Facing the Folly of My Frugality - A Decluttering Story
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2024
- Unfortunately, I've learned that a lot of my clutter problems are directly related to my obsession with frugality. Here's a story of something I kept for WAY too long.
NOTE: I tried to add a card to say that sound you're hearing is the intense wind we have out in the country. I can't figure out how to do that, so I'm telling you here.
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I realize more and more (at age 72) that I have had a very rich and fulfilling FANTASY life! All the books and craft supplies and accessories that I have carried around-thinking if I didn’t use it, my daughter would. But she doesn’t even share my interest in crafts. One of her friends does, though-a bonus daughter. We will go through it and whatever she doesn’t want wil get donated. It will be a relief.
It will feel amazing, and bring so much joy to many 💜💖💜💖
I don’t know what your craft supplies are but art teachers at your local schools always need supplies. Elementary, middle school and high school art departments have different needs do check with all three. School budgets are very tight and art budgets never go up. Each year, art teachers are able to buy less and less.
@@j.j.9123 I made that mistake before. I even donated a die cutter complete with dies and paper. The dies were things that children and teachers could use easily. Like little people and their clothing, flowers, letters. They were appreciative but didn’t have a clue how to use a machine that could cut their work in half. I even offered to help. My granddaughter has yet to bring any projects that used any of the dies or papers. A shame to waste it by turning it into clutter. Yes. I did ask first.
@@reginahay5211😭
I listened today with such complete understanding. In going through clothes slowly, I looked at two pair of black jeans I've held onto because I need black jeans, they're rather expensive, but just hadn't fit...yet. I decided to try them on, only to realize they were extremely belled, and, heaven forbid, hiphuggers!!!! I'm 77, seen my last days with such a style longer ago than I can count. They're gone, replaced by a style I am comfortable in, plus, they fit!!!! Now, please stop laughing!
Love your comment and I'm not laughing but i am smiling with you. 😊
😂
I’ve been there too. And I’m laughing, thinking IDIOTS! But we’re not. We’re just human. 😊
I'm laughing with you sister 🤣🤣🤣 Hello fabulous today you 😉
Not laughing at you, dear!
This is so true about "keeping" regret. What I've found is that a lot of times, when I've looked at one of those items I've held onto, it's deteriorated while in storage, until it's not usable and had to be trashed. If I had just donated it originally, someone would have gotten some enjoyment, but now it's trash.
I was thinking about this very thing, yes. Or its so absurdly outdated, or as Dana discovered, had a functional flaw that has since been remedied. lol Live and learn. Acknowledge and move on. lol Shake our heads and let it go. xD
I have kept my blue jazz shoes for 40 years thinking if I wanted to do dancing again I wouldn't have to buy them. I guess they so lrt of represent a kind of hope but not reality. I went to a dance class recently. Now I can wear them! I forgot them and discovered I am now useless at dancing and really don't want to do it. Have I gotten rid of the shoes? Um ....
Yup, like clothes in the attic get destroyed by heat, especially elastic! Just give it away while someone can use it.
I recently sold my dance shoes as I'm now too sick to dance, and BOY, was it difficult! But some of them had already deteriorated and couldn't be sold, and, in the end, I was glad the ones I did sell would have one last hurrah on stage.
I got rid of my jazz shoes. I feel so much lighter. The what if situation is sort of a burden. Thank you Dana!
A couple of weeks ago, we had a cold snap that overwhelmed the homeless in our city. We got a flyer on our door asking for donations of warm clothes. In minutes my husband and I pulled together a huge bag of clothes that hadn't been quite right for us for, literally, years. It is amazing how a tweaked mindset can make all the difference.
Yes! That’s such a good feeling! I had a similar experience with a winter clothing drive at my kids’ school, just at the time that I was wondering what to do with all the freebie company parkas and 3-in-1 coats that my husband & I had but never wore. It’s one thing to donate to a thrift store, and another thing entirely when people are REQUESTING the things that are excess to you. It opened my eyes to a new feeling of abundance!
