Conned: Love scams and swindles | SBS Insight
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2024
- Falling prey to a con artist can be a humiliating and often expensive exercise. Many cons end in costly court cases, even imprisonment, and that's just for the victims. The perpetrators often appear to be charismatic and charming, but they’re far more likely to be narcissistic risk-takers who revel in power and control. This week's Insight delves into these charismatic and complex characters.
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the minute a man asks for money from me is the beginning of the end for me.
Tragically, most victims of such scams feel so ashamed that they never come forward. 🥺
I met a lovely man and he got his hands on my home. He love bombed me and asked to marry me three times. I was happy as we were. His children when I was in hospital fighting for my life foreclosed on me. My son came to the rescue and bought my home back for me. He died from cancer. He married his ex-wife 36hrs before his death. I am left with questions that will never be answered because of his death which I found out about on face book. Two years down the line, I am rebuilding my life with the support of my son. I now never make a judgement without his say. I am intelligent, gentle and kind. These people prey on us!!!!
I got conned it was the most humiliating thing in the world! I was out of thousands of dollars. He didn’t have a wooden nickel. I never told a single person. Occasionally I will speak of a friend who dated a guy and it turned out that every single thing about him- including his name was a lie. Of course that dear friend was me.
My Mother and I were in Paris My Mum met this Man and he wined and dined her for a week. When it was time for us toleave he gave my Mum a small parcel to Post when we got back to Manchester. I was 20 . On the way to the Airport I asked my Mum what was in the parcel. he said i think its books. As we got to the airport she handed me the Parcel I felt it was squishy [not books] I said Im going to Open it My Mum was agasht No No she said thats Private. I felt something in the back of my neck .Prickling me. I felt cold, We went to the bathroom after we'd checked in. She gave me her handbag and the parcel.To hold When she went into the Toilet I opened it And it was powder I just walked over to the Bin and threw it in . Told my Mother when she came out. She started to Cry. I hustled her out Quickly And we got on the Plane. I shook for weeks as I expected him to turn up at the House looking for it [Must have been A Kilo] He never did. But it could have turned out so badly for my Gullible Mother and Me. I always check my suitcase when I pack and never let it out of my sight. Be alert.
You saved your mother's life, good for you, unbelievable your mother would blindly do that, hope she's smartend up..
Two women in my same professional training group (and book smart) got conned by guys they met online who "fell in love" with them immediately. Both men said they were rich and wanted to get married right away. I told both women they were being conned and they got really angry and dumped me as a friend. One figured it out pretty quick and apologized to me. The other paid for the guy to come to America and he stayed with her in her apartment for two weeks before they had an argument and he slapped her, told her to shut up and that he was in charge of her life now. No, they were not married. Her three brothers came over, worked the guy over and dropped him off at the airport without a ticket. She never apologized but blamed me for being right.
I find it interesting how these scammers frame their experiences. "I found myself in an apartment where the rent was too high" ??? Really? You just found yourself there?
Society blames the victims of these situations. "You were gullible". " You were naive." Even the most well trained psychiatrist can be fooled by a competent con artist.
These people are victims of the worst kind of abuse. Some of them commit suicide.
Some ppl. work on being a better person each day, others work on being more evil than the previous day.
"Lies are like rats." Good to remember...
con artist ''they study you '' every conversation, smile, action is all about preparing themselves to create a plan to scam you.
You never think it could happen to YOU. It could happen to absolutely anyone because the really good scammers are able to search out your weaknesses. Here's an idea: Do a thorough background check on new partners; and never ever give anyone money when they ask for it.
"He was my type"...... you mean...... HE WAS STINKING RICH!
I was also lied to by a friend about having cancer. It really stinks because even if you have suspicions it feels wrong to accuse someone of that. It was very painful to be played you feel like a fool.
Omg, some people are so messed up.
did we date the same guy?
Even if you feel like a fool you have to remember that you are not the fool. You were simply fooled. The liar is always the fool.
I had something similar happen. I was newly divorced after a long-lasted marriage. I met a woman in the condo complex who seemed really nice, cool, fun. We did things together, got to know each other.
