I was deep into a 5 year addiction living in WV. Its so bad there. I pulled myself out of hell. I left that state and moved back to my hometown where I didn't know anyone who had drugs.. Was homeless,lost everything. I got sick & tired of being sick & tired. I am 2 months away from 3 years of being clean. I have a house,a beautiful car and a good job. I will never forget my past & still have hope for ppl I see on the street or in these videos.
Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So relatable. Glad you're on the other side! I'm a few months from 3 years myself. The best help I ever had was from those who didn't try to understand or look for reasons why, but would be there when I needed them. Respect always.
I’ve been clean for seven years now and I know how hard it was!! But I really feel bad for kids and people that do dope!! Especially with this Fentanyl that’s even harder to kick than heroin ! Fentanyl was just starting to come out when I got clean, I’m glad that I didn’t have to experience it!!!🤟❤️
Amen to that. I think some folk, like myself for instance who don't plan on ever having children and I'm not in the lives of sister's so their kids will never know me. I will too, be forgotten as once I pass away I'll have family that maybe talked to me ten times in our entire time as family members. In my family especially on my biological father's side the Males are loners. We went off to war. Although we were with people and after the wars the ones who were functional had families and most just drifted. Made a life for ourselves - something always fucked up either I did something or just bad circumstances a relationship would.end and I'd just leave either somewjere new or.back home. I even have an EVP from a 20-125 spirit box session where a female spirit actually speaks in real time as the radio is cycling so fast "We're the Forgotten." Check the vid.out.on.my.channel. Set your playback speed to 0.5 secs so the speed.slower.and there should be a timestamp iin the Description of the vid or.in the comments.
One of the main reasons I’m subscribed to this channel is the Honesty & real talk that happens during these interviews-I don’t use drugs or drink anymore but have a great understanding of the majority of the people interviewed.Thanks for your time and work you put in for this channel.
Mark, you hit the nail on the head when you said 'everybody draws a line'. That is so true, some of us may have smoked weed and taken mushrooms, but would never touch meth or heroin or crack. Some people have the ability to draw a line and some people don't.
Everyone draws lines they won't cross, but at the end of the day lines are scratch marks in the dirt. I'll drink but I won't do grass. I'll do grass but I won't take pills. I'll try a pill, but I'll never do a line. I'll smoke heroin but I'd never inject. On and on it goes until you are sitting on a stool being interviewed by Mark. Life is so fragile and its so easy to end up like this guy. Why even fucking chance it?
@@alw_9911 "Its different for everyone..." Ah, Addicts Lie #1. Every addict (present and pending), tells themselves what tripped up others won't trip up them. They are in control. They have discipline. They have self control. They have standards. I know Sesame Street told you that you are special and different, and you aren't. Your are just like everyone else and just as prone to error and failure as your brother is/was. Dance on the cliff's edge if you want to, but don't tell yourself that the law of gravity doesn't apply to you.
@@Waltham1892 lol i never said it didn’t apply to me, but every person is different. some are able to just smoke, just drink, whatever. some people do turn into addicts, it DEPENDS, nobody wants to be an addict. it happens unintentionally, but choosing to take harder drugs is intentional, and that is not a line i am willing to cross, especially seeing what it can do.
Benny! U say theres nothing left but to sit and waste away...but u have a daughter!! U are a well of wisdom, knowledge, and experience. U can turn it around for her amd you should! You could teach her a lot and provide much needed support! My Dad passed when I was 8 from addiction and still theres not a day goes by i wish i could have known him.
Maybe he's thinking of her....by staying away. Especially when your honest with yourself and you know you don't want to teach your only child your way of life.... because what else is she gonna see.😔
@@rainystormcloud7499 this is true. cant really argue there. id like to think, ideally,having a kid is enough to make ones life and sobriety worth it. still hard to accept that it just isnt. if he knows deep inside hes not gonna turn it around, perhaps it is better to stay away. very sad.
The hopes and dreams of his parents, working to have a home and give their kids a childhood with loving memories. And the potential of his brothers, sisters and Benny himself.... So much sunshine and sadness here. So sorry for his losses.
Hands down, one of the saddest interviews I’ve watched. Benny, you still have a whole life ahead of you. It’s not too late to crawl out of that dark place. Praying for your happiness ♥️
Yes!! More West Virginia interviews!? This one is extra sad for some reason..💔 Thanks for giving these people a voice Mark. So 💔 to see entire families destroyed over drugs.
