Can confirm that us ENFJs take social situations very seriously. I've been told I can be conversationally funny around people I know really well, otherwise I seem very reserved. I'm not even shy, I just don't have all that much to say lol.
Preach! I'm perceived as either the stoic or tenacious person in my social group and at work - it's either one or the other! I only say something when it's worth saying.
11:00 “The future is of often is often the means by which the ENFJ regulates anxiety” As long as I’ve planned the solution and I can see a good outcome, then I’m relaxed. I am most anxious when I feel like I don’t have control (a plan) and therefore have uncertainty about the future
@@RainbowRoadCrashTest I am Istp typed by Harry and I can tell you that having some sort of a possible outcome in mind or know how in a external situation can definitely help me. The anxiety won’t necessarily disappear in social situations but I can soldier through until the bad situation is overcomed.
@@ferdinandambroise-rousseau2743 Same, I may have suspected I am an ISTP. Though anxiety has always been a struggle for a good portion of my life. But yes, once I've made a plan that may help my future situation. Anxiety just doesn't magically go away. But it is probably more of a breezy kind of anxiety as a result. But if I usually don't do anything about it, built up anxiety comes at my door.
ENFJ here who is currently experiencing anxiety around my career trajectory owing to a spanner in the works; I can foresee how it will all play out fine in the long run but in the short term I'm experiencing a lot of trepidation & anger over the current context. I can't seem to disentangle the far from near future as they form a cohesive whole in my opinion. I don't need a linear trajectory per se but I do need a generalised kind of direction. The anxiety is real folks! 😮😊
I love this! Thank you for discussing how our social lives are something to be “maintained,” def true. It’s a struggle between not wanting to be lonely and not wanting to take on all the feelings of others! I also really appreciate you recognize our logical side and need for structure. And the weird self-preservation that bundles itself into the idea of being “correct” - it’s so strange to be at once so morally motivated and yet ready to fudge the truth a bit to preserve/maintain relationships and self image
I think many can perceive us as having 'no backbone' for that reason until we're pushed to a limit where all of the said logical inconsistencies of someone's beliefs/behaviour come out. I'm in such a dilemma at the moment; sometimes it simply isn't worth for a multitude of reasons expressing what the truth is until we're backed into a corner or circumstances necessitate that we become more brazen with what's going on internally 😊
The idea of having to maintain relationships. I tend to be the person always pushing and helping others. It can be overwhelming. I tend to distance myself from friends.
I really enjoy having conversations and discussions with ENFJs, being an INFJ, I do notice we very often agree with each other. They really respect logic and principles. Also, this video really came at the perfect time since I'm wondering if a friend of mine is one. ( I'll recommend this video to her, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.)
@@gargervon8697 currently me and my ENFJ friend are talking about her type. It's funny because she thinks she's an INFP unfortunately because of MBTI stereotypes. However, recently, I think she's starting to understand more about the ENFJ type. And usually, people always say we(me and her) are super similar in the way we think and behave. So It's always refreshing to talk to ENFJs.
I really like the idea of an ENFJ slob, living a double-life as a criminal, a mafia boss respected by everyone. Do you think David Goggins could be an ENFJ?
I thought for the longest time that I just never understood my type and flip flopped between quite a few. And when I finally settled back on ENFJ, others made me feel like I was wrong or didn’t know what I had been exploring all of this time. I spent so much time trying to understand personality type to try and critique it, only to find myself utilizing it to critique myself and try to understand deeper underlying problems that I had to address. When I stepped away late last year to lock in on my own journey and allowed myself to process some of my experiences, it made me realize how much I had been moving in circles. I even felt this way while in the CPT discord community. But now, months later of distance and revisiting this type once more and hearing what you had to say, the doubt is gone. There’s little doubt in my mind anymore that I am an ENFJ, especially after you pointed out our obsessions with politics and philosophy (I still have 7 books to catch up with on my philosophy reading list). Thank you for making this video, Harry. I hope other ENFJs are able to see and reach this video. It might help them relinquish the same doubts I had.
Hey Timothy, what you say sounds familiar to me. I've spent 2,5 years researching the types and kept being confused based on what 'typology savants' kept putting forward (MBTI-based savants) on the 3 types that I felt most connected to. It didn't help that out of the 46 tests I took in that period, 41 of them came out as INFJ. I was also very confused because of the supposed 'weakness' of the ENFJ with regards to TE, which I felt was quite decently developed in me and when describing some of the ENTJ characteristics, my friends and family all would go 'yup, that's you!'. That was in relation to me being a natural planner, organizer, take charge kind of person. While they saw those traits, I kept seeing the things I missed in each of the 3 types I kept circling between. I 'wasn't' some rainbow pooping unicorn like how the INFJ is often presented. I 'wasn't' the highly effective commander in chief like the ENTJ is often presented and I 'wasn't' the super charismatic guru like the ENFJ was often presented. It wasn't until I came across one of Harry's video's where in he went against what the mainstream MBTI savants say about the ENFJ that it clicked for me and that's when I knew I wanted him to type me. For the first time someone actually said that an ENFJ actually does 'not' like big, loud party crowds but prefers one on one interactions. Everyone else said the exact opposite, which was one of the things that kept me doubting. This is one of the reasons I'm very reluctant to type anyone, because I'm worried that if they go on the internet and start reading up on the types or watching the TH-cam video's, I fear they will take what they hear/read at face value which can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. (I'll stop rambling now... promise 😅)
Hi there, I'm a divergent ENFJ. I have a philosophy degree; I'd be really interested to hear what your interests are. Oh, I flipp flopped between ENTP, INTJ, INTP & INFJ for the longest time as my TiNi is the highest in conscious magnitude (this could have to do with me being a neurodivergent as well). May see you on the discord?
@@MysticaAriYenagreat to see you on here as well 😊. Do you know what your subtype is? We're definitely a very misunderstood type; ironically it's seems that ESFJs & ESFPs owing to popular type descriptions tend to mistype as ENFJs.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Hi there :) I don't know what you mean with subtype. I know you always refer to yourself as a divergent ENFJ, but I've never gotten in to the divergent/convergent stuff of CPT. Harry typed me as ENFJ as my main type with INFJ second (not sure if that counts for a subtype, also not sure what a subtype is supposed to be, so not claiming that). It was quite a challenge for me to analyse & figure out all the context, subtleties, connotations, meanings behind certain words/phrases/concepts used in relation to the entirety of the topic(s). So once I got my answer I didn't continue to try to understand the details of the technicalities. For me, I've come up with my own theory, which is that I'm pretty convinced that everyone has multiple personalities with a minimum of 2. One cognitive type and one behavioral type (this can be an entire type, but it is more likely that the behavioral 'type' only has partial elements of one or multiple of the other types as a means to survive the environment in which one finds oneself). One is static and doesn't change from birth till death and the other is dynamic and is influenced by environmental circumstances and can/does change through a lifetime. I use the video's as shortcuts to get more in-depth understanding, different perspectives, new angles to look at things and new connections with what I already know in order to expand my own understanding, insight and to widen and deepen my own theories. Going in to the detail of what each function does, in combination with other functions, is not really my cup of tea :) But it does help when Harry explains it in such a way that I can link it to my own experience and to understand human behavior and choices in general. So once he does it (or others whose video's I watch), that allows me to connect the dots. Not sure if that makes sense, but it feels natural to me to do it this way.
@@MysticaAriYenaI appreciate the ramble and appreciate your insight and hearing your typing journey! It definitely helps to set my mind at ease on the matter. :)
Everything you said about Fe/Se is totally resonating. Wow. Thank you for being so real and having actually studied the type strong enough to hit this. Yes. I definitely take the social realm far too seriously to just let it be something bubbly and be overly playful. Always saw my right time for everything as the Ni/Se timing, but either way it definitely resonates. And I appreciate the acknowledgement of how we are prone to keep our intuition private. Especially if those around us don’t appreciate it. I struggled with this a lot in high school and below. Anyway, thank you for this awesome and nuanced video. -ENFJ
My daughter who is a teacher and high minded and always needs to be occupied and busy and can’t self occupy alone… she gets panicky and bored …and has tested INFJ but I know she is ENFJ. I am INFJ. She is very very practical and logical and can do and always wants to do the right thing
hey! late answer but I'm curious. i type as infj too but i have also quite a lot from enfj (i think?) what is the main difference? why do you think your daughter is rather ENFJ than INFJ? i am trying to figure out my type and stuck between infj and enfj
@@sweetea6550 my daughter gets bored easily and can go from teaching to school to kickball without missing a beat! As an INFJ I need epic amounts of downtime to process everything. And she is more “real world” oriented as extroverts are while I create my own world literally….i am an artist and writer and always have a very unique take on things. Very few people think like me I read somewhere that ENFJ are the most introverted of the extroverts because they care about social norms and can read everything intuitively so they can hypercare about how they come off appropriately… which makes them appear introverted. When she was younger I thought my daughter was introverted and her INFP brother was extroverted .. as they are older and have grown into their personalities (age 25 and 29) I see her extroversion and many friends while he is an introverted musician!!!
You described me perfectly! I was always confused by the belief that I’m supposed to be a fluffy type, but I’m always the first person (aside from my INTP family member) to correct illogical assumptions or statements. Which can come across as blunt. The past few years have really brought this trait out in me, as misinformation has taken over mainstream society and I can envision the potential of that misinformation to destroy peace and stability within our society… negatively affecting the Fe values. But I am on the frontlines of societal change, with environmental focus.
This is the first and only true explanation of me on the internet. I could not find anything wrong to point out, every word was spot on. Thank you so much.
FINALLY! 💗I appreciate this so much! Small points to bring in because you brought some of them up. I smiled so much; I'm working as a Unit Manager within HR for the City Administrative Office, I have excelled from being a nurse - took 10 years to get to here without a degree; I have no problem showing that I can, before I take my steps. I went through Operation management, Project lead and Function manager positions. I learn before I do, always - I do get computer system quite easily but wouldn't care to learn how they are programmed. I get people (motivate/inspire/coach) which I find "easy". Responsibility triggers my soul - seemingly so that the more responsibility I have, the happier I get (dangerous combo), and the faster I excel. Safety is the absolute most important part of any action, environment, and decision. I will correct behavior, grammar, and opinions that goes against my very convinced sense of what is right and wrong. I do it rather generalized though. My value system is simple in its complexity, in a way. Wrongly accused, or too sharp criticism turns my world into a reflection. I will go through the totality of my actions, words, and behavior to find truth. I always start with me! There are so many mistyped ENFJs, and the stereotyping is slowly frustrating me. I take things very serious even though I like to laugh often. I rather stand as the right hand, than in the limelight; I'm fierce in my honesty within family and friend groups, and I will lead when others fail to step up. 🫶 Thank you for making this video! 💖
I love learning things I'm interested in and taught right, I excel at it! I am a leader but also can be lead. I do love a good challenge. I do self reflect a LOT and always with myself first. I am very honest and to the point with family and friends. I do love laughing but I also am serious when needed ( which can be a lot more than I am laughing).
I’ve never been called out for my need of organization like your video suggests and you are correct! I enjoy the puzzle of finding the connection, and even through my mind jumps from A to K to Z to F, there is a system to my madness. I see all at once (abstract) and then need to sort into place. I think the reason we may be a little “mysterious” is because we are so curious asking about others. We don’t always share ourselves and maybe get lost in the mix.
Your "Signs you are not an ISFP" video really woke me up from a deep misundestandion of CPT! I had considered myself pretty much every intuitive type but not any sensors. I then realized I might be an ISxP and came to a conclusion that I am an ISTP in fact! I watched this video to make sure I am not an ENFJ and next I'm going to make sure I am not an ESTP through your similar video as this! You really have the most informative videos I've never seen
My other half got concerned when he briefly saw Harry on a coaching call lol but when I said it was Harry from CPT (he knows my love of CPT & what I geek out on) he was like 'ok, that's fine then,' 😂😅
An ENFJ here who relates to what you said about varying degrees of conscientiousness. I can be very contentious at work and then suddenly being the messiest traveller I know of. I am able to forget the departure time of my flights, to not having packed what I needed at all etc. My family makes fun of me for this because it is so stickingly different from the precision and care I give in other settings! 😅
That was so spot on! I was stunned! No other video on the subject described us so well and I watched many of them. I subscribed very quickly lol I definitely appreciated what you said about how we're not generally the life of the party 'always' as social interactions drain us and how we can be quite the introverted extroverted as when I got to mbti everywhere I looked said that I must be a crazily extroverted person always in the middle of every dance floor to be an enfj and it made me think I'm an infj for the longest time. Also I felt like I had very good Ti but that also resonates with what you're describing here with our relationship with Ti. You're on a whole other level from the rest of them, this video was crazy! Would love your take on estjs as I checked and saw you don't have one currently. My bf is an estj and we feel as if they are heavily stereotyped in the community (even more than us enfjs as you mentioned in the video). So looking forward to that in the future, you'll probably have interesting things to say!