A year later, she was going to have her 30th birthday, was really upset about it. She said that she really thought that by the time she was 30 she would be married or married with at least one child.
I had lived in Hawai'i, a few years before the divorce, still had a lot of friends, there. I started telling her about it, how beautiful it was.
She made up her mind that she was going to turn 30, in Hawai'i!
She wanted me to go with her, yet, at that time, so soon after the divorce, I didn't have the money to do it. She asked me, if she paid both our way, with me, paying her back, if she & I could go to Hawai'i to whoop it up, together.
I consented.
We drew up paperwork, together, to show how I was going to pay her back. We both agreed, we both signed.
We did have a great time, her birthday with a few of my friends was a lot of fun!
When we returned home from Hawai'i, I paid her the first 2 installments, we both initialed that I had paid her. Then, I got a buyer for one of my antiques, the buyer paid me, so, in turn, I paid the last of what I owed on the Hawai'i trip. I gave her the cash, asked her to count it to make sure it was all there.
She and I both initialed the contract, she even wrote, in her handwriting, "Paid in Full." I handed her the cash.
2 weeks later, she called me, asking for the rest of the money, I thought she was joking.
The next day, she showed up at my door, asking for the rest of the money. She tried to say that she didn't factor in interest rate or an additional fee for paying her back early. Whatttt????????????????
I told her that if she felt so strongly that I had cheated her, that she should file in small claims court or consult an attorney.
One month later, she phoned me, apologized, told me that her rent had been raised & needed more money to pay it, thought that she could get the money from me.
I didn't feel that I could trust her after that, the friendship was gone.
This was very intriguing and enlightening. I'm also admiring the host for being able to stand in heels for 51 minutes, it must be tiring.
Best comment ever👌
"I'm also admiring the host for being able to stand in heels for 51 minutes, it must be tiring...BLOODY RIGHT you ARE
LOL
It’s beautiful to feel like a princess, but for someone who claims he owns a diamond company, why would you believe you can save him? A person with that kind of financial status, couldn’t he get his business resources to get him out of a jam? This is my thought process.
I respect their coming forward. That can't be an easy thing to do.
I was duped in Kyiv. I fell in love with a lady I met on a marriage agency site. I went to Kyiv and found out later that she was engaged and was making money from our communication. And no, I'm not an ugly disillusioned grandpa at 72 looking for a 23-year-old trophy. I'm below 40 and completely realistic in my search. It shows that anyone from any walk of life can get duped. Sometimes scammers are great at acting non-suspicious.
If you are average looking or less than average and someone very good looking / rich starts hitting on you via the internet, its a scam. Good looking people dont have to find someone online far away, and they certainly don’t pine for someone less good looking. The blonde lady is cute and I would call her situation unique. They are pretty close in looks but he leveraged the nigerian prince side of the scam plus all this crazy s like omg my bodyguard got hurt. That dudes con game was over 9000.
“Our values aligned”. No they didn’t. He made it feel like that.
The main song the con artists sing is “ it will get greater later”
Meaning. I have this temporary problem. I need your help. But later I will pay you back plus plus plus
Walk away
“The way you start is the way you end”
If you watch a con artists life you will see that they self destruct in the later years
This is a fantastic show. I respect the girl who paid back everything. It's a terrible thing she did but it shows an accountability for her actions that majority of scammers wouldn't. I have full confidence she has truly atoned for her actions and won't reoffend. Crime of opportunities are tricky because they make criminals out of everyday people. It's the individuals choice but had they not been offered that choice they would probably have never seeked out criminal activity and would judge others who had. You never know what situation you can end up in when you are desperate and things fall in to place so easily
I respect the girl who paid back everything. It's a terrible thing she did but it shows an accountability for her actions that majority of scammers wouldn't. I have full confidence she has truly atoned for her actions and won't reoffend.exactly
EXACTLY
i wish my scammer also returns my money ! I am 68 , disabled & lonely.
She lied, lied & I naively believed her. She took everything that I had.
