Again you don't touch someone else plate with your chopsticks directly they have to share by putting it on a third plate which you then take it off of to put on your own plate. Or you take from a communal dish in the center of the table (often times aisan meals are served family style with everyone getting a bowl of rice and maybe a soup and everything else put on large plates on the table for everyone to take from).
As a japanese, I don't even respect this typa stupid rule bc it makes zero sense yet people judge you thinking you're uneducated and the worst part is they the people you're eating with tell you to the face you have no common sense which is annoying af Even when you're at home eating just with your partner he or she still point that out like the girl in this video. It's suffocating
It is true you do not take meat from another persons chopsticks. You can though take food with your chopsticks to feed you date, put the food in their mouth with your chopsticks. But never chopsticks to chopsticks. It is definitely an abstract experience picking out the bones from a cremated body while it is still cooking after the firing. My American friend who passed away here had no family to take his body after his sudden death. which in Japan must be cremating. (He lived here for over 50 years so also almost no family in America)., The Japanese friends were all so respectful of taking a part of a bone each to put in the urn. There was blue type oils exuding from some of his bones, due to the heat, which was absolutely beautiful. Been to several of these sessions here in Japan, but it is so highly respectful and beautiful. It actually helps with the grieving process. Thus for Japanese you must not disrespect this process. Same is true for standing chopsticks upright in your rice. It reminds Japanese of the incense used to pray for the dead, so doing it with food is a cultural taboo. You just don’t do it!
Good to know, I plan to visit in the next few yrs. It’s interesting how different cultures have things they consider rude that from an outside perspective make no sense until it’s explained.
@@cameronharris5107 yes, and the culture of countries have probably been established for hundreds if not over 1,000 years. So who are we to buck against their ideals because we feel uncomfortable. So your positive outlook is going to do you well. Funny thing is most of the world is aware of western cultural do’s and don'ts because of our media platforms. We on the other hand are oblivious to everyone else’s and that puts us at odds with cultures that don't make sense to us. My wife and kids are Jspanese, I have lived here for 25 years but still find myself struggling due to the 180 degree of difference in viewpoints when it comes to a different perspective or cultural differences.
@@whyistheway4567Pardon my stupidity, but I didn't understand why it's disrespectful to do this, in the video she says "this only happens when picking up bones", does it mean that they can do it only in that particular circumstance and doing it with food reminds them of unpleasant and sad moments, or it's just reserved for that occasion? Also, does that imply that there is a bit of a fight over the bones? I am quite curious to understand this cultural aspect
Nowadays it's rarely done by the family members themselves(at least in my part of China), the cremation services take care of everything, so I bet most people don't have that kind of Taboo
As far as I remembered, that kind of experience in a funeral only limits to pushing the cremation button. Personally I can't take the Japanese tradition of picking up my relatives bones, not that I think it's gross, but seeing my beloved becoming nothing is traumatizing
@@MalayPanTVin Chinese we call pick the gold "撿金” or directly call pick the bone "撿骨”, actually east Asian share the same culture in this tradition...just tht most Chinese pick the bones by oneself, one by one instead of many people pick one bone with chopsticks in one time...
As Japanese this is so accurate and correct. We don't do this specially if try to help us picked or re arrange, all you need to do is one person at time or please try to use spoon, for or other kitchen tools
@@saulm.martinez5974maybe I welcome death into my homes because when death comes knocking on my door, DEATH is the guest, not me. This is not DEATHs house, therefore DEATH should be GRATEFUL to be allowed into MY home.
Indonesian here, people from countries with four seasons tend to have more complicated eating habits compared to us who were born and live in a two-season country, which is more relaxed (because we don't need to stockpile food for winter). Or perhaps it's because we bury the bodies of the deceased directly without the need to cremate them.
Same happened when Enhypen were having a meal at a Japanese restaurant, and jake and Sunghoon (ig) were sharing the same meat, and Niki was utterly devastated by the scene....😂😂😂
Imagine this. You hand BONES of your close relative (like your own mother or father) to another relative. I have never seen that video you're talking about but that niki guy must have been stressed tf out. Notice how this girl in this video panicked as soon as their chopsticks touched.