My ENFJ sister is married to an ESTJ. It can be pretty rocky. They struggle with talking through core issues and instead sweep things under the rug only to repeat the same fight. The ESTJ verbalizes the same criticisms the ENFJ has in her head which is a double whammy especially with the sensitivity to criticism. What does work is the ESTJ likes to provide the awesome sensory experiences (good food, outings) that my sister loves.
This video is something I really needed. ENFJ is the type my typology journey started from and it was always a central type I kept reconsidering. This video gave me a trustworthy source of information on the type. After watching the video, I can say I'm fairly sure I'm an ENFJ. I still intend to get typed by you, just to be really sure (I'm actually the guy who recently sent you an email about the age question!). All of these signs mostly fit me on a daily basis, which is probably telling! To me it's actually interesting that I considered this type the first after learning about cognitive functions, cause, as you said, not a lot of people think of themselves as an ENFJ. Also, I'm interested in your thoughts on this. I noticed that I sometimes experience periods of actually feeling resentment towards the broader society. I still usually blame myself too in those moments, but also feel like other people just don't try to help or support me. It usually happens when I don't get enough affirmation to continue being efficient in society. (I'm the guy who organizes plans and events in my friend group) We had a nice discussion with a person from the CPT FaceBook group about this, they suggested it might be due to other people not living up to my expectations of human conduct. So, my question is, in what cases could an Fe dominant experience even resentment or negative emotions towards people? Also, if it wasn't obvious, big thanks for the video, I'll definitely reflect on it for the next few weeks or so.
I discovered Jung’s system of cognitive functions almost ten years ago. For a few years I was sure I was an INTP (like many people in that case I was just a bit depressed, sorry to all the real INTPs), then ENTP seemed far more probable, with my soft trolling attitude and my love for Ti. But after seriously getting into Socionics and finding I was an EIE, I finally tried to understand the ENFJ type. Like you said, it never crossed my mind that I could be one because though I’m extroverted , I’m clearly not the life of the party, I hate having too many friends because I only have so many hours in my day, and since I’m really good at getting people’s emotions if I’m surrounded by negativity or sadness I’m also negative and sad, so far away from the ENFJ stereotype. Big groups are too dangerous for my volatile mood ! Anyway, my Ti has always shown so much in everyday life that I doubted it could be fourth, but as you said real people are too complex to be encompassed by a rigid system of ordered cognitive functions. Thank you for this video !
Ditto! I was typed by CPT as a divergent ENFJ so TiNi convergent more than divergent. I also thought I was an ENTP for a very long time & had considered INTP & INTJ as well. Turns out re INTJ that that was just my NiFi building up in the background. You sound like you have a fully integrated Ti like myself. What enneagram are you? I'm a 5w6.
You do realize your found a dogshit system that is not taken seriously in psychology right? Maybe you should discover how bad it's validity and reliability are.
Extraordinary! 😁 This presentation has to be one of the best descriptions of the ENFJ personality profile I have seen. I hate most of the descriptions of the ENFJ on the internet: “Fluffy”-I love that one-and Bubbly. I have never been bubbly a day in my life. 😆 I’m way too serious most of the time…although I do hug people left and right. 😂 (My INTJ uncle hates that-he’ll get over it.) Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you for giving us the depth we often feel inside!!! I thought I was INFJ for the longest time. But I have definite Ni parent and Ne critic for sure…and Se child! Thank you again! ❤️
"Just don't do you're own thing," pmsl 🤣 my partner would certainly attest to this as would the young people I work with. It's not that I'm an absolutist or indeed draconian but rather I've considered all the angles in a very systemised & nuanced way; I do pride myself on my ability to foresee how social interactions will play out & therefore what the best course of action will be. I don't think we expect to be showered with praise but some small tokens of gratitude would be appreciated; it's why I'm much more discerning in who I offer advice to at 38 years of age. Overall, this was stella content once again Harry! You're right I do think our abstract side is often overlooked by others; luckily in work I'm in a domain where I can utilise this aspect of myself & im highly thought of...well from all but one person who is threatened by my skills set (long story I'm sure I'll divulge more when we speak next...I'm livid)...I'm glad you mentioned that we're not this huggy kissy type; I've found myself in a situation recently where I was calm but very assertive; as much as I don't like confrontation some conversations need to be had...yup we take very little BS from other people & on this occasion I'm luckily I have a team rallied behind me. As a divergent subtype I do find myself oscillating more between my extroverted side as the situation necessitates thanks to cognitive fluidity; this begets a feeling of holistic being to some extent. On the topic of divergence, I had an interesting discussion with Rob on twitter about this & neurodivergence: Rob postulated that neurodivergent people are either drawn to the extremes of the ego or the divergent pairing as they have more access to the unconscious...I have to say this is making perfect sense to me but I need to explore the implications more...so much for the autistic who is working around blind to reality eh...we all have a degree of 'mind blindness' to some extent which can be both a blessing & curse. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on Robs take; I'll probably bring this to a patreon discussion if that's ok with you Harry. Fundamentally, CPT more so than any psychotherapy (& baring in mind I'm a mental health professional - not to bash CBT, DBT etc they have their place) has given me an understanding of myself on an individuated level that I couldn't have garnered from anywhere else...the coaching sessions are enabling me to reach parts of my psyche that I didn't think even existed, nevermind possible which has translated into positive implementation...and you know I've had a difficult time of it over the past few years & with my Ti oppositional I'm a very difficult customer to please so please take this as a sincere complement from a grumpy old ENFJ cynic! Harry I know you don't like over veneration but sincerely, from an ENFJ who knows where it's at, you should be remarkably proud of your convergent Ni-Ti contributions to the wider community & academia...I know it's hard being a centre piece/rallying point especially as an introverted type...please keep up the amazing work but most importantly take care of yourself & everything else will transpire in time, there's no rush 😊😊😊
I feel so seen after watching this video. It’s nice to have the more nuanced parts of the type recognized. We’re not always gregarious and overbearing in approach.
ENFJ - The absolute rarest type in the media. I don't know what is the reason behind it. They are not the rarest i.r.l., but good luck to find an ENFJ male, it is a rare gift to have one in your close circles.
I think we're generally very misunderstood and caste in the light of the ESFJ hence the lack of representation in media to some extent. I do agree with empirical statistics that we do only comprise i small proportion of the population; irl I only know of myself & my twin sister and 2 others who are content creators. I think many, many ENFJs especially divergent subtypes like myself (TiNi convergents) mistype as so called thinking types albeit I don't agree with the dichotomies; we all think & feel it's just contingent upon the perceiving function it's attached to 😊. Thank you for saying it's a rare gift; what is it you generally admire about the type? 😊
Excellent, thoughtful analysis. Due to the speed at which you speak and the accent that I'm not used to hearing on a regular basis, I'm going to go back and pause and process it all more deeply. But everything I picked up on was so true. I also appreciate the caveat of "it depends" when using typology and how people are more dynamic than a 4x4 matrix. 😊
Thank you. I have had a lot of trouble typing myself but this explanation resonated more than anything. And yes, neat and orderly at work but can be a bit messy in my home. But all I need is someone to say they’re coming over and I will tidy up at a speed that seems impossible.
I am an ENFJ software engineer! It feels natural sometimes, and hard at others, depending on how complete I feel my understanding of what I am working on is at a given time (need that bedrock to be confident in my solutions, hehe).
I'm an INFJ who is a Junior Front End Developer. I think the human and planning part of creating Websites and UI/UX design is always an interesting part. But too specific and mathematical stuff is not as fascinating, although necessary.
@mimcris8481 Nice! I am full stack, and I did web programming for most of my career. My last job and my current one are desktop app development, but in both cases, the UI has generally been my favorite part, too. With underlying data structures and such, I can enjoy it if it isn't too messy, but I definitely am a proponent of "simpler is better" there. I hate over-engineered code. I can get impatient with trying to keep up with all the new design patterns people keep coming up with. Let me get used to a system, will ya? 😆
ESTPs drain me. I love their high energy and fun loving spirit, but they can also be very intense and judgmental. And they can rarely sit still. At least that’s been my experience with them.
It's nice to hear of other ENFJs who are doing so well 😊. I have to admit I'm a bit of a burnt out ENFJ at the moment but I'm sure I'll get my mojo back once I get some Ni inspiration.
I have been looking forward to this video, I think my brother is an ENFJ, the convergent FeSe is definitely there. He can be a big cuddly teddy bear sometimes, but watch out for the claws.😄
TiSi is something I use intuitively. I turn memorization into a game to help me. If I actually tell myself it’s a duty or chore… I just won’t do it. Spot on! 😂 loved the video - ENFJ
This is interesting I'll have to give this a go! I always hated how languages were taught at my school for that reason; it was just memorising copious amounts of grammar & verbs etc
Yes! I was telling my friend I didn't understand how the "intellectual" types fell for Scientology with their motto alone, it DOESN'T make sense. I read, re read the motto over and over, its definitely incoherent. It's gibberish. Reading that alone is enough to make me question and not join until someone can explain and make it make sense. Most ppl can't answer, so no.
So interesting! Thanks! I believe I'm an ENFJ who's decided to strife for not being one...the joy! ;-) It's a life-long learning journey aimed at freedom...of thinking, of being
I'd agree freedom of thought is a big aim of mine especially as a divergent subtype. I've become somewhat dubious of academic theories in the field I work in & would much prefer to formulate on my own merits.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Haha, academic here too! 🙋♀And buttressing my comment were exactly your thoughts. It's not the easiest path though. I'm quite skilled in jumping through settled (academic/disciplinary/moral/'correct', etc.) hoops...yet I don't really believe in this way of working and thinking
This explains why my ENFJ very young child would meltdown if I corrected the way a job was being done, why they would throw elaborate costume parties and then disappear from the social scene for weeks. Why despite having tons of friends in High School, she prefers to keep her social circle smaller as an adult. It also explains why she's super encouraging and yet the first to point out your bullshit at the same time, and finally why when a trusted leader or foundational principle to her life is toppled why it sends her into a tailspin. She is relying on external measurements of correctness and propriety much more than me as an INTJ.
