How To Appear More Charismatic Even If You’re Not

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2023
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ความคิดเห็น • 415

  • @derektaylor7613
    @derektaylor7613 ปีที่แล้ว +1594

    The reason they ask is so that they can tell you what they do.

    • @roninsjourney7560
      @roninsjourney7560 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      And to judge you

    • @TheSeth256
      @TheSeth256 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      Nah, it's more about estimating your social standing, similar to asking where you live.

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not true

    • @louskuntz819
      @louskuntz819 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Facts 😂

    • @-pg6767
      @-pg6767 ปีที่แล้ว

      You sound like a raging incel🤣 Unless your talking to egotistical Americans, they are just trying to understand you and make conversation.

  • @bantyrFish
    @bantyrFish ปีที่แล้ว +858

    “what do you do?” me: “I do my best 🙃”

    • @roninsjourney7560
      @roninsjourney7560 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Gottem

    • @GetUnlabeled
      @GetUnlabeled ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nice

    • @elitebeing21
      @elitebeing21 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aww. Love it

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I like... what do you think I do? It's playful, fun.

    • @ReasonAboveEverything
      @ReasonAboveEverything ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We should absolutely hang out. Wanna go drink beer in graveyard at night and scare people by screaming at them behind the trees?

  • @TheRexTera
    @TheRexTera ปีที่แล้ว +281

    “What do you do?”
    “Boring dead-end job that pays just enough to make ends meet. What about you?”
    “Can I get the bill please”

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me: tell me more. I'll buy

    • @danbrown4420
      @danbrown4420 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      You could frame it as, "I just do X job as a means to an end, what I'm really passionate about in my spare time is..." then proceed to talk about something you like, at which point you'll probably get more energetic and the conversation will flow, or they'll not be interested, in which case you're probably not a good fit for whatever kind of relationship you're looking for with them if they don't care about your passions or appreciate the joy you get from them.

  • @oftin_wong
    @oftin_wong ปีที่แล้ว +440

    Sadly most average humans really don't have a big list of things to say like that ..they live lives of quiet desperation

    • @Kelly_Ben
      @Kelly_Ben ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Ouch... this was a punch in the gut. 😆 I work year by year building an interesting life without desperation, but a boatload of struggle. 😂

    • @oftin_wong
      @oftin_wong ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Kelly_Ben you took my comment entirely on a personal level then? Do you think I'm wrong ?
      I mean he has good advice
      Not sure how it carries over to the law of averages though

    • @gordongekko2781
      @gordongekko2781 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@oftin_wong I totally agree. Twelve years of my life were spent working the dreary, dead-end, low-wage job of overnight security guard. Before that I was an overnight convenience store clerk. I could tell you endless stories of departmental politics, middle managers taking advantage of their staff, and low level employees stabbing each other in the back in vain attempts to move up one rung on the ladder and earn a few more crumbs of pay. But, I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear *those* stories.

    • @oftin_wong
      @oftin_wong ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@gordongekko2781 I worked in a university and as a research scientist and it was the same ...backstabbing, I went back to being a self employed carpenter / stonemason just for the autonomy and an end to the worst aspects of human nature

    • @gordongekko2781
      @gordongekko2781 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@oftin_wong Interesting. Those 12 years I spent as a security guard was on a state college campus, so you know exactly what I'm talking about.

  • @smokingcrab2290
    @smokingcrab2290 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    When they ask what you do, don't answer with your job.. answer with something you *like* doing. It'll make you way more enthusiastic about the conversation and your energy will rub off on the other person. They don't care about what you do for work. They want to see a person who's alive.

    • @thejames3431
      @thejames3431 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      UNLESS you actually have a legit job. No doctor, engineering, lawyer, etc. should follow this advice.

  • @IwanNieuwland
    @IwanNieuwland ปีที่แล้ว +264

    That's right, just start info-dumping on someone as soon as you meet. Guaranteed charisma.

