My nest emptied 20 years ago, so I’ve had more than enough time to adjust, but it took me the better part of 6 months to stop moping around and feeling like I was dealing with a huge loss. My feelings were definitely conflicted because I was so happy for my kids doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing and having a great time. But, I missed being a full time mom so much and I had a constant ache in my belly. We had our kids early on in our marriage, too, so we didn’t have a lot of time as just a couple, so we decided to start doing things we.never did together. We bought bikes, we went on short getaways every few months, I bought some new furniture and started sprucing up the house. Like every other stage in life, I finally eased into it and found new purpose in life. My boys never returned home to live and I’m so proud of them for taking the responsibility for themselves. We’re always there to help, but they wanted to be independent. So hang in there. As far as the MKAL people that ranted and raged about having to switch patterns or who refused to do so, I have no patience for that. If something is painful to someone else, even if you don’t feel it, find some empathy within yourself to be understanding and reflect on the Golden Rule: Act towards others as you would want them to act towards you. Clearly, Stephen had much more invested in this pattern than any knitter out there, and he never hesitated. Let’s all emulate his kindness and desire to include everyone. Enjoy Rhinebeck and find time to restore yourself……you deserve it!
I know, I felt a bit of that when my only child moved out. But I do think it's important for them to know you're proud that they're moving on and you're still there for them. It's a time to return back to yourself- remember were a full complete person before you had kids. You'll end up growing as a person and will no doubt make new discoveries. I really got into knitting when I went through it and it's been such a comfort and delight 😊
I am so glad i found your channel. You are hilarious, and honest, and real. I'm with you with the empty nest! My kids have been gone for eight and ten years and it's finally getting better. It took a long time for me. Okay, enough commenting. Back to the video. 😊
I am divorced and single momed it with my son since he was 2. He was involved in so many things in high school and my life revolved around going to band, orchestra, swimming, scouting, and one act play events. I was lost when he went to college. Luckily I was introduced to a local Ravelry group and soon my life was about knitting. We stayed close as he went to college 30 minutes away. The real shift for me came when he got married. Then ,as it should be, his wife was the most important person in his life. I could no longer call him whenever I wanted. I eventually adjusted and now I see them once or twice a week. I have the most wonderful grandkids and life is good. Give yourself time to grieve the loss and try to keep busy with friends. I started the Westknits MKAL and began clue one with excitement. I failed to see the resemblance until it was pointed out to me. I did not like the garter stitch in the round so I am holding off until I see the final clue. I admire Stephen West for his stance on the issue. He has truly made the best of a bad situation.
Bravo!!! We live in such a crazy hate filled world that I applaud Stephen for his sensitivity, I applaud you for re starting. I applaud your rant, and agree. I work where I deal with all kinds of people that come in. I shake my head every shift over some people's attitudes! So Bravo!
Thank you for your podcast. Your yarn is beautiful! Loved the sweater photo from Rhinebeck. I’m empty-nesting too. My son is on the other side of the world in the Marine Corps. The house does have a strange and quiet feel these days. Hang in there!!
Empty Nesting?? I got through it by getting a big ass tea towel, draped it over my shoulder, and bawled my eyes out for 8 months!! It worked! Now Im all good. :) The sad feelings will pass. One day you will wake up from the dark cloud, and your children and you will have the most amazing relationship. A whole new, different chapter. Still tons of love. Just different. Good luck friend xo.
Empty nesting is no joke. I’m about 1.5 years out and it’s definitely better but that first year was hard AF. I also lost my mom right as my last left the house. Therapy helped. Hugs to you and your husband. ❤
The empty nest…when my eldest went to college there was a real feeling of loss-still had 3 at home. Things got complicated. Communication is key, your feelings are real and they count.
Absolutely understand the empty nest feelings. I also grieved when my eldest left for university. It is truly a grieving process and takes time. No quick fixes that I am aware of other than the same self care you would turn to in other hard times. Maybe plan that trip to Paris you and Dave can enjoy after his knee surgery ?
When our first child left (our son) he went into the military like my husband several months later he was heading to Iraq 😕that was a horror beyond a horror. Watching my husband go dangerous places was one thing I nearly died when our son went that followed 1 more tour to Iraq and then Afghanistan. To this day I’m unsure how I made it though. Then our daughters to college and marriage empty nesting was hard but I found my husband again sappy as that sounds he’s always been my rock. Now I’m watching you with our 9 year old granddaughter in the next room (we have 5 grandchildren) she’s sleeping over at her nanny’s house. Each season of life brings heartaches and profound joy. My advice (as an old ER nurse married to a firefighter) is find your happiness in everyday!, believe me!! I’m going to Rhinebeck Saturday for the first time so excited!!! I knit the Arboreal I hope to see you to say hi.
Empty nesting is truly a huge transition in our lives! Personally and professionally, I think the pain comes from the physical loss of your children moving out but emotional because you lose a very important role (motherhood) that existed for 18 or so years. As a psychotherapist and mother, I think we have to feel this loss as we seek to find another role that fills our soul giving us a similar feeling. For some people, it is creativity, for others it is helping others, some people finally begin to give to themselves what they couldn’t while they raised children ( start a business, go back to school, apply for a job you’ve always wanted). Gina, it is hard and it is a transition. That feeling you discussed about relating to your child as an adult helps enormously. But it takes time to mourn your lost role and seek a new one that gives you a sense of passion and joy.❤
'just a post menopausal girl that likes to knit'! LOVE THIS!!!! You always rock! I hope to make it to Rhinebeck some day!!! You all are lucky to be East Coasters....so many fiber shows! Sweater is beautiful. The transition when your child grows up is very hard as a Mom. I totally get ya!
Hi Gina - first off want to thank you for always being so authentic; I’m a fellow introvert and your “musings” really resonate with me. I’ve never had children so can’t relate to being an empty nester but will share with you something you’d shared awhile ago that helped me reconcile with the death of a loved one. I started watching TH-cam videos of near death experiences and was amazed at how much better I started feeling. Maybe there are similar videos on empty nest coping strategies? I also share your feelings about the MKAL especially in light of what’s now going on in the Middle East but my admiration for Stephen West has grown 1000 fold - what a class act! I hope you have a fantastic time at Rhinebeck and can’t wait to see your footage.
Gina, my heart goes out to your empty nestedness. ❣️ I have five amazing children, now ranging in age from 28 to turning 44 in a few days. 😱 When my first went off to college, she was only about 40 miles away, and my son was only two years old, but it was still hard. I remember being angry at my husband for crying in front of her when we dropped her off at school because I stayed brave and did NOT cry in front of her because I was afraid that would make her upset. Then two years later, my second daughter went off to college twelve hours away, and I would sit at the computer daily, crying, IMing with them. (This was in 2003, before they had cell phones and much in the way of texting.) And I still had three children at home with me! You would think I'd have been too busy to miss them! But, no! I missed them terribly! It is EXTREMELY difficult to let them go, especially if, as it was for me, being a MOM was your entire identity. Then there was the graduating from college and moving out for each of them...luckily, because the last two kids were seven years apart, it was more gradual, and for a while, my son was like an only child. Then it was time for him to go off to college, five hours away. My husband was battling stage four cancer, and we knew the end was coming. It came at Thanksgiving of my son's freshman year of college. I had married at 19, and now, at 60, I was totally alone for the first time ever. Luckily, I was kept busy with getting the house ready to sell and finding a new place to live. I adjusted to being alone most of the time, my son coming home from college for summers, and then he graduated from college. Thankfully, he moved back home for a while before moving out to live with friends in the city (Chicago). My four daughters are all moms themselves ( I have six grandchildren!) and live within 45 minutes of me, but their lives are busy and I don't want to be that needy widowed mom bothering them. My son moved to NYC last year to be with his girlfriend, but luckily travels a ton for work and gets to come back for visits quite a few times a year. I am happy that they are all wonderfully functioning adults, and I have gradually immersed myself in the knitting world and am lucky to have an amazing group of local knitting friends. It takes a long time, but now I am in the place where I enjoy being alone and doing and eating and watching whatever I want, when I want to! I hope that you will eventually come to be in that place as well. ❣️But it will probably take a while. 😥 Hugs.
Gina, you tell it like it is! I don't know about you but when we decided to start a family I was in a career that I loved but retired to stay home and raise the kids. Parenting was so foreign to me and boy, what a transition. I see empty nesting in a similar way although, full disclosure, my 20 and 22 year old left and are now both back living at home. That's a conversation for another podcast! No to Rheinbeck, too many people and your sweater is GORGEOUS!
When I had an empty nest I started fostering kittens. This gave me something else to mother and actually takes a lot of time. Now that I am through the other side, it gets easier. You kids become a pleasure to watch them as adults making their own lives. But it is really difficult when you are in the middle of it.
The empty nest is real and hard. My husband and I both felt it. I think you just have to grieve a season of life is over and celebrate the new one that is in front of you. Be kind to yourself it takes time. You and Dave will find a new rhythm. I started the WestKnitMKAL and was willing to shift gears, but the negativity turned me off. I didn't see the hate symbol, but I would like to honor Stephen's request. It is his design. I put it in time out and will go back to the new version eventually.
Oh I feel you! I have 5 kids and you - like I are in the difficult season. Hang in there - hope you give yourself permission to give to you after giving so much to your family. ❤ hope to see you on the hill :).
I like your approach to keeping it pleasurable. I find that sewn bind off to be quite onerous too. Your antique flora sweater is beautiful. I appreciate your honesty.
I’m not doing the SW Mkal but I did watch his video on the switch of clue one. All I can say is my heart went out to him as he was trying to correct the mistake, and it truly was a mistake. We’re only human and we do need to learn to move on… Anyway regarding the empty nest thing, yes I felt a lot of those feelings especially with my daughter. And it stayed with me for a long time. It’s been 17yrs now. One thing you can feel good about is that you have the capacity to love. Not every mother possess’s that. My mother didn’t have. You are much richer for it. And your children can use that as a springboard for self confidence, as they seem to have done because they’re basically independent. You’ve contributed to the world in the best possible way. You can continue to watch them if only from a distance and feel satisfied with a job well done 👏👏
I’m doing the knit along, I have done them for years. When I saw the first part my immediate thought was - I’m not knitting that. It did not hurt me but all I could see was a symbol for hate . I was then busy for the rest of the day, not knowing how I was going to start my shawl. However, by the end of the first day, Steven had posted an alternative. I feel very bad about the situation but I think it was handled in the best way possible with sincerity and real concern for not causing harm.
