(read fully to understand that I am not accepting or glorifying Joji) I'll explain my observations (everything is based on the book, children of the self absorbed by Nina Brown.) The movie has two layers, a philosophical one and a psychological one. Trauma doesn't necessarily need a single event. Constant exposure to helplessness can traumatise you. Joji's father, kuttappan is a narcissist and he abuses all his sons physically, verbally, emotionally and psychologically. They all are victims of early narcissistic wounding. This may sound counter intuitive since we have very less scenes with kuttappan. But, just like in real life, we can identify a narcissist from the responses of the people around him who may be his victims if he is a Narc. So, I'll try to analyze certain elements . 1)joji enters room, starts class, and goes to sleep. Here we see that Joji is a chronic procrastinator. Why? Joji was the golden child and his father's high expectations and demand of perfection led Joji to internalize the heavy weight of perfection and Joji better leaves every task he faces. This makes him hard for achieving anything in life. His traumatised brain also believes that he has an intrinsic flaw and can never be successful like others. 2) his father calls him Ottu 'paalinundaayave' which he doesn't like and later projects it onto thotta sudhi. Which is the defense mechanism called projection. This adds to the philosophical layer-joji became his father. 3) jomon: rubberum kadayum koppum nirthi nee nerathe ing varanam. Jaison: joji, kettallo? Joji: poppiiee.... I think this shows the defence mechanism called displacement. In which someone expresses their anger /aggression to a seemingly weak person since he cannot show it those who triggered their anger. Adds to the philosophy too. 4)joji: power undo poppy enne thadayan? Also joji sleeping in the daytime. I think this shows joji's regression, A defence mechanism where someone's brain goes back to an early stage of development rather than facing the actual problem. In severe conditions regression can be seen as bed wetting. 5) Jaison's over responsibility. Children seek attention and approval. When they don't get it they develop a core belief that they are unlovable. This feeling continues into adulthood. That makes Jaison a people-pleaser. He believes that other's well-being is his responsibility. When kuttappan cannot pull out the valve, he blames the worker( onn pokki pidikkeda m***). He might have done this to his children. The adult children of a narcissist have two different responses. Compliance and rebellion. The compliant response has the child trying harder and harder to please the parent, reaction that extends into adulthood. The rebellious response occurs when the child does not try to please the parent because they realize that it's impossible. Jaison is compliant and Joji is rebellious. Jomon's intimidating behavior triggers anger in joji. 6) 'rogamalle? Chikilsikkande? Veruthe alla thante pennumpilla thanne ittitt poyath' Joji yells this at jomon. Joji is mad at those who don't treat their mental illness. Maybe that's his anger towards his father because he identified his father is a narcissist(he googles everything. Maybe that's how) What's funny is that Joji himself doesn't see a therapist. So eventually Joji became just like his father. Joji is a well matured adult so we cannot say that the society is the reason. In the ending Joji is in the same situation where his father was. This symbolizes the politics-joji became his father. Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. Real heroes are Mahesh in maheshinte prathikaram and Saji in Kumbalangi nights who didn't let them trap in societal pressure or influence. Everyone must read Nina Brown's book- children of the self absorbed. Peace ✌
One more thing, why did Joji kill jomon? I think there are many reasons. 1)the obvious one-to hide his crime 2)helpless triggered anger in Joji. 'Chettayi, Njan chatth povum chettayi' --- 'appa, njan chatth povum appa'. 3) he once did a murder and didn't get caught. This gives him the courage. Like when he first changes his dad's tablets. He was slow and careful. The second time he seemed cool and easy. (from then Bincy helps with the sound of the washing machine). 4) his wildest desire/hope that the least number of people, the more assets to share.... 5) Joji is a nihilist. He has weak or no conscience. (Ithaan ente reality). ''if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you''
Appan is more of an overt narcissist and joji is a covert narcissist. Blaming everything on society is covert narcissism and thinking all about extension of himself is overt narcissism. Appan only has empathy towards people who devote him completely. Eg the joli kaaran and baburaj characters. Think about how she treats unnimaaya character.
