Ranking Every Baldurs Gate Companion But The Criteria Keeps Getting Weirder

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2024

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  • @michaelsandy2869
    @michaelsandy2869 ปีที่แล้ว +1581

    So just a reminder, Gale's ex did not MERELY tell him to sacrifice himself for her... she did that by TEXT. She had Elminster to do it.

    • @GhostSoapO
      @GhostSoapO 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +174

      Worse, she told her friend to text him. We only see Elminter bot

    • @shadowdroid776
      @shadowdroid776 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      Man, if she's supposed to be a good deity, then I can only guess that the gods are so odd with relationships compared to humans. She sent a follower of hers to explain her breaking up with Gale, but that must be normal in a deity's eyes to do so? To us, it's cruel and cold, but it's probably normal to them because gods are distant in general with their followers.
      Fuck, dating a god would be hard as hell. It's like a long distance, low contact, highly committed relationship.

    • @michaelsandy2869
      @michaelsandy2869 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@shadowdroid776 Maybe there aren't "good" deities, just like there aren't "good" races.

    • @AlexZebol
      @AlexZebol 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      @@shadowdroid776 look up Eilistraee. She's the real good deity, who is ironically a patron of drow.

    • @peggy7744
      @peggy7744 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      you know she'd have an excuse ready like 'I didn't think it'd be good for HIM to see me' too

  • @rosehorror1422
    @rosehorror1422 ปีที่แล้ว +447

    For as straight laced as she is, one of the funniest banters I've heard in the game shadowheart saying she wishes we had horses and astarion saying no cause they bite and her comeback to that being "we keep you around"

    • @majora5651
      @majora5651 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      that and when she trolls you with the night flower, I cackled so much because it was really unexpected. She‘s so precious!

    • @BlertaPupu
      @BlertaPupu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I mostly hear her trying to make fun about Lae'zel in the most unfunny ways and therefore concluded she has terrible humour.
      That joke is pretty funny though!

    • @makeupminx6103
      @makeupminx6103 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Followed by Astarion saying "I'm not giving any free rides" 👀👀👀UGH my feet started kicking

  • @VesperOfRoses
    @VesperOfRoses ปีที่แล้ว +4073

    You forgot to mention how Gale's default reaction to literally any minor inconvenience is to threaten to blow himself up and take everyone with him and he can *literally* do that. Peak comedy.

    • @verkyu
      @verkyu ปีที่แล้ว +560

      when he asks ur tav how was their first night together and u can say "it was fine" he just basically says "what if i kill myself"

    • @nixandmar2980
      @nixandmar2980 ปีที่แล้ว +316

      @@verkyuactually he says “have you considered I was being careful of the bomb in my chest bestie”

    • @mariavivian4703
      @mariavivian4703 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      Baldur's Gate III's equivalant of "WITH THIS TREASURE I SUMMON"

    • @chipsalom
      @chipsalom ปีที่แล้ว +24

      And that mystra finally just couldn't anymore... The combo of undeniably intoxicating talent and drama queen can exhaust. But they first do catch that interest.
      Spoiler:
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      That's totally the tone I took from their meeting via Rivington. Gale, *potentially exasperated* did you learn nothing and hear nothing I just said? It's about more than you and you don't speak for the humanoids of Abir-Toril

    • @nixandmar2980
      @nixandmar2980 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      @@chipsalom sorry that mystra isn’t happy with than man the child she groomed grew up to be

  • @SoI_Badguy
    @SoI_Badguy ปีที่แล้ว +894

    Lae'zel's tragic-ness gets a lot worse when you realize she's the youngest of all the companions. She's only like 22.

    • @balazskertesz5010
      @balazskertesz5010 ปีที่แล้ว +350

      ...and on her first real mission she gets infected by a mind flayer tadpole, which is just about the worst fate that a githyanki could imagine, way worse than death. No wonder she's so unpleasant in the beginning, she just had the worst day of her life...

    • @diogoextreme2
      @diogoextreme2 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      She have a loot of info about war, fight and mind squids, but in the rest she pretty much a teen or less

    • @saratoga6663
      @saratoga6663 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Is that physical age or time alive, cause you can’t physically age between planes

    • @BleachBasket108
      @BleachBasket108 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      ​@@saratoga6663githyanki form crèches on the material planes for their offspring to grow up in, where Lae'zel recently came from it seems, so technically both?

    • @mintkit1064
      @mintkit1064 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Where is the official source for ages? I have never found one just peoples speculation and articles that didn't have sources either.
      I know some mention their age when key events happen like Wyll but I never heard Laezel say anything. And time is weird in the Astral plane so who knows how long she's been around?

  • @likeahorse
    @likeahorse ปีที่แล้ว +2331

    One underrated aspect about Gale is that besides Karlach he's the only one who will still be romantic with you and be seen with you in public if you become a mind flayer. like still fully planning your big public wedding. Besides those two they're either like gross no or ok but you have to live in the attic. Basically what I'm saying is that he'd still love you if you were a worm.

    • @grymmoire
      @grymmoire ปีที่แล้ว +109

      I’m really confused by the mind flayer ending. Is it actually still you? I thought that with this ending, you are essentially choosing to sacrifice the MC by allowing the tadpole to eat your brain and fully develop. So it’s just a mind flayer with your memories.

    • @HekatieSquires
      @HekatieSquires ปีที่แล้ว +192

      Wyll hiding Tentacle Tav away while he fixes the world because he thinks you'll scare everyone but he still wants you is literally heartbreaking - he's this hopeless romantic but then Madwoman in the Attic's you rather than let you go or trust that the people would get used to the mindflayer that SAVED THE WORLD ...

    • @artorhen
      @artorhen ปีที่แล้ว +55

      @grymmoire5912 well, you're still you, but will live as a mind flayer from that point on, which will likely change the way you live from that point on and how you see the world, but it's still you.

    • @grymmoire
      @grymmoire ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@artorhen why are you different than other mind flayers then? Do they explain that?

    • @smcg6131
      @smcg6131 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      @@HekatieSquires They won't. And most likely, you'll rapidly change too. Your soul is gone, per Withers, and you do in fact now have to live by eating the brains of a sapient humanoid at least once every couple of weeks. According to the narrator, your old self already seems to be fading away. Maybe you'll become like the Emperor- but he's nowhere close to the hero he was, either.

  • @PKFl4sh
    @PKFl4sh ปีที่แล้ว +1196

    Astarion would be the kind of babysitter who sits down with the kid, drinking wine whilst talking shit about the kid's family.

    • @irinakermong1217
      @irinakermong1217 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      So, a wine aunt, basically

    • @calebsfamilybbq9720
      @calebsfamilybbq9720 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      tbh astarion exudes peak wine aunt energy

    • @itscznben8728
      @itscznben8728 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

      the wine has blood mixed into it

    • @marbleherogaming735
      @marbleherogaming735 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@irinakermong1217hes the wine uncle

    • @Mesruksi
      @Mesruksi 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@itscznben8728
      the wine is just blood because otherwise he would just projectile vomit it out or something

  • @memequeen5166
    @memequeen5166 ปีที่แล้ว +2379

    Fun fact, Lae’zel is actually considered a very funny Gith, so I think she would be ok with being place 5th in Most Hilarious

    • @domesticcat1725
      @domesticcat1725 ปีที่แล้ว +221

      She would make a very funny person in Germany too

    • @ortheum-networks401
      @ortheum-networks401 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@domesticcat1725no no that’s Minthara

    • @SweetDeath777
      @SweetDeath777 ปีที่แล้ว +129

      Laezel is hilarious people just don't get her deadpan humour 😂

    • @vee1267
      @vee1267 ปีที่แล้ว +199

      “Among githyanki I am considered exceptionally humorous.” 😂 that line is canon and nobody’s convincing me otherwise

    • @Megalomaniac_Trans_Lesbian
      @Megalomaniac_Trans_Lesbian ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@ortheum-networks401 Minthara's got that dry brit humour

  • @rachelhughes8487
    @rachelhughes8487 ปีที่แล้ว +503

    speaking of Spotify playlists, the actors who play Gale, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, and Dammon have all created playlists for their characters.

