The fact that she started crying as soon as she started talking shows you how much she needed to vent out. She's bottling up A LOT. I feel that therapy for Kristina might help her a lot.
Try not to be so naive. Lots of ppl on skid row know that they can make over a thousand dollars for one interview, not to mention if ppl like you or feel sorry for you, they may start a go fund me campaign. Ppl like this are what I like to call "bullshite artist."
@@DaMensch86 You are what we call a "judgemental ignorant jackass". Correct me if I'm wrong and you know her personally and details about her life that are inaccurately told. If that's not the case then do us all a favor and focus on shutting up and worry about critiquing your own life.
I love when Mark corrects their negative self talk. It’s so powerful. Kristina you can do this. You really really can. One moment at a time. Hugs to you!
The worst pain in the world is loving a parent that abuses you. They're the first people in the world that are supposed to love you, wholly and completely, and protect you. When they don't do that...? You can't imagine anybody else treating you better than that. There should be stiffer penalties for child abuse. MUCH stiffer.
As a daughter of a mom that is still on drugs, I couldn't agree with you more! CPS tried to take us multiple times, Idk how they never fully did. We all lived a rough life and praise God 4/5 of us have never even touched drugs.
I can't stand to comprehend the number of people suffering like this. Its so unfair. And the little petty things that people call "trauma" now.... takes away from these serious issues and dilutes humanity's compassion. It's overwhelming.
@@W.O.G.S.T.E.R People who REALLY need it , can't get it.. those real connivers still scamming ... n succeeding. But l definitely think she's getting FAKES n not noticing, or even loving it cuz if she's an opiate addict, these counterfeit Xan's are laced with Fentanyl or something like it. So she's getting her oblivion.
But yet our government at every turn takes resources away from keeping people like this childless that don’t need them to begin with . It’s enabling this cycle of trauma
That is so right. Kristina has a lot of issues around being clear about what is acceptable in a relationship and what is not, about what are her responsabilities and what are not. For instance, she apologizises for crying.
She deserves help. I feel like just watching this with her crying is her begging for help. After all she’s gone through she still has love in her heart
This is so heavy. When early traumas go unprocessed and unhealed, each new trauma (and the lifestyle of a broken person creates more trauma) reinfects the pain. This woman has SO much healing to do and the drugs are the smallest part. Our society is being destroyed by inter-generational trauma.
💯I’m just now learning that I did not help myself by staying silent , strong or saying I got this! It’s never got any better and still I struggle and continue to live in my trauma today.
I really hate that this societie and system treats addicts badly instead of trying to help them... They are sick not criminals... I hope she gets better
@@Havaseet2 I'm obviously talking about the drugs that cause a lot of problems... But in Portugal they went about the problem completely differently... They used to do it our way but didn't get any good results the same as we don't get good results... Just look it up what they started doing.... The way we handle it by treating them like criminals and shaming them and punishing them doesn't work to solve the problem and it never has and never will... What they do in Portugal though actually solves the problem
@@StephenRahrig Some of them yes and others are not the same as with any group... Sex addicts and gambling attics have the same problem... It's a side effect to addiction... But being an addict isn't a crime... They are covering up a lot of trauma that needs properly handled
Mark, this is the most difficult video of yours I've watched. I feel like she was forced to confront everything she was trying not to feel from the drug use, while sitting in your chair. And I felt them all with her. I hope this interview helps her and please follow up with her if you see her again.
Dam Mark you are a godsent, you were meant for this. This skills you have to not be judgemental and simply listen and understand are divine. I've been following this chanel since 25k subs it's exploded over the last year.
I think it speaks volumes to many of us who relate and hearing Mark speak to them also speaks to us that also desperately need it . I agree ... he was meant for this . Thank you Mark!🙏🏼
Mark ; “Do you use all the drugs that are available in the streets?” Kristina; “I know I’m a bad person” Mark ; “I’m just asking, I’m not judging”. If there’s one time through their painful addiction journey that the people we see will not be judged, it’s while being interviewed on this channel. Aside from the human compassion, positive follow up videos, and all the kindness I witness watching these people tell their stories, the non judgmental space provided on each one of those interviews happens to be what I most appreciate.
This interview affected me more than some of the others. Her tears break my heart. She needed to talk. Mark you are an angel to these people. Sweet girl you have a beautiful heart and you ARE NOT a bad person. You are just lost right now. 💕
This is the cause of so many mental health issues. A child with their still developing brain, psychologically cannot accept their parent is bad/hurting them, so they will internalize that they are the cause. This causes chronic low self esteem, emotional disregulstion, people pleasing, and disordered attachments. Conscious or not, this has life long ramifications.
@@hj6507 omg u just pegged it. As a child my primary thought was always that my mother would be ok if we(her kids just didn't exist). I spent my childhood caring for her feelings instead of my own. The struggle is real and definitely life long and causes awful health issues for the nervous system and brain function.
Good for you!! God choose whom ever he please to prove that he is real the choice is the person choice life or death 🙏 🙏 ohh but for The Grace of God goes I ❤
I really appreciate when Mark brings benzo addicts onto this channel. I was addicted to xanax for a year and it ruined my life. 10+ bar a day habit. It’s such an addictive and damaging substance, I became the worst version of myself. Only stopped after a week long bender landed myself in hospital when I shot up a gram of meth over an entire day, I had never used meth let alone injected before, I was on this bizarre mission to kill myself. It’s up there with heroin and meth for me. Horrible stuff. Made me absolutely crazy, truly a psychosis crazy. 3 months sober!
You’re right. Xanax is actually worse than heroin and meth from what I’ve heard, as far as withdrawals goes. Benzo’s almost got me when my grandma passed away and my dad was in the hospital for a few weeks due to heart failure and complications from COVID at the very end of 2019, going into 2020. I was prescribed bars during that time and was taking them like candy - I started noticing I was wanting to take them all the time so I had to look in the mirror and realized I was getting hooked. I stopped immediately and didn’t feel right for at least 10 days. The first 2-3 days were the worst but it was so worth it. Afterwards I watched a TH-cam video showing people who were trying to stop benzos after being in them for years and it’s scary. I’m glad you were able to stop yourself as well - prob the best decision you’ve ever made in your life.
@@GraV21 Wow TG .. I so understand your pain and loss. You are so lucky to have the good judgement and strength to save yourself and family MORE misery.
@@janicejacome thank you. I’m very lucky - especially since alcoholism/addiction runs deep in my family. I smoke pot, but that’s it. However I wish more people had more empathy from people struggling with addiction. Nobody chooses that shit
These videos are so painful to watch, but it is so important to watch them, to listen to these stories - it puts your life into such a different perspective, it makes you appreciate what you didn't appreciate before. What is more, these people deserve to be heard, they deserve our attention.
Amen. They have helped me see the homeless and addicts with a whole new understanding. I look beyond their situations. I know now they have a bigger story to tell than I can imagine.
I can't watch this, I had a horrible addiction to Xanax for a year or so and it literally drove me almost to suicide. It made me mentally unstable. My dreams were filled with demons trying to kill me, it's hard to describe how bad it was. Fortunately I don't have an addictive personality and by weaning myself off them over a period of 6 months (shaving tiny amounts off the pills, more each day) I managed to get off them. It took a long time to be able to sleep properly at night though. You can beat it, but it takes guts and the will to want to do it.
I took 2mg a day for 7 years. You are not alone. I still don’t know how I was able to beat it. If you haven’t gone thru the withdrawals of Xanax, it’s very difficult to even describe. Sleepless nights that go on for weeks, and even months. Unfortunately (not a recommendation) I started drinking heavily to try to offset my nerves. It sounds silly but really what helped me be able to sleep agin was exercise. I started doing 1 hour a day on the elliptical machine with weights and that made me so tired, I would finely sleep.
