Therapists, what was the moment you realized your client couldn't be helped?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2023
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I went to see a therapist years ago and was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. She didn't take this diagnosis seriously and kept referring to my mental state as "a little sad". She almost fell asleep during our sessions and was so disinterested in helping me.
My mental health only got worse until I was suicidal. Then she called me and said I couldn't be helped and referred me to selfhelp-books at the library.
Later on she called again to do a check-up and I told her about my mental state and that I had sought help from the psych ward. She quickly tried to backpedal and said that I'm always welcome back to her office. She figured what was coming. I had told the psych ward why I was dropped by her and how she treated me.
She got fired. 👍
Linked to story 2
I was sent to a therapist two years ago by work (there were cuts to jobs looming so they organised help). I was already seeing a therapist for trauma. The work therapist asked me about work, then I let slip I'm stressed, nervous but okay and dealing with these emotions with regular therapist. The next 30mins was this guy asking why I was in therapy already and down the rabbit hole into my trauma history. I kept my answers basic and tried to redirect conversation focus back to work. Finely, he literally said the phrase, "you're too damaged to help".
I broke down in tears, hung up the phone (COIVD) and went to my partner for cuddles. This comment brought back some *thoughts* that I had worked hard to get rid of...
My partner helped me organise an appointment with my regular therapist for the next day, my regular was very shocked that this had happened to me and helped me through self-hatred emotions because they supported me with saying they care, they're happy to work with me, pointing out all my progress, etc.
There's some good and bad therapists out there.
I had a therapist who right during my first consultation told me she couldn't see any issues with me - immediately making me feel unwelcome and guilty for "taking away the spot from people /really/ needed help" and feeling like I was just a whiny crybaby. For some reason she did however continue the sessions but couldn't stop speculating how I might be the way I am because of my chronic illness which in turn must pushed my parents to subconsciously treat me like I'm more fragile and thus spoiling me. So in the end I went into therapy for depression and came out feeling like a spoiled princess whining about stupid stuff. Eventually I stopped going and much later had another crisis and another try with - luckily - a better fit therapist.
@@user-om5tv5fd9sitalics isnt with /this/ its with _ this_
_see_
I am so sorry any of you had to go through that & hope you all are doing much better now. One of my friend went through something similar & despite them being potentially suicidal and abused, she ignored the signs and didn't even bother checking on them when they were in hospital for suicide attempt. In short when she contacted them for follow-up later, they said no & moved onto more suitable therapist. Likewise even in my case, a therapist broke patient-therapy confidentiality and shared unfavorable narrative about me when I was struggling with my mental health. So sadly yeah there are terrible therapists which is why in my peer counseling experience, there are several times I have referred my cases to more experienced people since it's necessary for both therapist and patient to understand their boundaries and if therapy sessions are working or not. A good therapist afterall either way is supposed to be upfront and tell the patient if they feel like they are able/not able to help them before things get worse.
Amen! She had it coming
People who can manipulate therapists DO exist even if it seems unlikely. An ex friend has been going to therapy for over a decade for bpd and uses everything she learns in there to hurt others. Some people are just pure evil.
No human is pure evil. Not even the absolute worst types of criminals, of which I would specify but googletube is against free speech. Pure evil isn't born innocent, which is what babies are, pure evil would be evil that's such from the very beginning.
They absolutely exist. That's why using "you need therapy!" as a gotcha-phrase when dealing with an abuser is a really bad idea.
Abusers will 100% lie through their teeth to the therapist. If they have the right recipe of mental conditions, they won't even realize they're lying. It's up to the therapist to unpick the truth from the conflicting and often self-aggrandizing information, and most therapists aren't psychics.
Until the abuser slips up and contradicts themself, there is no opportunity for a therapist to hear another point of view and realize their client is lying.
Also a big reason going to couples' counseling with an abusive partner is a bad idea. It will not teach them to be less abusive, and if you're doing it in hopes that the therapist/counselor will tell your partner to be nice from now on and they'll listen... Oof. The main outcome is the abuser switching therapists until they find one that agrees with them, or they lie to the therapist about you.
It's very rare for manipulative people to be honest with a therapist. Why would they be? They can get therapy-speak and buzzwords without the mortifying ordeal of self-reflection, emotional vulnerability, nor accountability!
Pure evil, but not for no reason. The behavior is a destructive attempt at desperate self-defense. Though as they say, you can't help those who won't help themselves. And the worse those people do, the more is at stake if they ever saw that they were wrong.
A lot of people with BPD are misdiagnosed and are actually NPD or are BPD with serious narcissistic traits.
Got a family member who did the same
Story 13: that wasn't a matter of not fitting. That woman shouldn't be a therapist at all. If she sees therapy as a game, she has no right seeing patients of any kind.
I had one like that as a teen & I called her out on it
No kidding. She's the kind of person who wants a Hallmark movie type gig where everything is solved in under 90 minutes with a montage and sparkling after effects. Real life is never that pretty.
Fun otter fact: Sea otters don't just have the densest fur of all otters-they have the densest fur of all animals. Otters have as many as 2.6 million hairs per square inch. That makes it about a thousand times more dense than human hair. That thick coat is needed because otters are the only marine mammal without a blubber layer for insulation. They rely on all that fur to trap a layer of air against the surface of their skin, and their fur is perfectly designed to do so because it's dense and spiky. The barbs on each hair strand hold in place the air bubbles that the otters blow into their pelts while grooming-which they can spend up to five hours doing each day. :D
Cool❤
So... no soap for otters😂
Fascinating and completely unrelated to the subject. I enjoyed this for more than one reason.
I thought it was the chinchilla? They literally can not get wet or else their fur will grow mold. That’s why they only take dust baths.
THIS. IS. A. NONSEQUITOR. But man that’s very interesting. Chinchillas are similarly thick coated btw
I had many therapists assert that I was fine, self-aware, and intelligent. Then we had nothing to discuss.
Then I finally found one that realized I might be smart, but I was codependent and the people around me were dangerous.
Therapy itself doesnt mean a lot. It is the right person with the right education for the right patient.
I was smart and worked hard so many people thought I didnt need help until I found the right one.
Even healthy people can be trapped in toxic situations.
Please don't fire your patients (story one). They are coming back for a reason
Their intuition tells them to
The exact same thing happened to me. Part of the issue though was that I had a lot of big questions that left those therapists at a loss. At a point it did seem they were actually benefitting from my insight more than I was theirs. But existential depression particularly is the hardest one to treat.
Very weird, the abuse got so bad I had a psychotic episode for which I was institutionalized, it's hereditary, and a therapist told me, "that really caught me by surprise. You always seemed so level-headed!" which is the equivalent of "How could you get diabetes? You've always eaten so healthily!" So now I'm dealing with that trauma. No one can truly know what's going on beneath the surface.
Nowadays I'd recommend to anyone like me to consider going to law school and becoming a pubic defender. We are determined to find the good and the humanity in others, to give the benefit of the doubt or even play devil's advocate, and that line of work desperately needs us.
@@Manticorn well, I hope you got help for your codependency. I often think about going to law school. I studied copyright law and have an alarming amount of knowledge about labour laws for my area. But that seems tiring. 😂😂😂
I'm bipolar and schizophrenic. The last time I went to a therapist they saw me for 2 weeks and then referred me to some one else.. The happened 6 more times over the course of a few months. The third was a hypnotherapist but canceled after the 2nd session. I finally gave up when the 6th therapist recommended the first one without knowing I'd already seen them.
I'm so sorry to hear that, it really hits close to home. I hope you can find a solution and have more good days than bad ahead of you.
Well I hope you find methods to help yourself. Trying 6 was a good effort.
What was the reason they gave, may I ask?
I'm bipolar and have a family history of schizophrenia (and many other mental illnesses). I'm currently going for my masters to become a therapist to be there specifically for people with mental illness and trauma.
You need a psychiatrist. Not a therapist
(Therapist here) I asked an older teenage client in a diversion program what he thought the outcome was going to be after he got arrested for stealing his mom's credit card. His response was a very casual "I just felt like it." This was after several months of attempting to work with him, get through to him, etc. That answer let me know that he knew what he was doing and was making intentional choices that I couldn't change for him. I recommended him for a higher, more structured level of intervention after a couple more concerning juvenile delinquent behaviors, and then I changed jobs and lost track of him. I genuinely do hope he straightened up. He's gotta be a young adult by now.
he probably had ASPD or bipolar :/
@@sexygirlmax2019 ...no? He did not.
Structured is always suspicious. However he was non compliant and criminal.
@@sexygirlmax2019no he probably didn’t
Stop disclosing private client information smh.
Regarding the therapist who could smell mold on her patient, I can think of a few possible explanations. The therapist could have a hypersensitive sense of smell (some people in the autism spectrum do)or she could be having partial flashbacks without realizing it. It could also be a nose/brain tumor but, if it was only happening with that one particular client, that makes it less likely unless it was a hell of a coincidence.
Or her office needs to be checked.
i catch whiffs of mold and its usually just the smell of soil
Covid can cause people to experience bad smells, even after they have recovered from Covid. I agree, many possible causes of the therapists mold smell that have nothing to do with their client.
Possible OP's client just got scammed, too.
@@sexygirlmax2019soil can contain mold
other thought about the narcissistic mother. almost certainly she pushed as far as she could with bunches of therapists, meaning most therapists did draw a line and she just moved on to a new one. at some point everyone else stopped her, the family just don't know those details because of confidentiality. until she found her "heartmate" because if you look hard enough you can find someone who falls for this.
sounds about right. its not that she beat every therapist she was with. they just tired to help her by finding someone else that might be better at helping her. but she ended up finding her heartmate first sadly. or they are taking a different path to try to help her by letting her believe she won.
to many people try to win therapy but there is no winning. your not battling against the therapist. they are just trying to guild you if anything. kind of like bumpers in a pin ball game. or railing in a bowling ally. I'm sure if you throw the ball hard enough you can bend or break any rail they put there but that's not the point of the railing.