Am I the only one that never heard the term character shoes in their entire life? I had no idea what they were. They just look like shoes to me so I had to Google it and now I learned the history of character shoes, very interesting they still just look like shoes to me.
I'd never heard of character shoes, either, just knew them as dance shoes. AND I need to go try on mine, to see if they a) still fit b) are actually in good condition to keep.
Dana, this video touched my heart in a very unexpected way.
My mom just turned 90, and over the last 15 years she has had to give up so many things that were a huge part of her identity because she can't physically or mentally do them anymore. Her bedroom is literally FULL of clothes that she can no longer wear, so many that I can barely walk in the room, and I was going to press her about sorting through and getting rid of these things. But now, knowing how much she enjoyed shopping for and wearing these items, how much of her identity was tied up in them, I won't press the issue. She has given up enough. It may be hard on me to go through all of this stuff when she passes, but I don't have to make it harder for her while she's still here.
❤
I have just decided that with my parents. Both almost 90. We will deal with it later. I am to focus on me😊
That's so thoughtful. ❤️
I know exactly what you are going through. My 93 year old Mum lives with me and I have compromised by using containers for the clothes I know she doesn't wear. They are stacked in her room, so if she wants anything (highly unlikely) it is still in her room. Her ample hanging space is still packed with clothes, but it's easier to clean now. The things we do for love😊
@@katerina9583And think of the things they did for us!
This reminds me of a recent grocery shopping trip. I was in the condiment isle. I started filling my cart with condiments simply b/c "I'll need them." I stopped myself, remembering my cupboards are small and my budget is tight. I returned the items to the shelves, resolving to buy on an as-needed basis. How did my mindset shift? Because of Dana White's videos! And her container concept. I am grateful for her. And for TH-cam. What blessings!
Had a similar experience recently, it was a genuine 1st for me, I put two home decor items into my basket, I had gone to the shop for a specific reason (which didn't include home decor!) as I went to the checkout, I looked at them again and decided to leave them back. I was very impressed with myself 😂
Yes, I’m doing the same thing now it’s just me. My ex always demanded 2 spares in the pantry and I’d get in trouble if something ran out. He was even more annoyed if I couldn’t get the right amount of something and we lived in one of the remotest areas in Australia. It’s definitely a mind shift to only buy what’s needed for a few days but well worth it.
I had obtained embroidery notions very cheaply and kept them anticipating the day when my fantasy-self would learn how to embroider. The issue is that I have essential tremors. It is genetic, and I have had it my whole life. And it has gotten worse over the last few years. I had to give myself permission to give them to a cousin who loved them.
“Facing the Folly of My Frugality” actually makes a great name for a musical 😂
Yes! I can see it: a waltz with women dancing around holding fancy dresses they never wear, a fast-paced song with people tapping from box to box, a lonely solo of someone sorting papers, a group decluttering and tossing items to each and then into the trash (of course, there is someone taking it out and throwing it back where it started).
omg i thought i was the only person who struggled with this!! My frugality has resulted in me buying sometimes 5 versions of the same functional item, because 3 or 4 times I'll buy compromises that are ALMOST what I need. This video makes me feel SO much better and so much less alone in this struggle.
Thrifting regrets here too. Buying the thing that's almost right, then regret not paying more and getting the perfect thing that really works.