    • @Sanakudou
      @Sanakudou ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Only if it’s interesting enough to prompt conversation. Irrelevant and mundane info dumping (especially any of the self deprecating or self pitying variety) that gives the other person nothing to build on kills a conversation very quickly. If someone asks a question it’s to prompt a conversation topic, to avoid that awkward silence. Asking them questions in return is also important to make the person feel you’re interested in them too. Nothing is more awful than trying to start a conversation and having that one question you asked to start and back and forth instead turn into listening to their 5-10 minute uninterrupted description of their mundane everyday life with no real point being made; they just clearly like self indulging. At least in awkward silence you can attempt to say something or even attempt to leave, but ramblers with no social awareness/inability to read someone’s engagement level can make for an agonising first impression. So not all “info dumping” is going to go down well.

    • @maximummatt73
      @maximummatt73 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      @@Sanakudou see, you just proved him right. Nobody's gonna read that textwall

    • @laurensommers6848
      @laurensommers6848 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@maximummatt73 I read it.

    • @Fred-zt5ky
      @Fred-zt5ky ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@maximummatt73 I actually read it too and found it interesting. You might wanna work on your attention span.

    • @maximummatt73
      @maximummatt73 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Fred-zt5ky but you're a nobody. So I'm still right.

  • @themanwiththeplan676
    @themanwiththeplan676 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    Short answer: Be more interesting. Got it.

    • @ninelaivz4334
      @ninelaivz4334 ปีที่แล้ว

      And a bullshitter.

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Be funny. When u are talking stop... and say " you have beautiful..... blank. But mean it. Then continue speaking. ❤️

    • @ReasonAboveEverything
      @ReasonAboveEverything ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@heidi22209 "I work part time jobs and I am still in university because I had health problems due to shit genes. You have absolutely lovely eyes. When I am not working I usually do archery, play chess and drink way too much. So what do you do"
      I bet you are blushing.

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @I am the one I make bets too. Poker and pool. I do leather work. Was a welder in the past. I'm a life long service industry professional. Drink alot. 🍸 give a lot of life coaching for some reason my phone is very busy. I take care of my dudes they are all falling apart lately. 💔
      I love my lady friends. Had a bunch of surgeries to put my body back together after my ex bf tried to kill me. Soooo.... not as strong as I was..

    • @maximummatt73
      @maximummatt73 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ReasonAboveEverything the ladies will think you're a serial killer, bro

  • @monicathornton8227
    @monicathornton8227 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    They're actually sizing you up for your social class ie how much do you make. Tell them you're a samurai warrior

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Depending on how Bourgeois they are. Have fun with it.

    • @arisu229
      @arisu229 ปีที่แล้ว

      I do that all the time.✨

    • @snorttroll4379
      @snorttroll4379 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Samurai is fairly high up, is it not?

    • @user-vu8ck7tq4v
      @user-vu8ck7tq4v 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@snorttroll4379socially yes monetarily no in Japan they tended to go reverse

    • @adrianaadnan9958
      @adrianaadnan9958 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly. Usa n dubai. Cast system sorting.
      Some just directly assume aggressively asking. 'Are you a Philippino nanny?'

  • @pluton1263
    @pluton1263 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Whenever I meet someone for the first time I ask them what they are passionate about and what drives them. It's nice to see how their faces light up. Bedsides, it makes for a much more interesting conversation.

    • @MagnumOpusYT
      @MagnumOpusYT ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Bit weird, if someone asked me that unless I was in deep conversation I wouldn't answer them

    • @user-ct2hj4dg6z
      @user-ct2hj4dg6z ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@MagnumOpusYT it's not weird

    • @tron103
      @tron103 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Would be weird if too deep too early

    • @_SIRenity_
      @_SIRenity_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      A bit too much like a job interview.

  • @99999janice
    @99999janice ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I know men struggle with conversing with women. The best advice I gave a guy I was working with who wanted to know how to get a girlfriend. It was always stop over talking and ask her interesting questions then really listen. And present yourself as husband material As someone who wants to be in a real relationship. He was surprised. I told him ALL women, in the back of their mind are evaluating every male as potential husband material. Present yourself as a serious candidate. He took it to heart and three weeks later reported he had met someone and it was going well. Thanks

    • @infinityslibrarian5969
      @infinityslibrarian5969 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nice👌🏽

    • @automatedimagination
      @automatedimagination ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You've given far too much charity to the mind of the average woman.

