I used to think about books in the way of a checklist, things that I need to get to because they are staring at me off my shelves, that is until the different people in my family started passing down their own personal libraries to me. Starting with my great uncle, then my cousin who moved to the US, then my uncle who is now in France. Now I have rare copies from the 60s and 70s of Nietzche, Hegel, Voltaire etc... and works of non fiction I would have never thought to pick up on my own but left a mark. So now, i look at my shelves as things that I will pass down, maybe with little thoughts in the margins spanning over a life time, and I take a step back and enjoy. I fell in love with literature when I was 14. My aunt (she studied french literature) gave me a few books, among which was the stranger by Albert Camus. I devoured it in record time. It is still my favourite book and I have read it twice more since then. I obviously did not understand it as much as i otherwise would have had I read it older, or with a bigger knowledge of literature, but nonetheless it is still my favourite. But more than that, it is the trust from a family member I barely see that I will understand a noble prize book (in french), even at my age and that feeling of trust is priceless. The following year I had read the plague (passed to me from my cousin), fell in love all over again and went on to read more of his books. But more than that, I started to venture. That same year, i dabbled into english literature (i taught myself english so it was a learning curve and a lot of patience), i read works like wuthering heights, jane eyre, macbeth and hamlet, for fun haha (i had those shakespeare copies that are made for students, where the text is on one side and the explanation on the other), and till this day, these are the works that stayed with me the most. I also did the very weird thing of reading jane eyre and the first volume of les miserables at the same time. I really was living a different life 😂. I also discovered André Gide from my great uncle's collection. La symphonie pastorale made me cry. After that, my (other) cousin started getting me to read Richard Dawkins and some modern philosophy and even though he is 11 years older than me, at 16, that trust that I can handle this content, and then asking me what i thought when I finished it, was one of the best feelings that drove this hobby forward. Also another thing, we never had parental supervision on what we read. My parents let us read whatever we want, even if it was adult content and even if it went against their religious beliefs (and yes they knew of it). My favourite thing from my early teens is when I was reading a book recommended by my family and it was at the beginning of my reading journey so I was slower. I was putting the book on the coffee table while I read through it, and even though everyone in my family had already read it, they read it again with me simply because it was on the coffee table in the living room. My brother bought me my first kindle when I was 16. He had his friend order it in the US and bring it here with him. Then as time went on, and i fell out of reading, i went back initially because if anything, its effects on the nervous system (i have chronic migraines) so i thought of it as therapy. Something that serves me, not I it. Then i started my own literature club (we are reading monte cristo now) and we only read big intimidating literature books (because I read Gogol's dead souls and was pissed at the world for not having someone to discuss it with), and now we are like family. We have inside jokes, mostly over the Brothers Karamazov, which we finished so fast simply because of the ambiance of reading it together (and the memes we made 😂). The point of all this ramble is that falling in love with books and literature is an active decision we make every day. And we don't make it for ourselves, but we make it for everyone around us. I don't own my books, and booktube definitely acts like my books own me. I feel we own the books as a community just as my family had made me feel over the years. I treated it as a transactional relationship until I've seen the copies from the 70s, yellow pages, with little notes in the margins in faded pencil. Your tone is pretty emotional in this video, I appreciated seeing it. I can see how much this means to you.
I sometimes feel I simply cannot read if I don't have a pen. I miss the days of just reading like a kid. That is reading not for some vain attempt at becoming smarter, not to clear the backlog, not thinking about how I will think about and recall this information in some years, but just simply opening a book enjoying the words and the scenes they create in my head, closing the book and moving on.
Yes, rediscovering fascination. It is easy to become jaded with the influx of stimuli all around us. I hope you and I find those moments again of pure, unfiltered passion and curiosity.
A great point. I've done similar exercises with Elizabethan poetry sometimes: it is replete with rather unoriginal themes such as death of friends, pain caused by flighty mistresses and despair, as well as run-of-the-mill metaphors about flowers as symbols of evanescence et hoc. However, the purity (and occasional novelty) of the language and the comfortable, crystal-clear metres keep me interested in looking out for more of the said poetry, and thus I've tried to re-establish the power of these age-old figures of speech and themes. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. Sometimes I manage to remind myself that regardless of the fact that I might feel justified in regarding a metaphor as a cliche, the poet might/must have felt genuine sorrow over the passing of his friend/lover/brother. Sometimes I might stop and actually take up a mental image of a flower, any flower, and reinstate its fragility, its gay colours and how it indeed has meaningful relations to the brief flicker of human existence on Earth. Or sometimes my mind simply cannot stomach another fouled-up Renaissance fling of a codpieced nincompoop and I move on to other things.
These are really important things to think through. I have had similar thoughts as I have been reading lately... "How will I review this? How do I capture this thought or this moment?" instead of just taking in the book. And the last two months I have read a LOT. This month it has felt quite overwhelming. My name came up for so many books at the library at the same time and I was feeling so much pressure to read them all. And it felt like a chore or like an item I had to check off my list. I was talking to a friend this week and suddenly realized.... I don't have to read all these books from the library this month. It's ok to return some and check them out again later. I felt kind of silly for a minute, because I felt like I should have known that the whole time. But it took a while for me to be able to let go of the immediacy that I was feeling for getting it all done. Anyway, it was a good wake up call because I don't want reading to be a chore. I want to be able to soak in the words and pause at the sentences that delight me. My plan is to intentionally slow down my reading intake over the summer.