@@momiji7789 really....bro's jaw dropped and everyone froze for a sec. When they asked why, he said you shouldn't do this. Then they immediately said, let's learn😊
I agree! I never thought there will be this much of a difference. In one culture is normal and the other is a taboo! There's no right or wrong, but its always good to keep an open mind
In Vietnam i think this is a problem about hygiene, maybe influenced by confucianism a bit. In my primary school, I once pick one piece of food from my tablemate by my chopstick. She was crying and i was very nervous and remember so well till now. The sentence about this in confucianism is 'Nam nữ thụ thụ bất thân' / 男女授受不親. Meaning males and females shall not allow their hands to touch in giving or receiving anything (Mencius book IV part 1 Li Lau)
@@sheriffzebedeeas long as the parent isn’t using chopsticks on the same food as the child at the same time it’s fine It’s rude if 2 people are holding using chopsticks on 1 item at the same time
Problems in society and communities arise out of this kinda stuff. Some cultures take shit wayyy too personally to the point where kindness is seen as evil or dangerous or offensive. Openness teaches us. Closedness tortures everybody
I’m Japanese and this is engrained so deeply in me that when I actually went to a funeral and had to pick up bones with chopsticks I forgot that we were actually ALLOWED to pass them directly from chopstick to chopstick lmao
@@xwarped83One of the most misunderstood Japanese funeral rituals is kotsuage. This is a cremation ritual with ties to both Buddhism and Shintoism, both common, intertwined belief systems in Japan. Funerals in Japan are no simple affair. There are over 20 procedures included throughout the service and cremation. For outsiders, the concept of kotsuage might sound both heartbreaking and morbid. It’s important to keep in mind the Japanese attitude toward death. In Japan, people are very accepting and open about death. Ancestors are seen as protectors of the family, and the spiritual world is never far away. As such, this is simply another ritual to bring families together after the loss of a loved one. Kotsuage is when the family gathers after the creation of a loved one to pick up the bones. When a body is cremated, fragments of the bone remain in the ash. In the west, these fragments are removed by the crematorium. Only the ashes are returned to the family. In Japan, the practice of kotsuage allows the family to be a part of this process. They remove the bones with a special pair of long chopsticks. It’s also common for the bone fragments to be passed from chopsticks to chopsticks amongst family members. It’s important for the family to pay attention closely during this process. First, the family witnesses the deceased being put into the crematorium chamber. They might use this time to say final goodbyes. When they return later, the remains have cooled. The family picks through the fragments starting at the feet and moving upwards. The ashes and bones are placed into the urn starting with the feet so that the body is feet-down in the urn, like a natural human stance. Once this process is complete, the urn stays within the family’s shrine for anywhere from 30 to 50 days depending on the region of Japan. From there, it’s taken to a graveyard. Kotsuage, like most of Japan’s traditions, has a long history within Japan. Kotsuage came about through the combination of Shinto and Buddhist practices. The native religion in Japan is Shinto. This is a collection of rituals and ways of doing things that have been passed down thousands of years. Buddhist funeral rites came from outside of Japan. These traditions merged in the 1600s when all Japanese people were required to register with a local Buddhist temple. Still, Shinto and Buddhist traditions still exist together. While a Buddhist priest is usually used in Japanese funerals, many of these rituals still reflect the long Shinto tradition. To this day, kotsuage is still used in many Japanese funerals. However, there are many special beliefs and local customs that change the way this ritual looks for different families. For the families that choose to do a kotsuage ritual after the death of a loved one, this is a way to connect with traditions from their ancestors of the past. Buddhist and Shinto funeral rites have survived in Japanese culture for thousands of years. Today, they’re a way for Japanese people to feel connected with their ancestors and community. Though it might sound grotesque to outsiders, this is a highly personal process for families. Through kotsuage or the sifting of the bones, families have an opportunity to pay final respects to the deceased. Like all things in Japan, this is a symbolic practice. The living come face-to-face with the remains of the dead. In a culture where family is so essential to the community, it’s no surprise that family members are the ones who ensure the deceased reach their final resting place. Though these family members are dead, the relationship is seen as living on. Kotsuage is just one part of this transition from a living person to a spiritual ancestor. The dead still have a strong presence in the lives of Japanese families, and this is just one of the many examples of that. Each family and local area has its own unique customs that might affect how they take part in this bone collecting ritual. However, this short list below helps you understand what exactly happens during this part of the funeral process. From there, it’s up to the individual family. It exists as part of the elaborate funeral service, but it’s usually only open to close family to attend. The family stays to witness the body going into the crematorium, though they usually leave during this process. Though it might feel morbid, this is a highly emotional process for families. It’s a chance to say any final goodbyes before the next part of this funeral ceremony. Cremation has a strong role in Buddhism. In this culture, cremation is the way to free the spirit from the body. It facilitates the journey to the next world. It’s a physical and symbolic transition into the next phase of existence. In western culture, bones are reduced into fine ash during cremation. Any bones or foreign objects that aren’t reduced to ash are removed. This process is handled by the professionals at the crematorium, and the family only receives the ashes in an urn or bag at the end of the process. Contrary to this, cremated bones are not reduced in size in Japan. They’re left large intentionally to strengthen the ritual nature of this practice. As such, some bones are quite large. A professional assists the family at the beginning of the kotsuage process, giving them an introduction