Saw this with an ex. She hopped between therapists until finding one that didn't push back or want to talk about the root causes. She would text that therapist like they were friends. There was never any application of any skills or practices outside of the 1 hour sessions. She would be given various "homework" to do outside sessions, like thought exercises & such, but she didn't do them and would lie to the therapist that she did.
That therapist went out on maternity leave and she was transferred to a colleague, which only became worse. My ex would do therapy weekly in her room and didn't talk quietly, so I'd hear portions while I worked. They talk like friends, like the therapist was talking about their life to her. As far as I know, she's still seeing the therapist and I don't think they've fully realized how wrapped up she makes people.
What is a "heartmate"? I keep getting results for heart pumps and nothing relevant when I add narcissism to the search bar.
@@SylumSolosEverything basically another term for a "soulmate," but not a common term.
I used to work with troubled youth. Not really a therapist, but more like a higher trained baby-sitter. We had one kid who was clearly a product of incest. Like, textbook case. He was there because he raped a 2 year old child. At age 12. The kid could not. Stop. Touching. Himself. He could be standing there talking to you and have his hands down his pants and didn't seem to realize it until you told him to knock it off. He was locked up for several years there and really the only change that I saw from him was that he actually apologized to me twice for trying to be nasty towards me. Like, it finally clicked that he was hurting other people. But I don't think he can really stop himself from hurting others in the long run. Very sad.
RAD? Those kids are hopeless. They tend to become sociopathic as adults.
@@jamesard5258 I don't know what RAD is actually. This was The Division of Youth Services in Missouri. Honestly, if they just stuck with the treatment itself and quit trying to enforce all the other dumbass rules, I think it would be a WHOLE LOT more beneficial for the kids. Only a small amount of time was allowed for actually doing therapy and doing programming work. The rest was bullshit rules that we were required to enforce. I work in a prison now, and holy shit! These inmates have it so much better than the kids I had to deal with. Not exaggerating.
Are you like a correctional behavior?
@@valhatan3907 Something like that. We had to be like therapists for them, even though we weren't trained therapists. We basically gave them worksheets to do that were supposed to help them figure out their triggers, how to cope with their traumas, etc. We had group meetings where the kids talk about their traumas and feelings. Most of the time however, was enforcing a bunch of bullshit rules. I'm sure this place actually caused more trauma to them than actually helped them. I only stayed as long as I did because I felt sorry for them and didn't want to abandon them. I got in trouble so much myself because I didn't enforce all the bullshit the managers were pushing. (I crap you not. By the end of my time there, they were trying to stop kids from looking out the window). This was Watkins Mill Park Camp in Lawson, Missouri. They are under new management now and I've heard it's better. I'd stay far away from them though.
Future cult leader there.
*Devil's advocate about the mould thing: I'm in my early 30s now and only just realized through scientific method and experiments that I can smell and taste mould that other people can't.*
I'm severely allergic to mould and anything mould-related: penicillin (which they tested me for at birth due to family history of deadly allergies, yet no medical professional ever thought to tell me was mould, would've saved me a lot of time and trial and error), mushrooms, certain supplements which are cultured/grown in aspergillus aka asparagus mould, snow mould (why I couldn't figure out why my "seasonal allergies" came earlier than everyone else's), etc.
I kept getting a weird metallic flavor in food that other people around me couldn't detect. I used my fiancé as my "control" variable and finally figured out I was literally a human mould detector. (Probably other people have this as well but never figure it out because they don't think quite as analytically as I do lol.) It also made me recontextualize the year I lived in my first apartment (that was very old and poorly run by a sketchy landlord) and was allergic all the time, and how it magically went away after I moved... it was probably full of black mould. 😓
So, in their defense, perhaps this person was like me and was really bothered by the smells and effects they were getting, even if nobody else was picking up on them. I can't even eat certain foods because they taste like someone sprayed Lysol in my mouth, and my fiancé would be like: "well this cheese doesn't taste like it's at it's utmost freshest but it's still very much edible" whereas I couldn't even taste the cheese because the metallic taste was so strong.
In a weird way, the therapist was kind of doing you a favor, and it would be in your best interest to move. Some moulds can even cause hallucinations and psychotic episodes (google it). There are theories that the Salem Witch Trial craze was linked to a particular type of fungus that was particularly rampant at that exact time.
Honestly we should be embracing human mould detectors such as myself, we could probably save you a lot of health issues in the future, mould is bad for absolutely everyone even if you're not overtly allergic to it, and contributes to inflammation (which causes cancer) and directly contributes to lung cancer.
certain types of cheese are actually produced using mould, so if you're that sensitive to it then that might actually be the problem there. if you're allergic to penicillin then you probably know already that bleu cheese contains penicillin mould (my mom is allergic to penicillin so this is how I know that fact), but cheeses like brie and camembert have a mould rind, and other cheeses like cheddar can sometimes be produced using mould-derived enzymes instead of rennet. so i wonder if the problem was not that the cheese had begun to go mouldy, but that you're so sensitive to it you can actually taste the mould from its production.
@@TheGuindo So fascinating, thank you for all that info! It’s so wild how hard it’s been to figure this all out by trial and error, the supplement one was so perplexing to me because I kept having strange allergic reactions to supplements that weren’t known to be allergenic and I swear so many people thought I was just making shit up for attention. Same goes when you’re making a face at how disgusting a cheese tastes and everyone thinks you’re being dramatic but to me it’s seriously like eating Lysol. What helped me finally figure it out was a childhood memory when I had to be on antibiotics and my grandma tried crushing them up in a thick soup and I couldn’t even taste the soup. Ive never been attracted to bleu cheese in any way so I hadn’t figured that one out yet. Same went for mushrooms they always grossed me out so I didn’t figure that allergy out til my mid 20s. And I’ve been starting to wonder if I’m really allergic to coconut too or if some coconuts are just mouldy. It’s a real fun journey of self discovery. Hence why I try to spread the word lol
@@ette_ca if you haven’t already, there’s blood tests you can ask your doctor to run to check for allergies. It’s how I found out that my laundry list of foods that make me sick aren’t *technically* allergies, which means I still shouldn’t eat them but I don’t need to worry about anaphylaxis.
My best friend and room mate has a super sniffer. She can smell rotten or moldy things that I can't. My nose doesn't work super well and hers works too well. So she makes sure I don't have anything rotten and makes sure none of my clothes or anything smell off without me realizing and I take care of all the stinky jobs she can't stand like taking the trash out or cleaning out rotten stuff from the fridge, etc.
@@ette_ca i bet there's something fungus-derived being used in the casing for the supplements that you're having reactions with. or, if you are allergic to coconuts, many supplements contain stearic acid which can be derived from coconut oil. sadly that's not very helpful even if it's what's happening, because stearic acid can be derived from an extremely wide variety of sources and none of the supplement bottles I checked listed how theirs was sourced on the ingredients list.
i agree with @pigcatapult, if you have access to / money for healthcare you should look into allergy testing. there's a patch test where they put adhesive patches on you and see if you have a skin reaction, and there's a skin prick test where they stick the allergens just under your skin (like tattoo ink depth) and see if you react. there is also blood testing that looks for antibodies but they're usually looking for something specific with those and the patch/prick tests are better for looking at a wide variety of potential allergens.
I had a therapist tell me I needed to learn how to prioritize her time because I missed one appointment. I had the flu, I was throwing up while I asked her to reschedule.
When I fired her on the spot for that bullshit, I think she figured out she could not help me.
Story 11
That child is a danger to not only themselves but to literally everyone else. They should be put on the highest security ward of a psych hospital (pink slipped or court ordered), where they’d be medicated and actually have a chance of getting better.
It happened many years ago so I highly doubt that they actually got proper treatment.
don't worry, that story is clearly made up, everything about it is unrealistic.
Honestly, that one is so far off. He might actually be completely unable to be helped.
Hopefully he can somehow help himself a bit. I hope the therapist gave him some puzzle pieces to work with before stopping the therapy. Now his own brain is the only thing that can save him
I actually agree with the OP of the story. The only solution for that kid is a quick and painless end.
@@karspostema2762the child in the 11th story was a girl
Story #10 is a SERIOUS breach of interest. That therapist needs to be exposed.
Definitely. A therapist is supposed to have boundaries and that is definitely not ethical.
That therapist really thought they were John Liebert playing mind games 😂
jesus the kid that was abused so much was devastating and so sad
honestly i wish i never heard this one but stories like this help people recognize signs in others so they might be able to help them escape these horrible situations
The kid isn't beyond repair, stuff like this happens more often than people like to imagine. The therapist just wasn't the right one and now needs to sort trough his own trauma. Even a good education can't prepare you for everything.
How? How can anything good come for that kid? They are so terribly broken, never even had a chance, and they can't get any stability because they lash out and literally hurt people.@@dannyvalward1524
@@dannyvalward1524no, there are some cases that will never be "fixed" and that definitely sounded like one of these. That's a case that ends in two ways, self unalive/getting themselves unalived or lifetime in high security prison/closed mental asylum.
There is no other way in some cases.
No, this actually isn’t good They violated their clients confidentiality. They can lose their license.
@@Itsblurryyyy they didn't
I had a therapist in high school who actually made my mental illness worse. I had one session with her before she told my parents I was hopeless and they should be prepared for me to shoot up a school. Meanwhile I was self-harming, suicidal, and suffering heavily from severe PTSD from my parents abuse. Not once did I express a desire to hurt anyone, just a want to no longer exist. She proceeded to do EMDR therapy and didn’t properly bring me out of it, leaving me to go home still highly triggered and not knowing how to handle the flashbacks since she left me with no coping mechanisms. She often told me during sessions that she supported breast feeding children to the age of 7 and did it with her own son (not sure why she felt the need to share that) and her office smelled like weed every time I entered the room and had smoke like she had just finished smoking. She also tricked me into inpatient care by telling me it was like summer camp and that she had connections with the hospital that would allow her to pull me out if I at all felt uncomfortable. I found out quickly that most of the other people there were severely violent and only triggered my PTSD so when I tried to get her to help me leave, the hospital said they had no idea who she was and she had no connections with them whatsoever. It took them a few days to realize the environment was actually making me worse and I was discharged quickly. I continued to see that therapist for a week or so but she decided to drop me because I was “resistent to treatment” after I finally had the courage to confront her about her lies about the hospital. Worst therapist I’ve ever had.