This is something I have to re-realize again and again: this is for me. This is not an outside obligation. It really does feel silly from time to time, noticing how much we can impose upon ourselves arbitrarily. I'm glad you're remembering that fact. Life can be so much calmer without all our self-inflicted rattling.
A powerful reminder to those of us caught up in achieving quantity over quality, in keeping up with the booktube joneses. let's all make our next read a purposeful one...cheers!
Great thoughts. So many approach reading like it's a dreaded, menial thing. Sure, some books require a certain level of focus and effort, but it only pays off it the end. Once I got past the initial angst of taking on bigger books, I suddenly opened up a whole world of possibilities and now consider it leisurely.
Yes, especially when it comes to large books, the key is to have reading be a normal part of your life, a routine, and then the heft of pages is merely more to look forward to. Thanks for stopping by!
Do you remember the first book you read on your own, as a kid? Memories of my thoroughly self-sufficient success still bring me joy! Your comments remind me to validate that sort of judgement-free reading experience 🙂
My mother has an old video of me reading my first book on my own: Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel. I think that element of playful sound in language has stuck in my ear ever since. We often discover ourselves in reading.
Interesting thoughts for sure. My general approach is that the vast majority of books I read are more or less on a whim such as "I want to know more about beetles and all their variety" or "I should learn more about all the deforestation going on." (Probably half of my reading is nature or environmental lol). When I read these books its mostly just to learn about he topic for myself and curiosity or to start or use in conversations with others so I don't really feel a pressure per se. Then there are some books that I've started tabbing, annotating, or taking notes actively but I plan for that ahead of time sort of and treat it almost as a different activity than the majority of my reading. Separating them in a way I feel helps me never really burning out of my enjoyment reading and whatnot. Having many different hobbies also helps a lot in this regard as it brings variety into day to day life. Great video!
Your method shows: one of the most distinctive qualities of your videos is the sense of personality and genuine curiosity you bring. It is fitting that your whims guide you most.
I keep it fresh through mixing and matching, not sticking with one theme or author or style for very long, which then gives me the ability to (perhaps silently) compare and rank these books in my mind. If I've read a more complex novel or collection of stories - Raymond Carver, for example - I might follow up with a Simenon or something similarly light. But I can still be surprised. Finished Zola's NANA last week, after not having read any Zola in ages. Surprising how for want of a better word "pornographic" this novel was compared to say EARTH. Same with watching films - after some Ozu or lord help me Bergman, I'll want a George Formby piece of fluff. BTW, I stumbled on the four volume Sandburg LINCOLN: THE WAR YEARS in hardcover at a shop the other day.
Yes, I've been mixing and matching more and more lately, and allowing myself to embrace surprise and strangeness. That feels essential to engagement: letting go, discovering. I also recently found a full set of Sandburg's Lincoln (as if my local bookstore watched my biography vid and knew exactly what I wanted)!
I resonate very much with the angst of "am I reading this text deeply enough" and the hyperawareness of time constraints leading me to an insatiable concern about 'wasting my time'. I imagine I've been inculcated or culturally shaped to assume a particular thing or activity only has value if it elicits some mesurable or financial gain of sorts - paired with a societal push for productivity. Spawning from this are the questions: how do I choose the 'right books', should all my reading be done rigorously or with some type of 'end' associated with the means, and many of the same questions you raised. At the same time, I find that TH-cam/the expectations I place upon myself/the desire to review or create content derived from the book places necessary pressure upon me to read deeper. Go the extra mile. Do a bit more research or take a few more notes. It provides a sense of accountability or an arbitrary reason for me to read with greater intention that leads me to extract more from a work than I would have done otherwise. I imagine you've experienced a bit of this through your channel as well So I wholeheartedly agree with your message and I think you eloquently and accurately described the problem with solely reading with purpose. It's a great reminder particularly to a newer reader like me who feels 'behind' or feel as if I have to rush to read all of the classics to catch up to some vague, elusive idea of being well-read.
Thank you for reflecting on this topic with me. The uncut version of this vid was slightly more balanced, including a somewhat lengthy section on the merits of focus, but I found it distracted and broke off from the momentum of the point. I'll probably do a separate video eventually on the value of focus. I think it is essential to be able to focus and to study, to register the intention of the work and to comprehend the layers beneath the surface. Especially when starting out in literature. Focus is a vital skill to cultivate. Partially, this video is a reminder of the other side of focus. We sometimes become so good at being efficient we forget to wander. You pinpoint it perfectly: we have been "inculcated or culturally shaped to assume a particular thing or activity only has value if it elicits some measurable or financial gain of sorts-paired with a societal push for productivity." We desire answers. Yet answers seem the end of thought. I fear false-certainty in those cases. Ultimately, I kind of think this video is a reminder to myself that reading is not a job. One risk in making a BookTube channel is that reading becomes a job, or at least an obligation. I am sensitive to becoming "trapped by my audience" in aiming to please and only reading for their sake. I'm sure you experience this yourself, the pressure to read by the standards of others. I partially want to remind myself-and other BookTubers-that we have to trust our passions and trust the audience to follow. I've so far been incredibly lucky in this whole BookTube thing. You're watching me struggle with staying true to myself amidst my desire to also care about others. I find myself relieved again and again that the more honest and esoteric I get, the more viewers and thoughtful commenters seem to follow. It is such a gift.
Having a booktube channel has also greatly affected my reading, mostly in an extremely positive way. ♥️ You're spot on about how difficult it is to try and figure out what to do with the little spare time we have. There are so many things screaming for our attention nowadays, and the digital world is stealing most of people's reading time. Great video. ♥️
Well said, this is an important issue for me and I appreciate your thoughts. Terra Nostra! Such an incredible first sentence, and the rest of the book is of the same vein.