Hello mam lam confused and eager to know one thing that Oru vekthi valiya karyathil nammod samsarikkan varunnu. Thirich ayalod samsarikkumbol namme avoid cheyyunnu. Next situation, namukk orumich enna karyam cheyyam annu parayunnu. Nan ath cheyyumbol other person escape from that situation. Nan ottakku cheyyenda avastha. Ethupolthe charecter an aa vekthiyil ninnum kanunnath.
@@DrSusanKoruthu on one side we have shammi, the narcissist, with an inflated sense of self importance and no empathy. And we have bobby on the other side who self sabotages, has a low sense of self worth. Whereas Saji is hyper empathetic and hypersensitive. Kumbalangi nights has this theme of extremities everywhere. Another example is the contrast of power distribution in both the families. In one, shammi is in control. In the other they got no respect to each other. Eventually they learn to respect. Bobby finally puts his ego aside and calls the new women in the house, 'chechi'. The mother is extremely religious. She finds it as an escape. Whereas nylah prays before having food showing gratitude. One family is confined under shammi and the other is careless. The difference is that the brothers are ready to change unlike the narcissist. They learn from others. 'aarenth paranjalum correct point aaanenki athedkkanam'. We have things to learn even from the narcissist. They have uploaded it in TH-cam!!
(read fully to understand that I am not accepting or glorifying Joji)
I'll explain my observations (everything is based on the book, children of the self absorbed by Nina Brown.)
The movie has two layers, a philosophical one and a psychological one.
Trauma doesn't necessarily need a single event. Constant exposure to helplessness can traumatise you. Joji's father, kuttappan is a narcissist and he abuses all his sons physically, verbally, emotionally and psychologically. They all are victims of early narcissistic wounding. This may sound counter intuitive since we have very less scenes with kuttappan. But, just like in real life, we can identify a narcissist from the responses of the people around him who may be his victims if he is a Narc. So, I'll try to analyze certain elements . 1)joji enters room, starts class, and goes to sleep. Here we see that Joji is a chronic procrastinator. Why? Joji was the golden child and his father's high expectations and demand of perfection led Joji to internalize the heavy weight of perfection and Joji better leaves every task he faces. This makes him hard for achieving anything in life. His traumatised brain also believes that he has an intrinsic flaw and can never be successful like others.
2) his father calls him Ottu 'paalinundaayave' which he doesn't like and later projects it onto thotta sudhi. Which is the defense mechanism called projection. This adds to the philosophical layer-joji became his father.
3) jomon: rubberum kadayum koppum nirthi nee nerathe ing varanam.
Jaison: joji, kettallo?
Joji: poppiiee....
I think this shows the defence mechanism called displacement. In which someone expresses their anger /aggression to a seemingly weak person since he cannot show it those who triggered their anger.
Adds to the philosophy too.
4)joji: power undo poppy enne thadayan?
Also joji sleeping in the daytime.
I think this shows joji's regression, A defence mechanism where someone's brain goes back to an early stage of development rather than facing the actual problem. In severe conditions regression can be seen as bed wetting.
5) Jaison's over responsibility. Children seek attention and approval. When they don't get it they develop a core belief that they are unlovable. This feeling continues into adulthood. That makes Jaison a people-pleaser. He believes that other's well-being is his responsibility. When kuttappan cannot pull out the valve, he blames the worker( onn pokki pidikkeda m***). He might have done this to his children.
The adult children of a narcissist have two different responses. Compliance and rebellion. The compliant response has the child trying harder and harder to please the parent, reaction that extends into adulthood. The rebellious response occurs when the child does not try to please the parent because they realize that it's impossible. Jaison is compliant and Joji is rebellious. Jomon's intimidating behavior triggers anger in joji.
6) 'rogamalle? Chikilsikkande? Veruthe alla thante pennumpilla thanne ittitt poyath' Joji yells this at jomon. Joji is mad at those who don't treat their mental illness. Maybe that's his anger towards his father because he identified his father is a narcissist(he googles everything. Maybe that's how) What's funny is that Joji himself doesn't see a therapist.
So eventually Joji became just like his father. Joji is a well matured adult so we cannot say that the society is the reason. In the ending Joji is in the same situation where his father was. This symbolizes the politics-joji became his father.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Real heroes are Mahesh in maheshinte prathikaram and Saji in Kumbalangi nights who didn't let them trap in societal pressure or influence.