If you don't mind me asking (I'm an ENFJ ignore the username lol) how old is she now? I have to say I'm 39 and as we age I think generally speaking our allegiance to authority wanes a lot in fact I don't abide by any deep standards of correctness (save bad manners which I abhor) or place authority in trusted people (academics & so forth). Bare in mind I am a divergent TiNi subtype but still I think with reality we can become more disillusioned with age albeit that's a necessary part of the journey to being the change & leaders we want to see ourselves. I think in time we learn to blame ourselves & give ourselves a break every now & again. Ha I'm much more of a recluse in my old age - no one gets in! 😂
Woah, i am on the verge of crying, you have no idea how much better this made feel , ( even though to be honest English isn't my first language and your accent isn't helping 😅 so i had hell of a time trying to understand this and i probably still missed a lot )like I obviously didn't believe I was an enfj at first reading the overly stereotyped simplified description, that was before I discovered the core of mbti , cognitive functions and then I was blown away by how much of an fe-Ni-se-ti I am , so I settled for the idea that I was probably the unhealthy version of me since I didn't fit the bubbly make every one happy version but again I didn't feel that unhealthy, I mean take my somewhat good social life , the first " would be victim " of unhealthiness if I ever expressed one ,so ?I went with maybe I am borderline unhealthy and not living up to the potential of my personality, but THIS ,thank you seriously lifted much self blame of my shoulders( why is that the first instinctive emotion i feel in this situation, beats me ,try living as an enfj ,we are born with a preordered amount of guilt and self blame just for the fact of being born), and I know someone " fi users say hi " is probably gonna be like " why would you take a personality test this seriously, can't you just know yourself and how you are feeling by your self " well ,welcome to my life where I get every info about me after it's reflected back to me through others ( basically the consequences my feelings and actions got on others ) so yep personality tests ,specifically the highly trustworthy ones ( yep mbti is one of them by my standards) are a very important tool for my self discovery, one that I take more seriously then it probably deserves, anyhow I lost what I was trying to say ,yeah just thanking you for providing a very realistic and " true to mbti " description of enfjs , I feel immensely understood 🤓😆👋
I echo we are incredibly hard on ourselves but it always seems warranted...you get my drift? Yes, even by the simple fact of being born lol! If I can offer some impromptu advice: lean into that TiNi pairing more & develop your own world view/formulations as a 38 year old veteran it does take the edge off of that self blame albeit comes with a fair degree of anxiety. I found that a lot of so called experts didn't adequately answer my questions in multiple domains so I started to take the challenge upon myself in my early 20s & I've never looked back. I can be perceived as an overly confrontational or contrarian individual because of it but it's definitely protected my vulnerable FiSi to a degree & ensures I'm living by my own values...easy said than done when your FeSe isn't wanting to harmonise with other people, I know 😊
@@AnyaAnnika67 woah thank you so much for the attention and advice " senpai " in life ( Japanese word for senior) , I am a 22 years old complete slave of FeSe always running after the next shinny thing that needs attention and care ( stray cats recently) to the point where the declining of my mental health stopped me and my infj best friend wipped me into shape , and to be honest going to my inner world ( NiTi)and rationalizing " why am I not acting to help this or that creature " or " that I don't need to always be doing some major life saving act to simply exist " by normal realistic standards like " I am only one person with limited physical capacity , resources and time " or " to be selfish to a certain degree is to be human and there is no escaping that " , all this process still feels like running away and excuses, even though I know It's right it feels wrong, so yeah I am still a baby at this , hopefully there will be a day when I am satisfied with simply existing or better when I see the true value of my tiny helpful contributions to other lifes , when I truly think that putting a smile on someone's face or changing a person's hurtful perspective is as influential and important as saving a life , and I sincerely hope you would think that too , now that got awfully personal 😅 got too excited thinking someone actually understands 🤓 btw have you checked the website to this channel, there are blogs written about an intj's experience with different personality types there , one of them is destined to enfj and it's gorgeously written, quite dramatic by my standards but nonetheless true and heartwarming, you should check it out if you haven't, your self esteem will appreciate it , thanks again let's do our best at this thing called living with sane minds and open hearts ✊
The scaffolding learning technique is so true😂❤ I don't even have to put efforts into realising similarities between two concepts or events...it helps me better remember the concepts and better understand the events by giving more insights...but yes it maybe an individual difference rather than an ENFJ characteristic
3:00 It took me some time to not get upset over other team member's under-activity/ inactivity cause though I may not be the team leader, how everyone performs does bother me😂 For instance, we 5 (in a therapeutic fun art activity) were said to paint a picture of animals we were enacting, and though I may not have said it, the girl drawing panda was really bad at it and literally for no reason I got concerned about her drawing anything more😭❤
@@phishhhhyup this sounds like me in work. I'm actually better being in charge so I can oversea who is doing what I think this is the ESTJ in us. Nothing can align perfectly if one of the pieces are broken.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Yes so true💯 Broken pieces may make a beautiful vase but I doubt it's durability😭 Also we naturally end up leading the group if there aren't any active leadership personalities present...but we do provide our contribution and are glad to be in assistance of others, completing whatever part the leader assigns♥️
funny how he does that, isn't it? That was my reaction too when I first heard him say something to the effect of 'if you love being in a big crowd, you are most likely not an ENFJ. Unless you can look at that crowd as one entity'... Suddenly, everything fell in to place for me. This was in 2020 (damn, it's been more than three years already).
this is my classical mbti type based on the facets. If you are a guy, in a introverted culture, with some kind of diagnosis or socia l disorder you will have a very hard time typing yourself as this type. Now whether it is my type as far as CPT goes i will have to properly grasp the difference between classical enfj and cpt enfj
Honestly, I'd just throw all the classical MBTI stuff out of the window & read Harry's ebook. I'd never have ascertained my type as a divergent ENFJ without being typed by CPT; I thought I was an ENTP or INTJ. CPT really gets into the nuance of type & really locks in on cognition as opposed to behaviourally imbued stereotypes 😊
@@AnyaAnnika67 I find the 20 facets super accurate though after months of self-examination The big five works great for just assessing ones current state. CPT is a useful tool for examining cognition but i wouldn't say it fully encompasses all the angles of personality, not even close. Dream analysis worked wonders. What else, right CT or cogntiive type was pretty great as well. But well, if you interpreted classical mbti as the cognitive function stacking and survey test-taking i totally agree that it is a mess.
I finally can relate to most of the elements on one of your types videos. I came from ENFP to ESFJ to ENFJ. As a FeSe pairing I’m very intense with my social interactions I take very detail account to how people react and how they act. I sometimes tend to clash with them too. Sometimes I can be grumpy if somebody acts out of character in a social setting. Im very quick to judge people too.As a NiTi pairing I have always looked for an internal cohesion of how people and sometimes I myself present to the outer world. This confusion led me to use my Fe function and Ti function for this matter. Im not very orderly or strict with routines under stress, I can procrastinate and become sloppy. Perhaps I’m an ENFJ.
The ENFJ sloppiness is real! I'm a slob at home no thanks to my ADHD but more orderly at work. I really can't help it as my executive function & hence task switching is weak but it's something I'm working on as my ESFP fiancé has a high ESTJ network & you know how they feel about organisation across the board! My procrastination has cost me a lot in terms of career performance etc. Worth noting I'm a divergent ENFJ (TiNi subtype) so I tend to be stuck in my head often which doesn't help. I think we're great at theoretically understanding what we need to do but execution can suffer. If we joined forces say with an ENTJ we'd be a force to be reckoned with. If you're deciding whether you're an ENFJ id really look at the degree to which you are calculated forming multiple contingencies as Harry expressed - behind that amenable exterior the mind is always working out the next steps & we can be extraordinarily perceptive of others.
This was great!!! I’ve actually been waiting for this video, and wow-so informative and deeply insightful. It helped solidify my understanding ENFJs, as well as open my eyes to new understanding, particularly how the Ti-Si dynamic plays into aspects of the ENFJ that have always perplexed me. Thank you!!!
Love this one.. as an ENTP getting too close to ENFJs wrecks my world view. Much better appreciated and loved from afar and appreciated for the best things. Outshining or wrecking their very serious landscape is off the books. I could never make mbti work right and thanks to this video you finally and kindly well produced at that, the convergent/divergent difference in the whole thing. Knowing how Si really works and Lens pairing create such a opposite head bashing intenset jesting match. Used to mistype ESFJ alot too. I feel they suit ISFJ/P or INFP. The ENTP Si makes total sence now. I seen this thing in 3d. Buying book nw bro!G
I was gonna say you can come n wreck my landscape but that, well, just sounds dodgy 😂. I think of the likes of Gillian Anderson...there is an utter goof ball underneath, we're just very private individuals & I think the sensitivity of Fi-Si (same for the ENTP) kind of makes us guise that vulnerability in a hard shell....if you knew the secret lives of the ENFJ it'd be a different story...I lived as an Ne nomad for most of my 20s. My son is actually an ENTP & we're both by far more 'chill' than his ESFP father who's closer to the ENTJ end of the spectrum. Ironically, & touché chat I find that behind the chaos monkey veneer ENTPs are just as vulnerable as us with their Fi-Si. Of course you do get some ENFJs that need to take a chill pill but I think that's more contingent upon personality aspects superfluous to cognition. How many of us have you met btw (as in the actual cognitive ones?)...I'm a divergent subtype so Ti-Ni convergent & quite different to my twin who's a default ENFJ. I'm all for being outshined; I'm quite the social introvert & generally keep myself to myself - I can be pretty stubborn but that's as far as it goes. I think when we picture your classic default ENFJ you're looking at the likes of Danearys from GOT & Tyrion in terms of ENTP (I prefer Tyrion much more btw) when there's shades of grey in between but I understand I'm not gonna be everyone's cuppa (ironically ESFPs never seem to warm to me, which is fine). ESFP now needs to take a chill pill, I swear these guys Te is underrated in MBTI 😮😂
Thank you very much for this video! It made me understand my ENFJ sister so much better and also why she and her INTP boyfriend sometimes struggle so much but also are good at fields where the other is not haha Love your work, you brought so much light to this theory keep up the good work!:D
This is interesting; as an ENFJ I actually find I have quite a natural kinship with most INTPs (albeit an overgeneralisation) but in saying that I do have a high SiTi convergent pairing. In saying that I think I can get along with anyone aslong as they're polite & courteous (my pet peave is rude people!) 😊
ENTP fella here! So universe eh when my star of ENFJ ex is back in town today.. You make a 5 signs finally for this Archetype! Im Proud to say Noope, I'll watch later or hopefully never - Psychoanalyzing Evil and Self Loathing can wait I have to go now.....
@@AnyaAnnika67 Thanks u made me smile! Although I think it's unfair or untrue to type children or anyone probably before the age of 24..but I trust the enfj/mothers intuition and gotta admit u made me blush n smile hahah ffs
This is honestly so relatable behaviorally. Especially when you mention scaffolding learning techniques to learn a new idea. But I honestly see that as a preference for ni-ti because it relies on conceptual principles holistically to relate and add on to the idea like a scaffold. But yeah makes sense that we'd struggle more with specific details to learn mechanisms and sequences through a logical framework. But considering this is all behavioral traits of types, just wondering can you see any relations to speech patterns towards typing Aswell?
I don't know what your take is on vultology as an adjunctive to typing Harry but I've been watching a guy from CT who actually types people scarily accurately based off bodily cues, eye movements etc...I think he got one person mistyped as an INFJ (yeah that's obligatory lol) but otherwise he was spot on. I wouldn't use it primarily but as an adjunctive, yes. What he did offer was more accurate presentations of INTJs, INFJs, ENFJs etc which I was happy to see. If many people watched they'd realise that they definitely weren't the latter two especially.
I am an ENFJ that aligns with the typical description. Most people overlook ENFJ as a possibility is probably because only 2% of the population are ENFJs; it is the rarest personality type.
Harry just to add: would you say that in as much as the ENFJ can lift people up they're also adept at bringing people down a peg or 2? Sorry to add a negative spin but when I'm not in a particularly healthy state of mind, or from my younger self I've noticed that I really do know how to press peoples buttons going right for the throat; not that I'm proud of that but it is useful to have in situations where someone might be less than moral should we say. Thank you for saying that there is a calculating interior 😂😊 tis true; not that we're a bad bunch but I often find we're by far more 'in the know how' than our amenable exterior might suggest.
I'd say more than 2 pegs if need be lol. I'm actually quite known for that personally. It is the part that makes people think I'm an ENTJ. Also...I hate doing it, I hate being forced to do it, but I will still do it because the need to serve the greater good can not and must not be ignored. Although, in getting older, I've become more picky as to the moments I'm doing it. Now I only do it when I deem it worthy. If I don't do it, it's not necessarily because I agree, but mostly because I think it's wasted energy. You become more selective when you grow older.
i tend to avoid negative things and conflict. so i dont accumulate compromising information about people(unless that is obviously bad and i need to, to protect myself in a lecturing form lol), sometimes i think i should have... but i just prefer not to. such things dont come naturally to me when i want them to pop up in my mind, they do when i want it the least lol
So excited this one finally dropped! I always have no idea what type I am, with 90% of my tests giving me ENFJ, but based on some of your other videos I question if I am an INFJ, ENTP, or even ISFP. I have phases where I’ll convince myself I am an ENFJ, then others where I’ll convince myself I’m an INFJ, or the other types I mentioned above, as well as ESFJ, ENFP, ENTJ, etc lol. Love these videos, very informative!
I just found out I'm a ENFJ-Turbulent the other day. I always had friends picking me out in school as leader. And I was the oldest of 2 other siblings. The test results explained me perfectly even down to my random anger snaps which are rare for me. I have high patience. But not with certain things. Especially when my friends are being unfairly attacked. I love my friends.
Honestly the ENFJ is the type that is the most similar to the INTJ stereotype. All of the CPT ENFJ’s I know are among of the most logical people I have ever met. There isn’t a type that seems to value logic anywhere near as much as the ENFJ. Not even Ti doms come close to their logical robustness.