to the bones in different sections of the remains. Then, the family is left to complete this process. The family uses a special pair of chopsticks to sift through the bones of the deceased. This pair of chopsticks is not a perfect match because they’re made of two different woods to symbolize the separation between the world of the dead and the world of the living. It’s a metaphor for the coming together of these two worlds for this sacred practice. The family members use these chopsticks to collect the ash and bone. For larger pieces of bones, it might take two sets of chopsticks or more to support them on their journey to the urn. ★ It’s a breach of social etiquette to pass food (or anything, really) between different sets of chopsticks, but an exception for "passing between chopsticks" or "touching something with two pairs of chopsticks" is made for this ritual, as this form of support and sharing is a way to honour the dead. However, many Japanese people believe the reverse: that a morsel of food is not touched with two pairs of chopsticks because only the dead's remains may be touched with two pairs of chopsticks. Many historians have noted that chopsticks were used when finding bones from the ashes of the dead because they didn't have gloves back then, and this was a way to avoid ritual and literal uncleanliness of the hands... so that only the dead are touched with two or more pairs of chopsticks at one time, so one should not do this to food or anything for the living, only for supporting the dead. Not all bones are created equal. While care is given throughout the entire kotsuage process, some bones have greater significance than others. The most important bone is the thyroid bone in the neck. This bone in the neck resembles the shape of a seated Buddha, having a lot of significance within the tradition. This bone is also a symbol of the connection between the brain and the body. Parents often encourage younger children to assist with this process as a way to bring good luck. By collecting bones from the head, for example, this is a way to encourage intelligence. This applies to the entire body. The ashes and bones are transferred to an urn or multiple urns. While in the west most families only use one urn, it’s common for multiple urns to be used in Japan. This is because it’s important for these ashes to rest up to 50 days at the family’s shrine before they’re brought to the cemetery. Because some families have multiple shrines, multiple urns are common. The ashes are distributed evenly amongst them, and they’ll go to different shines within the family.
In the western countries they have their own dish to eat for each one, so no need to share or help each other with their meals. Also not hygienic moving/ peeling others meat with your own cutlery.
Within reason depends on what your personal reasoning happens to be. Culture develops from necessity. What seems practical to one culture might be completely impractical to another. Respect and learning from other cultures, while learning the reasoning behind actions is a wonderful thing.
I think it's only harmless because it's foreign to us. Growing up in the south, we have a few taboos that others in the US don't understand, as well. It's all about tolerance and learning.
I would never impose my culture too much on my other behalf like that just because he didnt know. I WOULD tell him, but i’ll just be chill and adapt to him too and would like him to continue to do what he wanted to do. ❤
Hashi watashiwa cracked me up 😂😂😂 I go through the same hurdles learning Japanese because some words have similar pronunciations but are completely different
Embrace each other difference. It's hard I know but it's a process of learning and acceptance. Just like my wife she always cook her hometown delicacy and the taste is a lil bit funny for me at first. Now I just readily accept it 😂
Yes! It's really important to take everything with an open mind. Just listen and understand as each culture has its own set of rules 😊 there's no right or wrong
In dim sum, the waiter would cut the food in half with a scissors if they are too big. For some unknown reason, they never truly cut them thoroughly with tiny bit of the food still connected. It is common for another person to hold one side of the food with their chopsticks so that you can tear it with yours
😮🙏 OMG! Many didn't know that! Also never put chopsticks standing in the cooked rice as it symbolizing making offerings to the Departed! Thank You So Much Arisa for the Japanese etiqutte 101 lesson! 🙏 Arigato Gozaimasu! 🌷🌿🍎🍊🌏✌💜🕊🇲🇾🇯🇵
@@megaplayer5201 There's nothing wrong with helping someone. But it's best to ask first before just diving right in and doing whatever you please. Regardless of if you have good intentions. I would have got quite ticked off if someone did this with me.
In many countries this would be impolite. For reasons of hygiene, you also have your own plates and ladles so that you don't touch other people's food with your own cutlery.
I've lived in Japan and this is sort of like the "no elbows on the table" rule- it's only really enforced by older or more up tight people. I saw young people and workers do it all the time.
Definitely Japanese thing. In Vietnam we also help out each other when picking up food (meat, fish, veggie) like this, mostly by family members. That's the "sense of community", if I may say so myself. Since we use the same dishes for the food for all people in the table anyway. Only the bowls of rice are personal.
This reminds me of that one joke that this one Asian comedian made, a Japanese wife will always smile but when you're sick she'll push you into a river or something like that meanwhile Chinese wife will always scream at you but when you're sick she'll nurse you back to good health
This shows that asian cultures can be very different and complicated, that even another 'asian' from a different region may not fully understand all the local customs. Something seemingly polite may come off as rude if your form is wrong.
Meanwhile here in Germany, either you get told to be too dumb for doing it yourself or someone asks if your knife was dull and maybe ask if you want to try their knife or (mostly by children) your mom/dad will help out (not so much if it's friends) and in a restaurant, if its not working than people sometimes (not often) may ask the staff for a solution to their problem
I respect Japanese. But i also dont allow that uptightness to be around me....... its just painful to know how restrictive they make themselves and the lack of constant enjoyment. I mean live and be productive but find balance.......
I remember Ni-ki from enhypen teaching this etiquette to members. This is why I know this too!