Yikes.
It wasn’t a therapist, but I’ve been in a couple situations where someone’s attempt to fix a problem made it worse. For example, I’m sensitive to sound and have been pretty much since birth. Some paraprofessionals at my elementary school (like I said, not even therapists) decided to “fix” this by *forcing me to use an air hand dryer without covering my ears*. Which only made me more afraid of hand dryers and also afraid of any form of desensitization.
so many weird and manipulative “therapists” in the world. They are more nuts than us!! Sorry for your experience and I hope your doing better
After 20 years of marriage counseling and both of us doing individual counseling, I called it quits on our marriage. I found another counselor who helped me with the PTSD from events in my marriage. Once separated, my mental health improved remarkably. Now happily remarried and life is great. I contacted the previous counselor, just to give him an update on my life. He told me he knew our marriage would never work out, but due to ethics he couldn't tell us that. Um, thanks?! So, yah, counselor knew all along that now ex-husband was the issue.
I wish it was ok to be like, "Yeah, this relationship is toxic. You need to get out asap."
I'm suddenly reminded of a friend of mine was doing couple counseling with their toxic ex and yeah they can't say break up. HOWEVER, they can use the words 'take a break' from each other like that counselor which is what this counselor did and he was able to move on to someone who was nicer and not abusive with the separation. It sad they didn't try that method it subtle but not a direct break up. And the separation might have allowed you to likely see it wasn't going to work, but it in the past and at least you're moving on now.
i wish counselors could tell people to break up. but it is also the issue that which ever is the abuser might stop the person to go seek counseling, or either person might get up set their "precious marriage" is being challenged and stop seeing the counselot, because I am sorry to say this 20 years is a bloody long time to not realise your marriage is a mess. It would be almost easier to tell people in the early days their marriage is messy then people who stuck around for decacades because they are clearly either delusional or brainwashed to stick around a mess for that long and saying that directly might be counter productive, and it is easier to slowly guide them through it and have a realisation themselves. I've seen such cases myself the level of subborn ness of people staying a house on fire because "but i love them, but they can be nice sometimes, but I invested so many years, but I dont want to be alone , bu who will love me?". There are different types of people and some people you just cant be direct to depending on their personality, up bringing and state of mind due to circumstances at the time. The same way some people need to learn for years what red flags look like, and some people spot them from a mile away.
My narcissistic sociopath mother fooled every therapist she had. Every. Last. One. Every last one gave her Carte Blanche to turn her abuse up to maximum.
That story about the kid hits hard. I worked an acute psych hospital for years and the only ward that frightened me was the kids.
My mom has a friend whose only child ( i can't really remember, but he was a young man, maybe 17-20 ) killed himself in their family home. She sought therapy and her therapist told her, " You aren't a mother anymore, and you need to accept that. "
She never told my mom his name because she knew she/we would track him down and beat his ass.
Or maybe, just maybe, he would have told you that your mother's friend is a schizo freak that's lying about everything and might even be the main cause why her son is dead and she didn't want that getting back to you lot, but needed a plausible explanation for why she's no longer going.
thats one of the cruelest things someone couldve done...
The one saying there are 3 reasons for clients beeing let go. I have personally experienced another one. In my country, there is a shortage of therapists. And way to many people that need help. So in my case, as someone who's got all my evaluations, diagnosis, medications, and all therapists and doctors agree is never going to be well, we are just shoooed out of therapy to make room for someone they can "cure" and turn into a contributing member of society.
People like me are given some tools, and some therapy that doesn't really work, and told to contact our primary care doctors for a referal(that can take 8 months to 2 years) if we get any immediate thought of self deleting..
Pretty much. Sadly in a state with better mental healthcare than any other state, There is an 8 week waiting period and they will basically give you the most severe anti depressants that can easily kill you, but won’t proscribe weed. And told me he would kick me off my healthcare if i kept insisting, it is the only thing that kind of helped.
@@user-cw3wm9lx7w That stuff is illegal in my country. And they are strict on medication too. It's pretty much a "try to be positive and wait for help" 😐
Terribly sorry, my friend! Absolutely brutal
Growing up, and in my early adulthood, I had serious anger management issues. I'd blow up on loved ones, I'd make poor decisions as a result of it, and I almost lost my child over it. I recognized I had a serious problem, but I was unable to get therapy because it cost too much and I didn't have insurance so it wasn't possible. I had to do my own soul searching. Why am I so angry all the time? What can I do to retain control? I worked through my issue day by day, understanding that it was a result of unresolved conflict from my youth. My dad wasn't the best father figure growing up. But I didn't just blame it on that. I worked through that, using it as a starting point, and I routed through. I kept talking it out with myself, internally or audibly, and eventually I found my chill. I still get moments where I get really angry, but I otherwise have full control over my emotions now, and I'm a more pleasant person to be around.
Good for you. That’s a very hard thing to do on your own. Takes a lot of, usually painful, insight. And it’s habit as well, so that has to be dealt with.
Hope you’re still doing well!
Often when you are are angry and pissed of by life, they want you to turn into obedient, subservient little angels who swallow the sh1t that gets shoved down their throats until they unalive themselves. Because unaliving yourself is considered the least property- damaging action by society, instead of getting back at the suckers who wronged/hurt/abused you. Suicide is born out of trained helplessnes towards societal rules and expectations. "Dont fight back, turn the other cheek, anger is forbidden" is all they wanna stuff into your head nowadays, it seems.
sure but that is only one side, because if you are or turn into a rage monster they will also use by putting you down as an example of their power or by using you as a violent human weapon to hurt others ( alot of people who end up in law enforcement or in the military used a rabid sheep dogs to keep the population under control and to terrorize people). Particualry in men rage is very much accepted and is also used to harm others. As a woman I know for a fact that one of the reasons men who do domestic violence or who are rapists get let go easily or back into the polulation to keep women "in check" all men may not be violent or r@pist but all men benefit from women being terrified, intimitated to men (makes them easier to control, more obidient, easier to make them submit to the "good men" to be used etc.). Anger is a secondary emotion and is usually triggerd by the primary emotions like fear for example. And not having your emotions in check is a risk to your own safety and the safety of the people around you that you migh care about. The point is not to supress or ignore emotions that is unhealthy. The important point is not be out of control of yourself. It is good to fell all your emotions, understand them, know how to manage them not supress them, know how to work through them in a healthy way for yourself. Also it is good to understand how to not let others be easily be able to trigger you or control your emotions why understand, embracing and managing your emotions in a healthy manner you are helping yourself and protecting yourself. There is many ways to stand up for yourslef and rage will not help you to take rational decisons to help yourself. YOur emotions can motivate you but they need to be guided by rationaloity and thoughtfullness, and sometimes due to lack of self awarness and or lack of empathy and an objective understanding of a situation going into a blind rage mode makes you misinterpret the entire situation and leads to very bad results for you and the people around you. Also you can stand up for yourself without going into rage mode. being treated badly will make you angry which will trigger you to want to defend yourself which is natural but we also have too look at the situation some entitled people get angry and feel "attacked" if you do not do what they want and see your disobidienc of them as a personl insult (this is why self awarness is important), sometimes we might of misinterpreted a situation and if we just asked for clarification there would be no need to rage, sometimes we are in a sensitive state of mind and more iritable and have an over blown reaction to an "offence" against us. This is why emotional regulation is important and self awarness. Also we live on earth will have harsh times more or less gettting angry at that long term is a waste of your energy and tiresome, also letting your anger out on others who for your feelings of anger towards life is not rational or justified. Because everyone has to deal with their own problems. There are healthy ways and outlets for all your feelings it is up to you to choose those instead of taking out your anger on other people. @@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65
You must be such a good person, i wish to be like that one day. For some reason I've always complained and lashed out over really unimportant things, even though i have no problems in life, it's literally perfect. I've always thought i would become a better and calmer person as i grew up, but it doesn't seem to be happening 😅 For some reason, once you get angry, it feels impossible and unnecessary to stop. I envy the girl from the 11th story because she at least has an excuse for her horrible behaviour
I love the car mechanic analogy. This is a reminder for us that not every problems we can solve.
I had a professional therapist reach out to me because he got circumcised because of penile cancer and wanted to join my jewish community. He wanted to roleplay intimate situations with me related to his circumcision. I was psychotic at the time and didn’t realise what was going on until much later.
This was during the time when you could still send private messages to profiles that didn’t follow you back in twitter.
I was in contact with him for only a couple of months, and he knew the whole time I was doing poorly and was psychotic, and he didn’t try to get me any help at all. He was only there to use me.
Jesus that sounds terrible. I hope you’re in a better place than you were back then
Wow
There's a reason he went for you and not a non-psychotic client of his. I'm so sorry you were preyed upon like that.
funthing is when you have a group of therapists, psychologists and neurologists sit you down and tell you "Yep. That's it. Can't do anything more for you, and you've also exhausted all other options. Sorry to say, this isn't going to get better, most likely gets only worse from here on out."
😐
You keep looking. As a therapist myself over the years there have been a few who we’ve decided together I wasn’t the best fit for them. Doesn’t mean the therapist is bad just like relationships some people work together and some don’t. As a child growing up with PTSD from 13 years old until my 30s now it took me years to find the right person to help me. Don’t give up looking for help even if you go through 20 therapist the 21st may be the one
If you have multiple therapists and psychologists telling you to effectively give up, you need to report them cuz that is absolutely not appropriate. But I find that highly unlikely and echo the previous reply; keep looking. I've been in and out of therapy for over 20 years and only 1 in maybe 10 therapists are sort of worth it and I've only ever had 2 that really changed my life. And they were worth the near endless disappointment of searching for them. But the 2 that changed my life honestly gave me my life back. Depends really on what you got going on, what you're seeking treatment for, and what kind of treatment plan you feel comfortable with AND will actually help you. I went super hard mode cuz I didn't wanna be on meds and VERY FEW therapists were interested in indulging that treatment plan lol. Don't give up though. Huge streaks of bad luck is, unfortunately, pretty common, but there's a mental health professional out there that will fit your needs.
