thank you all for your lovely comments! healing and learning is a long process, but i've recently been officially diagnosed with autism! so, things are certainly looking up
Stranger to this channel as well. Do not know how how it came up on my feed. If you feel burn out. Try shifting the streaming into a hobby and when it's fun for ya. Not as a mandatory task
I don't know why your video was recommended to me, but you describe exactly how I feel every single day. I'm 56 and I've been like this for my entire life. I hope, as you're so young and obviously intelligent and self aware, that you learn to live a fulfilling life despite the challenges you face.
I am a total stranger to your channel. Depression does basically all the things you described during your video. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend if they were going through this. You'd be patient with them, you'd be forgiving, you'd be happy to wait, you'd encourage them to be kind to themselves, you'd tell them what they're able or want to do is all they have to do. Your feeling that you're disappointing your friends is the depression talking, especially if they know you have depression, they understand, and are ok with waiting for you to be ready to reach out. It's ok. If they're NOT ok waiting, the trash is taking itself out, and you have one less person who doesn't deserve your emotional energy. Depression can take the joy away from activities you used to enjoy, such as streaming. It's ok to stop doing it if you're not enjoying it. Depression can make you feel like the loss of views is "your fault." Be kind to yourself. The lethargy you describe is also a normal thing with depression. Try not to let yourself fully isolate yourself, even though it's hard to get out and see people. Total isolation can do some wacky things. Not following through (like with the on the autism assessment) can be depression as well. It's fine. You have time to get it dealt with :) I found it helpful to assess whether a thought is "mine" or something my depression is saying. You may or may not find that useful, but I thought I'd offer it. I hope you'll pardon all the absolutely unsolicited advice of a person wholly new to your channel. I mean it in love, I've struggled with depression my whole life, so it's really really easy for me to relate things back into it. You are "enough." You're not disappointing people that matter. You're doing your best, even when you're not doing anything at all, and your best is all you EVER needed to do. TOTALLY wildly unrelated, but you've got the same facial cast as most of my friends with a condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). I just couldn't unsee it. You don't necessarily have it, obviously, you described none of the symptoms in this video, I just kept seeing us. So, fun fact, I guess, look it up, it's not as "rare" as they used to think it was, and awareness is a good thing. Maybe you know someone with the symptoms it will help someday. All my best wishes, absolutely all of them. I'm not your regular audience, but all the people who love you want you to be happy, and if streaming isn't making you happy, by all means stop until/if you ever actually want to again. And thank you for listening to yourself and accepting you don't want to, instead of just forcing yourself to keep going even when you didn't enjoy it the same way anymore. Whatever you want to do will be "good enough." They came for you, it's fine.
@@annedavis3340 i really appreciate your comment! i have been struggling with depression for a very long time - but even so, recognising it and being patient with myself is completely new. luckily the meds i have help a little, but obviously depression sticks, and won't go away. but yes, thank you for your advice and i'll definitely take into consideration! and, about the EDS thing - the only symptom i have is that i bruise easily, specifically my limbs. but other than that, i have no stretchy skin or flexible joins - matter of fact, i'm completely opposite LOL. i struggle very bad with mobility at times rip.
@@MerakiulaArchive my pleasure. It's really hard to realize what things are caused BY depression, especially if you're the person going through it. You can't get enough emotional distance to see the connection sometimes. And everything feels so genuinely like it's YOU feeling it, not that it's a chemical imbalance causing an effect. I repeat to myself that this is a chemical imbalance. And there are little-known symptoms, too, procrastination, not feeling like being with friends cause even existing near people who love you feels daunting, reluctance to go places, etc. Depression can ease, you won't necessarily always feel like you do today. It can flare and fade. I am glad you've found a med that helps, the first like 9 I tried I felt no change at all, then they put me on one and I was FINE in two weeks. Absolutely wild what a change the right med can make. I was almost angry at how ok I felt because it was upsetting how long I could have felt fine if we'd tried it earlier. If you haven't pursued therapy I hope you'll consider it, it can be enormously beneficial if you have a good fit with your therapist. There are charities that offer it at a sliding scale for people who can't pay the typical flat rate for it, if you're not in a country that just provides it. One of the symptoms of depression is literally not feeling like seeking help. And about the EDS, I have mobility issues because of it, they're pretty common! OBVIOUSLY still not saying you've got it. But for real thanks for checking it out, we've been trying to raise awareness, and that awareness is getting people diagnosed and the help they need. Thank you for learning a bit about it.