No helping to peel perilla leaves problem solved.😂
yeaa everyone was clueless when niki gasp
@@umikalsom8952I just watched the video where he gasped at members, and TH-cam showed me this
They are always watching us…😬
@@hossoul553 What episode plss I need to watch it now🤧
@@SiphosethuNkolisa sorry, idk I just saw shorts with that clip
Hope you’ll find it ❤️
Maybe he just wanted the chicken for himself 😂
Again you don't touch someone else plate with your chopsticks directly they have to share by putting it on a third plate which you then take it off of to put on your own plate. Or you take from a communal dish in the center of the table (often times aisan meals are served family style with everyone getting a bowl of rice and maybe a soup and everything else put on large plates on the table for everyone to take from).
@@Duke00xIt was a joke...
😂
@@Duke00xbro who asked tho☠️ chill bro, the comment only joking
Do you mind if someone utensils touching your food? I don't.
I love that they learn each others culture everyday and they respect each other😊
😍😍 Yes!! Its why intercultural marriage is not easy sometimes but both side will have to be open minded and just learn
Haha chun
As a japanese, I don't even respect this typa stupid rule bc it makes zero sense yet people judge you thinking you're uneducated and the worst part is they the people you're eating with tell you to the face you have no common sense which is annoying af
Even when you're at home eating just with your partner he or she still point that out like the girl in this video. It's suffocating
@@magikarp221society is often terrible in all parts of the world. Just live life and enjoy.
It is true you do not take meat from another persons chopsticks. You can though take food with your chopsticks to feed you date, put the food in their mouth with your chopsticks. But never chopsticks to chopsticks.
It is definitely an abstract experience picking out the bones from a cremated body while it is still cooking after the firing. My American friend who passed away here had no family to take his body after his sudden death. which in Japan must be cremating. (He lived here for over 50 years so also almost no family in America)., The Japanese friends were all so respectful of taking a part of a bone each to put in the urn. There was blue type oils exuding from some of his bones, due to the heat, which was absolutely beautiful. Been to several of these sessions here in Japan, but it is so highly respectful and beautiful. It actually helps with the grieving process.
Thus for Japanese you must not disrespect this process. Same is true for standing chopsticks upright in your rice. It reminds Japanese of the incense used to pray for the dead, so doing it with food is a cultural taboo. You just don’t do it!
Good to know, I plan to visit in the next few yrs. It’s interesting how different cultures have things they consider rude that from an outside perspective make no sense until it’s explained.
Thank you
@@cameronharris5107 yes, and the culture of countries have probably been established for hundreds if not over 1,000 years. So who are we to buck against their ideals because we feel uncomfortable. So your positive outlook is going to do you well. Funny thing is most of the world is aware of western cultural do’s and don'ts because of our media platforms. We on the other hand are oblivious to everyone else’s and that puts us at odds with cultures that don't make sense to us.
My wife and kids are Jspanese, I have lived here for 25 years but still find myself struggling due to the 180 degree of difference in viewpoints when it comes to a different perspective or cultural differences.
@@whyistheway4567Pardon my stupidity, but I didn't understand why it's disrespectful to do this, in the video she says "this only happens when picking up bones", does it mean that they can do it only in that particular circumstance and doing it with food reminds them of unpleasant and sad moments, or it's just reserved for that occasion? Also, does that imply that there is a bit of a fight over the bones? I am quite curious to understand this cultural aspect
Therea a lot of superstitions in Japanese culture. @@dennispreatto9098
In the Philippines, if it's hard to peel the chicken, we help ourselves by using our hands. Very popular in mang inasal
Nobody ask 😂
@@jasperyong.5744deadass tho 😂 one can always count on a Filipino to make shit about them!
In Peru people straight up use their hands and then lick them.
Baka kayo lang.
Hahaha😂😂@@taps536
The Chinese has the same ritual of picking up cremated bones with chopsticks. It's just that we don't usually take taboos seriously..😂
Nowadays it's rarely done by the family members themselves(at least in my part of China), the cremation services take care of everything, so I bet most people don't have that kind of Taboo
As far as I remembered, that kind of experience in a funeral only limits to pushing the cremation button. Personally I can't take the Japanese tradition of picking up my relatives bones, not that I think it's gross, but seeing my beloved becoming nothing is traumatizing
Oh I didn't know this!! Thank you for sharing, I thought it was only a Japanese culture
@@MalayPanTVin Chinese we call pick the gold "撿金” or directly call pick the bone "撿骨”, actually east Asian share the same culture in this tradition...just tht most Chinese pick the bones by oneself, one by one instead of many people pick one bone with chopsticks in one time...
Until a foreigner does those taboos and then... Oof. Source: 8 years living in China.
She is so polite, dealing with what seems very inappropriate.
She is :) but she s probably saying ‘ahoga’ behind the smiley face🙃
@@recuerdos2457what's the meaning of 'ahoga'?