    • @99999janice
      @99999janice ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nothing secret about it.

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว

      Attaboy! Love some bro coaching. Thank you ❤

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@Uncle Iroh can you not ruin this win for us gals that meet a good guy. Who had a buddy that encouraged him. Ffs.

  • @hthrun
    @hthrun ปีที่แล้ว +100

    But if I'm more charismatic, people might want to talk to me more. No thanks.

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That would be awful

    • @libertaddiaz
      @libertaddiaz ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Said no charismatic person ever! Lol jking

    • @user-ij6py2zi9b
      @user-ij6py2zi9b 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      simple, analyze the people around you and create a short mental list of people who appear to be worth talking to. If the other person is very introverted and quiet, you will have to be more talkative to form a connection. If loud and extravert, Ask more open-ended questions and listen more. Opposites really do attract!

    • @hthrun
      @hthrun 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@freeottis I'm an introvert

  • @smurfy7972
    @smurfy7972 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Depends on culture. In the US they absolutely care what you do. It’s why it’s one of the first questions they ask; so that they can decide how much respect to give you. Remember, it’s the most individualistic country in the world. I’ve lived both in the US and the UK and caring about careers is vastly different.

  • @marysalmon2367
    @marysalmon2367 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    They're pinning your education, background, social class and way of speaking. I was introduced to someone who worked in a lab, as soon as they heard my non science occupation, you could see any interest turn off like a switch. People just looking for their tribe, we all do it.

  • @bernibeckmann9753
    @bernibeckmann9753 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The reason they ask is because they want to know how much respect they should give you. I give a vague "Oh, I work in construction" If they're worth knowing socially they will ask a follow up question. In fact I use the "follow up question shit test" all the time. Most people are too consumed with what ever they're consumed with to actually distinguish themselves as someone worth being charismatic to or with. That's just reality, not sour grapes, I still enjoy people.

    • @andreasv9472
      @andreasv9472 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Many interesting people have low social skills

    • @mjwbulich
      @mjwbulich ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@andreasv9472 And that makes them uninteresting to me. I don't like weak, timid, or awkward people.

    • @kwyatt261
      @kwyatt261 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​​@@mjwbulichYeah it's totally fine to just write people off. I find people who write other people off to be uninteresting and unable to stimulate my thoughts.

  • @Queef_Storm
    @Queef_Storm ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Overlap in interests and experiences is where connection can happen

  • @vasipro
    @vasipro ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Good advice. Often I undervalue myself because been christian we are humble, but you are right. It's not bragging, it's respecting yourself.

  • @BenMJay
    @BenMJay ปีที่แล้ว +31

    How to appear more charismatic? Simple. I just walk and talk like George Jefferson.

    • @timh2065
      @timh2065 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Movin' on up!

  • @andykitt0762
    @andykitt0762 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    "I repay the debts I've incurred from a wasted youth."
    Ambiguous. Insightful. Charming. What else do you need to know?

  • @olgarodionova27
    @olgarodionova27 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The thing I learned is that people love to talk about themselves. Sometimes people just want to be heard, so I always tend to ask questions about their life.

  • @sarahthesoulscout
    @sarahthesoulscout ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for helping me seem less boring 😂❤ I'm not a boring person at all but I know I can come off that way as an introvert meeting new people!

  • @kurtsudheim825
    @kurtsudheim825 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There are also other reasons, like guessing how much you earn, what type of person you blight be if they're a stereotype, & by what characteristics that job may often require, or just generally has, etc

  • @enrater123
    @enrater123 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I didn't expect this to have an actually good tip but it did lol

    • @Akas410
      @Akas410 ปีที่แล้ว

      True that.

  • @Brandon_W38
    @Brandon_W38 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When me and my long time girlfriend had our first date, I told her that I was involved in a project. But I didn’t want to tell exactly what it was (because I was afraid that it was going to fail) She was absolutely hooked and interested.

  • @andrewwabik5125
    @andrewwabik5125 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “I lift things up and put them down. I also do original guitar instrumentals on TH-cam because that makes me happy. And getting any sort of monetization some day would help me feel like I did something I was put here to do. Which is to make music.”

