It seems to be you, in part. You seem very relaxed, and it seems to be contagious. I should think it could be difficult to maintain your calm. You must frequently be with him many times when he is on the verge. It is so good that you're sharing your experiences and growing wisdom. If you ever write a journal, I'd buy the published copy.
My son was just diagnosed with autism four years ago and I am still learning how to interact with him...I will say that I learn something new from him everyday...Thank you for your videos I am finding them extremely helpful...I feel like I am going through this by myself and have nowhere to turn...
@blackstarzero you are absolutely correct and i do understand. my son does the same thing and i sometimes have to re-remind myself that not only am i trying to understand his way of thinking, he also is trying to understand mine. You are in a position to help us to understand alot of how it feels to have aspergers. a key point i wish people would understand is that these are not tantrums that need discipline; they are meltdowns caused by fears. that is why discipline doesnt work.
@mom22many09 Mercury overload (in vaccines) and certain food additives contribute largely to why this epidemic grows more and more each decade. Not all vaccinated children develop autism, but many (especially Caucasian males) will.
I have a 16 year old with aspergers. My child was/is well-behaved and obeys,THE FIRST TIME! Because I set expectations for my child's behavior, just as I did for my other 4 children. Having a disability is bad enough, but ENABLING BAD BEHAVIOR only compounds their disability. The best gift I could give my child is teaching good behavior, to be polite and being obedient. he teachers constantly praise my child and bend over backwards to do things for my child because my child is easy to be with!
Sassy Green Garden Diva Productions Your A.C.E. (Artistic Culinary Enthusiast) That's what i call good parenting! Unfortunately 90% of these selfless" Do-Gooders" don't get it.
@21shasiti: What exactly IS normal? The only reason people think so negatively about people on the autistic spectrum are the people who do not know, understand or care. This is not a disease. It is a gift and a different way of thinking. You just have to figure out how to use it. I WAS born this way. I am proud of who I am and I would not change it... ever.
I have been dealing with this for 9 years & have found that punishment is like adding fuelto the fire! my child responds best if when he is having a meltdown i just wrap him in my arms until he calms down then explain to him why the behavior is inappropriate. the facts and details help him to understand what he can't understand for himself. he is a good kid & and a bright beautiful person. he is just not able to understand what is appropriate social behavior.
@gorramdoll I do agree with this- My 6 year old has Asperger's Syndrome and he gets very upset if I talk about him in front of him. She should respect him- all children deserve respect and that is how they will in turn learn respect.
My mom always gets upset when I get upset. Being assertive does not help either. The situation only worsens. I wish my mom could relax if she saw me crying. Saying "stop it" or "knock it off" does not work with me.
He seems perfectly comfortable when he's not listening to you. Honestly you don't seem quite right. Signed a mother of 5 and 1 with Aspergers. I would not allow my child to act like this.
@blackstarzero This is exactly right! these kids are not evil or manipulative! they are afraid or painfully uncomfortable with the situation. they need patience, compassion and FACTS. And they are way smarter than the jerks who post their negative, unimformed opinions!
My kindergarten teacher used to scream at me all the time and wondered why I wouldn't stop crying! HELLO?? I cried all the time because she was always screaming at me!!!
@TheAnonymousAspie Also- this is not about wanting people to feel sorry for us; it's about supporting each other. And you may be suprised if you knew what your parents went through raising you!
I like this video a lot. I wish my parents had known what was wrong with me when I was younger. My parents yelled a lot to discipline, and it was very distressing. I'm now 21, and they still yell sometimes. It's still distressing too. I agree with this mother on the way she deals with her son. If my parents would've been more like this, I think I might be less anxious and stressed out all the time. Don't get me wrong; I love my parents. I just think they could've handled things better.
I understand this mother. And yes the kid is there but he couldn't possibly care any less you see him get bored and walk/play on the notebook. When I seen him hitting is head all I could think is why is she not stopping him
Watching others with Aspergers make me look stupid.. I am 10 and have the condition.. I mean people poking their faces unaware their parents are just sitting their laughing at them.. People in my class treat me like i am mentally retarded.. I am intelligent but they treat me like the epileptic kid with the helmet.. What the hell is wrong?? Damn my aspergers.. Scared i am going to special ed..
risperidone... risperidone works very well. start with .5ml once at night. it works amazing on my 5 yr old with o.d.d., aspergers and sensory disorder. the risperidone is used as a sedative. the tantrums are from an overload of emotions which causes an anxiety attack fueling the reaction of a "meltdown"... risperidone is also used in people with Schizophrenia. my son listenes to my word and obeys our wishes and can interact in public as a normal child. he now uses the toilet. no more pullups.
when people realize you shouldn't treat a child different just because they have a symptom that makes them like this and start punishing them and thinking its so horrible to punish a child that has a symptom that makes them thing they get what they want.
