How to Vet and Qualify People in Life/Dating
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- Took this question directly from one of the comments on the video EVERYONE AIN'T GOOD. In order to vet people you must first know your worth!
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“They can’t answer needs you aren’t asking for.”
She is saving lives out here. God bless you!
I do this a lot. Ex people pleaser in training. I just tell people no if I don't want do something
This is why I left the church years ago. I got tired of being manipulated by the folk who lead it and worked there.
I heard this message the day before I learned that someone who I thought was my friend is in fact not my friend. It really hurt me that this person who I thought was loyal and had my back was really self-serving and only out for herself. So after realizing this when I was trying to have a conversation with her about all I was going through at work and in life and she was so dismissive (keep in mind I have always, always been there for her to support her) she didn't care about the hurt I was experiencing and she didn't even pretend to care. So I let her know my requirements for friendship and she has proven not to be a real friend and I want nothing else to do with her. I deserve real friends who are loving and supportive the same way I am. This message helped me so much, thank you❤
It sucks that happened. I hope you find a real friend. ♥️
I had a similar experience with a friend for 25 years. In my head she's my best friend, ride and die. But when I challenge her about our friendship and loyalty. It cause tension and the friendship ruin. I am happy for this video because it helped me to accept it and let it go. Thanks Rebecca!
You explained my way of belief with spirituality vs. Religion. Religion is man made rules, and spirituality is a connection and in being in tune with our Creator, yes and spiritual principles. I have never been relaxed with religion. I am spiritual.
I am guilty of this,realize i don't need a relationship,need to concentrate on my career and money.
I haven’t even watched it yet and I just had to like the video because this is about to be life changing ✨✨✨
Her videos always are. I wish I could have encountered her a lot sooner.
God has just used you to answer something i've been praying about concerning someone. Thank you Jesus
I just started dating and my last relationship was exactly me doing too much...WAY TO MUCH. This video is just what I needed!!!
Im 27 and I’m so happy that finally made it to this point in my life. Hate that I waisted so much time doing it wrong but I’m glad I finally made it through. Still healing from so much now I think my problem is I move too slow and barley let ppl in 😩 I’m aware of it and working on it.
Yaaaaasssssssssss PREACH!!! Aka yes maybe they don't love you enough to meet your request but THAT IS OKAY!! That is why the one person who always has to show up is you. You cannot participate in self betrayal just to please someone else. Don't be the person that let's you down... Do not abandon yourself!!!
I also opted out of religion because it caused me to be stagnant for decades. A loving God whom I still trust is one who is loving and kind! He is freeing! Tfs!
YOU NEED TO NETWORK WIRH THE NAVY AND BE A COUNSELOR. My doctor as put out many referrals for me to see a counselor but I refused after going through two already. If you accept Tricare I would want you to be my counselor. Of all my years I have never heard words like these before. You are a God sent.
Ouch and ouch! When you think you have it together and you realize you still have work to do.
Wow!!! 42 years old and I've never heard this truth about "nice" being a lie. Man, Its logical and I WILL NOT let my babies grow up under this fallacy... Thank you so much.
I had the nice vs kind conversation with myself a while ago. LOL. We are raised to be "nice" at our own detriment. At lot of people are put off by my direct communication style, which is labeled as abrasive or harsh, but I don't know how to coddle folks. 🤷♀️
Wow... I am GUILTYYYY. Thank you for this! 😬☺️ I’m beginning to shift my focus, my beliefs and working on my spiritual growth. Rebecca is absolutely on point, as always 👍🏾😊
Wow. This hit hard.... I’ve been lying about liking someone who I THINK is “right” for me but something inside keeps telling me to let it go. This guy does not make me light inside nor Do I feel any type of authentic connection . I’m going to have an honest conversation with him and cut things off. Your right. Lying to yourself is only hurting myself. Which is why we’ve been on & off for over a year.
Needed this video years ago. Could have saved myself two majorly broken marriage and relationship that changed my life forever, but today is a new day and I am healing today forward. Thank you.
I needes this Auntie, my life at this moment is what I never expected. I'm in a mess with someone that I'm now learning their true colors after 3 yrs. But I must admit that I gave too much. I'm doing my work and I'm learning to forgive myself. Thank you for this❤
Real talk! This was me former nice girl and enabler not setting boundaries with my former beat friend. Cut her off and now getting better healthier friends and set boundaries with my family praise the Lord
I wish there was a LOVE button I would love this 100x
Yes Therapy is Necessary. It is hard but its life changing if you are open to do the work.