  • @josephmasongsong11
    @josephmasongsong11 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I disagree with your assessment on why people ask others what they do. They actually do it as a gauge or a measure of the person they are talking to.

    • @unicornkitteh5332
      @unicornkitteh5332 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      And so they can talk about themselves. Theyre hoping you ask what THEY do

    • @joshsigned2500
      @joshsigned2500 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      y’all, I ask so I don’t have to answer myself lol. I just keep asking questions.

    • @jamesdewane1642
      @jamesdewane1642 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes. One thing they're gauging is your ability and/or desire to be interesting or engaging. And we all do the same whether we're are aware of it or not.

  • @byos
    @byos 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I tell people I’m the world’s best courage coach and that I teach people how to take bold massive and courageous action so that they can facilitate their own miraculous outcomes. My life is ridiculous because of that declaration and decision to operate as the world’s best courage coach.

  • @willjack6725
    @willjack6725 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is call ‘threading’.
    Great tip.
    If you want a good conversation or you want to avoid awkward conversations, it’s your job to thread as much as you can.
    How’s your day?
    Fine….
    Becomes.
    How’s your day?
    Really good thank you, I was up really early to run. Then I made a mess in the kitchen when my smoothy maker exploded. I’ve got a tonne of prep to do for our group presentation tomorrow and tonight I’m catching my parent for dinner at a new Italian place.
    You’ve given so much people can work with.

  • @Spiderfang-pu2zr
    @Spiderfang-pu2zr ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Well most people have nothing going for themselves so that will not work for the average person

  • @thomasweir2834
    @thomasweir2834 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Just look them square in the eye and say firmly “ I don’t answer questions”. Then leave. It’s the incredibly charismatic.

  • @Bradley9967
    @Bradley9967 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I just say "only fans"

    • @gordongekko2781
      @gordongekko2781 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha!

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol
      Totally. Just did that at the gun club with 6 old men I'd never met....

    • @gc2696
      @gc2696 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Stripper by day, vigilante by night ......serial killer at the weekend 😎✌🏻

  • @Acoto
    @Acoto 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Here are my steps
    Rule #1: Dont be boring.
    Rule #2: Dont be cringe.
    Rule #3: Entertain yourself
    Rule #4: Kindly but firmly disallow people to cross the boundaries you set.
    Rule #5: Dont take anything personally unless they honestly meant it to be personal

  • @otashi3239
    @otashi3239 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    "im learning to fix planes and helicopters, hoping to travel the world and make money that way"

  • @VEGAS-NERVE
    @VEGAS-NERVE ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Lol I actually did get a psych degree and went to Brazil for 6 months

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Neat.

    • @Rollacoastertycoon
      @Rollacoastertycoon 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Works at Starbucks

    • @VEGAS-NERVE
      @VEGAS-NERVE 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Rollacoastertycoon I was a barista for a while lol

    • @Rollacoastertycoon
      @Rollacoastertycoon 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@VEGAS-NERVE hard working American 🫡

  • @johnnymember
    @johnnymember ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Pick your nose in front of them and flick it at random people. Makes you look confident…

  • @staceyroberts2067
    @staceyroberts2067 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m 56 and was just diagnosed with a mild form of aspergers, which has been so helpful to make me aware and try to change the behaviors I have that I don’t have that I don’t like about myself. One behavior is turning the conversation back to yourself and over sharing. I now realize people don’t care what’s going on in my life and I don’t have to know everything about what’s going on in theirs. It’s made a huge difference in how people now treat me as where before people avoided me.

  • @Melisa-vc8my
    @Melisa-vc8my ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great advice. I actually have an amazing life and love what I do, but if someone asks what I do, I get do awkz, play it down bc I know people aren't really interested in how much I love my life. So I usually just flip it back to them. At the end of the day, they only wana talk bout themselves....then I get bored with the convo, real quick

  • @IntrepidDivergence
    @IntrepidDivergence 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I dont know if Chris found this out by himself, but this technique is called "conversational threading". Instead of just giving a dead end answer, say something with multiple points of interest within a single instance, so that there is enough intrigue to keep the conversation moving along.

  • @killyourego1185
    @killyourego1185 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    So "I like weed and video games" isn't a good answer..?

