Having Morbius and Madame Web next to each other in your resume must have the power to instantly blind whoever is reading it when trying to hire you. Back to back legendary stinkers
@@shirothr5384 you've got a point there, Road Runner and the Three Stooges were creative and funny. The writers of Madame Web never had an original thought in their lives.
Very few people in Hollywood and the movie scene in general are actually hired for their talent. It is the second most corrupt place in the world, second only to the Congress.
My personal favorite nickpick is how Dakota Johnson kidnaps the girls, leaves them in the woods for 3 hours, then by the time she’s back, someone in the diner already has a newspaper about the kidnapping. How did all of that happen so quickly especially in 2003
Can we mention that in the same general sequence, the same song is shown playing both at the diner and on the taxi radio which is a 30 minute walk away, and is still playing when Cassie gets to the diner? Not only this but Ezekiel gets to the diner after her when she walks in the vision, but before her when she drives there. The entire thing is a hot mess.
I bought tickets for this movie last night. Almost every seat in the theater was taken, and it has a capacity of about 75. When I walked in the movie theater it was packed full of Spider-Man fan boys and nerds. The film starts, and about 10 minutes into the actual movie, 30 people walk out. And throughout the span of the movie, me and 4 others were the only ones who stayed for the rest of the movie. Madame Web really isn’t as bad as you heard guys, it’s so much worse.
It really surprises me that people will have the confidence to buy a ticket for a modern movie and walk in with ZERO knowledge or seeing what the vibe is. Back when movies were consistently good sure maybe, but past few years have been a minefield of hot trash with some gems in between.
I am just wondering how many relationships ended because guys made the stupid decision to bring their gf/wives to see this awful movie on Valentines Day.
It amazes me how some producers and directors get handed 100 million dollar projects, fumble them spectacularly multiple times and just... get more jobs?
What's funny is that they didn't do that because they knew it would flop like we all knew it would it was because they at first tried making it a movie tied to Spider-Man but than realized how tf can they do that if they have a young May and Ben Parker which means he isn't even born yet. So they just ended up making it it's own thing because they didn't even plan it properly until late in the production process, that's the type of skill they have at Sony studios I really want to know how tf they ever made good Spider-Man movies without Kevin Feige helping them out.
I bet you someone did a "bribe" for this movie to happen but the Sony investors weren't satisfied enough That they just gave that certain person a bare minimum
An even worse example of how much thought was put into this movie is how is Casey able to book a plane ticket to Peru, in New York, while being wanted by the police for an alleged kidnapping AND while evil guy has her face and can track her every move.
Also this was set in like 2003, 2 years after 9/11. I was just born but my parents will tell you it was a NIGHTMARE traveling then even when you’re not wanted for… ya
You failed to mention how the villain’s voice hardly ever matched his lips. It’s almost like they scratched 80% of his lines and had him just voice over everything.
Hollywood films are lazy af. WWZ had that problem too. Rewrites cost a lot of money. Especially if you rewrite the entire damn movie. If you have to rewrite an entire movie, that's probably saying that you shouldn't be making it. And no one wants to see embarrassing dubbing.
Thats actually par for the course for Hollywood, almost no audio from set is ever used. However I think that actually speaks to your point more, they literally couldn’t be bothered to match up his dialogue like every other movie in existence.
The true mystery here is how the hell the writers from Morbius got to write another movie. I want whatever dirt they have on Sony to keep getting hired.
Dakota Johnson switched agencies after signing on for this film and when it was announced she was cast in this movie, she and the other leads tagged Marvel Studios on Twitter instead of Sony. So the speculation is that she thought she had signed on to a Marvel Studios movie. When she realized it was not a Marvel Studios movie but a Sony movie, she got mad at fired her agency. Which is hilarious if that’s true.
that funny, she probably didnt even bother reading the script up until the first day of filming. i knew this film was going to flop since i though it was going to be a series or something since madame web was always use as a plot device for spiderman. without spiderman she just a senile old woman lol. as a series it could work if they pace it better or make it into a murder mystery and by the end of the series she finally assume the role of madame web.
The funniest part is the CPR scene. she literally is tapping on his chest when she’s supposed to be pressing hard enough to literally break his rib cage
I fell asleep towards the end of the movie. I woke up after she got blind. I asked my girl, "did she get blind?" she was like "I'm not sure, I fell asleep too"
@@alihosseinzadeh6020 Yeah, but like every other villain has that for some reason so high speed, durability, and strength doesn't really mean much after that.
One of the craziest things about this movie was Sonys attempt to stealth birth Peter Parker in this movie. There is an entire subplot where they have to drive a pregnant woman to the hospital, and you dont learn this woman is Mary Parker before you see her name in the credits. Nowhere in the movie do they say the babys name is Peter or that her last name is "Parker". You also learn that Webs nurse friend "Ben" is actually uncle ben in the credits.
Craziest thing is they think we'd wait for end credits to roll. I dont even go to the cinema anymore lmao, and at home ofc im going to close the movie before the 10 mins scrolling of irrelevant mf's names. Im not waiting for Hulk to lift a rock in the post cred scene or wtvr the fck
Im like 90% sure that her name was mentioned at least once in the movie, so with that and from Ben referring to her as his sister in law is where you have to piece together that the baby is Peter Parker. Regardless though it definitely was stealthed
...I really really hate to be 'that guy' but someone will say it if I dont, yada yada I think it's meant to be the birth of his father or mother because may and ben are his aunt and uncle, not his mom and dad yada yada. that's a really snobby thing to comment but that aside I agree %100 that it's rather pathetic seeing sony trying to have their cake and eat it too. again, apologies
"why even make it" I'm convinced that the only way Sony can hold the rights to Spider-Man's IP is they have to at least put out a spider-man related movie every few years
Again Charlie mentioned it but it seemed like a lot was taken from the film,which tracks as Morbius also had a lot of stuff taken away from the original product.Idk Sony is like the little annoying brother of Marvel,they want to be a part of The Mcu so bad but doesn't want Disney to buy them,so I guess these movies are just there version of having a tantrum.
It’s horrible. They snubbed my name from the credits. I was one of the Production Assistants from the entirety of principle photography and they ended up not crediting half of us. I’m still on IMDB but it was very upsetting after learning my name was snubbed
Only half ironically speaking here but man, do you really want your name attached to this one? The guys putting the credits together might've just done you a favor.
Starting to agree with an old movie called "The Producers". In it the producers were intentionally making "high budget" bad movies to commit tax fraud when they claim the loss.
One thing that annoyed me is how long it takes to establish that it’s 2003. First I saw the phone and thought that was weird, then I saw the Beyoncé Dangerously in Love then of course Toxic, but they didn’t really do the “show don’t tell” very well. You establish a time period early in the film.
Because they do what the studio tells them to. Seriously...that's the reason they were hired. So when the Sony execs give them some ridiculous idea like the post-credit scene of Morbius and tell them to add it, there's no argument. It's just "Yes, boss...right on it." These two writers are puppets.
The fact that Madam Web literally jokes with Ben’s inevitable death and even tells him how it’s gonna happen is wild. And then ruining the iconic phrase of power and responsibility.
The reason why Power Rangers ended up 'decent' is because the two goobers didn't write the screenplay they only 'contributed' to the story which might have actually lowered quality let's be honest.
@@hotheadtxtHollywood keeps making popular ip based shows where showrunners say they don't read/like the said ip. Nothing has made sense in a long time.
it's like the writers saw what happened with morbius and thought making another bad movie would make people go watch it just for the memes again, but this one is so bad it's not even worth making jokes about it
The problem is people didn't even see Morbius, they just memed it sight unseen - Sony even re-released Morbius to theaters for the very reason you mentioned, thinking to ride the memes into a second chance at the box office, with the result of Morbius being probably the only movie in history to bomb twice
@@AttentionDeficitGuyit hilarious that it bombed twice. And their take away from this was to make another spiderless movie with the Morbius writers.. Wow
Almost the common thing said when bringing up the writers credits: Dracula Untold: "Oh God!" The Last Witch Hunter: "Oh Godddd!!!" Gods od Egypt: "Oh Godddddddd!!!!!!" Power Rangers: "Oh Go.....wait that one is actually ok." Morbius: "......Oh Goddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!"
With the way this movie looks I imagine they thought about shelving it for a tax break, but probably just banked on the idea that spiderman fans will eat up anything.