I had multiple neurologist say that sorta stuff, and it wasn't until I found my current neurologist/hospital that I been the best I've been for 20 years.
Keep trying. I had got passed between multiple therapists and deemed unhelpable as well until I finally found one who was able to point out that my untreatable mental health was because of incorrect diagnosis combined with other factors. This took years and multiple times of me giving up on therapy before it happened. But once I started to get taught how to process what I actually had I saw great improvement so don't give up cause no one is unhelpable.
@@illudian it’s all about perspective! Just bc someone gives you a negative reaction doesn’t mean the circle has to continue. Sadly we won’t see justice every time someone wrongs us. We can choose how we react/respond Look at their ignorance as a blessing, no matter how wrong they may be see it as a positive. The trash took itself out essentially and made room for more positive in your life. I’m so glad to hear a few bad apples didn’t deter you!
Can you make a video called:
Clients / people, when did you realize a therapist or Psychologist DIDN’T WANT to help you
I can answer this one. I saw several therapists between age 15 and 17. Which looking back, I should not have seen so many. Most of them were guidance counselors at school though, so they weren't equipped to help much. I had one therapist that was fresh out of college. She made no attempts to help me, and I was a very quiet and withdrawn teenager. For many years, I was like this. So when it came time to see a therapist for SH behaviors, this new therapist that had little experience would sit with me in silence, and I would stare out the window while she stared at me. After a few sessions, she said she couldn't help me. But looking back, I think she didn't want to. I would have opened up to her if given a little push. At the time, I was being emotionally and verbally abused by my mom, and I was afraid to say anything. I wanted help, I needed help, but she did not want to provide it to such a quiet, withdrawn client. Perhaps she saw it as someone not wanting help.
Yes!! Where there are good therapists…they are some toxic ones too!
Story 11 made me cry. What a horrible situation for everyone involved.
"You can only save people who want to be saved." -Morro the ghost, LEGO Ninjago
I ended up quitting therapy after realizing there was absolutely nothing they could do for me. It wasn't that I couldn't be helped, it was just that my ability to help myself is TOO good. All the techniques they knew were ineffective because I was already employing them, and as an outside person they couldn't provide anything that a friend couldn't do better. Most of my mental health issues come from being abused and trapped in this situation by circumstances outside of my control, I'm rarely actually doing anything wrong and when I occasionally am, by the time of the appointment I'm already fully aware. I really need "assignments" of things I can PRACTICALLY do to change my behaviour, not just talking through it. For example when my agoraphobia was at an all time high I really needed someone to tell me that not only was it OKAY to just go outside for no practical reason (like just for a walk or something) but that I NEEDED to do that to lessen my anxiety around it. This was pre COVID btw. Unfortunately, therapists always just want me to vent to them, then get frustrated with me when my problems aren't things like school/work stress or dating, but are instead deeply engrained traumas, even if the therapist CLAIMED to be equipped to handle trauma.
There is one exception to this. I had one therapist that was temporary as I was transitioning from an independent practice into a specific program for underage LGBTQ+ people (unfortunately pediatric therapists are especially unequipped for people who are already masters of introspection and have severe issues beyond just "I can't keep up with homework"), and I was assigned a therapist only during the transition period. She was perfect. An example of something she did: When I told her that I used art (particularly storyboards/animatics) to express things I struggle to put into words, she assigned me an art project. She told me to make a storyboard portraying my current struggles. So, I did, and I showed it to her. It facilitated the conversation as I explained what was happening in the animation and how it connected to my real life, and for once I felt like a therapist was actually starting to GET the real problems. I was so excited. Unfortunately that was when I got into the real program. First therapist there literally laughed at me because with my art I tend to use stylised cartoon cats to express my feelings (which actually has a good reason, TLDR Neglectful parents + pet cats growing up + autism = I emotionally connect with cats and their ways of expressing better than with humans) and generally felt like a bully.
I quit and never looked back. My mental health improved significantly by no longer needing to constantly relive every awful thing that happens each week, and I've been able to focus on giving MYSELF assignments to work on things. I'm not 100%, definitely not, but I'm both a much better person and a lot CLOSER to happy than I was in therapy. Doubt I'll ever try it again, therapy made an already shitty adolescence incredibly worse.
Sounds like narcissism.
@@fatuusdottore I don't think you know what narcissism is
@@fatuusdottore Sounds like you're projecting.
@fatuusdottore
Actually, sounds more like autismn, but from an outsiders perspective the two can be confused. Still, both are legit and neither are monsters so either way, the important thing is you are doing better!
I could have written this(and I love the stylized cats idea, I connect best with cats too). I'm autistic and have also been through abuse and there was only one therapist that actually helped me. Then she retired, and the subsequent therapists have been largely a waste of time and money. I always tell them up front that I know what's wrong with me and what treatments work best. I have PTSD from emotional abuse from my histrionic mother and, as an adult, narcissistic partners(did you know that growing up in an abusive family basically makes you a narc magnet? Ain't that some shit), and EMDR and hypnosis help me the most. But in my experience most therapists push CBT and talk therapy on everyone, and that is why I quit. CBT is a thought-modifying technique meant to treat things like anxiety and cognitive distortions and for that it's effective, but PTSD settles in the limbic system which is not affected by thoughts or even accessible to the conscious mind. I can vent my feelings, reframe my thoughts, and repeat "I am safe now" mantras all day long but my amygdala won't hear it. CBT/talk therapy treats involuntary limbic responses like irrational thought patterns that people can just choose to change, which is ineffective at best and re-traumatizing at worst. It ignores the very valid reasons for why you feel bad, instead pathologizing your feelings and beliefs about what happened to you as the real problem. In a nutshell it's "your feelings are wrong, suppress them and think positively", and patients are often told that if they don't get results it's because they didn't work hard enough or didn't want to get better. How many times was I told I was overreacting, irrational, illogical, too negative, etc by my abusers? And now I gotta hear it from my therapist too? Nah. How about I just do what I need at home instead of paying someone to teach me how to gaslight myself.
I made so much more progress after quitting therapy. I started doing my own research, doing my own EMDR, and learning as much as I could about cluster B disorders to arm myself against getting sucked in by another one. I'm doing 1000x better on my own, I'm not having flashbacks or panic attacks anymore and I actually feel confident for the first time in my life. I'm not saying ALL therapy is useless, but if it's not helping you(or if it's making you feel worse) then there's no shame in quitting. Most therapy I've been through has been little more than toxic positivity reframed as psychology.
My childhood, not therapist, but psychiatrist lost her license recently and honestly, she needed to never work with kids again. My mom, who was a diagnosed narcissist, would take over the family sessions and spin this narrative that us kids were the problem. My mom came from a family where kids are seen and not heard, which meant she hated that we were normal kids who got into spats with each other, were messy, and just generally ditsy like kids are. Eventually, when I started having one on one sessions and explained the physical abuse going on behind the scenes (Kneeling on rice, getting hit with whatever my mom had in her hands until it broke, her allowing her bio-daughter to abuse us emotionally, physically, and s-xually too) the psychiatrist went to my mother and told her everything I said instead of reporting it like she was supposed to do.
Then all of my one-on-one sessions turned into Mom, psychiatrist, and me. My psychiatrist eventually pulled the "I can't help you if you don't communicate with me" pity card a year later when she had a chance with me alone because I basically shut down in sessions and answered as vaguely as possible or just said everything was fine. I was suicidal at the age of 11 but had no idea what that meant and when I described my very intense feelings to my psychiatrist finally out of desperation to get the emotional suffering to stop *she laughed in my face and said kids my age don't get depressed* and that I must have looked up those symptoms on the internet. I assume this was because my mom told her I was spending a lot of time on the family computer then, but I was doing that so I didn't have to interact with anyone in the house and because it passed the time faster to me so I didn't have to be awake or aware.
We ended up finishing up our legally mandated sessions and she wrote about us in a book and published it somewhere. I'm not giving the name for obvious reasons because when I read what she wrote about me I wanted to ruin her life. She lied about so much and stated that I had some sort of attention seeking behavioral disorder and while she couldn't give me a diagnosis for habitually lying she wished she could. My suicidal feelings never got treated and I ended up almost successfully taking my life on the night of my 16th birthday. My little sister found me and called the police. My mom still didn't piece it together until I spelled it out for her 7 months after I recovered because I started spiraling again. The psychiatrist ended up losing her license due to the exact thing she was doing with my family, but with another one on the other side of the country. I don't want to think about how many lives she made worse or possibly ended due to her lack of professionalism.
I just want to let you know that I’m glad you’re still here despite all that. You didn’t deserve any of that ❤
How horrible!!! Truly, there are purely evil people out there that hide behind a Psychology or Psychiatry degree and use their status to prey on the weak and vulnerable who come to them seeking help.
I would have sued. that's libel
@GiordanDiodato I was a kid and then a teen when I found out about the book. It's been a few years so I'm sure statute of limitations are up, but from what my mom told me her husband left her and took the kids and a bunch of other stuff happened on top of the loss of her license. I don't often believe in karma, but karma definitely caught up to her.
My mom is a complete narcissist, only shes really bad at hiding it. The mere mention of her needing to go to therapy is enough to set her on a warpath.
As another person with a narcissist mother who is kinda bad at hiding it, only now do I realize how blessed I am by comparison to have one that sucks at being one. I still think theres no hope of saving her, but she’s certainly much better than many horror stories I’ve heard of parents actively trying to destroy their kids. Mine just thinks of me as an extension of herself and rages and verbally abuses for most part. Can’t physically abuse me anymore because I’m a legal adult now haha sucker
About the smelly but not smelly woman.
It might very well be that the therapist was having either an hallucination linked to her own past that the patient triggered or hyperosmia, which is a very strong sense of smell, often related to specific smells linked to trauma. If that therapist had health issue over these, they might very well have been born from a personal trauma.