This is recommended to me and I have no idea who you are but it was for a reason. You need to listen to me - 1) do not apologise for not doing something for someone (ie streaming for people) when you do not enjoy it. You don’t need to say sorry. Your feelings are valid and do not require explanation. Saying no does suffice. 2) take all the time you need. I am 34 next month and was diagnosed with autism and adhd last July. The minute I started my meds for adhd it’s amazing - life did a 180 and I can think clear thoughts and follow routines. Stick to it dear - you will get there! I promise it will get better ❤ 3) STAY STRONG do not ever give up ❤ Sending positive energy and love to you.
Hey Raki, im so sorry about your Condition.. Taking a Break or stopping Streaming for a while is Okay take your Time King! I really enjoyed our Time Together, you were one of my favourite Streamers because you were so energetic and funny. Again im so Sorry about your Condition and i hope your Condition gets better.. 💙 - Jay
We love you and your Choonky dog Raki. No matter what happens i can say i will always be here. Even if you stop streaming I've enjoyed our time together and I'm glad I found you when I did, you've really helped me and I hope you can get all the help you need. Please remember to eat and drink water and take any meds you need to. Like I said you've really helped me and a lot of other people and you should be proud of yourself for that. We love you and Ruby ♡
thank you, cherry! it's been lovely to have you, and you will always have a special place with me and any streams in the future, you're welcome anytime
im a total stranger but i just wanted to say, please give yourself grace. your hobbies are things you enjoy, if you don’t enjoy something anymore, its okay to not keep it as a hobby, or to keep it on the back burner for a while until you feel better. chase your passion and please never apologize for not enjoying something anymore. i have depression and anxiety, and recently got put on zoloft for them, just like you. ive been where youre at and i completely understand the way youre feeling. if you struggle with tiredness with the meds, try taking them at night! i recently had to make that switch because it was making me so tired in the middle of the day. ive felt like my friends would forget me, especially when i had a hard time connecting with them. the guilt i feel when i return from having those hard times is almost impossible to bear. remember that you deserve to have friends, and you deserve to find ways to interact with those you care about that work for you. i hope that things get better for you soon and please take care! take this as your reminder to drink some water 💙
thank you!! hopefully streaming will come back into my life as something i enjoy, because at the end of the day i did enjoy it - it was just taking such a toll on me, which then took the fun out of it, if that makes sense? and yea! i tried switching up my meds, and the tiredness didn't go away. i believe the tiredness might just be autistic burnout haha! thank you so much for your advice and comment! take care, stranger! get some water yourself
Wow, I just watched this video in its entirety and I have a few things to say: Firstly, I just wanted to say sorry for all the pain you've been going through. I hope that you manage to sort things out and that you can do what you want to do. Take time and don't try to rush everything, remember to take care of yourself. People care about you, and looking after yourself is more important than streaming or anything else. I never really watched your streams that often, and I know we were never really friends, but I can assure you that I care about your wellbeing and also I think you're a cool person :) Take time to heal and do whatever you feel is best for you. I've dealt with a lot of the issues that you described here myself, and whereas I can't entirely put myself in your position, I can at least empathise. I'm sure you can become successful one day and I hope you work things out and that you'll be on the road to success soon. I believe in you and I believe that if you're good, good things will happen to you. I know this probably sounds cliché af but it's the truth. You've probably heard it a million times but I can assure you it's for a good reason. I wish the best of luck your way because you deserve it after all the effort you've committed to in the past :) You'll get good things soon, I'm sure, but you just need to give it time to find yourself if that makes sense. Take as much time as you need. Learn about yourself and find what works best for you. Don't ever give up on yourself because there are people who care about you and will be there for you if you need them. I wish you the very best of luck with everything, and I really mean that. :) -also, your dog is cute and this video is really well executed :)
@@MerakiulaArchive The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. Now I've gone into a bit of a decline.
![the trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool ✧.* [ VOD - 08/22/24 ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/HfTP82ElfGU/mqdefault.jpg)
thank you all for your lovely comments! healing and learning is a long process, but i've recently been officially diagnosed with autism! so, things are certainly looking up
Congrats on the diagnosis, I wish the best of luck for you!
Stranger to this channel as well. Do not know how how it came up on my feed.