@dogterd - Maybe it would have been helpful if you told others. Understanding is the first road to making the world a better place. I now tell people that I am so they don't have to expect things from me I can't deliver.
The causes of Asperger's Syndrome are neurological. The parents did not cause it. How many of know how to raise a child with those behavior differences? The people who are blaming the mom are being cruel, Google "Asperger's Syndrome" and educate yourselves instead of insulting the parents of Aspies!!
This is kind of funny but tragic at the same time. I wasn't diagnosed until I was a grown woman. I tell people now that you should NEVER spank your children and as a parent, try to explain to them what you want or why their behaviour is inappropriate. The reason why is because, for example, I grew up to believe that is was acceptable to hit when you didn't get your way (the same way my mother did with me). I hit no less than 10 people in my adult years until I taught MYSELF how to behave.
@angelsaura1 Do your homework! vaccines do not cause autism and I am so tired of hearing this crap! My sons condition was obvious before he even got his first vaccines. the studies have been done-get yourself up-to-date before commenting!
You know what? Most people don't have time, or they just plain don't know that there's information about Asperger's and the Autism Syndrome, as well as Autism, in general, and so many other individualities. I was a SPED Middle School teacher, and even with written information, and connecting - I always wished - with the student, it takes a while to begin to understand it.
I completely understand my son is autistic and his dad his papa and so many others tell me I baby him or cuddle him too much he doesn't want to be alone for long I have a hard time getting him to stay in his own bed and it seems the older he gets the worse it gets he still has meltdowns from time to time when he is over stimulated too much noise when he and his dad argue sometimes yes I'm frustrated especially when he won't listen to me and follow simple instructions like go wash your hands
Join us on Blog Talk Radio 7 23 10 @ 5:00pm - 6:00pm, as we talk about tantrums and a product that is supposed to stop these tantrums in 5 seconds. Tantrums can really wear a parent very thin, and we want to help! We'd love your input!
If I really wanted to study this, I'd take all the parents and guardians of children with this disorder and figure out what the fuck was wrong with THEM. I mean think about it. To pathologise a child in the modern manner requires the parent observing the 'problem' to first assume it has nothing to do with them, and THEN start asking questions.
@blackstarzero Well thank you, but perhaps in the future you could have a little more compassion with your comments. this is a very hard thing for a parent to accept and come to terms with and i have only learned what i have through trial and error. We are all just trying to understand our kids so that we can do what is needed to raise them to be self-sufficient, happy, responsible citizens..
It doesnt matter if your kid has asperger's, you shouldnt yell at them period. of course you punish them, ya know, timeout or something, but you shouldnt yell at kids.
I do have aspergers and have known a few people that have also had it, usually were easily distracted and we dont like large crowds, but I remeber acting all wierd when I was a kid and these days I would wonder why did I act like that again? I can tell you that as we get older it sort of goes away, the retardedness anyways, the social problems stay although i have learned to get along with others a bit more, infact most of the friends I have now dont know I have AS till I tell them
People we need to stop having any children until we KNOW what is causing 1 in 10 male children to be born with autism. We are we putting innocent children through this kind of life when we do not have too. Woud you like to be born like this? Is it really worth the odds of you getting a completely normal child??
@hugeshy - When you get big enough, pay her back. My mother taught me how to beat up others by doing what you're talking about. Just bide your time and give it back to her later.
i'd feel kinda bad being in the video for that long, cause i have AS. But, I'd like to get exposed to the world a little bit by being in the video. Maybe for only 10 seconds or so. 2 minutes and 43 seconds would kinda be weird. or maybe she could've put a picture of her son in the background while filming this on a photoset. Or she could've held a frame picture of him, but i like the photoset idea better.
I have aspergers and sometimes if my mum like gte cross if i have a tantrum or atleast wen u used to have tantrums nd she got cross or annoying it just uses to get worser so i whis some better ppl wod of given her some better advice x
@wowoak they can obey like non autistic kids can? if youve ever seen a kid do that ... please show me some evidence, because i sure as hell have never seen such a thing!
I'm not comparing an animal to a child, but certainly, if a dog, with no communications skills can be trained, so can a child, but only if you know how. Often times it is the parent who lacks the parenting skills. None of us were born to parent anymore than we were born to know how to drive a car, be a doctor, etc. Until you learn, you cannot apply good parenting. But so many are in denial about their lack of parenting skills. You're not a bad parent, rather one lacking the skill.