Lovely seeing you and your update. Glad you pushed through despite the background situations. My kids are the same age as yours. We’re also feeling that empty nest situation, even with one still sleeping here daily. It’s such an eye opening situation as you said! My husband too is struggling through it. Thankful for knitting. Enjoy Rhinebeck. I hope to be there next year!!
Can't wait to see your sweaters live at Rhinebeck. I'm sorry that you are feeling so blue about empty nesting. Our house has been an empty nest for a while and I started to call myself a "Bird Launcher". I miss them, but love watching them thrive. Maybe it will come to you in time. xo Kim
Hi! I can’t wait to see you in person next week! 😍 ya. Emory nesting is the worst. All I can say is it does get better but it takes some time. 😔 and re Stephen. I just wanted to reach through my computer and give him a hug. I can’t even imagine how stressful that was for him! 😟 see you soooooooooon! 😍🩷
I just love your podcast. You are so frank that you have me smiling all the time. It was interesting to hear about your West knit Mkal. I have never done it before and plan on giving it a try next year. Oh, the pain of recording more than once. I know it well. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering from an empty nest. I have bad days with this too. Sending virtual hugs your way. 🥰
Empty nest is real. And you kinda relive it again as your grandkids grow older and get jobs and go away to school. This past year, within 13 months we lost my father-in-law, mother, and then mother-in-law. It’s one of the the hardest things we’ve ever had to go through. I find you have to find your happy. Some days I’m an introvert and others I know I need to get out and see ppl. Lots of walks, good food, plenty of sleep, staying hydrated, praying , friends and of course knitting, go a long way. I guess I’m saying, stay busy and healthy lol. Hang in there. Thanks for your great podcasts.
Empty nesting is definitely like a death. It is the end of an era- the era of raising children and having a full house. It is an era that has been a long one- at least 18 years, or longer, if you have older children. I had five children over 14 years, so when my last child moved out at 20, I had been parenting for 34 years. It had been a huge part of my identity. When Alli moved out, I was living alone for the first time in my life, as my husband and I had divorced 3 years earlier. Now THAT was an interesting transition. So yes, it is normal to grieve the loss of a role that was huge in your life and for most of us, the most important role of our lives. Some people celebrate and are thrilled with an empty nest, while others of us struggle for a while. Be gentle with yourself. Eventually, you will move through this phase and adjust to a new phase and your relationships with your adult children will evolve and be wonderful. You may even decide to fill your nest again (just kidding) and your kids may return home for a while, but it is never the same as before they moved out. Transitions can be really hard but transformation will happen and I wonder what great experiences lie ahead for you. 💜
I am doing the west knits MKAL. I was upset for a day after he changed it, not because he switched gears but because I had come up with a modification that corrected it, keep the celtic knot and had knit half of it....but that wasn't good enough. I had to either frog it and start over or not post photos of my corrected clue one version 1.5 (.5 for the modifications I made). I let it go by the next day, but it took me several more days away from it to reset, frog and start over. Still on clue one now but I have added tons of beads. I think that most people who are still knitting the first version of clue one have modified it so it does not resemble the symbol and they just like it better than squares.
After my son moved out of the house, I grieved for a few months. I had to reframe by looking at it as an adventure of looking at who I was without the label “ mother”. It made me more curious about myself instead of feeling like I had lost someone. I’m a great fan of dealing with “what is” rather than how I want things to be so I think it made it all a bit easier.
I went back to school, became a Master Esthetician, and am now working on getting my certification in Massage Therapy. It keeps me caring for people, yet I get to take care of myself at night. Good Luck! Keep us up to date on how you’re doing with empty nesting!
Hi there, Gina, My husband and I cried all the way home (a 6-hour drive) after dropping our youngest child off in her dorm room for the first time. And this is a man who didn't want kids! LOL Everyone is different in how they respond and from what you said our solutions may sound outrageous to you, but here goes: Once we got home, we got back in the car and drove from San Francisco to Lake Louise in Canada. No reservations. No plans. It was so healing, freeing, and yes confusing to have no one to pick up at soccer practice or take to dance practice. But we turned the sad empty nest feeling into one of freedom. Next, we applied for volunteer overseas work and ended up working in an orphanage in Bangkok. Dramatic? Maybe. But it worked. You'll find your smile. Deborah
In all seriousness I went to counseling. It was so hard and you are right, you are grieving and it’s a process. I feel for you and all of your listeners in the same phase. Knit more, keep busy and go out with girlfriends. Take care of you!
My daughter moved to another state over the summer. I miss her terribly. I find my cats help, but nothing takes the pain away. I bought the Steven West MKAL, but, Luckily, I was late starting it. That center square does not look like fun so I was contemplating not doing it all. I just saw the second clue so I might cast on soon.
We have five kids and our oldest son was 17 when our youngest son was born, so our family size at home slowly decreased. The house stayed cleaner and we had more money as we had less people in the house. It’s wonderful to visit all of them and it’s wonderful to have them all visit too. I have missed seeing them all the time but FaceTime and texting helps a lot!
Not going to Rhinebeck but.same weekend the festival in Fletcher NC and I did knit a sweater for it. I experienced empty nest my husband and I started a hobby of RVing took a few years but we live it
I feel you on the empty nesting. I’m 3 weeks into my daughter moving to college, and my son is a high school junior with a full sports and social schedule. I have been very wistful about the kids when they were young, and I feel like I want to go visit my daughter NOW! I do have my first trip to Rhinebeck to look forward to, so I will probably spot you there. I’ve continued to throw myself into my knitting and spinning, but other than that I hope I can stay relatively happy and learn how to deal with the changes as best as I can.
Here's a tip. My unmarried son lives a mile away. he is a full time grad student, working full time with an internship. He will come on Thanksgiving and then spend the night on Christmas Eve and stay all day Christmas. we take a walk about every two weeks. I go to concerts and movies alone if I want to go. My husband works long hours. Also I retired nearly a year ago. I am a loner. I do have a fiber group and I play music with some people. I am going to my first Fiberfest in Southern Indiana next week. Still working on my first sweater. i agree with you on the Stephen West project. I wish I could help more on empty nesting.
New to your channel and lovely to find this video in my feed tonight. I have two sons, my oldest is also a Ben :) He is 24 and graduated from Radford last December. He's been living at home since then, saving money and working a great full time job since the year's start but he's in the plans of moving out and on to his next chapter very soon. My other son is a junior in high school and his years here are quickening away as well. I am very close with my boys and they are such fine young men but I don't think I'm fully prepared for that separation to come even though I understand it's a new chapter and yada yada yada. With the price of food it certainly will ease my wallet lol But I understand your plight and hope you find comfort in your beautiful knitting and keep those communication lines open, always. x
Take your hiatus if you need to! I love your sense of humor and your personality 😊 this is the first video I’ve watched. I understand the empty nest thing . I never see my daughter ..she’s 28 ..it’s sad. For sure. I knit a lot and do puzzles , and take walks through the woods.. trying to ground myself 🍁☀️🍃☮️🎵🐾🧶💫Be well !
Not only is it $9 but it’s a freaking mystery to begin with 🙄 people suck! I’m so annoyed with all of them! Your response is exactly right!! Someone was hurt so change gears and move on ❤ exactly how I feel!!
The shift with children leaving HAS BEEN SO HARD for me and I feel like so many of my friends are just like "Yay! Freedom!". When the first child went to college ...it was 8 hours away and we didn't see him again for over 3 months. I felt like my arm was missing and I felt like everybody else was sad for a week and then they were fine. My oldest left 5 years ago and then was back during lockdown and I loved having everyone together for that time. When the second son left it didn't hurt as much and the 3rd child going off was less jarring too. We still have one at home but she is rarely here (same like you) and it is weird and I'm just still in transition trying to figure what life looks like going forward. They are all doing well and I am happy that are out in the world figuring out who they are and what their life will be but their is an emptiness that is hard to shake. I am not doing the Stephen West knit-a-long because I don't think I've ever liked any of the finished shawls from previous years but I do love the idea of a 4 color fade shawl and I bought a kit from Sonder Yarn co and planning to do a different one. I don't understand the people that wouldn't just pivot either. Reading all the comments here about kids growing up and empty nesting is inspiring! I am going to Rhinebeck but I can't promise to say hi...I am also an introvert...but I will try. I have knit at least two sweaters with your yarn! I hope the empty next fog/sadness lifts for you and Dave has a succesful knee replacement!
I get it. I just had a kid (age 19) move out directly into an apartment in our town. She is in college locally and working. It is different than going away to college and then coming home for breaks. She doesn't spend the night here. It felt so sudden. I do have 3 at home, but they are never around. My twins are seniors in high school plus working and my oldest is 20 and in community college and working. I am an introvert, but do enjoy several hobbies (knitting, houseplants, gardening, reading, exercise). My husband and I also just planned a couple of trips for the two of us. We haven't done much traveling without the kids so I am looking forward to that. I think it will be good for us. We just celebrated 22 years yesterday.
Empty nesting is no joke 😣 we moved to the beach and built a new house. It was my daughter who said to me your job is done, you should fly and have some fun So it was an absorbing project as they were leaving. We thought they might come back and built the house to accommodate that but they flew early and kept flying. It’s bittersweet, so happy they are independent and adulting well but oh my it’s still hard at times. I keep busy and look for joy everywhere, I won’t be the needy mum. MKAL I completed clue one and made some adjustments once I checked back in and discovered the issue, made it so it looks different, then time went on and the tragedy unfolded in Israel and my heart just couldn’t take it. I almost stopped the thing completely but I ripped out and started with the new clue one I had given myself enough time to let go. I had to wait until the joy came back and thankfully it has. I didn’t see it in beginning but I can appreciate how it made some people feel. It’s funny because we travel to Bali a lot and that symbol is part of their history, I remember the first time I saw it a few decades ago it made me catch my breath but then I realised it has a completely different meaning in that culture. It’s a mirror image but still makes my heart jump when I see even to this day each time we travel there. Each to their own. I always say it takes no effort to be kind. And if you can’t be kind then be quiet. It’s been quite an interesting exercise in observation for me. I couldn’t continue with that energy in the knit. Thanks for sharing, enjoy Rhinebeck 💕
Hi Gina, it's hard but it gets better. You get a break from Mom jobs and then they visit and you're happy again. I had 2 leave at once and felt the pain . It's another test for Moms to see how we cope. 😊
Hopefully the beautiful fall colours, being surrounded by good friends ❤ and yarny goodness will be a bit of a distraction for you. Take pride in raising 2 good humans and sending them out into the world and revel in their accomplishments. You got this!