🙋♀
I kept so many items that were "project pieces", which ended up being a hoard of things unused for the intended purpose for myself and anyone else until I decided to release them to their destiny 🤠
Please please post a video of you and your husband dancing!❤
I was just thinking about a very similar situation while listening to your last live. In college I had this beautiful gold top for a violin recital. It was a bit fancy for regular situations, so I'd been hanging on to it for a future recital or other fancy occasion. Not only did I keep it, but I kept it in a box because the material was the kind that would not do well on a hanger. I kept it through 3 moves and was excited to finally have a fancy dinner to wear it to last year. Now I'm under no delusion that I'm the same size I was in college, but I was not prepared for how impossibly tight it was, especially under the armpits (ouch 😂). If only I had tried it on much sooner, I would not have had to deal with managing space for it for so long. 🤪
Keeping regret versus decluttering regret! This is definitely going in my toolbox to help people understand! What a godsend
I had a pair of Frye western boots. Soft gray, size 5 1/2. I loved them. Had my first child and my foot flattened out to a size 6. I hung onto the boots, because I loved them. Second child and my foot was now a size 6 1/2. Finally said goodbye to the boots. Never found another pair like them. Had totally forgotten about them until this video 😂
My hiking boots. New a year before Son#1. I stopped hiking for years anyway, with the small kids. When I let them go they did not fit me, looked new and fresh, but covered in cobwebs. Sigh.
I loaded up a trunk full of fantasy-self clothes and coats in my car just this morning. I hope they make someone shopping at Goodwill very happy. Tonight, I’m going to be on the hunt for “maybe someday” shoes and other items. THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL VIDEO!!!!!!
“I experience ‘keeping’ regret so much more often than I experience ‘de-cluttering’ regret” ❤
6:45
I was in dance pretty much my whole childhood, and I will never forget the excitement and "specialness" of driving to the city, to get new ballet slippers, pointe shoes, taps, etc... It was a magical store just for dance and costume. You might even run into a local celebrity ballerina there! The point of my ramble down memory lane is, I 100% identify with your choice to buy those shoes and hold onto them. It's definitely an identity thing that's hard to part with.
I love Reid's little comments at the end of your videos! Thank you for being you. Have a great time at the dance!
I agree! If I've walked out of the room while listening I will rewind the video to see the closing remarks. The cherry on top of very helpful and enjoyable videos!
Where I really learned this was in the kitchen. I’d see how expensive the well reviewed gadget was and decide I couldn’t afford it. Fast forward and I’d end up replacing the bargain tool with the one I should have bought in the first place. With instant read thermometers, I went through three before I final got the fancy one and now I use it almost everyday and it’s saved me so much in terms of not wasted food.
Overspend and underbuy really is the way to go.
“Low 5” on the thermometers!! Exactly my learning curve!
Recently, my husband and I donated some furniture to a charity that helps people in our area. These were solid pieces I had thrifted over the years when we had little money to spend on furniture. It was hard for me to give them up because they were a great deal and had sweet memories associated with them. But my family no longer needed them and they were just taking up space in our house. So my husband and son loaded them up in his truck. The lady at the donation center was so happy to recieve our things. I'm happy knowing these things will bless someone else instead of just collecting dust in my house.
I regularly listen to your podcast, Dana. Your advice has helped me make these types of decisions so I can make a cozier home for my family by holding onto what brings value while letting go of junk stuff and junk thinking! ❤
Unfortunately, I've put a lot of fantasy items in storage units for 'someday'. Didn't have room to store them in my house. Working with my therapist the past couple of years (I have ADHD) I've been clearing out a lot of stuff. Books and craft supplies were hardest! Still have the storage unit but I know what's in it. Once the house is done (not perfect, just not ashamed to open the door), then I'll start tackling the storage unit. With what I've paid for storage units over the years, I could have bought it all 5 times over.
Good for you! You made such a progress, and got help!
Some things can be "close enough" like dishrags or potting soil. Shoes have to be perfect, particularly if you are dancing in them. A fashion - obsessed friend of mine once told me not to buy shoes unless they feel like a second pair of socks.