@TheAnonymousAspie EXCUSE ME!? Do you know this woman well enough to call her that? Perhaps, as in my case, "dad" couldn't handle it! I also am a "divorced" mom of a son with aspergers. weather you were raised right is debatable as it seems to me with your comments that you are STILL having meltdowns... And with kids like these, who has time for a social life? or time to coddle some man. . .
THIS IS HEARTBREAKING Can't you imagine how it feels to be that boy?! Here's a long list of things wrong with my son, how they make my life harder, and let's talk about me me me and not what my son goes through! Of course he hits himself in the head whenever she looks at him or even says "he" or "him." SHE'S DOING THIS TO HIM, IT'S NOT THE WAY HE WAS BORN. Fucking PSYCHOS. Why do people always assume the problem is with the fresh mind and not the stale, distorted parent?!
also, have your son tested for heavy metal content in his body. the main one to look for is LEAD. my doc believes it was due to a vaccine given to children at some time in their life. im sorry ma'am but, your son is not class "A" aspergers... he can hold the laptop just fine and doesnt look sloppy or messy or disruptive to your talking. walking around it just from no paddle on the ass. Im sorry but its true. my aspergers son has learned not to test daddy and he does fine on or off risperidone.
It seems to be you, in part. You seem very relaxed, and it seems to be contagious. I should think it could be difficult to maintain your calm. You must frequently be with him many times when he is on the verge. It is so good that you're sharing your experiences and growing wisdom. If you ever write a journal, I'd buy the published copy.
This kid knows how to work his mom well.
eos420 I see his little smile
My son was just diagnosed with autism four years ago and I am still learning how to interact with him...I will say that I learn something new from him everyday...Thank you for your videos I am finding them extremely helpful...I feel like I am going through this by myself and have nowhere to turn...
Thank you for posting this. My son has Aspergers,....I know all too well how very little people understand, especially the well meaning friends.
it's really cool that you are so understanding of how he feels when he is upset, but I wondered why you made this video with him there?
@blackstarzero you are absolutely correct and i do understand. my son does the same thing and i sometimes have to re-remind myself that not only am i trying to understand his way of thinking, he also is trying to understand mine. You are in a position to help us to understand alot of how it feels to have aspergers. a key point i wish people would understand is that these are not tantrums that need discipline; they are meltdowns caused by fears. that is why discipline doesnt work.
@mom22many09 Mercury overload (in vaccines) and certain food additives contribute largely to why this epidemic grows more and more each decade. Not all vaccinated children develop autism, but many (especially Caucasian males) will.
Kudos to this momma..It would be VERY hard not to get upset, mad, irritated...BUt you do it..awesome!! What a great mom!
Bravo!!!
I have a 16 year old with aspergers. My child was/is well-behaved and obeys,THE FIRST TIME! Because I set expectations for my child's behavior, just as I did for my other 4 children. Having a disability is bad enough, but ENABLING BAD BEHAVIOR only compounds their disability. The best gift I could give my child is teaching good behavior, to be polite and being obedient. he teachers constantly praise my child and bend over backwards to do things for my child because my child is easy to be with!
Sassy Green Garden Diva Productions Your A.C.E. (Artistic Culinary Enthusiast) That's what i call good parenting!
Unfortunately 90% of these selfless" Do-Gooders" don't get it.
@21shasiti: What exactly IS normal? The only reason people think so negatively about people on the autistic spectrum are the people who do not know, understand or care. This is not a disease. It is a gift and a different way of thinking. You just have to figure out how to use it. I WAS born this way. I am proud of who I am and I would not change it... ever.
I have been dealing with this for 9 years & have found that punishment is like adding fuelto the fire! my child responds best if when he is having a meltdown i just wrap him in my arms until he calms down then explain to him why the behavior is inappropriate. the facts and details help him to understand what he can't understand for himself. he is a good kid & and a bright beautiful person. he is just not able to understand what is appropriate social behavior.
@gorramdoll I do agree with this- My 6 year old has Asperger's Syndrome and he gets very upset if I talk about him in front of him. She should respect him- all children deserve respect and that is how they will in turn learn respect.
My mom always gets upset when I get upset. Being assertive does not help either. The situation only worsens. I wish my mom could relax if she saw me crying. Saying "stop it" or "knock it off" does not work with me.
i think you can relax mom and not worry so much, my advice is never allow bad behavior and do offer comfort during a tantrum or
He seems perfectly comfortable when he's not listening to you. Honestly you don't seem quite right. Signed a mother of 5 and 1 with Aspergers. I would not allow my child to act like this.
The kid isn't stupid. She shouldn't sit there and talk about him like that.