These people are my neighbors. I watched some of the wild action for over 20 years. As kids we would sneak up the holler just to go back to our buddies and brag that we survived. The Washingtons are known all over the county. The Wild and Wonderful Washingtons of West Virginia. The Whites cannot compete. His dad grows one of the best vegetable gardens you will ever see.
@@Goregirl08 Yes, I watched that one. I just can't imagine loosing your entire family to drugs. I live in Appalachian. Not as remote as WV. We have a drug problem as does most of America right now. But this story is one of the worst I have heard of.
For me, alcohol was my first drug. I stole sips from my dad all the time. Weed came MUCH later. I still consider it a good drug that has been villainized in the US until recently. Hope this man has better karma coming soon. Great interview. Hope everyone reading this has a good day today. Do something nice for someone, no matter how little it is.
Benny has fortitude, and honesty, and sufficient conscience to feel trauma for the things he has done to others as well as for the things that have happened to him. He expresses regret and sadness, but no self pity or blame.
The Appalachian series are my favorite. I am Appalachian. I know the epidemic of drugs. Benny, I am praying for you. You have been through so much and in most eyes, should have died. You are living for a reason. Use your time. I hope you escape drugs.....you could help so many others escape too. Your interview is genuine. Here is a virtual hug!!!
Yes he is right all the old timers are passing away (just lost my grandma at 84) I'm 42 now and a lot of my older family members are gone, just doesn't seem the same anymore. Holidays use to be filled up 20 plus people but now...I guess I wasn't prepared. Great interview
@@stevenf7752 IKR I guess its our time to keep the tradition going..but back then they had 10 plus children and now days its mainly 2 kids per household
I'm 31 and I feel your exact pain. I remember holiday gatherings as these massive, exciting parties with SO MANY friends and family there. Now most of us are dead. The only new young child in the family is my 8 year old daughter. Less than ten of us show up on a good year. People just don't or can't have as many kids as they used to, and as a result we dwindle. Plus I'm Roma so countless bloodlines got rounded up and killed during WWII. We're all a dying breed. But enjoy the time you have with those you love 💕 that's all we can do.
That's a lot that you are carrying around Benny. You have some kick ass angels looking after you! I really hope things take a different path and you can have as much happiness as the amount of pain you already know. The birdsong during this whole interview brings soo much peace and joy.
“I have a cell phone and don’t think it’s ever rings” 💔 Stay strong Benny, you’ve been through a lot and to be here to tell it means you’re suppose to be here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.
Mark thank you for spreading out the map and doing more of these interviews in rural areas . They all are interesting but these Appalachian interviews weigh heavy on my heart and spread great messages to people all around the world
Much respect to him. We may not know everything that has happened, but the way he lays himself bare is astonishing. He has had to grapple with some real hard sh:t. My family lost our farm to addiction. Nothing more heartbreaking after you see generations put their lives' work and emotions into something that was the center of our identities.
Powerful message from someone who’s old enough to know and yet still can’t shake the drugs. Very telling about what it’s like to suffer from addiction and how easily a person can slip into it.
Such raw sincere honesty. I pray he finds happiness and defeats his demon's. Life is a big waiting room.. what you do while you wait will determine your destiny.
@@elleg3651 You make choices when you are a young person without realizing it changes the very chemistry and neural pathways of your brain forever. The choices you make thereafter are dictate by it. You might think you have free will but it is not as clear cut it's been proven that the brain makes decisions before we are even consciously aware of it, it is a bit more complicated than just not wanting to make the right choices.
I'm the mother to his Daughter and he was a great dad right up till she was 4-5. You're right he made a choice, he did tried to be a father but the drugs wouldn't allow it. I was forced by his decisions that he made to keep our daughter safe at all cost. I watch my daughter hurt everyday, she sees an ambulance she panics thinking its him overdosing. I watched her sit at the hospital holding his hand while he was on life support after losing his leg. As a mother I drew the line and he kept crossing it so I did what any good parent would do,I stopped her from being around him.I just pray he gets the help he needs and get clean for himself and his daughter. Addiction affects the whole family and it definitely doesn't discriminate. Compassion and empathy ppl, not one addict wakes up and days today is the day I choose to lose everything to addiction.
Sadly, he made the choice of drugs before his child and then he reframed the story as if he didn’t want to show her the life of drugs so he didn’t see her. Such a virtuous addict, but the daughter is the one who pays for his decisions.
Check out "The Enneagram of Personality Types". Your reflection is very "Type 4". I'm a type 4. There's a lot of insight into oneself and others in the material
@@amaliadonastorg4173 no 'he is right n it makes u so much more caring n understanding not to mention open minded n not as opinionated as some 'not mentioning any names.