Nowadays when I am deciding whether to keep things I immediately look up the availability online. It's a nice tool we have 😊
I have loved all your books and enjoy your videos . Im probably one of those people who are naturally neat but still over the years have learned so many helpful tips and insights . My sister became very ill and had to give up her home that she had raised her family in for 30 years to move into a small apartment closer to family . I was the only one close enough and having the time to help her declutter , having read your books , listened to your podcasts helped me understand how her mind worked so i did not become frustrated with this monumental task . Happily we accomplished this and sister is happily settled in her cozy apartment with all her children in the same town . Your insights were crucial to our success ! Thank you !!
That gap at the back of the shoe.... GENIUS!!!
My new hiking boots have that gap and it is as amazing as you think!
That was really helpful. It's such an uphill climb for me to admit that some of my belongings just don't fit my life anymore, and it's time to let them go. They are like old friends. It's OK if the experience of letting go takes a while if it teaches us how to approach the rest of our clutter.
It took me 15 years to part with my ice skates. Even when I knew there was no way physically that I could ever go back on the ice, I still hung on to them because it was too hard to admit those days were over. Now I'm still sad that I'll never be able to skate again, but I've also reached a point of being happy that I did it for so long and that I have the memories and that I've been able to pass on my skates to someone else to love and enjoy. Sometimes, it just needs a bit of time to go through that mini grieving process of admitting that our life has changed and we can't go back.
I had a really hard time with my ice skates as well. My experience was similar to Dana's, in that I had very expensive skates and blades, from when I was a teenager. I think I used them once after high school, then quickly got married and haf babies, resulting in larger feet. I tried everything to get my feet in those skates - even bringing them to the figure skate store to have them heat-streched. I could cram my feet in, but they were so uncomfortable, and I am not the 15 year old who can easily spin and jump on the ice anymore. So now my oldest daughter wears my skates, and I borrow my husband's hocky skates (awful things - edges are all wrong), and skate around the perimeter of the rink, amd play with my kids.
I love how you're making more videos like these Dana. Please keep making more.
I love that: Keeping it regret. Definitely happens more frequently than decluttering regret.
Your feet grow during the last two weeks or so of a full term pregnancy, because all the ligaments loosen up to prepare for giving birth. And yes, the feet will stay a size or so larger. It would be really handy if these things were mentioned in the various books etc. Because I ended up consulting for painful feet, when really I just had too small shoes.
Yes! No one tells you, at least not here in the UK
@@user-tc8jp5zt8g here in France neither. Also, everyone says "you'll need to re-educate your pelvic floor", but everyone beats about the bush as to WHY.
This didn’t happen to me until my fourth child. So weird! But yes, they are a size bigger all these years later.
Great story !!
It really IS easy to get stuff these days 😅
“keeping regret” thats good
I am glad to know our children wont have these problems. They did not grow up with the overwhelming everything is scarce. Everything is a click away for them and I really think that has made them want less for themselves. They can wait until the "last minute" to decide to have that thing. I grew up with hoarding is survival. The hoarding has been passed down for 3 generations that I know of. I am trying very hard not to curse my children with it.
I literally just went to my closet to try on the new black dance shoes I wore once years ago, and have decided to not keep them because they don't fit comfortably anymore...I needed this video!😂
I have been pretty brutal with my decluttering over the last couple of weeks, and I have definitely gone through what you are talking about. One thing I am finally letting go of is stuff from when I went through breast cancer treatment in 2018-2019. I had a box on the top closet shelf with my wigs, hats, styrofoam heads, and radiation robe. I am not usually superstitious but I was about this stuff. I felt like if I got rid of it before the magical 5 year mark, the cancer might come back. Totally irrational, but it was there, and it was powerful. The box sat there and most of the time I didn’t even notice it. I passed the 5 year mark, and now I am ready. I contacted the store where I bought the wigs (which I didn’t even wear because they moved around too much and felt weird) and they will clean them and pass them to a women’s ministry for women experiencing medical hair loss. I feel really good about this now but just couldn’t do it before. Some things just have to wait for their time. If I hadn’t had room, I would have gotten rid of them sooner, but I would have felt a lot of anxiety about it even after doing it. You can keep anything, you just can’t keep everything!