Doesn't surprise me at all actually. A lot of hot garbage gets pushed out. And never once do they think that the shit is bad. Look at morbius............
According to Sony, they wanted Andrew Garfield to make a cameo and establish him as him (and his movies) as this universes spiderman, but they decided against it for creative reasons (they thought they wanted tom instead or wanted to keep it self contained, one of the two). I'm pretty sure in actuality, Andrew kept saying no over and over while Sony were on their hands and knees begging for him, and this was their excuse as to why it didn't work out.
Andrew Garfield probably read the script and knew it was total garbage. 😂😅 His spider sense told him to stay away from this radioactive waste of a movie. 🤣
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. Then died by fricking ambulance
It's almost inspiring how Avi Arad and Amy Pascal are faithfully committed to this fool's errand of a Spider-Man cinematic universe without Spider-Man. My own parents don't believe in me nearly that much.
@@eternal-silence911 I think they just have the money to attach their name to every spider-man project that comes out so when one (rarely) succeeds they can be like LOOK GUYS WE DID GOOD
The writers truly have no imagination with the villain. Spiderman when he's no longer playing with kid gloves is a truly terrifying figure. His strength shatters bones, his agility evades all obstacles and his speed is a death sentence at close range. Combined with his precognition he is a tough foe to fight. The fact that they don't funnel even a fraction of this into simms' character is sad.
He technically showed some level of strength and speed like where he sent Madame Web like 3 meters away with a punch or him overpowering and tossing cops like they were ragdolls and also him dodging knife swings but to be fair these things are literally nothing compared to any version of Spiderman, hell MCU Cap has done better stuff. Main villain outside of his venom thing is literally evil Spiderman but 100 times weaker
That doesn't even make any fucking sense either. Why would power come *after* responsibility, when the actual line says that you have to be responsible *because* of that power? Like, what would you be responsible for if you don't already have power? It's just stupid.
No, it makes total sense why Cassandra didn't want the responsibility of saving the three girls. The whole point of her character is that she's cold and awkward, even at the beginning as a paramedic because she never could understand why her mother seemingly abandoned her and grew up in the foster care system. When she understood her past, her mother and where she came from, she could learn to make peace and forgive. Finally, she stepped into her protector role fully. It's the antithesis of Spider-Man, not that with great power comes great responsibility but that with great responsibility comes great power. She grew into her powers and they developped the more responsibility she agrees to take on, the more lives she wishes to change.
That’s true, but the movie was rushed, there were a lot of plotholes and a lot of illogical things, feels bad since the actors aren’t bad and could’ve definitely made a better film with a normal script
Remember when right after her EMT friend died in the car accident (which she clearly grieved hard over) she was in her apt and realized she “saved” the bird who flew into the window by replaying the event and opened the window so it just flew in? It randomly cuts to her in a train station (where she meets the other protagonists, who all just so happen to be in the same place while the villain is looking for them 3 specifically) maybe implying that she was going to his funeral to try and replay the event to save him (?) but suddenly just forgets about her dead EMT friend after seeing the girls and it’s literally never mentioned again, not even by Ben when she sees him later…
Nah she was just going to the funeral. I dont think it was meant to mean she could replay the event😂. Spot on about everything else though but they did use the whole "they're connected by destiny" thing to explain it away. They couldve easily just had them be classmates or even easier neighbours so it makes more sense as to why they'd take similar transport
@BruhMoment-ct5ij That's what evil spider guy said before he saw Madame web getting ready to unleash her mega web attack and then she Madame webs all over the place
4:50 I agree with Charlie’s point but I also think one of the reasons she didn’t really want to help them was because she was freaked out by the dude crawling on the wall trying to murder whoever gets in his way and also because she was overwhelmed by everything and her new powers that she just discovered. She also didn’t want to be wanted for kidnapping teens.
And here I was thinking the answer was to constantly improve my portfolio and fundamental art skills, when clearly the answer was to go to more LA conventions and hope one of the friends I make there are capable of getting me a job at Disney.
@@triipppzzz It's basically the only way in, but you also have to be willing to make mindless schlock made for nothing else but pushing a political narrative.
There were too many times where ezikiel the spider guy would be wearing his mask one scene and then a few frames later the lenzes of the mask are gone or the entire mask is just off out of no where
My favorite part of Madame Webb is when she says "It's webbin' time" and webbs all over her enemies. (Eh, doesn't really have the same ring to it as "It's morbin' time")
I work at a movie theatre. The fucking imax showing for madame web has sold like 6 tickets. The opening day had one busy show then it dropped like a fucking stone. It's DOGSHIT.
I also work at a movie theater. When people tell me they’re seeing madame web, I just say something awkward like “yeah, hope you have a good day!” ;) because I don’t know what else to say. I hope they don’t see through me.
The thing that pisses me off is it had the building blocks for a really good movie about delusion and prediction and self fulfilling prophecy but they just.. didn't do that they didn't lean into any of their ideas at all and kept it surface level like every other mediocre superhero movie, trying to be palatable to the widest audience possible by saying nothing.
@@Kevin-cl2ezhes saying that instead of trying something different or interesting they had a weird Mish mash of events and concepts to appeal to the most amount of people possible.
I got a TH-cam ad for it and there was a kid giving her a drawing to say thankyou and she turns around and says this is awful I’m gonna throw it in the bin. How can anyone possibly think this is good advertising or makes her seem in anyway likeable or funny. It’s like they purposely want it to fail.
Well the fact that she kept it and put it in the suitcase with all of her stuff of her mom..there actually a plot to why she said that in front of her co worker
@@GloomyNateit's crazy I remember being so hyped for infinity and endgame, I had posters and shit, all my friends were hyped even ones who aren't nerdy. Now all superhero stuff coming out is just boring or straight up cringe. Feels like the genre has been killed by literally years of shitty movies/shows and even games.
My favorite little tidbit is that the movie takes place TWO YEARS after 9/11, so transportation security should be TIGHT, so her going to Peru is funny to think about, like she managed to get onto a plane during that time
Also another bit. I can’t stand superhero movies using the retro motif, without even taking advantage of it. Captain Marvel was in 1995 and this one was in 2003; yet neither looked or felt like a throwback at all. There were only a handful of scenes that mildly depicted the time. But as someone who was a child of the late 90’s and early 2000’s, that wasn’t how people looked, dressed or talked. Yes they couldn’t get all the major icons due to licensing, but you can tell they didn’t try.
It pisses me off how they ruined a good character like Madame Web. I remember watching the Spiderman animated series when I was a kid in the 90’s, and the Madame Web saga were some of the most surreal and fascinating episodes of the entire series. It’s a shame how Hollywood always manages to ruin secondary comic book characters. 🤦♂️
Couple of my favorite things. Spoilers I guess if anyone cares lmao 1. Madame Web steals the Taxi and decides to remove the license plates, but the license plate is literally just the taxi code that's on the top of the car. That taxi would have been reported and pulled over that day 2. On top of that, when she flies to Peru, she mentions that it will be at least a week or two. When she gets back, she drives back to Ben's house in the SAME TAXI. How did she keep it? Did she park it at the airport? 3. The fireworks that were stored in the Pepsi building were apparently powerful enough to blow up the wall. It wasn't because the boxes exploded or anything. A singular mortar blows open a hole in the wall for them to escape through
Also, why tf did Ben take them to the hospital when the whole point was to keep them hidden and didn’t they douse the Pepsi building with water and fire extinguishing materials? How would that building be so flammable still?
Not to mention, how tf did she even get a flight to Peru? The government was looking for her and knew her face and the villain had the “nsa techonology”
@@corbin101thats what i was thinking too!! because airports have SO many cameras, and she would've had to use her passport??? which wouldve set off red flags if they were already looking for her????
Well there was an idea about "destiny" of Mme web, but the screentime was eaten to spend too much time with the spider womens. The movie take some time showing us some pregnancy/birth scene (the intro her mother getting shot/her giving birth and the baby shower and the labor in ambulance) the movie go out if his way to remember us that Mme web paramedic friend named "BEN" gonna be an "UNCLE" aka the baby is Peter Parker So I think a first draft of the movie had a focus on the fact she had a destiny to be born/live and have her power via spider bite logic, and that her destiny was intertwined with Peter Parker (her power always show up with spider ppl or when there's a danger aka spider sense and in the baby shower scene they tried to make her guess the baby name she got a premonition cuz his destiny is to become spider man.) And they add a "found family" plot with the spider women that just didn't do shit narratively
Ironically that Pepsi sign is where I took my prom pictures in Long Island City lol. It’s a beautiful park now called Gantry State Plaza but back in 03 it wasn’t really much. Just the piers
Two actors @ed marvel studios when they announced their roles, so that definitely did happen. the lead girl and another one of the main characters. Dakota johnson also fired her agent when the trailer for this movie dropped. I think we can do some mental math and piece together why.