    • @garrettduffy515
      @garrettduffy515 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm gonna say that just to see the look on her face.

  • @baldyhardnut260
    @baldyhardnut260 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bro what do you do? Other guy: Starts to tell his life story... bruh??!

  • @Stampistuta
    @Stampistuta 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Vihn Giang has similar advice, essentially try to provide several paths for the conversation to go down. They’ll latch onto the part of your answer that appeals to them the most.

  • @sharanpreetsingh7848
    @sharanpreetsingh7848 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This will be really helpful Chris 👏

  • @orderingfoodwgoogledoxesu3113
    @orderingfoodwgoogledoxesu3113 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    How to be charismatic even when you're not.
    Step 1: be more charismatic

  • @llspeziale8844
    @llspeziale8844 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    True; you can pick any piece and make that the commonality. Like this example, “ooh, Brazil, I heard they eat a lot of meat, is they true?” Honestly - I see people say it’s because the other person wants to talk, but I’m usually genuinely interested in hearing about people’s experiences.

  • @recember
    @recember ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What do you do?
    “Why, so you can pretend like you’re interested?”
    - Tyler durden

  • @clubberdan7524
    @clubberdan7524 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Anyone know what number episode this is from?

  • @breakingthemasks
    @breakingthemasks 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is called conversational threading... And its a great idea.
    But ots not why people ask what you do... They ask what you do tontey to figure out where you rank in the social hierarchy. If youre above them, or below them.
    Harsh facts, but true.

  • @docadjmf
    @docadjmf 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great advice Chris!

  • @pvsk10
    @pvsk10 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Fighting the good fight

  • @alejandraeusse4151
    @alejandraeusse4151 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is 100% masking 😅

  • @erickinzel2645
    @erickinzel2645 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your podcast is fully coiled up ready to go parabolic foreal your podcast is going to take off this year mark my words 🦅

  • @azr6288
    @azr6288 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great tips Chris

  • @sideburnsandwich1119
    @sideburnsandwich1119 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Ha, I had this question posed to me last week.
    I gave an unenthusiastic, accurate answer, and it killed any potential conversations stone dead.
    Zero follow up. I’m sure I was expected to finish with ‘what about you?’ But, I don’t care what you do.
    I’m not the type that ever wants to have pointless small talk so I know I react intentionally dismissively and borderline annoyed that I’ve been tasked with having to engage with another person.

  • @susanfrary7424
    @susanfrary7424 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I always answer that question with "What do I do when?"

  • @vinayakmenon3609
    @vinayakmenon3609 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's stuff like this that makes me glad I subscribed to your channel.

  • @theMightywooosh
    @theMightywooosh ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I was really upset about the way the world was so I went to art school but I dropped out... It wasn't working for me
    then joined the army and quickly moved up the ranks

    • @theMightywooosh
      @theMightywooosh ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Forgot to mention that I also dabbled in politics

    • @moretestmorebreast7654
      @moretestmorebreast7654 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@theMightywooosh Sam Hyde was your top guy

    • @TJXD
      @TJXD ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@moretestmorebreast7654smh

    • @JM-mr6lv
      @JM-mr6lv ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What’s your take on tiny hats

    • @heidi22209
      @heidi22209 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hitler?

  • @snappiegappie
    @snappiegappie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is a great response.

  • @peterv7258
    @peterv7258 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    In the past I have heard the "what do you do?" question lambasted as being status and job obsessed, as if that was the only reason why anyone every asked that. I like to ask it as a way to start a conversation, though many people do only answer with their job, when anything is fair game. It could be hobbies, vocation, whatever. But many people are just not good at talking or having a perspective on themselves.

  • @gollick
    @gollick 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for the life story

  • @OutTheBlueTarot
    @OutTheBlueTarot 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Tarot reader and voice over actor has ALWAYS been enough... Leaves them intrigued all the time😂

  • @chasleask8533
    @chasleask8533 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    These people live in a different universe to me .

  • @Dabu-Dabu
    @Dabu-Dabu 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is called threading (including things that people can reply to, ask more about). And it's a good practice

  • @ek3241
    @ek3241 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks, keep it up

  • @az9498
    @az9498 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great information Chris thank you 😊

  • @lisetteunk4961
    @lisetteunk4961 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    It's sad all of our interactions have to be so fake or scripted. Never going to find the one if you're so worried about engaging them and not being yourself. So they want the "charismatic" person you pretended to be, but you can't pull that off very long.