At any rate, that was unprofessional of her to risk her patient having any doubt that she was in fault in any way about this rejection. She should not even have spoken about the smell when she told her patient that she could not help her.
Or the patient just stinks. People can just be stinky.
@@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961 Oh, really? Such a original idea, I'm sure you're the only one to have thought she might just actually be smelly.
@@FlorestanTrement What are you acting like this for? You dont have to make it seem like the therapist had some issue. A lot of people really do just stink. And youre really trying to blame the therapist.
@@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961 Why are you getting so worked up about the fact that I said that she *might* have had an hallucination? It's not like I had said she was stupid or something. It's not an insult. It's a possibility. Why would you hear it as a "blame"?
Hallucinations are very common, everyone has some at some point or other. And many symptoms can cause such hallucinations on top of it. The most obvious ones happen during the grief over the death of a loved one, when you see them everywhere. Never had one of these? Sure, most people don't realize what hallucinations are even when they are obvious.
But sure, the woman is most probably just smelly.
I was once told by 2 therapists that im untreatable d ue to BPD (EUPD).
I'm glad i never gave in and found someone willing to help me and kinda helped me realize that my flareups were more than likely due to my underlying addiction to alcohol
As far as I'm aware, any apparent addiction to alcohol is simply a maladaptive coping mechanism for underlying issues.
For the one with the hopeless child i get why the poster said they didnt want to have kids, from my perspective yeah being in that environment would never do that to a kid but all it takes is one slip up- maybe youre in a parking lot and look away for two seconds and boom, theyre gone into someones car never to be seen again. Theres a hundred different ways it could happen, and i know it's highly unlikely but i know that i could never deal with that if i had a child.
8:25 It is believable for manipulative narcissists have a knack for that, and it's part of why therapy doesn't work on them. They have a way of playing the victim that is extremely convincing, even therapists fall for it. I saw in a documentary a therapist who trained specifically to spot manipulative narcissists and not fall for their BS but even they said that it was hard to resist sometimes.
Do you remember the documentary name or anything by any chance?
@@aymcleonidas195 ^ tell me as wel i’m interested
I've heard terrible stories about therapists, so when things got bad enough that I realized I needed professional help, it took me a while to open up to my therapist.
Thankfully she was one of the good ones.
And the few times I felt uncomfortable during a session or in her approach, we talked it out and adjusted to each other.
I don't think therapy solves everything, but I also think it's very necessary for some people.
Especially if you're like me, who has enough emotional intelligence to know what's wrong and what's causing you to feel off, but you're also unable to effectively take the steps to solve or deal with it.
Bc more often than not, people think they're being perfectly rational when thinking about their emotional issues.
When in fact they can back themselves into a corner where you only have negative options.
For me at least my therapist helps me not to realize and have that big "aha" moment, but to support me and give me tools to deal with whatever I feel like I can't.
When I was a teenager I was seeing a therapist through a catholic charity. I saw her for about 3 months, and I was just starting to make progress. I finally got to the point were I trusted her enough to let her in on what was really going on. I mentioned that I thought I may be Bi. She suddenly started getting weird and said I didn't need therapy anymore. It was out of the blue, and clearly not true. I think it was a religious thing, but I don't know.
All the same I never went to therapy again. I still have the same baggage I did before, but now I don't think I'll ever be able to open up to anyone again.
I understand how you feel. A lot of my problems stem from being an LGBT+ person in a culture that's homophobic and transphobic. But due to that same culture, I will never be able to talk to a professional about my problems. I am looking for a therapist right now, and it feels so hopeless. Not only is it hard to find a therapist in general, but people like us have an added worry that might make otherwise fitting therapists give up on us
I agree with you but you need to first get out of the mindset that you need validation from the therapist or that the therapist validates you. That is not the case they are there to give YOU a service that is their job and profession. The therapist is not fitting if they do not see you as a whole person and treat you wholistically. People are not cut up in sections, you are complete in who you are and they have to support you as a WHOLE.it It would not be them giving up it would be them failing YOU and failing in their profession. YOu should seek out therapist that are trained in the modern schools of thought not that a person is broken but often is dysfuncitonal due to the hostile environment ie the environment is what is dysfunctiona/broken hence making the individual be in a dysfunctional state. This is not just a problem with people who are LGBTQIA+ but also for all people who have to live in the dysfunction of society (all the isms are creating mental breaks in people both in those who are being discriminated against and those who enable it/benefit from it). I really hope you find a worthy fit for you. Also i hope i wasnt belittling what you were talking about my intention was to agree with you and add on that people should not act or treat the problems that LGBTQIA+ people go through as some niche/side issue but as all of humanities issue because the treatment of the marginalised also spills over to everyone (obviously is experienced in the extreme by the marginalised people).@@seacrystal6189
For the child that is extremely violent, try building a foundation of good memories. Because from a logistical perspective: their life sucked - they were tormented before being introduced to therapy. Therapy isn’t fun. So, to me it sounds like they don’t have any good experiences.
So, how can you cure someone who’s been through that? Are you going to help them understand that their life has 0 ups?
Idk. You were a therapist charged with an impossible task, whom also needs therapy… You helped a lot of people, and still (possibly punish) keep yourself from having kids because that one.
But Im not a therapist, so, sorry
Couldn't give them good experiences because they lashed out at everything. No hope for that kid other than a highly medicated cell in a psych ward, what kind of life is that?
She may be too far gone to even try to build a foundation on. I mean, swallowing broken glass to get to the hospital and run? Unless they full on handcuff and strap her down or throw her in a padded cell, they'll never be able to do anything for her, but of course, what kind of memories will she get from being bound or caged like that?
I don't think she can be saved. She was broken too much.
This is a very simplistic view
@@cyberspace7208 One client type you can't help as a therapist are the people who don't want to be helped. You can spend every therapy moment with them, talk to them, converse, get to know each other better. But if they don't want to be better or try to get better or have a better life. Then there's a big chance that nothing will change. Someone who isn't open to trying out new ways to cope with life will never try those new things.
Usually those situations happen with people who have already given up on themselves. And it's heart wrenching to see. Most I know would end up trying to find a way to show their client that they're worth it, that they shouldn't give up on themselves. But in the end all the power is with the client. And you can't help everyone, it's their choice. It's also why I feel like mandatory therapy doesn't always get the results the people hope for.
You'd need to get them a therapist that can get through to them. And that's never an easy feat.
The brainwashed therapist one-you’ve never met my mother. Looks and charm and the appearance of goodness can take you FAR in life. She can charm anyone, even police. You don’t know how susceptible people are to a beautiful person with charisma-they are like moths that fly right into a flame because it’s beautiful and mesmerizing. It looks so pretty and feels so good and warm-how can it be bad??? It CAN. If OP’s mother is anything like mine-you would be surprised. She’s like one of those monster sirens of the sea that lure men to their destruction on the rocks. That’s the problem with narcissists-they have no problem at all ruining others with every manipulation tactic known to mankind. They are GOOD at what they do. This is a woman who can take the coat off her own back in winter and give it to someone poor and get the world staring at her like she’s an angel of light and goodness-and then turn around and force her child to be put through a window at her own friend’s house to go unlock the door to let her in so she can steal her jewelry and valuables. True story. One who conned a lonely old bachelor out of a hefty diamond engagement ring, a new expensive car, money, etc after he won the actual lottery (for real, millions of dollars) and then left him for a younger sleazebag hot guy who was abusive to her. After that relationship broke up, I watched her date a different guy for money who quickly figured her out and dropped her-which p-ssed her off. She slashed her own tires with a box cutter, called the police and they came over. She cried real tears explaining the last guy abused her (he didn’t) and now he was stalking her and cut her tires to threaten her. The police-like usual-fell for her pretty face and sad tears and abused little girl act (and they deal with liars every day and can spot lying) and they fell all over themselves to baby her and promised to look out for her and protect her from the big bad guy who was trying to hurt her-in other words. Then she went inside after they left, called up a new potential guy she had waiting in line for her, cried the same bullsh-t to him on the phone about how was she supposed to take care of her little girl NOW? She had no tiiiires on her car! Her mean ex slashed them! So he rushed right over to save her and baby her and get her a set of four new tires for her car. While she was waiting I said to her “why did you do all that? Why did you lie?” Her: “because my ex left me, and because I needed new tires anyway. Now both things are taken care of. I killed two birds with one stone.” She smiled spitefully, smugly. She also beat me black and blue as a child to the point of the school calling her on it. People noticed. Other kids saw my skin in gym class. She conned her way out of that one too. So yes-even therapists can be conned. She’s done that too. It’s so easy to do when they only get one side of the story from the source who only wants an echo chamber chamber of “I’m right” and manipulates and skews the stories in their own favor. No one else is there to tell them the truth, so if the person in therapy only ever lies-they’ll never know the real truth because they are smart enough to not tell it. And charming enough to be believable.
I've had to deal with people like this, but damn, I'm so sorry that person is your mother.
I really don't get this. I'm not infallible, but again and again, I see people like this for what they are. I would bottle and distribute this ability if I could.
@@janerecluse4344 If you could bottle and sell it, you'd be a hero and a trillionare. I wish more people had that ability..
Sometimes I feel like I have that ability as well, because *both* of my parents are exactly like this and yet they are almost polar opposites of each other.
When I was young (and honestly still to the day) I had extreme fear of going against either of them (I say go against but I don't mean blatantly, I mean when my parents instigated things out of absolutely nothing like I forget to do something or I said something they didn't like) because I knew they could both easily hurt me *and* get people on their side. It was hell with I'd get in the cross fire of one parent being against another, my options would usually be to side with the parent that I had been on good terms with the "longest" at the time or become the common enemy of both.
