with me.
All of these pet peeves apply to me.
Although I am not bothered by Type 2 pet peeves about gratitude.
Your face at the two minute mark; excellent! It is probably not the best way to react, but after the other person finishes interrupting, I just keep saying what I was saying before or don't even stop to begin with! That may be due to my customer service experience though.
Love your videos! Thanks for all you do!
As a type 9 "I wanna talk to the chef" had the adrenaline flowing 😅
I'm a 6, and yes, I hate when people change plans because I spend so much time thinking about and preparing for them that it completely disorients me, lol.
More than that it's cause I was looking forward to it and have had to cancel any other plans that overlapped with this.. and you go ahead and CANCEL IT???
7w6 here...you were spot on
I'm a 9w1 and you hit it 10000000%
I’m a 3w4 - “when people complain about things they can change” sooooooo true!!!!!!!!!
I’m sitting here with my 8 best friend and as SOON AS YOU SAID THAT 4’s CANT STAND people who copy/ steal ideas without credits- I started ooing and slapping my friends arm saying ITS ME ITS ME. My 8 agreed it was absolutely spot on
I'm also a type 3w4 and you hit the nail right on the head with these pet peeves. My BIGGEST pet peeve is being interrupted when I'm working, it drives my up the friggin wall, and also when people complain about something they can change I just keep saying in my head "if it bothers you so much then do something about"
9 Storytime. I went over to a friend's house when I was 7-8 and stayed the night. We had a good time, no problem. My mom came to pick me up and take me back home but as we were leaving, I want to ask my friend if I could borrow a game. The parents were in a "Okay, take care! Watch for deer" protocol and didn't hear or acknowledge me. So I started crying. They asked me what was wrong and I told them, and instead of the other mother being like "Hey, can he borrow a game?" She told him "Let him borrow that game." I proceed to feel guilty about it for years. I feel guilty now.
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I am a type 6 and I hate When I can hear people Chewing
same. it's terrible. sorry it's in this video lol
@@AbbeyHowe ahh you saw my comment yay
Sooooooo accurate for this 4. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
9w1 - *Don't tell me I'm not doing enough. My finest hour is the last minute.*
Type 1w2 here - my perfectionism is more focused in my relationships - there’s a lot of “shoulds” in my brain about how other people should behave, yes - but almost exclusively it’s related to how they treat others/disrespect/being inconsiderate. My type 1 self finds it hard letting other people & myself be imperfect, by the type 2 side of me has all the empathy & emotions behind that too! It’s a tug-of-war for sure. 😅 I do get annoyed when people don’t use their blinker or have bad manners though haha, but I wouldn’t say anything! Maybe that’s the type 9 leaning too. 🤷🏻♀️ Your videos are awesome! I just stumbled across them & they’re so fun.
Type 2: the thank you skit was perfect!🤣 Another is getting blamed for something I didn’t do.
I am a type 3, and I would say that a big one is when people tell me that I don't have to reach certain goals. I set my goal. I prepared for it. I AM going to reach it.
5w4 here, and you are freaking hilarious! =)
So I also score as a 6 but I definitely relate to the 5 in this video! I think I have used those exact words about doing research on a subject so not to be ignorant about what’s happening in our world lol.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊☺️
Soooo feeling the car conversation with my type 7 self.
As a 7 and a entp I can relate 100 percent. I get bored way too easily and I hate it. Especially when I have to deal with a tight schedule it literally kills me but at least I have friends to call