Japanese in general are too polite like her and it's sometimes annoying
@@crunchycookiezz its roughly the same as 'stupid' or 'idiot'
It's a skit
In malaysia, we do this to ensure the person who unable to peel not being embarass from the situation, so we just help up
Ahh that's actually good! Yeah I know you guys mean to harm, Joshua and his family does this to help each other
@@MalayPanTVmean no harm😅
@@MalayPanTV mean to harm 😭🙏🏻
@@MalayPanTVmean to... harm...?
lol
As Japanese this is so accurate and correct. We don't do this specially if try to help us picked or re arrange, all you need to do is one person at time or please try to use spoon, for or other kitchen tools
"Uu..uu..uu ..dame dame" I love her expression & intonation voice...
Well, both didn't wrong, because the chicken already dead too 😂😂😂
Your calling death into your home..
@@saulm.martinez5974What?
Every meal is really just the animal's cremation
@@saulm.martinez5974Some people would love to do that...
@@saulm.martinez5974maybe I welcome death into my homes because when death comes knocking on my door, DEATH is the guest, not me. This is not DEATHs house, therefore DEATH should be GRATEFUL to be allowed into MY home.
The cutest part was " watashiwa janaio , hashi wa tashi "
Don’t forget that “Dame dame! 👁️👁️
Yeah 😂@@Radnamrok
jya nai yo
watashi wa daniel desu :)
Zura janai, katsura daa!!
Arisa : Woah ! Woah !! Woah !!! 😂😂
Btw was great seeing you two in person at Nihon Matsuri last week😊
Haha I was so surprised!!! Didn't know people do this here..
Ah thank you!! Was nice being able to finally meet my followers too 🥹
Wow
Flashbacks to that time NI-KI was so flabbergasted he turned into Hyunjin..
I love seeing her mixing the languages ❤
She's so pretty!
整到一個點😅
Seeing this made me remember to ni-ki from enhypen 😂
FRRR
Now I understand why did ni-ki give that expression at that time...😭🤧😂he really taught us really meaning rule of Japan..🤧👍🏻❤
I love watching videos like this, educating other countries to understand about other people's countries, respect and educate each others, the best.
Indonesian here, people from countries with four seasons tend to have more complicated eating habits compared to us who were born and live in a two-season country, which is more relaxed (because we don't need to stockpile food for winter). Or perhaps it's because we bury the bodies of the deceased directly without the need to cremate them.
❤❤she is adorable
Same happened when Enhypen were having a meal at a Japanese restaurant, and jake and Sunghoon (ig) were sharing the same meat, and Niki was utterly devastated by the scene....😂😂😂
His expression was literally like °●°
Imagine this. You hand BONES of your close relative (like your own mother or father) to another relative. I have never seen that video you're talking about but that niki guy must have been stressed tf out. Notice how this girl in this video panicked as soon as their chopsticks touched.
@@dwieldina294 true😆
@@momiji7789 really....bro's jaw dropped and everyone froze for a sec. When they asked why, he said you shouldn't do this. Then they immediately said, let's learn😊
@@momiji7789 th-cam.com/users/shortsVlunqii7Yko?si=LLDWLeOHfMGwFMku
Thanks for sharing. We get to learn a Little bit about Japan’s culture.
It's extremely interesting how cultures around the world differ😊
I agree! I never thought there will be this much of a difference. In one culture is normal and the other is a taboo! There's no right or wrong, but its always good to keep an open mind
@@MalayPanTV it's true. At the end of the day we are just humans..and all cultures are important as evidences of our human being..
I m glad born as asian .. got different culture to learn and understand
In Vietnam i think this is a problem about hygiene, maybe influenced by confucianism a bit. In my primary school, I once pick one piece of food from my tablemate by my chopstick. She was crying and i was very nervous and remember so well till now. The sentence about this in confucianism is 'Nam nữ thụ thụ bất thân' / 男女授受不親. Meaning males and females shall not allow their hands to touch in giving or receiving anything (Mencius book IV part 1 Li Lau)
Thank you guys for sharing so much. I love learning and seeing the different cultures! ❤
Your "Huh?" Expression is so cute! Lol. Appreciate learning something new. 😂
This is so relatable! My wife is also Japanese and she tells me if I’m doing things that are incorrect or not appropriate to do in Japan. 😅
Would it be acceptable for a parent helping their young child or would it be offensive even then ?
@@sheriffzebedee一つのお皿を自由に取り合うのは大丈夫。一つの物を二つの箸でつまみ合うのはダメ。
Mine too lol. I love her so much!
@@sheriffzebedeeas long as the parent isn’t using chopsticks on the same food as the child at the same time it’s fine
It’s rude if 2 people are holding using chopsticks on 1 item at the same time
We can learn 2 different culture from this spouse.. 😊
Hehe yes!! We hope to share our journey and also differences!
Once again the mix of East Asian cultures and traditions so deeply rooted are just beautiful to observe
I wish we could remember the traditions and create our own traditions based on how we want our lives to progress.