I retired in August at age 57. I am brutally emptying my closet of work clothes and dress clothes etc. I will keep a few items so I have something if I need it before I can go shopping, but it is so freeing to see my closet emptying out. I kept sooo many things for “when I retire” and now I am starting the process of getting rid of the items that were unrealistic to keep. I am giving myself a year from retirement for certain things to see if I use them. If not, they go and I gain more space in my house and life for the things I really use or want to do. I am lucky that I have enough financial freedom that if I make a mistake I can buy something again. The relief of not having to psychologically deal with the burden all of that stuff is AMAZING! You and Cas have been my cheerleaders while going through this whether you know it or not, so HUGE thanks!
I kept my maternity clothes for a few years longer than needed as a ‘hex’ against unwanted pregnancy! Even though I was forty when I had my second child, I had no problem getting pregnant and didn’t want to risk it. 😊
Congratulations on 5 years and also on your retirement ❤🎉
So true. For years I kept clothes that fit me because some day I would need them. Well decades have past literally and I still fit into them but should I be seen in public in them. The 1980's big shoulder pads may look retro on a 20 year old but on a 60 year old they are just dated. I could finally give that stuff to charity due to Dana and not regret it. Thanks Dana
I got ruthless. I went through my shoes super fast. I sold 40 pairs for $40 on marketplace. Yeah some were pricey but my peace of mind and the SPACE it freed up is priceless
I think a lot of us still believe what we were told by parents and grandparents, that things are valuable, precious, hard to find, unique… but there isn’t much out there now that is. Online shopping changed everything.
Ooh this is SO me. And then i have a massive amount of unusable stuff 😢
Woah! Back up that pony cart! 'Keepers' regret.'.... hmmmm - That really rang a bell for me! I get that totally. And it is so simple and logical! Yay - rah, rah DANA!!! Thank you for that massive eye-opener!
I just returned from donating the wedding dress from my daughter’s November wedding. And, my mother-of-the-bride dress. Daughter supported the donation, & I’ll never wear my dress again. Still, it was harder than I thought, even knowing these items will be blessings to others & benefit a charity I support. Keep up the good work, Dana!
This is what I needed to hear this morning. I'm about to go and declutter/organize a closet. I almost talked myself into going thrifting so I wouldn't have to do it. That doesn't solve the problem of this closet and may only make it worse. Have a good day.
I kept a hoop skirt for fullness under dresses because I might need it one day and it was hard to find for 18 years. ( last year during an all day declutter, I took it out put it on and said ouch this thing is miserable and decluttered it) I took up good real estate in my closet with that never worn one time item. Your video today made me smile again after remembering that day. It was actually a struggle to let go but if I need one ( I won’t) I know they are readily available at a days notice. Congrats on the DWTS local fundraiser, they are awesome.
I kept my college tap shoes for 33 years, because I knew that someday I would tap again. Our local ballet company started offering tap lessons in 2018 and I signed up. I dug the shoes out, dusted them and went to my first class. Promptly the heel of the left shoe broke off. So I had to buy another pair anyway, and discovered, just like you, that tap technology has improved and I could get shoes without heels!
Such a great point... not only do things get damaged sometimes while being stored - it's true that we might be likely to need/want something different anyway when the time comes.
So true!! And I just have to say how much I enjoy Reid's credits. They make me laugh every time. 😂
Yes I always wait to read the credits 😂
Local Dancing with the Stars- you’re living the dream!
I sooooo relate to this video and your story. I've been bitten by that bug, too. Sounds like me and my expensive figure skates, and my "someday when I lose 40 pounds" clothes. Wish I had that money back now. Thanks, Dana!!!