When I find myself starting to get mired up in my muck, I stop and look at what is happening in Israel and know that they would happily trade places with me. So that gets my mind right. As for the KAL, while I am not participating, I have trouble with accommodating those who see hate in a knitting pattern, resulting in a takeaway from those who don’t. It’s a sad day when people are offended by knitting….
It is very easy to get an inadvertent hate symbol in a craft project. I made a quilt for my son when he was a little kid. What I thought would look like pinwheels more strongly resembled the hate symbol. It wasn’t the exact symbol but I was interested in tucking my son in at night, reading to him, singing to him and leaving him to sleep covered by the warmth of a quilt and love. I ripped out my sewing and reorganized the squares so that I wasn’t covering my child in even a hint of hate. I can’t imagine wanting to spend the time knitting and wearing a similar thing. Stephen West is an incredible person who is kind and caring. When he realized that there was a strong resemblance, he wanted nothing to do with that in his art. I didn’t see the resemblance in the shawl at first but I can definitely see it now. I also appreciate and respect Stephen and want to acknowledge his new vision for his art. We all change our minds about knitting projects and rip back whether changing yarn, colors, pattern, needle size or whatever. I don’t think think ripping out and pivoting on such a small piece of knitting is a big deal. There’s enough negative energy and hate in our world. Knitting love and empathy into my project makes me so happy.
Thanks for another great podcast, adore your Antique Flora and I wish I could see you and your besties in them at NY Sheep and Wool festival…….I must go some day for the experience of community and fiber, definitely have FOMO. I can totally relate to the loss of having your children in your daily life, it’s like a dark blanket that covers you for a while. It is a grieving experience and I encourage you to embrace it, feel it and know it comes and goes. My daughter lives in another state but my son and his wife live in the same city but seeing them is challenging…..have to plan and be intentional about connecting. I am not doing the MKAL and did not know about the “drama”….poor Stephen. People are selfish, narrow minded and IF it isn’t in their experience , often times ignorance, even denial prevails. Sheesh! I appreciate your podcasts and believe speaking truth is vital. Enjoy NY, can’t wait to hear about it and follow along on Instagram.
I feel your pain. It was very hard on me. Yes doing West knits and I also feel it is important not to do first clue. Not sure why so many upset knitters. He did the right thing. I had to go on antidepressants for a while when my first left home because I would sit in her room and cry. Now she’s my rock and I’m hers since we lost my wonderful son and her brother in 2021 from tragic death. So hang in there there is joy in time. Having a adult child who loves being with you even within limits is a blessing Nan
I stumbled across your podcast today for the first time and WOW, I can relate to how you feel. I am a fellow introvert also going through the empty nest syndrome. I had my son 33 years ago as a single mother by choice, so it’s always been just the two of us. He married my beautiful daughter in law in 2018 and they lived here in Tampa a few years before moving to NY. Now I see them a few times a year, but he is always on my mind and I miss him terribly. Luckily, I belong to a group of local fiber lovers, so I see people once or twice a week. One of them is knitting the SW MKAL and the discussion in our group was all about what a great guy he is for making the new pattern. If I wasn’t so fearful of traveling alone, I would get off my couch and go to Rhinebeck, but you know how it is for introverts. Maybe next year, and if I do, I will look for you! Just finished the No Frills sweater for my daughter in law as a surprise. I did it in Emma’s Simply Spectacular DK in the colorway Stiletto. It’s beautiful! Going to check out your website and hopefully order some of your beautiful yarn!
Gina, know you are not alone in your empty nest feelings …mine are 18 and 2x19 and I still have them home but may as well not they are all always elsewhere … I feel like hotel staff sometimes. Dreading the full move out as I am struggling now with the metaphorical distance I feel😔❤️
I think growing up is hard. It's easy to be fancy free at a young age, but going through losses, health struggles, raising kids, getting time away from kids, teenagers, etc... I'm positive all phases get harder. I'm of a different age, but I'm still trying to adjust to the loss of my mom (pancreatic cancer) in 2019. Your sweater is beautiful and fits so nice!!!!! I give Stephen so much credit for his adjusting right away but I think people are mean and should probably know, especially him, that he would NEVER do any of that on purpose or want to make things difficult for people. He's a genuinely good person. I loved spending time with my mom in college- dinner once a week? A text before bed? - Kimberly
Please don't go into a cave forever but do take the time you need and only podcast when *you* want to! Wish I had good advice re emptynesting ... we have adult son with us in too small a space and I have to remind myself how lucky we are to be spending time together. Having kids is complicated! Are there any things you used to think about doing when the kids were older/ on their own that you can do now? travel? trumpet or drum lessons? more pets? On the MKAL, I was going to knit it in 2024 after seeing completed project and picking colors that way (so not really as a mkal) but have joined in now in support of Stephen. Always love your podcast - thank you!
Empty nesting was such a very difficult time in my life. I raised 3 daughters and we were close. My house was quiet and empty and I could not even go in their rooms. It was so lonely and I was a stay at home mom and lost my purpose. I missed them their activities their friends the people that I knew through their activities. Time that is all I can say time and learning to like my own company. Trying to remember the premom me and what I loved to do was helpful. That is when I picked up knitting. Make plans so you aren’t just home and then start to date your kids. Get things on the calendar to do with them. Ask them to add you to their schedule. Thursday lunch every other week etc.and get to know them as a grown person beyond being your kid. I found it hard to go back with my husband and find who we were before kids and he was still very busy with his career. He many not be able to fill that hole but get him to commit to new things with you. Tuesday dinners out or discovering every park within a two hour drive. Margaritas and tacos movie nights and take turns picking your favorite movies from over the years. It is work and honestly you want your old life back. I don’t do goodbyes well and you have to say goodbye to life as you knew it. That is why you are grieving. It is grief. I am now 66 and my girls are married and moms and life has moved on in good ways and yet still when I look back those were the favorite years of my life when we were all a family. I am going to Rhinebeck for the first time and will be there during your time slot so I will find you at the Yarn truck and give you a hug. You will survive but like all grief you have to go right through it to the other side. Life will be good again believe me.
I’m with you on empty nest. I can’t let go. I did find a post about the transition from sun to moon. It’s on my IG. I don’t have any answers - it’s raw and fresh for me and comes in waves. It feels like a huge loss. I’m trying to give myself time and grace to evolve. 💕 Lorien (maybe catch you on the fairgrounds but since my daughter is coming home that weekend, it will be brief)
Gina- I was so glad to hear you will be at Cake and Rhinebeck. I have not met you in person but so watched every podcast and I cannot wait to say Hi. I am in NC. I have 3 sons and I feel your pain. I found knitting when I became the empty nester. So I would say find something else you would also be interested in or want to learn about and dive in. I also knit every Saturday with a special group of friends. This is my sacred time. I also picked up reading again. It does get better I promise.
Glad to see you make a video. No Rhineback for me. My advice, embrace it and have all the feelings. My son is 17......so next year it happens. I'm turning his room into an indoor garden. He thinks I'm kidding.
Gina...to answer your questions, no KAL for me as I find them stressful. Having to stay current, the pressure it creates in my head, is anything but pleasant. The empty nest....well, first off, there's a hug to you inserted here. It's real and it will come in waves over your life ahead. For me, my son Eric, left for the military, never to move back home again. I never really adjusted to those years. He later married a young woman who is anything BUT what I had hoped for him. So what did I do? I look back to the young girl I was as a child and ask, who do you want to be now? And with that, I have moved forward with gratitude and joy and am discovering a new version of me, and I like her very much. There are grand kids now, not the expectations I had of how I thought my life would be with Eric, but its ok, I already had my kids and that chapter. Take a deep breath and go look in the mirror and tell yourself, "you're going to be happy girl, you're going to be proud of these days and years ahead".....that little girl inside is counting on you!
Gina, I love your podcasts, Taylor Swift, airplanes, and all! Your Rhinebeck sweater is gorgeous, and what an amazing friend you are to knit two. :) Your colors are works of art. The SW MKAL.. oh, the drama! I’m not doing it this year, but I do love his shawls. I’ve made several and I love them, but I’m just not great at styling 1600 yards of fingering weight fabric around my neck or draped around my shoulders. :) I agree that there’s no need to debate his decision. He can modify or switch the pattern at his discretion. It’s his name on the design. I’m an empty nester as of last year. For me, it took about a year to adjust. And I’m still learning. Your feelings are totally valid and you’re not alone, but I promise it will get better. ❤
Empty nest is hard. I didn’t feel it too much when my older boys first moved out because I had my baby who is 16 years younger then my oldest, but he is now 15 and like your daughter heavily involved with friends and band. What saves me is spending time with nieces and nephews who are still young. I do have friends who were very depressed at the start of empty nesting and it got better especially when they became grandparents, which I understand is a whole new joy. Sending much love to you and sad I am not attending Rhinebeck this year. I hope you have a wonderful time!
Hey Gina! I always enjoy your take on things. I too am an empty nester... different tho, Raised 5 daughters youngest finished college then raised a granddaughter from age 8 til this year when she left for college!! In the middle of all that hubs passed at 62. maybe i fill the holes in my life with yarn! Im not going to Rhinebeck..maybe one day who knows. The journey keeps me young!
So, about twenty years ago I was feeling the same way, and sat in my pity party far too long, really only a few months and Job like things started happening, which really throws you and puts things into perspective, after a much longer time! So I finally made myself actually counting my blessings, deliberately do something for someone less fortunate, just making a hat or mitts would do it for me . I also still miss my girls but we see each other and talk and text a lot, I told them to just send a text more often, even a funny meme, cuz you can't just cut off your mommy! Sorry, but you asked! Haha! I'm seriously trying not to delete but please feel all the feelings while listening or watching upbeat things, just a little bit of this goes a long way. I'm so impressed with your Rhinebeck colorway, btw!! Oh and also weed is now legal!?!