Genuinely wouldn't surprise me. I mean when Morbius was coming out Sony were trying to state publicly that it was part of the MCU and Kevin Feige was constantly like "No it's not." so with the (then later) release of Spider-Man: No Way Home it wouldn't surprise me if Sony were saying to the actors "See? We're officially part of the MCU now!"
Cassie spends most of the film babysitting the three young ladies, surrounded by less-than-sly nods to year-2003 consumerism: vintage Pepsi products, a classic Calvin Klein ad, plus a table dance to Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” In the end, “Madame Web” feels like a cross between an extended soda commercial and a teaser trailer for still more spinoffs. “Whatever the future holds, we’ll be ready,” Cassie promises. But you don’t have to be a soothsayer to see this particular franchise is DOA - or a snob to expect better.
As a Marvel rat, this movie died whenever we first saw Ezekiel Sims in the first trailer. His backstory, his "family" that barely even gets mentioned, basically all that he represents was just way too complicated for Sony. There was no possible way they were ever going to "dumb down" something like The Inheritors. Yet another movie poisoned by Sony
@@clonegeek3317You can take something stupid and make it halfway decent to possibly good. Morlun originally was good, till they started making it needlessly complicated
Idk if it was just the theater I was at but it seemed like the dialog audio was completely out of sync fir most of the movie, to the point I thought the villain had been dubbed over by someone else. Also did anyone else notice the weird bass sounds? In the opening scene he opens the umbrella and there's a random 808 boom sound. Also thought the digital zooms and jump cuts were atrocious, any editor off fiver could do better
I still don’t understand why Sony refuses to make movies about more popular characters with actual good writers attached. It isn’t that hard for a company with that much money.
Here are some things I noted seeing this trainwreck. 1.) if you are gonna pull the plates off a taxi, Don't just fucking leave them on the ground. 2.)And why would you remove the fucking tags in the first place the god damn tag is the actual taxi number that is all over the fucking car anyway. 3.)Can anybody explain why a Pepsi-Cola factory down at the docks in Queens New York was just filled to the rafters with fireworks? The fuck are you putting in those pepsi cans? Grenades? 4.) Dude. Why the fuck would you JUMP INTO the Ambulance barreling at you. like just duck???
i noticed these too, and when I notice weird shit in movies that's how you know its bad 😭 my taste in movies isn't great, but even i didn't like this one.
5.) CPR on someone who's alive 6.) She's a wanted fugitive but managed to fly from New York to Peru 7.) The police don't keep looking for 3 missing girls 8.) The girls have no powers at all so they're dead weight 9.) How is the villain so rich 10.) How is girl whose father has been deported afford her apartment 11.) Why randomly teach the girls CPR
There are answers to some of your questions in the actual movie I just can't be asked to help you understand em, I don't know why the police are useless 😭 But 11. Is literally explained when she says he can poison Stops the heart, The CPR can offset That ykwim. i really liked the movie 😂❤
I saw the movie today. Most interesting part of the whole movie was the Columbia intro at the beginning. When a logo before a movie is better than the movie itself, you know someone shat themselves, because that's a stinker right there.
@@PinguinPascal haha yeah the cpr was pretty hilarious. The basic idea is you’re mechanically mimicking a heart beat rhythm by forcefully pressing through the breastplate, most often cracking it in the process. And I found it funny that suddenly the moment she gets called away from saving a man’s life with her little rabbit compressions, he magically wakes up, and instead of maintaining rosc, she just runs off and says he’s good to be transported haha
The funny thing is as a PARAMEDIC - Ben should know how to deliver a baby, and if he already called 911, he should be prepping his friend/girlfriend/whoever that was for delivery at that point in time. Even EMT's (you go EMT > Then paramedic) AND WE GO THROUGH SUCH AN EXTENSIVE OBGYN & DELIVERY course in EMT Becuase birth is such a dangerous thing. AND HE REALLY WAS LIKE 'I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO' I'm an EMT and even i'm facepalming at everything they're doing
What's strange is that the song is the only reason they gave for deciding to set it in 2003. Such a weird, arbitrary decision. You can use an older song in a movie set today...
Unless the writting of this movie was already made with AI I'm quite sure at least the costumes designs were generated by AI, judging from all the unnecessary lines, chin straps and added spider legs all over the costumes like AI images tends to make
What kind of connections? "I know a guy who's a producer" connections, "I know a guy who works for the mafia" connections, or "I would like to do a personal favor" connections?
This is especially maddening for me because the premise is actually exciting. It's actually incredible that they managed to make a boring psychic spider woman getting together a team of diverse spider women to fight against a brutal villain who is haunted by prophecy story, I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah. The only thing I could only think that's slightly better is a revenge story. I have never seen that brought to the big screen. Or anything really. Would've been the first with that premise.
From what I’ve gathered searching through the web. Sony needs to put out “Spider-Man” films to keep their licenses alive for the character. Doesn’t have to be a standalone Spider-Man movie. As long as it’s linked to Spider-Man the license continues with Sony. Angryjoeshow reviewed this film and also mentioned the same regarding the licensing with Sony.
I just got an ad for Madame Web right before this video where it was a clip from an interview of someone saying it's different because it "has mystery imbedded in the plot"... that says so much about how little there is to say
Mary: Ben is going to love being an uncle, because it's all the fun and none of the responsibility." Cassie: That's what he thinks. Why did they think this was clever?
“Today I owe Morbius an apology”
-Actual quote from a review of Madame Web
😭😭
Link it I wanna read em
@@gamerule18it’s a review of the movie on Rotten Tomatoes, just go there and scroll through all the reviews of the movie, you’ll eventually find it.
Someone please tell me this is a joke
@@Cursetrust Nope. Jacksfilms posted a screenshot of it.
Having Morbius and Madame Web next to each other in your resume must have the power to instantly blind whoever is reading it when trying to hire you. Back to back legendary stinkers
And yet these people WILL keep getting work.
At least Morbius was memeable, shit literally dominated meme culture back in 2022 cuz its so bad its good. Madame Web is just a plain stinker.
And I the only one who unironically liked morbius?
@@craigyeates1854I assume this comment is being ironic
@@rubyraptorhe just said he unironically likes it, but i hope hes kidding
Madame Web is truly the anti-movie. The movie no one wanted and nobody thought would ever be good. Sony has truly gone sicko mode for this
It's borderline experimental.
Fuck you for not wanting madame web
Madame Web could easily be a good film in the hands of literally any other writer, but I agree sick mode maxed out
I mean, there are a lot of films nobody “wants” but are still made, and sometimes become popular
@@Dont_Read_My_Picture
Mass report this guy right here
The real stinker is the fact that the villain is defeated by a giant Pepsi sign
Pepsi is stronger than spider-man😂
Movie so bad that Pepsi man had to come and Beat the Villain for them
Exactly, who wrote this garbage, someone who thinks Road Runner cartoons and Three Stooges are fine art?
@@GhostOfKiev2023 Those are fine art, This movie is not
@@shirothr5384 you've got a point there, Road Runner and the Three Stooges were creative and funny. The writers of Madame Web never had an original thought in their lives.
being interrupted by an ad for madame web was the icing on the cake for this video
lmao
😂😂😂😂 wow
christ imagine not using an adblock in 2024
@@cazza710 could be on mobile...
@@cazza710 😐
The fact that those two writers have only those movies to their names, and yet keep getting work is just flat out suspicious.
Either they have some serious dirt on people, or its a classic case of failing upwards
Its connections honestly
Probably nepotism.
Very few people in Hollywood and the movie scene in general are actually hired for their talent. It is the second most corrupt place in the world, second only to the Congress.
As someone who used to work in film, 90% of the people who work there are due to nepotism.
Morbius walked so that Madame Web can drown. Literally
Its webbin time
@@Dont_Read_My_Picture bot
😂😂😂😂
More like stumbled.