    • @rubyrudd1502
      @rubyrudd1502 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      DAMMON WIN

    • @AceCookie
      @AceCookie ปีที่แล้ว +118

      And Shadowheart! There's a Shadowheart playlist.
      Dev Wilde seems to be making an attempt to do one for Lae'zel but has also run into the "Lae'zel wouldn't listen to music" hurdle 😂

    • @jeffreydenenberg7101
      @jeffreydenenberg7101 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      thank you for this vital information

    • @simonmacomber7466
      @simonmacomber7466 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@AceCookie I think it's more likely that Ms. Wilde is running into the problem that the music that Lae'zel would listen to can't be found on Spotify. Because the Githyanki are a _very_ musical people.

    • @AceCookie
      @AceCookie ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@simonmacomber7466 it's entirely possible! I was just basing that comment off a tiktok that she made, wherein she says that Lae'zel probably wouldn't listen to music. That said, i haven't checked if she's posted an update on that recently

  • @hartthorn
    @hartthorn ปีที่แล้ว +1635

    "Lae'zel has seen a child before. Lae'zel has spoken to children before."
    Oh yes! She's even given children orders before. Led children on a glorious charge into battle before. Helped children bury their fallen comrades before.
    Githyanki culture is kinda wild.

    • @chrisrubin6445
      @chrisrubin6445 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      she even killed 4 kids that she told me about atleast

    • @Atomsk0192
      @Atomsk0192 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@chrisrubin6445 Does it count if she's also a kid?

    • @chrisrubin6445
      @chrisrubin6445 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@Atomsk0192 I would think so. Unless maybe you can explain why it shouldn't?

    • @QuestionableObject
      @QuestionableObject ปีที่แล้ว +49

      By Githyanki standards she's an A+ babysitter, arguably even S-tier.
      Not that any githyanki would admit that.

    • @Zach-cn4lb
      @Zach-cn4lb 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I disagree. She never would help children bury their fallen comrades. They can do that shit themselves, why should she help at all?

  • @Our_Remedy
    @Our_Remedy ปีที่แล้ว +459

    If Lae'Zel had to babysit a child you're either coming back to a kid that can swordfight or a corpse.

    • @nikolastiscareno4963
      @nikolastiscareno4963 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

      Listen u romance her and steal the egg she ends up raising it and calling him freedom❤️ wanting him to be whatever he wants

    • @CatHasOpinions734
      @CatHasOpinions734 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      @@nikolastiscareno4963 OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER STEAL THAT EGG BUT NOW I NEED TO.

    • @emmasilver2332
      @emmasilver2332 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@nikolastiscareno4963You don't even need to romance her. So long as you have her side with Orpheus, she will adopt the githyanki hatchling.

  • @pxnxd68
    @pxnxd68 ปีที่แล้ว +768

    "How many hours of your real, human life have you sacrificed to Astarion?"
    not enough

    • @moonbunny9743
      @moonbunny9743 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      It’ll never be enough

    • @genevievec.8002
      @genevievec.8002 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      He would undoubtedly agree, darling.

    • @emspresso5856
      @emspresso5856 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      300 hours is not nearly enough, can confirm

    • @brizzyvoices
      @brizzyvoices 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      This video is 55 minutes long but I scrolled to this comment precisely as this line was said and it freaked me out a bit.

    • @eos_aurora
      @eos_aurora 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      About 65 so far haha

  • @Our_Remedy
    @Our_Remedy ปีที่แล้ว +762

    Halsin talking about how he was a sex slave for 3 years like it was a silly story is one of the most realistic depictions of trauma I've seen.

    • @ColaDad
      @ColaDad 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Thats was epic

    • @AnnaKorolevska
      @AnnaKorolevska 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

      Exactly! I think we don’t talk enough about it. Most people are just horny for him but when I heard this story I was flabbergasted and… devastated.

    • @ANPC-pi9vu
      @ANPC-pi9vu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +67

      Wish he had some interactions with Astarion about sex slavery because yeah. I think I'd like Halsin better if he was better written. Any depth is thrown in randomly like an afterthought with no growth or closure.

    • @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa4545
      @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa4545 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Holy fuck, that's some dialogue I missed

    • @letsdostuff8967
      @letsdostuff8967 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      ​@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa4545same, this is the first I have heard of this, I am shocked. Literally jaw agape. It also makes me a little mad that this backstory wasn't told that often. Why throw in some depth and trauma to a character just for one or two lines? Makes more sense as to why he struggles with boundaries.

  • @willowthelost
    @willowthelost ปีที่แล้ว +630

    Jaheira has without a doubt had to pull a light bulb out of minsc's mouth I know this to be true

    • @AriallaMacAllister
      @AriallaMacAllister ปีที่แล้ว +60

      100% accurate. Minsc no doubt tried it while Boo was taking a nap and couldn't tell him not to do it.

    • @becauseimafan
      @becauseimafan 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@willowthelost for the longest time I did not understand this thing at all, why would it be difficult or dangerous? Then I realized I'd been picturing Addams Family's Uncle Fester putting *the base* of a light bulb in his mouth *to light it up* and thought that was the gag, that it doesn't work irl. Never even _occurred_ to me that people were putting the bulb in their mouths with the base sticking out 😅 cuz how would you see it light up then?? 😆

  • @akyray6804
    @akyray6804 ปีที่แล้ว +397

    still thinking about that the one time Astarion spared someone from Cazador because they were too sweet and then got locked up in a coffin for an entire year bascially starving without dying as a punishment :')

    • @Sofia-ge6wm
      @Sofia-ge6wm 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

      I want to curb stomp Cazador

    • @zzflare
      @zzflare 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Sofia-ge6wm based, he has such a bitchy voice too

    • @ANPC-pi9vu
      @ANPC-pi9vu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      All signs are that his 'Sweet Boy' really did escape Cazador's clutches. Astarion paid a horrifoc price, but damn it, he won and Caz was never able to take that win away from him.

  • @Martini_1911
    @Martini_1911 ปีที่แล้ว +1354

    How dare you put Shadowheart at the bottom of the list for "most hilarious." If you give her a night orchid she pretends like you're in grave danger for touching it unitl she says "kidding!" and literally throws out finger guns. That alone is at least worth the #8 spot

    • @moonbunny9743
      @moonbunny9743 ปีที่แล้ว +139

      That was so cute when it happened 😭

    • @arjunkishore4080
      @arjunkishore4080 ปีที่แล้ว +179

      I feel that Shadowheart is more adorkable in the most endearing way possible, but isn’t really a comedian. She is also my favorite companion, but she can’t be perfect

    • @PaulRGauthier
      @PaulRGauthier ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Shart is hilarious, actually.

    • @wtr3059
      @wtr3059 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@PaulRGauthierYou donkey!

    • @Diana-hf4qv
      @Diana-hf4qv ปีที่แล้ว +146

      She also suggested we put a bell on Astarion to keep him from sneaking up on anyone in camp to bite them lmao

  • @duelbraids
    @duelbraids ปีที่แล้ว +773

    We know Astarion is 5'9 because as a Githyanki, when he asks the player to describe them, the Gith-specific option is literally describing him verbatim. "A vampire spawn, approximately 5'9..." which is SO FUNNY

    • @Mesruksi
      @Mesruksi 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      can’t you also see your party members’ heights from the character sheet menu?

    • @duelbraids
      @duelbraids 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Mesruksi not sure! I’ll have to check next time I load up the game.

    • @prodtetch
      @prodtetch 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      A Gith Tav actually says he is 5'11

    • @duelbraids
      @duelbraids 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@prodtetch ooh, good to know! guess I had misremembered, thank u!

    • @MatthewTheWanderer
      @MatthewTheWanderer 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Mesruksi I had no idea the character sheet listed height! I will have to investigate the next time I play.

  • @scoobyruby895
    @scoobyruby895 ปีที่แล้ว +767

    I also romanced Gale, he was actually the first companion I romanced, and him assuming "what, a child?" took me OUT. I feel like if you told him yes though it would be like that meme: "give me a week. what color." because he'd go dig around and do some magical insanity to just whip up a baby. The man literally has a magical bomb in his chest and just CONTINUES to want to push the boundaries of what he's allowed to do I would not put it past him.