I have been to private therapy with both parents. When I went with my mom, I just echoed everything I knew she wanted me to say, and vise versa with my dad. Even if I started to trying to slowly say how I truly felt, I'd get cut off with either parent man/womanplaining what *really* happened and that I wasn't recalling the events properly. I knew I'd better correct myself, because for some reason the therapists were almost hypnotized by there smooth talking, and since I do know I have some anger issues they knew they could smooth talk the situation into how I was the bad guy and how I lashed out (And I do regret handling my emotions poorly). If I hadn't changed my story, it'd be the same result, but then I'd come home to The Talk: "Why would you say it like that?" or "With how your attitude is they're gonna put you back into DYFS (CPS) or in a mental hospital and then you'll *really* be sick in the mind."
I've given up at this point. Currently going through another cycle where my dad got extremely angry and I chose my mom this time and now we're in another state again. We've since had multiple falling outs with psuedo apologies from her with the undertone that it's still my fault "I'm sorry for poorly handling how out of control you were" "I'm sorry for trying to train you, I forgot that doesn't work with you"
I just hope I can make it to 18, but even then I almost fear leaving.
I feel like an asshole for the rant under someone else's. I was just trying to say that I agree, therapists, police, friends, family, they can all be easily swayed if the people you're working with are conning enough. I once tried to open up to my grandma because I felt close with her and at first I felt like I finally had someone who had my back and took my side, but even she was swayed by my mother's retelling of the situations. It was tough overhearing the disgust in my grandma's voice.
The only therapist I ever spoke to told me horrible things and that my problems would only end when I started going to church and accepted Jesus, After that I didn't want anything to do with therapists anymore.
As a Christian, that was no therapist and in no way should represent what therapy is all about. I highly encourage you not to give up, as this video highlights is that it's not always the first one that will be the right fit. It's like going to a shoe store and only trying on one pair too small and deciding that all shoes should be avoided.
Yeah, that therapist should just have his license revoked. Go to a better one, keep trying, you'll get the right one eventually
As a trained mental health therapist (and someone who is also a follower of Jesus), whoever that therapist was, I have to be very clear was crossing ethical boundaries. Religious/spiritual concerns may be relevant but should be guided by the client. I'm sorry you had such an adverse first experience- You have every right to find a therapist whom makes you feel seen, valued, heard, and respected.
I'm also a queer individual and toxic faith is very real. I hope you are able to find the support you deserve, sending you healing vibes. ❤
I could imagine that some persons would improve from religion, but obviously not everyone will and that is a decision only each of us can make. The therapist clearly was not very therapeutic.
I had a similar issue with the first therapist I ever had being a Jesus freak, took a long time to trust therapists after that. Also dude tried to give me, a child, homework. Bro I already had enough homework
I remember when I was younger, my sister and I went to the same facility but saw different therapists. Very different problems, my sister has borderline personality disorder and I have an anxiety disorder. My sister had been going for several months by the time I got in.
On my second visit, my therapist told me, "You know, usually [my sister's therapist] gets people like you, and I get people like your sister." Now, maybe she was really good with people with BPD, as someone who doesn't have it, I have no clue. But I do know that she fell asleep in almost every one of my sessions, and after a year of CBT, she suggested I go on medication. I was only 14 at the time, and I might have gone on medication, but the session we were supposed to pose the idea to my mom got cancelled because COVID lockdowns started, and I never went back to that therapist.
The highschool I graduated from had a therapist who worked for the health department and was at the highschool two days a week. I ended up in the counselor's office so often that she put me on the fast track to seeing that therapist.
Incredible guy! I saw him for the next two years of highschool and he helped me a lot. By the end of my senior year we only met once a month and when I graduated I was well enough to leave entirely. I'm not sure what exactly he did, or if there's a name for it, but he explicitly said the first day he saw me, "Okay, CBT didn't work for you, so we're going to do something else."
I am SO curious now on what exactly you did
@@aymcleonidas195 since you asked, I decided to look at a giant list and pick what seems the most like what we did, and I believe that the description of Adlerian therapy fits extremely well to what we did.
My therapist almost drooped me because I missed a lot of sessions. Now therapy is a lot more of a priority in my life. I am a lot better and will be even better in the future. I don't think I ever really wanted to die. I just wanted to fell loved and to connect with people. Now I discovered that part of this disconnect was because of Autism and I am able to deal with it better.
Would you like to share more? I feel like I'm in a similar state and I could learn from your experiences
6:40 My heart kinda sank when it hit me that there are some people that can smell odors related to specific diseases. Perhaps, the therapist was one such person, perhaps.
I was let go by a therapist as a teenager just for treatment resistant depression and anxiety within a year of losing a parent, because I didn’t know how to talk about my feelings/describe how I felt when asked (because I couldn’t connect to my emotions whatsoever.) Was not offered to be referred to anyone else, just told I couldn’t be helped. Several therapists later my mental illness is extremely well managed and I feel happiness every day, even if not every day is happy. But that made me feel so terrible and now with a psychology degree under my belt I can’t fathom it- dangerous and unnecessary, I could obviously be helped, I just needed the right therapist. If anyone is in a similar situation, if even a tiny minuscule fraction of you wants to get better- or just wants to want to get better- you can be helped, no matter how impossible it feels.
Yess 👏
Unfortunately narcissists manipulating therapists is all too true. They are also often very charismatic. I grew up with narcissistic abuse. I routinely got punished for things the narcissist had done. I walked out of our family therapists office, and never went back, as she was relentlessly accusing me of lying because she believed the narcissists. Dr Ramani a well know specialist in narcissism has discussed this as well.
I understand how the therapist would not want kids, I decided to not have kids because of the way I was treated as a child. People have said that I would be a good mom and all that is just soething that would not happen. They just don't know me and don't want to know why..
My current therapist giving up on me is a big fear of mine. I've been dealing with OCD and depression since the beginning of the year, and I've already had a bad experience with one therapist this year. My first therapist focused on a problem that is completely unrelated to what I'm currently dealing with right now. Her refusal to teach me how to deal with my OCD made my mental health incredibly worse. Now, I'm not saying I don't have the issue my first therapist was trying to help me with, I do. But think of it like this, imagine a patient who went to the hospital because they were stabbed. They are bleeding a lot, and need immediate help with that, but they also have a minor toothache. The doctor, instead of trying to help the patient with their stab wound, decides that it's more important to deal with the toothache first, cause if they deal with the toothache, the bleeding will automatically stop and stab wound will magically heal itself. That's basically what happened with my first therapist. My second therapist (which is my current one) is an angel and has been trying really hard to help me, but because of the damage the first therapist caused, I've been having an incredibly hard time following my current therapist's instructions. I often feel like I am beyond help, because I can't bring myself to do anything anymore. I am also on my second psychiatrist and my second change of medication. My first psychiatrist was s***, they misdiagnosed me with bipolar type II, gave me a medication that only made my OCD problem worse, and whenever I talked to them about it, they would only double down on the bipolar diagnosis.
That really sucks. I hope things look up for you soon. I'm glad you have a better therapist. My roommate has OCD. It can be devastating if their meds aren't right.
There's something that happens to some therapists in training where they pick a specialty, and suddenly everyone they see has that disorder. Some get over it. Some don't. You should have reported that terrible therapist.
6 months ago, i officially graduated from therapy after 10 whole years. Don´t give up, you will find your place and your sparkle back when the time is right
I feel like no doctors or therapist take me seriously. Iv seen plenty and they all seem to just believe im a drug addict. Iv never done drugs, i'm just not believed and thats what makes my hopelessness even worse.
What leads them to believe you’re a drug addict?
Honestly and truly.. me being in therapy ALL my life.. it took me years to learn. And countless facilites ive gone too.. and countless mindfulness DBT.. CBT.. lessons to help me realize that i didnt need any of that shit 💯 i just needed to ACTUALLY WANT TO GET HELP!!! i wasted all my time going to place after place.. going thru so many therapists.. just to finally mature and realize that if you want the help youll put in the work in therapy. But if not.. then you wont get better!! thats Why If your therapist gives you assignments. PLEASE for the love of all that is there.. please do them. It will be so helpful in the end♡♡ ily all. And know that you are so valued. Please know that getting help is in NO WAY shameful at all!! Please take all the time you need. Good luck. Im rooting for you. ❤❤
In my experience, therapy is just "go in a room with someone who could be a kindergarten teacher, talk about basically nothing for about an hour, leave."
I was forced into it after my psych ward stay, and lemme tell ya, I'm sure she was a great therapist, but that just... Doesn't work for me.
The comments are heart breaking, I am sorry so many of you have rough sessions or feel mistreated. You can tell them on day one what you are looking for before they do set up. I have family that didn't realize you could just say "Not looking for tools right now, I need someone to talk with who wont jugde me." And it helped them enjoy their sessions.
Side note with story eight: I can smell anger on most people. It's so extreme sometimes that I have to leave the room. The therapist might have been able to smell depression as its a pretty distinct smell. I never thought of it as mold, more like.. how stale water tastes.
I'm not a therapist so take this with a grain of salt, but I have heard that people with certain antisocial personality traits (aka psychopaths and sociopaths) are usually incapable of being helped by therapy because the more they go to therapy, the more they'll learn about how to act "normal". And the more they learn how to act "normal", the more they'll be able to talk their way out of therapy... and then go back to exactly how they were before, but with more knowledge of how to mask it. So not only does therapy not help them, it actually makes them worse.
That's kinda the point in therapy for antisocial people tho. They can't be cured, therapy for them just consists of "this how to act to keep a job and not end up homeless."
@@thepinkestpigglet7529Basil pfp
Sometimes stuff just clicks, for those people included. I don't have exact names right now, but there was this man who worked in Britain with serial killers and was trying to push for more humane prison systems meant for helping offenders get better, he worked with a man who murdered lots. One day, as the man was repeating his part of logically processed empathy, the emotional side kicked in and he cried in front of a crowd. It took lots and lots of those public speeches, but something finally dawned on him that day. If I recall correctly, he may have finally processed the fact that his actions led to missing out on his son's childhood/funeral/something akin. So it works, it's just a lot of work.
hey, I'd just like to say that I really like your channel because you bother to voice the stories instead of just using text to speech. Unless AI has gotten really good without me noticing and your voice isn't real 😂
same, this is why i've come to prefer this channel over other reddit-reader channels. all the others seem to use text-to-speech and it's so much nicer having an actual human read these to me.