If not for you I likely wouldn't have grabbed Terra Nostra off my shelf in the first place (and I just ordered The Death of Artemio Cruz by the same author).
@@ToReadersItMayConcern I've done a fair amount of thinking and writing on this topic since watching this video and it has led to a few changes in my life, small yet practical (regarding Goodreads and my personal reading tracking habits). While I had been wrestling with the issue for a while, your message hit home the urgency of needing to return to simplicity. Phrases/words that I found apt here were "sense of obligation", "accumulation of requirements", "checklist", "books as obstacles", and "efficiency of consumption". These are not how things should be. Thank you. p.s. You may know this already but I've been doing some research and have learned that Artemio Cruz is a fairly standard modernist novel, as opposed to Terra Nostra, one of the "paradigmatic texts of postmodernist writing". Having only read TN, I had assumed that C. Fuentes was solely of the postmodern affiliation.
@@TraumaticTomes My own video has affected me similarly: I've slowed down and become more critical of certain habits and ways of thinking regarding efficiency and progress. We live within a set of norms of how best to accomplish life, and yet so many of those norms are work-oriented and productive rather than always meaningful and contemplative. I want more contemplation in my life. I'm grateful that my thoughts spoke to you and that you've carried them in your own way. I will say, from the bit of Artemio Cruz I've read so far, though it is not postmodern it is certainly beautifully written. Fuentes is a master of prose style.
Much of my reading gets drowned under the syrup of "how will I talk about this?", and it takes me a fair amount of self-discipline to say "NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT!" If I come up with an angle for discussing a given book, great! If not, also great! Because I have no shortage of things I've already tagged to discuss. A line came to me the other day: "Read like you're talking a walk through the park, not going to the grocery store." Don't give yourself too much of an agenda to accomplish. Just go see what happens.
What a great and intelligent discussion, thank you! You propose such a valuable ethos to approach, read and contemplate literature. That meeting of minds through the page and difference found there that you describe is what I find so continuously exciting.
Fantastic seeing you here (love your channel)! Books are precious: in our discovery of difference we also find recognition, somehow, in the mind of a stranger. That is forever sublime.
GREAT vid , thanks to you, I found a copy of Ideas and Thinkers by Chris Rohmann, and just for leisure I open the book randomly read the Ideas and ponder on it and writing my own soliloquies on it. ... now even more encouraged by this vid 👏🏾💫
That sounds like such a wonderful thing to do! Our time is our time and we should cherish it (we won't get that time again). Writing while reading is perhaps one of the best ways to write, a collaboration between yourself and some other like you, some other seeking words.
Um, I know what you mean (reading for 'love alone') but reading within a critical culture where there is engagement & considered response can also be generous & connective. I've worked full-time as a book critic for the past decade, & it does sometimes grind joy (that is true) but when you get the 'right' response to a new book, it can be a joyous marriage. Really enjoy thinking about your provocations.
Excellent point. I'd say there's space in one's reading for critical attention and a space for pure passion. This video is partly a reminder to myself to remember the latter (though the former still occurs).
I (and, based on the comments, a lot of other booktubers) resonate really strongly with this. In particular, those of us who hold to a strict upload schedule. For me, since I came to literature very late in life (only becoming a 'serious' reader maybe four years ago), the consistent upload schedule has actually worked as a positive, giving me the drive to make up for time spent not reading. There are certainly times when the stress of the upcoming upload date weighs on my thoughts, but a rule I've always maintained is that, at the end of a book, I make a snap Yes/No decision on whether I'll make a video about it - it really sucks when I know in my gut that the decision is no, especially when the books are good and took a lot of time to read, but I'm glad that I've gotten into that habit of delaying the decision of whether or not the book becomes a video until after it's read. I've also tried to say to myself "sure, it's a weekly video for now, but as soon as it's too much, just dial it back." I've been lucky that I haven't really needed to restrict the uploads yet, but I know the day will eventually come when the desire to read completely without extrinsic motivations will outweigh the want for a channel.
Thank you for so thoroughly explaining your process. I realize that we've found ourselves in a bit of a luxury problem, having viewers and attempting to offer those viewers something of worth. I've found myself stumbling into a similar decision-process as you: I've finished about seven books in the last month, and except for a couple I'm keeping my thoughts to myself. I think I am still figuring out what my channel is, the sort of worth I offer in these videos. The most vital requirement for myself, though, is that the channel doesn't hamper my love of reading. I'm not sure if you feel the same pressure, but the attention sometimes makes me feel like I need to "please." That feels odd to me, since that isn't why I started the channel, but I certainly have noticed the feeling. One motivation for this video is to remind myself and maybe others that disappointing ourselves matters more than disappointing others. As soon as I caught myself reading too quickly, I knew I needed that reminder.
This is what holds me back from opening up my own Booktube channel. I don't want to feel rushed or pressured when I'm reading. Like you said, digesting a book should be a slow process, and you should give yourself time to digest once you've finished. I've seen other Booktubers stop posting for months on end, only to come back with the follow-up video saying they needed a mental break from TH-cam because of the pressure.
It is surprising how much pressure builds once viewers expect something of you. That said, I seem to be stumbling onto my own remedy: there are at least seven books I've read in the past two months that I haven't discussed yet on this channel. I've allowed myself not to have reviews be the center of my output. That is deeply freeing. Of course, any one of these can be made into a review later on, but I don't feel any obligation to do that, and so my reading gets to be strictly mine. One challenge this brings is coming up with other topics for videos, but so far that's turned into a creative opportunity for me and has worked out nicely. If you ever decide to make a BookTube channel of your own, please let me know. I will gladly share it!