    • @rachelhughes8487
      @rachelhughes8487 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      lmao i think he meant like, having a child. not kidnapping one.

    • @atinity6749
      @atinity6749 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      For me the funniest Gale moment is when you push him to have foursome with you and the drows. He just immediately fucks off and leaves magical answering machine in his place 😂

    • @Local_commentor
      @Local_commentor ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I romanced minthara because I like the the fact she is a zelot petty entertaining

    • @alissapenridge7516
      @alissapenridge7516 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      In my Astarion origin run, Gale and I found Arabella and her parents right before that conversation, which put an interesting twist on the “you want to have a child with me?” line. Now I’m stuck imagining an ending where they adopted her together and Gale is teaching her about the weave. Arabella Dekarios has a nice ring to it.

    • @V1DE0-STARZ
      @V1DE0-STARZ ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I really love the concept of Gale being a dad. He’s literally a DAD but without the child, if that makes sense. A cat dad, sure, but not a child dad. It would be so cute if you could ‘have children’ aka adopt an orphan lol. Like Arabella, or that girl in your camp with the cat (if she doesn’t DIE)

  • @Our_Remedy
    @Our_Remedy ปีที่แล้ว +221

    Listen, I cannot blame Astarion for thinking it'd be really hard for people to recognize he's a vampire considering he's never seen his reflection. I know he had 200 years of seeing other vampires and going "Oh, they have red eyes and fangs. I must have red eyes too" but if you NEVER got to see yourself it'd be pretty easy to not update your internal self image of yourself.

    • @nocturnalcove9736
      @nocturnalcove9736 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I bet the people he managed to lure just thought he was albino...

    • @ANPC-pi9vu
      @ANPC-pi9vu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I have to imagine that Caz's spawn must all use glamour to hide their vampirism normally, otherwise there's no way people would be following them home to Cazador. My theory that would close this plot hole is that the worms made us imune to his glamour so the signs were far more obvious than to normal people.

  • @shyshadow3745
    @shyshadow3745 ปีที่แล้ว +756

    I don’t even want kids, but I think co-parenting with Halsin would be amazing

    • @jungtothehuimang
      @jungtothehuimang ปีที่แล้ว +42

      You should just make him your daddy, problem solved

    • @Katyamuffin
      @Katyamuffin ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Halsin can plant as many babies as he wants in me fr fr

    • @V1DE0-STARZ
      @V1DE0-STARZ ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@KatyamuffinWHAT

    • @cloudy978
      @cloudy978 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Honestly it's fair. I might be a man but I'd let halsin do that to me too.

    • @backbigboy
      @backbigboy 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Stop. Fucking. The Bear.

  • @turi5959
    @turi5959 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    Small correction: Jaheira is a high half-elf, not a human, which would explain how she's still alive despite having played part in past baldur's gate events hundreds of years ago

    • @andrewmcmillan229
      @andrewmcmillan229 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      To be specific BG2 was 125 years ago, and half elves can live up to about 200 years. I don’t know if we know her age in the originals but she was already an adult and married in BG1 so she’s definitely up there in age.

    • @DarkAssassin1014
      @DarkAssassin1014 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Also, in her sanctuary you can find a ritual scroll of timeless body (a feature you get as a lv18 druid) that jaheira supposedly used in the pass. that means she is ageing 10 times slower after the ritual was preformed

    • @ANPC-pi9vu
      @ANPC-pi9vu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      And why she looks better with age, because female high elves... they look like bad plastic surgery when they are youthful. Shart is lucky she takes after her human side in face structure. Lol

    • @RazielTheUnborn
      @RazielTheUnborn 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@DarkAssassin1014She didn't use the Scroll of Aging. She thought about it but decided against it.

  • @Pixel-Lucas
    @Pixel-Lucas ปีที่แล้ว +518

    "Every time I see her .. I wonder why she's wearing Astarion's armor" literally same

    • @alissapenridge7516
      @alissapenridge7516 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I have her in my party and Astarion is still wearing that armor. I gave her Ketheric’s.

    • @antonizajkowski9698
      @antonizajkowski9698 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Who?

  • @jsmountain
    @jsmountain ปีที่แล้ว +238

    Honestly, I think that putting Astarion at 3rd hottest is a good balance between his need to be recognized as the prettiest, and him not necessarily wanting to be thought of in terms of sex.

  • @mnoelis
    @mnoelis ปีที่แล้ว +208

    I once saw a TikTok that was like "if you romance Wyll you don't want to fix them, you want someone to fix you" and like it went straight for the throat with that one but also it's not wrong either 😅😅😅

  • @romeech9375
    @romeech9375 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    karlach dances randomly because its hard for her to stand still. not because of something tragic, thats just how she is

    • @Seeigh
      @Seeigh 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      I just love her small dances, but also in the camp quite often she looks like she has a very intensr conversation with herself, love that too 😂

    • @personne-fp6cr
      @personne-fp6cr หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Karlach just has ADHD lol

  • @restless_child
    @restless_child ปีที่แล้ว +31

    You forgot when gale dies in combat and you don't resurrect him he has an overly elaborate way to bring him back to life in a world rampant with revivify scrolls and that has withers. This ritual also involves spelling out the word DEAD musically.

  • @Nioriel26
    @Nioriel26 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    Gale kills me when he yells "Stop licking the damn thing!" In the Gauntlet of Shar. I couldnt stop laughing!

    • @cabbagyboi9129
      @cabbagyboi9129 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Gale holds 3 of my top 5 favorite lines from that game and all three of them are from that one area in the Gauntlet of Shar

  • @ElPlonk0
    @ElPlonk0 ปีที่แล้ว +382

    So obviously Lae'zel's number 1 in every category, but I'm looking forward to seeing the order of all the runner ups.

    • @gregsicle_stick
      @gregsicle_stick ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Oopsie you misspelled Gale.

    • @pineappleink9232
      @pineappleink9232 ปีที่แล้ว

      odd way to spell Astarion lol@@gregsicle_stick

    • @tymera
      @tymera ปีที่แล้ว

      WOOOOOO

    • @anormalcorpus4804
      @anormalcorpus4804 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Shame all of you have misspelled Karlach

  • @EmittOkondria
    @EmittOkondria ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Gale “Stop Licking It” Dekarios would yell at you for eating a lightbulb but he would still do it to prove a point 😂

  • @clellieirwin2155
    @clellieirwin2155 ปีที่แล้ว +930

    Okay but who would you ACTUALLY date irl:
    1. Wyll: I don't need to explain this. You get it.
    2. Karlach: you'd have SO MUCH FUN.
    3. Jaheira: she'll be your rock, but she's in a high-demand career and you'll have to come to terms with that.
    4. Gale: kind, funny, affectionate, but he talks about his ex too much.
    5. Shadowheart: you like her SO MUCH, but you need a partner, not a project.
    6. Halsin: it'd be fun for six months but ultimately you can't commit to a zero waste, vegan lifestyle.
    7. Astarion: why would you do this to yourself? This is exactly what you've been working on in therapy.
    8. Lae'zel: within the first 5 minutes you know you have nothing in common
    9. Minsc: you know the only thing keeping him together is his hamster. You also know the lifespan of hamsters.
    10. Minthara: she starts the first date by asking if you've read "The Most Dangerous Game."