@@Melinda8162 definitely can do that. Look up Protracted Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome. Very scary and doctors are not recognizing the illness yet. Look up Dr.Heather Ashton.
God cant do it for her 'but only she can do it for her self, sorry but as Ned Kelly said before they hung him for crimes he didn't commit ''SUCH IS LIFE.
Some of us appreciate the knocks that we've gotten it makes me a more experienced man to know what cult life was like n when that was done I came to know just what being a raped boy was like n dropping my pa cuz he's no fun n living away 3000 miles away through my 20s n crashing my bike into intensive care twice n the last time I was in acomba for a quick 10 days n never having credit, ya that ones fun, n loveing more than than this life dope man cuz dope makes everything oh so much better, but I've known a hole bunch of lives n regardless of the way things went I'm a Mutch bigger person cuz of what I've known n I'm not nearly done with the fun game that I play I'll know just what life's like when I'm finally dead n I'll never forget any of it regardless of the dump trucks full of dope that I'll have done n then...
The best channel on TH-cam. Thank you for letting our voices be heard. There’s been times when I’m close to relapsing or thinking about it and I watch one of these videos and I stop myself. Thank you. I’m forever grateful for you.
omg my mom was an alcoholic who had extreme trauma and she passed away last year from complications. I'm traumatized from seeing her in the coma and already gone. I used to brush her hair and she was an amazing mom until the anxiety from abuse got too much for her. but she always believed me whenever I came to her with a problem. I was with her constantly near the end. resonated very strongly with her story. they shouldn't have taken her son from old charges. CPS is corrupt. there's a HUGE incentive for children to be stolen from parents to be adopted out due to the money it brings in smh. I wish her health hope and healing.
Mark you have already changed the world with your videos and interviews. What is ment to be will find a way. Stay strong and we will keep supporting you. Im poor but I would be willing to donate 20$ a month to keep you telling these stories. I love your spirit and your big heart we need you to keep this going. Dont stop now your changing so many lives. God Bless.
I hate Xanax , 2 years clean from a 10 year run filled with suffering of unimaginable proportions. Best of luck in life darling , I truly hope things get better for you.
Same with Diazepam. It has a half- life so long like no other benzodiazepine so when you think you have gone 4 days without any it can't be so bad does it ? And THEN it hits you. The emotional breakdonwns, the skin feeling too tight, the strange dreams, the no - real sleep phase and finally the tremors......and then you realise you are fu#%ed.....
@@GARDUNOFAMILY you can do it - I went through a 3 month period of depression and having panic attacks when I lost my grandma and another family member, along with other things, that I started using Xanax. It helped me escape and felt good but I started to realize I was becoming addicted and once I realized that, I stopped immediately. It was uncomfortable for about 2-3 days, and took a couple weeks before I was able to sleep normally but I got through it. I’ve heard Benzodiazepine withdrawal is the worst withdrawals you can get - even worse than opiates. Try smoking some pot instead maybe? Good luck brother.
Dont ever judge. People who struggle. Sometimes a person is dealt cards so hard, it's close to impossible to break out of it. All the people who go around saying pull up your bootstraps and go better, obviously had a lot of shit handed to them and never experience true adversity. Life isn't fair. It's just the truth.
the suffering that she has gone through just cracks my heart. my god if i could set up a program to fund therapy and psychiatrist appointments for skid row addicts and those who have been physically, mentally and sexually abused i would. it’s been a goal of mine for a very very long time. this story just tore me up. it’s so heartbreaking.
@@janicejacome i can’t even imagine what it must be like. i hope that you can get the help you need. you deserve it. i wish i could have the program in every state so that both you and kristina didn’t have to suffer at all. please keep well and safe.
i like the work you do, man. i feel more folks should know about channels like this so people are more informed on what happens when you go through things like this.
Thanks for posting these long videos again Mark. I know you work so hard at this project and spend a ton of cash doing it. I’m sure all of your dedicated viewers have made these videos (including me) part of their personal recovery. Folks flipped out over the super short videos and I think that was pretty selfish for folks to complain about you trying to recover your losses. But thanks for posting the full length videos brother. You don’t have to do that but I know so many appreciate it. Much respect and love to you sir...this is such an excellent thing what you do for so many people. ✊✊❤️❤️❤️❤️
Looked this up because I am detoxing off xanax right now. This is not my 1st time, but it will be my last. Been on benzos for decades by Dr.s. fir anxiety. If you read your comments, Kristina, i hope you are in the process of stopping too.Cold turkey turns into months and years of cold , sore bones,confusion,uncomfortableness, feeling sore, unwell, confused and like your being rung out like a wet washcloth. I am home on a clean warm bed and every day is hard, i dont know how you'd do THIS in a tent on the streets of skid row. I can tell you this sickness getting off it is already better knowing it is coming out. XANAX is not for the weak.....remember you have to be strong to get off it. Never again for me, never taking it again.i hope you are getting off ot too. Your story helped me. THANK YOU KRISTINA.This will take a very long time, and much pain and patience, its already worth it. Hope u r in the same place if not better....sending healing and strength to you ,girl. FUCK BENZOS
Kristina is a beautiful but damaged soul...I could relate to her childhood with her mom on her 'alcoholic journey', as she phrased it...Her emotions and tears flow so easily...She stated 'I just don't want to feel' and ' I don't even care - sometimes'...but that she does feel and care is what is going to keep her alive...God bless her...
I envision a circle of loving people in a field of grass. This woman is in the center. For hours they listen to her story, looking in to her eyes, rubbing her back, and there are many hugs, and many, many years. Sometimes she lays on the grass, feeling the Mother, healing naturally. Sometimes she runs and screams it out. For days they do this, weeks, months. Through repeated sessions of her being listened to and loved, encouraged to find her inner gifts, what she's really about under the trauma, she begins to heal. They are all on land in nature. She has healthy food and fresh water there and no access to drugs. She is learning natural techniques for calming and centering, for reasoning. She is learning to mother herself, to father herself. When she finally leaves, she has a loving support system, not of professionals, but of those who helped her heal, who had all been through trauma and this same healing. It is this genuine one to one personal attention and Love that is really needed. ❤️
Mark! Kristina’s story was heart wrenching. I can hear her cry for help within her tears. If anyone deserves the help for treatment, it’s her. I know that Amanda’s doctor Lima would be a great resource! I pray for Kristina. I can hear how much love she has for her family and children and if drugs weren’t in her life, I know how much love and kindness her heart would spread to all of her loved ones. 🥺❤️🙏🏽❤️🥺
This poor lady reminds me of my mother. Her Mom was a bad drinker. She has cigarette burns, two stab wounds and a gunshot scar from a gun accidentally being fired in the house. This hits home with me so much. I became an addict myself but I finally got myself clean (three years now) after a 20 years of being a poly-addict. The reason I love this channel so much is I don't feel so alone when I'm feeling broken. Thank you for helping all these folks have a voice as well as from viewers like myself having a way of connecting with people through the power of story. Please keep up the amazing work.
She seems genuinely remorseful for all the wrong she’s done. And I hope she’s able to find her way out of her addiction. I hope she’s able to get her life back together and hopefully she’ll be able to get the son that she sees back providing she does what she needs to do. I wish her nothing but the best, sending her love and light✨
Sending you the warmest hug ever..how l understand your kind spirit.. You were a Sweet Daughter with a HUGE HEART ❤...know that! You're beautiful and don't deserve the pain! NOT YOUR FAULT, Sweetheart
@@tomkeppler1717 I'm far from a Softy, Tom and l know where you're coming from. I don't doubt if she was at your house, AT BEST you'd find a few things missing, and you wouldn't have a minutes peace,etc.. Of course conscience and morals go out the window. You're not dealing with a "normal" person as far as that goes, unfortunately she was raised by WHO?? And suffered WHAT?? I still see her heart and l like her besides the fact that she's a mess. It's hard to retain that much LOVE in your heart through all that she's been through. No one is saying l'd want her as a roommate.