@@ToReadersItMayConcern That's great! I look forward to more of your content. And if I ever do open up a channel, I will let you know! Thanks for your support.
Once again I'm resonating so much with what you're saying. I've noticed that being a book reviewer affects my reading in two ways. It helps me approach books with a more sustained sense of attentiveness and desire to understand the material well. Like you were saying, I really want to be able to say something insightful about the books. If somebody takes the time to click my video, I really want to try to make sure they aren't wasting their time. Also, I noticed it affects my choice of reading material. Before youtube, I read more religious criticism, but now I'm afraid of alienating people so I shy away from those kinds of books. As a result, I'm falling behind in that area of study.
When I started this channel, I made a promise to myself not to allow it to change my reading habits. This video is kind of a reminder to myself about that promise. I have to trust that people will be open to my tastes, even if my tastes lean at times toward the obscure or obtuse.
@@ToReadersItMayConcern You really reminded me that I love those kinds of books, and it's been too long since I read some of them. So thank you. I think I'll start one very soon!
Such an important topic in this time of rabid pressure to consume consume consume! I love that you consciously slowed down to rediscover your original love of total imaginative immersion. I try to make a practice of rereading, based on a similar philosophy. When I feel myself resisting the practice of rereading familiar texts I know that I’m getting too caught up in grasping for the bright and unreachable horizon of The Next New Book. While curiosity is the lifeblood of the bookish life, it risks spilling into acquisitiveness (for me in any case). Rereading is the panacea that reminds me of the original love of reading for the pleasure and insight which has nothing to do with stats, goals and bucket lists (nothing wrong with these in and of themselves-only when they supersede the true love of literature!) I wonder which books you have found most richly rewarding as slow reads? Which books do you return to most often? Thank you for another excellent video!
Rereading is essential. I feel you might tire of my mention of her name, but she truly is my favorite, and that is Virginia Woolf, in particular her work The Waves. I just read it again a few days ago. The character Bernard's thoughts speak to me deeply. I also love to reread bits of works, bits of Only Revolutions by Danielewski, bits of Nabokov, bits of philosophy, too,-the existentialists could write so poignantly at times-but also heavier philosophy that hits for intellectual reasons: Parfit, Kant, Popper-their rigidity is somehow sublime if I let myself follow through from point to point. Poetry is forever rereadable. I recently starting caring more attentively to Laura Riding. Her poetry is seemingly stiff, and yet like philosophy I find myself immersed in the fullness of thought and honesty of questioning. I guess I'm always seeking honesty. That may be all I care about, found as much in poetry as philosophy as science as fiction.
Cormac McCarthy is the author I return to constantly when I need to recharge. It might be that what I just read was difficult, or that it challenged a belief I might have held dear. Sometimes it's just that what I read was so beautiful that it broke my heart and I needed time to reflect on it. As an introvert something in McCarthy's writing helps me direct my gaze inward, perhaps it's the space he leaves in his prose, hard to quantify the intangibles sometimes. Perhaps it's just where I direct my internal eye when I immerse myself in his familiar words.Being an introvert is definitely a reading superpower!
You remind me that I haven't read Cormac McCarthy in many years. I, too, have found his works charging and meditative in their beauty (despite, or maybe directly as a result of the contrast to, the harshness of their subject matter). Thank you for reminding me to return to his works. Perhaps I could try his final double-volume novel. A writer who similarly elicits that introvert-spark for me is Virginia Woolf, especially in her work The Waves (I hope to make a video devoted to Virginia Woolf someday). If you have not read her yet, I highly recommend you try The Waves (for sheer beauty), Orlando (for sheer flow), or Mrs. Dalloway (for sheer resonance long after reading). The Waves is perhaps the most perfect novel I have ever read (and I have read a lot of novels); yet it requires much adaptation from you, in terms of adapting to the writer's pace and orientation. Being an introvert, though, should serve as an advantage for you in this regard (it was for me).
I just finished my first read through of The Passenger and Stella Maris, both were excellent. My personal favourite is Suttree, there's just so much desperation and futility in that work, I think about that character constantly as I navigate my own life. It's dark but always hopeful. I have a copy of The Waves so that will be next after I finish The philosophy of Religion text I am working through at the moment. Another great video , thank you again.
I had hoped what I felt would resonate with others. I'm glad I reached you at the best time. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves why we're reading in the first place.
I will someday, but I have limited time and there are a lot of other video ideas I want to focus on first. One challenge is I have over 1,000 books, so a complete shelf tour would take a long, long time.
![[FULL EP.73] เปิดบ้าน 70 ล้าน "แป้ง Zbing" ยกมาทั้งญี่ปุ่น l เคหสถานบานปลาย l One Playground](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YBnJhTt07Pg/mqdefault.jpg)
I used to think about books in the way of a checklist, things that I need to get to because they are staring at me off my shelves, that is until the different people in my family started passing down their own personal libraries to me. Starting with my great uncle, then my cousin who moved to the US, then my uncle who is now in France. Now I have rare copies from the 60s and 70s of Nietzche, Hegel, Voltaire etc... and works of non fiction I would have never thought to pick up on my own but left a mark. So now, i look at my shelves as things that I will pass down, maybe with little thoughts in the margins spanning over a life time, and I take a step back and enjoy.