@blackstarzero This is exactly right! these kids are not evil or manipulative! they are afraid or painfully uncomfortable with the situation. they need patience, compassion and FACTS. And they are way smarter than the jerks who post their negative, unimformed opinions!
My kindergarten teacher used to scream at me all the time and wondered why I wouldn't stop crying! HELLO?? I cried all the time because she was always screaming at me!!!
@TheAnonymousAspie Also- this is not about wanting people to feel sorry for us; it's about supporting each other. And you may be suprised if you knew what your parents went through raising you!
I like this video a lot. I wish my parents had known what was wrong with me when I was younger. My parents yelled a lot to discipline, and it was very distressing. I'm now 21, and they still yell sometimes. It's still distressing too. I agree with this mother on the way she deals with her son. If my parents would've been more like this, I think I might be less anxious and stressed out all the time. Don't get me wrong; I love my parents. I just think they could've handled things better.
My nephew is autistic and when he USE to have tantrums he was DISCIPLINED. I guess people have different methods of handling an autistic child.
why do people think it's ok to scream and shout at other people? why is this normal?
don't be scared. that should be a better place than a regular school
@gamiezion i have plenty of evidence. my son. watch the Temple Grandin movie, it's great. another example of evidence!
I have aspergers I'm the same way as your son but my mom yells at me alot
I'm so sorry.
I understand this mother. And yes the kid is there but he couldn't possibly care any less you see him get bored and walk/play on the notebook. When I seen him hitting is head all I could think is why is she not stopping him
I would yell. Hell, yes I would.
@eos420 Totally!
Watching others with Aspergers make me look stupid..
I am 10 and have the condition.. I mean people poking their faces unaware their parents are just sitting their laughing at them..
People in my class treat me like i am mentally retarded..
I am intelligent but they treat me like the epileptic kid with the helmet.. What the hell is wrong?? Damn my aspergers..
Scared i am going to special ed..
risperidone...
risperidone works very well. start with .5ml once at night. it works amazing on my 5 yr old with o.d.d., aspergers and sensory disorder. the risperidone is used as a sedative. the tantrums are from an overload of emotions which causes an anxiety attack fueling the reaction of a "meltdown"... risperidone is also used in people with Schizophrenia. my son listenes to my word and obeys our wishes and can interact in public as a normal child. he now uses the toilet. no more pullups.
when people realize you shouldn't treat a child different just because they have a symptom that makes them like this and start punishing them and thinking its so horrible to punish a child that has a symptom that makes them thing they get what they want.
@wowoak exactly! :)
@dogterd - Maybe it would have been helpful if you told others. Understanding is the first road to making the world a better place. I now tell people that I am so they don't have to expect things from me I can't deliver.
The causes of Asperger's Syndrome are neurological. The parents did not cause it. How many of know how to raise a child with those behavior differences? The people who are blaming the mom are being cruel, Google "Asperger's Syndrome" and educate yourselves instead of insulting the parents of Aspies!!
If my mom did this I would flip a bitch! Lol how about interviewing yourself without the kid there and it wouldn't be as awkward or strange xD
I have Asperger's Syndrome I get yelled at
This is kind of funny but tragic at the same time. I wasn't diagnosed until I was a grown woman. I tell people now that you should NEVER spank your children and as a parent, try to explain to them what you want or why their behaviour is inappropriate. The reason why is because, for example, I grew up to believe that is was acceptable to hit when you didn't get your way (the same way my mother did with me). I hit no less than 10 people in my adult years until I taught MYSELF how to behave.
@gamiezion I would like to see this as well!
I don't even care what you said, I like you already!
@angelsaura1 Do your homework! vaccines do not cause autism and I am so tired of hearing this crap! My sons condition was obvious before he even got his first vaccines. the studies have been done-get yourself up-to-date before commenting!
You know what? Most people don't have time, or they just plain don't know that there's information about Asperger's and the Autism Syndrome, as well as Autism, in general, and so many other individualities. I was a SPED Middle School teacher, and even with written information, and connecting - I always wished - with the student, it takes a while to begin to understand it.
Why are you talking about him when he is sitting RIGHT there? Not ok
I completely understand my son is autistic and his dad his papa and so many others tell me I baby him or cuddle him too much he doesn't want to be alone for long I have a hard time getting him to stay in his own bed and it seems the older he gets the worse it gets he still has meltdowns from time to time when he is over stimulated too much noise when he and his dad argue sometimes yes I'm frustrated especially when he won't listen to me and follow simple instructions like go wash your hands
Join us on Blog Talk Radio 7 23 10 @ 5:00pm - 6:00pm, as we talk about tantrums and a product that is supposed to stop these tantrums in 5 seconds. Tantrums can really wear a parent very thin, and we want to help! We'd love your input!
