Ndiyakuva mna Thabs. My friend apologized after a year wabe umoya wam uphantsi and had already moved past the friendship and forgave her. Maar that doesnt mean we going to pick up where we left off. The friendship is over and I wish her all the best. Sometimes we just outgrow each other.
The reality is people don't value friendships. We take advantage of the fact that we think people will always be there. If I don't say anything, then I'll always have access to that person which is high key abusive.
That reflection your father made about being able to watch his children have a conversation whenever is so beautiful. I think I get it now, that feeling of being part of your online community. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us,strangers, who too are navigating sibling relationships, thriving and struggling but importantly, trying.
So I have thoughts lol. Complicated ke this topics and thank you for bringing it up. Relationships are usually defined (gf/bf/partner etc) whereas friendships rarely get that, because xa iqala there’s never a defined moment so somehow the unsaid expectation is that it takes an organic course. So when things take a turn, because there were no Ts and Cs to begin with, it becomes difficult to resolve because akho frame of reference. But the irony is that we hang on because in many ways, we invest time, emotions and sometimes resources into friendships; so that’s why it feels like a loss when things go bad. But yup I agree, only way around it us through it, and we need to be brave and say our part should one feel that something is off, otherwise the awkward vibes linger (often one sided because the other party could choose oblivion). Interesting how you’ve provided the “other side of the story” Ta Zuks but one the other hand some people will either just sit in defence mode and not hear a grievance or truly just not have a side to the story because they’re low key a leech in the friendship. I recently heard the phrase “the friendship ended because you stopped reaching out/keeping it alive” and sometimes that’s why the breakup doesn’t come when it should. So here’s to being brave and dealing with the awkwardness that’s friendship breakups with full closure, because siba dala (still learning the letting go and being brave/how part)😅
Friendship breakups: Friendship it’s quite rare to officiate “friendships” you just draw close and continue hanging/chatting because ke of what has drawn you guys together. Romantic relationships the parties have a conversation and agree. Maybe that’s why with romance you’d have a chat when breaking because that’s what you did when you started….but again maybe if a friendship has been over a long period, maybe it deserves an official break up 🤷♀️
We wil never know what the weather was like on this day 😂 Can you guys speak at some point about your fitness journeys? I remember when yoi started and You both look amazing!
😂😂😂😂😂 hayi maaaaan! This is so funny! It will remain a mystery forever lol Sure - that’s a great suggestion - definitely to be considered. thank you so much 🤗
You guys just inspired me to document my siblings' relationship with each better. What you are doing is more than just you'll. Imagine if we could watch your great, great parents chating with their siblings 🤯✨️🔥
TH-cam must make a plan, it's either we jump in live or sishiya iVN! It is the toughest thing to have those deep conversations because it needs one to really introspect and have the courage to talk to the other person about it and what makes it harder is that abantu abaninzi do not want to have those tough conversations. Vele kuthwe yintoni nha wena wa serious/ sufuna uba deep kwinto yonke or umntu akuxelele uba you are reading too much into it. This week I reconnected with a friend of mine, we didn't have a falling out but we haven't seen each other in months and haven't talked in a while because life be life-ing.
@@siblingthrivalry Firstly how necessary it is for someone to have friends based on your understanding or belief , Healthy Conflicts in friendship, friendship deal breakers, cutting off friends and also how to navigate 1 friendship breakups within a group friendship set, are you wrong when you involving other friends in your conflict for their views.. Also I would like to know how did you deal with Friendship breakups and and what would you do better in the future in dealing with a similar situation.
Tjo yaze yanzinyana ke le ye friendship breakups, coz WOW. It hurts xa sithetha inyani, kodwa we learn to move on. Honestly even when you thinking of going back, the thought of going back to the same situation makes you wanna let go utsho uthi haayi ndi right. Otherwise its always great watching fam ❤😅
Indzima yona clean as a subject… infact siyikha ngaphezulu 🥺 so you think the point is to move on, get better with time or to learn to fix ezi sikuzo? Thanks for watching 🤗
Isityamtyam is not a formal word, but often used to describe something or someone who is too malleable, or a push over. The meaning is often based regions of use and thus can have minor changes in meaning.