@@TheGuindo ya boi needs a bedtime story, what can I say
I was the patient. I tried to game end myself at 16, because my best friend, not only did not love me romantically but also, after i had shown several signs of obsession, ended our friendship. I talked to the therapist for several months, and talked to her about thoughts and behaviors i had been exhibiting recently and throughout our friendship and she gave no response, coping mechanism, or diagnosis. She just let me talk. Nothing else. I talk, she writes. My mom stopped taking me there because she was not helping me. Only years later have i recently, in like the past year or so, have i realized my affection for that friend was not love, but obsession, and upon further speculation of other mannerisms of myself throughout my life have i begun to realize i am highly likely a sociopath. I am now daving up money for a psych eval
This isn't quite the same, but here's my story. As a stay at home mom, I often interacted with neighborhood children. One boy was very manipulative, and I realized I would never be able to reach him on a sincere level.
I think of my own situation where the issue with therapy has been that I don't get anything meaningful out of life. I think society is inherently broken and exploitative. The idea that I need to work so hard in order to live in (and further the cause of) a society I believe to be inherently evil is mentally harrowing and while these therapists love the idea "well you cant be helped only because you choose not to be helped" there does seem to be a practical issue with that stance. No, I don't want to be helped by "be ok with the evil that you perpetrate and then find some much smaller amount of good you can do to tell yourself you're a good person." Therapists can only help with what's inside and your perception of things.
So yeah, there should be a lot more people therapists write off as unhelpable because the issues are external and there is no solution to that other than "change your values and concept of morality"
pretty much, I was told to basically ignore all the ills of society. That You aren’t depressed, you need to learn to live in society. That you opinion on climate change ruining society is right, but there is nothing you can do.
I like to say "In a world of eagles rabbits have to exist. Withouth rabbits it will devolve into depravity."
Or more fancily, this is a society where those with the lack of remorse to step on others to get up higher win and I feel it would too cruel to step on others, therefore I was born to be that stone others step on.
It was so nice to realize that
I lack a social support group and circle. No body can help with that, nobody can just give me genuine human connection
I agree. And from experience of therapist hopping over my life I can say there exists therapists who share in your pessimism and focus instead on trying to allow you to find a semblance of joy within yourself in spite of the world around you
my sister has bpd, and she learns just enough from therapy to turn against everyone around her, diagnosing us with whatever random thing pops into her head in that moment, (like telling me i must have autism because i don't respond to her constant crocodile tears with more sympathy,) while demanding "mindfulness" from us in dealing with her constant lying and stealing.
she then quits therapy after a few sessions, but pretends she's still going, so she can keep "teaching us" all the great lessons she's supposedly learning.
so one day, i finallly called her out on the fact that she clearly hadn't been to a therapist in years. her response? screaming in my face, "well, of course i stopped going! therapy will never work for me, because YOU GUYS aren't the ones getting it!!!!"
I can't imagine a therapist anywhere being able to help someone pathologically incapable of telling the truth about anything, no matter how trivial.
That child who ate glass is definitely extreme af. Sad he can't be saved might become more dangerous.
Okay, but actually? That positive-start was exactly what I needed to hear. I think I was under the impression that, once I heal, I'll never feel sad again, which is just ridiculous and unrealistic. As someone going through a down period in her life, I'm realizing I'm handling it much better than I ever have before. I AM doing better, and now I have the knowledge and tools on how to get through these episodes myself. I don't NEED someone else to do it for me anymore, though I'm still going to therapy. I'm certainly not done healing yet, still got plenty of unresolved trauma in my life. Oof.
Story 11 made me sob for both of them. For that child to be abused like that and for their behavior breaking OP in such an emotional way that they never have kids of their own is truly heartbreaking.
welcome to my won story
mandatory disclaimer it was a psychiatrist not a psychologist
but to keep the story as short as possible: we came in for 1 session, we were late so she only got about 30 minutes to get to know me (my family was also there because of certain reasons im not gonna describe) she gave me any my family some questionnaires to fill out about me. next session she says that im completely mentally fine (which is funny to me as someone with self harm and suicide related thoughts) and that 1: i dont have adhd. which is something ive been diagnosed with when i was six, two: i dont have autism. something whch i would believe if it wasnt for the blatant contradiction of her statements on whcih i will follow up shortly, and finally three: i dont have depression or any sort of mental health issues, i am perfectly healthy in all psychological/mental ways
now what relaly pissed me off is her contradictions, she said i dont have adhd nor autism which struck me as odd considering im diangosed with adhd and still heavily suspecting i am autistic. so i ask her if masking plays a role, considering that i only got 1 quetsionnaire to fill out and less than 30 minutes spent with her (the questionnaire was only filled out at home and like 30 questions most. some online questionnaires are more indepth and still say to seek a medical professional) she told me that masking is no concern and the test is accurate, only for when my dad asks her how its possible i suddenly dont have adhd for her to say "well jen (not real name) had adhd at one point and it cannot be grown out of, however she learned to not show her symptoms" aka masking. and then she flipped back to saying that that single quetsionnaire is 100% accurate, and that im lying and whatnot. she tried briefly addressing my self harm and suicide thoughts but even then it felt shallow and worthless past that point. she ended up basically pushing me out and saying that i dont need any help and wont get any help from them no matter how hard i try to prove anything to them. so i basically got kicked out second session for poking holes in her reasoning.
Sounds kinda like you dodged a therapy bullet. I hope you've found someone more qualified since then.
@@chrisashtonlightell-west1189 I havent. that's kinda the issue. Whilst i agree that i dodged a MAJOR bullet there it doesnt help that getting a second opinion is sorta impossible now since i cant drive myself (yaay blindness) so i have to rely on my parents, who "dont want to deal with this crap again for nothing". the only thing they agreed to drive me to was a regular psychologist, and even that only if im specifically not mentioning anything about my suspicions of autism, so that's the next best thing i can do probably,
i think one of the reasons that the psychiatrist dismissed me so much is due to the fact i came in and immediately said what think i had, that might've threw her off as yknow not a lot of people come in seeking a specific diagnosis (just shows that i did research but meh) so i might get a normal psychologist and wait for them to start piecing shit together themselves, that way i appease my parents in not having told the psychologist anything but i also get the second opinion i wanted
that or i could just wait till im 18 to get a second opinion but even then i dunno if my parents would actually let me or if that's a ruse to calm me down
I believe that I'm the textbook case of someone who is beyond psychological help. This is mainly because I have a mindset that could be described either as "pragmatic" or "lazy" depending on how charitable you feel. The crux of the matter is that I don't believe that the level of improvement in my quality of life that comes from dealing with my mental health issues will outweigh the amount of work I would have to put in to reach that stage, so there's no point in bothering if I'm only going to get diminishing returns.
You sound perfectly healthy and sane.
But that's the thing
If you don't feel up to solving your mental issues, you don't have to
Sure, the best case scenario would be getting 100% better
But a therapist can help you in other ways
For example, if the emotional work is tiresome, is there a way to make it easier for you?
I mean, there was a point in my life where I just wanted to exist, eat, do my job and take care of my cat. Not be healthy, not be happy, not be successful.
And my therapist helped me with that. She didn't push for "fixing" me, bc that's not what I wanted or needed at the time.
Not saying therapy would solve your life, but sometimes it does make it more bearable.
So... you think that your life is better without stressing yourself out trying to fix it? I mean, that's not " beyond psychological help" that's just... normal.
My laptop's headphone jack is broken from a bad drop - but literally only the headphone jack though, the rest of the computer works fine. I don't think my laptop is "beyond mechanical help" because I don't want to spend hours and lots of money pulling it apart to get the chipped bit fixed when I can live perfectly fine with it being a little chipped.
yep@@gokuxsephiroth4505
That just sounds like straight pessimism to me. Do you, but already deciding that you're "beyond help" because getting better doesn't look a certain way in your mind's eye seems a little silly to me.
@8:44, you'd be surprised. Sometimes, the therapists do see it but the ones that don't play along are simply disposed of.
The "heart mate" story is pretty common for borderline personality disorder. Basically bpd people are extreme feelers and can over power a NT person's empathy.
This is basically my father. But... I'm autistic, I pick up on social cues others don't (but of course miss some more obvious ones), so I see right through him. Nobody else does. They all think he's the greatest person in the entire world, and I ... I'll just say I dislike him greatly and leave it.
@@jessicastoker8932 yep. This is why I'm good at costumer service. A Karen can come flying in on their broom and their whaling just goes over my head and I set the tone over powering their attempt to set the empathy tone. Dosent work if they really want a fight, but often times the lack of response shocks them and makes it easier to set the tone. The tricky part is finding the right masking tone. Which can be a bit of guess work on our part.
That is disturbing.
@@autisticwitch7581 yep, it's the double empathy problem. I think what happens is that NT people have a difficult time determining if a felt sense is coming from their subconscious or triggered from their empathy. Or more precisely they don't have the skills to treat them any differently.
@@Glacierlunehmm I never clearly saw it written out like that but yes you're right. We can influence the mood around us so much! Maybe also why I am a good salesperson lol
A therapist, if not mandated, is advised to receive therapy. It's a tough gig. The important part to take from this is understanding. To understand, takes the right line of thinking. You can't just explain to someone what they are doing or going through, you can only help by listening and hope they figure it out themselves. It requires strict boundaries and the building of a relationship. My therapist concerns themselves that I don't get anything from our sessions. I remind them as I remind everyone. If they consistently turn up. They are getting something, even if they don't understand what it may be themselves.
I've been with a couple of therapist and 1 life coach but I didn't continue long with any of them, although I like the conversations and the brainstorming sessions but I dislike the formalities and frankly I realized my psyche is stronger than stopping myself from fixing what I can fix and accepting what I can't.
