This was very insightful. The word of God says "love is patient...kind..." too often people don't know how to work with people who have been through trauma and often get impatient. Sometimes the victim is unkind to themselves. As someone who has been through a chaotic, conflict-ridden childhood & emotional neglect, I still find myself struggling. But I'm trying to come to the place of healing and become more self aware. Thank you again for sharing.
God bless US dealing with the struggle to regain ourselves from the barrage of trauma. People who have ongoing trauma, and I don't see myself as a victim, but I can not control what others do.
This is so me! I have forgiven the people that I have experienced trauma. Forgot show me this video because I have isolated for the past 4 yrs. This year was the worst. I pray I have safe people that I can discuss this with because I do not.
Mark, I was molested by a very close family member as a child & I told myself he somehow missed when he was hugging me & grabbed me somewhere else. My whole life I didn’t think it had any affect on me but that has all changed. Now I can see that it affected me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing this. Will be buying your book for sure.
Of the 18 types of trauma you listed, I went through 15. And I thought I had a normal life. It made things confusing. I really thought it was normal. I didn't understand why I kept experiencing so many failures. I eventually came to the conclusion that it must all be my fault.
Wow, there’s so many of my family members who have been affected by trauma and have developed PTSD. ( non military related) I pray that 2022 is the year of emotional healing for all of us.
A lot of us don’t have ANY safe people with whom we can talk. Can we heal by just discussing our problems with God? I have to think so, since this is where He’s placed so many of us.
💗💗💗thank-you so very much. After being told I need to be talked to with bluntness and straight forwardedness. Can one weave between the 2 ditches. Yes quit screaming get over it. I am doing the best I can. Thank you Mark, you know how to bring it all together.
mom died at age 9, left behind 4 children. dad remarried and they had a child together. she ignored the hell out of us (but not her own child) while my dad worked as a fireman.
I need help I'm a survivor of childhood trauma as a result of molestation. The sad thing is it made me suspicious and I would always ask my girls if anyone touched them, they said no..thank God! The saddest thing was when my son told me as a young adult that he was molested. I have to help him! He's been running what I mean is he was homeless and somehow he would leave the city he was born and raised in and now he's in another city away from me and his siblings sleeping on the street and he says he doesn't want to come back..I have to help him, you think that's sad, he got shot in the leg and this really traumatized him in a different way I love him dearly and have always helped him and thank God I kept praying for his safety and that someone would help him and thank God this young lady looks out for him. I'm doing better but I know I'm not completely healed yet. However my concern is my son's mental health, he's not the same anymore Lord please help my son!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
3:15 - 4:10 Preach, brother! Can't stand when people justify their impatience all in the name of Jesus and trying to motivate change! But I am also someone who tends to fixate on my past and stay in a victim mindset instead of going into creativity mode and that is very destructive. Thank you for this video, because I don't want to be a victim anymore. It's draining and leads to stagnation, which to me, is worse than death.
I've experienced a lot, sleepless nights, isolation. lashing out I've blocked ppl recently but that's not a bad thing because if they don't have my best interest at heart that's fine, but I'm thankful for my relationship with the Lord I have to help my poor son his mind is not the same
I like the approach here, very practical and balanced. I have reflected on abuse and have come to what I feel is an important any insight. I believe that abuse can be perpetrated unthinkingly, without malice, or there can in some instances a more conscious and unfair attack on you, whether as a child or adult. I believe it is important to separate forgiveness and the behaviour. The abusive behaviour is wrong, whether intentional or not. We all deserve love, respect, encouragement and support. I have come to a point where I forgive even those who intentionally hurt me and others. But I can never say that behaviour was right. If I believe THAT, what's to stop me doing this myself, or turning a blind eye to mistreatment. I have come to the point where I feel sorry for the pain I've felt, and the bully or abuser who felt fragile and needed to crush another to feel ok. That is weak and pathetic behaviour, I certainly don't envy such people. How can we all move on to a healing place? I believe we are only responsible for our own healing, others must find that way voluntarily, not all of course will. If we on reflection find that our own behaviour hurt someone else, I believe it is a wonderful gift to apologize sincerely. In some cases this can help the injured person (and grow yourself) but of course it is up to them to accept an apology BUT VERY HEALING if they do!