I fell in love with literature when I was 14. My aunt (she studied french literature) gave me a few books, among which was the stranger by Albert Camus. I devoured it in record time. It is still my favourite book and I have read it twice more since then. I obviously did not understand it as much as i otherwise would have had I read it older, or with a bigger knowledge of literature, but nonetheless it is still my favourite. But more than that, it is the trust from a family member I barely see that I will understand a noble prize book (in french), even at my age and that feeling of trust is priceless. The following year I had read the plague (passed to me from my cousin), fell in love all over again and went on to read more of his books. But more than that, I started to venture. That same year, i dabbled into english literature (i taught myself english so it was a learning curve and a lot of patience), i read works like wuthering heights, jane eyre, macbeth and hamlet, for fun haha (i had those shakespeare copies that are made for students, where the text is on one side and the explanation on the other), and till this day, these are the works that stayed with me the most. I also did the very weird thing of reading jane eyre and the first volume of les miserables at the same time. I really was living a different life 😂. I also discovered André Gide from my great uncle's collection. La symphonie pastorale made me cry. After that, my (other) cousin started getting me to read Richard Dawkins and some modern philosophy and even though he is 11 years older than me, at 16, that trust that I can handle this content, and then asking me what i thought when I finished it, was one of the best feelings that drove this hobby forward. Also another thing, we never had parental supervision on what we read. My parents let us read whatever we want, even if it was adult content and even if it went against their religious beliefs (and yes they knew of it). My favourite thing from my early teens is when I was reading a book recommended by my family and it was at the beginning of my reading journey so I was slower. I was putting the book on the coffee table while I read through it, and even though everyone in my family had already read it, they read it again with me simply because it was on the coffee table in the living room.
My brother bought me my first kindle when I was 16. He had his friend order it in the US and bring it here with him.
Then as time went on, and i fell out of reading, i went back initially because if anything, its effects on the nervous system (i have chronic migraines) so i thought of it as therapy. Something that serves me, not I it.
Then i started my own literature club (we are reading monte cristo now) and we only read big intimidating literature books (because I read Gogol's dead souls and was pissed at the world for not having someone to discuss it with), and now we are like family. We have inside jokes, mostly over the Brothers Karamazov, which we finished so fast simply because of the ambiance of reading it together (and the memes we made 😂).
The point of all this ramble is that falling in love with books and literature is an active decision we make every day. And we don't make it for ourselves, but we make it for everyone around us. I don't own my books, and booktube definitely acts like my books own me. I feel we own the books as a community just as my family had made me feel over the years. I treated it as a transactional relationship until I've seen the copies from the 70s, yellow pages, with little notes in the margins in faded pencil.
Your tone is pretty emotional in this video, I appreciated seeing it. I can see how much this means to you.
I sometimes feel I simply cannot read if I don't have a pen. I miss the days of just reading like a kid. That is reading not for some vain attempt at becoming smarter, not to clear the backlog, not thinking about how I will think about and recall this information in some years, but just simply opening a book enjoying the words and the scenes they create in my head, closing the book and moving on.
Yes, rediscovering fascination. It is easy to become jaded with the influx of stimuli all around us. I hope you and I find those moments again of pure, unfiltered passion and curiosity.
You can still do it.
A great point. I've done similar exercises with Elizabethan poetry sometimes: it is replete with rather unoriginal themes such as death of friends, pain caused by flighty mistresses and despair, as well as run-of-the-mill metaphors about flowers as symbols of evanescence et hoc. However, the purity (and occasional novelty) of the language and the comfortable, crystal-clear metres keep me interested in looking out for more of the said poetry, and thus I've tried to re-establish the power of these age-old figures of speech and themes.
Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. Sometimes I manage to remind myself that regardless of the fact that I might feel justified in regarding a metaphor as a cliche, the poet might/must have felt genuine sorrow over the passing of his friend/lover/brother. Sometimes I might stop and actually take up a mental image of a flower, any flower, and reinstate its fragility, its gay colours and how it indeed has meaningful relations to the brief flicker of human existence on Earth.
Or sometimes my mind simply cannot stomach another fouled-up Renaissance fling of a codpieced nincompoop and I move on to other things.
These are really important things to think through. I have had similar thoughts as I have been reading lately... "How will I review this? How do I capture this thought or this moment?" instead of just taking in the book. And the last two months I have read a LOT. This month it has felt quite overwhelming. My name came up for so many books at the library at the same time and I was feeling so much pressure to read them all. And it felt like a chore or like an item I had to check off my list. I was talking to a friend this week and suddenly realized.... I don't have to read all these books from the library this month. It's ok to return some and check them out again later. I felt kind of silly for a minute, because I felt like I should have known that the whole time. But it took a while for me to be able to let go of the immediacy that I was feeling for getting it all done. Anyway, it was a good wake up call because I don't want reading to be a chore. I want to be able to soak in the words and pause at the sentences that delight me. My plan is to intentionally slow down my reading intake over the summer.
This is something I have to re-realize again and again: this is for me. This is not an outside obligation. It really does feel silly from time to time, noticing how much we can impose upon ourselves arbitrarily. I'm glad you're remembering that fact. Life can be so much calmer without all our self-inflicted rattling.
That's good advice for life, not just for reading books. The past and future are fantastic places, but don't let them obscure the present.
Well said. This advice reaches far beyond reading.
A powerful reminder to those of us caught up in achieving quantity over quality, in keeping up with the booktube joneses. let's all make our next read a purposeful one...cheers!
Yes! A reminder for myself as much as others.