    • @novas2905
      @novas2905 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      gale only really talks about mystra when it's relevant tho... and like if your ex was the literal goddess of your domain, like ya know the thing you devoted your entire life to, yeah, of course she's gonna come up

    • @ececelebi9424
      @ececelebi9424 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      Tbh i’d date astarion because i too have many issues about physical intimacy and i feel like he’d get me without being upset/disappointed with me (i’m asexual and a people pleaser who has a horrible time saying no)

    • @StrawberryQuestions
      @StrawberryQuestions ปีที่แล้ว +71

      @@ececelebi9424DUDEEE same, I’m not ace but sexual intimacy isn’t really up my alley, and I think he’d respect that immensely so 10/10 would cuddle

    • @bronmill33
      @bronmill33 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      you get it. Wyll is literally the best S/O if the characters actually existed that everyone dreams of having

    • @papervulture
      @papervulture ปีที่แล้ว +58

      common misconception. this is who you SHOULD date irl. i'm fucking minthara immediately. also jaheira is frankly out of everyone's league

  • @aliciaaz2356
    @aliciaaz2356 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    in Gale's defense (or perhaps condemnation) on the Spotify ranking, I would say that he's number one for Spotify playlists. He's absolutely king of the Sad Boi mixes, true, but there's one other factor: no one has a tower packed with that many books, without an equally staggering music fixation. We canonically know this is a man with an enchanted self-playing piano. The saving grace with this scenario is that you said Spotify; if we were dealing with a physical collection his tower would probably collapse under its own weight from the sheer amount of vinyl.
    This mofo *absolutely* has an Enya collection for when he's doing general research/reading. He's got hyper-specific playlists for each school of magic, and then playlists for each book genre he's currently indulging. He's also got a weird selection of like, trance/binaural/meditation music for when he's stargazing. He's probably got a playlist just for boning. He's *defintiely* got a playlist for being emo about his looming demise. He's doesn't have just one playlist for Mystra. He's got at least 15, because this is a man who gets besotted Very Easily and Very Deeply.
    This is a man who's got at least thirty relentlessly specific playlists, and they're all flawlessly organized to flow from one song to another.
    By the end of the game, he's got playlists for each region you've gone through, a playlist dedicated to the party with specific songs for each person, and if you romanced him, his Spotify followers are probably gossiping amongst themselves about why he's taken down/privated almost all of the Mystra playlists, who in the hells this Tav/Durge person is, and the implications of why they suddenly have a zillion playlists dedicated to them

    • @AriallaMacAllister
      @AriallaMacAllister ปีที่แล้ว +14

      As someone currently romancing Gale, this feels absolutely true.

    • @lillyblack5619
      @lillyblack5619 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I love this analysis

  • @Dudeman23rd
    @Dudeman23rd ปีที่แล้ว +565

    I haven't had the pleasure of playing BG3 so I'm just here for the education but YOU'RE TELLING ME "DADDY HALSIN" IS AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE GAME

    • @haleywhipjack
      @haleywhipjack  ปีที่แล้ว +212

      oh yeah he's fully Like That

    • @romeech9375
      @romeech9375 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      dont play the game, it might ruin your life

    • @doomdozer1914
      @doomdozer1914 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      @@romeech9375 Can confirm, only two playthroughs in and ive already lost 300 hours of my social life

    • @SweetDeath777
      @SweetDeath777 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Wait until he tells you he's glad to be had😂

    • @Katyamuffin
      @Katyamuffin ปีที่แล้ว +15

      ​@@doomdozer1914I'm 400 in and as soon as I get those 2 achievements I have left, I'm calling out for help

  • @ΜάριοςΔανδούτης
    @ΜάριοςΔανδούτης ปีที่แล้ว +91

    I don't know if someone has already pointed this out but Minsc would fully prepare a character sheet for Boo and probably be insulted if you didn't just assume that he would also be playing.

    • @AriallaMacAllister
      @AriallaMacAllister ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Boo would play a Monk

    • @zzflare
      @zzflare 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@AriallaMacAllister yes

  • @10GhostGirl10
    @10GhostGirl10 ปีที่แล้ว +610

    I went from hating Astarion because he whined every time I did nice things, to finding his snark funny, to maybe thinking he could be hot, to having 0 attraction to him because dear lord this man has issues and I just want to be his friend and help him work through them.

    • @akirasaito1551
      @akirasaito1551 ปีที่แล้ว +241

      Ennemies to friends to therapist

    • @ninjificus
      @ninjificus ปีที่แล้ว +13

      his issues give me someone else who I can actually help with issues because I cannot fix my own xD

    • @isabellag6220
      @isabellag6220 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Favorite trope 😍

    • @Scarylyn14
      @Scarylyn14 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I have a similar relationship with Gale. My first playthrough I thought he was entertaining until he came onto me and I turned him down and he threatened to blow himself up. I was like, “dude wtf I wasn’t even mean about it.”
      So I left him in camp the entire time until given the opportunity to blow himself up for a bonus ending, then reloaded the save and left him back in camp for the rest of the game 😂
      Currently on my second playthrough and started as the Dark Urge, I chopped his hand off for the giggle then reloaded the save and I’m going to try and keep him in the party the whole time this time for the sass TikTok promises he has. I would love to be sassy besties with him, so I’m giving him the chance 😂

    • @seere8906
      @seere8906 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      yeah this is exactly me i feel like astarion appreciates you as a friend more than anything else. i kept him in my party while hating him just so he could be my door opener but i ended up really liking him near the end but in a completely non sexual way. sexual scenes with him just make me feel a tad icky? can’t help but think he’s probably just shutting off and going auto pilot like in the drow scene everytime

  • @Duskwind_
    @Duskwind_ ปีที่แล้ว +168

    I don't know about you, but I feel that Shadowheart unknowingly torturing her parents for decades, and then being forced to kill them after finding out who they were is pretty damn tragic. But hey, she always has her little cave at the back of the temple that she can crawl into and cry...

    • @nikolastiscareno4963
      @nikolastiscareno4963 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Her karlach and astarion have it rough too 😭

    • @zzflare
      @zzflare 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@nikolastiscareno4963 they are definitely the most *unstable* of them all

    • @Zoroasterisk
      @Zoroasterisk 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      She's not forced to kill them. She can refuse, which Shar will repay by giving her a magic wound that she can use to cause her pain any time she wants. I think Dame Aylin says something that alludes to it eventually being removed by Selune, but I don't remember exactly. Either way, I figured she's a good person that was brainwashed into doing evil stuff, so she would sacrifice anything to save her parents, so I persuaded her to do that

    • @semopomume
      @semopomume 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      her parents literally beg her to kill them so that they can spare her the pain of being tormented by Shar for the rest of her life... even if you spare her parents that's so brutal 😢

    • @Duskwind_
      @Duskwind_ 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@semopomume I'm about 20 hours in on a Shadowheart origin play through. Her inner dialog is a huge eye-opener about her torment. It's pretty sad, but dating Karlach is helping 😁 I can't wait to experience the Gauntlet of Shar from her perspective.

  • @dunnejos8423
    @dunnejos8423 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    Shadowheart is a Florence and the Machine stan. You can't convince me otherwise. It's the ✨ religious trauma ✨

    • @eliasapollo4131
      @eliasapollo4131 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I see your florence fan shart and I raise you to ethel cain fan shart (religious trauma intensifies)

    • @dunnejos8423
      @dunnejos8423 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@eliasapollo4131 I think it's less one is more intense than the other and it's more different flavors of Religious trauma. You got your Evangelical/southern baptist trauma, and your Catholic trauma.

    • @aliciaaz2356
      @aliciaaz2356 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      She's also definitely gone hard into Evanescence territory....

    • @Shaddlez
      @Shaddlez ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Her VA made a shadowheart spotify playlist and did include some florence its so fitting lol

    • @falconeshield
      @falconeshield ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@aliciaaz2356 No. None of that. Shame on you.

  • @natehart1988
    @natehart1988 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    You are missing on the full story of Jahiera and Minsc from the original BG games. Jahiera's husband, Khalid, was tortured to death in BG2 and she has remained alone ever since. Minsc was a ranger who sustained a traumatic brain injury while defending his witch, Dynahir. His purpose in life was to protect her, but she was murdered by the same person who killed Khalid, depriving his life of meaning and making him an outcast from his family and native homeland. Yeah, this is only alluded to in BG3, but it's their back story.