Completely off topic but this hairstyle suits you so much and makes you look younger and cooler than when it was short. Just in case you were wondering lol.
You must be aware of Socionics Model G. Because it also states ENFJs use NiTi jointly in their creative Self Realization block. The Creative Self realization block being made up of the mbti 6th and 4th functions.
I think this is very much going to be contingent upon subtype in CPT. I'm a divergent ENFJ (TiNi) so not all of the above applies to myself; whilst I do struggle with SiTi divergence my SiTi convergence is very high in conscious magnitude. I also struggle with my FiSi convergent pairing whereas using TiNi convergently is my realm so to speak.
Hi~ please do type comparison between ENTP, ENFJ and ENTJ 🙈🙏 I really enjoy your style of content, and can't figure out the difference between the two. Thank you~
There is a ENFJ vs ENFJ comparison video 😊. ENFJs tend to be a lot more serious than our convergent feeler counter parts (ENTPs) as our Fe is less playful. ENTPs are a type a generally seek to click with however & they teach me to loosen up a bit.
For the record, I am here solely because I have been having a doozy of a time with tests, etc. So, finally, I looked up the one real person in history that I have been likened to most often, by several sources and all of them trained to spot people that are THIS exact kind of person, to find out what his type was thought to be and this is it. So, now I learn what this type is all about.
0:26 It's funny how I watch your INFJ then ENFJ video trying to figure out which one is Monica from DokiDokiLC, and here the auto-subtitles are trolling me by mispelling "ironic" as "Monica"... xD
The hilarious part about this is I would love to share this with my ENFJ sister but I fear it's too technical for her. She's very smart but impatient with new sciences that she isnt super personally invested in so mbti memes or high level bullet points work best. I love all the atomic details but it seems the feeling doms prefer their component states.
Ha I've tried sharing this with my ENFJ twin (shes the default variant I'm the divergent subtype) but to no avail as of yet. It just goes to show the variation amongst our type: her Ti-Ni is very stubborn at what she'll give a chance to infiltrate her Ni worldview as she's heavily invested in psychotherapy etc & doesn't see the relevance of CPT despite me trying to persist with telling her that CPT is very much focused on individual variation! If you've managed to find a way in please feel free to let me know. I also know of a content creator who thinks she's an INTJ (I initially thought I was this type) who's an ENFJ who I've tried to direct towards this video. We can be a highly stubborn type when it comes to our TiNi albeit as a divergent subtype I'm much more liable I think to give something a try for the sake of exploration; not everything has to be antagonistic to our TiNi & that's the point I hope ENFJs will eventually realise - it doesn't negate our other modes of thinking/universal theorems of everything. I get it's scary to have our oppositional Ti challenged & identity in the process but it's well worth it. I was initially really bemused (and alarmed) about being typed by Harry as a divergent ENFJ but it's given me a whole new perspective on what I need to work on & a greater understanding of types that I might not necessarily gravitate towards; my fiancé is an ESFP & we've had a lot of difficulties in understanding each others perspectives - I view him as too limbically charged where he thinks I'm too cerebral/not invested in talking about emotions...I'll never be an overtly emotive person but it's definitely something I can work on, I just tend to keep such things very private. I thinks it's ironic that for such a seemingly personable type we're probably the most private out of all the types (open to debate on this one lol).
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Fe is Jordan Peterson and how every word he utters has an attached emotional weight to it. I believe the best word to describe an Fe dom would be "responsible". The predisposition towards responsibility for its own sake even. (In the extreme case like my old friend.) Basically, making order out of social landscape. If Ne is ADHD, then Fe is BPD.
Jordan Peterson is most probably an ISFP with a strong INFJ under cognition. I rmbr Harry said that in one video. Not really an Fe dom though. Maybe that's why everything he says has emotional weight attached to it, because it's coming from a strong Fi - Fe relational empathy standpoint. It's very Fi-imbued logic.
Can you explain what you mean by the BPD and ADHD part? I work in the mental health field and even as someone who works in the field, Im not really understanding what you mean by that. I also have a sibling with BPD and I can say they are probably the least socially appropriate person I've ever known. They don't take social situations seriously at all, and in fact can react with rage so intense that it completely disrupts social situations
@@phoenixxsoulmpletely agree hence why I think they've used the BPD analogy re ISFP & Jordan Peterson; not that he has BPD but rather he's very much attached Ti hence Fi, so not an ENFJ. Mandy Patinkin & Gillian Anderson are good examples of ENFJs. We're actually, neurosis aside, a very regulated type as Harry mentioned. If I had to make an analogy to a mental disorder & Fe OCD (but not ocd just a given) would be very apt albeit without the concomitant anxiety.
I tried to watch and listen to this and just ended up scrolling through comments to feel what others were thinking about this video lol I’ve only tested ENFJs and I take the test annually.
Very cool and interesting:) i regularly mistype as enfj in those forced company mbti quizzes, and this was so insightful. I definitely have an enfj friend (who mistypes as infp, as so many do)
Same! I thought I was enfp but my enfp friend doesn't act like me and is quite detached / doesn't put effort in relationships and I was much organized than her. I though I was infj cause I was reserved in group convos I just checked now I am an enfj after taking the mbti
I relate exactly to what you have said! plus, I can easily make friends, but I don't have big social circles, I actually like to keep mine small and tight, and keep to myself, but mostly because people let you down and aren't as dependable and good as a friend as I am to them! if I thought I was INFJ, but actually compared to my INFJ boyfriend, I can see how I get energised from others and do ultimately need to be around people.@@Someonemkln
The way you pair the functions throughout the video is interesting to me. Have you thought about creating a section on your website where you explain how you pair functions and allow people to read about each pair? As an INTP I've had numerous occasions where my Ti+Ne kind of saw patterns which I extrapolated on without knowing what they mean, only to later analyze them and find that they contained a lot of insight. For an example I reinvented the wheel by creating the entire intertype relations chart from socionics before I discovered socionics. As for pairings, I once saw a pattern and listed the functions in a unique way, in the case of INTPs as Ti(Ni)-Ne(Te)-Si(Fi)-Fe(Se), which turned out to accurately describe the pathways through which my "shadow functions" are accessed naturally. I see you paired the blind spot of the ENFJ with the same logic, as Ti(Si), so it would seem we agree on certain observations. Although I feel competent enough in this field to figure out how the pairings of each type's functions are supposed to work by extrapolating on logic, I'd love if there was a website with all pairings explained that could be used for reference in online discussions and so forth. And I'd obviously have personal interest in hearing your take on all of the INTP pairings.
@@CognitivePersonality That would be amazing. By the way, since we're here, what do you think about the intertype relations described in socionics? Don't you sometimes find yourself using them, perhaps without calling it socionics? I don't entirely agree with the author's assessment of each kind of relation, and while any type can make friends or enemies with any other type because people are varied in real life, it seems to me that the relations in the theory are generally pretty good at describing the natural interactions between the functions of two different types. I think it's incredible that human relations can be reduced to a chart that holds an impressive amount of validity despite how detached it is.
@@Forty2dewhat would socionics say about the relationship between ENFJ & ESFP? Obviously don't feel obliged to answer, I'd just be curious to know your thoughts on the topic.
I think I'm INFJ, but having done Harry's study every weekday, I became aware of my Introversion-Extraversion swinging around wildly. So watching this with an open mind.
What is it that's drawing towards INFJ more than ENFJ? Id be also mindful that I'm a divergent ENFJ so my TiNi is by far more convergent & higher in magnitude than my NiTi- but of course NiTi- is the 'bedrock' of my cognition. I never would've ascertained my type as a divergent ENFJ without CPT indeed I thought I was an ENTP or INTJ.
I don’t know that many would be able to watch the whole video that it may not apply to (I know there are some as well as some it applies to not following through) Every point and caveat seemed accurate.
@@AnyaAnnika67 if you look at this video you will see they are often very practical in their thinking. She is very intuitive but it has to be tied to real world things. She tested INFJ like four times ….she once ENFJ but me being an INFJ I know she isn’t my type
@@lindamcgillin2263 Yes she sounds like an ENFJ because as one myself, I would totally criticize your "cuckoo out there" abstract thinking. We know you could handle it because our types get each other for the most part and you know deep down we truly respect other intuitives!
Hi Harry! I really appreciate your content. There is a more practical and human approach with CPT that encourages understanding the complexities of personality that often gets paved over for simplicity sake by other systems. There’s more to a person than just a set of traits. We contain multitudes after all. I am confused about something though. I keep tossing two types in my head that make sense to me about myself based on this video, and your prior one. The directional, conformist, and “correct” nature of the ENFJ resonated with me. But so did the self realizing and aesthetic ISFP(pre individualized; also conformist/pleaser, which I struggle with). Very different types in principal, yet I am stuck on them. How do you determine the fluidity of Fe-Fi dips from their natural dominant function? Perhaps the answer is simple and my mind is muddying for the answer with its usual impatience. I tend get cloudy in my thinking. Often synthesizing a similarity easily explained through more precise and patient logic(which is often difficult for me, I hate waiting for the conclusion of my logic, but somehow am also driven towards linear certainty, perhaps because it offers a clear answer!): I’m finding it difficult to disassemble this particular component. Both types seem to desire social harmony but with different drives for why(self driven-other driven). My intuition is telling me there’s something more here, and I think your more refined touch of reasoning will be able clarify some things. Perhaps justify my confusion. Cheers! Thank you for the cool content!
I would also like to hear more about the difference between those 2 types! I myself can't understand which one of those 2 I am. It's interesting how 2 seemingly different types can resemble each other. You're not alone in this struggle!
I also would like to hear more about the difference between these type as I heard there is a debate witgin the community weather Jordan Peterson is an isfp or an enfj
I would love to hear examples of situations where these things could come up. I find your lack of use of metaphor or storytelling makes me get lost in jargon and less able to appreciate the points you're making. You guessed it, INFP here.
Can confirm that us ENFJs take social situations very seriously. I've been told I can be conversationally funny around people I know really well, otherwise I seem very reserved. I'm not even shy, I just don't have all that much to say lol.
same man
Totally relate to this.
Preach! I'm perceived as either the stoic or tenacious person in my social group and at work - it's either one or the other! I only say something when it's worth saying.
totally related too
Yees that exactly what I can say about myself!
11:00 “The future is of often is often the means by which the ENFJ regulates anxiety”
As long as I’ve planned the solution and I can see a good outcome, then I’m relaxed. I am most anxious when I feel like I don’t have control (a plan) and therefore have uncertainty about the future
Same. I wonder if this can be said the same for ISPs. 🤔
@@RainbowRoadCrashTest I am Istp typed by Harry and I can tell you that having some sort of a possible outcome in mind or know how in a external situation can definitely help me. The anxiety won’t necessarily disappear in social situations but I can soldier through until the bad situation is overcomed.
@@ferdinandambroise-rousseau2743 Same, I may have suspected I am an ISTP. Though anxiety has always been a struggle for a good portion of my life. But yes, once I've made a plan that may help my future situation. Anxiety just doesn't magically go away. But it is probably more of a breezy kind of anxiety as a result. But if I usually don't do anything about it, built up anxiety comes at my door.
Preach
ENFJ here who is currently experiencing anxiety around my career trajectory owing to a spanner in the works; I can foresee how it will all play out fine in the long run but in the short term I'm experiencing a lot of trepidation & anger over the current context. I can't seem to disentangle the far from near future as they form a cohesive whole in my opinion. I don't need a linear trajectory per se but I do need a generalised kind of direction. The anxiety is real folks! 😮😊
It’s So great seeing someone actually understand the mbti
I love this! Thank you for discussing how our social lives are something to be “maintained,” def true. It’s a struggle between not wanting to be lonely and not wanting to take on all the feelings of others!
I also really appreciate you recognize our logical side and need for structure. And the weird self-preservation that bundles itself into the idea of being “correct” - it’s so strange to be at once so morally motivated and yet ready to fudge the truth a bit to preserve/maintain relationships and self image
I think many can perceive us as having 'no backbone' for that reason until we're pushed to a limit where all of the said logical inconsistencies of someone's beliefs/behaviour come out. I'm in such a dilemma at the moment; sometimes it simply isn't worth for a multitude of reasons expressing what the truth is until we're backed into a corner or circumstances necessitate that we become more brazen with what's going on internally 😊
The idea of having to maintain relationships. I tend to be the person always pushing and helping others. It can be overwhelming. I tend to distance myself from friends.