I went to therapy after my son died of cancer at 12 year old. I didn't really have a lot to say and struggled to see what a therapist could do about it. After 6 months without really saying much, I followed advice to switch therapists. Tried 3 in total and it all felt like a dead end. It's been a crushing experience and the pain excruciating. There's nothing a therapist can say and nothing I can say to alleviate my grief. It's been 3 years but it might as well have been yesterday. Therapy was a waste of time and money.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. The pain you feel must be indescribable.
It's a cruel and awful fact that grief is not an illness to be treated or cured. No therapist can ever take away your pain or even lessen it, nothing ever will, the only path forward is to learn to live around it. It's like an accquired disability in a way - your life can never be the same and every day of your life will be impacted by this. That doesn't have to mean life stops or that there can never be any joy again, but it does mean learning a whole new way to keep breathing.
I have no idea what your support system looks like, but if you haven't already, I'd highly recommend seeking out support groups or peerships with other grieving parents who understand what you're going through. They may not be able to help, but sometimes being able to talk to or even just spend time around people who understand can be the difference between breathing and not.
I don't pretend to have any answers that three therapists or three years of grieving couldn't give you, and if my previous words feel patronising or ignorant feel free to disregard them entirely. I just wanted you to know someone heard you.
I have a friend I’ve been urging to get therapy. He’s one of those types that doesn’t want help though.
He has an ever sprawling victim complex, anything bad that happens is either never his fault or has been perpetrated by some outside force set on making his life miserable.
He tends to be the cause of 90% of his own woes though he knows that but actively ignores it.
I live in the same apartment as him and it pains me to no end seeing him just keep floundering and frustrates me that he doesn’t shoulder any responsibility.
That does sound very frustrating!
@@aymcleonidas195 it is. It won’t last forever since hopefully I’ll be able to get my own house one day but for now I’m stuck here since it is pretty much the cheapest apartment around by a wide margin, it’s owned by his parents and they are absolutely sweet and kind landlords and they have given me the platform to be able to save for a house and pay off my student loans at the same time.
This was... Sobering. I have struggled w server mental health problems since I was little. Bipolar, borderline, dysphoria. I started thinking about suicide at 9 years old. I'm 33 now and have been in and out of hospitals and therapy and it never seems to help. It's scary to think I'm one of those people that therapists give up on. I don't want to be broken but it feels impossible to get better
I hope you're hanging in there and keep fighting!
The idea that you cannot help people make better decisions for themselves is one that I feel a lot it people need to hear. I wasted so much time on so many people who simply didnt care to improve their own lives. They have their own reasonings but I couldnt do anything to actually help them. I dropped one of the people I know who was like this because he was also a bit of a creep, but im considering distancing myself from the other guy who behaves poorly, brags about all the horrible decisions hes making to get a reaction out of me, then doesnt accept any help
Had a therapist let me go because I told her I was running away from home and she assumed I was going to kill my self, so she told my mom (who I was running away from) to take me to the hospital. They discharged me the same day because it was just a misunderstanding, but my therapist said she wasn’t equipped to deal with the situation if it happened again, and she let me go. I think she was mostly embarrassed and knew she fucked up and thought it might ruin our relationship, because she knew damn well it wasn’t going to happen again (it didn’t, ever. I’d also like to mention that at the time my greatest fear was the mental hospital, and she was aware of this.)
I have too many experiences with 'therapists' that either don't take my troubles seriously, endlessly repeating misinformed or unrelated diagnoses, or lines of questioning that unconstructively dredge up trauma. After 30 years I'm tired of it.
The way you spoke to those of us who are still going to therapy almost made me cry. /pos
In my profession, the code of ethics stresses that we are not to take on jobs and clients we aren't qualified for. I'm not a therapist so I don't know what their CoE might say but I imagine it's pretty similar.
You'd be surprised by how good some narcissists are at what they do, and how many therapists do not understand narcissism or have been abused by it before.
okey, i hear you TH-cam, i'll get therapy...
It is sad that there is people who cant be helped because their own personal issue… i wish it was easier
I heave read legitimate therapy books that purport that some patients do not get any better.
That first statement about the therapist “discharging” their patient because they “didn’t need therapy anymore” is totally bunk. Everyone can benefit from regular therapy appointments. Nobody has a perfect life and nobody is perfect. Thus always a need and a benefit to keep a good rapport with a therapist you can count on.
Im a patient- and this was with a psychiatrist not a therapist- but I was let go as a patient because she “did not want my slip-n-slide on her record” I vividly remember those words. I vividly remember this day. I felt so hopeless. This was a child psychiatrist btw I was in middle school.
When i was in middle school, i was seeing a therapist, until she stopped calling to set up further appointments. A couple years later i went back to her place of work, asking for her. They had no record of her working there.
Narcissists can be pretty convincing and beyond saving. They might behave better for some years but will go back to their old ways eventually.
These are mostly mild cases. Was enough time in Closed wards that i saw enough cases of "end of line" to state this.
i went to a therapist about, i believe, 3 or 4 years ago? i had gone once or twice before but i was really on the decline. so i talked to her. her answers? "no, i think it's all in your head" or "you are exaggerating, it's not thaaat bad" etc etc. she dropped me after literally only one session. messed me up so badly, i was near the point of no return. i sought out a different therapist about a year and a half later. he instantly recomended me to a psychiatrist. i am now seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist for my adhd that was overlooked by my last therapist and everyone else in my life and have never been happier.
it's hard to get help when the people that are supposed to help you, bring you down. if any therapist ever treats you like this, please instantly drop them and go find someone else. they are not a good therapist. you are worth of help and you are worth of actually being listened to
I’ve done foster care with my family and that story abt the kid (story 11) terrifies me, because I’ve known some kids, that have lived with us that seemed very close to that themselves. Doing foster care has terrified me out of my wits about kids. There is absolutely nothing that would convince me to have kids after hearing that and combining it with my own experiences.
About narcissist mother - people don't really realize that SHE is the one, who chooses a therapist. What narcissist would ever pick a hard victim without any believable background? Why, then there are tons of therapists, who will tolerate a narciss and their crocodile tears from time to time for a decent payment.
I got kicked out of therapy once I started trying to eat my own fingers during an appointment 👍
Nice
The therapist in Story 13 should seriously never even have been hired in the first place!
She needed to be fired immediately, her liscence revoked, and fired from the actual hospital itself!
When the threat starts on a positive note.
When I was shopping around therapists for CPTSD, I only had one telling me he wouldn't be the right fit, that was a totally new experience. It hurt (abandonment issues anyone?) but the fresh air of honesty felt nice and demanded quite an amount of respect from me for that therapist. That opened my eyes to why there had been some in the past which just didn't work out at all but wouldn't admit it just to keep getting the money, all the while I was thinking I was at fault for doing something wrong or whatever to make the therapy being ineffective or sometimes even have the opposite effect of what its supposed to do.
Currently in therapy once a month! I've had different therapists all throughout my life from a fairly young age so it took me a long time to open up to one for real, there's only two who have ever helped me and it took 19 years for me to be ready to take that first step. Now several years later I was ready to seek therapy again to move me along to the next stage. I am neuro-divergent so even now that my depression is mostly under control I have a lot of other things to change in my life to maintain my happiness. My self worth and learning assertiveness are my current pratices, for the first time in my life I'm able to be objective when I'm angry, I'm able to make a mistake and understand that it is a mistake. That I'm not perfect and that I don't have to criticise myself.
I feel so bad for the kid...
I’ve had to fire a therapist because she literally said I was a lost cause. It’s still scary to find another, even though I know I need it.
I was doing severe self harm and I sew them myself and all. When I showed that to the therapist with no remorse or guilt, she told me I can't be helped but I was I wanted attention not help anyway so....
I had a friend who I dropped because she refused to continue therapy for her depression, saying it “doesn’t work.” I wouldn’t have stopped being her friend only for that reason. The problem was that she used me as a therapist instead. There’s a difference between the occasional rant and constant negative and depressing conversations about her home life or how sad she was about her break up. I always try to encourage people to seek therapy.
I've been to four therapists since I was 13 (I'm almost 18 now). I have severe depression, anxiety, and I found out I was autistic when I was 14. I have a very hard time opening up about my problems (idk if it's a type of trauma response or something, but I don't have any trauma as far as I know unless you count autistic masking as trauma), and I think I have Alexithymia because no matter how hard I try, I can't put into words (and sometimes I don't even understand myself) what my emotions are or how I specifically feel. I will usually feel very overwhelmed, have headaches, or I'll even feel sick.
I've heard therapists I've been to before tell me:
*You should try journaling"* I can't focus or even remember long enough to make it a habit, and it doesn't do anything to relieve my pain or stress
*"Maybe meditation would help"* I had been on a medication for about a year when I was told this, and all it did was make me feel numb and it also made me sick because the dosage kept getting upped when it would stop working
*"Maybe it's just a problem in the family"* I had no problems with my family, no abuse or violence, it's just my mental health is out of whack
*"I don't see anything wrong with you"* It's not gonna be seen outside, unless you see my s/h scars/cuts or you see my eating habits (I eat less than I should in one day, or sometimes too much in one sitting and then I don't eat for the rest of the day)
*"I don't think you want help"* I do, I just can't figure out how to explain my issues or how to get proper help
*"If you really had depression, you'd be crying all over the place right now"* That's not always how depression works, nor is that always the reaction people have. I haven't cried in over 3 months, and if I do it's less than 30 seconds. I mostly feel numb yet overwhelming pain and suffering, but yet I can't cry. I bottle it up until I go numb and my body refuses to open up about it. I even smile or laugh while I talk about it and I feel embarrassed or guilty because it's not the typical reaction or behavior a depressed person would exhibit
Is this normal? I feel like therapists shouldn't act like this... Should I keep looking for a therapist? I keep wanting to give up because nothing is helping. I want to get help and I want it to work, but it feels useless and hopeless and as if I can't be helped anymore. I don't know what to do. I want to give up but at the same time I don't for the sake of my friends and family. What am I supposed to do??
I went to therapy for 10+ years and it didn't help.
Story 11, holy shit
help is different from saving. It´s true. You only can safe yourself. With saying "yes" to help and sticking with it.