  • @SillverSeraph
    @SillverSeraph ปีที่แล้ว +274

    Minthara got screwed over by the writers but forcing you to be evil. She doesnt even like that you killed the tieflings after shes free of the absolute, she literally just wants affirmation and to feel safe because she was raised with a mother that would kill her on a moment's notice. Definitely not number 10 on the tragic list and way hotter too

    • @SillverSeraph
      @SillverSeraph ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Also if you gave her a child it would come back to you with longsword proffesional fs

    • @The_Saatik
      @The_Saatik ปีที่แล้ว +79

      Yeah lol "Other companions talk about their problems and Minthara only talks about being evil", proceeds to put her lower than Minsc that got turned into a statue and mind controlled by the cult and "doesn't seem bothered by it".
      Ah yes as if Minthara after being freed from mind control doesn't immediately tell you her story of coming to Moonrise and getting tortured and brainwashed by Orin, demonstrates quite tragic self-blame for the abuse she's suffered ("I deserved it"), and in later acts also shares how her mother tried to kill her, how she hates both Absolute and Lolth as they're both controlling evil cults... Talks of how she couldn't have friends or enjoy food due to fear of poison or a dagger in her back... Yes she's nasty but isn't all of that quite tragic?

    • @therat1117
      @therat1117 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      @@The_Saatik Agreed, Minthara is actually about as tragic as Karlach in a lot of ways and also has a lot of insecurity about herself, but Karlach's a lad and Minthara gives dominatrix vibes, so people just don't bother actually listening to Minthara be an absolute sweetheart sometimes.

    • @freyaschuler6514
      @freyaschuler6514 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yeah it feels like they have only seen a small part of myntharas story

    • @rubyrootless7324
      @rubyrootless7324 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      that actually got fixed with patch 5.
      You can just knock her out in the goblin camp and she'll be at moonrise.
      Ofc that kinda skips a lot of interesting things with her, but at least it's possible now.

  • @emilythesmelly
    @emilythesmelly ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Two things to consider that were missed:
    Hottness: Wyll's little belly shirt ☺
    Tragic: Gale was groomed by Mystra. He was a wizard savant, a child casting magic so well that he caught Mystra's attention! And then she took him under her wing and then they started dating??? Gross. (I've never heard it, but apparently Minsc has a comment somewhere about people hiding their wizard sons from Mystra 💀)
    Otherwise fairly excellent rankings

  • @Psycchan
    @Psycchan ปีที่แล้ว +142

    shadowheart listens to evanescence, sings along flawlessly, and SOBS to my immortal

    • @danielisntreal6190
      @danielisntreal6190 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      My Immortal would 100% be her go-to karaoke song

    • @hooray4paradiddles
      @hooray4paradiddles 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      hi my name is shadowheart dark'ness dementia raven way

    • @avocadothecat
      @avocadothecat 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      the song or the fanfic? xD

    • @avocadothecat
      @avocadothecat 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@hooray4paradiddlesoh god, NOOOOOOOOOOOO
      "I have Shadow black long hair (that's how I got my name) with silver jewelry in it......"

    • @Psycchan
      @Psycchan 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@avocadothecat both

  • @elo6066
    @elo6066 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Minthara's story is incredibly tragic, and I feel like if you give her a chance to tell you, it unfolds beautifully. She was roped into worshipping the Absolute by Orin, with whom she was intimate. But then was forced to take the tadpole after being ambushed by Orin, when she had grown to trust her. She then was basically mind controlled by the Absolute. She even judges Tav for helping her kill the Tieflings. Which, granted, she is willing to forgive relatively easily. She *is* cruel, but I don't think that takes away from her story being tragic.

    • @nikolastiscareno4963
      @nikolastiscareno4963 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Definitely more tragic in my eyes compared to minsc jaheria and halsin who either move past their trauma or are busy doing other things

    • @xsanriodollx9073
      @xsanriodollx9073 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      On top of all that, she doesn't have a home to go back to after everything is over. Turning your back on Lolth and worshipping another god is seen as criminal in Menzoberranzan, and it'd probably be worse for her since she's a part of an extremely well known house.

    • @nikolastiscareno4963
      @nikolastiscareno4963 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@xsanriodollx9073 100 percent tragic story for her I feel like halsin is tragic but he has things to back on! The grove, accomplishing his goal in restoring the forest, and then he is a pretty merry guy not battling with anything that was a big figure in his life like everyone else(Karlach is a bit different because she’s stuck with avernus unless turned and then she’s not like fighting some sort of figure like shadow, astarion, lazel, gale, and even wyll with mizora for at least months if you get his contract terminated)

    • @moonlitchronicles210
      @moonlitchronicles210 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Not to mention how her mom tried to kill her

    • @angmarliche9187
      @angmarliche9187 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      TIL Minthara was intimate with Orin 😮

  • @dianabialaskahansen2972
    @dianabialaskahansen2972 ปีที่แล้ว +264

    Crazy, I have Shadowheart as one of the most hilarious. She has such a biting wit, some of the best one liners in the game.

    • @Strix182
      @Strix182 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I like it when she calls you a donkey

    • @dianabialaskahansen2972
      @dianabialaskahansen2972 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@Strix182 Her banter with Astarion, when she wish your party had mules or horses, Astarion says horses bite and she just says, "So do you, but we still keep you around."
      Really think Vicious Mockery and Cutting Words (Lore Bard feature) are very much suited for Shadowheart.

    • @whiskey5106
      @whiskey5106 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Exactly, She made me think that her name is shadowheart because she's always throw shade at evryone. lol

    • @hadrian1267
      @hadrian1267 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think she’s funny unless she’s TRYING to be.

    • @slemph2214
      @slemph2214 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      if you force her on stage at the circus by saying "my friend shadowheart would be a way better assistant :)" she will say "are you sure you have a FRIEND called shadowheart and not an enemy?" and afterwards she'll say you better get someone to start tasting your food

  • @wardenmages
    @wardenmages ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I think Gale would turn the light bulb thing into an experiment and insist someone help him take notes. To quote the great Lou Wilson, "If I went +12 con, can I eat light bulbs?"

  • @fraserking4747
    @fraserking4747 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    I love BG3 aka Bi Panic Simulator: Dungeons and Dragons Edition. It’s my favourite dice-based dating simulator. Though there is this weird thing about mindflayers??? Idk, but I trusted the vision and I was rewarded for it.
    10/10, would pet the dog again. Karlach best girl.

    • @moonlit_sky127
      @moonlit_sky127 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      isn’t it pan tho ? theres a non binary option in character creation. obviously theyre all just player-sexual but u get it lol

    • @Soloee_
      @Soloee_ ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ​@@moonlit_sky127you can be bi and like non binary people

    • @moonlit_sky127
      @moonlit_sky127 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Soloee_ yea but bi means two. there are 3 options in game.

    • @Soloee_
      @Soloee_ ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@moonlit_sky127 the word bi means 2, but when it comes to bisexuality it's 2+. You just have to be attracted to more than 1 gender

    • @moonlit_sky127
      @moonlit_sky127 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Soloee_ in this case the characters ARE pan though. “playersexual” is pretty much how it goes in games like this. closest actual sexuality to that is pan.

  • @hoodie2shoes273
    @hoodie2shoes273 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Sorry, but Halsin is the first person I’m going to if I have a random child to take care of. He literally goes on to take care of orphans affected by everything that’s happened in the game. I trust that man with any child.

  • @itsTrickstery
    @itsTrickstery ปีที่แล้ว +260

    Whaaaa Shadowheart approves of every child-saving/being nice to kid interaction in the game, unlike some people above her. She approves of saving Arabella, she approves of allowing her to stay at the camp, she approves of encouraging the tiefling kids, pretty sure she even approves of a certain orphaned kid to stay at the camp in act 3. She would be at the top of the list for babysitting for me!

    • @nathanfivecoate5848
      @nathanfivecoate5848 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah!

    • @Strix182
      @Strix182 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      Not the #1 baby sitter on list? Fine. Ranked below LAE'ZEL???
      Truly, there is no justice for Bing-Bong.