It was not even romance. She played Philanthropist. I liked that & trusted her
The woman who was used as a drug mule is brave to come out and tell the world. She certainly paid a big price for being so gullible.
The one guy tho, with his fancy nail polish... lol what an absolute fool he is. He embarrassed himself nationally by blaming his stealing 300k on being gay and “wanting to be fashionable... or something.” Just lol.
And regarding the woman you mentioned - she hilariously respects Mandela. That woman is beyond lost.
So interesting, and helpful, to hear from a range of people telling their experiences of being targeted by fraudsters.
I didn't expect it because I don't have anything worth taking. Army disability and a small apartment. I thought it was only a danger for those with money. I was wrong.
Oh no. May I ask what happened?
Listening to these videos, then reading the comments of others who have been scammed, it shows the evil that is out there. Scammers tried to extort money from me, online. A few guys I dated tried to extort money from me in real life. A few times I filled the gas tank in their car. Even bought groceries for them, never gave cash directly to them.
Admittedly, I did feel sorry for the ones who proved to be scammers later on, never sorry enough to send hundreds in cash & phone cards.
There were a few guys in real life who saw that I was single, no kids, living alone in a nice home, driving. a nice car, thought they would be able to convince me to let them stay with me for "Just a few days". Nope, that was not happening.
I have a good life, good career that I love, happily single & celibate. When I see or hear of someone who is being targeted by a scammer, I MAKE the time to help them see what is really going on. It's very satisfying.
Background checks should become routine, and the norm, in these situations.
If you think someone lying or scamming you download the videos and photos they send you and check the time stamps
If it's too good to be true, it usually is.
My long time friend conned me for 30K to set up a golf membership business but it was a lie. I got a lawyer to sue and she quickly return the money...
Dun give money and dun borrow is the best policy.
Dun believe online relationship and everything looks too good to be truth, dun trust it.
Relationship takes at least 1 year for our to really know someone "reasonably" well. So
moving into a relationship too fast like within a month it's a red flag.
Dun? Which language is this?
you are lucky that you got ur money back! not every one is like that.
These illusions of love, and how we get into them, the deep psychology of that, is described in an online book "Falling for Love" and also one called "The Soulmate Illusion"
And I notice that invariably it is a woman or man who does not have much in the looks department and is maybe as much as 10 years older than the scam artist. Yet they dupe themselves into thinking a younger and more attractive person has fallen in love with them. I have three cats and that is all I need.
I'm Brazilian and here most people fall for the fast amount of money. The love scammers is Very New for us here, but in the end of day is all about money.
Scammers look healthy and rich. They are good listeners, but when they listen, they study you at the same time.They can read people and exactly know whom to go after. The irony is that you gladly give them your money. They always have problems with their credit and debit cards. They know which button to press to get into your mind and heart. For example if you love your daughter, they would tell you that their daughter had an accident and they need to pay immediate medical bills and that their bank cards are froze for different reasons....etc.
Truth is nothing comes easy. We have to be careful of people who are out of nowhere too nice to us. At the end of the day nobody lives us more than we live ourselves.... and fact is most don't love ourselves. Scammers are aware of that and seem to love and respect us unconditionally.
Scamming is an old art . It used to be done to solve immediate survival issues, but nowadays is done consciously with calculations and with grid.
Scamming is a Business Now.
just like drug cartels& organized crime.
It comes with training manuals.
These scammers have mastered human psychology& art of lying.
Western world is lucrative market for scammers.
Often Rich & lonely people fall prey to these monsters.
I would like to thank all who played a part in making this video. Also all the comments below. Although some have never been conned for money, conning goes on everyday since the beginning of mankind, for money and for power. I was conned about seven years ago for money and went through this process. Some were really good to me and others not worth listening too. I haven't really looked back until I came across this video. On the one hand it is sad that it is still going on. Still this video brings an update, which was good for me to watch. The experience taught me a lot to recognise the con artist even in my work and society. Even con artists who have been victims themselves and have lost their way, need to be recognised as early as possible. Anyone can be conned and why, simply because they have a good heart. I still don't know today why I was conned but to me con artist are by nature poor little buggers who can grow into monsters. I am happy for those who changed their ways, just as happy for those who opened up, relieved, free and wiser, just like me.