Wouldn't morbius have swam then? Or floated because it didn't get far...
My personal favorite nickpick is how Dakota Johnson kidnaps the girls, leaves them in the woods for 3 hours, then by the time she’s back, someone in the diner already has a newspaper about the kidnapping. How did all of that happen so quickly especially in 2003
Because of doggy writing
Can we mention that in the same general sequence, the same song is shown playing both at the diner and on the taxi radio which is a 30 minute walk away, and is still playing when Cassie gets to the diner? Not only this but Ezekiel gets to the diner after her when she walks in the vision, but before her when she drives there. The entire thing is a hot mess.
Thats not a nitpick
@@Sylvester4571 dodgy*
@@AncientCreature-i2o no. Doggy shit writing. The writing, was DOGGY
I bought tickets for this movie last night. Almost every seat in the theater was taken, and it has a capacity of about 75. When I walked in the movie theater it was packed full of Spider-Man fan boys and nerds. The film starts, and about 10 minutes into the actual movie, 30 people walk out. And throughout the span of the movie, me and 4 others were the only ones who stayed for the rest of the movie. Madame Web really isn’t as bad as you heard guys, it’s so much worse.
"Madame Web really isn’t as bad as you heard guys, it’s so much worse."
Its a level of *Shit ™* that surpasses even the most versed vocabulary.
It really surprises me that people will have the confidence to buy a ticket for a modern movie and walk in with ZERO knowledge or seeing what the vibe is.
Back when movies were consistently good sure maybe, but past few years have been a minefield of hot trash with some gems in between.
Good thing they were all somewhat resonable..
I am just wondering how many relationships ended because guys made the stupid decision to bring their gf/wives to see this awful movie on Valentines Day.
@@NeutralGuyDoubleZerothat’s why zero expectations makes shit movies so much fun
It amazes me how some producers and directors get handed 100 million dollar projects, fumble them spectacularly multiple times and just... get more jobs?
That's how the entire planet is run now. It's unforgivable.
it's called failing upwards
They probably have the softest lips and smoothest touches in Hollywood that's why .
Maybe a money laundering scheme.
Imagine how different the world could be if we spent our money a little differently...
I love how Sony clarified that it wasn't even in the same canon as Venom and Morbius, it's just its own thing. That's how little faith they had in it.
Yea they wouldn’t want to ruin their dogshit canon with even dogshittier canon
Which makes no sense. Why make a spiderman spin off that doesn't take place in the spider man universe 😭 This is the Rebel moon of Marvel
What's funny is that they didn't do that because they knew it would flop like we all knew it would it was because they at first tried making it a movie tied to Spider-Man but than realized how tf can they do that if they have a young May and Ben Parker which means he isn't even born yet. So they just ended up making it it's own thing because they didn't even plan it properly until late in the production process, that's the type of skill they have at Sony studios I really want to know how tf they ever made good Spider-Man movies without Kevin Feige helping them out.
I bet you someone did a "bribe" for this movie to happen but the Sony investors weren't satisfied enough
That they just gave that certain person a bare minimum
Wait, is Morbius still canon to Sony's Spiderverse (?).
An even worse example of how much thought was put into this movie is how is Casey able to book a plane ticket to Peru, in New York, while being wanted by the police for an alleged kidnapping AND while evil guy has her face and can track her every move.
Also this was set in like 2003, 2 years after 9/11. I was just born but my parents will tell you it was a NIGHTMARE traveling then even when you’re not wanted for… ya
And she returns after 1 week exactly at the time to save them when the villain finally tracks them down
i yelled satirically at my tv for this when i noticed it on my first watch
You failed to mention how the villain’s voice hardly ever matched his lips. It’s almost like they scratched 80% of his lines and had him just voice over everything.
Hollywood films are lazy af. WWZ had that problem too. Rewrites cost a lot of money. Especially if you rewrite the entire damn movie. If you have to rewrite an entire movie, that's probably saying that you shouldn't be making it. And no one wants to see embarrassing dubbing.
I thought I was tripping during his dialogue. It barely matched
I bet they did like three or four re-writes lmao the people telling the inevitable story of this train wreck production should be interesting
@@jjcoola998Surely the original versions couldn’t be as bad
Thats actually par for the course for Hollywood, almost no audio from set is ever used. However I think that actually speaks to your point more, they literally couldn’t be bothered to match up his dialogue like every other movie in existence.
The true mystery here is how the hell the writers from Morbius got to write another movie. I want whatever dirt they have on Sony to keep getting hired.
@KarthikNarasimhan-jg3mk Yeah but so would I, and my script would be better, too. There has to be more to it than that.
they HAVE to be nepos or something, I swear
They know people.
It's hollywood. Half of them are nepo babies and the other half are DEI hires. People literally fail upwards in industries now.
Morbius was actually goo
Dakota Johnson switched agencies after signing on for this film and when it was announced she was cast in this movie, she and the other leads tagged Marvel Studios on Twitter instead of Sony. So the speculation is that she thought she had signed on to a Marvel Studios movie. When she realized it was not a Marvel Studios movie but a Sony movie, she got mad at fired her agency. Which is hilarious if that’s true.
How the f does that even happen?.
@@cosmancho2959 Rich kid. Never actually does or learns anything, just asks people to do things.
@@googleapocalypse1967No cause it’s her agency’s job to find and get her roles. Nothing to do with bein a “rich kid” dumbass
that funny, she probably didnt even bother reading the script up until the first day of filming. i knew this film was going to flop since i though it was going to be a series or something since madame web was always use as a plot device for spiderman. without spiderman she just a senile old woman lol. as a series it could work if they pace it better or make it into a murder mystery and by the end of the series she finally assume the role of madame web.
If true, meaning bs
The funniest part is the CPR scene. she literally is tapping on his chest when she’s supposed to be pressing hard enough to literally break his rib cage
You know it’s bad when Charlie doesn’t hold back the spoilers
Literally nobody cares about this abomination
bc he knows we arent gonna watch it anyway 😂
There are no spoilers when there’s no plot
Whose gonna watch it anyway?
Oh I watched it...
I'll never get that time or money back. What's worse, I'm stuck with the memory of it🤦🏾♀️😩😠
What's funny and sad is that theres a review on rotten tomatoes saying that they own an apology towards Morbius for saying it's awful
Oh... oh no.
For saying it's awful* You don't need the "that".
@@bofasofa9399I understand that you don’t like the grammar that he was using
Tbf, Morbius is so bad it's good. It will go down as a great campy movie.
It was doomed when they hired Morbius writers.
Charlie audience is cringe like you
What’s funny is I bet it’s worse than morbius😭
They morbed too hard apparently. Assuming that joke isn't dead already.
bazinga
Man Sony can’t movie make for shit
I fell asleep towards the end of the movie. I woke up after she got blind. I asked my girl, "did she get blind?" she was like "I'm not sure, I fell asleep too"
Lmao 😂😂
He has the power to poison people by gripping them tightly? When your villain's power is less effective than a gun it's time for a rewrite.
Sounds like he should be recreated as one of Spidey's C List foes.
Less effective than a gun is crazy😂😂😂 what a lame fucking villain
He’s actually immune to bullets
Uuhhmmm beside having super strength and super high speed and durability you mean?!! 😅
@@alihosseinzadeh6020 Yeah, but like every other villain has that for some reason so high speed, durability, and strength doesn't really mean much after that.
One of the craziest things about this movie was Sonys attempt to stealth birth Peter Parker in this movie. There is an entire subplot where they have to drive a pregnant woman to the hospital, and you dont learn this woman is Mary Parker before you see her name in the credits. Nowhere in the movie do they say the babys name is Peter or that her last name is "Parker". You also learn that Webs nurse friend "Ben" is actually uncle ben in the credits.
If producers thought I ll understand it without someone in internet pointing it out to me, they are hi on smth
that is almost pitiful, really.
Craziest thing is they think we'd wait for end credits to roll.
I dont even go to the cinema anymore lmao, and at home ofc im going to close the movie before the 10 mins scrolling of irrelevant mf's names.