You guys are awesome! Soooo appreciate your cultural perspectives!
"Help each other しないよ。"
I'm having joy in bilingual😂
I absolutely love how they always talk like this-especially her
Thanks for sharing your Japanese culture. This helps me interacting with Japanese friends respectfully.
Problems in society and communities arise out of this kinda stuff. Some cultures take shit wayyy too personally to the point where kindness is seen as evil or dangerous or offensive. Openness teaches us. Closedness tortures everybody
Shes looking at him like "My ancestors would have had you commit seppuku for such disrespect" 😂💀
It’s nice she explained and didn’t get angry or aggressive
Hopefully she don't this rules is already so dumb
That mmmm at the end showed a high level of disdain covered by practiced civility.
I’m Japanese and this is engrained so deeply in me that when I actually went to a funeral and had to pick up bones with chopsticks I forgot that we were actually ALLOWED to pass them directly from chopstick to chopstick lmao
Why are you all picking up bones after what I’m assuming is cremation?
@@xwarped83One of the most misunderstood Japanese funeral rituals is kotsuage. This is a cremation ritual with ties to both Buddhism and Shintoism, both common, intertwined belief systems in Japan. Funerals in Japan are no simple affair.
There are over 20 procedures included throughout the service and cremation. For outsiders, the concept of kotsuage might sound both heartbreaking and morbid. It’s important to keep in mind the Japanese attitude toward death. In Japan, people are very accepting and open about death. Ancestors are seen as protectors of the family, and the spiritual world is never far away. As such, this is simply another ritual to bring families together after the loss of a loved one.
Kotsuage is when the family gathers after the creation of a loved one to pick up the bones. When a body is cremated, fragments of the bone remain in the ash. In the west, these fragments are removed by the crematorium. Only the ashes are returned to the family.
In Japan, the practice of kotsuage allows the family to be a part of this process. They remove the bones with a special pair of long chopsticks. It’s also common for the bone fragments to be passed from chopsticks to chopsticks amongst family members.
It’s important for the family to pay attention closely during this process. First, the family witnesses the deceased being put into the crematorium chamber. They might use this time to say final goodbyes. When they return later, the remains have cooled. The family picks through the fragments starting at the feet and moving upwards.
The ashes and bones are placed into the urn starting with the feet so that the body is feet-down in the urn, like a natural human stance. Once this process is complete, the urn stays within the family’s shrine for anywhere from 30 to 50 days depending on the region of Japan. From there, it’s taken to a graveyard.
Kotsuage, like most of Japan’s traditions, has a long history within Japan. Kotsuage came about through the combination of Shinto and Buddhist practices. The native religion in Japan is Shinto. This is a collection of rituals and ways of doing things that have been passed down thousands of years.
Buddhist funeral rites came from outside of Japan. These traditions merged in the 1600s when all Japanese people were required to register with a local Buddhist temple. Still, Shinto and Buddhist traditions still exist together. While a Buddhist priest is usually used in Japanese funerals, many of these rituals still reflect the long Shinto tradition.
To this day, kotsuage is still used in many Japanese funerals. However, there are many special beliefs and local customs that change the way this ritual looks for different families. For the families that choose to do a kotsuage ritual after the death of a loved one, this is a way to connect with traditions from their ancestors of the past. Buddhist and Shinto funeral rites have survived in Japanese culture for thousands of years. Today, they’re a way for Japanese people to feel connected with their ancestors and community. Though it might sound grotesque to outsiders, this is a highly personal process for families. Through kotsuage or the sifting of the bones, families have an opportunity to pay final respects to the deceased.
Like all things in Japan, this is a symbolic practice. The living come face-to-face with the remains of the dead. In a culture where family is so essential to the community, it’s no surprise that family members are the ones who ensure the deceased reach their final resting place.
Though these family members are dead, the relationship is seen as living on. Kotsuage is just one part of this transition from a living person to a spiritual ancestor. The dead still have a strong presence in the lives of Japanese families, and this is just one of the many examples of that. Each family and local area has its own unique customs that might affect how they take part in this bone collecting ritual.
However, this short list below helps you understand what exactly happens during this part of the funeral process. From there, it’s up to the individual family. It exists as part of the elaborate funeral service, but it’s usually only open to close family to attend. The family stays to witness the body going into the crematorium, though they usually leave during this process. Though it might feel morbid, this is a highly emotional process for families. It’s a chance to say any final goodbyes before the next part of this funeral ceremony.
Cremation has a strong role in Buddhism. In this culture, cremation is the way to free the spirit from the body. It facilitates the journey to the next world. It’s a physical and symbolic transition into the next phase of existence.
In western culture, bones are reduced into fine ash during cremation. Any bones or foreign objects that aren’t reduced to ash are removed. This process is handled by the professionals at the crematorium, and the family only receives the ashes in an urn or bag at the end of the process.