I’m with you 100% on the Mkal If we just remember the bad behavior of so many in this country, it is no surprise to see the petty people responding to Stephen’s Mkal. It’s my 1st with him and am so impressed with him and his values. ❤ I have admired him for years anyway. Also, I totally empathize with your living situation… I am 65 yes old and I became an empty nester in the same few years(2019-2021) as I remarried, quit my 16 year long job, moved in together with my new husband, his 92yo mother bc his dad passed away. My daughter (3rd child)was finishing college..I also busted my kneecap into pieces, lost both my 15 yo pets, then my Mom died.. I totally lost my identity..I had already gone thru menopause when I was 42 going thru my children’s’ dad divorce. I had a two year old!😮 At least I had that behind me!😅 So much trauma drama in my life all to say….I understand 😢 I understand how the stresses of life can overwhelm. I suffer from depression and even with medication I fell into a hole 5 years ago and I am just now able to peek out. 2020 did me in and isolation became a way of life. When my daughter moved out to her own place and my mil had to be moved to long term care in 2021, my husband and I landed where you seem to be now. We have begun to get more ( beside the regular visits to his mom and errands). Even if it’s to drive around. We even took a weekend trip! He is very understanding and loving about my withdrawal days to my knitting room. I’m trying. I’m planning things on the calendar that I can’t back out of too. Baby steps 😘 My suggestion to you is to allow yourself time to adjust.. becoming an empty nester is a life event.
My son, who is 38, just moved from PA to FL and I’m having a very hard time with that even though he moved out years ago. He lives so far away! I completely understand what you are going through.
In answer to your empty ness situation- when the time came for my kids to go live there lives I was lost . Back to school time was hardest on me (crazy hu) . I had made a promise to myself if I lived to be old ( true promise) I was going to Learn to knit , so I did. And it helped some, I found myself wanting to get up in the mornings to knit before I started my day. Then I retired and again felt misplaced, found Stephen West followed him for a year before retiring and learned about his MKAL so last year I did my first MKAL and then did the Hiber knit. This year I still have not started the 2nd clue1, I’m so human I went through all the emotions. So I went back to a baby quilt I’m hand quilting and marinating about my change of plans. I feel in this day and age it’s too easy to find fault and then it turns into hate. Stephen West was just trying to share his artistic talent and it backfired,I will not continue with the first Clue 1 out of respect to Stephen. And with all of this I will continue on my journey and yes I have plans on doing his Hiber knit as well. I’m just enjoying my chosen journeys with a great full heart 💜
Empty nest is an adjustment and I went thru a divorce at the same time, the thought of spending the rest of my life with that guy was not hapening...So for me it was an exciting new start. 16 years later....yeah mostly good....Find something that excites you. You are free! Whoohooo! Hope to see you at Cake, Wool and Folk and Rhinebeck...I was doinf the MKAL but stopped..to much drama for a shawl. And too many test knits to waste the time.
You are so right re complaints of being 'put out' by Stephen's request to forgo the initial clue as it truly upset some people. It is pointless to debate the subjectivity of what others 'see' rather as you say if anybody IS upset we should be empathic and just stop that clue by concurring. Strange but very similar in Australia where I live there has just been a referendum to agree or not with a small change to our Constitution to explicate that our Indigenous Aboriginal people should be given a 'Voice' to parliament (a small thing really just an advisory group which offers ideas) and overwhelmingly all States here said 'No !!' to that. The fallout is horrid with grief stricken and distressed people everywhere who cannot credit that we should be offering support to our very disadvantaged Aborignal people and not hurting them more as we have really done since colonisation. So same principle - WHY do something if it only hurts others just cos you are worried only about yourself - seems selfishness is alive and well everywhere !! Also I can understand why you are feeling so sad - but as time goes by you will come to terms with your kids as the adults they are morphing onto while not ever forgetting the joys the bought you as babies and children - they will be 'back' more then I am sure - take care of yourself and YES Peace on Earth everywhere would be wonderful !! XX
Love the your flora 😊. Empty nest is hard. It took me awhile to get thru that. It affected me harder than my husband. But retirement is harder…it is getting a little better as time goes bye. But after 48 years working crazy shifts and my husband working 2nd shift it is challenging some days. 😅
Gina, I think you have wonderful color sense and love everything you create. I will be casting on the Christmas socks from last year this holiday season. I’m hoping to snag one of your silk scarves but haven’t seen them on the website. I wish I could give you some empty nester advice. It may be hitting you hard because both your children are finding their place in life which yay. Keep yourself busy. Your life is in transition and you will get there. I don’t think I will ever go to Rhinebeck. I don’t have a group to rent the house , the car blah blah. Have fun! I love your Rhinebeck sweater!
Sending hugs from Deep South Texas. I’m doing the MKAL. I redirected. Trying to enjoy the process since there are 10 from our local group participating. Always enjoy your content. ❤
Empty nesting is torture! I still go through it when I'm with my kids and then not. It's also hard watching them trying to survive in a ridiculously high cost of living with student debt that keeps increasing due to government glut.. Life in America is difficult. Hang in there, get meds and therapy if needed. I'm glad he's close by. When my daughter left for undergrad she never returned permanently after grad school to CT....so I moved across the street from her (to MD). Then my son followed, thankfully. So, it worked out. I see them enough but don't overdo it. Have fun at Rhinebeck.
Hang in there, it gets better, they eventually sometimes have kids and being a grandmother is great. The thing that got me through was to keep busy, I did volunteer at our children’s hospital helping women who had high risk births so needed help after having the baby. That was basically because my career was in children’s hospital psychology and I was retired so besides missing my own kids I was missing client kids. What dreams did you give up to become a Mum? Something you can go back to now just for you? I did go back to University for a couple of semesters . Think of the things you can do now for you, or as a couple, get that knee fixed and travel? Find some new dreams? It is an transmission and you will get through it but you do need the time to grieve being their mother, take care of you🥰 Love your Rhinebeck sweater is so pretty, you all will stand out on the hill……though seems neon colours are pretty popular this year. I wish I was going to Rhinebeck and the other get together there as well but I will have to live vicariously through all the vloggers experiences. I wait impatiently for all the videos and hauls, love seeing photos of the hill and everyone gathered. Be kind to your and hubbys hearts now, rediscover what brought you together in the first place. Start dating again🥰🙋🏼♀️
Pinwheels are so common in designs, especially quilting. I don't understand the hoopla. Can't tell if the people attacking the design are ignorant or just plain mean. It only takes a few to start a pig pile. Feel bad for Stephen West. Hope the empty nesting gets better. Funny how we never think about how lost our parents feel when we left home. I'm back home looking after Mum now and my son helps out a lot. Everything goes in circles. Take care.
What a mess we are, huh? My kids, ages 28 and 30, have each moved, during pandemic, across the country, but I first faced empty nest when they were 13 and 15. The 15 year old was spending the summer in Boston at a ballet intensive, and the 13-year old was focused on her own thing and made it clear that she was feeling her independence. I am divorced, and have zero desire to "pair up" again. I work full time. And I had a hard realization that I needed to find something else to focus on. I tried diving into my job, in an obsessive way, but it just didn't fill that hole, so I spent some hard time trying to figure it out. I had, pre kids and pre divorce, really been into sewing but had pretty much given it up and didn't think I wanted to do that anymore. I was 40. I decided to try sewing, once again. I purchased some fabric and a pattern and dug out my machine. I wasn't really feeling excited, but I forced myself and VA VOOM, my love of sewing returned, in a big way. I decided to add the dimension of blogging. I LOVED it. I blogged for a decade or so and absolutely loved it. It changed my life in many great ways. I also got a new, exciting job that involved some travel and I also traveled and met up with other sewing folk and sewing bloggers. Life was GREAT. Then, after more than a decade, pandemic happened. I no longer had any reason to sew, when I was working from home and never left the house. So, here I am, at 64, I fell after pilates class and broke my pelvis in 2 places. During my time in bed, I started watching many vloggers (though I only recently found you). I have beentrying to get back into knitting (another past hobby), but it's like I can't get my groove back. I'm still trying. But here we are, we've done what we should. We've raised great kids, and they've done what they should, by getting out into the world and becoming productive humans. But each one is now over 3000 miles away and it's my job to let them go and find that next thing that engages me. I've tried to make that knitting but, yeah, I don't even have the skills I once did and my job isn't doing it for me anymore. I haven't retired because a) I like the income and b) I worry that, if I didn't have this engaging job, that I might curl into a sow bug and die. So, there it is. :) I refuse to put lots of demands on my kids. I have colleagues (at my age I could be the mother or grandmother of many of my colleagues) ask how their mothers can be more like me. I have no grandkids and probably never will. That's ok, but it would be another distraction. So, there's my story and sorry that I don't have better advice.
I just love you and your honesty. I have 4 kids, 2 have graduated college and 2 are still in college and because I’ve basically lived for taking care of them for 20+ years, right now it’s a cross between being happy for the extra time I get to do what I want and still wanting them to be around me and filling the space. One of my boys just moved out with his girlfriend and every time I see him or have to say goodbye I want to cry, but at the same time I’m happy for them and excited for their future. Ugh it’s so emotional and hard. And then add the damn hot flashes in there and what the hell are you supposed to do? I hope you can start to feel better. And knowing that we’ve raised great and kind human beings helps. As far as the MKAL I totally agree with you and some people just need to be throat punched. Have a great time at Rhinebeck! ❤
It sounds like you just need a break or change of scenery to reconnect with your creative self. A spiritual journey reignites the soul, an empty nest is a huge change. Listen to your mind, time to refuel.
Empty nest was hard for Me too! Bittersweet…. Because in reality you don’t want children to live with you forever. My experience was that with time, I adjusted.
"The gall of some people" - you are so right Gina. I love the honesty of your podcasts.
My nest emptied 20 years ago, so I’ve had more than enough time to adjust, but it took me the better part of 6 months to stop moping around and feeling like I was dealing with a huge loss. My feelings were definitely conflicted because I was so happy for my kids doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing and having a great time. But, I missed being a full time mom so much and I had a constant ache in my belly. We had our kids early on in our marriage, too, so we didn’t have a lot of time as just a couple, so we decided to start doing things we.never did together. We bought bikes, we went on short getaways every few months, I bought some new furniture and started sprucing up the house. Like every other stage in life, I finally eased into it and found new purpose in life. My boys never returned home to live and I’m so proud of them for taking the responsibility for themselves. We’re always there to help, but they wanted to be independent. So hang in there. As far as the MKAL people that ranted and raged about having to switch patterns or who refused to do so, I have no patience for that. If something is painful to someone else, even if you don’t feel it, find some empathy within yourself to be understanding and reflect on the Golden Rule: Act towards others as you would want them to act towards you. Clearly, Stephen had much more invested in this pattern than any knitter out there, and he never hesitated. Let’s all emulate his kindness and desire to include everyone. Enjoy Rhinebeck and find time to restore yourself……you deserve it!