@@davechristian7543 to put it bluntly. I don’t think there is any beauty in being a heroin addict. With that being said people can see beauty in serial killer documentaries. Being open minded is one thing. Doesn’t make drug addiction beautiful.
Unfortunately karma is a bitch. It’s not my place to judge, however behind all his actions that he has regret for, there clearly were victims. People that bear the scars of his actions.
I truly love how the interview is almost kinda like a counseling session (I know it's not) but still, it's nice to see and hear somebody vent so much off their chest.
Benny may have done some terrible things in his life that keep him up at night, but deep down I truly believe he is a good person with a deeply caring heart. My hope for him is that he may meet a wonderful woman who is perfect for him, maybe someone who is in recovery herself and that they can live the rest of their days on the family property. Maybe attending AA meetings together, or getting into a methadone program. He could build a relationship with his daughter and she could come visit every summer.
This is incredible. Cannot begin to understand what this man has been through. I truly hope he can find joy again in his life, without substance… He says “seems like I’ve made all the wrong ones,” in regards to choices. Luckily, he still has life in him, and time to alter the upcoming choices he’ll soon have to make. Man seems like a great individual, I only wish the best for him.
Oh Benny, this was really heart wrenching. I feel weird making observations that you may read later and I feel weird speaking to you directly. The pain in your voice, in your chest, is so clear. I am just so sorry for whatever the things were that made you so sad. No one deserves that. I wish you some good things ahead.
I am a recovering drug addict/ alcoholic. I’ve been sober over 30 years. I didn’t know I had crossed that invisible line until I was way past it . And then I couldn’t just cross over again because the addiction had a hold on me. I did all of those things I said I would never do. And became the woman I was never going to be. Thank God for the recovery community. It gave me a second chance at life.
I totally get what you mean about the invisible line. I fully understand what you mean. That you have put such distance between your active addiction and where you are now is just wonderful, so well done Cindy. I wish you every happiness.
As a female with an addiction with we has additional invisible lines we cross sleeping with men for drugs pretending to be a gf for drugs or selling so we can buy our drugs thank God im sober 10+ yrs I quit at home it was hard but I did it
This one hit me different. The way he speaks and the words come out are sonically sad,& extremely real. the simple yet deep way he says things and paints a picture for you is chillingly lonely and empty . I wish the best for this guy as a former heroin user myself
Mark, I hope you never stop doing these interviews. You give people that have been beaten down, and suffered so many losses too, the chance to tell their story. It is often from that place of “telling” that healing begins. I hope Benny gets clean. I do believe he’s here still for a reason.
Heartbreaking. I know his pain and lost everyone, from friends in the same life as me shooting coke and heroin, to my parents and grandparents from other issues. He has the look In his eyes that he's exhausted from what he's been through, without even expressing words. As someone else in the comments said, if only he could see his potential. Everything happens for a reason, and we don't end up where we do in life and death without reason. Whether we understand it or not. If this man could save just one life with his story and experiences... we need to share these stories, and Mark is amazing for giving voices to our fellow men and women.
it passed three minutes of this interview and I am close to cry. it's amazing how strong this brothers love is. I am the only child with sad parents and it's the shittest thing in the world. have a good day and life all of you out there c:
This is the Saddest interview I’ve seen on your channel- Benny my heart goes out to you and I feel your pain bud I relate to a lot of things you said . I pray for the light to come to your life . You couldn’t Of said it any better that was raw and uncut and I truly believe you just changed a lot of peoples life and there perception of it . Thank you for having the courage to share your story . God bless you brother
Hey Mark thanks for shedding some light on the West Virginia community. I’m from the northeastern part of WV and have been lucky enough to live a good life here and go to college, but i see first hand every day what it’s like for the less fortunate residents around me. The people here are genuine and kind. We just haven’t been dealt the best hand when it comes to the opioid crisis. I remember when i lived in Huntington, seeing an overdose a couple blocks away from my apartment was the norm. Yet i’m surrounded by beautiful mountains and wildlife. The thing is, no one truly understands what WV is like unless they’ve lived here. It straight up feels like a simulation.
My heart breaks when he says he doesn’t care if he goes (too), that he has nothing to live for.. I hope he is able to find peace and healing after all he has been through. His story truly makes me so sad..
Mark - thank you. My favorite question you ask is “what type of emotions do you go through.” It is such a humanizing question. It makes the people you interview relatable to all of us. They’re people just trying to survive and get by in the same world we all live in.