Great thoughts. So many approach reading like it's a dreaded, menial thing. Sure, some books require a certain level of focus and effort, but it only pays off it the end. Once I got past the initial angst of taking on bigger books, I suddenly opened up a whole world of possibilities and now consider it leisurely.
Yes, especially when it comes to large books, the key is to have reading be a normal part of your life, a routine, and then the heft of pages is merely more to look forward to. Thanks for stopping by!
A video about how not to become jaded as a reader. 👍
Astute summation. Absolutely.
Do you remember the first book you read on your own, as a kid? Memories of my thoroughly self-sufficient success still bring me joy! Your comments remind me to validate that sort of judgement-free reading experience 🙂
My mother has an old video of me reading my first book on my own: Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel. I think that element of playful sound in language has stuck in my ear ever since. We often discover ourselves in reading.
Interesting thoughts for sure. My general approach is that the vast majority of books I read are more or less on a whim such as "I want to know more about beetles and all their variety" or "I should learn more about all the deforestation going on." (Probably half of my reading is nature or environmental lol). When I read these books its mostly just to learn about he topic for myself and curiosity or to start or use in conversations with others so I don't really feel a pressure per se. Then there are some books that I've started tabbing, annotating, or taking notes actively but I plan for that ahead of time sort of and treat it almost as a different activity than the majority of my reading. Separating them in a way I feel helps me never really burning out of my enjoyment reading and whatnot. Having many different hobbies also helps a lot in this regard as it brings variety into day to day life. Great video!
Your method shows: one of the most distinctive qualities of your videos is the sense of personality and genuine curiosity you bring. It is fitting that your whims guide you most.
@ToReadersItMayConcern thanks Ruben, appreciate that.
I keep it fresh through mixing and matching, not sticking with one theme or author or style for very long, which then gives me the ability to (perhaps silently) compare and rank these books in my mind. If I've read a more complex novel or collection of stories - Raymond Carver, for example - I might follow up with a Simenon or something similarly light. But I can still be surprised. Finished Zola's NANA last week, after not having read any Zola in ages. Surprising how for want of a better word "pornographic" this novel was compared to say EARTH. Same with watching films - after some Ozu or lord help me Bergman, I'll want a George Formby piece of fluff.
BTW, I stumbled on the four volume Sandburg LINCOLN: THE WAR YEARS in hardcover at a shop the other day.
Yes, I've been mixing and matching more and more lately, and allowing myself to embrace surprise and strangeness. That feels essential to engagement: letting go, discovering.
I also recently found a full set of Sandburg's Lincoln (as if my local bookstore watched my biography vid and knew exactly what I wanted)!
I resonate very much with the angst of "am I reading this text deeply enough" and the hyperawareness of time constraints leading me to an insatiable concern about 'wasting my time'. I imagine I've been inculcated or culturally shaped to assume a particular thing or activity only has value if it elicits some mesurable or financial gain of sorts - paired with a societal push for productivity. Spawning from this are the questions: how do I choose the 'right books', should all my reading be done rigorously or with some type of 'end' associated with the means, and many of the same questions you raised.
At the same time, I find that TH-cam/the expectations I place upon myself/the desire to review or create content derived from the book places necessary pressure upon me to read deeper. Go the extra mile. Do a bit more research or take a few more notes. It provides a sense of accountability or an arbitrary reason for me to read with greater intention that leads me to extract more from a work than I would have done otherwise. I imagine you've experienced a bit of this through your channel as well
So I wholeheartedly agree with your message and I think you eloquently and accurately described the problem with solely reading with purpose. It's a great reminder particularly to a newer reader like me who feels 'behind' or feel as if I have to rush to read all of the classics to catch up to some vague, elusive idea of being well-read.
Thank you for reflecting on this topic with me.
The uncut version of this vid was slightly more balanced, including a somewhat lengthy section on the merits of focus, but I found it distracted and broke off from the momentum of the point. I'll probably do a separate video eventually on the value of focus. I think it is essential to be able to focus and to study, to register the intention of the work and to comprehend the layers beneath the surface. Especially when starting out in literature. Focus is a vital skill to cultivate.
Partially, this video is a reminder of the other side of focus. We sometimes become so good at being efficient we forget to wander. You pinpoint it perfectly: we have been "inculcated or culturally shaped to assume a particular thing or activity only has value if it elicits some measurable or financial gain of sorts-paired with a societal push for productivity." We desire answers. Yet answers seem the end of thought. I fear false-certainty in those cases.
Ultimately, I kind of think this video is a reminder to myself that reading is not a job. One risk in making a BookTube channel is that reading becomes a job, or at least an obligation. I am sensitive to becoming "trapped by my audience" in aiming to please and only reading for their sake. I'm sure you experience this yourself, the pressure to read by the standards of others. I partially want to remind myself-and other BookTubers-that we have to trust our passions and trust the audience to follow.
I've so far been incredibly lucky in this whole BookTube thing. You're watching me struggle with staying true to myself amidst my desire to also care about others. I find myself relieved again and again that the more honest and esoteric I get, the more viewers and thoughtful commenters seem to follow. It is such a gift.
Having a booktube channel has also greatly affected my reading, mostly in an extremely positive way. ♥️
You're spot on about how difficult it is to try and figure out what to do with the little spare time we have. There are so many things screaming for our attention nowadays, and the digital world is stealing most of people's reading time.
Great video. ♥️
Your channel is great. Just continue being your authentic self. ❤
@@CarolR-uw7lh Aww thank you!
Well said, this is an important issue for me and I appreciate your thoughts.