  • @IndigoIndustrial
    @IndigoIndustrial 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "What do you do?"
    "I'm in sales now, but I did two..."
    "Right, well good luck with that"
    "What do you do?"
    "I'm working towards setting up my film school etc etc"
    "Get your coat, you've pulled"

  • @KlaudiaGanancial
    @KlaudiaGanancial ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome thank you ❤

  • @stevenmcmaster884
    @stevenmcmaster884 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I said exactly what you said to say. It made the conversation so much harder cause I know nothing about Brazil

  • @Kelly_Ben
    @Kelly_Ben ปีที่แล้ว

    This is awesome! Thanks!

  • @flyaway6671
    @flyaway6671 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It's either general small talk or a way to gauge your value as a person. More important to dress up your job with an alternative title to make it sound respectable then move on to the next topic.

  • @RicardoFinnigan
    @RicardoFinnigan ปีที่แล้ว

    Great advice

  • @jimmyquck
    @jimmyquck 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Conversation threading- Vinh giang talks about this tactic too

  • @alondite215
    @alondite215 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If their first question to me is about what I do for a living, I'm just turning around and walking away.
    I can't honestly think of anything I care less about than my career, because I have more than enough money for the few things I want in life that can actually be bought. Time is the resource I don't have enough of, and I'm certainly not going to waste it on a boring conversation with someone I immediately know I'll never connect with.

  • @_SIRenity_
    @_SIRenity_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Then a few weeks down the line when you are your normal self, they realise you aren’t so charismatic (and that’s ok) so they see you were putting on a front.
    Be confident in yourself, but don’t be someone you’re not

  • @mjwbulich
    @mjwbulich ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I used to do nothing but now I'm retired.

  • @dustinlindsey4452
    @dustinlindsey4452 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If someone ask what you do, they’re trying to determine your social economic level and it should be a red flag if it’s asked too quickly in a conversation. People rely too much on their occupations to self identify and it can cause a lot of misconceptions when first meeting someone. The worst thing someone can talk about is occupations-it holds no meaningful value and therefore you end up just like the rest of the crowd. And FYI if you’re a successful male-you better be extra careful of who is asking and how you answer! Most American modern women are predatory and are out to use men. When first meeting someone, speak in abstracts, ask what inspires, and “how you feels ideas.” Don’t reveal too many facts about yourself, engage the idea of mystery. It will make you more intriguing and protect you from people out to use you. Women love communicating with the ideas of feeling and emotion; if done right this will connect you more together than any boring work talk.

  • @whenimmanicimgodly4228
    @whenimmanicimgodly4228 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The reason people ask what you do is very simple: they are makint conversation and want to talk, and are probably curious about what you do for work.

  • @rickybonilla3116
    @rickybonilla3116 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    😊 thanks

  • @captainkj
    @captainkj 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Chris have you ever interviewed Vanessa Van Edwards? She’s excellent in this field

  • @AndusDominae
    @AndusDominae ปีที่แล้ว

    I have such a long list of things I could say.
    I often break it down into a) I studied to be a medical scientist. b) I use that as a hook for my diet and exercise coaching business. c) I volunteer at a dogs' home and a charity helping autistic people get into gardening. d) I want to start a charity taking disabled young adults, especially nerdy people, out into the woods, up mountains, into gyms, to do things society wouldn't think they're capable of. I'd also like to have an animal sanctuary, particularly focussing on reptiles and dogs, maybe corvids too, but that's something for a decade or two down the line.
    If they want to talk about why I'm not a scientist, I can say I had undiagnosed PTSD and left the lab not wanting to return, but now I've had all the help necessary I might go back to it. This can generally lead in one of several obvious directions.
    If I think the conversation's better served being more vulnerable I can do my thing showing male victims particularly of domestic abuse that if it can happen to a 6'4" ex thai boxing powerlifter, it can happen to anyone... It's ok to admit as long as you pick yourself up and sort yourself out... I've got the experience to maybe offer actionable advice, but if I don't show the initial "this is my baggage" I can't then say "this is how I made it into just a wallet".
    If it's better served being the stoic, I can comfortably say I've recovered from everything, I can learn from the past but there's no practical use in dwelling.
    If I need to be optimistic, my life's better than ever, it's getting better everyday, and I'm firmly in the driving seat.