Appalachian people are some of the most downtrodden, yet resilient (and resourceful!) people I’ve ever encountered. I hope Benny finds the comfort he seeks, and finds the strength to get sober. We believe in ya buddy, I’ve got seven years sober from a 15 year heroin/opiate addiction. Keep your head up and take it one day at a time! Much ♥️ from Southern Illinois.
"Nothing left beside just to sit and fade away" You are a strong person, I believe you still get your life and family together,thank you for the advice, greetings from Morocco
Benny hang in there for you're daughter. She is worth living for. You have been through so much brother. I'm praying for you to receive strength to push through. God bless you and you're Dad Benny
You got a lot of people out here rooting for you. I hope you can grieve and move forward and be there for your dad and daughter. You still deserve a new lease on life and some happiness. It’s out there waiting for you. 🖤
"I have a cell phone and I don't thing its ever rang" Damn. That is so sad. His whole family is gone, addicts never have real friends, so he really is all alone. Most of us don't know what we have until its gone.
Through tears I am praying for you Benny. I understand depression and loneliness and though I never got into drugs or alcohol I have ruined my life in other ways. There is a hope at the end of the tunnel and talking about it to someone is the first step to get it off your chest. I hope that someone who sees this video can actually help you in a meaningful way. God bless you.
The paiin is his voice when he says hes lost his whole family to violence and drugs broke my heart. All of these people in these interviews are good underneath their issues, and I just wish more people would care and show them the love and support they deserve.
Benny, I got sober at 53 after many many years of blackout drinking. I am the most weak willed person on the planet, so if I can do it you can. You have a little one to live for. Let her be your motivator. Once you get sober you'll find you have a lot to live for, many reasons to go on. Healing is hard,but it gets easier as time goes by, and it is truly liberating when you're no longer a slave to your addiction. Praying for you.
I am sooo sorry that your life has been so difficult. I truly hope u can find the strength to get help. Apply what you learn and make the changes needed to get the life u want. I believe in u.
This was unexpectantly inspirational for me. I get stressed out about first-world luxury problems and this man wakes up every day with that history and just lives on through. Respect.
I don’t even know this man and I love him so much. He just needs someone. Someone to regularly call him, check up on him, be there for him, be a good influence on him, and want something better for him. I wish I could help this man or even talk to him. Poor soul ❤️
I was deep into a 5 year addiction living in WV. Its so bad there. I pulled myself out of hell. I left that state and moved back to my hometown where I didn't know anyone who had drugs.. Was homeless,lost everything. I got sick & tired of being sick & tired. I am 2 months away from 3 years of being clean. I have a house,a beautiful car and a good job. I will never forget my past & still have hope for ppl I see on the street or in these videos.
Very proud of you & so happy for you & your new life. 🖤 wishing a beautiful future for you
Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So relatable. Glad you're on the other side! I'm a few months from 3 years myself. The best help I ever had was from those who didn't try to understand or look for reasons why, but would be there when I needed them.
Respect always.
I’ve been clean for seven years now and I know how hard it was!! But I really feel bad for kids and people that do dope!! Especially with this Fentanyl that’s even harder to kick than heroin ! Fentanyl was just starting to come out when I got clean, I’m glad that I didn’t have to experience it!!!🤟❤️
Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So original, never heard that one before
@@rayburn8282 Never..??
I'd like to believe each of these interviews saves at least one life if not many.
Agree!!! 👏👏👏
They help me.
Better words about Mark's videos have not been said.
Definitely.
As a recovering addict I find these interviews very helpful in keeping sober and moving forward.
Mark come to San Antonio!!!
It broke my heart when he said: "I have a cell phone and I dont think it ever rings"
Maybe its on silent
@@JamesC00 ...not funny
You could say that for all of us
Oh gosh; this tore me to pieces too. I can't imagine life without a single person to have hope will care about me.
@@matteojosue8041 It could be.
These middle of nowhere videos are the best!!! I love all the nature looks and sounds in the background!!! Love ur work Mark!❤️
Thank you Mark for sharing the stories of these often forgotten souls
Amen to that. I think some folk, like myself for instance who don't plan on ever having children and I'm not in the lives of sister's so their kids will never know me. I will too, be forgotten as once I pass away I'll have family that maybe talked to me ten times in our entire time as family members. In my family especially on my biological father's side the Males are loners. We went off to war. Although we were with people and after the wars the ones who were functional had families and most just drifted. Made a life for ourselves - something always fucked up either I did something or just bad circumstances a relationship would.end and I'd just leave either somewjere new or.back home. I even have an EVP from a 20-125 spirit box session where a female spirit actually speaks in real time as the radio is cycling so fast "We're the Forgotten."