If I really wanted to study this, I'd take all the parents and guardians of children with this disorder and figure out what the fuck was wrong with THEM.
I mean think about it. To pathologise a child in the modern manner requires the parent observing the 'problem' to first assume it has nothing to do with them, and THEN start asking questions.
@blackstarzero Well thank you, but perhaps in the future you could have a little more compassion with your comments. this is a very hard thing for a parent to accept and come to terms with and i have only learned what i have through trial and error. We are all just trying to understand our kids so that we can do what is needed to raise them to be self-sufficient, happy, responsible citizens..
do you not get it???
It doesnt matter if your kid has asperger's, you shouldnt yell at them period. of course you punish them, ya know, timeout or something, but you shouldnt yell at kids.
I do have aspergers and have known a few people that have also had it, usually were easily distracted and we dont like large crowds, but I remeber acting all wierd when I was a kid and these days I would wonder why did I act like that again? I can tell you that as we get older it sort of goes away, the retardedness anyways, the social problems stay although i have learned to get along with others a bit more, infact most of the friends I have now dont know I have AS till I tell them
People we need to stop having any children until we KNOW what is causing 1 in 10 male children to be born with autism. We are we putting innocent children through this kind of life when we do not have too. Woud you like to be born like this? Is it really worth the odds of you getting a completely normal child??
Can he talk?
Yes he just may not like to. Not being able to talk is not part of aspergers
Maybe he doesn't feel like it
@hugeshy - When you get big enough, pay her back. My mother taught me how to beat up others by doing what you're talking about. Just bide your time and give it back to her later.
i'd feel kinda bad being in the video for that long, cause i have AS. But, I'd like to get exposed to the world a little bit by being in the video. Maybe for only 10 seconds or so. 2 minutes and 43 seconds would kinda be weird. or maybe she could've put a picture of her son in the background while filming this on a photoset. Or she could've held a frame picture of him, but i like the photoset idea better.
that wont understand he is not worth it, u are better alone
@multisnootyreturns why are you talking about yourself here?
@blackstarzero UNINFORMED OPINIONS...obviously!
I have aspergers and sometimes if my mum like gte cross if i have a tantrum or atleast wen u used to have tantrums nd she got cross or annoying it just uses to get worser so i whis some better ppl wod of given her some better advice x
@wowoak they can obey like non autistic kids can?
if youve ever seen a kid do that ... please show me some evidence, because i sure as hell have never seen such a thing!
@jomdeluise I bet he can spell youre...
Just type in Mercury on the brain in youtube and check out the University of Calgary.
I'm not comparing an animal to a child, but certainly, if a dog, with no communications skills can be trained, so can a child, but only if you know how. Often times it is the parent who lacks the parenting skills. None of us were born to parent anymore than we were born to know how to drive a car, be a doctor, etc. Until you learn, you cannot apply good parenting. But so many are in denial about their lack of parenting skills. You're not a bad parent, rather one lacking the skill.
i've gotten into fights with other stupids who bullied me for my aspergers syndrome
@TheAnonymousAspie EXCUSE ME!? Do you know this woman well enough to call her that? Perhaps, as in my case, "dad" couldn't handle it! I also am a "divorced" mom of a son with aspergers. weather you were raised right is debatable as it seems to me with your comments that you are STILL having meltdowns... And with kids like these, who has time for a social life? or time to coddle some man. . .
*Sigh*
*Puff*
oh gosh murder is NOT part of aspergers. what makes you think that????
@washedmothafuka I bet he can spell youre...
i have asperger's and my mother yelling (more or less sceaming) at me and i seem to think it's the silliest thing, or the silliest times.
Still does. 16x worse than it was 4 years ago.
THIS IS HEARTBREAKING
Can't you imagine how it feels to be that boy?!
Here's a long list of things wrong with my son, how they make my life harder, and let's talk about me me me and not what my son goes through!
Of course he hits himself in the head whenever she looks at him or even says "he" or "him." SHE'S DOING THIS TO HIM, IT'S NOT THE WAY HE WAS BORN.
Fucking PSYCHOS. Why do people always assume the problem is with the fresh mind and not the stale, distorted parent?!
also, have your son tested for heavy metal content in his body. the main one to look for is LEAD. my doc believes it was due to a vaccine given to children at some time in their life.
im sorry ma'am but, your son is not class "A" aspergers... he can hold the laptop just fine and doesnt look sloppy or messy or disruptive to your talking. walking around it just from no paddle on the ass. Im sorry but its true. my aspergers son has learned not to test daddy and he does fine on or off risperidone.