Ugh 🤦♀️ what if every one of those traumatic things you mentioned apply ..... 59 yrs old working on yet struggling to find joy peace healing and breakthrough... 😢 Thank you for helping others with healing it can be and is very discouraging at times 🙏
Wow, I guess this is the second wound that The LORD wants to heal me from. The first one being sexually abused as a child but I thank Jesus and Journey to heal ministries and also author Crystal Sutherland and her book 7 essential steps to heal. They helped me for FREE. Highly recommend it. At first I was afraid to surrender that wound I was afraid and like Jonah I ran away in the opposite direction for a year until I could not take it anymore. Learn from my mistakes, When Jesus Christ wants to heal your heart ❤️ just Trust Him and do not be afraid.
I had an abusive mother. (Physical, Emotional and Mentally) I remember being afraid of her all the time as a child. My father came around but was very neglectful and selfishly manipulates for personal gain. His mother took on that responsibility. I struggle with the feelings of anger and resentment but I know that I am to honor my parents. I constantly pray for God to help me to truly forgive my parents. I've cut all communication with my mother and I have limited communication with my father. I sometimes feel that I haven't truly forgiven them because it is hard for me to communication with them because it causes me emotional pain. I've given up on trying to have a healthy relationship with them because they are unapologetic re-offenders. At this point, I feel that I want to honor our Father by respecting his will. Neither parent of mine were religious but God has always been a part of my life since I was a child. I always knew that God covered me even before I began truly seeking him. I couldn't explain why but I truly know that I wouldn't have gotten this far in my life without him. I have been blessed to finally have loving and kind people around me (@ work and home) I feel my parents are a reminder of pain and I don't know how to address it.
I'm so sorry for what you went through. I pray God blesses you through your loving and supportive friends. You deserve it. I'm still searching for friends like that. It's been 10 years since my traumatic event. I don't blame my church for not being there for me. My expectations of them were too high. I practice supporting myself. It's tricky to navigate. It's better then trying to rely on the people around me. They are too hard to please.
@@tammyewert1712thank you for sharing also. I don't know if this will help because it is a journey. The friends and people came along but I too didn't always have them. These things changed over a period of time. The great people are a plus and I'm thankful but even with that it's an "internal battle" that's getting better with time but hasn't happened over night. I went through a period when I asked God to soften my heart so that I can recognize how to love the way he created me to. I didn't know how and hadn't been shown to much of it. I too went through a period of having people that were just plain self serving and not really healthy to be around in my close circle. Then I asked him to show me how to recognize healthy people and how healthy relationships should be. "It's still a struggle here and there but I value how much improvement I noticed over time." I still have things to work through. Tammy truly loving God and learning to love ourselves as his children is the perfect start. That alone sometimes changes the people that want to be around us, lol...His word tells us to ask him and I know our Father loves us both and he hears your prayers too. Keep on your journey in the right direction and remember nothing is perfect. As brothers/sisters the Holy Spirit is working in us on different things at different times. I am going to pray that God blesses you with continued healing and the love and support you need also.. I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you
Mark, this video was wonderful! I understand the 4 mindsets that are helpful to healing and I'm definitely working through embracing each of those steps. But what would you recommend to do if there is on-going chronic trauma or events that continue to trigger those negative ways of thinking? How do I keep my mind sound and from relapsing into negative thought patterns?
Faulty wiring when we’d rather forget and move on or said to😢 Now daughter deals with fam wounds Abuse PTSD Neglect Shame Wanting to make others better when we feel unworthy to do for ourselves
It is hard to find, in my story, any safe places where trauma is not present. Become crippled and friends scatter, then the high-conflict family members smell blood and move in to validate their historical denigration with even more covert harm. As deployed, modern ground troops say: "Embrace The Suck"
God bless you! its a year later.. but even sharing yr journey helps others (me in this case) to relate and smile through hard times! God makes us stronger and wiser..