Well said!!💛
I really enjoy having conversations and discussions with ENFJs, being an INFJ, I do notice we very often agree with each other. They really respect logic and principles.
Also, this video really came at the perfect time since I'm wondering if a friend of mine is one.
( I'll recommend this video to her, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.)
I am an ENFJ and I have one INFJ friend about my age. I find her very relaxing company.
@@gargervon8697 currently me and my ENFJ friend are talking about her type. It's funny because she thinks she's an INFP unfortunately because of MBTI stereotypes.
However, recently, I think she's starting to understand more about the ENFJ type. And usually, people always say we(me and her) are super similar in the way we think and behave.
So It's always refreshing to talk to ENFJs.
I really like the idea of an ENFJ slob, living a double-life as a criminal, a mafia boss respected by everyone.
Do you think David Goggins could be an ENFJ?
He could be. Good question.
gives me ESFP energy
I thought for the longest time that I just never understood my type and flip flopped between quite a few. And when I finally settled back on ENFJ, others made me feel like I was wrong or didn’t know what I had been exploring all of this time. I spent so much time trying to understand personality type to try and critique it, only to find myself utilizing it to critique myself and try to understand deeper underlying problems that I had to address. When I stepped away late last year to lock in on my own journey and allowed myself to process some of my experiences, it made me realize how much I had been moving in circles. I even felt this way while in the CPT discord community. But now, months later of distance and revisiting this type once more and hearing what you had to say, the doubt is gone. There’s little doubt in my mind anymore that I am an ENFJ, especially after you pointed out our obsessions with politics and philosophy (I still have 7 books to catch up with on my philosophy reading list). Thank you for making this video, Harry. I hope other ENFJs are able to see and reach this video. It might help them relinquish the same doubts I had.
Hey Timothy, what you say sounds familiar to me. I've spent 2,5 years researching the types and kept being confused based on what 'typology savants' kept putting forward (MBTI-based savants) on the 3 types that I felt most connected to. It didn't help that out of the 46 tests I took in that period, 41 of them came out as INFJ. I was also very confused because of the supposed 'weakness' of the ENFJ with regards to TE, which I felt was quite decently developed in me and when describing some of the ENTJ characteristics, my friends and family all would go 'yup, that's you!'. That was in relation to me being a natural planner, organizer, take charge kind of person. While they saw those traits, I kept seeing the things I missed in each of the 3 types I kept circling between. I 'wasn't' some rainbow pooping unicorn like how the INFJ is often presented. I 'wasn't' the highly effective commander in chief like the ENTJ is often presented and I 'wasn't' the super charismatic guru like the ENFJ was often presented. It wasn't until I came across one of Harry's video's where in he went against what the mainstream MBTI savants say about the ENFJ that it clicked for me and that's when I knew I wanted him to type me. For the first time someone actually said that an ENFJ actually does 'not' like big, loud party crowds but prefers one on one interactions. Everyone else said the exact opposite, which was one of the things that kept me doubting.
This is one of the reasons I'm very reluctant to type anyone, because I'm worried that if they go on the internet and start reading up on the types or watching the TH-cam video's, I fear they will take what they hear/read at face value which can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. (I'll stop rambling now... promise 😅)
Hi there, I'm a divergent ENFJ. I have a philosophy degree; I'd be really interested to hear what your interests are. Oh, I flipp flopped between ENTP, INTJ, INTP & INFJ for the longest time as my TiNi is the highest in conscious magnitude (this could have to do with me being a neurodivergent as well). May see you on the discord?
@@MysticaAriYenagreat to see you on here as well 😊. Do you know what your subtype is? We're definitely a very misunderstood type; ironically it's seems that ESFJs & ESFPs owing to popular type descriptions tend to mistype as ENFJs.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Hi there :) I don't know what you mean with subtype. I know you always refer to yourself as a divergent ENFJ, but I've never gotten in to the divergent/convergent stuff of CPT. Harry typed me as ENFJ as my main type with INFJ second (not sure if that counts for a subtype, also not sure what a subtype is supposed to be, so not claiming that). It was quite a challenge for me to analyse & figure out all the context, subtleties, connotations, meanings behind certain words/phrases/concepts used in relation to the entirety of the topic(s). So once I got my answer I didn't continue to try to understand the details of the technicalities.
For me, I've come up with my own theory, which is that I'm pretty convinced that everyone has multiple personalities with a minimum of 2. One cognitive type and one behavioral type (this can be an entire type, but it is more likely that the behavioral 'type' only has partial elements of one or multiple of the other types as a means to survive the environment in which one finds oneself). One is static and doesn't change from birth till death and the other is dynamic and is influenced by environmental circumstances and can/does change through a lifetime.
I use the video's as shortcuts to get more in-depth understanding, different perspectives, new angles to look at things and new connections with what I already know in order to expand my own understanding, insight and to widen and deepen my own theories.
Going in to the detail of what each function does, in combination with other functions, is not really my cup of tea :) But it does help when Harry explains it in such a way that I can link it to my own experience and to understand human behavior and choices in general. So once he does it (or others whose video's I watch), that allows me to connect the dots.
Not sure if that makes sense, but it feels natural to me to do it this way.
@@MysticaAriYenaI appreciate the ramble and appreciate your insight and hearing your typing journey! It definitely helps to set my mind at ease on the matter. :)
Everything you said about Fe/Se is totally resonating. Wow. Thank you for being so real and having actually studied the type strong enough to hit this. Yes. I definitely take the social realm far too seriously to just let it be something bubbly and be overly playful.
Always saw my right time for everything as the Ni/Se timing, but either way it definitely resonates. And I appreciate the acknowledgement of how we are prone to keep our intuition private. Especially if those around us don’t appreciate it. I struggled with this a lot in high school and below.
Anyway, thank you for this awesome and nuanced video. -ENFJ
My daughter who is a teacher and high minded and always needs to be occupied and busy and can’t self occupy alone… she gets panicky and bored …and has tested INFJ but I know she is ENFJ. I am INFJ. She is very very practical and logical and can do and always wants to do the right thing
hey! late answer but I'm curious. i type as infj too but i have also quite a lot from enfj (i think?) what is the main difference? why do you think your daughter is rather ENFJ than INFJ? i am trying to figure out my type and stuck between infj and enfj
@@sweetea6550 my daughter gets bored easily and can go from teaching to school to kickball without missing a beat! As an INFJ I need epic amounts of downtime to process everything. And she is more “real world” oriented as extroverts are while I create my own world literally….i am an artist and writer and always have a very unique take on things. Very few people think like me
I read somewhere that ENFJ are the most introverted of the extroverts because they care about social norms and can read everything intuitively so they can hypercare about how they come off appropriately… which makes them appear introverted. When she was younger I thought my daughter was introverted and her INFP brother was extroverted .. as they are older and have grown into their personalities (age 25 and 29) I see her extroversion and many friends while he is an introverted musician!!!
You described me perfectly! I was always confused by the belief that I’m supposed to be a fluffy type, but I’m always the first person (aside from my INTP family member) to correct illogical assumptions or statements. Which can come across as blunt. The past few years have really brought this trait out in me, as misinformation has taken over mainstream society and I can envision the potential of that misinformation to destroy peace and stability within our society… negatively affecting the Fe values.
But I am on the frontlines of societal change, with environmental focus.
This is the first and only true explanation of me on the internet. I could not find anything wrong to point out, every word was spot on. Thank you so much.
FINALLY! 💗I appreciate this so much! Small points to bring in because you brought some of them up. I smiled so much; I'm working as a Unit Manager within HR for the City Administrative Office, I have excelled from being a nurse - took 10 years to get to here without a degree; I have no problem showing that I can, before I take my steps. I went through Operation management, Project lead and Function manager positions. I learn before I do, always - I do get computer system quite easily but wouldn't care to learn how they are programmed. I get people (motivate/inspire/coach) which I find "easy". Responsibility triggers my soul - seemingly so that the more responsibility I have, the happier I get (dangerous combo), and the faster I excel. Safety is the absolute most important part of any action, environment, and decision. I will correct behavior, grammar, and opinions that goes against my very convinced sense of what is right and wrong. I do it rather generalized though. My value system is simple in its complexity, in a way. Wrongly accused, or too sharp criticism turns my world into a reflection. I will go through the totality of my actions, words, and behavior to find truth. I always start with me! There are so many mistyped ENFJs, and the stereotyping is slowly frustrating me. I take things very serious even though I like to laugh often. I rather stand as the right hand, than in the limelight; I'm fierce in my honesty within family and friend groups, and I will lead when others fail to step up. 🫶 Thank you for making this video! 💖
I love learning things I'm interested in and taught right, I excel at it! I am a leader but also can be lead. I do love a good challenge. I do self reflect a LOT and always with myself first. I am very honest and to the point with family and friends. I do love laughing but I also am serious when needed ( which can be a lot more than I am laughing).
I’ve never been called out for my need of organization like your video suggests and you are correct! I enjoy the puzzle of finding the connection, and even through my mind jumps from A to K to Z to F, there is a system to my madness. I see all at once (abstract) and then need to sort into place. I think the reason we may be a little “mysterious” is because we are so curious asking about others. We don’t always share ourselves and maybe get lost in the mix.
Your "Signs you are not an ISFP" video really woke me up from a deep misundestandion of CPT! I had considered myself pretty much every intuitive type but not any sensors. I then realized I might be an ISxP and came to a conclusion that I am an ISTP in fact! I watched this video to make sure I am not an ENFJ and next I'm going to make sure I am not an ESTP through your similar video as this! You really have the most informative videos I've never seen
Looking very handsome🫡
My other half got concerned when he briefly saw Harry on a coaching call lol but when I said it was Harry from CPT (he knows my love of CPT & what I geek out on) he was like 'ok, that's fine then,' 😂😅
As always
@@AnyaAnnika67 hahaha
An ENFJ here who relates to what you said about varying degrees of conscientiousness. I can be very contentious at work and then suddenly being the messiest traveller I know of. I am able to forget the departure time of my flights, to not having packed what I needed at all etc. My family makes fun of me for this because it is so stickingly different from the precision and care I give in other settings! 😅
Agreed 😂and close ones laugh about it and leave it but the people who actually dont know us well misunderstand us
That was so spot on! I was stunned! No other video on the subject described us so well and I watched many of them. I subscribed very quickly lol
I definitely appreciated what you said about how we're not generally the life of the party 'always' as social interactions drain us and how we can be quite the introverted extroverted as when I got to mbti everywhere I looked said that I must be a crazily extroverted person always in the middle of every dance floor to be an enfj and it made me think I'm an infj for the longest time. Also I felt like I had very good Ti but that also resonates with what you're describing here with our relationship with Ti.
You're on a whole other level from the rest of them, this video was crazy!
Would love your take on estjs as I checked and saw you don't have one currently. My bf is an estj and we feel as if they are heavily stereotyped in the community (even more than us enfjs as you mentioned in the video). So looking forward to that in the future, you'll probably have interesting things to say!
Harry sure is on another level! 🤗
My ENFJ sister is married to an ESTJ. It can be pretty rocky. They struggle with talking through core issues and instead sweep things under the rug only to repeat the same fight. The ESTJ verbalizes the same criticisms the ENFJ has in her head which is a double whammy especially with the sensitivity to criticism. What does work is the ESTJ likes to provide the awesome sensory experiences (good food, outings) that my sister loves.
This video is something I really needed. ENFJ is the type my typology journey started from and it was always a central type I kept reconsidering. This video gave me a trustworthy source of information on the type. After watching the video, I can say I'm fairly sure I'm an ENFJ. I still intend to get typed by you, just to be really sure (I'm actually the guy who recently sent you an email about the age question!). All of these signs mostly fit me on a daily basis, which is probably telling! To me it's actually interesting that I considered this type the first after learning about cognitive functions, cause, as you said, not a lot of people think of themselves as an ENFJ.
Also, I'm interested in your thoughts on this. I noticed that I sometimes experience periods of actually feeling resentment towards the broader society. I still usually blame myself too in those moments, but also feel like other people just don't try to help or support me. It usually happens when I don't get enough affirmation to continue being efficient in society. (I'm the guy who organizes plans and events in my friend group) We had a nice discussion with a person from the CPT FaceBook group about this, they suggested it might be due to other people not living up to my expectations of human conduct. So, my question is, in what cases could an Fe dominant experience even resentment or negative emotions towards people?