Im not waiting for Hulk to lift a rock in the post cred scene or wtvr the fck
Im like 90% sure that her name was mentioned at least once in the movie, so with that and from Ben referring to her as his sister in law is where you have to piece together that the baby is Peter Parker. Regardless though it definitely was stealthed
...I really really hate to be 'that guy' but someone will say it if I dont, yada yada I think it's meant to be the birth of his father or mother because may and ben are his aunt and uncle, not his mom and dad yada yada.
that's a really snobby thing to comment but that aside I agree %100 that it's rather pathetic seeing sony trying to have their cake and eat it too. again, apologies
The villains acting was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced in 27 years
XD
Eey I'm also 27 😂
We the same age as Gordon Freeman λ
Twilight had some legendary acting too!
List your top 5 worst villain things people
@@Dont_Read_My_Picturesure,i wont. you're welcome!
Something really terrible must have happened 27 years ago
The way the bad guys lines sounded worse than S1 Hawkmoth is crazy
That is... a really, *really* low bar too.
And it still failed to meet it@@nicklapallo9090
Noway
It can't be more generic than his lines
He sounded great btw
We bout to get evilized with this one
"why even make it" I'm convinced that the only way Sony can hold the rights to Spider-Man's IP is they have to at least put out a spider-man related movie every few years
This and the fact that they still make a profit from each movie
@@pepinowhite5014 Morbius was a Bomb and this scene like is gonna be ANOTHER one.
@@johnalbertwrestling Covid done took the taste right out ya mouth😞
@@pepinowhite5014How do they make profit?
Again Charlie mentioned it but it seemed like a lot was taken from the film,which tracks as Morbius also had a lot of stuff taken away from the original product.Idk Sony is like the little annoying brother of Marvel,they want to be a part of The Mcu so bad but doesn't want Disney to buy them,so I guess these movies are just there version of having a tantrum.
It’s horrible. They snubbed my name from the credits. I was one of the Production Assistants from the entirety of principle photography and they ended up not crediting half of us. I’m still on IMDB but it was very upsetting after learning my name was snubbed
Damn thats seriously shitty. But on the bright side, you might actually be glad your names not on this in the future
If this is a real thing (sorry for doubting - it is the internet after all...), I'm sorry you're not getting credit for your work.
I would be thanking them for not including me in the credits of this dumpster fire of a movie
Only half ironically speaking here but man, do you really want your name attached to this one?
The guys putting the credits together might've just done you a favor.
To be honest@@bigcooltony437
Starting to agree with an old movie called "The Producers". In it the producers were intentionally making "high budget" bad movies to commit tax fraud when they claim the loss.
you have not seen the producers
Makes sense
Arent they taking donations to run a horrible show under budget so they can cut and run with the difference?
Trust me, it won’t be long before someone deliberately makes movies just to cancel them after production ended to score tax write offs.
@@Rexter2k uhh, you should see what David Zaslav do to WB movies
One thing that annoyed me is how long it takes to establish that it’s 2003. First I saw the phone and thought that was weird, then I saw the Beyoncé Dangerously in Love then of course Toxic, but they didn’t really do the “show don’t tell” very well. You establish a time period early in the film.
I think they say it in the very beginning of the film after the sequence with her mom
Same I forgot until Toxic came on
Someone’s resume includes Gods of Egypt , the last witch hunter and Morbius and the studios first thought is “you’re HIRED!” ?
Gods of Egypt and Last Witch Hunter were both good movies imo. Way better than Morbius.
God's of egypt didn't make any sense at all. The most obvious mistake was that the gods bled gold. THAT'S FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY.
Because they do what the studio tells them to. Seriously...that's the reason they were hired. So when the Sony execs give them some ridiculous idea like the post-credit scene of Morbius and tell them to add it, there's no argument. It's just "Yes, boss...right on it." These two writers are puppets.
Last Witch Hunter and Dracule Untold are good imo, easily above Morbius atleast
@@necro7612 i mean they are fucking mid AF but its cute that you think that
The fact that Madam Web literally jokes with Ben’s inevitable death and even tells him how it’s gonna happen is wild. And then ruining the iconic phrase of power and responsibility.
It's common nowadays of ppl joking about canon stuff
It's annoyingly common. It was fun but now everyone making it as excuse of making bad movies
@@3takoyakisheeeeyyeyeeeaaayeyeaayeayea
It's dumb writers trying to sound smart by using 4th wall breaks and irony
@@clursunnyI say hey! What's going on! :D
When did that happen
The reason why Power Rangers ended up 'decent' is because the two goobers didn't write the screenplay they only 'contributed' to the story which might have actually lowered quality let's be honest.
Was going to say this. I said the same thing.
how do these people keep getting work? I'm genuinely curious.
Ya power rangers was entertaining & a strong meh, it's not offensively bad like morbius.
@@hotheadtxt rich parents idk
@@hotheadtxtHollywood keeps making popular ip based shows where showrunners say they don't read/like the said ip. Nothing has made sense in a long time.
Morbius walked so Madam web could fall and chip a tooth
it's like the writers saw what happened with morbius and thought making another bad movie would make people go watch it just for the memes again, but this one is so bad it's not even worth making jokes about it
They dont make bad movies on purpose they just dont have talent
@@axolotl1777 that does make way more sense
The problem is people didn't even see Morbius, they just memed it sight unseen - Sony even re-released Morbius to theaters for the very reason you mentioned, thinking to ride the memes into a second chance at the box office, with the result of Morbius being probably the only movie in history to bomb twice
@@AttentionDeficitGuyit hilarious that it bombed twice. And their take away from this was to make another spiderless movie with the Morbius writers..
Wow
...They really did release Morbius a third time
Can we just appreciate how good a friend Aaron is, if not for him Charlie would still be asleep in that theater.
True, if he didn't wake up Charlie he would've to watch the movie all over again.
I wouldn’t even let my worst enemies watch this movie
How very smart of Sony to bank on overwhelming success of Morbius movie by hiring the same writers.
I mean, they re-released the movie because they thought all the Morbius memes were legit praising the movie, talk about being out of touch
@@thepoleontheroad For real?
@@Calc_Ulator Yes. Almost got them to do a third release lmao.
@@Calc_UlatorYes, they legit took the memes seriously and put out a second release in theaters. It was hilariously out of touch.
@@Ducaso Do they even live in the same plane as us lower lifeforms?
Almost the common thing said when bringing up the writers credits:
Dracula Untold: "Oh God!"
The Last Witch Hunter: "Oh Godddd!!!"
Gods od Egypt: "Oh Godddddddd!!!!!!"
Power Rangers: "Oh Go.....wait that one is actually ok."
Morbius: "......Oh Goddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!"
It baffles me that this movie was approved, filmed, and released without anyone being like “Hm maybe this movie isn’t good”
Well, even if they all knew the movie was garbage, once the train gets rolling, it ain't gonna stop cause nobody likes it.
The cast knew it was trash
They have to be doing it out of spite at this point just so the MCU doesn’t get the other spidey characters
With the way this movie looks I imagine they thought about shelving it for a tax break, but probably just banked on the idea that spiderman fans will eat up anything.
Doesn't surprise me at all actually. A lot of hot garbage gets pushed out. And never once do they think that the shit is bad. Look at morbius............
According to Sony, they wanted Andrew Garfield to make a cameo and establish him as him (and his movies) as this universes spiderman, but they decided against it for creative reasons (they thought they wanted tom instead or wanted to keep it self contained, one of the two).
I'm pretty sure in actuality, Andrew kept saying no over and over while Sony were on their hands and knees begging for him, and this was their excuse as to why it didn't work out.
If they couldn't get the guy that makes the movie work, then they shouldn't have done it :/
But, y'know, CORPORATE GREED.
Who’s dubbing Sony ☠️
Source?
Andrew Garfield probably read the script and knew it was total garbage. 😂😅 His spider sense told him to stay away from this radioactive waste of a movie. 🤣
Andrew stated unless marvel is involved he wont work with sony
So his one weakness is being hit with ambulances?
Mine too 🤷🏻♂️
His name is Yoshikage Kira.....
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
Then died by fricking ambulance
You've been hit by.. you've been struck by.. a SMOOTH CRIMINAL
@@DugFin2nah wtf
are you saying shooting you w a gun doesnt kill you
my favorite part of this review is at one point....he just casually burps and never edited out
absolutely zero fucks
Madame Web is the world's punishment for memeing on Morbius two years ago
No way Morbius was 2 years ago bruh I remember the hype like it was last month
😢
@@shiruotakuno28Aware
Madame Web is definitely one of the movies of all time tho
I love the part where Madame Webb says'' I can see the future...''
And the girls are like, ''I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye''
Madam Webb: you took my mother from me. She loved me.