@@womenofgodunited Finding that purpose can be so hard, especially when you're a young person. I'm praying that Isaiah is closer to figuring that out! ❤️🙏🏾
I used to obsess over my purpose but then finally came to the realization that I'm on this Earth to have a relationship with God the father and his son
Having, just before this, read Matt 5, that discussion really is significantly about acceptance, 'this is life how it can be and or is', accept this with this blessing. Thank you for this. 30yrs cptsd with previously unheard of symptoms, needing much more than has been addressed. 🕊️🙏🏼🤍 Helpful. Thanks again.
This was very insightful. The word of God says "love is patient...kind..." too often people don't know how to work with people who have been through trauma and often get impatient. Sometimes the victim is unkind to themselves. As someone who has been through a chaotic, conflict-ridden childhood & emotional neglect, I still find myself struggling. But I'm trying to come to the place of healing and become more self aware. Thank you again for sharing.
God bless US dealing with the struggle to regain ourselves from the barrage of trauma. People who have ongoing trauma, and I don't see myself as a victim, but I can not control what others do.
Wow...this is so good. This just had me in tears and sick to my stomach. I pray for healing in Jesus name.
This is so me! I have forgiven the people that I have experienced trauma. Forgot show me this video because I have isolated for the past 4 yrs. This year was the worst. I pray I have safe people that I can discuss this with because I do not.
This is some seriously insightful stuff! God DOES have a way of bringing stuff to the surface!
Mark, I was molested by a very close family member as a child & I told myself he somehow missed when he was hugging me & grabbed me somewhere else. My whole life I didn’t think it had any affect on me but that has all changed. Now I can see that it affected me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing this. Will be buying your book for sure.
Of the 18 types of trauma you listed, I went through 15. And I thought I had a normal life. It made things confusing. I really thought it was normal. I didn't understand why I kept experiencing so many failures. I eventually came to the conclusion that it must all be my fault.
Thanks for clarifying this as a place to identify but specifically to ID it for the purpose of growing >from< & not staying in..
Gd point!
Wow, there’s so many of my family members who have been affected by trauma and have developed PTSD. ( non military related) I pray that 2022 is the year of emotional healing for all of us.
Amen
A lot of us don’t have ANY safe people with whom we can talk. Can we heal by just discussing our problems with God? I have to think so, since this is where He’s placed so many of us.
Thank you. I need healing big time.
Mark I almost turned the video off because you brought up SO much pain not only in my life but by extension my children. God help is all.
I understand. Trauma brings that out.
💗💗💗thank-you so very much. After being told I need to be talked to with bluntness and straight forwardedness.
Can one weave between the 2 ditches. Yes quit screaming get over it. I am doing the best I can.
Thank you Mark, you know how to bring it all together.
I picked out 8 traumas I’ve experienced from the list. I thought my life was normal. Your compassionate validation makes me want to cry, brother.
mom died at age 9, left behind 4 children. dad remarried and they had a child together. she ignored the hell out of us (but not her own child) while my dad worked as a fireman.
I need help I'm a survivor of childhood trauma as a result of molestation. The sad thing is it made me suspicious and I would always ask my girls if anyone touched them, they said no..thank God! The saddest thing was when my son told me as a young adult that he was molested. I have to help him! He's been running what I mean is he was homeless and somehow he would leave the city he was born and raised in and now he's in another city away from me and his siblings sleeping on the street and he says he doesn't want to come back..I have to help him, you think that's sad, he got shot in the leg and this really traumatized him in a different way I love him dearly and have always helped him and thank God I kept praying for his safety and that someone would help him and thank God this young lady looks out for him. I'm doing better but I know I'm not completely healed yet. However my concern is my son's mental health, he's not the same anymore Lord please help my son!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
3:15 - 4:10 Preach, brother! Can't stand when people justify their impatience all in the name of Jesus and trying to motivate change! But I am also someone who tends to fixate on my past and stay in a victim mindset instead of going into creativity mode and that is very destructive. Thank you for this video, because I don't want to be a victim anymore. It's draining and leads to stagnation, which to me, is worse than death.