Also, if it wasn't obvious, big thanks for the video, I'll definitely reflect on it for the next few weeks or so.
Love seeing how your channel is growing. Speaking of growing, the beard is looking great man!
I discovered Jung’s system of cognitive functions almost ten years ago. For a few years I was sure I was an INTP (like many people in that case I was just a bit depressed, sorry to all the real INTPs), then ENTP seemed far more probable, with my soft trolling attitude and my love for Ti. But after seriously getting into Socionics and finding I was an EIE, I finally tried to understand the ENFJ type.
Like you said, it never crossed my mind that I could be one because though I’m extroverted , I’m clearly not the life of the party, I hate having too many friends because I only have so many hours in my day, and since I’m really good at getting people’s emotions if I’m surrounded by negativity or sadness I’m also negative and sad, so far away from the ENFJ stereotype. Big groups are too dangerous for my volatile mood !
Anyway, my Ti has always shown so much in everyday life that I doubted it could be fourth, but as you said real people are too complex to be encompassed by a rigid system of ordered cognitive functions.
Thank you for this video !
Ditto! I was typed by CPT as a divergent ENFJ so TiNi convergent more than divergent. I also thought I was an ENTP for a very long time & had considered INTP & INTJ as well. Turns out re INTJ that that was just my NiFi building up in the background. You sound like you have a fully integrated Ti like myself. What enneagram are you? I'm a 5w6.
You do realize your found a dogshit system that is not taken seriously in psychology right? Maybe you should discover how bad it's validity and reliability are.
Extraordinary! 😁 This presentation has to be one of the best descriptions of the ENFJ personality profile I have seen. I hate most of the descriptions of the ENFJ on the internet: “Fluffy”-I love that one-and Bubbly. I have never been bubbly a day in my life. 😆 I’m way too serious most of the time…although I do hug people left and right. 😂 (My INTJ uncle hates that-he’ll get over it.) Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you for giving us the depth we often feel inside!!! I thought I was INFJ for the longest time. But I have definite Ni parent and Ne critic for sure…and Se child! Thank you again! ❤️
"Just don't do you're own thing," pmsl 🤣 my partner would certainly attest to this as would the young people I work with. It's not that I'm an absolutist or indeed draconian but rather I've considered all the angles in a very systemised & nuanced way; I do pride myself on my ability to foresee how social interactions will play out & therefore what the best course of action will be. I don't think we expect to be showered with praise but some small tokens of gratitude would be appreciated; it's why I'm much more discerning in who I offer advice to at 38 years of age. Overall, this was stella content once again Harry! You're right I do think our abstract side is often overlooked by others; luckily in work I'm in a domain where I can utilise this aspect of myself & im highly thought of...well from all but one person who is threatened by my skills set (long story I'm sure I'll divulge more when we speak next...I'm livid)...I'm glad you mentioned that we're not this huggy kissy type; I've found myself in a situation recently where I was calm but very assertive; as much as I don't like confrontation some conversations need to be had...yup we take very little BS from other people & on this occasion I'm luckily I have a team rallied behind me. As a divergent subtype I do find myself oscillating more between my extroverted side as the situation necessitates thanks to cognitive fluidity; this begets a feeling of holistic being to some extent. On the topic of divergence, I had an interesting discussion with Rob on twitter about this & neurodivergence: Rob postulated that neurodivergent people are either drawn to the extremes of the ego or the divergent pairing as they have more access to the unconscious...I have to say this is making perfect sense to me but I need to explore the implications more...so much for the autistic who is working around blind to reality eh...we all have a degree of 'mind blindness' to some extent which can be both a blessing & curse. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on Robs take; I'll probably bring this to a patreon discussion if that's ok with you Harry. Fundamentally, CPT more so than any psychotherapy (& baring in mind I'm a mental health professional - not to bash CBT, DBT etc they have their place) has given me an understanding of myself on an individuated level that I couldn't have garnered from anywhere else...the coaching sessions are enabling me to reach parts of my psyche that I didn't think even existed, nevermind possible which has translated into positive implementation...and you know I've had a difficult time of it over the past few years & with my Ti oppositional I'm a very difficult customer to please so please take this as a sincere complement from a grumpy old ENFJ cynic! Harry I know you don't like over veneration but sincerely, from an ENFJ who knows where it's at, you should be remarkably proud of your convergent Ni-Ti contributions to the wider community & academia...I know it's hard being a centre piece/rallying point especially as an introverted type...please keep up the amazing work but most importantly take care of yourself & everything else will transpire in time, there's no rush 😊😊😊
I feel so seen after watching this video. It’s nice to have the more nuanced parts of the type recognized. We’re not always gregarious and overbearing in approach.
ENFJ - The absolute rarest type in the media. I don't know what is the reason behind it.
They are not the rarest i.r.l., but good luck to find an ENFJ male, it is a rare gift to have one in your close circles.
I think we're generally very misunderstood and caste in the light of the ESFJ hence the lack of representation in media to some extent. I do agree with empirical statistics that we do only comprise i small proportion of the population; irl I only know of myself & my twin sister and 2 others who are content creators. I think many, many ENFJs especially divergent subtypes like myself (TiNi convergents) mistype as so called thinking types albeit I don't agree with the dichotomies; we all think & feel it's just contingent upon the perceiving function it's attached to 😊. Thank you for saying it's a rare gift; what is it you generally admire about the type? 😊
Excellent, thoughtful analysis. Due to the speed at which you speak and the accent that I'm not used to hearing on a regular basis, I'm going to go back and pause and process it all more deeply. But everything I picked up on was so true. I also appreciate the caveat of "it depends" when using typology and how people are more dynamic than a 4x4 matrix. 😊
Thank you. I have had a lot of trouble typing myself but this explanation resonated more than anything. And yes, neat and orderly at work but can be a bit messy in my home. But all I need is someone to say they’re coming over and I will tidy up at a speed that seems impossible.
I am an ENFJ software engineer! It feels natural sometimes, and hard at others, depending on how complete I feel my understanding of what I am working on is at a given time (need that bedrock to be confident in my solutions, hehe).
I'm an INFJ who is a Junior Front End Developer.
I think the human and planning part of creating Websites and UI/UX design is always an interesting part.
But too specific and mathematical stuff is not as fascinating, although necessary.
@mimcris8481 Nice! I am full stack, and I did web programming for most of my career. My last job and my current one are desktop app development, but in both cases, the UI has generally been my favorite part, too. With underlying data structures and such, I can enjoy it if it isn't too messy, but I definitely am a proponent of "simpler is better" there. I hate over-engineered code. I can get impatient with trying to keep up with all the new design patterns people keep coming up with. Let me get used to a system, will ya? 😆
@@gargervon8697 😂😆
ENFJ vs ESTP next! Great to understand how FeSe dominance is different from SeFe dominance, etc.
I'd love this as an ENFJ with an ESTP son. There's lots of complimentary features but also a lot of points where we diverge.
ESTPs drain me. I love their high energy and fun loving spirit, but they can also be very intense and judgmental. And they can rarely sit still. At least that’s been my experience with them.
My serious and caring and hardworking daughter who is a devoted and energetic teacher in an inner city elementary school !!
It's nice to hear of other ENFJs who are doing so well 😊. I have to admit I'm a bit of a burnt out ENFJ at the moment but I'm sure I'll get my mojo back once I get some Ni inspiration.
I have been looking forward to this video, I think my brother is an ENFJ, the convergent FeSe is definitely there. He can be a big cuddly teddy bear sometimes, but watch out for the claws.😄
OMG!!! I feel seen. Finally, an ENFJ video that actually resonates with my internal experience!
TiSi is something I use intuitively. I turn memorization into a game to help me. If I actually tell myself it’s a duty or chore… I just won’t do it. Spot on! 😂 loved the video - ENFJ
This is interesting I'll have to give this a go! I always hated how languages were taught at my school for that reason; it was just memorising copious amounts of grammar & verbs etc
Yes! I was telling my friend I didn't understand how the "intellectual" types fell for Scientology with their motto alone, it DOESN'T make sense. I read, re read the motto over and over, its definitely incoherent. It's gibberish. Reading that alone is enough to make me question and not join until someone can explain and make it make sense. Most ppl can't answer, so no.
I am an ENFJ married to an INFJ and i swear we have the best relationship 🖤
My wife is likely an ESFJ and loved seeing ExFJ content. Thanks Harry!!
I love these kinda videos!
So interesting! Thanks! I believe I'm an ENFJ who's decided to strife for not being one...the joy! ;-) It's a life-long learning journey aimed at freedom...of thinking, of being
I'd agree freedom of thought is a big aim of mine especially as a divergent subtype. I've become somewhat dubious of academic theories in the field I work in & would much prefer to formulate on my own merits.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Haha, academic here too! 🙋♀And buttressing my comment were exactly your thoughts. It's not the easiest path though. I'm quite skilled in jumping through settled (academic/disciplinary/moral/'correct', etc.) hoops...yet I don't really believe in this way of working and thinking
Ayy! I discovered this channel recently and was looking for this video yesterday morning. Thanks for the enfj content! Definitely related to this
This explains why my ENFJ very young child would meltdown if I corrected the way a job was being done, why they would throw elaborate costume parties and then disappear from the social scene for weeks. Why despite having tons of friends in High School, she prefers to keep her social circle smaller as an adult. It also explains why she's super encouraging and yet the first to point out your bullshit at the same time, and finally why when a trusted leader or foundational principle to her life is toppled why it sends her into a tailspin. She is relying on external measurements of correctness and propriety much more than me as an INTJ.
If you don't mind me asking (I'm an ENFJ ignore the username lol) how old is she now? I have to say I'm 39 and as we age I think generally speaking our allegiance to authority wanes a lot in fact I don't abide by any deep standards of correctness (save bad manners which I abhor) or place authority in trusted people (academics & so forth). Bare in mind I am a divergent TiNi subtype but still I think with reality we can become more disillusioned with age albeit that's a necessary part of the journey to being the change & leaders we want to see ourselves. I think in time we learn to blame ourselves & give ourselves a break every now & again. Ha I'm much more of a recluse in my old age - no one gets in! 😂
I've been waiting for this forever.
My thought 100%
5:19 I feel exposed by this one specifically.
You are a genius!
Its interesting hearing this, and it confirms that im absolutely an ENFJ.
“Fe dominants can even be more blunt with their friends and loved ones than Te dominants”
Bingo.
Woah, i am on the verge of crying, you have no idea how much better this made feel , ( even though to be honest English isn't my first language and your accent isn't helping 😅 so i had hell of a time trying to understand this and i probably still missed a lot )like I obviously didn't believe I was an enfj at first reading the overly stereotyped simplified description, that was before I discovered the core of mbti , cognitive functions and then I was blown away by how much of an fe-Ni-se-ti I am , so I settled for the idea that I was probably the unhealthy version of me since I didn't fit the bubbly make every one happy version but again I didn't feel that unhealthy, I mean take my somewhat good social life , the first " would be victim " of unhealthiness if I ever expressed one ,so ?I went with maybe I am borderline unhealthy and not living up to the potential of my personality, but THIS ,thank you seriously lifted much self blame of my shoulders( why is that the first instinctive emotion i feel in this situation, beats me ,try living as an enfj ,we are born with a preordered amount of guilt and self blame just for the fact of being born), and I know someone " fi users say hi " is probably gonna be like " why would you take a personality test this seriously, can't you just know yourself and how you are feeling by your self " well ,welcome to my life where I get every info about me after it's reflected back to me through others ( basically the consequences my feelings and actions got on others ) so yep personality tests ,specifically the highly trustworthy ones ( yep mbti is one of them by my standards) are a very important tool for my self discovery, one that I take more seriously then it probably deserves, anyhow I lost what I was trying to say ,yeah just thanking you for providing a very realistic and " true to mbti " description of enfjs , I feel immensely understood 🤓😆👋
I echo we are incredibly hard on ourselves but it always seems warranted...you get my drift? Yes, even by the simple fact of being born lol! If I can offer some impromptu advice: lean into that TiNi pairing more & develop your own world view/formulations as a 38 year old veteran it does take the edge off of that self blame albeit comes with a fair degree of anxiety. I found that a lot of so called experts didn't adequately answer my questions in multiple domains so I started to take the challenge upon myself in my early 20s & I've never looked back. I can be perceived as an overly confrontational or contrarian individual because of it but it's definitely protected my vulnerable FiSi to a degree & ensures I'm living by my own values...easy said than done when your FeSe isn't wanting to harmonise with other people, I know 😊
@@AnyaAnnika67 woah thank you so much for the attention and advice " senpai " in life ( Japanese word for senior) , I am a 22 years old complete slave of FeSe always running after the next shinny thing that needs attention and care ( stray cats recently) to the point where the declining of my mental health stopped me and my infj best friend wipped me into shape , and to be honest going to my inner world ( NiTi)and rationalizing " why am I not acting to help this or that creature " or " that I don't need to always be doing some major life saving act to simply exist " by normal realistic standards like " I am only one person with limited physical capacity , resources and time " or " to be selfish to a certain degree is to be human and there is no escaping that " , all this process still feels like running away and excuses, even though I know It's right it feels wrong, so yeah I am still a baby at this , hopefully there will be a day when I am satisfied with simply existing or better when I see the true value of my tiny helpful contributions to other lifes , when I truly think that putting a smile on someone's face or changing a person's hurtful perspective is as influential and important as saving a life , and I sincerely hope you would think that too , now that got awfully personal 😅 got too excited thinking someone actually understands 🤓 btw have you checked the website to this channel, there are blogs written about an intj's experience with different personality types there , one of them is destined to enfj and it's gorgeously written, quite dramatic by my standards but nonetheless true and heartwarming, you should check it out if you haven't, your self esteem will appreciate it , thanks again let's do our best at this thing called living with sane minds and open hearts ✊
Thank you very much. As you said, I don't conform to the stereotype, but you were describing me pretty accurately.