I just went through a friendship breakup after friendship of 8 years. We both feel wronged by the other and so we stopped talking. Personally I am angry and ngizwe bethi naye she is angry. But because I dont have capacity to have a confrontation naye, I am letting it be. Friendship over. I cried about it towards the end though.
Oh man this sounds like both of you are in agony over this … are you sure nothing can be done? Just ke to clear the air if anything - yaze yabuhlungu indaba
I disagree with "they are my fault". I kept quiet because I was extending grace. I think people are allowed to step on my feet once or twice. But then when I am hurt I do say ba "Okay that was painful". I broke up with my friend because my feelings were dismissed. Friendship break ups are painful 😢
26:00 FELT. It's partially my fault for not communicating every time I felt disrespected as the friend who's now letting go. It's a tough one man. I'm currently going through one of these where I'm just letting it die because I've also just decided "uhm I think you don't rate/respect me and there's no coming back from this" 27:50 I think I agree. It's also a thing of, I can't be correcting you all the time.
It’s 2024, bethuna! The isiXhosa language has evolved. We do have the R sound now. Ewe, we didn’t have it kudala. People who say we don’t have isandi u ‘r’ are just people who are trying to tell us don’t read much, oko bagqibela ngooAkusekho Konwaba if at that. 🤦🏽♀️
I’m not sure I agree that it’s your fault that a person treats you the way they wouldn’t accept being treated. Especially now that we are adults. There are also people that don’t take accountability for how they treat others.
Ndiyakuva mna Thabs. My friend apologized after a year wabe umoya wam uphantsi and had already moved past the friendship and forgave her. Maar that doesnt mean we going to pick up where we left off. The friendship is over and I wish her all the best. Sometimes we just outgrow each other.
The reality is people don't value friendships. We take advantage of the fact that we think people will always be there. If I don't say anything, then I'll always have access to that person which is high key abusive.
True!!!
Yho what a podcast, man! I wish it was live radio so we can dial in and share our opinions in real time. 😂❤
Sbwl… imagine having g it on radio - kumane kusithiwa - “kulungile le, sizomamela e-radio-weni” 😍
That reflection your father made about being able to watch his children have a conversation whenever is so beautiful.
I think I get it now, that feeling of being part of your online community. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us,strangers, who too are navigating sibling relationships, thriving and struggling but importantly, trying.
Thank you for watching it! We are glad that we can share with you also. What a navigation it is - happy that we don’t have to do it alone ! 🤗
6:46 I don’t really love podcasts but this one, I love it 🤞🏿, this is amazing guys.
🥹🥹🥹 what a beautiful comment ! We are so glad we can potentially convert you! Much love 💕
So I have thoughts lol.
Complicated ke this topics and thank you for bringing it up.
Relationships are usually defined (gf/bf/partner etc) whereas friendships rarely get that, because xa iqala there’s never a defined moment so somehow the unsaid expectation is that it takes an organic course. So when things take a turn, because there were no Ts and Cs to begin with, it becomes difficult to resolve because akho frame of reference. But the irony is that we hang on because in many ways, we invest time, emotions and sometimes resources into friendships; so that’s why it feels like a loss when things go bad. But yup I agree, only way around it us through it, and we need to be brave and say our part should one
feel that something is off, otherwise the awkward vibes linger (often one sided because the other party could choose oblivion). Interesting how you’ve provided the “other side of the story” Ta Zuks but one the other hand some people will either just sit in defence mode and not hear a grievance or truly just not have a side to the story because they’re low key a leech in the friendship. I recently heard the phrase “the friendship ended because you stopped reaching out/keeping it alive” and sometimes that’s why the breakup doesn’t come when it should. So here’s to being brave and dealing with the awkwardness that’s friendship breakups with full closure, because siba dala (still learning the letting go and being brave/how part)😅
27:41 friendship breakups happens because of series of incidents.