Contrary to this, cremated bones are not reduced in size in Japan. They’re left large intentionally to strengthen the ritual nature of this practice. As such, some bones are quite large. A professional assists the family at the beginning of the kotsuage process, giving them an introduction to the bones in different sections of the remains. Then, the family is left to complete this process.
The family uses a special pair of chopsticks to sift through the bones of the deceased. This pair of chopsticks is not a perfect match because they’re made of two different woods to symbolize the separation between the world of the dead and the world of the living. It’s a metaphor for the coming together of these two worlds for this sacred practice.
The family members use these chopsticks to collect the ash and bone. For larger pieces of bones, it might take two sets of chopsticks or more to support them on their journey to the urn.
★ It’s a breach of social etiquette to pass food (or anything, really) between different sets of chopsticks, but an exception for "passing between chopsticks" or "touching something with two pairs of chopsticks" is made for this ritual, as this form of support and sharing is a way to honour the dead. However, many Japanese people believe the reverse: that a morsel of food is not touched with two pairs of chopsticks because only the dead's remains may be touched with two pairs of chopsticks. Many historians have noted that chopsticks were used when finding bones from the ashes of the dead because they didn't have gloves back then, and this was a way to avoid ritual and literal uncleanliness of the hands... so that only the dead are touched with two or more pairs of chopsticks at one time, so one should not do this to food or anything for the living, only for supporting the dead.
Not all bones are created equal. While care is given throughout the entire kotsuage process, some bones have greater significance than others. The most important bone is the thyroid bone in the neck. This bone in the neck resembles the shape of a seated Buddha, having a lot of significance within the tradition. This bone is also a symbol of the connection between the brain and the body.
Parents often encourage younger children to assist with this process as a way to bring good luck. By collecting bones from the head, for example, this is a way to encourage intelligence. This applies to the entire body.
The ashes and bones are transferred to an urn or multiple urns. While in the west most families only use one urn, it’s common for multiple urns to be used in Japan. This is because it’s important for these ashes to rest up to 50 days at the family’s shrine before they’re brought to the cemetery.
Because some families have multiple shrines, multiple urns are common. The ashes are distributed evenly amongst them, and they’ll go to different shines within the family.
This really get me know more about japan culture.thx
The Japanese strive to be so polite that instead of saying "Hey bro dont touch my food" they have this crazy ass reason
Her "HuH!?" Reminder me when i said something else in class that wasn't even related to the topic and my teacher did the exact same exrpession 😆
Here in the netherlands; we just do whats practical and makes sense.
Yes we have traditions too, but they don't impede reason.
Then, on the other hand, they don't enrich "reason." That's kinda sterile, isn't it?
@@paulb2092 wth is 'enriching reason' supposed to be in this context?
In the western countries they have their own dish to eat for each one, so no need to share or help each other with their meals. Also not hygienic moving/ peeling others meat with your own cutlery.
Within reason depends on what your personal reasoning happens to be. Culture develops from necessity. What seems practical to one culture might be completely impractical to another. Respect and learning from other cultures, while learning the reasoning behind actions is a wonderful thing.
And that's why everyone is super interested in Japanese culture, and nobody even thinks about the Netherlands
The reason so many people give me as to why they wouldn't move to japan, is that too many harmless things are considered "rude" in Japan
They’re usually really aware that foreign people don’t know though. Don’t worry.
I think it's only harmless because it's foreign to us. Growing up in the south, we have a few taboos that others in the US don't understand, as well. It's all about tolerance and learning.
@@ARochelleC05 What few taboos?
Too many? Anyway, it’s *so* easy to learn. Besides, you get a “foreigner pass”.
Exactly. Yet they'll eat a cows asshole and kill sharks for one damn fin. Snobs.
Oh! I didn't know that. Thank you for this information 🙂. Anyway you're so beautiful with wearing kimono, and super makeup and hairstyle 🥰💖✨
I would like to know about Japanese culture please do more videos it will be more interesting and helpful
I love how she mixes up languages
Ok will take note..tq for the info😮😮😮
Please spread more info like these!!!!