@@tomkeppler1717 I'm a homeless person who doesn't have a pot or a window, as the old expression goes but l will retain my compassionate nature through my shitty ( at this moment) life. It's just not as black and white as you make it, Tom. Why does it make me FAKE? I'm kinda flattered if l look like a bleeding heart liberal with all l've been through! Of course ld be fake if l didn't get where you're coming from,of COURSE l do!
I have never commented on a video ever. I’m in recovery and have 3 1/2 years clean. I don’t say that because I’m proud of it. I say it because it’s possible. I’ve never wanted to hug anyone as much as I’ve wanted to hug her. I’m turning 41 tomorrow, and it’s a blessing. I work at a treatment facility and we give scholarships and have resources to get her the help she needs and wants. If there is anything I can do, and she is willing…reach out. I can feel her pain because I’ve been her. This video hit different. Damn.
I’d wager this beautiful soul would benefit greatly from a simple CNA job. Caregiver responsibility. Take care of someone who needs her and the drugs would slowly be less and less a part of her life. Hope all the best ❤️
@L Train45 your drug and her drug are both drugs. If one needs to come before the other it doesn’t matter the order. “Practicing physicians” use drugs everyday and you trust them to give you advice and help. No different
@@JE-tz4sh How can anyone who is addicted to drugs , and needs mental help. Focus on a job? They probably would want too , but if they have " bad days" last thing would want to donis jump out of bed and clean ass ( cna) i was one for 15 years. Worst job ever my back still kills me and low pay over worked. I loved my clients but the work is hard. Well, for me it was.
🤣🤣🤣do you even know how many CNAs use drugs?? Have you ever done the job? After being berated by staff and the patients and wiping asses all day for shitty pay you'll be wishing you had drugs.👌
She's got a very kind and empathetic personality, but healthcare jobs are pretty strict on background checks. If you have a criminal record of drugs, prostitution, theft, etc you can't get those type of jobs.
I love this channel so much! Most closed minded people would look at her and say "druggie" and say it was her choice and she deserves all the consequences from using. But this channel makes you realize, there is so much behind the drug use and not just "choosing to be a druggie".
I have watched a lot of these videos, and I've felt bad for every person. This one is the one that brought me to tears 😢. I feel so bad for her and hope she finds help
@@marylougeorge9890 easy to say.. but specifically what can a person do. Remembering her feels like wishes and prayers. Tangibly.. what can we do, for her and for those like her in our own communities. What?
This Story is another really sad one. Thank you god for letting me have two great parents and a good family life. Watching these videos, makes you put your life into perspective...
I love how just RAW your interviews are without judgment. Really makes you think about how small our problems are compared to the lost souls you interview. Makes you feel so small.
Please mark if you ever speak to this lady tell her she is loved and cared about. Beautiful soul that deserves so much better. Thank you for giving thus wonderful human being a voice
This is the only video that has really affected me. It's hard to watch only because you can see how hurt she is and how bad she just needs a hug. Some love and (like she said) support. I hope she gets out of there some day
I’m cheering for you, Kristina! Sending you a big hug. Tough times don’t last but tough people do. You have been through so much, it’s time for you to recover for yourself so you can find the peace you deserve. ❤️
She really is beautiful, and such a kind soul. I hope her babies get to see how much she loves them someday, and I really hope she’s able to find help that works for her.
@@kristinadonohue-prisby8588 I am guessing this is you in the video? If so - please ignore the rude/unnecessary comments. You are beautiful - I believe in you!
It's never to late to turn your life around. I can feel your pain plz don't give up. Make an appt and get back on methadone. It can help u get stability back into your life then u can do the counseling and slowly wean off. You deserve a good life and there's so many ppl u can help your not a loser!
I love seeing the empathy from people who care. We need more of that around here. However, Methadone isn’t the only option - in fact, I would suggest if she’s going to go on MAT (medical assisted treatment) to go the Buprenorphine route. Methadone just gets you high so you’re basically trading one for another, but Bupe doesn’t. If she can get off the Xanax without MAT that would be ideal but regardless which route she takes, I hope she’s successful and able to be happy again. I hate watching anything/anyone suffer.
@@GraV21 actually I've been on methadone for 3yrs now I've gotten my life back I'm back in school and it has never gave me any feeling of being high now I say that everybody reacts different and if ppl use any other drug on top of methadone they will get high but with all MATs as long as you use them properly under a doctors order and go to therapy they can work there is such a stigma out there which needs to stop. Ppl need to become educated. I also don't believe u should remain on MAT for yrs I think once u r stable and living a productive life your making great headway and then I believe u should start decreasing your dosage. Just like any medication out there u should always safely wean off of. It's you are so right it's so awful watching ppl suffer I just pray they read our responds and know they do have ppl out here who care and are behind them cheering them on.
My mother was a chronic alcoholic, unable to love, take care of her children. She commited a slow suicide over 25 years of hard drinking.She lost her job, her car, her children, her teeth, her dignity. She finally lost her life 2 weeks ago. I'm so glad she is finally free from her addiction and pain
I love that you do this! U treat everyone equal. And it’s shines light to the problem and educates people who don’t know and shows they are human to and have a heart n soul and just a normal human behind it all! SENDING LOVE FROM AUSTRALIA 🇦🇺 🐨 🦘 💕
Please be careful, and if you can seek some medical professional advice or let someone know that can monitor you so you are not alone-Benzodiazepines and alcohol withdrawal are the two substances withdrawal that can kill you/cause severe medical problems. Stay strong! Each day that passes is another day closer to freedom.
The answer to Mark's final question is gold. 'The most important lesson I've learned is that you don't need substances to make yourself happy. You just need people.' Like damnnnnnnnnnnn mf'in mic drop close up shop & shit that's some truth right there to anyone who struggles with addiction
I just watched ads before this video started. So im doing my diligence and watching it, clicking on it, commenting on this video and liking it. (because of course I liked it lol). Human experience is fascinating to me and I appreciate you speaking to these ppl as I know alot of them dont get to tell their story.
I watch this channel from the start, 95 % of the woman Mark interviewed suffered some kind of abuse! Getting into this vicious circle of addiction, prostitution and self shaming! It is really sad! This exhausting life just destroyes them! Addiction is a gruesome sickness! Kristina is worth taking another chance! Love to you Kristina💜💜
At 12:00 when she said she doesn't even care if she ODs and the change in her voice, absolutely broke me. What a poor soul who needs so much love& compassion. Praying some day and one day she will find the happiness and light she deserves.
"do you use all the drugs on the street?" "I know I'm a bad personnn." "No, I'm just asking not judging." 🙌 I'm growing so fond of you Mark! You did a great job comforting while guiding this interview... This poor girl. Xanax is my DOC, too. Numbness for the broken heart is my DOC. And how Kristina said she is numb from love, too. It's hard to be numb and happy... Does she love herself or are the drugs more important than her... Kristina, the drugs are actually an act of self love. It's a symptom. A way to cope to care for yourself, it is a maladaptive self love... Random thoughts. I'm learning and happy to be free of Xanax today. Still battling other addictions, but functioning, and learning how to feel. It isn't glamorous. I wish recovery and peace for Kristina. 🦋
The saddest part is, this poor woman said that she does drugs because she doesn't want to feel, and yet she cried through the entire interview. She is in terrible pain.