Empathic people are easy targets for these monsters. They not only can con empathic people, but they despise them because they cannot be open, thoughtful, considerate, trusting and caring toward others, themselves. They like to destroy the jewels they can never possess in empathy. Every child that is of an empathic nature should be taught to protect themselves from a young age. Taught how to spot liars. Taught it's ok to be empathic, but to also be wise. And to never feel bullied, pushed or coerced into something. Taught to protect their hearts. Empathy needs to be managed and protected. Highly sensitve people, esp children, need to be protected and taught to protect themselves, and be who they are, without being classed as stupid, weak or laughed at. They need to be taught how to trust themselves and their judgements in a healthy way.
That was a reality I couldn't understand until I had kids. And teen years can be a challenge. But she did mostly protect herself. It came at a cost. In the pandemic she was hospitalized and lost her ability to regulate her emotion. Be mindful of also teaching coping skills with guilt, fear, and shame.
Good word!
Very constructive comment
Well said!
Women are empathetic not men and therefore they aren’t treated like victims so far all the women got blamed
So righteous and fabulous
What the guy (sorry, I'll add him in when I recall his name - the American, gay) said about..not being victimised, but CHOSEN! so he can help others. What an amazing statement and he really is living that in truth. Power to him:)
Sending love and solidarity to the people here on the receiving end of cons. It's not right that audiences victim blame
When you are in love, you only see the light never the shadows.
If you love your God, some priests may con you too. My mom joined a group of religious group and she parted her hard earn saving by donating to the group. The group of idiots kept telling of finiacial woes to emptied her money. 🤫
it is so sad that some people make a career of scamimg others like that.
My heart goes out to all those who were scammed, ruined, and mistreated.
Sharon Armstrong especially, what a scary time, over two years in Prison in terrifying circumstances.
She is honoured with having a kiwi national treasure play her in the film, The Tender Trap - Rima Te Wiata. I'll definitely be looking for a way to see that movie.
Sad though - "papers"
At the time, there were ways for documents to be sent tuT didn't require personal courier. Electronically for example.
However... we always must be empathetic and factor in the power of the lonely human heart, and how it can pull a veil over our reasoning
oh geez..Anyone who's "done pretty well in diamonds" is a multi millionaire at the very least, and are not going to need to money from someone they barely know. Even if all their cards were destroyed, they could still access money one way or another. She believed this because she wanted it to be true. It's still really sad... but more so because of the victims' actions than the scammers themselves- at least imo
Brilliant programme. Keep going and I hope you will not shy away from giving names. These people who are so ruthless should be made known to others and every case is a cautionary tale.
I’ve been scammed. Not once but twice. First time I was 17 and it happened in Brisbane. The second time I was in Paris and got scammed again and I was in my late 50’s.
No one went to jail. No internet was involved. Just some very good con men.
Being Nice & trusting have a price tag these days !
Very educational and eye opening! I appreciates all these people coming out to share their painful stories.
This would all not happen...if people didn't give unearned trust. Trust doesn't happen over night or a month...it takes a great deal of time to know someone. Therefore it is naivety and wishful thinking....and dreaming of having met "the one"....yes "dreaming" is the word
You are absolutely right, Sir.
your comments are worth a million dollars.
unearned trust can be dangerous.
When it comes to business deals and sales offers we are programmed to recognize, that if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Somehow people need to come to the realization that this same premise must be applied to new relationships. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Trust no one. Trust is earned and that takes time and you still need to keep your guard up when it comes to meeting new people especially if they seem wonderful and perfect!
Agree. Ive noticed a common theme in these scams. The victim is average looking and the con artist is using very attractive pictures. Its unfortunate that sitcoms and movies enforce this idea that someone hot will end up with a very average person. This rarely happens and works out in life.
Amen.
You don’t get it.