I know, I felt a bit of that when my only child moved out. But I do think it's important for them to know you're proud that they're moving on and you're still there for them. It's a time to return back to yourself- remember were a full complete person before you had kids. You'll end up growing as a person and will no doubt make new discoveries. I really got into knitting when I went through it and it's been such a comfort and delight 😊
I am so glad i found your channel. You are hilarious, and honest, and real. I'm with you with the empty nest! My kids have been gone for eight and ten years and it's finally getting better. It took a long time for me. Okay, enough commenting. Back to the video. 😊
What a beautiful sharing. ) thanks Gina.
I am divorced and single momed it with my son since he was 2. He was involved in so many things in high school and my life revolved around going to band, orchestra, swimming, scouting, and one act play events. I was lost when he went to college. Luckily I was introduced to a local Ravelry group and soon my life was about knitting. We stayed close as he went to college 30 minutes away. The real shift for me came when he got married. Then ,as it should be, his wife was the most important person in his life. I could no longer call him whenever I wanted. I eventually adjusted and now I see them once or twice a week. I have the most wonderful grandkids and life is good. Give yourself time to grieve the loss and try to keep busy with friends.
I started the Westknits MKAL and began clue one with excitement. I failed to see the resemblance until it was pointed out to me. I did not like the garter stitch in the round so I am holding off until I see the final clue. I admire Stephen West for his stance on the issue. He has truly made the best of a bad situation.
I appreciate your honesty. I have a 13, 10, 7-year-old at home and have no concept of your emotions… thanks for giving me some insight.
I agree wholeheartedly about the mystery shawl. I respect Stephen West and have been working on the new version. It's lovely!
Bravo!!! We live in such a crazy hate filled world that I applaud Stephen for his sensitivity, I applaud you for re starting. I applaud your rant, and agree. I work where I deal with all kinds of people that come in. I shake my head every shift over some people's attitudes! So Bravo!
Thank you for your podcast. Your yarn is beautiful! Loved the sweater photo from Rhinebeck.
I’m empty-nesting too. My son is on the other side of the world in the Marine Corps. The house does have a strange and quiet feel these days. Hang in there!!
Empty Nesting?? I got through it by getting a big ass tea towel, draped it over my shoulder, and bawled my eyes out for 8 months!!
It worked! Now Im all good. :)
The sad feelings will pass. One day you will wake up from the dark cloud, and your children and you will have the most amazing relationship. A whole new, different chapter.
Still tons of love. Just different. Good luck friend xo.
Empty nesting is no joke. I’m about 1.5 years out and it’s definitely better but that first year was hard AF. I also lost my mom right as my last left the house. Therapy helped. Hugs to you and your husband. ❤
The empty nest…when my eldest went to college there was a real feeling of loss-still had 3 at home. Things got complicated. Communication is key, your feelings are real and they count.
Absolutely understand the empty nest feelings. I also grieved when my eldest left for university. It is truly a grieving process and takes time. No quick fixes that I am aware of other than the same self care you would turn to in other hard times. Maybe plan that trip to Paris you and Dave can enjoy after his knee surgery ?
When our first child left (our son) he went into the military like my husband several months later he was heading to Iraq 😕that was a horror beyond a horror. Watching my husband go dangerous places was one thing I nearly died when our son went that followed 1 more tour to Iraq and then Afghanistan. To this day I’m unsure how I made it though. Then our daughters to college and marriage empty nesting was hard but I found my husband again sappy as that sounds he’s always been my rock. Now I’m watching you with our 9 year old granddaughter in the next room (we have 5 grandchildren) she’s sleeping over at her nanny’s house. Each season of life brings heartaches and profound joy. My advice (as an old ER nurse married to a firefighter) is find your happiness in everyday!, believe me!! I’m going to Rhinebeck Saturday for the first time so excited!!! I knit the Arboreal I hope to see you to say hi.
Thank you for sharing your story… and advice! I hope to see you next week! ❤
Empty nesting is truly a huge transition in our lives! Personally and professionally, I think the pain comes from the physical loss of your children moving out but emotional because you lose a very important role (motherhood) that existed for 18 or so years. As a psychotherapist and mother, I think we have to feel this loss as we seek to find another role that fills our soul giving us a similar feeling. For some people, it is creativity, for others it is helping others, some people finally begin to give to themselves what they couldn’t while they raised children ( start a business, go back to school, apply for a job you’ve always wanted). Gina, it is hard and it is a transition. That feeling you discussed about relating to your child as an adult helps enormously. But it takes time to mourn your lost role and seek a new one that gives you a sense of passion and joy.❤
Gorgeous sweater
Very nice podcast. You seem like a lovely person!
'just a post menopausal girl that likes to knit'! LOVE THIS!!!! You always rock! I hope to make it to Rhinebeck some day!!! You all are lucky to be East Coasters....so many fiber shows! Sweater is beautiful. The transition when your child grows up is very hard as a Mom. I totally get ya!
Hi Gina - first off want to thank you for always being so authentic; I’m a fellow introvert and your “musings” really resonate with me. I’ve never had children so can’t relate to being an empty nester but will share with you something you’d shared awhile ago that helped me reconcile with the death of a loved one. I started watching TH-cam videos of near death experiences and was amazed at how much better I started feeling. Maybe there are similar videos on empty nest coping strategies? I also share your feelings about the MKAL especially in light of what’s now going on in the Middle East but my admiration for Stephen West has grown 1000 fold - what a class act! I hope you have a fantastic time at Rhinebeck and can’t wait to see your footage.
I couldn’t agree more about the MKAL. Once I saw Stephen’s video it was a no brainer for me, even though I couldn’t see the symbol until just recently
Gina, my heart goes out to your empty nestedness. ❣️ I have five amazing children, now ranging in age from 28 to turning 44 in a few days. 😱 When my first went off to college, she was only about 40 miles away, and my son was only two years old, but it was still hard. I remember being angry at my husband for crying in front of her when we dropped her off at school because I stayed brave and did NOT cry in front of her because I was afraid that would make her upset. Then two years later, my second daughter went off to college twelve hours away, and I would sit at the computer daily, crying, IMing with them. (This was in 2003, before they had cell phones and much in the way of texting.) And I still had three children at home with me! You would think I'd have been too busy to miss them! But, no! I missed them terribly! It is EXTREMELY difficult to let them go, especially if, as it was for me, being a MOM was your entire identity. Then there was the graduating from college and moving out for each of them...luckily, because the last two kids were seven years apart, it was more gradual, and for a while, my son was like an only child. Then it was time for him to go off to college, five hours away. My husband was battling stage four cancer, and we knew the end was coming. It came at Thanksgiving of my son's freshman year of college. I had married at 19, and now, at 60, I was totally alone for the first time ever. Luckily, I was kept busy with getting the house ready to sell and finding a new place to live. I adjusted to being alone most of the time, my son coming home from college for summers, and then he graduated from college. Thankfully, he moved back home for a while before moving out to live with friends in the city (Chicago). My four daughters are all moms themselves ( I have six grandchildren!) and live within 45 minutes of me, but their lives are busy and I don't want to be that needy widowed mom bothering them. My son moved to NYC last year to be with his girlfriend, but luckily travels a ton for work and gets to come back for visits quite a few times a year. I am happy that they are all wonderfully functioning adults, and I have gradually immersed myself in the knitting world and am lucky to have an amazing group of local knitting friends. It takes a long time, but now I am in the place where I enjoy being alone and doing and eating and watching whatever I want, when I want to! I hope that you will eventually come to be in that place as well. ❣️But it will probably take a while. 😥 Hugs.
I can completely relate to most of this!!! Hugs to all the momma's out there!!! 💖
❤️💐
Gina, you tell it like it is! I don't know about you but when we decided to start a family I was in a career that I loved but retired to stay home and raise the kids. Parenting was so foreign to me and boy, what a transition. I see empty nesting in a similar way although, full disclosure, my 20 and 22 year old left and are now both back living at home. That's a conversation for another podcast! No to Rheinbeck, too many people and your sweater is GORGEOUS!
When I had an empty nest I started fostering kittens. This gave me something else to mother and actually takes a lot of time. Now that I am through the other side, it gets easier. You kids become a pleasure to watch them as adults making their own lives. But it is really difficult when you are in the middle of it.
The empty nest is real and hard. My husband and I both felt it. I think you just have to grieve a season of life is over and celebrate the new one that is in front of you. Be kind to yourself it takes time. You and Dave will find a new rhythm.
I started the WestKnitMKAL and was willing to shift gears, but the negativity turned me off. I didn't see the hate symbol, but I would like to honor Stephen's request. It is his design. I put it in time out and will go back to the new version eventually.
Oh I feel you! I have 5 kids and you - like I are in the difficult season. Hang in there - hope you give yourself permission to give to you after giving so much to your family. ❤ hope to see you on the hill :).
I like your approach to keeping it pleasurable. I find that sewn bind off to be quite onerous too. Your antique flora sweater is beautiful.
I appreciate your honesty.
I’m not doing the SW Mkal but I did watch his video on the switch of clue one. All I can say is my heart went out to him as he was trying to correct the mistake, and it truly was a mistake. We’re only human and we do need to learn to move on… Anyway regarding the empty nest thing, yes I felt a lot of those feelings especially with my daughter. And it stayed with me for a long time. It’s been 17yrs now. One thing you can feel good about is that you have the capacity to love. Not every mother possess’s that. My mother didn’t have. You are much richer for it. And your children can use that as a springboard for self confidence, as they seem to have done because they’re basically independent. You’ve contributed to the world in the best possible way. You can continue to watch them if only from a distance and feel satisfied with a job well done 👏👏
I’m doing the knit along, I have done them for years. When I saw the first part my immediate thought was - I’m not knitting that. It did not hurt me but all I could see was a symbol for hate . I was then busy for the rest of the day, not knowing how I was going to start my shawl. However, by the end of the first day, Steven had posted an alternative.
I feel very bad about the situation but I think it was handled in the best way possible with sincerity and real concern for not causing harm.
Lovely seeing you and your update. Glad you pushed through despite the background situations.
My kids are the same age as yours. We’re also feeling that empty nest situation, even with one still sleeping here daily. It’s such an eye opening situation as you said! My husband too is struggling through it. Thankful for knitting.
Enjoy Rhinebeck. I hope to be there next year!!