Xanax is the devil! I started taking 1mg as needed 6 years ago. Now I routinely take 3mg a day just to control the anxiety rebound from not having the Xanax. I feel like I live my life around a calendar, counting pills and the days until I can re-up. I’m trying so hard to drop down to 2mg a day on my own. But I know this will take a long time to get me where I won’t feel the effects of not having it. I feel her pain and start crying anytime I try talking about my dependence. Prayers for her❤️
I cried like a baby when she said that her dad got clean and got back with her mom before she passed away and “one moment he was there”… I wish this experience on everyone who lives through divorce and parental separation… I just want to hugs Kristina so much. I don’t know why she touched me so much. 😭❤️
Same thing happened to me when I told my mom that my brother had molested me. I told her the night I brought my daughter home from the hospital. She was so precious I just lost it and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. I told my mom the same thing happened to my sister but my sister denied it till many years later. Fuck them! I haven’t spoken to my family in 4 years. It’s very hard not having a family. But I’m so afraid of “losing it” again and I just really got on my feet again.
This young lady pulled at my heartstrings more than many others. She seems so vulnerable and her emotions so raw. She can pull herself out of this hole with the right support system and intense therapy.
It is so sad that us addicts will do anything to not feel the pain. When I finally got clean after shooting meth 27 years it was so rewarding to be able to feel stuff process it then move on.
Her sweetness and intelligence is still intact even after all that suffering. I pray she gets the help she so desperately needs. I wish there was some way I could help her.
Oh god. Poor baby. I’m crying right with you Kristina. You are a good, good person and your suffering is worthy of all the compassion in the world. You are NOT a bad person. Everything you are going through, everything you went through is so valid. Anyone else would have resorted to drugs under the circumstances you were in, the things you were exposed to. I’m glad you realize the situations you and your sister were in should have NEVER HAPPENED! I think you are clouded by the abuse and neglect you faced as a child to really see it, so let me say it now as someone watching you and hearing you objectively - you are a good person, with a kind heart, plagued by terrible pain and trauma that should have never happened to you. You are remorseful, you care about your children’s feelings and have an overwhelming love for your son. You loved your mother and took joy in caring for her and getting her validation just like any other good hearted human being in the world. Just the fact that as soon as you came on here and were able to tell your story and you started breaking down immediately - what a burden you are carrying! I hope you can read this one day Kristina.
Wounded child. Heartbreaking. She’s still feeling guilty about a mother that was sick in so many ways. Common in ACOA’s. There’s nothing she could have done to change that. I hope she gets help. She is far from the bad person person feels she is.
My mom was also an alcoholic and died from liver cirrhosis when I was 14. Soon after, my dad left me. The pain is real. Hearing her talk about how beautiful her mom was despite everything and how close they were towards the end reminds me of my own relationship with my mother. No one deserves to be orphaned the way she was
This...she is screaming for help! She wants to change. She wants to get clean. If all 860 of us who've commented on this video donated $5 that would be a huge start to a good recovery program for her. She's so young still. This breaks my heart
Kristina you are not a bad person.It's heartbreaking to listen to your story. A mother's love is so important, the building blocks to developing and learning.Your mother burnt you with cigarettes yet you still loved her, you yearned for her love. I sincerely hope you get help you seem such a loving person.
The fact that she started crying as soon as she started talking shows you how much she needed to vent out. She's bottling up A LOT. I feel that therapy for Kristina might help her a lot.
Try not to be so naive. Lots of ppl on skid row know that they can make over a thousand dollars for one interview, not to mention if ppl like you or feel sorry for you, they may start a go fund me campaign. Ppl like this are what I like to call "bullshite artist."
@@DaMensch86 You are what we call a "judgemental ignorant jackass". Correct me if I'm wrong and you know her personally and details about her life that are inaccurately told. If that's not the case then do us all a favor and focus on shutting up and worry about critiquing your own life.
@@DaMensch86 bruh u weird asf broke boi
@@DaMensch86 Right I was feeling bad for her until I realized not a single tear came out of her eye.
@@springtreats9509 well her face is wet on both sides under her eyes
I love when Mark corrects their negative self talk. It’s so powerful. Kristina you can do this. You really really can. One moment at a time. Hugs to you!
😊💖
❤️❤️❤️❤️. He is really something 💯💯💯
We need more people like him fr
@@lesleybrown1583 couldn't have said it any better than that
Mark smoking that tar
All over the world are invisible people. Thank you for allowing their voices to be heard. This is such important work🙏
Amen!💖
Yes it is.
Excellent comment
Heart breaking!
Unfortunately if you're poor you get little if any justice.
The worst pain in the world is loving a parent that abuses you. They're the first people in the world that are supposed to love you, wholly and completely, and protect you. When they don't do that...? You can't imagine anybody else treating you better than that.
There should be stiffer penalties for child abuse. MUCH stiffer.
As a daughter of a mom that is still on drugs, I couldn't agree with you more! CPS tried to take us multiple times, Idk how they never fully did. We all lived a rough life and praise God 4/5 of us have never even touched drugs.
The worst pain is being abused.
Also we need more available and better quality mental health care! NOW!
You just put into words something I’ve never been able to figure out how to verbalize. Thank you for this post!
This is powerful! Your comment needs to be pinned 🙌🏽❤️🙌🏽🥰
This is so sad, she’s suffering so much. She’s a kind soul.
Amen prayers for her every day God has a good plan for her I pray she finds it soon God bless prayers and happiness for ♥️💐
@@donnahardenbrook7440 Me too!!
How do people get Xanax anymore, I though big pharma shut that shit down
I can't stand to comprehend the number of people suffering like this. Its so unfair. And the little petty things that people call "trauma" now.... takes away from these serious issues and dilutes humanity's compassion. It's overwhelming.
@@W.O.G.S.T.E.R People who REALLY need it , can't get it.. those real connivers still scamming ... n succeeding. But l definitely think she's getting FAKES n not noticing, or even loving it cuz if she's an opiate addict, these counterfeit Xan's are laced with Fentanyl or something like it. So she's getting her oblivion.
I can tell this girl was dying to tell someone what has been going on her life. Thank you for giving these people a voice.
Yes, she seems to have been holding it in for a long time.😢💔
Isn't it crazy how it all starts with 1 or 2 people who decide to have kids who aren't capable of being loving parents?
😢
But yet our government at every turn takes resources away from keeping people like this childless that don’t need them to begin with . It’s enabling this cycle of trauma
Or an uncle or brother who thinks they can do whatever they want to little boys and little girls and then the trauma begins! Sick!!!
Yet having a choice is a problem. All this trauma. This is America.
@@crohniequeenab And we should have Better mental health care!
This gal needed to vent a lifetime of memories. Maybe it will help her in the days ahead and allow her to feel a little lighter.
Amen. I do believe she has more to let out. Like the cigarette burns on her hands.😢
maybe it will make it feel a little raw for a while though...
Unfortunately addicts often will tell their stories over and over, but they never really make the connection to get a real breakthrough.
When you’ve been so abused that you don’t even know what abuse is. NOT her fault
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ true
That is so right. Kristina has a lot of issues around being clear about what is acceptable in a relationship and what is not, about what are her responsabilities and what are not. For instance, she apologizises for crying.
Sweet baby….so much pain😔
She deserves help. I feel like just watching this with her crying is her begging for help. After all she’s gone through she still has love in her heart
Oh my god yes. She is so vulnerable. Most people on this channel have a wall up.
@Ruthsuhninja- she deserves to be loved and happy! I so wish we could wave a magic wand 🪄
This is so heavy. When early traumas go unprocessed and unhealed, each new trauma (and the lifestyle of a broken person creates more trauma) reinfects the pain. This woman has SO much healing to do and the drugs are the smallest part. Our society is being destroyed by inter-generational trauma.