Oh I needed to hear this. I used to be very vocal (high self-esteem) but since I've gotten older I guest you can say I became passive aggressive, because I didn't want to get into a possible "heated discussion." Maybe because when I was vocal people used to say I was mean - I guest the truth hurt them. If I want to change, I have to practice being vocal with sugar on time which is hard for me because I'm so black or white.
I Love it, "people only see me through their filters".
You’re calling me out so hard I love it
Whewwww I did NOT expect to be called out in this video ... but I sure needed to hear this! My eyes are getting glossy on the treadmill. Thank you for this message ❤️
Thank you, Rebecca.
I appreciate this. Honestly we’re never taught this. I understand SLOW DOWN.
Don’t make someone fit into your life…
Everything you said is me 🤦🏾♀️
Thank you so much for this powerful word. This is me all day, I have a very good heart, someone's always trying 2 hurt me some kind of way. This really blessed me.
This is soo me ! 🤦🏽♀️ I’m learning to confront people at the time I used to be soo confrontational and people said I was a mad Black women and I listened and stop standing up for myself.
Love this. Everyone can take something away from this. No one is exempt from this convo. Thanks auntie !!!
You just talked about my transformation and I couldn’t be happier.
Got dang....Rebecca didn't miss one thing! This is almost scary!!! Mrs. Pope is definitely walking in her purpose. Luv her💗
I felt that this was a very good, genuine video. I struggle sometimes to listen to Kerry because I feel like there is talk or trying to get something across to "haters" more than pouring in to or focusing on those people that are here and supporting you, believing in you, what you are doing and desiring the knowledge that you are pouring into them. The best revenge is success, so I don't think it's necessary to address your "haters" when you are in the company of those that are supporting you and what you do. Congratulations on your excellent growth and continued success in your business, in self, in love and in marriage. You're doing great things. 🥰
Thank you so much for being there for us "in between"s!! It helps give ourselves permission to explore our relationship with God, and do so at our own pace
The work you two have done has helped me get closer with God, and be open to walking my spiritual path
This hit 🏡 home…thank you Rebecca! I felt like you read me so well. You described everything I have gone through. I want to get off this Merry Go Round. I do have a big heart. I hate conflict. I keep things to myself. And I lash out when I get to my tolerating point. I need to work on my communication….ppl can’t read my mind & we do teach ppl how to treat us.
Rebecca, your truth is just so sobering!) 🙌👏 Love it! 😊🙏
Wauww wauww Wauww, how can you know my whole story😲🥺 but i'm in my healing process now. Thank you jesus 😭🙏 I love this woman!! From the Nederlands🇳🇱❤😘
I’ve been busy with grad classes, and God sends me here to Abundant Life to catchup.
Rebecca, I AM READY FOR YOU BOOK!!! You are so right.. I learned that nice is NOT the same thing as being KIND!
You have been speaking to my soul so much lately... wow
i’m halfway through this and this feels like a personal read 😭 i gotta watch this again and take notes
This is so good 🙏🏼 recovering people pleaser over here, codependency. Thank you for teaching these things!
My goodness felt this down to my core. It’s me! I need to learn how to be firm.
This video freaked me out. Described me so much Rebecca & my Merry Go Round with relationships….😳💕🙏
Wow, this video is so insightful and amazing! Your videos have helped me so much throughout my own journey of self discovery and healing. The difference between being nice and kind is so important to understand and you explained it so well. Someone once told me you can be empathetic and not stupid and this discussion also took me back to that comment lol. I used to want people to like me just because I was "so nice." I used to bend backwards for people and expect them to prefer me because I was that way and then feel upset when it wasn't reciprocated. The funny part is once I stopped being "so nice" and placed some boundaries, a lot of those same people vanished into thin air. I realized I was placing people onto a pedestal that didn't deserve to be on one. It goes back to your point of when you have good self esteem, you're able to vet people and now I am on that path. It changes so much..for the better.
How I appreciate you and this video! I cannot express my gratitude enough for this . Thank you
Wow what a powerful message
Woow Rebecca! I've honestly never heard this perspective before, and I completely relate and agree.
Can’t wait for your book to come out!
The video you posted yesterday, I sent it to a few people who I knew needed it. Thanks again.