Check the vid.out.on.my.channel. Set your playback speed to 0.5 secs so the speed.slower.and there should be a timestamp iin the Description of the vid or.in the comments.
He is doing amazing work with these.
One of the main reasons I’m subscribed to this channel is the Honesty & real talk that happens during these interviews-I don’t use drugs or drink anymore but have a great understanding of the majority of the people interviewed.Thanks for your time and work you put in for this channel.
Mark, you hit the nail on the head when you said 'everybody draws a line'.
That is so true, some of us may have smoked weed and taken mushrooms, but would never touch meth or heroin or crack.
Some people have the ability to draw a line and some people don't.
So true..
I'm a "line drawer" 👍
Everyone draws lines they won't cross, but at the end of the day lines are scratch marks in the dirt.
I'll drink but I won't do grass. I'll do grass but I won't take pills. I'll try a pill, but I'll never do a line. I'll smoke heroin but I'd never inject. On and on it goes until you are sitting on a stool being interviewed by Mark.
Life is so fragile and its so easy to end up like this guy. Why even fucking chance it?
@@alw_9911 "Its different for everyone..."
Ah, Addicts Lie #1.
Every addict (present and pending), tells themselves what tripped up others won't trip up them. They are in control. They have discipline. They have self control. They have standards.
I know Sesame Street told you that you are special and different, and you aren't. Your are just like everyone else and just as prone to error and failure as your brother is/was.
Dance on the cliff's edge if you want to, but don't tell yourself that the law of gravity doesn't apply to you.
@@Waltham1892 lol i never said it didn’t apply to me, but every person is different. some are able to just smoke, just drink, whatever. some people do turn into addicts, it DEPENDS, nobody wants to be an addict. it happens unintentionally, but choosing to take harder drugs is intentional, and that is not a line i am willing to cross, especially seeing what it can do.
Benny! U say theres nothing left but to sit and waste away...but u have a daughter!! U are a well of wisdom, knowledge, and experience. U can turn it around for her amd you should! You could teach her a lot and provide much needed support! My Dad passed when I was 8 from addiction and still theres not a day goes by i wish i could have known him.
Maybe he's thinking of her....by staying away.
Especially when your honest with yourself and you know you don't want to teach your only child your way of life.... because what else is she gonna see.😔
@@rainystormcloud7499 this is true. cant really argue there. id like to think, ideally,having a kid is enough to make ones life and sobriety worth it. still hard to accept that it just isnt. if he knows deep inside hes not gonna turn it around, perhaps it is better to stay away. very sad.
The hopes and dreams of his parents, working to have a home and give their kids a childhood with loving memories. And the potential of his brothers, sisters and Benny himself.... So much sunshine and sadness here. So sorry for his losses.
Hands down, one of the saddest interviews I’ve watched. Benny, you still have a whole life ahead of you. It’s not too late to crawl out of that dark place. Praying for your happiness ♥️
Patricia, you're very beautiful.
“You gotta be stronger than the drug you’re doing.”
That’s actually very good wisdom.
that doesn't exist
Wow that's actually great. I swear I'm going to use that. You should too if your reading this. It could help somebody.
Do as your parents work the farm get people that need to stop like you and all get clean to help.. .. if it were that easy... stay strong..
Way way easier said than done. It sounds good but that's all really tbh
@@jakedaum2294 You’re overwhelmingly right but I think it’s still a potentially valuable thing to share.
Yes!! More West Virginia interviews!? This one is extra sad for some reason..💔 Thanks for giving these people a voice Mark. So 💔 to see entire families destroyed over drugs.
I was loaded for 24 yrs. I been clean for 26 yrs. I'm so grateful for who I am now. I will pray for you brother.
These people are my neighbors. I watched some of the wild action for over 20 years. As kids we would sneak up the holler just to go back to our buddies and brag that we survived. The Washingtons are known all over the county. The Wild and Wonderful Washingtons of West Virginia. The Whites cannot compete. His dad grows one of the best vegetable gardens you will ever see.
It seems as if they had great parents. What do you think happened to this family? This is one of the saddest stories I have heard.
@@eswatzell44 Bennys dad was recently interviewed by mark here on the channel
@@Goregirl08 Yes, I watched that one. I just can't imagine loosing your entire family to drugs. I live in Appalachian. Not as remote as WV. We have a drug problem as does most of America right now. But this story is one of the worst I have heard of.
Which interview is his dad?
@@glory2hisname1 th-cam.com/video/2rlLpopPSuE/w-d-xo.html
For me, alcohol was my first drug. I stole sips from my dad all the time. Weed came MUCH later. I still consider it a good drug that has been villainized in the US until recently.