Can't wait to see your sweaters live at Rhinebeck. I'm sorry that you are feeling so blue about empty nesting. Our house has been an empty nest for a while and I started to call myself a "Bird Launcher". I miss them, but love watching them thrive. Maybe it will come to you in time. xo Kim
Hi! I can’t wait to see you in person next week! 😍 ya. Emory nesting is the worst. All I can say is it does get better but it takes some time. 😔 and re Stephen. I just wanted to reach through my computer and give him a hug. I can’t even imagine how stressful that was for him! 😟 see you soooooooooon! 😍🩷
Seeeee youuuu sooooon! Bring snacks. 🤣😘
Love your Antique Flora. This is another great video. I am glad you did the 3rd take so we could see it. 💕💕💕Marie
I just love your podcast. You are so frank that you have me smiling all the time. It was interesting to hear about your West knit Mkal. I have never done it before and plan on giving it a try next year. Oh, the pain of recording more than once. I know it well. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering from an empty nest. I have bad days with this too. Sending virtual hugs your way. 🥰
Empty nest is real. And you kinda relive it again as your grandkids grow older and get jobs and go away to school. This past year, within 13 months we lost my father-in-law, mother, and then mother-in-law. It’s one of the the hardest things we’ve ever had to go through. I find you have to find your happy. Some days I’m an introvert and others I know I need to get out and see ppl. Lots of walks, good food, plenty of sleep, staying hydrated, praying , friends and of course knitting, go a long way. I guess I’m saying, stay busy and healthy lol. Hang in there. Thanks for your great podcasts.
Empty nesting is definitely like a death. It is the end of an era- the era of raising children and having a full house. It is an era that has been a long one- at least 18 years, or longer, if you have older children. I had five children over 14 years, so when my last child moved out at 20, I had been parenting for 34 years. It had been a huge part of my identity. When Alli moved out, I was living alone for the first time in my life, as my husband and I had divorced 3 years earlier. Now THAT was an interesting transition. So yes, it is normal to grieve the loss of a role that was huge in your life and for most of us, the most important role of our lives. Some people celebrate and are thrilled with an empty nest, while others of us struggle for a while. Be gentle with yourself. Eventually, you will move through this phase and adjust to a new phase and your relationships with your adult children will evolve and be wonderful. You may even decide to fill your nest again (just kidding) and your kids may return home for a while, but it is never the same as before they moved out. Transitions can be really hard but transformation will happen and I wonder what great experiences lie ahead for you. 💜
I am doing the west knits MKAL. I was upset for a day after he changed it, not because he switched gears but because I had come up with a modification that corrected it, keep the celtic knot and had knit half of it....but that wasn't good enough. I had to either frog it and start over or not post photos of my corrected clue one version 1.5 (.5 for the modifications I made). I let it go by the next day, but it took me several more days away from it to reset, frog and start over. Still on clue one now but I have added tons of beads. I think that most people who are still knitting the first version of clue one have modified it so it does not resemble the symbol and they just like it better than squares.
After my son moved out of the house, I grieved for a few months. I had to reframe by looking at it as an adventure of looking at who I was without the label “ mother”. It made me more curious about myself instead of feeling like I had lost someone. I’m a great fan of dealing with “what is” rather than how I want things to be so I think it made it all a bit easier.
Thank you for your voice of reason!
I went back to school, became a Master Esthetician, and am now working on getting my certification in Massage Therapy. It keeps me caring for people, yet I get to take care of myself at night. Good Luck! Keep us up to date on how you’re doing with empty nesting!
Hi there, Gina, My husband and I cried all the way home (a 6-hour drive) after dropping our youngest child off in her dorm room for the first time. And this is a man who didn't want kids! LOL Everyone is different in how they respond and from what you said our solutions may sound outrageous to you, but here goes: Once we got home, we got back in the car and drove from San Francisco to Lake Louise in Canada. No reservations. No plans. It was so healing, freeing, and yes confusing to have no one to pick up at soccer practice or take to dance practice. But we turned the sad empty nest feeling into one of freedom. Next, we applied for volunteer overseas work and ended up working in an orphanage in Bangkok. Dramatic? Maybe. But it worked. You'll find your smile. Deborah
In all seriousness I went to counseling. It was so hard and you are right, you are grieving and it’s a process. I feel for you and all of your listeners in the same phase. Knit more, keep busy and go out with girlfriends. Take care of you!
My daughter moved to another state over the summer. I miss her terribly. I find my cats help, but nothing takes the pain away.
I bought the Steven West MKAL, but, Luckily, I was late starting it. That center square does not look like fun so I was contemplating not doing it all. I just saw the second clue so I might cast on soon.
love the color combination!
We have five kids and our oldest son was 17 when our youngest son was born, so our family size at home slowly decreased. The house stayed cleaner and we had more money as we had less people in the house. It’s wonderful to visit all of them and it’s wonderful to have them all visit too. I have missed seeing them all the time but FaceTime and texting helps a lot!
Not going to Rhinebeck but.same weekend the festival in Fletcher NC and I did knit a sweater for it. I experienced empty nest my husband and I started a hobby of RVing took a few years but we live it
I hear you. You look beautiful. BTW, sweater is so so pretty
I feel you on the empty nesting. I’m 3 weeks into my daughter moving to college, and my son is a high school junior with a full sports and social schedule. I have been very wistful about the kids when they were young, and I feel like I want to go visit my daughter NOW! I do have my first trip to Rhinebeck to look forward to, so I will probably spot you there. I’ve continued to throw myself into my knitting and spinning, but other than that I hope I can stay relatively happy and learn how to deal with the changes as best as I can.
My empty nest found me crying a lot.
I can only remind you of this.....
LIFE IS A GENTAL BALANCE OF HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO.
I loved knitting the shifty and it’s probably my most commonly worn knitted garment
Here's a tip. My unmarried son lives a mile away. he is a full time grad student, working full time with an internship. He will come on Thanksgiving and then spend the night on Christmas Eve and stay all day Christmas. we take a walk about every two weeks. I go to concerts and movies alone if I want to go. My husband works long hours. Also I retired nearly a year ago. I am a loner. I do have a fiber group and I play music with some people. I am going to my first Fiberfest in Southern Indiana next week. Still working on my first sweater. i agree with you on the Stephen West project. I wish I could help more on empty nesting.
New to your channel and lovely to find this video in my feed tonight.
I have two sons, my oldest is also a Ben :) He is 24 and graduated from Radford last December. He's been living at home since then, saving money and working a great full time job since the year's start but he's in the plans of moving out and on to his next chapter very soon. My other son is a junior in high school and his years here are quickening away as well. I am very close with my boys and they are such fine young men but I don't think I'm fully prepared for that separation to come even though I understand it's a new chapter and yada yada yada. With the price of food it certainly will ease my wallet lol But I understand your plight and hope you find comfort in your beautiful knitting and keep those communication lines open, always. x
Take your hiatus if you need to! I love your sense of humor and your personality 😊 this is the first video I’ve watched. I understand the empty nest thing . I never see my daughter ..she’s 28 ..it’s sad. For sure. I knit a lot and do puzzles , and take walks through the woods.. trying to ground myself 🍁☀️🍃☮️🎵🐾🧶💫Be well !
Not only is it $9 but it’s a freaking mystery to begin with 🙄 people suck! I’m so annoyed with all of them! Your response is exactly right!! Someone was hurt so change gears and move on ❤ exactly how I feel!!
The shift with children leaving HAS BEEN SO HARD for me and I feel like so many of my friends are just like "Yay! Freedom!". When the first child went to college ...it was 8 hours away and we didn't see him again for over 3 months. I felt like my arm was missing and I felt like everybody else was sad for a week and then they were fine. My oldest left 5 years ago and then was back during lockdown and I loved having everyone together for that time. When the second son left it didn't hurt as much and the 3rd child going off was less jarring too. We still have one at home but she is rarely here (same like you) and it is weird and I'm just still in transition trying to figure what life looks like going forward. They are all doing well and I am happy that are out in the world figuring out who they are and what their life will be but their is an emptiness that is hard to shake. I am not doing the Stephen West knit-a-long because I don't think I've ever liked any of the finished shawls from previous years but I do love the idea of a 4 color fade shawl and I bought a kit from Sonder Yarn co and planning to do a different one. I don't understand the people that wouldn't just pivot either. Reading all the comments here about kids growing up and empty nesting is inspiring! I am going to Rhinebeck but I can't promise to say hi...I am also an introvert...but I will try. I have knit at least two sweaters with your yarn! I hope the empty next fog/sadness lifts for you and Dave has a succesful knee replacement!
I get it. I just had a kid (age 19) move out directly into an apartment in our town. She is in college locally and working. It is different than going away to college and then coming home for breaks. She doesn't spend the night here. It felt so sudden. I do have 3 at home, but they are never around. My twins are seniors in high school plus working and my oldest is 20 and in community college and working. I am an introvert, but do enjoy several hobbies (knitting, houseplants, gardening, reading, exercise). My husband and I also just planned a couple of trips for the two of us. We haven't done much traveling without the kids so I am looking forward to that. I think it will be good for us. We just celebrated 22 years yesterday.
Empty nesting is no joke 😣 we moved to the beach and built a new house. It was my daughter who said to me your job is done, you should fly and have some fun So it was an absorbing project as they were leaving. We thought they might come back and built the house to accommodate that but they flew early and kept flying. It’s bittersweet, so happy they are independent and adulting well but oh my it’s still hard at times. I keep busy and look for joy everywhere, I won’t be the needy mum.
MKAL I completed clue one and made some adjustments once I checked back in and discovered the issue, made it so it looks different, then time went on and the tragedy unfolded in Israel and my heart just couldn’t take it. I almost stopped the thing completely but I ripped out and started with the new clue one I had given myself enough time to let go. I had to wait until the joy came back and thankfully it has.
I didn’t see it in beginning but I can appreciate how it made some people feel.
It’s funny because we travel to Bali a lot and that symbol is part of their history, I remember the first time I saw it a few decades ago it made me catch my breath but then I realised it has a completely different meaning in that culture. It’s a mirror image but still makes my heart jump when I see even to this day each time we travel there.
Each to their own. I always say it takes no effort to be kind. And if you can’t be kind then be quiet. It’s been quite an interesting exercise in observation for me.
I couldn’t continue with that energy in the knit.
Thanks for sharing, enjoy Rhinebeck 💕
Thank you for sharing your story! 😘⭐️😘⭐️and advice. Interesting about Bali! I didn’t know that!
Yes its hard when they leave ,but our job is to set them free. Poor Stephen. I really feel for him. Hes a sweet, gentle soul.