  • @ChrisTedoni
    @ChrisTedoni 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What do you do?
    I spend my time walking around asking people how they are doing. I am also writing multiple graphic novels and am invested in multiple movie and television projects.
    Oh, I just meant pilates or yoga because you are in great shape.

  • @austinsummersmusic
    @austinsummersmusic ปีที่แล้ว

    They ask what you to do judge you and know if they’re better than you or not. It’s not complicated. But it’s reality. It allows them subconsciously to know whether they can dominate the conversation or you. But they rarely actively know they’re doing it, it’s just a human nature thing.

  • @SerasXHarkonnen
    @SerasXHarkonnen 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    One of my favourites was at a wedding for a family friend, I was at the table with my brothers and we met some people for the first time, they asked what we did, my brothers go on to explain they're an engineer and an accountant, I said, "and I disappoint our parents mostly."

  • @annerodriguezinc
    @annerodriguezinc 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Omg...his answer is my life😮😂

  • @Pimp-Master
    @Pimp-Master 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "I was in a reality show for ax murderers" would be a good retort.

  • @sidd00k
    @sidd00k หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For those boring repetitive questions, have some funny/unusual response ready to go.

  • @Stanthemilkman
    @Stanthemilkman ปีที่แล้ว

    Free information

  • @bsdpowa
    @bsdpowa 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "So what do you do?"
    "About what?"

  • @IM_VARN
    @IM_VARN 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Buddy has Damn GOOD Eyes 💚

  • @Pimp-Master
    @Pimp-Master 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    An associate of Warhol once told me something after I asked his name: "I don't communicate," which really interested me.

  • @guglielmoscecspir1053
    @guglielmoscecspir1053 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Or you can simply be yourself, there is also that.

  • @user-qs6tz8sp5q
    @user-qs6tz8sp5q 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    From "How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes

  • @ZombieLincoln666
    @ZombieLincoln666 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “what do you do?”
    “I don’t do shit, I do not go outside”

  • @davidclark9619
    @davidclark9619 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I test boomerangs for quality control, I remove the ones that don't come back.

  • @haydentrudgill
    @haydentrudgill 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When I get asked this question, I use it to display my sense of humour as I find that question so boring. It also allows me to engage their response and see what their sense of humour is. My answer normally is something like "Im a serial killer. I do Program Management part-time". It's quite an open door. Either party can go anywhere with it.

  • @B25611
    @B25611 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if someone doesn't have any interesting occupation, hobbies or activities to add to the conversation? Should they lie according to your advise? It doesn't make any sense. Being authenticaly yourself shouldn't be enough to make people like you, instead of getting impressed by the illusion of who you're drawing out?

  • @ds_7
    @ds_7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What book or content is this referencing? Keen to read it

    • @gemlouise1260
      @gemlouise1260 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's an interview with a guy who has a channel on here called 'Charisma on Command'. I watched the whole episode the other day.

  • @Nature_girl5650
    @Nature_girl5650 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Everyone asks me this and I feel uncomfortable and then I don't want to meet them like I am studying right now but I don't know why we start to asking this question only can we not asking about their hobbies and their interest but my family members have to tell the society what is happening in my life it is like big announcement but anyways the script thing is interesting and I try to apply this but problem is that I cannot make things but trying to be

  • @bradley5973
    @bradley5973 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I usually say "I take care of my people" and women look at me confused and it leaves mystery and they will want to know ,just be playful and tell them if they really want to know they will have to earn your trust and the mystery behind that makes you more interesting 😂

  • @RevolutionNTty
    @RevolutionNTty ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If you open that much só early, they Will lose interest. Be careful

  • @supremelordoftheuniverse5449
    @supremelordoftheuniverse5449 ปีที่แล้ว

    Maybe for business or other non spontaneous situations. But real human connection doesn’t need scripts