The scaffolding learning technique is so true😂❤
I don't even have to put efforts into realising similarities between two concepts or events...it helps me better remember the concepts and better understand the events by giving more insights...but yes it maybe an individual difference rather than an ENFJ characteristic
3:00 It took me some time to not get upset over other team member's under-activity/ inactivity cause though I may not be the team leader, how everyone performs does bother me😂
For instance, we 5 (in a therapeutic fun art activity) were said to paint a picture of animals we were enacting, and though I may not have said it, the girl drawing panda was really bad at it and literally for no reason I got concerned about her drawing anything more😭❤
@@phishhhhyup this sounds like me in work. I'm actually better being in charge so I can oversea who is doing what I think this is the ESTJ in us. Nothing can align perfectly if one of the pieces are broken.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Yes so true💯
Broken pieces may make a beautiful vase but I doubt it's durability😭
Also we naturally end up leading the group if there aren't any active leadership personalities present...but we do provide our contribution and are glad to be in assistance of others, completing whatever part the leader assigns♥️
Cheers bro, very succinct intelligent awarness of nuance.
Human beings are incredibly complex I agree.
Hello, this is my first video of watching your channel, and as an ENFJ, I just wanted to say thank you, I was like someone who actually gets me, lol.
funny how he does that, isn't it? That was my reaction too when I first heard him say something to the effect of 'if you love being in a big crowd, you are most likely not an ENFJ. Unless you can look at that crowd as one entity'... Suddenly, everything fell in to place for me. This was in 2020 (damn, it's been more than three years already).
It's funny how even though I'm an introvert with Fi/Te, I relate to parts of this!
this is my classical mbti type based on the facets. If you are a guy, in a introverted culture, with some kind of diagnosis or socia l disorder you will have a very hard time typing yourself as this type.
Now whether it is my type as far as CPT goes i will have to properly grasp the difference between classical enfj and cpt enfj
Honestly, I'd just throw all the classical MBTI stuff out of the window & read Harry's ebook. I'd never have ascertained my type as a divergent ENFJ without being typed by CPT; I thought I was an ENTP or INTJ. CPT really gets into the nuance of type & really locks in on cognition as opposed to behaviourally imbued stereotypes 😊
@@AnyaAnnika67 I find the 20 facets super accurate though after months of self-examination
The big five works great for just assessing ones current state. CPT is a useful tool for examining cognition but i wouldn't say it fully encompasses all the angles of personality, not even close.
Dream analysis worked wonders. What else, right CT or cogntiive type was pretty great as well.
But well, if you interpreted classical mbti as the cognitive function stacking and survey test-taking i totally agree that it is a mess.
I can’t say enough good about this. But, I say a lot of good about CPT! Thank you, Harry.
Thanks Johnny, hope it resonated!
@@CognitivePersonality , every word!
Eagerly waiting for 5 signs you're (not) an ISTP :D if that is not my type, then I have no idea anymore because I relate to multiple types
This sounds like it could be my type. I thought I was either ENFP or INFP, but this sounds more like me.
I finally can relate to most of the elements on one of your types videos. I came from ENFP to ESFJ to ENFJ. As a FeSe pairing I’m very intense with my social interactions I take very detail account to how people react and how they act. I sometimes tend to clash with them too. Sometimes I can be grumpy if somebody acts out of character in a social setting. Im very quick to judge people too.As a NiTi pairing I have always looked for an internal cohesion of how people and sometimes I myself present to the outer world. This confusion led me to use my Fe function and Ti function for this matter. Im not very orderly or strict with routines under stress, I can procrastinate and become sloppy. Perhaps I’m an ENFJ.
The ENFJ sloppiness is real! I'm a slob at home no thanks to my ADHD but more orderly at work. I really can't help it as my executive function & hence task switching is weak but it's something I'm working on as my ESFP fiancé has a high ESTJ network & you know how they feel about organisation across the board! My procrastination has cost me a lot in terms of career performance etc. Worth noting I'm a divergent ENFJ (TiNi subtype) so I tend to be stuck in my head often which doesn't help. I think we're great at theoretically understanding what we need to do but execution can suffer. If we joined forces say with an ENTJ we'd be a force to be reckoned with. If you're deciding whether you're an ENFJ id really look at the degree to which you are calculated forming multiple contingencies as Harry expressed - behind that amenable exterior the mind is always working out the next steps & we can be extraordinarily perceptive of others.
This was great!!! I’ve actually been waiting for this video, and wow-so informative and deeply insightful. It helped solidify my understanding ENFJs, as well as open my eyes to new understanding, particularly how the Ti-Si dynamic plays into aspects of the ENFJ that have always perplexed me. Thank you!!!
I think most ENFJs on the internet are actually ESFJs. Is there an ESFJ video on the way?
I agree here there's also a fair few ESFPs as well.
Yes indeed!
Love this one.. as an ENTP getting too close to ENFJs wrecks my world view. Much better appreciated and loved from afar and appreciated for the best things. Outshining or wrecking their very serious landscape is off the books. I could never make mbti work right and thanks to this video you finally and kindly well produced at that, the convergent/divergent difference in the whole thing. Knowing how Si really works and Lens pairing create such a opposite head bashing intenset jesting match. Used to mistype ESFJ alot too. I feel they suit ISFJ/P or INFP. The ENTP Si makes total sence now. I seen this thing in 3d. Buying book nw bro!G
I was gonna say you can come n wreck my landscape but that, well, just sounds dodgy 😂. I think of the likes of Gillian Anderson...there is an utter goof ball underneath, we're just very private individuals & I think the sensitivity of Fi-Si (same for the ENTP) kind of makes us guise that vulnerability in a hard shell....if you knew the secret lives of the ENFJ it'd be a different story...I lived as an Ne nomad for most of my 20s. My son is actually an ENTP & we're both by far more 'chill' than his ESFP father who's closer to the ENTJ end of the spectrum. Ironically, & touché chat I find that behind the chaos monkey veneer ENTPs are just as vulnerable as us with their Fi-Si. Of course you do get some ENFJs that need to take a chill pill but I think that's more contingent upon personality aspects superfluous to cognition. How many of us have you met btw (as in the actual cognitive ones?)...I'm a divergent subtype so Ti-Ni convergent & quite different to my twin who's a default ENFJ. I'm all for being outshined; I'm quite the social introvert & generally keep myself to myself - I can be pretty stubborn but that's as far as it goes. I think when we picture your classic default ENFJ you're looking at the likes of Danearys from GOT & Tyrion in terms of ENTP (I prefer Tyrion much more btw) when there's shades of grey in between but I understand I'm not gonna be everyone's cuppa (ironically ESFPs never seem to warm to me, which is fine). ESFP now needs to take a chill pill, I swear these guys Te is underrated in MBTI 😮😂
❤ So, agree with this. I thought I was just a weird ENFJ until this video.
Thank you very much for this video! It made me understand my ENFJ sister so much better and also why she and her INTP boyfriend sometimes struggle so much but also are good at fields where the other is not haha
Love your work, you brought so much light to this theory keep up the good work!:D
This is interesting; as an ENFJ I actually find I have quite a natural kinship with most INTPs (albeit an overgeneralisation) but in saying that I do have a high SiTi convergent pairing. In saying that I think I can get along with anyone aslong as they're polite & courteous (my pet peave is rude people!) 😊
I grew up with an INTP brother, and we were pals by the time we were preteens. Fought a lot when we were little, though. 😅
He: "Enfjs tende to blame them selfs when things gos wrong"
The fist thing a thought: " whom alse would be the guilty???"
ENTP fella here! So universe eh when my star of ENFJ ex is back in town today.. You make a 5 signs finally for this Archetype! Im Proud to say Noope, I'll watch later or hopefully never - Psychoanalyzing Evil and Self Loathing can wait I have to go now.....
ENFJ here who simply loves ENTPs (my son is one too) like the glittering cheeky monkey rockstars you are! 😊
@@AnyaAnnika67 Thanks u made me smile! Although I think it's unfair or untrue to type children or anyone probably before the age of 24..but I trust the enfj/mothers intuition and gotta admit u made me blush n smile hahah ffs
This is honestly so relatable behaviorally. Especially when you mention scaffolding learning techniques to learn a new idea. But I honestly see that as a preference for ni-ti because it relies on conceptual principles holistically to relate and add on to the idea like a scaffold. But yeah makes sense that we'd struggle more with specific details to learn mechanisms and sequences through a logical framework. But considering this is all behavioral traits of types, just wondering can you see any relations to speech patterns towards typing Aswell?
Speech patterns is a fascinating topic, one that I might make a video on!
I don't know what your take is on vultology as an adjunctive to typing Harry but I've been watching a guy from CT who actually types people scarily accurately based off bodily cues, eye movements etc...I think he got one person mistyped as an INFJ (yeah that's obligatory lol) but otherwise he was spot on. I wouldn't use it primarily but as an adjunctive, yes. What he did offer was more accurate presentations of INTJs, INFJs, ENFJs etc which I was happy to see. If many people watched they'd realise that they definitely weren't the latter two especially.
Before I even knew I was an ENFJ, I was always extroverted, loved and still love social events, always make new friends etc.
I am an ENFJ that aligns with the typical description. Most people overlook ENFJ as a possibility is probably because only 2% of the population are ENFJs; it is the rarest personality type.
My favorite type if i ever have one 😄
Love to learn more about the mind of the ENFJ. 💗
This is very kind, thank you 😊. What cognitive type are you?
@@AnyaAnnika67 You're welcome 😊
I'm INFP.
Harry just to add: would you say that in as much as the ENFJ can lift people up they're also adept at bringing people down a peg or 2? Sorry to add a negative spin but when I'm not in a particularly healthy state of mind, or from my younger self I've noticed that I really do know how to press peoples buttons going right for the throat; not that I'm proud of that but it is useful to have in situations where someone might be less than moral should we say. Thank you for saying that there is a calculating interior 😂😊 tis true; not that we're a bad bunch but I often find we're by far more 'in the know how' than our amenable exterior might suggest.
They absolutely can!
I'd say more than 2 pegs if need be lol. I'm actually quite known for that personally. It is the part that makes people think I'm an ENTJ.
Also...I hate doing it, I hate being forced to do it, but I will still do it because the need to serve the greater good can not and must not be ignored.
Although, in getting older, I've become more picky as to the moments I'm doing it. Now I only do it when I deem it worthy. If I don't do it, it's not necessarily because I agree, but mostly because I think it's wasted energy. You become more selective when you grow older.
i tend to avoid negative things and conflict. so i dont accumulate compromising information about people(unless that is obviously bad and i need to, to protect myself in a lecturing form lol), sometimes i think i should have... but i just prefer not to. such things dont come naturally to me when i want them to pop up in my mind, they do when i want it the least lol
So excited this one finally dropped! I always have no idea what type I am, with 90% of my tests giving me ENFJ, but based on some of your other videos I question if I am an INFJ, ENTP, or even ISFP.