Lmao. “ SEE YA CHUMP”
It's almost inspiring how Avi Arad and Amy Pascal are faithfully committed to this fool's errand of a Spider-Man cinematic universe without Spider-Man. My own parents don't believe in me nearly that much.
I don't understand how those two are still in the business, they literally only make things worse
They're blackmailing sony, may be?@@-Teague-
@@eternal-silence911 I think they just have the money to attach their name to every spider-man project that comes out so when one (rarely) succeeds they can be like LOOK GUYS WE DID GOOD
@@-Teague-and they have to beg Kevin Fiege for help in making anything in this universe watchable
The writers truly have no imagination with the villain. Spiderman when he's no longer playing with kid gloves is a truly terrifying figure. His strength shatters bones, his agility evades all obstacles and his speed is a death sentence at close range. Combined with his precognition he is a tough foe to fight. The fact that they don't funnel even a fraction of this into simms' character is sad.
He technically showed some level of strength and speed like where he sent Madame Web like 3 meters away with a punch or him overpowering and tossing cops like they were ragdolls and also him dodging knife swings but to be fair these things are literally nothing compared to any version of Spiderman, hell MCU Cap has done better stuff. Main villain outside of his venom thing is literally evil Spiderman but 100 times weaker
i audibly laughed out loud when that random dude said “When you take on the responsibility, great power will come”
Oh man they're still doing that paraphrasing bullshit? Did they learn nothing from ASM?
Oh my god.
Bro some people at my theater myself included laughed too 😂
That doesn't even make any fucking sense either. Why would power come *after* responsibility, when the actual line says that you have to be responsible *because* of that power? Like, what would you be responsible for if you don't already have power? It's just stupid.
@@nagger8216 i’m glad i wasn’t the only one to acknowledge that
the line "it's madame webin time" lives rent free in my head now
😭😭😭
As a morb, i can confirm that i am extremely jealous
I don't know if that's really in the movie or not
@@sonofabaguette2202 It is. It definitely is.
Imagine if someone got Ezekiel a snickers bar, whole movie would have no main villain.
This is such a cute comment tbh
Hey Ezekiel, have a snickers, you're not you when you're hungry.
No, it makes total sense why Cassandra didn't want the responsibility of saving the three girls. The whole point of her character is that she's cold and awkward, even at the beginning as a paramedic because she never could understand why her mother seemingly abandoned her and grew up in the foster care system. When she understood her past, her mother and where she came from, she could learn to make peace and forgive. Finally, she stepped into her protector role fully. It's the antithesis of Spider-Man, not that with great power comes great responsibility but that with great responsibility comes great power. She grew into her powers and they developped the more responsibility she agrees to take on, the more lives she wishes to change.
That’s true, but the movie was rushed, there were a lot of plotholes and a lot of illogical things, feels bad since the actors aren’t bad and could’ve definitely made a better film with a normal script
@@apzypz definitely. It's a shame though, I could see the potential
Right! but they were just trying to show the Origin I assume yk. it's not the best movie but I enjoyed and I will enjoy following this story
She shouldn’t have been a paramedic then, she’s only a paramedic for chest compressions
@@Anon-qp3kt what in the hell do you mean? I'm not proud of it but I'm awkward as hell and I'm a paramedic I get it
How can you forget the iconic scene: "it's madame webin time"
Truly the pinnacle of cinematography.
“It’s Nadeemin Time”
Shut up joke isn’t funny anymore
@@anthonylesley982 We get it you really like morbin
@@anthonylesley982 at the very LEAST, 513 people disagree with you lmao
Probably won't catch it in cinema but hopefully I'll see it when they release it the 2nd time
Remember when right after her EMT friend died in the car accident (which she clearly grieved hard over) she was in her apt and realized she “saved” the bird who flew into the window by replaying the event and opened the window so it just flew in? It randomly cuts to her in a train station (where she meets the other protagonists, who all just so happen to be in the same place while the villain is looking for them 3 specifically) maybe implying that she was going to his funeral to try and replay the event to save him (?) but suddenly just forgets about her dead EMT friend after seeing the girls and it’s literally never mentioned again, not even by Ben when she sees him later…
They really did my boy Mike Epp dirty......
I didn't even know it was Mike Epps until the moment before he died. Lmao
@@themusicaljunkie37I thought it was a bootleg lookin Mike Epps lmao
Nah she was just going to the funeral. I dont think it was meant to mean she could replay the event😂. Spot on about everything else though but they did use the whole "they're connected by destiny" thing to explain it away. They couldve easily just had them be classmates or even easier neighbours so it makes more sense as to why they'd take similar transport
My favorite part was when John Madameweb told her "Woah, it's like you're some kind of Madame Web" and then she Madame Webbed all over the place
we're doing this again huh 💀
@BruhMoment-ct5ij That's what evil spider guy said before he saw Madame web getting ready to unleash her mega web attack and then she Madame webs all over the place
💀💀💀
I hate this meme with a passion
Well, at least you tried.
4:50 I agree with Charlie’s point but I also think one of the reasons she didn’t really want to help them was because she was freaked out by the dude crawling on the wall trying to murder whoever gets in his way and also because she was overwhelmed by everything and her new powers that she just discovered. She also didn’t want to be wanted for kidnapping teens.
I'm convinced we're entering an era of chatgbt scripts that were created during the writers strike
My best friend said that we've probably seen fully AI generated movies already, and this was probably one of them.
and to mention wish was probably one of them
saying you don’t know if your movie is good is crazy💀
We’re all gonna hate it anyways
And yet so common these days 😂
right lol
Because she's not allowed to say it's bad, but has too much of a conscience to say it's good.
It’s good as shit good shit good as gooky 😝
this duo making movies still just shows how powerful having connections can be
And here I was thinking the answer was to constantly improve my portfolio and fundamental art skills, when clearly the answer was to go to more LA conventions and hope one of the friends I make there are capable of getting me a job at Disney.
@@JeffreyThrash unironically thats probably the best way in
@@triipppzzz It's basically the only way in, but you also have to be willing to make mindless schlock made for nothing else but pushing a political narrative.
@@RipRLeeErmey There's no political narrative being pushed in Madame Web lmao. It's just bad -- it's not that deep.
@@JeffreyThrash This isn't Disney. This is a Sony product
There were too many times where ezikiel the spider guy would be wearing his mask one scene and then a few frames later the lenzes of the mask are gone or the entire mask is just off out of no where
The fact Charlie didn’t realize it was Peter Parker being born not just a random baby shows how bad this movie was
That was supposed to be peter parker?
Wait what
There’s no way they made Peter Parker May’s biological son and not her nephew 😂
@@jakeakajake614 I think the woman wasn't Ben's wife, but his sister
@@jakeakajake614About that...... The comics.......
The marketing movie was so bad that I seriously didn’t know it existed until it just came out.
@@Dont_Read_My_Pictureget a job
@@Dont_Read_My_Picture i'm keyboard
When I saw the trailer ad I thought it was a knock off/parody movie
@@Dont_Read_My_PictureBRO GET OUT OF HERE 12 COMMENTS YOU’RE HERE STOP
I got like one ad for it and that was it.
If we somehow gaslight Sony into rereleasing madam web into theaters again like we did with Morbious then that would be an epic win
From this point forward Madame Webb is the greatest movie to ever grace the silver screen
My favorite part of Madame Webb is when she says "It's webbin' time" and webbs all over her enemies.
(Eh, doesn't really have the same ring to it as "It's morbin' time")
@@deen7530Madame Webb can web on me if you know what sayin' 😈😈😈
@@deen7530 Doesn't have the same ring but we can workshop it.
This made Morbius and Green Lantern look like Infinity War 😭😭😭
The villain sounds like his motivation is that spiders pushed his parents off a cliff
Nobody spidered me when spiders spidered my spidamily
"Not just the Spidermen, but the spiderwomen and spiderchildren too!"
The spider in Charlotte’s Web didn’t save the pig from being killed to be turned into thanksgiving dinner. That’s why he hates spiders. 😔
Cruella vibes
I work at a movie theatre. The fucking imax showing for madame web has sold like 6 tickets.
The opening day had one busy show then it dropped like a fucking stone. It's DOGSHIT.
Lmao 😂
That's just perfect! 😂👌
WHY IS THIS MOVIE SHOWING IN IMAX??