    • @nathanfivecoate5848
      @nathanfivecoate5848 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@arcade7273 You don't even have to wait for her to drop the front if things went down favorably in act 2 with the shadowfell

  • @AriallaMacAllister
    @AriallaMacAllister ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Shadowheart and Karlach would 100% be the "best friends go shopping in the mall" montage, complete with embarrassing you in front of your crush in the food court.
    Gale and Astarion would be the "shopping in boutiques with tailoring service" shopping montage that would include champagne, the obligatory triumphant twirl in the final outfit, and Gale convincing Astarion to get fitted for a suit so that he can supplant your date and go with you in style. Gale will especially do this if he would otherwise be your date, because Gale is shy and would never try on an outfit in a shop, but will want you to have fun at the party and knows Astarion is in his "I don't want to seduce people anymore" stage.

    • @AriallaMacAllister
      @AriallaMacAllister ปีที่แล้ว +5

      As for how many hours of my life I have dedicated to these crazy pixel people, well... if we include Jaheira and Minsc, that number is one I can't accurately calculate, because I have played all 3 BG games. I also have not kept track of all the TH-cam videos I have spent time watching because I can't get enough of them all. Steam tells me I have spent an utterly ridiculous number of hours of my life logged into the game while I watch TH-cam videos about who will go shopping with you for the perfect outfit in between actually playing 😂 Considering that Gale will be spending a lot of time actively involved in wedding planning including catering and flower arrangements if you romance him and get him to the end without exploding, I am confident that he will absolutely go dress shopping with you if you ask him to, although he might wonder if it really would be bad luck and have Astarion go dress shopping with you instead so long as you agree.
      I do think you're wrong about Shadowheart in two regards. 1) She's *hilarious*! 2) She would be the babysitter of the year. If she's still in Act 1 mode, she'd be the babysitter that would make the kids actually stick to their bedtime. If she's in Act 3 glow-up mode, she'd be the kid's favorite because she is willing to read the bedtime story 5 zillion times in silly voices so long as they brush their teeth and put their toys away before bed.
      Wyll would 100% have BIG baby fever after babysitting.
      Lae'zel, once she understood the assignment, would dive fully into outfit shopping with clear stipulations about the sharpness and quality of the stiletto heels, the importance of side slits for movement, etc. (see Jill Bearup videos about corsets, etc.) Lae'zel would also make sure you have the perfect updo, complete with hair pins that can double as weapons.

    • @claran3616
      @claran3616 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Lae’zel WOULD really like Jill Bearup, wouldn’t she

  • @sam7559
    @sam7559 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    If you had Minthara babysit your daughter I'm pretty sure she's going to come back with knowledge on how to swordfight and group politics, though I guess you might have to worry about your daughter planning matricide.

    • @LilithDaHobbit
      @LilithDaHobbit ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Considering drows treatment of male drow, if she babysit your son he'd come back SOBBING

  • @lejendaries
    @lejendaries ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Wyll is the type that if you say "oh have you heard this song? I love it!" he'd go listen earnestly, listen to the artist's other albums, make a playlist with that vibe, and be so happy to show you.
    I love these rankings, the lightbulb one is just... so accurate it hurts.

  • @averyeml
    @averyeml ปีที่แล้ว +120

    I’m gonna be honest, knowing that fangs would give you a lisp makes most fictional vampires in most franchises instantly hotter in a very cute way

    • @FrostyTheSnowPickle
      @FrostyTheSnowPickle ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Only if you're not used to their presence in your mouth. Most things give you a lisp if you put them over your teeth. Once you get used to talking with them, though, you can start to do away with the lisp.

    • @Eagle_Owl2
      @Eagle_Owl2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@FrostyTheSnowPicklecan confirm. I have permanent titanium retainers on the backside of my incisors and the first week after getting them I had a lisp. I had to get new ones after like 10 years and had to go without retainers for 3 days and during those 3 days I had a lisp again because I was so accustomed to the retainers at that point.

  • @juliapryor1886
    @juliapryor1886 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    For the Hilarious category, Jaheira has one of my favorite lines in the game. If you romance Halsin and kiss him in front of Jaheira (not in camp) she says "Brave. I can never quite trust my breath after taking the beast form." I died of laughter.

  • @therat1117
    @therat1117 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    Okay but not being able to romance Jaheira is also a crime because why can't I romance old people Larion? Let me enjoy some wrinkles!

    • @LemonMoon
      @LemonMoon ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Probably because the legacy companions were added later so they had less dev time for them on top of everything.

    • @sam7559
      @sam7559 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      She also (possibly) done the whole whirlwind romance during an adventure as a rebound over her husband being tortured and murdered, did not work out.

    • @lozpopo
      @lozpopo ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Shes still in love with her dead husband and always will be

    • @magicrainbowkitties1023
      @magicrainbowkitties1023 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bc you could romance her in Baldur's Gate 2 🤷

    • @oleviawatters2352
      @oleviawatters2352 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Romance her in BG2. She's great.

  • @Ctrl_Shift_
    @Ctrl_Shift_ ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Shadowheart is SHAR'S favorite princess. Her constant tragedy is 100% on brand.

  • @Hannah-bv5zt
    @Hannah-bv5zt ปีที่แล้ว +95

    "Wizard hubris" is possibly my favourite reason anyone has done anything

  • @LukasHale
    @LukasHale 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Minthara has some tragic lines about how if you hadn’t saved her, she would’ve been a forgotten stepping stone on your path to destroying the absolute. All she wants is to be accepted and loved. That shit is tragic as hell

    • @thimovijfschaft3271
      @thimovijfschaft3271 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      And you give her a home, which she wouldn't have had without you

  • @MarsHunter67
    @MarsHunter67 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    Astarion strikes me as one of my favorite character types, the person who on the outside seems like they don’t like kids, but if given time to connect with them will become that kid’s best friend and fierce protector, but he’d *never admit that.* Like he doesn’t mind messing with kids he doesn’t know and acts all “ew children”, but if you mess with *his kid* it’s over for you.

    • @bixiezelkova9799
      @bixiezelkova9799 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      This is so real, like how if Scratch dies and he throws the ball he starts crying and is like "MAN I HATE THAT STUPID DEAD DOG T.T"

    • @themudpit621
      @themudpit621 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You can judge a person pretty well by how they break up with you. Ever been broken up with by ASStarion?

    • @S0LAVELLANHELL
      @S0LAVELLANHELL ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@themudpit621ascended astarion* and if it’s not ascended it’s him putting on a face

    • @artorhen
      @artorhen ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @themudpit621 why do y'all always judge these characters based on when you do something awful to them?

    • @gammashark
      @gammashark ปีที่แล้ว +21

      It actually is canon that there once was a kid he tried to save from Cazador and was punished by being buried alive in a stone coffin and starved for a whole year, and in the game he is approving of you being kind towards kids so I think that is a fair assumption to have. He's a lot about acting like a jerk but not necessarily reflecting his real feelings

  • @Ramberta
    @Ramberta 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Putting Halsin and Karlach at the top of your Hotness ranking is correct, thank you for recognizing the true way of this game

  • @adalariea
    @adalariea ปีที่แล้ว +102

    I think Shadowheart might be good with kids, of course that is entirely based upon the probably not canon D&D game her VA played and her interactions with Bing Bong

    • @nathanfivecoate5848
      @nathanfivecoate5848 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Especially after her act 3 arc as a Selûnite

    • @themudpit621
      @themudpit621 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      RIP Bing Bong

    • @arjunkishore4080
      @arjunkishore4080 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’d agree with you on this. Selunite Shadowheart is sweet and gentle with animals (I believe that she was a fan of them even when indoctrinated). I feel that she will bring that same energy to kids

    • @RDehuvyne
      @RDehuvyne ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@arjunkishore4080 If you treat animals nicely "Shadowheart Approves" even as a brainwashed Shar Worshiper so she definitely was that way before act 3. think you also get some if you treat kids well too.

    • @nathanfivecoate5848
      @nathanfivecoate5848 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@@RDehuvyneHonestly with how good she is with kids and animals, especially in her epilogue, she'd probably the best wife out of all the female companions. Not to mention she's all too happy to adopt the owlbear with Tav/Redemption Durge

  • @killerkarma3574
    @killerkarma3574 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    About the music playlist, idk why but EVERY SINGLE TIME there is music being played by a bard character, out of all of the people to approach and clap or "groove" to the music, it's Lae'zel. This has happened across multiple playthroughs in both co-op and singleplayer. I think Lae'zel is secretly an audiophile.