Hope this man has better karma coming soon. Great interview.
Hope everyone reading this has a good day today. Do something nice for someone, no matter how little it is.
Phew! Of all the stories, for me, this was the saddest
Benny has fortitude, and honesty, and sufficient conscience to feel trauma for the things he has done to others as well as for the things that have happened to him. He expresses regret and sadness, but no self pity or blame.
The Appalachian series are my favorite. I am Appalachian. I know the epidemic of drugs. Benny, I am praying for you. You have been through so much and in most eyes, should have died. You are living for a reason. Use your time. I hope you escape drugs.....you could help so many others escape too. Your interview is genuine. Here is a virtual hug!!!
"Out of tears" - difficult place to be. Hoping that he's able to turn his life around
I know him personally. He won't turn his life around
@@EPICxGAMEPLAY Yah, right. He's your 4th cousin twice removed on your mom's side
@@EPICxGAMEPLAY you don't know that.
@@EPICxGAMEPLAY who are you???
@@marylougeorge9890 ...hahaha,thanks! I needed that laugh😅🤣
Yes he is right all the old timers are passing away (just lost my grandma at 84) I'm 42 now and a lot of my older family members are gone, just doesn't seem the same anymore. Holidays use to be filled up 20 plus people but now...I guess I wasn't prepared. Great interview
I feel you. I feel the same way. I'm 39 and things are totally different for me to with all the family that's either moved away or passed away
@@stevenf7752 IKR I guess its our time to keep the tradition going..but back then they had 10 plus children and now days its mainly 2 kids per household
I'm 42 myself and can totally relate. Life's not what it used to be.
@@arthurradley4423 Yes I miss it
I'm 31 and I feel your exact pain. I remember holiday gatherings as these massive, exciting parties with SO MANY friends and family there. Now most of us are dead. The only new young child in the family is my 8 year old daughter. Less than ten of us show up on a good year. People just don't or can't have as many kids as they used to, and as a result we dwindle. Plus I'm Roma so countless bloodlines got rounded up and killed during WWII. We're all a dying breed. But enjoy the time you have with those you love 💕 that's all we can do.
It’s not too late brother! 50 years young isn’t the end. Life has been hard but it isn’t over. Only if you let it be. Peace and love.🙏🏻👍🏻✌🏻
Benny I wish you the best. You are very intelligent and well spoken. You can beat this.
Well spoken and intelligent ?
@@cansee0 it is simply my opinion , he did well telling his story compared to others and like he said he could’ve been anything.
@@cansee0 he is definitely thoughtful. He understands the patterns of life now that he's older.
I find the West Virginia interviews so interesting. Benny has lead an interesting , hard life . Nice man , please get well Benny .
Nothing interesting about being in the joint.
I love West Virginia interviews!!!! Please please keep them coming.
That's a lot that you are carrying around Benny. You have some kick ass angels looking after you!
I really hope things take a different path and you can have as much happiness as the amount of pain you already know.
The birdsong during this whole interview brings soo much peace and joy.
The way it’s recorded outside feels real and raw ! I like the way this video came out.
Yeah, I felt the same about that
“ You got to be stronger then the drug your doing” that’s a great quote I will remember that one
These videos never get old. You can learn so much from a person who’s willing to tell their story
“I have a cell phone and don’t think it’s ever rings” 💔
Stay strong Benny, you’ve been through a lot and to be here to tell it means you’re suppose to be here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.
Same here but u don't see me bangin heroin
@@gurumayne8684 how many times are you gonna say that
@@dirtylanedane5925 until mfrs stop shooting poison
The Appalachian interviews always seem so much more interesting than the others.
Honesty is the difference.
I feel for this guy. He is such a likable guy. God bless you, sir.
I hope he reads your comment..you are likable sir.
Exactly. He isn't full of excuses like many addicts. I hope he gets off drugs.
I couldn't cry when my mom passed. It took about a year. Then I cried every day. It is a severe manic depression that you are experiencing.
Mark thank you for spreading out the map and doing more of these interviews in rural areas . They all are interesting but these Appalachian interviews weigh heavy on my heart and spread great messages to people all around the world
This gentleman breaks my heart. Exact same age and so involved in the drugs. I am a recovered drug addict. 4 years 7-7. He can do it!!
Good on YOU Lorena Rae! Keep telling it out there. And keep working your program. Damn proud of you.
that is awesome Lorena 🥰
Congrats on your sobriety! I hope all is well with you. Hopefully Benny here can form the same path
Your daughter needs you, Benny, please don't give up.