You're welcome love
Can someone share the link to this video please?
Excellent work. I cant stop saying oh my God yes! So on point. Doormat to dreamgirl
Whew! This was a WORD
I can’t wait for the book. I can’t wait to work on myself to see the results I want. I want to live abundantly and attract good people.
Had trouble watching this straight through cause I can sometimes be the princess of passive aggressiveness... blessed that I’m aware of my faults, blessed that I’m aware it’s time now and always the time to be more vocal. Thank you Mrs. Pope💕
Such a great message, thank you for this truth.
Rebecca, This is so good!! I must watch it twice and take notes 📝
You're my people. You speak my language
Needed this! Thanks!
Applause and encore you solved a big problem for me thank you
32:20 WOW. That is literally my thought process.
Wowwww this is so real and so me. The kind hearted person. Rebecca you spoke to me. Thank you thank you! I will do better for my sanity 🙏🏾 speak up for myself and be firm and nice
This is all over my toes right now regarding two relationships I’m currently “walking away from” due to resentment for my needs not being met. Wow, thank you🙏🏾
Thank you Mrs. Pope! I listened and before reaching the end of the video said these videos should be courses!
Thanks for these confirmations.
Thank for sharing Rebecca also, I love your hair and your overall look!👌🏾
Wow. This really spoke to and challenged me. I'm going to chew on this and past this along to someone who can also benefit from this message. Thanks Rebecca!
Your hair is really pretty like this!.. xo
Thank you for posting this.
Wow...I needed this video.
This is me. I need to change and Im doing so.
Thank you for sharing Rebecca ❤️
You're welcome
@@RebeccaLynnPope Sis you said it all. I have been following you since last year and I wish I had seen your videos sooner. You and your husband are so full of wisdom. I thank God that the two of you found one another. Please continue to bless us who need help.
Say it, keep it real, Queen Becca. Spirituality is a life style & personal growth in our father Yahweh Jehovah Jesus without judgment but with love of all people ♥ 🙏🏽
Had to share this out to my fellas and my ladies. THIS IS A SERMON. I felt it in my soul. It was real talk and brought up lots of feelings of how I've treated people and been treated (because I allowed it). Sheesh. Where do I sign up?
Thank you, my sister!..💪👊😎
I needed to hear this. Thank You
This was castor oil and an old school spanking with a hug on the end! Got called on my internal carpet to get these lashings, then told to go be brand-new as I walked away whimpering. Loved this much!👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👍🏿
Thank You More!
I identify so much with the person you described...the nice person!! Help!!
Wow 😮👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you for the info
This is so on point. Thanks Rebecca!
I can relate to all of this 😪 it sucks going to watch this video 10x after I get some rest.
I'm ready for the book "Nice for what" .
Lots of good nuggets of truth! Such a good video!
yes ma’am!! I hear this!
💙 your point of view!!!!
Yesss therapy is a wonderful tool!
You right sis you right. Thank you thank you thank you thank you! You are dropping some knowledge for my life when is nice for what dropping? Because I will definitely be signing up for that!
I want a different result from my parents. Absolutely that takes maturity.
I love this ❤
Love you so much! Hope I can be a coach one day😊
This was so for me. I literally just completed a "nice girl rehab" challenge.
I've opted out of religion too but still love God & you & your husband thanks
I just lost a good person being this way. Walled up from the floor to the ceiling 🧱
Everything, all in or all out! Whew change is now!
such a good topic --- around everywhere the world..
Amen sis!
Good-hearted people💙💙💙
Its funny cause meditation , speaking the life you want and visualizing are all principals that are in the Bible. Lol I am Christian and I do all these things. Super religious ppl skip certain scriptures or interpret them wrong and it hurts the church.
I am just careful to include God because so many ppl do those things without including His desires for them and they manifest things that harm them. Heard too many horror stories. Love your content btw. Take the L is one of my faves that has brought so much healing. ❤
Agreed. However, I do think the manifesting that's in the Bible and the manifesting that's currently in the world are different (some stuff I've seen is more akin to conjuring but without magic). A lot of the principles that I've recently been hearing about (including abundance, which is offshoot of prosperity gospel) are Biblically-based but decontextualize the Bible or God altogether. The self is centered, which means that there is so much appeal because they feed the ego. Just what I've noticed.
TEACH GIRL OMG GOTTA LOVE THIS HER!!![999]