  • @andrewmeanyard
    @andrewmeanyard ปีที่แล้ว +305

    One thing: Mystra groomed Gale. She has a history of doing that to teenagers and bending them to do what she wants. Less his ex and more someone who manipulated him.

    • @hades_head_empty
      @hades_head_empty ปีที่แล้ว +44

      yeah the uneven power dynamic in power and in age is so icky

    • @ianmccready4960
      @ianmccready4960 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Fun fact, that's actually not true. Gale's in his like 40s and the game takes place in 1492 DR , the current Mystra (a human woman who was raised to divinity following the the Time of Troubles in 1358 DR) was actually killed by a different god in 1385 DR and remained dead all the way until 1479 DR and she did not return to her full power until 1487 DR. So, If Gale is like mid 40s by 1492 DR that means that he would have been born late 1440s DR, which means he was probably a full adult by the time Mystra actually came back to life. So I don't think Mysta (again this is the third iteration of the goddess of Magic, she's only been a goddess for like 40 years at this point not counting the time she was dead) did manipulate gale from the moment he started learning magic.
      It is still a fairly uneven power dynamic since she is literally the most powerful deity in the forgotten realms, but grooming? Bit of a stretch.

    • @hades_head_empty
      @hades_head_empty ปีที่แล้ว +65

      @@ianmccready4960 grooming can be something other than age, it's a power imbalance, like with a boss and employee. i think a wizard and the goddess of magic is like an extreme version of that. so even if they're roughly the same age, icky

    • @ianmccready4960
      @ianmccready4960 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@hades_head_empty It is icky, yes, I don't disagree with that, but people do seem to be making up reasons to hate on Mystra that just aren't supported by the lore. This Mystra is not the same as the previous Mystra (the one who fucked Elminster) and people just often forget that. The current Mystra is a relatively new goddess so it's weird to criticize her on the basis that there was another goddess of magic before her that just had the same name.

    • @S0LAVELLANHELL
      @S0LAVELLANHELL ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ianmccready4960she still groomed him idgaf

  • @fizzywhispers
    @fizzywhispers ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Gale being #1 on the hilarious scale is so true and based ily

  • @razzdazz9366
    @razzdazz9366 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    Listen, I understand that I have a negative amount of back bone but to put Minthara below Minsc for most tragic. MINSC!?! The girl is traumatized. She started life by eating her own twin and it just gets worse from there.

    • @artorhen
      @artorhen ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Minthara is literally female Astarion in terms of levels of tragic character that had to be evil to survive.

    • @koshetz
      @koshetz ปีที่แล้ว +23

      So truuue. Also Gale being more tragic than Shadowheart a girl who were kidnapped by an evil cult and groomed and brainwashed into torturing her own parents.
      This video has so much problems.

  • @slkrsmobile
    @slkrsmobile ปีที่แล้ว +46

    On the tragic list, it's even worse for Karlach because her infernal heart is like a prototype experiment leading up to the Steel Watchers.

  • @goodolreliablejake4662
    @goodolreliablejake4662 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    It was so satisfying every time I just KNEW who #1 would be. That said, I gotta disagree on Lae'zel and Shadowheart's babysitter rankings. Shadowheart's arc is all her trying to act like a cold evil cultist and then constantly feeling empathy and reluctantly leaning towards her soft side, WHICH would make a great babysitter story. Lae'zel on the other hand is from a society where, yeah childrearing is a thing... It's just a thing that revolves around making child soldiers endure abuse and culling the weak by having them fight among themselves. I don't think that child is safe with her, per se.

  • @000Dragon50000
    @000Dragon50000 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Actually, Minthara is a lot of fun on a Durge redemption route, because it mirrors a lot of her challenges in essentially being forced into a redemption arc by circumstance. Very cute 10/10.

  • @chloegoodwin2482
    @chloegoodwin2482 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    If you knew more HOT GITH LORE you'd know that Githyanki actually love art and also love being very extra with their art (because its very boring in the astral plane) so I don't think Lae'zel wouldn't listen to music or make playlists.

  • @Starlysh
    @Starlysh ปีที่แล้ว +17

    When Shadowheart had her glow-up, I immediately took her to get a whole new outfit and dyed it mostly pale pink. Really wish we had that shopping montage then...would've been cute.

  • @dyslexicfaser
    @dyslexicfaser ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Wyll: "You can't bring a devil to a party. Claws pop the balloons, y'see." Me, /wiping a tear: "Oh man Wyll, that is FUNNY, you are a funny, funny man. Well. Y'know."

    • @atinity6749
      @atinity6749 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      That was a funny line from Wyll, I'll admit.
      Man said it at a THIEFLING PARTY 💀

  • @momogal04
    @momogal04 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Trying to get my roommate to understand why Gale is so tragic and you nailed it. I swore on my bard playthrough I would romance someone else and still gravitated towards Gale.

  • @beetlejuulz
    @beetlejuulz ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Shadowheart LOVES children and has a soft spot for orphans especially, given she is an orphan (at least she thinks she is one at this point) as well. She disapproves if you are mean to children and approves if you are nice to them.I would have placed her way higher. You know how she opens up and is more nice and open in he later game? That´s how she´d act around a child. She would be such a nice big sister

  • @zacharyg623
    @zacharyg623 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Karlacks ending was so heartbreaking. I’m glad the epilogue gave some closure but it’s so sad that a character that went through so much doesn’t get a happy ending

  • @lugnn1215
    @lugnn1215 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Gale has autistic rizz and you cannot change my mind

  • @scottishkitty9636
    @scottishkitty9636 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I would love a follow up to this, but with even more unhinged rankings. Like, "sloppiest drunk", except I already know Gale would be number 1. Mans spent a whole year isolated in his tower- you're gonna tell me that he didn't spend at least half that time wine-drunk & ugly-crying?? Nah, Gale would be 3.5 glasses deep & start WEEPING. I love him so dearly, can't you tell-

  • @Flameclaw123
    @Flameclaw123 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "If you're looking for a guy who is regularly funny... you're gonna wanna pick a different guy" killed me

  • @completelyroundoak
    @completelyroundoak 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I cannot count the number of times i've been travelling with Minthara and she'll just open with the most unhinged shit imaginable.
    Combine her with the dark urge and they just reflect this insanity back at her to bask in and often doesn't even phase her at all, she just continues not only like you didn't just suggest cannibalism, but casually referring back to your mentioning of it and taking a solid moment to consider it.

    • @comandantegorrion7271
      @comandantegorrion7271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      The fact that her objection to “they should eat the refugees” is “no, because children make for an efficient workforce, but they can totally eat the weak and elderly” tells you *everything* about her character.

  • @namethefifth7315
    @namethefifth7315 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    "Among githyanki i am considered quite quite humorous"
    Lae'zel

  • @Tarfyen2
    @Tarfyen2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Minthara is more up on the tragic scale. She doesn't talk much about it but you can see through your mindlink to her during the romance that growing up in a society where it is considered some kind of a virtue to turn on your friends and betray everyone, she yearns for loyalty and being safe somewhere. Minsc should be last but his backstory is definetly the most funniest and lighthearted. That is until you explore certain dark urge options.

  • @andersfrieden567
    @andersfrieden567 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I think Lae'zel, Shadowheart and Astarion have the most potential for character growth provided that you lead them to a good aligned arc conclusions. The others I feel stay relatively the same as they were when you met them.

    • @zzflare
      @zzflare 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      they are also all morally grey and dont have problems with somewhat evil actions, so it works well trying to lead them to good.

  • @jah5391
    @jah5391 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I dunno, I'd put Spawn Astrian as #1 for most tragic because he just loses everything in the end. Even if you romance him and you go off to live with him in the shadows or go find a cure.... Tav eventually dies and leaves him alone forever *especially* if you're not an elf. The durge exclusive Astarion romance line, "In a thousand years, when I've all but forgotten how to love yet again, you'll flit back into my heart, I'll weep wondering what happened to my mad love" monologue is the only part in the game that actually made me tear up. I just wanted to see what happened if I lost and I have never reset faster in my entire life.
    Karloch I feel like has a chance to fix the engine and live a perfectly normal, happy life later because of the whole steel guard conversation at the gate. In my mind, she and Wyll hook up in the end and live happily ever after killing demons. Then they exentually fix her engine and have a super happy family.