I always wanted to be a tap dancer, my fantasy self even bought tap shoes and had the taps put on……. Never got to use them, eventually gave them away still in the box. On my decluttering journey, I have identified many fantasy ideas and hobbies, not to mention clothes, and parted with so many. I’m built short and round…. I do not look good in maxi dresses, yet I own them. Why?! You have just explained “why” , I needed to hear that. Thanks, more stuff for the donate bin!
Yes, young mother wannabes, your feet do grow with each pregnancy!
Keeping regret, such a good reframe
Thanks! Maybe not a "huge how-to" but a big "Oh, gee...." This one resonates, Dana. And I know one item I can put in the donation box right now...excuse me while I do that. (Oh, and I'm starting to think differently about something else -- a big something else -- as a result of this. So, thanks for this big "Oh, gee"!)
Character shoes! Same thing for me, I had kept all my character shoes from my years of doing community theater, decades later, when I finally went back to doing shows again, of course, none of them fit. Felt really guilty not having donated them sooner!
I love the concept of “keeping regret” vs. decluttering regret! SO TRUE
I now ask "Would I buy this if it cost £100?". It has helped massively to say no to cheap or free things. No compromising.
I've compromised on so many things because they were a bargain. And then, the thing that is not quite right, hangs around in my spaces, getting in the way for years before getting donated anyway!
Or worse, for ages I determinedly wear slightly uncomfortable clothes that don't quite suit me anyway, or use gadgets that don't quite make the work easier, etc etc, then experience bliss (& regret) when I finally give in and get something suitable 🙄
Buy better. Buy less ❤
and, it prevents me from finding a replacement that would actually be the right thing.
THIS IS SO ME!!! It’s better to just splurge on what you ACTUALLY want.
“Keeping regret”-that’s a great idea. Love that shift in thinking.
Yes!!! Alot of decluttering is facing reality (which allows us to live a better one).
My ideal crafty self is having a real hard time getting rid of crafting supplies
I bought some fabric for a $1 a yard , it was ‘defective’ but really nice quality fashion fabric.The defects were very minor and weren’t the problem ,the problem is I don’t sew ,I don’t want to learn to sew. Why did I buy this fabric? I do have a theory .My mom was a great self taught seamstress ,she made clothes for her and me and made my dad’s work shirts. She could look at a store bought garment and make her own pattern from brown paper bags . She died when I was 10 years old .I wished I had learned to sew from her but I don’t really want learn to sew myself. I can hem ,sew a button ,simple alterations or make simple curtains but real sewing doesn’t interest me. Time to let go of the fabric.
This is truly a cautionary tale. I’m now looking around my house with more jaded eyes. And I’m looking at you, discount corduroy jacket that I’ve had for over 10 years and only worn once.
As a habitual stasher for future “what-ifs” and as someone that got a Musical Theater Degree-this spoke to me on a few levels. 😊
Different thinking and a mindset switch is what it is all about!! Dana, this was extremely helpful! TY
🤣 Reid’s comment. I think it’s awesome to be on a local dancing with the stars event!!
That was the first thing I decided to declutter. Regrets. No decluttering regrets. I've lost the thing, what's done is done. No keeping regrets. I've keeped that silly trash for too long, but finally I got rid of it.
I just sold a $150 antique dresser that I worked on for an entire Summer for $25. Honestly I needed the room more than I needed the money, I mean, I need the money too, but what a relief to have it gone. My late MIL's cedar chest next, that will be sad, but I have no room and our daughter doesn't want it. Oh well. I'll take a picture of it so we have the memory. There is a season to everything.
I remember reading your blog many years ago about the fishing waders you got at a garage sale and when hubby finally used them - big hole.
I bought bowling shoes when I was on a league for one season. After that bowled about 1x a year and after many years the shoes fell apart, a lot like my hiking shoes. Used a lot when I bought them, but many years in the closet, worthless… Now I have bunions so some of my 5 year old everyday shoes don’t even fit 😮
I love your son's sense of humour. Reading the credits at the end of your videos is always a bonus for me. 😂
Hahaha… I held on to character shoes for way too long too. Like well past them not fitting because they’re “hard to find”. Great personal story!