I've experienced a lot, sleepless nights, isolation. lashing out I've blocked ppl recently but that's not a bad thing because if they don't have my best interest at heart that's fine, but I'm thankful for my relationship with the Lord I have to help my poor son his mind is not the same
I like the approach here, very practical and balanced.
I have reflected on abuse and have come to what I feel is an important any insight.
I believe that abuse can be perpetrated unthinkingly, without malice, or there can in some instances a more conscious and unfair attack on you, whether as a child or adult.
I believe it is important to separate forgiveness and the behaviour. The abusive behaviour is wrong, whether intentional or not. We all deserve love, respect, encouragement and support.
I have come to a point where I forgive even those who intentionally hurt me and others. But I can never say that behaviour was right. If I believe THAT, what's to stop me doing this myself, or turning a blind eye to mistreatment.
I have come to the point where I feel sorry for the pain I've felt, and the bully or abuser who felt fragile and needed to crush another to feel ok.
That is weak and pathetic behaviour, I certainly don't envy such people. How can we all move on to a healing place?
I believe we are only responsible for our own healing, others must find that way voluntarily, not all of course will.
If we on reflection find that our own behaviour hurt someone else, I believe it is a wonderful gift to apologize sincerely. In some cases this can help the injured person (and grow yourself) but of course it is up to them to accept an apology BUT VERY HEALING if they do!
Speaks volumes to me. Thank you for the good teaching.
So glad to know that!
Right on, Mark, love it! 👍
You said Trauma which occurs from past where a lot i don’t remember😢😅
Well geez.. I've had all of these traumas.
Excellent video
Thank you. I'm so tired today.
This is related to a lot that I’ve been thinking about and talking about in my coaching practice! Thank you so much for speaking on this!
Awesome Helen! Let me know if I can be of further support to your help with others. mark@markdejesus.com
Ugh 🤦♀️ what if every one of those traumatic things you mentioned apply ..... 59 yrs old working on yet struggling to find joy peace healing and breakthrough... 😢 Thank you for helping others with healing it can be and is very discouraging at times 🙏
Hang in there I'm 70 years old and still dealing with this stuff
You are not alone… Bless you❤️
Find loving and soothing self talk meditations to replace any negative self talk or words said to you by others. Has been helping me.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you, De Jesus! I really needed this. I appreciate you so much. God bless you!
Wow, I guess this is the second wound that The LORD wants to heal me from. The first one being sexually abused as a child but I thank Jesus and Journey to heal ministries and also author Crystal Sutherland and her book 7 essential steps to heal. They helped me for FREE. Highly recommend it. At first I was afraid to surrender that wound I was afraid and like Jonah I ran away in the opposite direction for a year until I could not take it anymore. Learn from my mistakes, When Jesus Christ wants to heal your heart ❤️ just Trust Him and do not be afraid.
I had an abusive mother. (Physical, Emotional and Mentally) I remember being afraid of her all the time as a child. My father came around but was very neglectful and selfishly manipulates for personal gain. His mother took on that responsibility. I struggle with the feelings of anger and resentment but I know that I am to honor my parents. I constantly pray for God to help me to truly forgive my parents. I've cut all communication with my mother and I have limited communication with my father. I sometimes feel that I haven't truly forgiven them because it is hard for me to communication with them because it causes me emotional pain. I've given up on trying to have a healthy relationship with them because they are unapologetic re-offenders. At this point, I feel that I want to honor our Father by respecting his will. Neither parent of mine were religious but God has always been a part of my life since I was a child. I always knew that God covered me even before I began truly seeking him. I couldn't explain why but I truly know that I wouldn't have gotten this far in my life without him. I have been blessed to finally have loving and kind people around me (@ work and home) I feel my parents are a reminder of pain and I don't know how to address it.
I'm so sorry for what you went through. I pray God blesses you through your loving and supportive friends. You deserve it. I'm still searching for friends like that. It's been 10 years since my traumatic event. I don't blame my church for not being there for me. My expectations of them were too high. I practice supporting myself. It's tricky to navigate. It's better then trying to rely on the people around me. They are too hard to please.