If you feel burn out. Try shifting the streaming into a hobby and when it's fun for ya. Not as a mandatory task
yeah, i've tried to before! there's just something about it just not being fulfilling for me :D
I don't know why your video was recommended to me, but you describe exactly how I feel every single day. I'm 56 and I've been like this for my entire life. I hope, as you're so young and obviously intelligent and self aware, that you learn to live a fulfilling life despite the challenges you face.
i sure hope that it will be that way! thank you for your comment
I am a total stranger to your channel.
Depression does basically all the things you described during your video. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend if they were going through this. You'd be patient with them, you'd be forgiving, you'd be happy to wait, you'd encourage them to be kind to themselves, you'd tell them what they're able or want to do is all they have to do.
Your feeling that you're disappointing your friends is the depression talking, especially if they know you have depression, they understand, and are ok with waiting for you to be ready to reach out. It's ok. If they're NOT ok waiting, the trash is taking itself out, and you have one less person who doesn't deserve your emotional energy.
Depression can take the joy away from activities you used to enjoy, such as streaming. It's ok to stop doing it if you're not enjoying it.
Depression can make you feel like the loss of views is "your fault." Be kind to yourself.
The lethargy you describe is also a normal thing with depression.
Try not to let yourself fully isolate yourself, even though it's hard to get out and see people. Total isolation can do some wacky things.
Not following through (like with the on the autism assessment) can be depression as well. It's fine. You have time to get it dealt with :)
I found it helpful to assess whether a thought is "mine" or something my depression is saying. You may or may not find that useful, but I thought I'd offer it.
I hope you'll pardon all the absolutely unsolicited advice of a person wholly new to your channel. I mean it in love, I've struggled with depression my whole life, so it's really really easy for me to relate things back into it.
You are "enough." You're not disappointing people that matter. You're doing your best, even when you're not doing anything at all, and your best is all you EVER needed to do.
TOTALLY wildly unrelated, but you've got the same facial cast as most of my friends with a condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). I just couldn't unsee it. You don't necessarily have it, obviously, you described none of the symptoms in this video, I just kept seeing us. So, fun fact, I guess, look it up, it's not as "rare" as they used to think it was, and awareness is a good thing. Maybe you know someone with the symptoms it will help someday.
All my best wishes, absolutely all of them. I'm not your regular audience, but all the people who love you want you to be happy, and if streaming isn't making you happy, by all means stop until/if you ever actually want to again. And thank you for listening to yourself and accepting you don't want to, instead of just forcing yourself to keep going even when you didn't enjoy it the same way anymore. Whatever you want to do will be "good enough." They came for you, it's fine.
@@annedavis3340 i really appreciate your comment! i have been struggling with depression for a very long time - but even so, recognising it and being patient with myself is completely new.
luckily the meds i have help a little, but obviously depression sticks, and won't go away.
but yes, thank you for your advice and i'll definitely take into consideration! and, about the EDS thing - the only symptom i have is that i bruise easily, specifically my limbs. but other than that, i have no stretchy skin or flexible joins - matter of fact, i'm completely opposite LOL. i struggle very bad with mobility at times rip.
@@MerakiulaArchive my pleasure. It's really hard to realize what things are caused BY depression, especially if you're the person going through it. You can't get enough emotional distance to see the connection sometimes. And everything feels so genuinely like it's YOU feeling it, not that it's a chemical imbalance causing an effect.
I repeat to myself that this is a chemical imbalance.
And there are little-known symptoms, too, procrastination, not feeling like being with friends cause even existing near people who love you feels daunting, reluctance to go places, etc.
Depression can ease, you won't necessarily always feel like you do today. It can flare and fade. I am glad you've found a med that helps, the first like 9 I tried I felt no change at all, then they put me on one and I was FINE in two weeks. Absolutely wild what a change the right med can make. I was almost angry at how ok I felt because it was upsetting how long I could have felt fine if we'd tried it earlier.
If you haven't pursued therapy I hope you'll consider it, it can be enormously beneficial if you have a good fit with your therapist. There are charities that offer it at a sliding scale for people who can't pay the typical flat rate for it, if you're not in a country that just provides it. One of the symptoms of depression is literally not feeling like seeking help.
And about the EDS, I have mobility issues because of it, they're pretty common! OBVIOUSLY still not saying you've got it. But for real thanks for checking it out, we've been trying to raise awareness, and that awareness is getting people diagnosed and the help they need. Thank you for learning a bit about it.