  • @tmaxim2651
    @tmaxim2651 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Weirdly enough Astarion seems to have a bit of a soft spot for kids but pretends he doesn't.

  • @rue...whenwasthis
    @rue...whenwasthis 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    "you're backbone is made out of coocked spaghetti" is the best line i have ever heard

  • @Tabbycat2701
    @Tabbycat2701 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I will never emotionally recover from my music listening habits being most similar to how you described Minsc

  • @eri_bb
    @eri_bb ปีที่แล้ว +22

    🙋‍♀️ Wyll would put a light bulb in his mouth if you asked him to. He’s the only companion you don’t need to roll to persuade in his “big” moment. He doesn’t get the option to choose for himself, you have to choose for him. He’d put a lightbulb in his mouth for you if you asked.

    • @pianopuncher
      @pianopuncher 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You don't need to roll for shadowhearts big moment of choosing to betray Shar or kill the selunite if you choose the correct diaglogur options + have enough of a bond.

  • @Fistleo
    @Fistleo ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Excuse me, i did not sacrifice hundreds of tieflings to make Minthara like me. I did the reasonable thing and knocked her out, turned her into a sheep and dragged her to moonrise.
    Except i didnt do that because i didnt have polymorph so i had to kill her... :^(

  • @roybusch9980
    @roybusch9980 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Man, the category of best babysitter really is a contest for last place, huh?

  • @gothicshark
    @gothicshark ปีที่แล้ว +27

    You realize that Jaeira is a Half-Elf.. she has Ear Points, and she's well over 130 years old. (She was like 30 something in BG1 which happened 100 years ago) (edit: 1079.1 hours according to steam as of this minute. )

  • @Ayzis
    @Ayzis ปีที่แล้ว +16

    the "I don't know why she's wearing Astarion's armour" is SO REAL

  • @kamisamaks
    @kamisamaks ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Counterpoint on the Karlach Wizard.
    She could want to be an artificer.
    A very sad coping mechanism artificer. Who can fix any broken magical object.

    • @Victoriafaes
      @Victoriafaes ปีที่แล้ว +7

      oh my god this is gonna make me cry

  • @emsitdown9141
    @emsitdown9141 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I just want to say that from 45:37 when you're explaining why Gale thinks he could take a lightbulb out of his mouth, your cosplay truly shines because you absolutely look like Astarion goading Gale into putting a lightbulb in his mouth. Excellent.

  • @roo8521
    @roo8521 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Me who has hyperfixated on Gale and Gale alone not even knowing some of the companions apparently: 😮

  • @BevvRatBites
    @BevvRatBites ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Astarion's arc was seen to its fullest in my first playthrough, I did the whole vampire ascendant thing after showing him the value of friendship in a wholesome breakup, with Gale in tow I basically fed into everyone's power fantasies, made everyone including myself into a narcissistic God, and then there was Wyll, sitting happily in the corner in his lame robe, dumb hat, and having lost all his earthly powers because no more pact.

    • @ANPC-pi9vu
      @ANPC-pi9vu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Nah, I think Astarion's true fullest arc is staying Spawn, freeong his fellow spawn, giving a moving speach to the Gur about how the free spawn deserve the same chance he had, and going on to become their leader working dilligently to preserve lives in the epilogue. So much healing and growth. Ascendant is all machismo but actually still very sad and twisted on the inside. I still love him as Ascendant, but it is not a true good end at all.

  • @RaeLynn1632
    @RaeLynn1632 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    One note about the lightbulb thing: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Minthara would probably discuss using it as a torture technique, but also Minthara would legitimately use it on people. Also not the last list shadowheart 😭 girl how do you so regularly miss when the hit chance is 70% or higher

    • @nathanfivecoate5848
      @nathanfivecoate5848 ปีที่แล้ว

      You gotta respec her pretty much immediately so her stats aren't so scatterbrained

    • @CorvusFalcon
      @CorvusFalcon ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Without respeccing a lot of her more basic moves and cantrips have a % to hit, but even if she gets that the target ‘rolls a dice’ for a saving throw, so she’s gotta succeed two dice rolls with fairly high targets. Never goes well. (Best example of this is sacred flame. Respec her as soon as possible when you play)

  • @markmcmillan1146
    @markmcmillan1146 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    You put Gale "STOP LICKING THE DAMN THING!!!!" Dakarios so high on the light bulb list....but yeah fair

  • @antiformsora
    @antiformsora ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I must say, though, that Karlach and Shadowheart talk about wanting to shop together in the Lower City.

  • @Kayleska
    @Kayleska ปีที่แล้ว +9

    36:40 NO BECAUSE YOU'RE 100% CORRECT! The whole time you were going through their music tastes I was thinking to myself "To me, Gale only has 2 moods. When the mood strikes him, mushy goofy 80s love songs... and the entire rest of the time it's just Mitski" when I tell you I choked.
    Seriously though, I'm surprised you didn't mention First Love/Late Spring. Lyrical sections that are particularly relevant to him are included but not limited to:
    -the Japanese phrase in the chorus translates to "my chest is about to burst"
    -"I don't want to go home yet, let me walk to the top of the big night sky" HELLO? ACT II?
    -"one word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I'm on baby, tell me don't so I can go back in" HELLO??? Gale-coded asf, not to mention if you're romancing him, after the stargazing scene, he says he felt as if he was standing on a precipice and you pulled him back. This line works directed at both Tav/Durge romance AND Mystra.
    Thank you for coming to my TavTalk.

    • @mandylesss
      @mandylesss 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      as an obsessive mitski fan and gale defender, this comment changed my life

  • @Crabdoodles
    @Crabdoodles ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Hotness / Astarion: vampires are undead, so they're quite cold
    Tragic / Wyll: he can break his pact, but the devilish look is permanent after sparing karlach

  • @Envy_Dragon
    @Envy_Dragon ปีที่แล้ว +7

    38:16 I think that Shadowheart has at least one playlist of just anime songs, but she doesn't really know what anime is, she just thinks there's something about the vibe that really resonates with her on a fundamental level despite not being able to understand any of the words.

  • @Agohiza
    @Agohiza ปีที่แล้ว +474

    I respect the courage to call out Minthara lovers so boldly, so sorry Minthara lovers but I will not sacrifice a hundred tiefling refugees for one mean girl

    • @Pikaton659
      @Pikaton659 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      Just turn her into a sheep

    • @maelgwn1936
      @maelgwn1936 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      @@Pikaton659 GOD that solution is why I love this fandom sooooo much

    • @therat1117
      @therat1117 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Oh, but I will.

    • @blaize2638
      @blaize2638 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      You can also just knock her out

    • @ambrose6333
      @ambrose6333 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It’s okay we’re just built different (or cheat lmao)

  • @Malcorpse
    @Malcorpse 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The specific scenario I see when I imagine Karlach babysitting is that she decides to go chop wood so she takes the kid with her and they get really into it together like the kid loves seeing her chop through a log in one swing and she's teaching the kid how to do it and the kid is really exited to learn but they get way to into it and by the time you get back they've been chopping wood for 6hrs, you have enough wood to last 3 winters, and there are 8 new stumps in your backyard.

  • @alexshorts9714
    @alexshorts9714 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    one time my friend said, of imogen temult criticalrole (full legal name) that she was meant to be in a period romance running across the moors but instead she's being forced to experience the Horrors. i feel the same about wyll. i also feel the same about astarion but replace period romance with gossip girl

  • @alxkpp
    @alxkpp ปีที่แล้ว +15

    shadowheart produces dark ambient music and nobody can tell me otherwise

    • @Duskwind_
      @Duskwind_ ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think that she would have only one song on her playlist - Disturb's 'Sound of silence' 🤣