You're telling the truth.
I see it every day. Generation after generation. Sad. Thank you for this comment
💯I’m just now learning that I did not help myself by staying silent , strong or saying I got this! It’s never got any better and still I struggle and continue to live in my trauma today.
I really hate that this societie and system treats addicts badly instead of trying to help them... They are sick not criminals... I hope she gets better
Yes, this society creates addicts then vilifies and discards them.
Plus they’re criminals too so
"Sick" huh? k. If you say so. Does that include nicotine, sugar and caffeine? .
@@Havaseet2 I'm obviously talking about the drugs that cause a lot of problems... But in Portugal they went about the problem completely differently... They used to do it our way but didn't get any good results the same as we don't get good results... Just look it up what they started doing.... The way we handle it by treating them like criminals and shaming them and punishing them doesn't work to solve the problem and it never has and never will... What they do in Portugal though actually solves the problem
@@StephenRahrig Some of them yes and others are not the same as with any group... Sex addicts and gambling attics have the same problem... It's a side effect to addiction... But being an addict isn't a crime... They are covering up a lot of trauma that needs properly handled
Mark, this is the most difficult video of yours I've watched. I feel like she was forced to confront everything she was trying not to feel from the drug use, while sitting in your chair. And I felt them all with her.
I hope this interview helps her and please follow up with her if you see her again.
That is exactly how I felt just now watching her. Her suffering is palpable.
Dam Mark you are a godsent, you were meant for this. This skills you have to not be judgemental and simply listen and understand are divine. I've been following this chanel since 25k subs it's exploded over the last year.
👌👌👌👌👌♥️♥️♥️♥️ exactly!!!!
I think it speaks volumes to many of us who relate and hearing Mark speak to them also speaks to us that also desperately need it .
I agree ... he was meant for this . Thank you Mark!🙏🏼
Mark ; “Do you use all the drugs that are available in the streets?” Kristina; “I know I’m a bad person” Mark ; “I’m just asking, I’m not judging”.
If there’s one time through their painful addiction journey that the people we see will not be judged, it’s while being interviewed on this channel. Aside from the human compassion, positive follow up videos, and all the kindness I witness watching these people tell their stories, the non judgmental space provided on each one of those interviews happens to be what I most appreciate.
This interview affected me more than some of the others. Her tears break my heart. She needed to talk. Mark you are an angel to these people.
Sweet girl you have a beautiful heart and you ARE NOT a bad person. You are just lost right now. 💕
It’s sad how a child will love their parent even if the parent is brutal.
This is the cause of so many mental health issues. A child with their still developing brain, psychologically cannot accept their parent is bad/hurting them, so they will internalize that they are the cause. This causes chronic low self esteem, emotional disregulstion, people pleasing, and disordered attachments. Conscious or not, this has life long ramifications.
@@hj6507 yes it does.
I feel it is finally getting the attention from her mom that she so badly needed as a child...
@@hj6507 Yes.😢
@@hj6507 omg u just pegged it. As a child my primary thought was always that my mother would be ok if we(her kids just didn't exist). I spent my childhood caring for her feelings instead of my own. The struggle is real and definitely life long and causes awful health issues for the nervous system and brain function.
I wish people could understand this is how almost all addicts feel inside. They just push it down. Got 5 years clean and this is how we feel.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I'm happy about your sobriety. Well done.😊👏👏👏💖
Good for you!! God choose whom ever he please to prove that he is real the choice is the person choice life or death 🙏 🙏 ohh but for The Grace of God goes I ❤
Please keep speaking up about what you went through so people will get to know the truth.❤
I really appreciate when Mark brings benzo addicts onto this channel. I was addicted to xanax for a year and it ruined my life. 10+ bar a day habit. It’s such an addictive and damaging substance, I became the worst version of myself. Only stopped after a week long bender landed myself in hospital when I shot up a gram of meth over an entire day, I had never used meth let alone injected before, I was on this bizarre mission to kill myself. It’s up there with heroin and meth for me. Horrible stuff. Made me absolutely crazy, truly a psychosis crazy. 3 months sober!
WOW!!!! Well done , Strong Young 🏆 Winner!!!
You’re right. Xanax is actually worse than heroin and meth from what I’ve heard, as far as withdrawals goes. Benzo’s almost got me when my grandma passed away and my dad was in the hospital for a few weeks due to heart failure and complications from COVID at the very end of 2019, going into 2020. I was prescribed bars during that time and was taking them like candy - I started noticing I was wanting to take them all the time so I had to look in the mirror and realized I was getting hooked. I stopped immediately and didn’t feel right for at least 10 days. The first 2-3 days were the worst but it was so worth it. Afterwards I watched a TH-cam video showing people who were trying to stop benzos after being in them for years and it’s scary. I’m glad you were able to stop yourself as well - prob the best decision you’ve ever made in your life.
Congrats on being sober! That's a *huge* deal! Benzos are no joke! 🙏🏻
@@GraV21 Wow TG .. I so understand your pain and loss. You are so lucky to have the good judgement and strength to save yourself and family MORE misery.
@@janicejacome thank you. I’m very lucky - especially since alcoholism/addiction runs deep in my family. I smoke pot, but that’s it. However I wish more people had more empathy from people struggling with addiction. Nobody chooses that shit
These videos are so painful to watch, but it is so important to watch them, to listen to these stories - it puts your life into such a different perspective, it makes you appreciate what you didn't appreciate before. What is more, these people deserve to be heard, they deserve our attention.
Amen. They have helped me see the homeless and addicts with a whole new understanding. I look beyond their situations. I know now they have a bigger story to tell than I can imagine.
I can't watch this, I had a horrible addiction to Xanax for a year or so and it literally drove me almost to suicide. It made me mentally unstable. My dreams were filled with demons trying to kill me, it's hard to describe how bad it was. Fortunately I don't have an addictive personality and by weaning myself off them over a period of 6 months (shaving tiny amounts off the pills, more each day) I managed to get off them. It took a long time to be able to sleep properly at night though. You can beat it, but it takes guts and the will to want to do it.
Like....what / how much of an addiction? One a day, surely can't do that.
@Meow🐈 It's possible to taper off with diazepam by yourself.
I took 2mg a day for 7 years. You are not alone. I still don’t know how I was able to beat it. If you haven’t gone thru the withdrawals of Xanax, it’s very difficult to even describe. Sleepless nights that go on for weeks, and even months. Unfortunately (not a recommendation) I started drinking heavily to try to offset my nerves. It sounds silly but really what helped me be able to sleep agin was exercise. I started doing 1 hour a day on the elliptical machine with weights and that made me so tired, I would finely sleep.
@@Melinda8162 definitely can do that. Look up Protracted Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome. Very scary and doctors are not recognizing the illness yet. Look up Dr.Heather Ashton.
@Meow🐈 rehab doesn't work for Benzodiazepines. Only a LONG taper can help.
May God give this woman the peace that she needs as well as healing ❤️ she is in so much immense pain from childhood
Yes Father... show her your love and peace. ❤🙏🏻
God cant do it for her 'but only she can do it for her self, sorry but as Ned Kelly said before they hung him for crimes he didn't commit ''SUCH IS LIFE.
@@davechristian7543 sense you don’t make good day be blessed ❤️
@@jalainamartin3331 GOD CAN NOT HELP HER 'BUT ONLY SHE CAN HELP HER SELF. wat dont u understand about that ?
@@davechristian7543 I understand what you are saying, the Lord helps those who help themselves!