Everyone must read Nina Brown's book- children of the self absorbed.
Peace ✌
One more thing, why did Joji kill jomon? I think there are many reasons.
1)the obvious one-to hide his crime
2)helpless triggered anger in Joji. 'Chettayi, Njan chatth povum chettayi' --- 'appa, njan chatth povum appa'.
3) he once did a murder and didn't get caught. This gives him the courage. Like when he first changes his dad's tablets. He was slow and careful. The second time he seemed cool and easy. (from then Bincy helps with the sound of the washing machine).
4) his wildest desire/hope that the least number of people, the more assets to share....
5) Joji is a nihilist. He has weak or no conscience. (Ithaan ente reality).
''if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you''
Very deep observation. I think we need a zoom session where we can all interact. 😀
@@arjunmf would be nice
Ma'am 1 request... Egane relation independent aavam... And how to set boundaries ina relation oru video cheyamo
I will.
Hi Ma'am ,Iam your regular follower and also a psychology student IGNOU.At my age of 60+ Iam doing this toughest task to learn more about NPD.
To understand NPD experiential learning is the key.
Hi Dr. Is Fahad fasil character in kumblaghi nights a narc. Or psycho?
Definitely a high-end narc with other combinations such as psychopath
Very true
Madam - DIRTY JOHN (netflix) series onnu kaanamoo? Pakka npd ( real life story)
Dirty Jhone enne vallathe affect cheythirunnu ..kure divasam..!!😅 oh too much cruel fake gentle man🤨
Hi maam, very good presentation. Can you make a video about Avoidant personality disorder and OCPD
Appan is more of an overt narcissist and joji is a covert narcissist. Blaming everything on society is covert narcissism and thinking all about extension of himself is overt narcissism. Appan only has empathy towards people who devote him completely. Eg the joli kaaran and baburaj characters. Think about how she treats unnimaaya character.
Hello mam lam confused and eager to know one thing that
Oru vekthi valiya karyathil nammod samsarikkan varunnu. Thirich ayalod samsarikkumbol namme avoid cheyyunnu.
Next situation, namukk orumich enna karyam cheyyam annu parayunnu. Nan ath cheyyumbol other person escape from that situation. Nan ottakku cheyyenda avastha.
Ethupolthe charecter an aa vekthiyil ninnum kanunnath.
An ego issues is evident here with a grandiose nature.
Joji wears a mask in front of everyone just like a narcissist
Maam.....jojiyude father ottum empathy illatha aal aanennu thonnunnille....athu narcissistic traits alle.....
A trait cannot be consider as a disorder. Narcissistic trait is required to build a person to his/her highest potential.
Very good madam, had a view that Joji was a victim, after watching your video i see that i missed so many details that you pointed out.
Hai
Hi Sindhu
Healthy adult narcissism is showed in Kumbalangi nights.
Hi Razil, which character you were referring to.
@@DrSusanKoruthu on one side we have shammi, the narcissist, with an inflated sense of self importance and no empathy. And we have bobby on the other side who self sabotages, has a low sense of self worth. Whereas Saji is hyper empathetic and hypersensitive. Kumbalangi nights has this theme of extremities everywhere. Another example is the contrast of power distribution in both the families. In one, shammi is in control. In the other they got no respect to each other. Eventually they learn to respect. Bobby finally puts his ego aside and calls the new women in the house, 'chechi'. The mother is extremely religious. She finds it as an escape. Whereas nylah prays before having food showing gratitude. One family is confined under shammi and the other is careless. The difference is that the brothers are ready to change unlike the narcissist. They learn from others. 'aarenth paranjalum correct point aaanenki athedkkanam'. We have things to learn even from the narcissist.
They have uploaded it in TH-cam!!
😍😍😍
NAMASKARAM Dr. MAAM 👣🙏
31.1.2022 4.15 eve
LYK FROM KOLLAM KERALA INDIA
👍
He searched for the weakest part of the skull and shot on the strongest part of the skull lol 😂
മാഡം.. ഒരു നർസിസിസ്റ്റിനെ എങ്ങനെ കബളിപ്പിക്കാൻ സാധിക്കും
Difficult for a victim with empathy