True ! Very true
Not the towel and being “Super sensitive” 🦸♂️ 🦸♀️😂😂😂🤣🤣
😂😂😂 always great when a good gag lands 😂😂😂
Friendship breakups: Friendship it’s quite rare to officiate “friendships” you just draw close and continue hanging/chatting because ke of what has drawn you guys together. Romantic relationships the parties have a conversation and agree. Maybe that’s why with romance you’d have a chat when breaking because that’s what you did when you started….but again maybe if a friendship has been over a long period, maybe it deserves an official break up 🤷♀️
Big facts! A very interesting view on this thank you - look out for this read on our next episode 😊
What a beautiful episode. It's also very difficult to amend a friendship or any relationship if one person cannot see past the hurt.
We wil never know what the weather was like on this day 😂
Can you guys speak at some point about your fitness journeys? I remember when yoi started and You both look amazing!
😂😂😂😂😂 hayi maaaaan! This is so funny! It will remain a mystery forever lol
Sure - that’s a great suggestion - definitely to be considered. thank you so much 🤗
You guys just inspired me to document my siblings' relationship with each better. What you are doing is more than just you'll. Imagine if we could watch your great, great parents chating with their siblings 🤯✨️🔥
TH-cam must make a plan, it's either we jump in live or sishiya iVN! It is the toughest thing to have those deep conversations because it needs one to really introspect and have the courage to talk to the other person about it and what makes it harder is that abantu abaninzi do not want to have those tough conversations. Vele kuthwe yintoni nha wena wa serious/ sufuna uba deep kwinto yonke or umntu akuxelele uba you are reading too much into it. This week I reconnected with a friend of mine, we didn't have a falling out but we haven't seen each other in months and haven't talked in a while because life be life-ing.
For me, some friends are for a season and its ok we move on. We should not be friends because we own each other.
No reason, no lifetime?
I think ngu ngquphantsi not isigquphantsi😂 close enough though.
Ewe mntase ngu ngquphantsi
Hehe, ivakele! Ngquphantsi we will take 🙏🏾
They’re speaking PE Xhosa sana! 🤭
@@BomiQuetry kunzima🤣
@@akhonatshangela2069 sana!! 🫠🫠🫠
I can write a book about my friendships! 😞 Overlooked connections that take a huge toll on us when they end..... Great topic!
Ohh guys we need part of the this topic 😢❤❤ohh thank you guys for this episode
Thank you so much… what would part 2 encompasse? 🥹
@@siblingthrivalry Firstly how necessary it is for someone to have friends based on your understanding or belief , Healthy Conflicts in friendship, friendship deal breakers, cutting off friends and also how to navigate 1 friendship breakups within a group friendship set, are you wrong when you involving other friends in your conflict for their views.. Also I would like to know how did you deal with Friendship breakups and and what would you do better in the future in dealing with a similar situation.
I really enjoyed this episode like the friendship break ups you guys spoke facts very relatable and eye opening
It’s definitely a series of events not the particular event that caused the break up.
True!
ndifunda lukhulu kuni oko xandibukele (friendship topic) REAL 🥺🎀
Oh this comment! Thank you so much we appreciate you! 🫶🏾
What a nice episode guyz❤😊
🤗🤗🤗
Love your PodCast guys it's so informative ❤
Thank you Kamo - much appreciate the love !
Ohh Gosh, I am that friend who always invite friends to church 😂😂😂😂😂Zuko kanti kukhona I chommy ezindilahlela kwalo Jesu endiqhayisa ngaye😢😂😂
Hayi we won’t say uba yenzeka njalo… Bathini bona?
Yho - akundziiiima!
Tjo yaze yanzinyana ke le ye friendship breakups, coz WOW. It hurts xa sithetha inyani, kodwa we learn to move on. Honestly even when you thinking of going back, the thought of going back to the same situation makes you wanna let go utsho uthi haayi ndi right. Otherwise its always great watching fam ❤😅
Indzima yona clean as a subject… infact siyikha ngaphezulu 🥺 so you think the point is to move on, get better with time or to learn to fix ezi sikuzo?
Thanks for watching 🤗
Isityamtyam is not a formal word, but often used to describe something or someone who is too malleable, or a push over. The meaning is often based regions of use and thus can have minor changes in meaning.