Sad and people wonder why these neglected abused children grow up to be dependent on drugs or alcohol. 🙄🙏
It is sad and this is their cross to bare. Just wish we could love and protect them all. 🙁
@Simply me not all have the constitution to flip it as easy.
@Simply me it's not that black and white.
Some of us appreciate the knocks that we've gotten it makes me a more experienced man to know what cult life was like n when that was done I came to know just what being a raped boy was like n dropping my pa cuz he's no fun n living away 3000 miles away through my 20s n crashing my bike into intensive care twice n the last time I was in acomba for a quick 10 days n never having credit, ya that ones fun, n loveing more than than this life dope man cuz dope makes everything oh so much better, but I've known a hole bunch of lives n regardless of the way things went I'm a Mutch bigger person cuz of what I've known n I'm not nearly done with the fun game that I play I'll know just what life's like when I'm finally dead n I'll never forget any of it regardless of the dump trucks full of dope that I'll have done n then...
But drugs are so Mutch fkn fun, aren't they?
Very sad. This person has suffered horrible trauma.
Mark should title these vids abuse survivors instead of addicts.
I believe more than she told.😢
Please keep us updated on Kristina. I really feel her pain and just want to give her a hug.
I wish her sobriety and a beautiful life.
The best channel on TH-cam. Thank you for letting our voices be heard. There’s been times when I’m close to relapsing or thinking about it and I watch one of these videos and I stop myself. Thank you. I’m forever grateful for you.
omg my mom was an alcoholic who had extreme trauma and she passed away last year from complications. I'm traumatized from seeing her in the coma and already gone. I used to brush her hair and she was an amazing mom until the anxiety from abuse got too much for her. but she always believed me whenever I came to her with a problem. I was with her constantly near the end.
resonated very strongly with her story.
they shouldn't have taken her son from old charges. CPS is corrupt. there's a HUGE incentive for children to be stolen from parents to be adopted out due to the money it brings in smh.
I wish her health hope and healing.
CPS sure is known for screwing up.😢
Mark you have already changed the world with your videos and interviews. What is ment to be will find a way. Stay strong and we will keep supporting you. Im poor but I would be willing to donate 20$ a month to keep you telling these stories. I love your spirit and your big heart we need you to keep this going. Dont stop now your changing so many lives. God Bless.
I hate Xanax , 2 years clean from a 10 year run filled with suffering of unimaginable proportions. Best of luck in life darling , I truly hope things get better for you.
It's evil. You never hear people talk about a good time on it . It's always bad.
Hope you are doing well my friend,
It’s hard to quit xans , cus it feels so good ... I’m still fighting brotha
Same with Diazepam. It has a half- life so long like no other benzodiazepine so when you think you have gone 4 days without any it can't be so bad does it ? And THEN it hits you. The emotional breakdonwns, the skin feeling too tight, the strange dreams, the no - real sleep phase and finally the tremors......and then you realise you are fu#%ed.....
@@GARDUNOFAMILY you can do it - I went through a 3 month period of depression and having panic attacks when I lost my grandma and another family member, along with other things, that I started using Xanax. It helped me escape and felt good but I started to realize I was becoming addicted and once I realized that, I stopped immediately. It was uncomfortable for about 2-3 days, and took a couple weeks before I was able to sleep normally but I got through it. I’ve heard Benzodiazepine withdrawal is the worst withdrawals you can get - even worse than opiates. Try smoking some pot instead maybe? Good luck brother.
Have a great day Mark. You are building a beautiful legacy with all of your work. I think you are one of the most amazing people in the world.
😊👌👍💖
She says she's a good person and I believe she is.
She's empathetic that's why she needs drugs to not feel
Addicts aren't bad people. They are SICK people.
Dont ever judge. People who struggle. Sometimes a person is dealt cards so hard, it's close to impossible to break out of it. All the people who go around saying pull up your bootstraps and go better, obviously had a lot of shit handed to them and never experience true adversity. Life isn't fair. It's just the truth.
Amen!
the suffering that she has gone through just cracks my heart. my god if i could set up a program to fund therapy and psychiatrist appointments for skid row addicts and those who have been physically, mentally and sexually abused i would. it’s been a goal of mine for a very very long time. this story just tore me up. it’s so heartbreaking.
It's very noble of you and we need MORE compassion. As one who is going through it in NYC ... it's a horrible time to try and get help.
@@janicejacome i can’t even imagine what it must be like. i hope that you can get the help you need. you deserve it. i wish i could have the program in every state so that both you and kristina didn’t have to suffer at all. please keep well and safe.
💖
I’ve never seen an interview where they cry within the first minute. So sad ):
Agreed, so many of them tell their story in a numb emotionless way, she's a really expressive and vulnerable person.
i like the work you do, man. i feel more folks should know about channels like this so people are more informed on what happens when you go through things like this.
She is a natural healing soul, she’s just lost in pain.😭 my heart’s breaking at the thought of your loss.
Oh Kristina.. you don’t deserve all this pain. You’re worth so much love and caring.
This level of self loathing and self pity is so hard to watch. I hope she gets into a program.
I heard self loathing but not self pity.
Baby you are an absolute angel to care for a woman who was suppose to protect you and keep you safe. You deserve the world!
Thanks for posting these long videos again Mark. I know you work so hard at this project and spend a ton of cash doing it. I’m sure all of your dedicated viewers have made these videos (including me) part of their personal recovery. Folks flipped out over the super short videos and I think that was pretty selfish for folks to complain about you trying to recover your losses. But thanks for posting the full length videos brother. You don’t have to do that but I know so many appreciate it. Much respect and love to you sir...this is such an excellent thing what you do for so many people. ✊✊❤️❤️❤️❤️
I second that!👍👍
Well said, thank you
Looked this up because I am detoxing off xanax right now. This is not my 1st time, but it will be my last. Been on benzos for decades by Dr.s. fir anxiety. If you read your comments, Kristina, i hope you are in the process of stopping too.Cold turkey turns into months and years of cold , sore bones,confusion,uncomfortableness, feeling sore, unwell, confused and like your being rung out like a wet washcloth. I am home on a clean warm bed and every day is hard, i dont know how you'd do THIS in a tent on the streets of skid row. I can tell you this sickness getting off it is already better knowing it is coming out. XANAX is not for the weak.....remember you have to be strong to get off it. Never again for me, never taking it again.i hope you are getting off ot too. Your story helped me. THANK YOU KRISTINA.This will take a very long time, and much pain and patience, its already worth it. Hope u r in the same place if not better....sending healing and strength to you ,girl. FUCK BENZOS
Kristina is a beautiful but damaged soul...I could relate to her childhood with her mom on her 'alcoholic journey', as she phrased it...Her emotions and tears flow so easily...She stated 'I just don't want to feel' and ' I don't even care - sometimes'...but that she does feel and care is what is going to keep her alive...God bless her...
God my heart breaks for all these people. She has been through so much, no wonder she seeks relief.
Amen.
I envision a circle of loving people in a field of grass. This woman is in the center. For hours they listen to her story, looking in to her eyes, rubbing her back, and there are many hugs, and many, many years. Sometimes she lays on the grass, feeling the Mother, healing naturally. Sometimes she runs and screams it out. For days they do this, weeks, months. Through repeated sessions of her being listened to and loved, encouraged to find her inner gifts, what she's really about under the trauma, she begins to heal. They are all on land in nature. She has healthy food and fresh water there and no access to drugs. She is learning natural techniques for calming and centering, for reasoning. She is learning to mother herself, to father herself. When she finally leaves, she has a loving support system, not of professionals, but of those who helped her heal, who had all been through trauma and this same healing. It is this genuine one to one personal attention and Love that is really needed. ❤️
Nicely portrayed
BEAUTIFUL VISION and I agree!