I also work at a movie theater. When people tell me they’re seeing madame web, I just say something awkward like “yeah, hope you have a good day!” ;) because I don’t know what else to say. I hope they don’t see through me.
@@webbedshadow2601 probably cause the only other movie out right now is Bob Marley’s one. And that likely already has an IMAX showing
The thing that pisses me off is it had the building blocks for a really good movie about delusion and prediction and self fulfilling prophecy but they just.. didn't do that they didn't lean into any of their ideas at all and kept it surface level like every other mediocre superhero movie, trying to be palatable to the widest audience possible by saying nothing.
?
@@Kevin-cl2ez ?
@@Kevin-cl2ezhes saying that instead of trying something different or interesting they had a weird Mish mash of events and concepts to appeal to the most amount of people possible.
@@spacepimpkevin1184 ah ty, I'm not good at social context so I couldn't tell if the reply was a question or not
6:45 "other than his cheese touch and ability to crawl on walls he doesn't really do much else" i'm dead
Best iteration of madame web we’ll ever have is literally Spiderman Shattered dimensions and I stand on that
Oh yeah that was awesome
Don't forget Spider-Man TAS
ISHOWMEAT FANUM TAXED THAT GLIZZY IN OHIO SIGMA LIGMA GRIMACE SHAKE GYATTISTIC OHIO RIZZLERS KAI CENAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😩😩😩😦😫😫😫
@@MarvelSonicFan04i agree.
i was so excited for this movie because of that game. I am thoroughly disappointed.
Thanos looking at Morbius: Perhaps I treated you too harshly.
😂😂😂
That movie is dookie too
Walter White spittin facts rn
@@EternalNightingale nuh uh
@@EternalNightingaleyes but compared to Madame Web it is a master piece 😂
I got a TH-cam ad for it and there was a kid giving her a drawing to say thankyou and she turns around and says this is awful I’m gonna throw it in the bin. How can anyone possibly think this is good advertising or makes her seem in anyway likeable or funny. It’s like they purposely want it to fail.
Making fun of kids' art for humour is literally what Maddox was doing in like, 2005 and it wasn't funny then 😂
Well the fact that she kept it and put it in the suitcase with all of her stuff of her mom..there actually a plot to why she said that in front of her co worker
I feel like an office of executives is watching this rn and the writers are sitting with their heads down like they’re gonna be in time out
It really seems like ever since Endgame, The superhero movie hype has died down significantly.
imo every single movie after endgame has been dogshit. literal money maker films without an ounce of creativity
@@GloomyNateit's crazy I remember being so hyped for infinity and endgame, I had posters and shit, all my friends were hyped even ones who aren't nerdy. Now all superhero stuff coming out is just boring or straight up cringe. Feels like the genre has been killed by literally years of shitty movies/shows and even games.
@@GloomyNate even spider man no way home??
@@GloomyNate Shang-Chi and Guardians 3 were fire though.
Guardians 3, Across the spiderverse were great, but yeah 99% of superhero movies are mid to just downright bad.
My favorite little tidbit is that the movie takes place TWO YEARS after 9/11, so transportation security should be TIGHT, so her going to Peru is funny to think about, like she managed to get onto a plane during that time
This is true, but ir does feel a little like the turning red guy
@@alejandrorivas4585 Mr enter moment
And she's a wanted fugitive
My favorite line in the movie was when the protagonist said "First name, Madame. Last name, Web." Peak Spiderman movie.
Her last name is actually Webb
"Spider Girls do it better!
It's Madame Webbing Time!"
This should be the new replacement for the "mobin time" meme
@@the_seer_0421 still waiting for morbius 2: more bius
@@the_seer_0421Not worthy enough
Also another bit. I can’t stand superhero movies using the retro motif, without even taking advantage of it. Captain Marvel was in 1995 and this one was in 2003; yet neither looked or felt like a throwback at all. There were only a handful of scenes that mildly depicted the time. But as someone who was a child of the late 90’s and early 2000’s, that wasn’t how people looked, dressed or talked. Yes they couldn’t get all the major icons due to licensing, but you can tell they didn’t try.
Damn "cheese touch" was always the superpower I wanted
Bro about to tell everyone he ate the cheese
It pisses me off how they ruined a good character like Madame Web. I remember watching the Spiderman animated series when I was a kid in the 90’s, and the Madame Web saga were some of the most surreal and fascinating episodes of the entire series. It’s a shame how Hollywood always manages to ruin secondary comic book characters. 🤦♂️
Eh, Madame Web isn't really all that important a character in Spider-Man
@@clonegeek3317bro she is literally one of the MOST important 😭 they did her so dirty
@@8irchNo, she really isn't. Read some actual Spidey comics
He didn't say that @@clonegeek3317
@@clonegeek3317 💀 ima jus pretend u didnt say this
Couple of my favorite things. Spoilers I guess if anyone cares lmao
1. Madame Web steals the Taxi and decides to remove the license plates, but the license plate is literally just the taxi code that's on the top of the car. That taxi would have been reported and pulled over that day
2. On top of that, when she flies to Peru, she mentions that it will be at least a week or two. When she gets back, she drives back to Ben's house in the SAME TAXI. How did she keep it? Did she park it at the airport?
3. The fireworks that were stored in the Pepsi building were apparently powerful enough to blow up the wall. It wasn't because the boxes exploded or anything. A singular mortar blows open a hole in the wall for them to escape through
Same thought about the last one, it’s one step down from having a silhouette of one the main characters that just went through a brick wall
Also, why tf did Ben take them to the hospital when the whole point was to keep them hidden and didn’t they douse the Pepsi building with water and fire extinguishing materials? How would that building be so flammable still?
Not to mention, how tf did she even get a flight to Peru? The government was looking for her and knew her face and the villain had the “nsa techonology”
Damn I need me those fireworks 😂
@@corbin101thats what i was thinking too!! because airports have SO many cameras, and she would've had to use her passport??? which wouldve set off red flags if they were already looking for her????
madame web is literally a roleplay fantasy irl
I love when actors openly dislike content they’re in and you can tell it was fuelled over time lmao
Disney star wars
You can tell the script was changed a lot. There are several scenes where the bad guy is blatantly dubbed over.
Yeah he's clearly moving around and being physically intense but it's the same grim whisper at all times ridiculous lol
Well there was an idea about "destiny" of Mme web, but the screentime was eaten to spend too much time with the spider womens.
The movie take some time showing us some pregnancy/birth scene (the intro her mother getting shot/her giving birth and the baby shower and the labor in ambulance) the movie go out if his way to remember us that Mme web paramedic friend named "BEN" gonna be an "UNCLE" aka the baby is Peter Parker
So I think a first draft of the movie had a focus on the fact she had a destiny to be born/live and have her power via spider bite logic, and that her destiny was intertwined with Peter Parker (her power always show up with spider ppl or when there's a danger aka spider sense and in the baby shower scene they tried to make her guess the baby name she got a premonition cuz his destiny is to become spider man.)
And they add a "found family" plot with the spider women that just didn't do shit narratively
If this is the edited version god knows how bad the original was
When madame web said its madame webbin' time and madame webbed the entire theater through the screen Morbius knew that he had found his true successor
I didn't know that line was still relevant. And in all seriousness, I am very happy it is.
Ironically that Pepsi sign is where I took my prom pictures in Long Island City lol. It’s a beautiful park now called Gantry State Plaza but back in 03 it wasn’t really much. Just the piers
i live in long
4:04 "it is baffling that anyone sign off to it", there are theories that the cast got tricked into thinking they were joining the MCU
Two actors @ed marvel studios when they announced their roles, so that definitely did happen. the lead girl and another one of the main characters. Dakota johnson also fired her agent when the trailer for this movie dropped. I think we can do some mental math and piece together why.
Dakota is literally emotionless during all advertisement for this movie
I guess she really did tricked
She knew the film going to fail too lol
Genuinely wouldn't surprise me. I mean when Morbius was coming out Sony were trying to state publicly that it was part of the MCU and Kevin Feige was constantly like "No it's not." so with the (then later) release of Spider-Man: No Way Home it wouldn't surprise me if Sony were saying to the actors "See? We're officially part of the MCU now!"