Both Malaysian and Japanese etiquette or something foreigners should be aware of
Thank you ❤
Picking up someone’s bones with chopsticks is crazy
I would never impose my culture too much on my other behalf like that just because he didnt know. I WOULD tell him, but i’ll just be chill and adapt to him too and would like him to continue to do what he wanted to do. ❤
Hashi watashiwa cracked me up 😂😂😂 I go through the same hurdles learning Japanese because some words have similar pronunciations but are completely different
Embrace each other difference. It's hard I know but it's a process of learning and acceptance. Just like my wife she always cook her hometown delicacy and the taste is a lil bit funny for me at first. Now I just readily accept it 😂
Yes! It's really important to take everything with an open mind. Just listen and understand as each culture has its own set of rules 😊 there's no right or wrong
Her voice so cute when she start speaking Japanese
"help eachother janai" 😂
Some people don’t like to share food or have utensils used by other people used on their food. My brother’s like that. It grosses him out
Her reflex automatic 😂
soo complicated....i am getting nervous going to japan now
It's okay, they will forgive you if they know you are a foreigner
I learned about this from my Taiwan friend 🙏🙏
Her instant reaction was so real when crossing a cutural taboo
In dim sum, the waiter would cut the food in half with a scissors if they are too big. For some unknown reason, they never truly cut them thoroughly with tiny bit of the food still connected. It is common for another person to hold one side of the food with their chopsticks so that you can tear it with yours
You're lucky he use chopsticks... in malaysia... we use fingers 😅
Very respectful couple 😊😊😊😊😮😮😮😮🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤
😮🙏 OMG! Many didn't know that! Also never put chopsticks standing in the cooked rice as it symbolizing making offerings to the Departed! Thank You So Much Arisa for the Japanese etiqutte 101 lesson! 🙏 Arigato Gozaimasu! 🌷🌿🍎🍊🌏✌💜🕊🇲🇾🇯🇵
Yes yes! That's a huge no no too! Hope I can share a little bit more about Japanese culture in the future
Sometimes I feel culture gets in the way of simple stuff...respect though
It's amazing how much food etiquette in Japan is based around death and superstitions.
Just keep your things/hands/shit to yourself. You will never offend anybody around the world no matter where you go. *Golden tip*
Nah, it's just different cultures, nothing wrong helping someone, especially in your own country
@@megaplayer5201 There's nothing wrong with helping someone. But it's best to ask first before just diving right in and doing whatever you please. Regardless of if you have good intentions.
I would have got quite ticked off if someone did this with me.
This is rude anywhere. I mean, we don't help each other peel chicken or poke in another's plate in the EU either. Only small kids we help if needed.
In usa, its called first come first serve
not when it's on another person's plate 😭😭
@@Anonymous-vtauoytrtfocgabp it still works, after getting smacked. Its worth it 😎
In many countries this would be impolite. For reasons of hygiene, you also have your own plates and ladles so that you don't touch other people's food with your own cutlery.
I've lived in Japan and this is sort of like the "no elbows on the table" rule- it's only really enforced by older or more up tight people. I saw young people and workers do it all the time.
The rest of the world helps each other, Japan just says we suck and it’s your fault that we suck.
How many things I have to learn from your culture❤❤
Suddenly I hear Kiryu singing "Dame dame.. " 😂
In my opinion you just don't stick your utensils in other peoples food unless they say the words "yes please" when offered help
I'm slowly collecting a plethora of rude things to do in Japan before I go there on holiday...😂😅😂
She said "dame dame" I thought we gonna burst into singing.
Good lesson...didnt know that. Thanx fr sharing this info..
She's beautiful and when she mixed her language looks alluring.
Borderline creepy comment.
She's absolutely gorgeous
Kai needs to see this😂
Definitely Japanese thing. In Vietnam we also help out each other when picking up food (meat, fish, veggie) like this, mostly by family members. That's the "sense of community", if I may say so myself. Since we use the same dishes for the food for all people in the table anyway. Only the bowls of rice are personal.
This reminds me of that one joke that this one Asian comedian made, a Japanese wife will always smile but when you're sick she'll push you into a river or something like that meanwhile Chinese wife will always scream at you but when you're sick she'll nurse you back to good health
This shows that asian cultures can be very different and complicated, that even another 'asian' from a different region may not fully understand all the local customs. Something seemingly polite may come off as rude if your form is wrong.
She looks like huaein from meet me at the blossom drama.❤❤
She is so gorgeous!
Ari lookin' so gorgeous!
Meanwhile here in Germany, either you get told to be too dumb for doing it yourself or someone asks if your knife was dull and maybe ask if you want to try their knife or (mostly by children) your mom/dad will help out (not so much if it's friends) and in a restaurant, if its not working than people sometimes (not often) may ask the staff for a solution to their problem
Good thing to know when you're going to japan
pitch just instantly gets higher when speaking full Japanese.
She had such a visceral reaction to you touching her chicken 😂
I respect Japanese. But i also dont allow that uptightness to be around me....... its just painful to know how restrictive they make themselves and the lack of constant enjoyment. I mean live and be productive but find balance.......
Reminded of Niki from Enhypen
Every Japaneses* included Niki❤😂
I swear half of Japanese culture videos are "don't do this cause it's rude"
I can't imagine seeing someone from Japan seeing my country family eat porkchops with our hands!😂
She got the "the next stop shibuya station"
I love how we all referencing ni-ki from enhypen
Japan has a huge amount of socal rules. I find it Intresting and rich. ❤🇯🇵
Nice tip! You guys are so cute together... 😊
I was waiting for a " yamite kudusai " but she said "watashi janai "
My japanese friend doesn't care, and another felt it was taboo. Ask and adapt, everyone is different!
she reminds to an anime character ❤ so gorgeous!!!