Oh my god the bearded guy....he seems like such a good guy & he got so abused....he was unlucky to cross paths with such a psychopath. I hope her little boy is ok
edit: they all seem lovely. Skilled con artists are so dangerous....they can suck in the best of us
best to stay alone or do a research on everything someone tells you
So painful to hear these stories. There are good people in this world and they get down by these vile creatures
They are all over tictoc. Please do not be fooled by them. They try to flatter you. Give you sad stories. Then they ask for small amounts of money. If they need your money they are scammers.
Honesty is real currency.
As is being debt-free
These people are all very smart! But, it happened to them. I am so sorry💕
Great Video. It's excellent to see the testimonials from both sides of the fence. Much respect.
Bottom line is even animals have boundaries
Such an interesting show
But I do want to say, just how STUNNING the host Tumi Kaguchi is, her outfit is perfection on her.
Jennie Mackie had a really fun, specific style, I found that this host has such a regal and elegant essence, and is so well dressed her.
I feel terrible for the victims. Kind souls taken advantage of.
That was unexpectedly gripping & evenhanded.
Unfortunately the pattern is always the same yet people fall for it again and again.
Look up online about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Sharon's story (I read the book) really touched me. It's good to see her looking so well, her family and her are wonderful people x
Yrs but we didnt hear name of book or movie
Why she looks so happy talking about this? I would be devastated
The difference is that my scammer convinced her attorney, convinced the judge, and convinced MY ATTORNEY. The judge went after me, she ended up with my house, my car, my retirement funds, my premarital assets, my passport and my family photographs. She even declared bankruptcy, stiffed her attorney, and lied about everything, so she conned the bankruptcy judge. It goes on and on. 25 years later I am still a suspected violent criminal and coyote, with no convictions. No one has ever believed my story. Hahaha on the civil courts. Useless.
Jesus Christ what happened
Sorry this happened and thanks for warning other young men.
I’d love to hear your story x
Sounds like your wife
All one needs to do is memorize the characteristics of narcissists/sociopaths. They're VERY, VERY common no matter what so called "experts" claim. Most "experts" are sociopaths/narcissists themselves
and they need to learn what love bombarding is. these people mold into the person you want them to be .... so u fall for them and stop using your common sense and ignore the red flags.
The first woman: WHY would she use YOUR credit cards when he is "the King of Diamonds" Seriously WTF 😳 that's crazy..surely you'd be suspicious of him asking for help..
Being lonely is a form of depression
I have never been lonely. I love being alone.
I don't know why I am so gutted about these stories. These stories indeed make one review their lives and be grateful, but also be happy with oneself. Some people come into your life to use you and abuse you with their ill intentions
June 2022 would love to know the outcome of all those people, I hope all is well.
Victim shaming is wrong as well.
Swindlers and con people get away from criminal charges too loosely. Two reports on the fraudulent behaviour must be charged. We all have to report it to the Police. Don't let it go.
This chick story from The Tinder swinder the red flags are there from the get-go and she didn't ask any questions. You know same as if your friend says they've got cancer, but you've seen no signs and then see no more signs but they just say they have it. You have to question things in life of people you know and are close to. It's uncomfortable but if you don't you'll get scammed
I've never been a gullible or over emotional woman and that has kept me from being conned. I'm also very intuitive and i don't give men money,let alone a 'millionair'. I will not prove myself to anybody but myself. If a man is fake,i will know by any means.
The scammed give new meaning to the phrase: "Falling in love." Intuition on holiday.
Love is deaf dumb and blind, in the beginning.
And then you realise, you made a huge mistake.
Its unfortunate there are some really horrid people out there. My heart goes out to those that have been swindled by these ugly self serving people.
If it’s too good to be true…
Lies, depception, intrigue and a little more hint of romance. That's why they are con artist.
I flew first class to Honolulu from Auckland I spent night with a com artist Australian bodybuilder who lived in Auckland unbeknownst when I got to Honolulu my luggage was tampered with a big hole in thankgod whatever they wanted they got it I didn't realise I was carrying something illegal I was a mule I was lucky they kept the luggage with clothes etc in it I could of ended up in a US women's prison I have nothing to do with that bodybuilder I felt betrayed.