Hi Gina, it's hard but it gets better. You get a break from Mom jobs and then they visit and you're happy again. I had 2 leave at once and felt the pain . It's another test for Moms to see how we cope. 😊
Hopefully the beautiful fall colours, being surrounded by good friends ❤ and yarny goodness will be a bit of a distraction for you. Take pride in raising 2 good humans and sending them out into the world and revel in their accomplishments. You got this!
I cant believe people would ask for a refund, for a mystery knit along!! they didnt know what it would look like to begin with..
Wish I was going to Rhinebeck. I have had enough Taylor Swift to last awhile 😅 Enjoy your podcast .
When I find myself starting to get mired up in my muck, I stop and look at what is happening in Israel and know that they would happily trade places with me. So that gets my mind right.
As for the KAL, while I am not participating, I have trouble with accommodating those who see hate in a knitting pattern, resulting in a takeaway from those who don’t. It’s a sad day when people are offended by knitting….
It is very easy to get an inadvertent hate symbol in a craft project. I made a quilt for my son when he was a little kid. What I thought would look like pinwheels more strongly resembled the hate symbol. It wasn’t the exact symbol but I was interested in tucking my son in at night, reading to him, singing to him and leaving him to sleep covered by the warmth of a quilt and love. I ripped out my sewing and reorganized the squares so that I wasn’t covering my child in even a hint of hate.
I can’t imagine wanting to spend the time knitting and wearing a similar thing. Stephen West is an incredible person who is kind and caring. When he realized that there was a strong resemblance, he wanted nothing to do with that in his art. I didn’t see the resemblance in the shawl at first but I can definitely see it now. I also appreciate and respect Stephen and want to acknowledge his new vision for his art. We all change our minds about knitting projects and rip back whether changing yarn, colors, pattern, needle size or whatever. I don’t think think ripping out and pivoting on such a small piece of knitting is a big deal. There’s enough negative energy and hate in our world. Knitting love and empathy into my project makes me so happy.
They are seeing a hate symbol- not hate itself. They aren’t offended by knitting, they don’t want to create an offensive image.
Thanks for another great podcast, adore your Antique Flora and I wish I could see you and your besties in them at NY Sheep and Wool festival…….I must go some day for the experience of community and fiber, definitely have FOMO. I can totally relate to the loss of having your children in your daily life, it’s like a dark blanket that covers you for a while. It is a grieving experience and I encourage you to embrace it, feel it and know it comes and goes. My daughter lives in another state but my son and his wife live in the same city but seeing them is challenging…..have to plan and be intentional about connecting. I am not doing the MKAL and did not know about the “drama”….poor Stephen. People are selfish, narrow minded and IF it isn’t in their experience
, often times ignorance, even denial prevails. Sheesh! I appreciate your podcasts and believe speaking truth is vital. Enjoy NY, can’t wait to hear about it and follow along on Instagram.
I feel your pain. It was very hard on me. Yes doing West knits and I also feel it is important not to do first clue. Not sure why so many upset knitters. He did the right thing.
I had to go on antidepressants for a while when my first left home because I would sit in her room and cry. Now she’s my rock and I’m hers since we lost my wonderful son and her brother in 2021 from tragic death.
So hang in there there is joy in time. Having a adult child who loves being with you even within limits is a blessing Nan
I stumbled across your podcast today for the first time and WOW, I can relate to how you feel. I am a fellow introvert also going through the empty nest syndrome. I had my son 33 years ago as a single mother by choice, so it’s always been just the two of us. He married my beautiful daughter in law in 2018 and they lived here in Tampa a few years before moving to NY. Now I see them a few times a year, but he is always on my mind and I miss him terribly. Luckily, I belong to a group of local fiber lovers, so I see people once or twice a week. One of them is knitting the SW MKAL and the discussion in our group was all about what a great guy he is for making the new pattern. If I wasn’t so fearful of traveling alone, I would get off my couch and go to Rhinebeck, but you know how it is for introverts. Maybe next year, and if I do, I will look for you! Just finished the No Frills sweater for my daughter in law as a surprise. I did it in Emma’s Simply Spectacular DK in the colorway Stiletto. It’s beautiful! Going to check out your website and hopefully order some of your beautiful yarn!
Thank you for watching and finding me!!! 😘⭐️😘
Gina, know you are not alone in your empty nest feelings …mine are 18 and 2x19 and I still have them home but may as well not they are all always elsewhere … I feel like hotel staff sometimes. Dreading the full move out as I am struggling now with the metaphorical distance I feel😔❤️
I think growing up is hard. It's easy to be fancy free at a young age, but going through losses, health struggles, raising kids, getting time away from kids, teenagers, etc... I'm positive all phases get harder. I'm of a different age, but I'm still trying to adjust to the loss of my mom (pancreatic cancer) in 2019.
Your sweater is beautiful and fits so nice!!!!! I give Stephen so much credit for his adjusting right away but I think people are mean and should probably know, especially him, that he would NEVER do any of that on purpose or want to make things difficult for people. He's a genuinely good person.
I loved spending time with my mom in college- dinner once a week? A text before bed? - Kimberly
Please don't go into a cave forever but do take the time you need and only podcast when *you* want to! Wish I had good advice re emptynesting ... we have adult son with us in too small a space and I have to remind myself how lucky we are to be spending time together. Having kids is complicated! Are there any things you used to think about doing when the kids were older/ on their own that you can do now? travel? trumpet or drum lessons? more pets? On the MKAL, I was going to knit it in 2024 after seeing completed project and picking colors that way (so not really as a mkal) but have joined in now in support of Stephen. Always love your podcast - thank you!
Empty nesting was such a very difficult time in my life. I raised 3 daughters and we were close. My house was quiet and empty and I could not even go in their rooms. It was so lonely and I was a stay at home mom and lost my purpose. I missed them their activities their friends the people that I knew through their activities. Time that is all I can say time and learning to like my own company. Trying to remember the premom me and what I loved to do was helpful. That is when I picked up knitting. Make plans so you aren’t just home and then start to date your kids. Get things on the calendar to do with them. Ask them to add you to their schedule. Thursday lunch every other week etc.and get to know them as a grown person beyond being your kid. I found it hard to go back with my husband and find who we were before kids and he was still very busy with his career. He many not be able to fill that hole but get him to commit to new things with you. Tuesday dinners out or discovering every park within a two hour drive. Margaritas and tacos movie nights and take turns picking your favorite movies from over the years. It is work and honestly you want your old life back. I don’t do goodbyes well and you have to say goodbye to life as you knew it. That is why you are grieving. It is grief. I am now 66 and my girls are married and moms and life has moved on in good ways and yet still when I look back those were the favorite years of my life when we were all a family. I am going to Rhinebeck for the first time and will be there during your time slot so I will find you at the Yarn truck and give you a hug. You will survive but like all grief you have to go right through it to the other side. Life will be good again believe me.
I’m with you on empty nest. I can’t let go. I did find a post about the transition from sun to moon. It’s on my IG. I don’t have any answers - it’s raw and fresh for me and comes in waves. It feels like a huge loss. I’m trying to give myself time and grace to evolve. 💕 Lorien (maybe catch you on the fairgrounds but since my daughter is coming home that weekend, it will be brief)
Can’t wait to see you cake Cakepalooza!
😘💕⭐️
Gina- I was so glad to hear you will be at Cake and Rhinebeck. I have not met you in person but so watched every podcast and I cannot wait to say Hi. I am in NC. I have 3 sons and I feel your pain. I found knitting when I became the empty nester. So I would say find something else you would also be interested in or want to learn about and dive in. I also knit every Saturday with a special group of friends. This is my sacred time. I also picked up reading again. It does get better I promise.
Thank you so much! ⭐️⭐️😘
Glad to see you make a video. No Rhineback for me. My advice, embrace it and have all the feelings. My son is 17......so next year it happens. I'm turning his room into an indoor garden. He thinks I'm kidding.
Love that! 🤣😘
On youngest moved to college last month but our oldest moved home for a little bit so I haven’t fully experienced empty nest.
Gina...to answer your questions, no KAL for me as I find them stressful. Having to stay current, the pressure it creates in my head, is anything but pleasant. The empty nest....well, first off, there's a hug to you inserted here. It's real and it will come in waves over your life ahead. For me, my son Eric, left for the military, never to move back home again. I never really adjusted to those years. He later married a young woman who is anything BUT what I had hoped for him. So what did I do? I look back to the young girl I was as a child and ask, who do you want to be now? And with that, I have moved forward with gratitude and joy and am discovering a new version of me, and I like her very much. There are grand kids now, not the expectations I had of how I thought my life would be with Eric, but its ok, I already had my kids and that chapter. Take a deep breath and go look in the mirror and tell yourself, "you're going to be happy girl, you're going to be proud of these days and years ahead".....that little girl inside is counting on you!
Gina, I love your podcasts, Taylor Swift, airplanes, and all! Your Rhinebeck sweater is gorgeous, and what an amazing friend you are to knit two. :) Your colors are works of art. The SW MKAL.. oh, the drama! I’m not doing it this year, but I do love his shawls. I’ve made several and I love them, but I’m just not great at styling 1600 yards of fingering weight fabric around my neck or draped around my shoulders. :) I agree that there’s no need to debate his decision. He can modify or switch the pattern at his discretion. It’s his name on the design. I’m an empty nester as of last year. For me, it took about a year to adjust. And I’m still learning. Your feelings are totally valid and you’re not alone, but I promise it will get better. ❤
Empty nest is hard. I didn’t feel it too much when my older boys first moved out because I had my baby who is 16 years younger then my oldest, but he is now 15 and like your daughter heavily involved with friends and band. What saves me is spending time with nieces and nephews who are still young. I do have friends who were very depressed at the start of empty nesting and it got better especially when they became grandparents, which I understand is a whole new joy. Sending much love to you and sad I am not attending Rhinebeck this year. I hope you have a wonderful time!
I love your Antique Flora. It is so pretty.
Hey Gina! I always enjoy your take on things. I too am an empty nester... different tho, Raised 5 daughters youngest finished college then raised a granddaughter from age 8 til this year when she left for college!! In the middle of all that hubs passed at 62. maybe i fill the holes in my life with yarn! Im not going to Rhinebeck..maybe one day who knows. The journey keeps me young!