Terra Nostra! Such an incredible first sentence, and the rest of the book is of the same vein.
If not for you I likely wouldn't have grabbed Terra Nostra off my shelf in the first place (and I just ordered The Death of Artemio Cruz by the same author).
@@ToReadersItMayConcern I've done a fair amount of thinking and writing on this topic since watching this video and it has led to a few changes in my life, small yet practical (regarding Goodreads and my personal reading tracking habits).
While I had been wrestling with the issue for a while, your message hit home the urgency of needing to return to simplicity. Phrases/words that I found apt here were "sense of obligation", "accumulation of requirements", "checklist", "books as obstacles", and "efficiency of consumption". These are not how things should be. Thank you.
p.s. You may know this already but I've been doing some research and have learned that Artemio Cruz is a fairly standard modernist novel, as opposed to Terra Nostra, one of the "paradigmatic texts of postmodernist writing". Having only read TN, I had assumed that C. Fuentes was solely of the postmodern affiliation.
@@TraumaticTomes My own video has affected me similarly: I've slowed down and become more critical of certain habits and ways of thinking regarding efficiency and progress. We live within a set of norms of how best to accomplish life, and yet so many of those norms are work-oriented and productive rather than always meaningful and contemplative. I want more contemplation in my life. I'm grateful that my thoughts spoke to you and that you've carried them in your own way.
I will say, from the bit of Artemio Cruz I've read so far, though it is not postmodern it is certainly beautifully written. Fuentes is a master of prose style.
Much of my reading gets drowned under the syrup of "how will I talk about this?", and it takes me a fair amount of self-discipline to say "NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT!" If I come up with an angle for discussing a given book, great! If not, also great! Because I have no shortage of things I've already tagged to discuss.
A line came to me the other day: "Read like you're talking a walk through the park, not going to the grocery store." Don't give yourself too much of an agenda to accomplish. Just go see what happens.
That is solid advice. "Taking a walk," allowing the breeze of prose to be enough for all your wandering.
What a great and intelligent discussion, thank you! You propose such a valuable ethos to approach, read and contemplate literature. That meeting of minds through the page and difference found there that you describe is what I find so continuously exciting.
Fantastic seeing you here (love your channel)!
Books are precious: in our discovery of difference we also find recognition, somehow, in the mind of a stranger. That is forever sublime.
GREAT vid , thanks to you, I found a copy of Ideas and Thinkers by Chris Rohmann, and just for leisure I open the book randomly read the Ideas and ponder on it and writing my own soliloquies on it. ... now even more encouraged by this vid 👏🏾💫
That sounds like such a wonderful thing to do! Our time is our time and we should cherish it (we won't get that time again). Writing while reading is perhaps one of the best ways to write, a collaboration between yourself and some other like you, some other seeking words.
Thanks for making this video. Really. I don't have anything interesting or nuanced to say, but I felt it.
I appreciate you letting yourself connect with it. Thank you.
Um, I know what you mean (reading for 'love alone') but reading within a critical culture where there is engagement & considered response can also be generous & connective. I've worked full-time as a book critic for the past decade, & it does sometimes grind joy (that is true) but when you get the 'right' response to a new book, it can be a joyous marriage. Really enjoy thinking about your provocations.
Excellent point. I'd say there's space in one's reading for critical attention and a space for pure passion. This video is partly a reminder to myself to remember the latter (though the former still occurs).
@@ToReadersItMayConcern: couldn't agree more
I (and, based on the comments, a lot of other booktubers) resonate really strongly with this. In particular, those of us who hold to a strict upload schedule. For me, since I came to literature very late in life (only becoming a 'serious' reader maybe four years ago), the consistent upload schedule has actually worked as a positive, giving me the drive to make up for time spent not reading. There are certainly times when the stress of the upcoming upload date weighs on my thoughts, but a rule I've always maintained is that, at the end of a book, I make a snap Yes/No decision on whether I'll make a video about it - it really sucks when I know in my gut that the decision is no, especially when the books are good and took a lot of time to read, but I'm glad that I've gotten into that habit of delaying the decision of whether or not the book becomes a video until after it's read. I've also tried to say to myself "sure, it's a weekly video for now, but as soon as it's too much, just dial it back." I've been lucky that I haven't really needed to restrict the uploads yet, but I know the day will eventually come when the desire to read completely without extrinsic motivations will outweigh the want for a channel.
Thank you for so thoroughly explaining your process. I realize that we've found ourselves in a bit of a luxury problem, having viewers and attempting to offer those viewers something of worth. I've found myself stumbling into a similar decision-process as you: I've finished about seven books in the last month, and except for a couple I'm keeping my thoughts to myself. I think I am still figuring out what my channel is, the sort of worth I offer in these videos. The most vital requirement for myself, though, is that the channel doesn't hamper my love of reading. I'm not sure if you feel the same pressure, but the attention sometimes makes me feel like I need to "please." That feels odd to me, since that isn't why I started the channel, but I certainly have noticed the feeling. One motivation for this video is to remind myself and maybe others that disappointing ourselves matters more than disappointing others. As soon as I caught myself reading too quickly, I knew I needed that reminder.
This is what holds me back from opening up my own Booktube channel. I don't want to feel rushed or pressured when I'm reading. Like you said, digesting a book should be a slow process, and you should give yourself time to digest once you've finished.
I've seen other Booktubers stop posting for months on end, only to come back with the follow-up video saying they needed a mental break from TH-cam because of the pressure.