Wow! I never ever thought of "Keeping Regret" (like keeping something because it was such a great deal) being worse than "Decluttering Regret"!
Whoa, this was really helpful to me!! This will help me go through my house again and peel back another layer. Thanks for the boost and push.
I call it "vain imaginations" when I hold to things for "what if" or "someday" or compromise for the "cheap." And my life now is trying to find the foundation of reality underneath those "vain imaginations." I know it could be worse, but the older I get the less energy I have and the more regret I have for vainly imagining this that or the other about stuff. Thanks for your story, and good luck in the dance off!
This is a good example of my situation but in a different way. I kept a series of books (about 30) that my mom passed down to me because they were written by someone who was good friends with a close relative (aunt) well i read the books then i displayed them on a bookshelf for a while then i stored them in boxes and carried them from place to place as i moved. Well fast forward to a few years back i decided to donate them so others could benefit in reading them, but i did keep a few older ones of the collection because i love old antique books anyway, it was a great burden off my chest but i have felt guilty for doing this like i have somehow betrayed my mom for giving them away. I don't know which is worse the burden of keeping them or the burden of guilt. But my mom has since passed away so I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
I think you're right to give them away ! They were sentimental to her, not so much to you 😊
That was very helpful! You are in a class of TH-camrs who tell the truth and don't try to make things look perfect. Thank you for that. ☺
"Keeping regret" 💡
I’m taking Cas’s course and this a great story. Things have changed and improved greatly since the Pandemic. Do we really need all that old stuff when things have changed so much?
Very true. I remember packing a pair old beloved sandals to put in a suitcase for a vacation. For some reason, I adjusted a strap - and the piece that attached to the back part of the sole came off completely. I was so glad I realized that the sandal had deteriorated to where they were falling apart so I didn't take them. But I've really gotten better about not hanging onto so much "stuff" just in case. I will say on the flip side, that the great part of organizing is finding things I forgot about or thought I lost that really are useful.
This HELPED so much… after years and years of settling I now am doing this… Thank thanks to you and so many others
I hadn't thought of keeping regret!
Keeping regret. That is an awesome concept and right on.
Ugh! I also have a story about frugality - and it was Navy blue! When my son was getting married, we had to travel to where they were and there was so much to pay for, and my frugal sensitivities were on overdrive. I stopped into a thrift shop and found this Navy blue "matronly dress" that was "a pretty good" mother of the bride dress. I wish I had just set a budget and really gone shopping for "the right dress", because now I have photos of myself in that "pretty good dress" that will hang in my hallway forever.
I relate! Buying the almost perfect thing because it's cheap.
❤ same with 75% of closet....finally grew out of classic clothes I wore 30-40 years.
I definitely relate to this! While I have found 'keeping regret ' to be a very real experience, I'm also learning to focus on the positive side - the relief and even freedom that comes when I can declutter those kept things. The more I do so, it also helps me in avoiding adding more 'kept for someday' things, because I can remind myself of these scenarios. It gets easier to walk away from new acquisitions when I can remind myself I'll very likely be able to get that 'thing' when I truly need it. 😊
I still have black and white, even though the last pair I used were slipper like jazz shoes. That back notch is great, and this video has given me specific permission to give them away, along with other "one day, maybe" stuff.
Really good point. I too more often experience "keeping" regret than decluttering regret, now that I have a little experience.
I find letting go of some things difficult. I still have my youngest daughter's baby car seat and she's 23 and it hadn't been used since my grandchild is now 11. But I recently needed to scrap my late mothers car I had been driving for 5 years. No time to think about it. I now feel ready to let that seat go.
Thank you Dana, I greatly appreciate this story, because I have experience the same thing.
Although, do not need to do massive decluttering, my house is under control.