This is recommended to me and I have no idea who you are but it was for a reason. You need to listen to me -
1) do not apologise for not doing something for someone (ie streaming for people) when you do not enjoy it. You don’t need to say sorry. Your feelings are valid and do not require explanation.
Saying no does suffice.
2) take all the time you need. I am 34 next month and was diagnosed with autism and adhd last July. The minute I started my meds for adhd it’s amazing - life did a 180 and I can think clear thoughts and follow routines.
Stick to it dear - you will get there! I promise it will get better ❤
3) STAY STRONG do not ever give up ❤
Sending positive energy and love to you.
thank you for your comment
Hey..you just showed up in my feed and you seem like a lovely human. Do what you need to do to keep yourself happy. ❤
thank you!!
Hey Raki, im so sorry about your Condition.. Taking a Break or stopping Streaming for a while is Okay take your Time King! I really enjoyed our Time Together, you were one of my favourite Streamers because you were so energetic and funny. Again im so Sorry about your Condition and i hope your Condition gets better.. 💙 - Jay
We love you and your Choonky dog Raki. No matter what happens i can say i will always be here. Even if you stop streaming I've enjoyed our time together and I'm glad I found you when I did, you've really helped me and I hope you can get all the help you need. Please remember to eat and drink water and take any meds you need to. Like I said you've really helped me and a lot of other people and you should be proud of yourself for that. We love you and Ruby ♡
thank you, cherry! it's been lovely to have you, and you will always have a special place with me and any streams in the future, you're welcome anytime
im a total stranger but i just wanted to say, please give yourself grace.
your hobbies are things you enjoy, if you don’t enjoy something anymore, its okay to not keep it as a hobby, or to keep it on the back burner for a while until you feel better. chase your passion and please never apologize for not enjoying something anymore.
i have depression and anxiety, and recently got put on zoloft for them, just like you. ive been where youre at and i completely understand the way youre feeling. if you struggle with tiredness with the meds, try taking them at night! i recently had to make that switch because it was making me so tired in the middle of the day.
ive felt like my friends would forget me, especially when i had a hard time connecting with them. the guilt i feel when i return from having those hard times is almost impossible to bear. remember that you deserve to have friends, and you deserve to find ways to interact with those you care about that work for you.
i hope that things get better for you soon and please take care! take this as your reminder to drink some water 💙
thank you!! hopefully streaming will come back into my life as something i enjoy, because at the end of the day i did enjoy it - it was just taking such a toll on me, which then took the fun out of it, if that makes sense?
and yea! i tried switching up my meds, and the tiredness didn't go away. i believe the tiredness might just be autistic burnout haha!
thank you so much for your advice and comment! take care, stranger! get some water yourself
Meraki its okay we are here for you and its okay if you dont stream
Wow, I just watched this video in its entirety and I have a few things to say:
Firstly, I just wanted to say sorry for all the pain you've been going through. I hope that you manage to sort things out and that you can do what you want to do. Take time and don't try to rush everything, remember to take care of yourself. People care about you, and looking after yourself is more important than streaming or anything else.
I never really watched your streams that often, and I know we were never really friends, but I can assure you that I care about your wellbeing and also I think you're a cool person :)
Take time to heal and do whatever you feel is best for you.
I've dealt with a lot of the issues that you described here myself, and whereas I can't entirely put myself in your position, I can at least empathise.
I'm sure you can become successful one day and I hope you work things out and that you'll be on the road to success soon. I believe in you and I believe that if you're good, good things will happen to you.
I know this probably sounds cliché af but it's the truth. You've probably heard it a million times but I can assure you it's for a good reason.
I wish the best of luck your way because you deserve it after all the effort you've committed to in the past :)
You'll get good things soon, I'm sure, but you just need to give it time to find yourself if that makes sense. Take as much time as you need. Learn about yourself and find what works best for you. Don't ever give up on yourself because there are people who care about you and will be there for you if you need them.
I wish you the very best of luck with everything, and I really mean that. :)
-also, your dog is cute and this video is really well executed :)
🩵
Get lost.
? are you okay
@@MerakiulaArchive The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. Now I've gone into a bit of a decline.
@@AntiEstablishmentRhetorician okay?
@@MerakiulaArchive My capacity for happiness you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.
@@AntiEstablishmentRhetorician 👍