Cassie spends most of the film babysitting the three young ladies, surrounded by less-than-sly nods to year-2003 consumerism: vintage Pepsi products, a classic Calvin Klein ad, plus a table dance to Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” In the end, “Madame Web” feels like a cross between an extended soda commercial and a teaser trailer for still more spinoffs. “Whatever the future holds, we’ll be ready,” Cassie promises. But you don’t have to be a soothsayer to see this particular franchise is DOA - or a snob to expect better.
Bro thinks he's giving a review
AI
As a Marvel rat, this movie died whenever we first saw Ezekiel Sims in the first trailer. His backstory, his "family" that barely even gets mentioned, basically all that he represents was just way too complicated for Sony. There was no possible way they were ever going to "dumb down" something like The Inheritors. Yet another movie poisoned by Sony
The Inheritors were stupid to begin with
@@clonegeek3317 However right you may be (lmao), Sony sill could've done better
@@clonegeek3317Literally only good in their first appearance including Sims to my knowledge.
@@clonegeek3317You can take something stupid and make it halfway decent to possibly good. Morlun originally was good, till they started making it needlessly complicated
@@namesdontmattergaming2756 That's called getting Dan Slott on the title
Idk if it was just the theater I was at but it seemed like the dialog audio was completely out of sync fir most of the movie, to the point I thought the villain had been dubbed over by someone else. Also did anyone else notice the weird bass sounds? In the opening scene he opens the umbrella and there's a random 808 boom sound. Also thought the digital zooms and jump cuts were atrocious, any editor off fiver could do better
Yeah the villains audio was dubbed in post production cos it was re written multiple times
I still don’t understand why Sony refuses to make movies about more popular characters with actual good writers attached. It isn’t that hard for a company with that much money.
Maybe they are cheaping out? I'm not sure why they would do that though.
Because Sony sucks
same reason god of war turned into the last of us
@@numbersbubblebro what? What are you even talking about?
Because modern movies are just money laundering schemes
Sony, just sell your rights at this point. Holy hell this is horrendous. The only thing I’m looking forward to is Deadpool and Wolverine.
Don'. Just don't.
Say what you will about post-Endgame MCU, but I'd still trust them any day with Spiderman's characters over Sony.
@notmyrealname7163 yeah, spider-verse be the only one hard carrying sony's garbage ass movies.
@@notmyrealname7163are you sure about that Sony kept making horrible Spider-Man movies again
@@notmyrealname7163 Spider-Verse is pretty dope, I’ll give you that.
Here are some things I noted seeing this trainwreck.
1.) if you are gonna pull the plates off a taxi, Don't just fucking leave them on the ground.
2.)And why would you remove the fucking tags in the first place the god damn tag is the actual taxi number that is all over the fucking car anyway.
3.)Can anybody explain why a Pepsi-Cola factory down at the docks in Queens New York was just filled to the rafters with fireworks? The fuck are you putting in those pepsi cans? Grenades?
4.) Dude. Why the fuck would you JUMP INTO the Ambulance barreling at you. like just duck???
I noticed something lmao. The girls made a fire in the forest snd completely left it unattended in the middle of the forest to go eat 😂
i noticed these too, and when I notice weird shit in movies that's how you know its bad 😭 my taste in movies isn't great, but even i didn't like this one.
5.) CPR on someone who's alive
6.) She's a wanted fugitive but managed to fly from New York to Peru
7.) The police don't keep looking for 3 missing girls
8.) The girls have no powers at all so they're dead weight
9.) How is the villain so rich
10.) How is girl whose father has been deported afford her apartment
11.) Why randomly teach the girls CPR
There are answers to some of your questions in the actual movie I just can't be asked to help you understand em, I don't know why the police are useless 😭 But 11. Is literally explained when she says he can poison Stops the heart, The CPR can offset That ykwim. i really liked the movie 😂❤
He didn't see it 😭 he didn't know what the hell was happening, He's not the best villain 😭
Don't forget about the motion sickness inducing ambulance scene and all of the pepsi product placement
I saw the movie today. Most interesting part of the whole movie was the Columbia intro at the beginning.
When a logo before a movie is better than the movie itself, you know someone shat themselves, because that's a stinker right there.
You know a movie is in big trouble when Sony brought back the writing team of Morbius to write the script for Madame Web
Nahh morbius was a bangggggerrr. ITS MORBIN TIME!!
good point lol
As an EMT, the portrayal of EMS was hilarious. It felt satirical and dead serious at the same time.
I'm no paramedic, but the CPR looked hideously bad and Cassie even got revived twice and shook it off like it was nothing.
It's amberlamps time
@@PinguinPascal haha yeah the cpr was pretty hilarious. The basic idea is you’re mechanically mimicking a heart beat rhythm by forcefully pressing through the breastplate, most often cracking it in the process. And I found it funny that suddenly the moment she gets called away from saving a man’s life with her little rabbit compressions, he magically wakes up, and instead of maintaining rosc, she just runs off and says he’s good to be transported haha
same here. im an emt-b but seeing the medics trying to do pt care inside that upside down car scene made me laugh.
As a Naruto fan, when I see, “EMS” all I see is Eternal Mangekyuo Sharingan
The funny thing is as a PARAMEDIC - Ben should know how to deliver a baby, and if he already called 911, he should be prepping his friend/girlfriend/whoever that was for delivery at that point in time. Even EMT's (you go EMT > Then paramedic) AND WE GO THROUGH SUCH AN EXTENSIVE OBGYN & DELIVERY course in EMT Becuase birth is such a dangerous thing. AND HE REALLY WAS LIKE 'I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO' I'm an EMT and even i'm facepalming at everything they're doing
Did anyone else notice how they used Toxic by Britney Spears and the movie takes place in 2003 but the song wasn't released until January 12, 2004?
released December 2003, but even before that they had released CDs
What's strange is that the song is the only reason they gave for deciding to set it in 2003. Such a weird, arbitrary decision. You can use an older song in a movie set today...
the only thing crazier than that is the fact that theyre superhero spider women & see in the future
The guy on the train is playing a PSP and those weren’t invented til 2005
The real mystery here is how these directors and writers keep getting jobs. This movie was the biggest advertisement for A.I. writing I’ve ever seen
Unless the writting of this movie was already made with AI
I'm quite sure at least the costumes designs were generated by AI, judging from all the unnecessary lines, chin straps and added spider legs all over the costumes like AI images tends to make
I seen the movie and it looks like it was written by a Ai
The fact these guys’ careers didn’t end after Gods of Egypt proves that having connections is more important than having any actual talent.
Harsh but true, connections really do help alot.
What kind of connections? "I know a guy who's a producer" connections, "I know a guy who works for the mafia" connections, or "I would like to do a personal favor" connections?
I mean gods of Egypt wasn't the best but it was a cool adventure movie
discount spider man fails miserably at chasing 3 normal girls
This is especially maddening for me because the premise is actually exciting. It's actually incredible that they managed to make a boring psychic spider woman getting together a team of diverse spider women to fight against a brutal villain who is haunted by prophecy story, I didn't think that was possible.
the premise is the exact opposite of exciting....are you high?
@@acatinatux9601the premise is dogshit however there's still SOMETHING that could be done with it.... they did nothing with this 😂
@@acatinatux9601No shit. He was obviously joking
Yeah. The only thing I could only think that's slightly better is a revenge story. I have never seen that brought to the big screen. Or anything really. Would've been the first with that premise.
@@acatinatux9601 Wait what's the issue?
Why is Sony chasing Spider-Man IP movies without actually using Spider-Man, or committing to any of their available cinematic universes?
Incompetence.
I mean they still own Spiderman, they could be setting him up to be yanked back with that marvel fame
From what I’ve gathered searching through the web. Sony needs to put out “Spider-Man” films to keep their licenses alive for the character. Doesn’t have to be a standalone Spider-Man movie. As long as it’s linked to Spider-Man the license continues with Sony. Angryjoeshow reviewed this film and also mentioned the same regarding the licensing with Sony.
@@mariovelan7380 I guess I get that, it's just... They easily could choose to do it RIGHT and still make money off of it tooo.
Yeah it's pointless. Maybe they could at least use Ben Reilly or something.
I just got an ad for Madame Web right before this video where it was a clip from an interview of someone saying it's different because it "has mystery imbedded in the plot"... that says so much about how little there is to say
Mary: Ben is going to love being an uncle, because it's all the fun and none of the responsibility."
Cassie: That's what he thinks.
Why did they think this was clever?
Wait, is that Ben supposed to be Peter’s uncle? I missed that hardcore lol