So, about twenty years ago I was feeling the same way, and sat in my pity party far too long, really only a few months and Job like things started happening, which really throws you and puts things into perspective, after a much longer time! So I finally made myself actually counting my blessings, deliberately do something for someone less fortunate, just making a hat or mitts would do it for me . I also still miss my girls but we see each other and talk and text a lot, I told them to just send a text more often, even a funny meme, cuz you can't just cut off your mommy! Sorry, but you asked! Haha! I'm seriously trying not to delete but please feel all the feelings while listening or watching upbeat things, just a little bit of this goes a long way. I'm so impressed with your Rhinebeck colorway, btw!! Oh and also weed is now legal!?!
Yes, a cave may help for a short while.
You are loved
I’m with you 100% on the Mkal If we just remember the bad behavior of so many in this country, it is no surprise to see the petty people responding to Stephen’s Mkal. It’s my 1st with him and am so impressed with him and his values. ❤ I have admired him for years anyway.
Also, I totally empathize with your living situation… I am 65 yes old and I became an empty nester in the same few years(2019-2021) as I remarried, quit my 16 year long job, moved in together with my new husband, his 92yo mother bc his dad passed away. My daughter (3rd child)was finishing college..I also busted my kneecap into pieces, lost both my 15 yo pets, then my Mom died.. I totally lost my identity..I had already gone thru menopause when I was 42 going thru my children’s’ dad divorce. I had a two year old!😮 At least I had that behind me!😅
So much trauma drama in my life all to say….I understand 😢 I understand how the stresses of life can overwhelm. I suffer from depression and even with medication I fell into a hole 5 years ago and I am just now able to peek out. 2020 did me in and isolation became a way of life. When my daughter moved out to her own place and my mil had to be moved to long term care in 2021, my husband and I landed where you seem to be now. We have begun to get more ( beside the regular visits to his mom and errands). Even if it’s to drive around. We even took a weekend trip! He is very understanding and loving about my withdrawal days to my knitting room. I’m trying. I’m planning things on the calendar that I can’t back out of too. Baby steps 😘
My suggestion to you is to allow yourself time to adjust.. becoming an empty nester is a life event.
My son, who is 38, just moved from PA to FL and I’m having a very hard time with that even though he moved out years ago. He lives so far away! I completely understand what you are going through.
In answer to your empty ness situation- when the time came for my kids to go live there lives I was lost . Back to school time was hardest on me (crazy hu) . I had made a promise to myself if I lived to be old ( true promise) I was going to
Learn to knit , so I did. And it helped some, I found myself wanting to get up in the mornings to knit before I started my day. Then I retired and again felt misplaced, found Stephen West followed him for a year before retiring and learned about his MKAL so last year I did my first MKAL and then did the Hiber knit. This year I still have not started the 2nd clue1, I’m so human I went through all the emotions. So I went back to a baby quilt I’m hand quilting and marinating about my change of plans. I feel in this day and age it’s too easy to find fault and then it turns into hate. Stephen West was just trying to share his artistic talent and it backfired,I will not continue with the first Clue 1 out of respect to Stephen. And with all of this I will continue on my journey and yes I have plans on doing his Hiber knit as well. I’m just enjoying my chosen journeys with a great full heart 💜
Empty nest is an adjustment and I went thru a divorce at the same time, the thought of spending the rest of my life with that guy was not hapening...So for me it was an exciting new start. 16 years later....yeah mostly good....Find something that excites you. You are free! Whoohooo! Hope to see you at Cake, Wool and Folk and Rhinebeck...I was doinf the MKAL but stopped..to much drama for a shawl. And too many test knits to waste the time.
Your MKAL colors are striking.
You are so right re complaints of being 'put out' by Stephen's request to forgo the initial clue as it truly upset some people. It is pointless to debate the subjectivity of what others 'see' rather as you say if anybody IS upset we should be empathic and just stop that clue by concurring. Strange but very similar in Australia where I live there has just been a referendum to agree or not with a small change to our Constitution to explicate that our Indigenous Aboriginal people should be given a 'Voice' to parliament (a small thing really just an advisory group which offers ideas) and overwhelmingly all States here said 'No !!' to that. The fallout is horrid with grief stricken and distressed people everywhere who cannot credit that we should be offering support to our very disadvantaged Aborignal people and not hurting them more as we have really done since colonisation. So same principle - WHY do something if it only hurts others just cos you are worried only about yourself - seems selfishness is alive and well everywhere !! Also I can understand why you are feeling so sad - but as time goes by you will come to terms with your kids as the adults they are morphing onto while not ever forgetting the joys the bought you as babies and children - they will be 'back' more then I am sure - take care of yourself and YES Peace on Earth everywhere would be wonderful !! XX
Love the your flora 😊. Empty nest is hard. It took me awhile to get thru that. It affected me harder than my husband. But retirement is harder…it is getting a little better as time goes bye. But after 48 years working crazy shifts and my husband working 2nd shift it is challenging some days. 😅
Happily you have a partner to share the journey. There are some wonderful retreats out west... check them out.
Gina, I think you have wonderful color sense and love everything you create. I will be casting on the Christmas socks from last year this holiday season. I’m hoping to snag one of your silk scarves but haven’t seen them on the website. I wish I could give you some empty nester advice. It may be hitting you hard because both your children are finding their place in life which yay. Keep yourself busy. Your life is in transition and you will get there. I don’t think I will ever go to Rhinebeck. I don’t have a group to rent the house , the car blah blah. Have fun! I love your Rhinebeck sweater!
Sending hugs from Deep South Texas. I’m doing the MKAL. I redirected. Trying to enjoy the process since there are 10 from our local group participating. Always enjoy your content. ❤
Empty nesting is torture! I still go through it when I'm with my kids and then not. It's also hard watching them trying to survive in a ridiculously high cost of living with student debt that keeps increasing due to government glut.. Life in America is difficult. Hang in there, get meds and therapy if needed. I'm glad he's close by. When my daughter left for undergrad she never returned permanently after grad school to CT....so I moved across the street from her (to MD). Then my son followed, thankfully. So, it worked out. I see them enough but don't overdo it. Have fun at Rhinebeck.
Empty nest…i went kicking and screaming…i felt less needed snd i loved being a mommy
My husband was fine with it all
Hang in there, it gets better, they eventually sometimes have kids and being a grandmother is great. The thing that got me through was to keep busy, I did volunteer at our children’s hospital helping women who had high risk births so needed help after having the baby. That was basically because my career was in children’s hospital psychology and I was retired so besides missing my own kids I was missing client kids.
What dreams did you give up to become a Mum? Something you can go back to now just for you? I did go back to University for a couple of semesters . Think of the things you can do now for you, or as a couple, get that knee fixed and travel? Find some new dreams?
It is an transmission and you will get through it but you do need the time to grieve being their mother, take care of you🥰
Love your Rhinebeck sweater is so pretty, you all will stand out on the hill……though seems neon colours are pretty popular this year.
I wish I was going to Rhinebeck and the other get together there as well but I will have to live vicariously through all the vloggers experiences. I wait impatiently for all the videos and hauls, love seeing photos of the hill and everyone gathered.
Be kind to your and hubbys hearts now, rediscover what brought you together in the first place. Start dating again🥰🙋🏼♀️
Pinwheels are so common in designs, especially quilting. I don't understand the hoopla. Can't tell if the people attacking the design are ignorant or just plain mean. It only takes a few to start a pig pile. Feel bad for Stephen West. Hope the empty nesting gets better. Funny how we never think about how lost our parents feel when we left home. I'm back home looking after Mum now and my son helps out a lot. Everything goes in circles. Take care.
What a mess we are, huh? My kids, ages 28 and 30, have each moved, during pandemic, across the country, but I first faced empty nest when they were 13 and 15. The 15 year old was spending the summer in Boston at a ballet intensive, and the 13-year old was focused on her own thing and made it clear that she was feeling her independence. I am divorced, and have zero desire to "pair up" again. I work full time. And I had a hard realization that I needed to find something else to focus on. I tried diving into my job, in an obsessive way, but it just didn't fill that hole, so I spent some hard time trying to figure it out.
I had, pre kids and pre divorce, really been into sewing but had pretty much given it up and didn't think I wanted to do that anymore. I was 40. I decided to try sewing, once again. I purchased some fabric and a pattern and dug out my machine. I wasn't really feeling excited, but I forced myself and VA VOOM, my love of sewing returned, in a big way. I decided to add the dimension of blogging. I LOVED it. I blogged for a decade or so and absolutely loved it. It changed my life in many great ways.
I also got a new, exciting job that involved some travel and I also traveled and met up with other sewing folk and sewing bloggers. Life was GREAT. Then, after more than a decade, pandemic happened. I no longer had any reason to sew, when I was working from home and never left the house. So, here I am, at 64, I fell after pilates class and broke my pelvis in 2 places. During my time in bed, I started watching many vloggers (though I only recently found you). I have beentrying to get back into knitting (another past hobby), but it's like I can't get my groove back. I'm still trying.
But here we are, we've done what we should. We've raised great kids, and they've done what they should, by getting out into the world and becoming productive humans. But each one is now over 3000 miles away and it's my job to let them go and find that next thing that engages me. I've tried to make that knitting but, yeah, I don't even have the skills I once did and my job isn't doing it for me anymore. I haven't retired because a) I like the income and b) I worry that, if I didn't have this engaging job, that I might curl into a sow bug and die.
So, there it is. :) I refuse to put lots of demands on my kids. I have colleagues (at my age I could be the mother or grandmother of many of my colleagues) ask how their mothers can be more like me. I have no grandkids and probably never will. That's ok, but it would be another distraction. So, there's my story and sorry that I don't have better advice.
Hope to see you at Cake a palooza
I’m 72 n empty nest hasn’t gotten any easier. Try to stay busy. I started knitting for charity groups n it really helps
I just love you and your honesty. I have 4 kids, 2 have graduated college and 2 are still in college and because I’ve basically lived for taking care of them for 20+ years, right now it’s a cross between being happy for the extra time I get to do what I want and still wanting them to be around me and filling the space. One of my boys just moved out with his girlfriend and every time I see him or have to say goodbye I want to cry, but at the same time I’m happy for them and excited for their future. Ugh it’s so emotional and hard. And then add the damn hot flashes in there and what the hell are you supposed to do? I hope you can start to feel better. And knowing that we’ve raised great and kind human beings helps. As far as the MKAL I totally agree with you and some people just need to be throat punched. Have a great time at Rhinebeck! ❤
It sounds like you just need a break or change of scenery to reconnect with your creative self. A spiritual journey reignites the soul, an empty nest is a huge change. Listen to your mind, time to refuel.
Empty nest was hard for
Me too! Bittersweet…. Because in reality you don’t want children to live with you forever. My experience was that with time, I adjusted.