Amazing interview what an interesting honest man.
Much respect to him. We may not know everything that has happened, but the way he lays himself bare is astonishing. He has had to grapple with some real hard sh:t. My family lost our farm to addiction. Nothing more heartbreaking after you see generations put their lives' work and emotions into something that was the center of our identities.
Thank you Benny for sharing your story. It's not too late. You could be an amazing addiction counselor. It's not too late.
Powerful message from someone who’s old enough to know and yet still can’t shake the drugs. Very telling about what it’s like to suffer from addiction and how easily a person can slip into it.
So sad 😞 imagine not having anyone. Wow, 50 years old. My heart goes out to him, his father, and daughter.
He has a daughter, he chose heroin over his own kid, he chooses to be alone
Thanks Mark this was a really good interview.
Such raw sincere honesty. I pray he finds happiness and defeats his demon's. Life is a big waiting room.. what you do while you wait will determine your destiny.
Panged hurt when he said that he'd raised his daughter till she was 5. Letting her go....that's tough.
It wasn't that tough. He made choices .
@@elleg3651 You make choices when you are a young person without realizing it changes the very chemistry and neural pathways of your brain forever. The choices you make thereafter are dictate by it. You might think you have free will but it is not as clear cut it's been proven that the brain makes decisions before we are even consciously aware of it, it is a bit more complicated than just not wanting to make the right choices.
I'm the mother to his Daughter and he was a great dad right up till she was 4-5. You're right he made a choice, he did tried to be a father but the drugs wouldn't allow it. I was forced by his decisions that he made to keep our daughter safe at all cost. I watch my daughter hurt everyday, she sees an ambulance she panics thinking its him overdosing. I watched her sit at the hospital holding his hand while he was on life support after losing his leg. As a mother I drew the line and he kept crossing it so I did what any good parent would do,I stopped her from being around him.I just pray he gets the help he needs and get clean for himself and his daughter. Addiction affects the whole family and it definitely doesn't discriminate. Compassion and empathy ppl, not one addict wakes up and days today is the day I choose to lose everything to addiction.
@Art Chave thank you 🙏🏻❣🙏🏻
Sadly, he made the choice of drugs before his child and then he reframed the story as if he didn’t want to show her the life of drugs so he didn’t see her. Such a virtuous addict, but the daughter is the one who pays for his decisions.
when a life story is soo poetic and it's like a movie, there's somuch beauty in pain, as sad as that sounds.
I think you may be romanticizing his pain...
Check out "The Enneagram of Personality Types". Your reflection is very "Type 4". I'm a type 4. There's a lot of insight into oneself and others in the material
@@amaliadonastorg4173 no 'he is right n it makes u so much more caring n understanding not to mention open minded n not as opinionated as some 'not mentioning any names.
Absolutely..
@@davechristian7543 to put it bluntly. I don’t think there is any beauty in being a heroin addict. With that being said people can see beauty in serial killer documentaries. Being open minded is one thing. Doesn’t make drug addiction beautiful.
Damn I hate this for him. His heart hurts from regret and you can feel how deeply sorry he is for the things he has done
Forgiveness starts with him first. He needs to let himself off the hook. Give himself grace. We all make mistakes.
Unfortunately karma is a bitch. It’s not my place to judge, however behind all his actions that he has regret for, there clearly were victims. People that bear the scars of his actions.
@@BVonBuescher There's no such thing as karma. Things simply happen to people, good or bad, "karma" has nothing to do with it.
I truly love how the interview is almost kinda like a counseling session (I know it's not) but still, it's nice to see and hear somebody vent so much off their chest.
Benny may have done some terrible things in his life that keep him up at night, but deep down I truly believe he is a good person with a deeply caring heart.
My hope for him is that he may meet a wonderful woman who is perfect for him, maybe someone who is in recovery herself and that they can live the rest of their days on the family property. Maybe attending AA meetings together, or getting into a methadone program. He could build a relationship with his daughter and she could come visit every summer.
He's overdosed 5 times, he won't be around that much longer
"I was born in 1971." He is not a baby boomer, but a Gen Xer. I wish him wellness and peace for the remainder of his life.
Great interview Mark, nice work. Wish more interviewers would let the subject talk like you do.
I have to be honest , it is refreshing to see an interview of people not living on Skid Row .
13:30 just makes me want to reach out and give this guy a hug! Loved the interview being outside and where they are comfortable.