I have phases where I’ll convince myself I am an ENFJ, then others where I’ll convince myself I’m an INFJ, or the other types I mentioned above, as well as ESFJ, ENFP, ENTJ, etc lol.
Love these videos, very informative!
I just found out I'm a ENFJ-Turbulent the other day. I always had friends picking me out in school as leader. And I was the oldest of 2 other siblings. The test results explained me perfectly even down to my random anger snaps which are rare for me. I have high patience. But not with certain things. Especially when my friends are being unfairly attacked. I love my friends.
3:02 that Te part hit home 😂
Honestly the ENFJ is the type that is the most similar to the INTJ stereotype. All of the CPT ENFJ’s I know are among of the most logical people I have ever met. There isn’t a type that seems to value logic anywhere near as much as the ENFJ. Not even Ti doms come close to their logical robustness.
Completely off topic but this hairstyle suits you so much and makes you look younger and cooler than when it was short. Just in case you were wondering lol.
You must be aware of Socionics Model G. Because it also states ENFJs use NiTi jointly in their creative Self Realization block.
The Creative Self realization block being made up of the mbti 6th and 4th functions.
I think this is very much going to be contingent upon subtype in CPT. I'm a divergent ENFJ (TiNi) so not all of the above applies to myself; whilst I do struggle with SiTi divergence my SiTi convergence is very high in conscious magnitude. I also struggle with my FiSi convergent pairing whereas using TiNi convergently is my realm so to speak.
Hi~ please do type comparison between ENTP, ENFJ and ENTJ 🙈🙏 I really enjoy your style of content, and can't figure out the difference between the two. Thank you~
There is a ENFJ vs ENFJ comparison video 😊. ENFJs tend to be a lot more serious than our convergent feeler counter parts (ENTPs) as our Fe is less playful. ENTPs are a type a generally seek to click with however & they teach me to loosen up a bit.
For the record, I am here solely because I have been having a doozy of a time with tests, etc. So, finally, I looked up the one real person in history that I have been likened to most often, by several sources and all of them trained to spot people that are THIS exact kind of person, to find out what his type was thought to be and this is it. So, now I learn what this type is all about.
Great video as always.
It has been a while since your last fictional characters video. Do you have any plan on this?
I definitely do! I actually have quite a few planned
@@CognitivePersonality Awesome!
I thought my enfj was an INFJ . He seems so introverted ,he does socialize for networking but loves alone time .
0:26 It's funny how I watch your INFJ then ENFJ video trying to figure out which one is Monica from DokiDokiLC, and here the auto-subtitles are trolling me by mispelling "ironic" as "Monica"... xD
The hilarious part about this is I would love to share this with my ENFJ sister but I fear it's too technical for her. She's very smart but impatient with new sciences that she isnt super personally invested in so mbti memes or high level bullet points work best. I love all the atomic details but it seems the feeling doms prefer their component states.
Ha I've tried sharing this with my ENFJ twin (shes the default variant I'm the divergent subtype) but to no avail as of yet. It just goes to show the variation amongst our type: her Ti-Ni is very stubborn at what she'll give a chance to infiltrate her Ni worldview as she's heavily invested in psychotherapy etc & doesn't see the relevance of CPT despite me trying to persist with telling her that CPT is very much focused on individual variation! If you've managed to find a way in please feel free to let me know. I also know of a content creator who thinks she's an INTJ (I initially thought I was this type) who's an ENFJ who I've tried to direct towards this video. We can be a highly stubborn type when it comes to our TiNi albeit as a divergent subtype I'm much more liable I think to give something a try for the sake of exploration; not everything has to be antagonistic to our TiNi & that's the point I hope ENFJs will eventually realise - it doesn't negate our other modes of thinking/universal theorems of everything. I get it's scary to have our oppositional Ti challenged & identity in the process but it's well worth it. I was initially really bemused (and alarmed) about being typed by Harry as a divergent ENFJ but it's given me a whole new perspective on what I need to work on & a greater understanding of types that I might not necessarily gravitate towards; my fiancé is an ESFP & we've had a lot of difficulties in understanding each others perspectives - I view him as too limbically charged where he thinks I'm too cerebral/not invested in talking about emotions...I'll never be an overtly emotive person but it's definitely something I can work on, I just tend to keep such things very private. I thinks it's ironic that for such a seemingly personable type we're probably the most private out of all the types (open to debate on this one lol).
Loved this type explanation! Thank you 😊
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Fe is Jordan Peterson and how every word he utters has an attached emotional weight to it. I believe the best word to describe an Fe dom would be "responsible". The predisposition towards responsibility for its own sake even. (In the extreme case like my old friend.) Basically, making order out of social landscape.
If Ne is ADHD, then Fe is BPD.
Jordan Peterson is most probably an ISFP with a strong INFJ under cognition. I rmbr Harry said that in one video. Not really an Fe dom though. Maybe that's why everything he says has emotional weight attached to it, because it's coming from a strong Fi - Fe relational empathy standpoint. It's very Fi-imbued logic.
@@phoenixxsoulwhich video?
Can you explain what you mean by the BPD and ADHD part? I work in the mental health field and even as someone who works in the field, Im not really understanding what you mean by that. I also have a sibling with BPD and I can say they are probably the least socially appropriate person I've ever known. They don't take social situations seriously at all, and in fact can react with rage so intense that it completely disrupts social situations
@@Werksonek I think someone asked that question and he answered back. Maybe one of the INFJ videos. I'll try to find later.
@@phoenixxsoulmpletely agree hence why I think they've used the BPD analogy re ISFP & Jordan Peterson; not that he has BPD but rather he's very much attached Ti hence Fi, so not an ENFJ. Mandy Patinkin & Gillian Anderson are good examples of ENFJs. We're actually, neurosis aside, a very regulated type as Harry mentioned. If I had to make an analogy to a mental disorder & Fe OCD (but not ocd just a given) would be very apt albeit without the concomitant anxiety.
I tried to watch and listen to this and just ended up scrolling through comments to feel what others were thinking about this video lol I’ve only tested ENFJs and I take the test annually.
Very cool and interesting:) i regularly mistype as enfj in those forced company mbti quizzes, and this was so insightful. I definitely have an enfj friend (who mistypes as infp, as so many do)
Would like to see a video where you're actually an INTJ :)
He's most definitely an Ni-Ti convergent; cough, cough probably only 1 in handful of 'real' cognitive INFJs Im aware of.
Another great video! Thank you
I was confused for years not quite fitting into INFJ or ENFP... Now it makes sense!! I think I'm an ENFJ!
Same! I thought I was enfp but my enfp friend doesn't act like me and is quite detached / doesn't put effort in relationships and I was much organized than her. I though I was infj cause I was reserved in group convos I just checked now I am an enfj after taking the mbti
I relate exactly to what you have said! plus, I can easily make friends, but I don't have big social circles, I actually like to keep mine small and tight, and keep to myself, but mostly because people let you down and aren't as dependable and good as a friend as I am to them! if I thought I was INFJ, but actually compared to my INFJ boyfriend, I can see how I get energised from others and do ultimately need to be around people.@@Someonemkln
18:04 I'm glad for that. Thanks
The way you pair the functions throughout the video is interesting to me. Have you thought about creating a section on your website where you explain how you pair functions and allow people to read about each pair?
As an INTP I've had numerous occasions where my Ti+Ne kind of saw patterns which I extrapolated on without knowing what they mean, only to later analyze them and find that they contained a lot of insight. For an example I reinvented the wheel by creating the entire intertype relations chart from socionics before I discovered socionics. As for pairings, I once saw a pattern and listed the functions in a unique way, in the case of INTPs as Ti(Ni)-Ne(Te)-Si(Fi)-Fe(Se), which turned out to accurately describe the pathways through which my "shadow functions" are accessed naturally. I see you paired the blind spot of the ENFJ with the same logic, as Ti(Si), so it would seem we agree on certain observations. Although I feel competent enough in this field to figure out how the pairings of each type's functions are supposed to work by extrapolating on logic, I'd love if there was a website with all pairings explained that could be used for reference in online discussions and so forth. And I'd obviously have personal interest in hearing your take on all of the INTP pairings.
I definitely want to put this into a wiki. Currently it's in the ebook but having an online repository would be useful for everyone
@@CognitivePersonality That would be amazing. By the way, since we're here, what do you think about the intertype relations described in socionics? Don't you sometimes find yourself using them, perhaps without calling it socionics? I don't entirely agree with the author's assessment of each kind of relation, and while any type can make friends or enemies with any other type because people are varied in real life, it seems to me that the relations in the theory are generally pretty good at describing the natural interactions between the functions of two different types. I think it's incredible that human relations can be reduced to a chart that holds an impressive amount of validity despite how detached it is.
@@Forty2dewhat would socionics say about the relationship between ENFJ & ESFP? Obviously don't feel obliged to answer, I'd just be curious to know your thoughts on the topic.
I thought I was an ENFP, trying ENFJ now I’m extremely confused.
Any idea what type Beavis and Butt-head got?
That's a genuinely good question
Will be space in the future for one enfj subtypes video? Thanks.
I second this! Divergent TiNi subtype here, typed by Harry 😊
Thank you for sharing it ❤
Wow Socionics Model G also says that the opposing/ignoring function is also highly sensitive and draining to use.
I think I'm INFJ, but having done Harry's study every weekday, I became aware of my Introversion-Extraversion swinging around wildly. So watching this with an open mind.
What is it that's drawing towards INFJ more than ENFJ? Id be also mindful that I'm a divergent ENFJ so my TiNi is by far more convergent & higher in magnitude than my NiTi- but of course NiTi- is the 'bedrock' of my cognition. I never would've ascertained my type as a divergent ENFJ without CPT indeed I thought I was an ENTP or INTJ.
I don’t know that many would be able to watch the whole video that it may not apply to (I know there are some as well as some it applies to not following through)
Every point and caveat seemed accurate.
This way very helpful, Thank you.
My ENFJ Daughter is critical of my “way out” intuitive abstract INFJ thinking!!!
Are you sure she's an ENFJ as they're also intuitive abstract thinkers?
@@AnyaAnnika67 if you look at this video you will see they are often very practical in their thinking. She is very intuitive but it has to be tied to real world things. She tested INFJ like four times ….she once ENFJ but me being an INFJ I know she isn’t my type
@@lindamcgillin2263 Yes she sounds like an ENFJ because as one myself, I would totally criticize your "cuckoo out there" abstract thinking. We know you could handle it because our types get each other for the most part and you know deep down we truly respect other intuitives!
@@-EricaCartman one hundred percent accurate 💯💯💯💯💯
Hi Harry! I really appreciate your content. There is a more practical and human approach with CPT that encourages understanding the complexities of personality that often gets paved over for simplicity sake by other systems. There’s more to a person than just a set of traits. We contain multitudes after all.
I am confused about something though. I keep tossing two types in my head that make sense to me about myself based on this video, and your prior one.
The directional, conformist, and “correct” nature of the ENFJ resonated with me. But so did the self realizing and aesthetic ISFP(pre individualized; also conformist/pleaser, which I struggle with). Very different types in principal, yet I am stuck on them. How do you determine the fluidity of Fe-Fi dips from their natural dominant function?
Perhaps the answer is simple and my mind is muddying for the answer with its usual impatience. I tend get cloudy in my thinking. Often synthesizing a similarity easily explained through more precise and patient logic(which is often difficult for me, I hate waiting for the conclusion of my logic, but somehow am also driven towards linear certainty, perhaps because it offers a clear answer!): I’m finding it difficult to disassemble this particular component. Both types seem to desire social harmony but with different drives for why(self driven-other driven). My intuition is telling me there’s something more here, and I think your more refined touch of reasoning will be able clarify some things. Perhaps justify my confusion. Cheers! Thank you for the cool content!
I would also like to hear more about the difference between those 2 types! I myself can't understand which one of those 2 I am. It's interesting how 2 seemingly different types can resemble each other. You're not alone in this struggle!
I also would like to hear more about the difference between these type as I heard there is a debate witgin the community weather Jordan Peterson is an isfp or an enfj
Interesting video!
I would love to hear examples of situations where these things could come up. I find your lack of use of metaphor or storytelling makes me get lost in jargon and less able to appreciate the points you're making. You guessed it, INFP here.