There is many regrets of hold on to object ways to long.
With ❤ and gratitude 🤗
I always enjoy the credits in your videos, lol 🙂
That was actually very helpful. I do this same thing very often when I buy things at thrift stores. I buy something that is kind of what I was looking for because it's so inexpensive, but it's not what I really wanted. And then, later, I realize what a waste of money! It would be so much wiser to save up for the actual item I really want.
Man you are singing the same song I've been singing!! Thanks for sharing💖
Dana, you make me laugh so often! I cracked up thinking about how many times I have done exactly what you are describing.
I do think though for those of us who are Gen x and were around grandparents who grew up in the depression and had parents who were frugal struggle with just in case items... I find myself saying I may need this one day for XYZ project and I've already spent money on it.. and then during the early days of COVID it was so hard to get some things that you wanted such as puzzles, etc. Living through that further reinforced that scarcity-minded frugal girl that is at the core of my upbringing...
I LOVE Reid’s commentaries at the end. ❤
⭐️Dancing With the (Local) Stars! ⭐️
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Congratulations on the opportunity to be in your local "Dancing With the Stars' fund raiser with your husband! That sounds fun! And this story you told in this video absolutely sounds like something I would do with buying something inexpensive 2nd hand to keep for the future. Your here and now reasoning also makes a whole of sense to me! Thank you for the video and help encouraging in letting go of the things. Although I will say, I have gotten rid of some items which were from my mom and dad's belongings that I wanted to keep but ultimately let them go and have since seen "ideas" about how I could have actually utilized those items in my home when at the time I didn't know how I would use them. I hate that I got rid of those few items but it's ok, it will all be ok, they were just things. I'm making progress going through their belongings and mine too and helping my daughter as well thanks to your helpful process that makes really great sense to me! It is all very helpful! And love your humor too. Thanks for making me laugh : )
Love the idea of 'keeping regret'
This story is helpful in thinking about what if items. I would love to see your dance! 💃
Dana this was great! Had help doing a huge garage declutter and reorganize session last week. When I saw how many Christmas totes I still had, after lots of donations, I regretted not donating more - which would have freed up more space in my garage. It made me start looking at other things in my house same way. Why am I keeping this or that? I was initially concerned about "donating regret" and, as it turns out, I've got "keeping regret"! But that's easily solved with donating! 🎉Yay!
lol... I luv you Dana. Just the simplicity of how you word things. I am also one who says.. gotta keep this for the "next time" I need the something "that'll work".
Thank you!!! for sharing that experience, it is like listening to my future smarter self. Eventually I would get to this realization too but you take me further faster than I ever could by my self. God Bless you, my life is better because of you Dana.
I have been decluttering for about 14 months now. I have to stop when overwhelmed then start again. I have just thrown 4 pairs of shoes away. I have handbags that need to go too but they were put away again. (aghh, Why?) I still have a long way to go but I am determined to keep going. It is getting easier the less I have. I do need to watch you from time to time to keep me focused. Thank you so much for keeping me motivated.
When you pulled out the character shoes I gasped. I've got a pair of Mary Jane tap shoes under my bed (purchased new) that I don't want to part with because they are exactly the shoes I want, but I haven't gone to class in over a decade now. Fortunately they fit the container but part of my brain thinks it's time to part ways...
Or you might sign up for a class. That counts as "taking it there now." 😀
I'm a former cheap Dance shoe hoarder too 😅 I had a similar epiphany this week and brought SEVEN manual timers to recycling some of which I was not sure even worked.. my logic was if I needed a timer would I go ahead and even look for these or would I buy one of the cheap digital plugs I could get in a day for little money.. so incredibly sad that I was probably allocating storage space to those for 15 years. ugh
You can even use the timer on your cell phone, if you have one. Then you can avoid the separate device. :)
@michele6708 ahhhh yah these are electric appliance timers lol but yah smart plugs are a replacement for them