Why would he be asking a random girlfriend like that for money you'd have connections to so many people. If your story was true, why didn't she think to say why you asking me for money? I must be your last option. This doesn't make sense. No sympathy. Her story is so basic. She wasn't even having sex with him. Wasn't even coming home at night. He was just sending flowers like omg Can anyone be that stupid clearly? Yes
I been in the setuation, I really confused why I keep on following what ever he/she says what to do, I can't talk to anyone about what happened to me, everyone wheel says am stupid idiot but I keep it until now I can till... until the right time comes...am really tired being alone in this situation...I lost everything except my breath
So many shady people in world, I got played just from buying a gift card off someone, and the card had 0$ on it 😩
This is an eye opener
"I felt CONfident"
I feel so sorry for these people who have been the victim of these elaborate scams, especially the real-life ones.
What stands out to me is these are really genuine lovely people ..hi all love you and you did not deserve this !
5 kilos of documents..that is a lot of papers
That's what I thought too. Wouldn't you check what you were carrying?
As an American, I know Israel will move Heaven and Hell to get their people back, be they hostages or criminals, where we sadly won't.
Great and informative show. Thank you. ✌️ 🇺🇸 🌎
Horrible for these victims. Why would anyone do that? If you are needing money, a side job, hobby.. something legit.
Shit. Things I don't even think of. Love Scams. I live in my own bubble
"Justice won't be served until she's dead." I thought I was a monster for feeling like this about some very famous con artists... but apparently not.
By the way: Read The Confidence Game by Maria Konnikova
The Big Con by David Maurer
and
Confident Women Swindlers by Tori Telfer
people falling prey of their own low self esteem. So sad and gullible.
I have nothing but symphony for all those people who have been taken in and conned by love or romance scams but if everyone was like me who believes Miss right doesn't exist and consequently it would be a waste of time and effort to search for her would never make mistakes like this and be conned especially whenever they start to ask you for money before you have even met them
Symphony? Get the music, Maestro.
My son-in-law mother,, has been conned for the last yr. now, and she has never meet him in person she has given this guy aka(Luis) money, with the the promise to pay her back, its all the same cons that these people have been through and she just doesn't get it, no matter how many people tell her and time after time, when he was expected to fly-in he comes up with every excuse to why he couldn't make it, 2 weeks ago he was supposed to come again he found another reason why he couldn't and it was because of him coming down with monkey pocks, yup, monkey pocks, it just doesn't stop, her family hired a private investigator and showed her that he goes by a different name and it has caused hardships in there family and she just doesn't get it.
end of times with loved ones for all betrayal is a symptom of good and evil picking team members for the event to come
i'm so tired of homosexuality being an excuse for everything. being gay is no excuse for stealing! everyone wants to dress nice and look nice, not just gay people but most don't scam to do it.
So true.. I still suffer the consequences
This was really interesting to watch. Thanks ☺️
Interesting. It is the first time I have heard some of the scammers themselves.
Wow thanks for this .very eye opening .
Why should Sharon have to go to jail for being stupid? She wasn't breaking laws.. she was just naive. How is going to jail going to stop her from being fooled?
Anyway one, who mentioned how much they have or hoping to inherent or their high income, you have to be very careful what his/her intentions are 🤔🤔🤔
does a leopard ever change his/her spots?
It is not the victim's fault. Scammers are just that good at scamming and grifting!
Yeah but there are always things you can do to prevent getting yourself in these situations. Victims need to take some accountability too
Scamming is crime period, law enforcement should see even money is retuned (which was never) SHOULD BE STILL EXECUTED AS CRIME PERIOD.
The victim has got to bear their part in it, do their due diligence, background checks, 100% , absolutely or they'll continue being victims, rarely, very rarely are people completely devoid of ALL responsibility
And they say love conquers all,I guess we have to love with open eyes!
Times have changed. Genuine love has become hard to find, these days