Beautiful comment
🌹🌹🌹
Mark! Kristina’s story was heart wrenching. I can hear her cry for help within her tears. If anyone deserves the help for treatment, it’s her. I know that Amanda’s doctor Lima would be a great resource! I pray for Kristina. I can hear how much love she has for her family and children and if drugs weren’t in her life, I know how much love and kindness her heart would spread to all of her loved ones. 🥺❤️🙏🏽❤️🥺
Heartbreaking .. decriminalize, the guilt and shame is crippling! Best of luck to you Kristina. You are loved.
This poor lady reminds me of my mother. Her Mom was a bad drinker. She has cigarette burns, two stab wounds and a gunshot scar from a gun accidentally being fired in the house.
This hits home with me so much. I became an addict myself but I finally got myself clean (three years now) after a 20 years of being a poly-addict. The reason I love this channel so much is I don't feel so alone when I'm feeling broken.
Thank you for helping all these folks have a voice as well as from viewers like myself having a way of connecting with people through the power of story. Please keep up the amazing work.
Congratulations on your sobriety.😊💖
She seems genuinely remorseful for all the wrong she’s done. And I hope she’s able to find her way out of her addiction. I hope she’s able to get her life back together and hopefully she’ll be able to get the son that she sees back providing she does what she needs to do. I wish her nothing but the best, sending her love and light✨
Sending you the warmest hug ever..how l understand your kind spirit.. You were a Sweet Daughter with a HUGE HEART ❤...know that! You're beautiful and don't deserve the pain! NOT YOUR FAULT, Sweetheart
@@tomkeppler1717 I'm far from a Softy, Tom and l know where you're coming from. I don't doubt if she was at your house, AT BEST you'd find a few things missing, and you wouldn't have a minutes peace,etc..
Of course conscience and morals go out the window. You're not dealing with a "normal" person as far as that goes, unfortunately she was raised by WHO?? And suffered WHAT?? I still see her heart and l like her besides the fact that she's a mess. It's hard to retain that much LOVE in your heart through all that she's been through. No one is saying l'd want her as a roommate.
@@tomkeppler1717 I'm a homeless person who doesn't have a pot or a window, as the old expression goes but l will retain my compassionate nature through my shitty ( at this moment) life. It's just not as black and white as you make it, Tom. Why does it make me FAKE? I'm kinda flattered if l look like a bleeding heart liberal with all l've been through! Of course ld be fake if l didn't get where you're coming from,of COURSE l do!
She seems so nice, especially for what shes been through. She's only 35, there's time for her to get it together and I hope she does and finds help.
I have never commented on a video ever. I’m in recovery and have 3 1/2 years clean. I don’t say that because I’m proud of it. I say it because it’s possible. I’ve never wanted to hug anyone as much as I’ve wanted to hug her. I’m turning 41 tomorrow, and it’s a blessing. I work at a treatment facility and we give scholarships and have resources to get her the help she needs and wants. If there is anything I can do, and she is willing…reach out. I can feel her pain because I’ve been her. This video hit different. Damn.
Guys try and like his videos so the algorithm will pump it up and hopefully it won’t get demobilised! Mark deserves payment for his time!
The best thing about this channel is that it allows people to be heard. They want to be acknowledged, instead of feeling invisible.
I’d wager this beautiful soul would benefit greatly from a simple CNA job. Caregiver responsibility. Take care of someone who needs her and the drugs would slowly be less and less a part of her life. Hope all the best ❤️
@L Train45 your drug and her drug are both drugs. If one needs to come before the other it doesn’t matter the order. “Practicing physicians” use drugs everyday and you trust them to give you advice and help. No different
@@JE-tz4sh How can anyone who is addicted to drugs , and needs mental help. Focus on a job? They probably would want too , but if they have " bad days" last thing would want to donis jump out of bed and clean ass ( cna) i was one for 15 years. Worst job ever my back still kills me and low pay over worked. I loved my clients but the work is hard. Well, for me it was.
🤣🤣🤣do you even know how many CNAs use drugs?? Have you ever done the job? After being berated by staff and the patients and wiping asses all day for shitty pay you'll be wishing you had drugs.👌
@@sj9410 Sooooo many cna' s do drugs. Trust me. I work with them😂
She's got a very kind and empathetic personality, but healthcare jobs are pretty strict on background checks. If you have a criminal record of drugs, prostitution, theft, etc you can't get those type of jobs.
I love this channel so much! Most closed minded people would look at her and say "druggie" and say it was her choice and she deserves all the consequences from using. But this channel makes you realize, there is so much behind the drug use and not just "choosing to be a druggie".
I have watched a lot of these videos, and I've felt bad for every person. This one is the one that brought me to tears 😢. I feel so bad for her and hope she finds help
Yes. Her interview was extremely painful.😢
I agree. Her story touch me to the core. How do we help? I cried through her whole video.
I feel the same, I can feel her pain 💔
@@nolamclennan Remember her and help people like her.
@@marylougeorge9890 easy to say.. but specifically what can a person do. Remembering her feels like wishes and prayers. Tangibly.. what can we do, for her and for those like her in our own communities. What?
This was so hard to watch, her pain hit my heart hard. She’s hurting so much and needs help.
Yes.😢
I just watched it and it was hitting my heart to I hope she was able to get some help
This Story is another really sad one. Thank you god for letting me have two great parents and a good family life. Watching these videos, makes you put your life into perspective...
I love how just RAW your interviews are without judgment. Really makes you think about how small our problems are compared to the lost souls you interview. Makes you feel so small.
I broke down when she started talking about brushing her mom's hair. Bless her heart
Please mark if you ever speak to this lady tell her she is loved and cared about. Beautiful soul that deserves so much better. Thank you for giving thus wonderful human being a voice
This is the only video that has really affected me. It's hard to watch only because you can see how hurt she is and how bad she just needs a hug. Some love and (like she said) support. I hope she gets out of there some day
😢💔
I’m cheering for you, Kristina! Sending you a big hug. Tough times don’t last but tough people do. You have been through so much, it’s time for you to recover for yourself so you can find the peace you deserve. ❤️
She really is beautiful, and such a kind soul. I hope her babies get to see how much she loves them someday, and I really hope she’s able to find help that works for her.
She’s 35... damn those drugs have done her hard. I hope she gets the help she needs.
I think 53
@@kristinadonohue-prisby8588 I am guessing this is you in the video? If so - please ignore the rude/unnecessary comments. You are beautiful - I believe in you!
Damn what a back handed comment 🙄
@@anubisthacutest4752 not really. Just an observation on how she looks compared to how she really is. ☺️
So sad. One can see the little girl, begging for her mother to love her.
Thank you for letting these precious people tell their stories. My heart breaks so much for them. Please keep giving them a platform to have a voice!
It's never to late to turn your life around. I can feel your pain plz don't give up. Make an appt and get back on methadone. It can help u get stability back into your life then u can do the counseling and slowly wean off. You deserve a good life and there's so many ppl u can help your not a loser!
Absolutely, methadone would be ideal for her, along with therapy for her " childhood"
I love seeing the empathy from people who care. We need more of that around here. However, Methadone isn’t the only option - in fact, I would suggest if she’s going to go on MAT (medical assisted treatment) to go the Buprenorphine route. Methadone just gets you high so you’re basically trading one for another, but Bupe doesn’t. If she can get off the Xanax without MAT that would be ideal but regardless which route she takes, I hope she’s successful and able to be happy again. I hate watching anything/anyone suffer.
