25 Random Funny Quotes To Make Your Day

entertainmenttr... - We all love a little humor don’t we? Here’s 25 random quotes that will make your day a little bit better.
25 Funny Quotes You’ll Love:
1. “Behind every great man is woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carrey
2. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” - Mitch Hedberg
3. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” - Anthony Burgess
4. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” - Steve Martin
5. “Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you?” - Anonymous
6. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” - Robin Williams
7. “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” - Carl Sandburg
8. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” - Douglas Adams
9. “The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth.” - Anonymous
10. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?” - Arnold Schwarzenegger
11. “A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” - Franklin Jones
12. “If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.” - Wilson Mizner
13. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” - Joan Rivers
14. “I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” - W.C. Fields
15. “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hacket
16. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” - Anonymous
17. “If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.” - O. Henry
18. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” - Chris Rock
19. “Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” - Anonymous
20. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” - Ronald Reagan
21. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” - Rodney Dangerfield
22. “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” - Steven Wright
23. “I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.” - Anonymous
24. “If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.” - Henny Youngman
25. “Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.” - Sam Levenson
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funny quotes,
funny,
jim carrey,
robin williams,
chris rock,
ronald reagan,
rodney dangerfield,
steven wright,
henny youngman,
sam levenson,
buddy hacket,
o henry,
wc fields,
joan rivers,
wilson mizner,
arnold schwarzenegger,
douglas adams,
carl sandburg,
steve martin,
mitch hedberg,
best quotes,

[@juminhan3375]

I almost had a heart attack in the beginning

[@armando.v556]

OMFG SAME. I HAD THE VOLUME ALL THE WAY UP WHILE WEARING HEADPHONES

[@expertoes]

I AM ALL THE WAY UP

[@Ver-se]

Lol 😅_ High volume

[@Revengersuncle]

yᴀ ɴ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴇᴀʀ ᴩᴏᴅꜱ 🤣🤣

[@shikhatyagi6586]

Same here 😳😅😂

[@galaxygirl1240]

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday
~unknown

[@diannesauvlet2159]

When your parent's say you can't get a chocolate bar when it's way cheaper than everything else

[@robloxianempire7695]

I made this up: When people gossip, your the center of there attention.
What by the way means when people gossip about you, there talking about you, what means there jealous,

[@scotthughes7273]

They are funny! Thanks

[@animethics]

Excellent 😊

[@ruthbarron9775]

TOO FUNNY!!! :D :D

[@michaelmyers8596]

“Humans are like trees, they die after you chop them with an axe.”

[@Sai_Vamsi_Anupoju]

th-cam.com/video/WSJ10q-Jv9s/w-d-xo.html

[@roboticplayer3854]

1:06 killed me

[@kr-fp6gf]

Karma will slap you before i do

[@charmw8313]

Slides too fast... but some were funny

[@fiafalesefulu9748]

I don't need mocking bt yr encourage. I don't do anything . I love u all💖💜💙

[@camigrationconsultancy9134]

I have gotta few
Some people need a high five
In the face
with a chair
Never give up on your dreams
Keep sleeping
Things we say to mom and dad
Mom____________dad
I'm hungry. Wheres mom?
I'm sad
I'm bored
Can you hug me?
Play with me
Come outside plzz?

[@pokemonxyz9308]

The first ones savage

[@ploperdung]

These are stolen

[@kenzm6001]

The fatter you are the harder you are to kidnap stay safe eat cake

[@makunu2179]

Nobody is useless, I am a useful to be a perfect example for a usless person
-Makunu

[@yoonkit5931]

lol

[@heenagupta2940]

th-cam.com/video/Hg6NT3Caxls/w-d-xo.html

[@PorpledRB]

U forgot this "Imagine ur muscular but ur name is twinkle" Bahahahaha

[@bestowrubiconswin7552]

Great video bro.

[@note2732]

“Keep your friends rich and your enemies rich and wait to see which is which” - Ultron

[@Callofthegame247]

"Putting fuel on a fire isn't always bad. It just ensures there's no one left to report it." -- Dave

[@chloebrown1642]

Hahaha hahaha hahaha very funny I'm laugh hahahaha very good

[@nala3038]

Donut worry, be happy!

[@user-so9bk4sg6z]

1:21 honestly probably

[@rudyronquilloofficial]

Whats the title of music?

[@excellenthealthglobal5386]

Haha

[@okeyyoxkyris6418]

Remember kids, if a strange man offers you sweets, there's probably more in his car. ;)

[@foxfangs4236]

🤣😂😅

[@AI-Quotes10]

Nice subscription is interest and love.