It is surprising how much pressure builds once viewers expect something of you. That said, I seem to be stumbling onto my own remedy: there are at least seven books I've read in the past two months that I haven't discussed yet on this channel. I've allowed myself not to have reviews be the center of my output. That is deeply freeing. Of course, any one of these can be made into a review later on, but I don't feel any obligation to do that, and so my reading gets to be strictly mine. One challenge this brings is coming up with other topics for videos, but so far that's turned into a creative opportunity for me and has worked out nicely.
If you ever decide to make a BookTube channel of your own, please let me know. I will gladly share it!
@@ToReadersItMayConcern That's great! I look forward to more of your content. And if I ever do open up a channel, I will let you know! Thanks for your support.
Once again I'm resonating so much with what you're saying. I've noticed that being a book reviewer affects my reading in two ways. It helps me approach books with a more sustained sense of attentiveness and desire to understand the material well. Like you were saying, I really want to be able to say something insightful about the books. If somebody takes the time to click my video, I really want to try to make sure they aren't wasting their time. Also, I noticed it affects my choice of reading material. Before youtube, I read more religious criticism, but now I'm afraid of alienating people so I shy away from those kinds of books. As a result, I'm falling behind in that area of study.
When I started this channel, I made a promise to myself not to allow it to change my reading habits. This video is kind of a reminder to myself about that promise. I have to trust that people will be open to my tastes, even if my tastes lean at times toward the obscure or obtuse.
@@ToReadersItMayConcern You really reminded me that I love those kinds of books, and it's been too long since I read some of them. So thank you. I think I'll start one very soon!
Such an important topic in this time of rabid pressure to consume consume consume! I love that you consciously slowed down to rediscover your original love of total imaginative immersion.
I try to make a practice of rereading, based on a similar philosophy. When I feel myself resisting the practice of rereading familiar texts I know that I’m getting too caught up in grasping for the bright and unreachable horizon of The Next New Book. While curiosity is the lifeblood of the bookish life, it risks spilling into acquisitiveness (for me in any case). Rereading is the panacea that reminds me of the original love of reading for the pleasure and insight which has nothing to do with stats, goals and bucket lists (nothing wrong with these in and of themselves-only when they supersede the true love of literature!)
I wonder which books you have found most richly rewarding as slow reads? Which books do you return to most often?
Thank you for another excellent video!
Rereading is essential. I feel you might tire of my mention of her name, but she truly is my favorite, and that is Virginia Woolf, in particular her work The Waves. I just read it again a few days ago. The character Bernard's thoughts speak to me deeply. I also love to reread bits of works, bits of Only Revolutions by Danielewski, bits of Nabokov, bits of philosophy, too,-the existentialists could write so poignantly at times-but also heavier philosophy that hits for intellectual reasons: Parfit, Kant, Popper-their rigidity is somehow sublime if I let myself follow through from point to point. Poetry is forever rereadable. I recently starting caring more attentively to Laura Riding. Her poetry is seemingly stiff, and yet like philosophy I find myself immersed in the fullness of thought and honesty of questioning. I guess I'm always seeking honesty. That may be all I care about, found as much in poetry as philosophy as science as fiction.
Cormac McCarthy is the author I return to constantly when I need to recharge. It might be that what I just read was difficult, or that it challenged a belief I might have held dear. Sometimes it's just that what I read was so beautiful that it broke my heart and I needed time to reflect on it. As an introvert something in McCarthy's writing helps me direct my gaze inward, perhaps it's the space he leaves in his prose, hard to quantify the intangibles sometimes. Perhaps it's just where I direct my internal eye when I immerse myself in his familiar words.Being an introvert is definitely a reading superpower!
You remind me that I haven't read Cormac McCarthy in many years. I, too, have found his works charging and meditative in their beauty (despite, or maybe directly as a result of the contrast to, the harshness of their subject matter). Thank you for reminding me to return to his works. Perhaps I could try his final double-volume novel.
A writer who similarly elicits that introvert-spark for me is Virginia Woolf, especially in her work The Waves (I hope to make a video devoted to Virginia Woolf someday). If you have not read her yet, I highly recommend you try The Waves (for sheer beauty), Orlando (for sheer flow), or Mrs. Dalloway (for sheer resonance long after reading). The Waves is perhaps the most perfect novel I have ever read (and I have read a lot of novels); yet it requires much adaptation from you, in terms of adapting to the writer's pace and orientation. Being an introvert, though, should serve as an advantage for you in this regard (it was for me).
I just finished my first read through of The Passenger and Stella Maris, both were excellent. My personal favourite is Suttree, there's just so much desperation and futility in that work, I think about that character constantly as I navigate my own life. It's dark but always hopeful. I have a copy of The Waves so that will be next after I finish The philosophy of Religion text I am working through at the moment. Another great video , thank you again.
@@owendavis4154 I think Suttree will be the next McCarthy I read. Thank you for bringing this author back to my attention.
thanks I really needed this right now!
I had hoped what I felt would resonate with others. I'm glad I reached you at the best time. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves why we're reading in the first place.
Awesome vid!!! -Thank You
Glad you liked it!
Great analysis, man! Thanks!
My pleasure! Glad you liked it!
Excellent video, thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!
This helped me. Thank you.
I hoped it would help others. This is a specific struggle with reading that we can forget to talk about.
Great video and a good reminder
Begun as a reminder to myself, and I'm glad it resonates with others. Thank you!
Can you do a tour of your shelves?
I will someday, but I have limited time and there are a lot of other video ideas I want to focus on first. One challenge is I have over 1,000 books, so a complete shelf tour would take a long, long time.
@@ToReadersItMayConcern thank you