Amen prayers for her she is beautiful inside and out praying for health and happiness for all of ♥️💐
@@GraV21 actually I've been on methadone for 3yrs now I've gotten my life back I'm back in school and it has never gave me any feeling of being high now I say that everybody reacts different and if ppl use any other drug on top of methadone they will get high but with all MATs as long as you use them properly under a doctors order and go to therapy they can work there is such a stigma out there which needs to stop. Ppl need to become educated. I also don't believe u should remain on MAT for yrs I think once u r stable and living a productive life your making great headway and then I believe u should start decreasing your dosage. Just like any medication out there u should always safely wean off of. It's you are so right it's so awful watching ppl suffer I just pray they read our responds and know they do have ppl out here who care and are behind them cheering them on.
Amen. She's not a looser.💖
'May God Bless and keep Kristina'!!!!
My heart breaks for her.
She deserves better!
Prayers up for her!!!!
💜🙏💜
She cried the whole time she is hurting so much I felt her pain she needs help she deserves a chance at a better life. I will pray for her 🙏
My mother was a chronic alcoholic, unable to love, take care of her children. She commited a slow suicide over 25 years of hard drinking.She lost her job, her car, her children, her teeth, her dignity. She finally lost her life 2 weeks ago. I'm so glad she is finally free from her addiction and pain
I love that you do this! U treat everyone equal. And it’s shines light to the problem and educates people who don’t know and shows they are human to and have a heart n soul and just a normal human behind it all! SENDING LOVE FROM AUSTRALIA 🇦🇺 🐨 🦘 💕
Kristina has suffered a lot. I wish her the love and care she didn't receive in childhood, so she can live a happy and healthy life.
Xanax addiction can be brutal, I know first hand it almost destroyed my life
Same. I'm trying and yes, It Is brutal.
@@Miss_Wallace aye it’s a constant battle
Please be careful, and if you can seek some medical professional advice or let someone know that can monitor you so you are not alone-Benzodiazepines and alcohol withdrawal are the two substances withdrawal that can kill you/cause severe medical problems. Stay strong! Each day that passes is another day closer to freedom.
@@akoczurshaw thank you, been clean for just over a month now
@@akoczurshaw Is Ativan , the same?
I cried so hard listening to this. Kristina, girl, you are NOT a bad person. You are a survivor of so much trauma.
The answer to Mark's final question is gold.
'The most important lesson I've learned is that you don't need substances to make yourself happy. You just need people.'
Like damnnnnnnnnnnn mf'in mic drop close up shop & shit that's some truth right there to anyone who struggles with addiction
I just watched ads before this video started. So im doing my diligence and watching it, clicking on it, commenting on this video and liking it. (because of course I liked it lol). Human experience is fascinating to me and I appreciate you speaking to these ppl as I know alot of them dont get to tell their story.
I watch this channel from the start, 95 % of the woman Mark interviewed suffered some kind of abuse! Getting into this vicious circle of addiction, prostitution and self shaming! It is really sad! This exhausting life just destroyes them! Addiction is a gruesome sickness! Kristina is worth taking another chance! Love to you Kristina💜💜
At 12:00 when she said she doesn't even care if she ODs and the change in her voice, absolutely broke me.
What a poor soul who needs so much love& compassion.
Praying some day and one day she will find the happiness and light she deserves.
Broke my heart when she said I love myself, I think, I dont know.
"do you use all the drugs on the street?" "I know I'm a bad personnn." "No, I'm just asking not judging." 🙌 I'm growing so fond of you Mark! You did a great job comforting while guiding this interview... This poor girl. Xanax is my DOC, too. Numbness for the broken heart is my DOC. And how Kristina said she is numb from love, too. It's hard to be numb and happy... Does she love herself or are the drugs more important than her... Kristina, the drugs are actually an act of self love. It's a symptom. A way to cope to care for yourself, it is a maladaptive self love... Random thoughts. I'm learning and happy to be free of Xanax today. Still battling other addictions, but functioning, and learning how to feel. It isn't glamorous. I wish recovery and peace for Kristina. 🦋
You need your OWN SHOW ITS AMAZING
The saddest part is, this poor woman said that she does drugs because she doesn't want to feel, and yet she cried through the entire interview. She is in terrible pain.
Xanax is the devil! I started taking 1mg as needed 6 years ago. Now I routinely take 3mg a day just to control the anxiety rebound from not having the Xanax. I feel like I live my life around a calendar, counting pills and the days until I can re-up. I’m trying so hard to drop down to 2mg a day on my own. But I know this will take a long time to get me where I won’t feel the effects of not having it. I feel her pain and start crying anytime I try talking about my dependence. Prayers for her❤️
Sacred work as always Mark. I honor and love you. I love you too Kristina you are STILL doing good you havent given up!
Have you ever wanted to just give someone a hug so badly? I'm so sorry for your struggle. I hope you find peace one day
I cried like a baby when she said that her dad got clean and got back with her mom before she passed away and “one moment he was there”…
I wish this experience on everyone who lives through divorce and parental separation…
I just want to hugs Kristina so much. I don’t know why she touched me so much. 😭❤️
Same thing happened to me when I told my mom that my brother had molested me. I told her the night I brought my daughter home from the hospital. She was so precious I just lost it and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. I told my mom the same thing happened to my sister but my sister denied it till many years later. Fuck them! I haven’t spoken to my family in 4 years. It’s very hard not having a family. But I’m so afraid of “losing it” again and I just really got on my feet again.
This young lady pulled at my heartstrings more than many others. She seems so vulnerable and her emotions so raw. She can pull herself out of this hole with the right support system and intense therapy.
It is so sad that us addicts will do anything to not feel the pain. When I finally got clean after shooting meth 27 years it was so rewarding to be able to feel stuff process it then move on.
Her sweetness and intelligence is still intact even after all that suffering. I pray she gets the help she so desperately needs. I wish there was some way I could help her.
I wish she can see how worth it she is. She deserves a sober happy life❤
You can just see she has a beautiful personality. The smile and giggle that comes out occasionally is everything
This was a brutal one. I hope the best for her.
Oh god. Poor baby. I’m crying right with you Kristina. You are a good, good person and your suffering is worthy of all the compassion in the world. You are NOT a bad person. Everything you are going through, everything you went through is so valid. Anyone else would have resorted to drugs under the circumstances you were in, the things you were exposed to. I’m glad you realize the situations you and your sister were in should have NEVER HAPPENED! I think you are clouded by the abuse and neglect you faced as a child to really see it, so let me say it now as someone watching you and hearing you objectively - you are a good person, with a kind heart, plagued by terrible pain and trauma that should have never happened to you. You are remorseful, you care about your children’s feelings and have an overwhelming love for your son. You loved your mother and took joy in caring for her and getting her validation just like any other good hearted human being in the world. Just the fact that as soon as you came on here and were able to tell your story and you started breaking down immediately - what a burden you are carrying! I hope you can read this one day Kristina.
Wounded child. Heartbreaking. She’s still feeling guilty about a mother that was sick in so many ways. Common in ACOA’s. There’s nothing she could have done to change that. I hope she gets help. She is far from the bad person person feels she is.
Excellent comment!
My mom was also an alcoholic and died from liver cirrhosis when I was 14. Soon after, my dad left me. The pain is real. Hearing her talk about how beautiful her mom was despite everything and how close they were towards the end reminds me of my own relationship with my mother. No one deserves to be orphaned the way she was
This...she is screaming for help! She wants to change. She wants to get clean. If all 860 of us who've commented on this video donated $5 that would be a huge start to a good recovery program for her. She's so young still. This breaks my heart
Kristina you are not a bad person.It's heartbreaking to listen to your story. A mother's love is so important, the building blocks to developing and learning.Your mother burnt you with cigarettes yet you still loved her,
you yearned for her love. I sincerely hope you get help you seem such a loving person.