Love it! Clear and concise! 🙏🏾
😊Aww man, uTata must get unlimited wifi azobukela kakhle 😊
I just went through a friendship breakup after friendship of 8 years. We both feel wronged by the other and so we stopped talking. Personally I am angry and ngizwe bethi naye she is angry. But because I dont have capacity to have a confrontation naye, I am letting it be. Friendship over. I cried about it towards the end though.
Oh man this sounds like both of you are in agony over this … are you sure nothing can be done? Just ke to clear the air if anything - yaze yabuhlungu indaba
@@siblingthrivalry I think it needs an external party who is neutral to intervene. But I dont know if I am ready to forgive.
I disagree with "they are my fault". I kept quiet because I was extending grace. I think people are allowed to step on my feet once or twice. But then when I am hurt I do say ba
"Okay that was painful". I broke up with my friend because my feelings were dismissed. Friendship break ups are painful 😢
26:00 FELT. It's partially my fault for not communicating every time I felt disrespected as the friend who's now letting go. It's a tough one man. I'm currently going through one of these where I'm just letting it die because I've also just decided "uhm I think you don't rate/respect me and there's no coming back from this"
27:50 I think I agree. It's also a thing of, I can't be correcting you all the time.
True, Xhosa does not have the rrr sound. Uronta comes from rondavel.
True!
What about uRaka? Or ukuRuba? 🙇🏽♂️🙇🏽♂️🙇🏽♂️
@@siblingthrivalry Afrikaans, jy raak maal 😂. But I don't know which word ukuruba comes from.
It’s 2024, bethuna! The isiXhosa language has evolved. We do have the R sound now. Ewe, we didn’t have it kudala. People who say we don’t have isandi u ‘r’ are just people who are trying to tell us don’t read much, oko bagqibela ngooAkusekho Konwaba if at that. 🤦🏽♀️
I’m here for Zuko’s accents and Thalitha’s laughter
❤️
I’m not sure I agree that it’s your fault that a person treats you the way they wouldn’t accept being treated. Especially now that we are adults. There are also people that don’t take accountability for how they treat others.
Ndiyanithanda mna shame😂🤣♥️♥️ every episode ndiyonwaba
Love you loads ke Noyno - thank you for the love ❤️
Please bring your parents especially your father guys ❤😊
Oh that would be super amazing … we will have to try hard for it in the new year!
I immigrated and some of my friendships back home have been affected. I dont know whether to let of the friendships or work on them.
Isityamtyam sisibhanxa somntu...
Ndikulo breakup friendship ku yabanda sana andaz noba kwenzekani and ndikholwe finish 🚮🚮
Ithini into? Iyancamisa okanye iyazamisa?
Khazame maaaaani 🫢
I could never survive doing this with my brother, he's 12yrs younger. We grew up in different times😮
Mhla kwanetha iyoze inethe izantyalantyala(heavy rain)😅😅😅
Spot on!
NguNgqu-phantsi, not sgqu-phantsi. I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Sizofunda Nathi 🤗
@@siblingthrivalry Ungquphansti bantase
NguNgquphantsi, not isgquphantsi kodwa uzamile Thalitha
U Ronta Unqguphantsi not isqguphantsi Mnxxm ndiyabithanda kodwa ❤
Danko! 🫶🏾
29:52 the showing up part isn’t supposed to happen spontaneously 🤷🏿♂️
What is going on with the monochromatic colour Talitha has today?
While on it, what is monochromatic in Xhosa?
Hayke hayke 😂😂😂
singalwa thina ungakhala yeeee cela ume andiyifuni lento uyithethayo
uRhayirhayi guys the game inoR
Yes r the letter but not the sound… also it is derived from the Afrikaans - I’m the raai which is to guess
Irhamba is not Xhosa word ?
It is … however using the r letter not using the R “sound”
Ngu ngquphantsi😂😂
Yes it is! 🙏🏾
I love you guys😌🫠
I really enjoyed this episode bethuna🥹…thank you.ini so much🫂
Thank you for being with us 💐