@@tammyewert1712thank you for sharing also. I don't know if this will help because it is a journey. The friends and people came along but I too didn't always have them. These things changed over a period of time. The great people are a plus and I'm thankful but even with that it's an "internal battle" that's getting better with time but hasn't happened over night. I went through a period when I asked God to soften my heart so that I can recognize how to love the way he created me to. I didn't know how and hadn't been shown to much of it. I too went through a period of having people that were just plain self serving and not really healthy to be around in my close circle. Then I asked him to show me how to recognize healthy people and how healthy relationships should be. "It's still a struggle here and there but I value how much improvement I noticed over time." I still have things to work through. Tammy truly loving God and learning to love ourselves as his children is the perfect start. That alone sometimes changes the people that want to be around us, lol...His word tells us to ask him and I know our Father loves us both and he hears your prayers too. Keep on your journey in the right direction and remember nothing is perfect. As brothers/sisters the Holy Spirit is working in us on different things at different times. I am going to pray that God blesses you with continued healing and the love and support you need also.. I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you
So helpful. Thank you.
Thank you❤️
Very excellent explanation and teachings. 📝
Love ya Mark, thx
Very helpful
This is very good video to show those close to you but really want to help you.
Mark, this video was wonderful! I understand the 4 mindsets that are helpful to healing and I'm definitely working through embracing each of those steps.
But what would you recommend to do if there is on-going chronic trauma or events that continue to trigger those negative ways of thinking? How do I keep my mind sound and from relapsing into negative thought patterns?
Interesting, I've been exposed to all the above. I have shared up most things, but I still keep attracting emotionally absent people.
I have suffered terrible traumatic shock
I can remember pieces of my past
😮
Faulty wiring when we’d rather forget and move on or said to😢
Now daughter deals with fam wounds
Abuse
PTSD
Neglect
Shame
Wanting to make others better when we feel unworthy to do for ourselves
Love your work Mark! Please do yourself a favor and read “An analysis of The Body Keeps the Score” by Michael Scheeringa MD. Eye opener!
Yesssss
I learned this late in life
Although it still comes in with a bang
Now my daughter 😭
I've experienced every single one you've listed. I'm a total wreck. 😫 How do you deal with trauma that is never ending from medical?
I hope you are doing well, brother. Christian counseling can be very helpful.
This victim mindset is literally one of the hardest things to get out of. I’m praying that Christ will show me the way.
Father abuse momma passed
Sister passed and lost children where I hadn’t two year old that I used drugs to cope and she sooo suffered it sickens me
Oh snap😢😢😢😢😢
Receiving
Love from God
Ppl men,especially have hurt me similar to my father
Still
Wowwwwwwwww
Dad was an atheist and me n sister were abused and more
It is hard to find, in my story, any safe places where trauma is not present. Become crippled and friends scatter, then the high-conflict family members smell blood and move in to validate their historical denigration with even more covert harm.
As deployed, modern ground troops say: "Embrace The Suck"
God can turn your wounds into wisdom. You can be of tremendous help and value to others. You are loved!
@@goldenrulebanner2896 thank you : )
I hear you. Sometimes you feel like saying " no thanks, I'll pass on the vulture attack today."
God bless you! its a year later.. but even sharing yr journey helps others (me in this case) to relate and smile through hard times! God makes us stronger and wiser..
@ij_ loved that
God created me and I don’t know why
We all have purpose! Pray and ask God for clarity and direction because you are here for a reason 😇
@@womenofgodunited Finding that purpose can be so hard, especially when you're a young person. I'm praying that Isaiah is closer to figuring that out! ❤️🙏🏾
@@Titanicboah1869 oh yes! Absolutely! I come into agreement with your prayers for Isaiah 🙏🏻❤️
I used to obsess over my purpose but then finally came to the realization that I'm on this Earth to have a relationship with God the father and his son
God made you to be loved and live in that love. And then transfer it to others.
Much Christian pain
Having, just before this, read Matt 5, that discussion really is significantly about acceptance, 'this is life how it can be and or is', accept this with this blessing.
Thank you for this.
30yrs cptsd with previously unheard of symptoms, needing much more than has been addressed. 🕊️🙏🏼🤍
Helpful. Thanks again.