This is incredible. Cannot begin to understand what this man has been through. I truly hope he can find joy again in his life, without substance…
He says “seems like I’ve made all the wrong ones,” in regards to choices. Luckily, he still has life in him, and time to alter the upcoming choices he’ll soon have to make. Man seems like a great individual, I only wish the best for him.
Oh Benny, this was really heart wrenching. I feel weird making observations that you may read later and I feel weird speaking to you directly. The pain in your voice, in your chest, is so clear. I am just so sorry for whatever the things were that made you so sad. No one deserves that. I wish you some good things ahead.
You can tell he’s a good man with a caring heart.
If he'd only put pen to paper. He could write a bestseller, half a dozen country songs and perhaps some poetry. Benny is an amazing dude.
Yes
100 %
You're assuming he can write
YES!!!
He can! I personally know Benny 🖤 him ! Y'all should start go fund me for his family
I am a recovering drug addict/ alcoholic. I’ve been sober over 30 years. I didn’t know I had crossed that invisible line until I was way past it . And then I couldn’t just cross over again because the addiction had a hold on me. I did all of those things I said I would never do. And became the woman I was never going to be. Thank God for the recovery community. It gave me a second chance at life.
I totally get what you mean about the invisible line. I fully understand what you mean. That you have put such distance between your active addiction and where you are now is just wonderful, so well done Cindy. I wish you every happiness.
As a female with an addiction with we has additional invisible lines we cross sleeping with men for drugs pretending to be a gf for drugs or selling so we can buy our drugs thank God im sober 10+ yrs I quit at home it was hard but I did it
This one really got to me.
Thanks Mark you do an incredible job. I hope things turn around for him. It's never too late to stop doing drugs.
I like that we're just kinda chilling on his porch with him like we were walking and stopped to ask for a cigarette and we're just hearing him out
Wish we could. Not the cigarette though.😉
This one hit me different. The way he speaks and the words come out are sonically sad,& extremely real. the simple yet deep way he says things and paints a picture for you is chillingly lonely and empty . I wish the best for this guy as a former heroin user myself
Mark, I hope you never stop doing these interviews. You give people that have been beaten down, and suffered so many losses too, the chance to tell their story. It is often from that place of “telling” that healing begins. I hope Benny gets clean. I do believe he’s here still for a reason.
Heartbreaking. I know his pain and lost everyone, from friends in the same life as me shooting coke and heroin, to my parents and grandparents from other issues. He has the look In his eyes that he's exhausted from what he's been through, without even expressing words. As someone else in the comments said, if only he could see his potential. Everything happens for a reason, and we don't end up where we do in life and death without reason. Whether we understand it or not. If this man could save just one life with his story and experiences... we need to share these stories, and Mark is amazing for giving voices to our fellow men and women.
Thank you for telling your story. I needed to hear it
Listening to those lovely sounds of nature with the singing birds seems like a built-in drug deterrent (Mark does a great job on the audio too).
@Art Chave you clearly don’t understand why people use drugs. You honestly sound stupid. Delete your comment and save yourself the embarrassment.
@Art Chave I was loving the nature sounds.
@Art Chave Dumbest comment about drugs I ever read. You have no clue
Thank you Benny for sharing. I hear the pain in your voice. From half way across the globe I wish you the best possible.
Get some therapy Benny, your in a depression. You got a lot of life in you left. Your daughter is only 12 years old. ❤️🙏🏾
⬆️⬆️⬆️ What she said.
Therapy works, give it a shot! You're too cool to waste away.
This one got me man. Really good video I can't imagine how hard it is for the guy. I just hope somehow he can find some peace. 🙏
it passed three minutes of this interview and I am close to cry. it's amazing how strong this brothers love is.
I am the only child with sad parents and it's the shittest thing in the world.
have a good day and life all of you out there c:
This is the Saddest interview I’ve seen on your channel- Benny my heart goes out to you and I feel your pain bud I relate to a lot of things you said . I pray for the light to come to your life . You couldn’t
Of said it any better that was raw and uncut and I truly believe you just changed a lot of peoples life and there perception of it . Thank you for having the courage to share your story . God bless you brother
Hey Mark thanks for shedding some light on the West Virginia community. I’m from the northeastern part of WV and have been lucky enough to live a good life here and go to college, but i see first hand every day what it’s like for the less fortunate residents around me. The people here are genuine and kind. We just haven’t been dealt the best hand when it comes to the opioid crisis. I remember when i lived in Huntington, seeing an overdose a couple blocks away from my apartment was the norm. Yet i’m surrounded by beautiful mountains and wildlife. The thing is, no one truly understands what WV is like unless they’ve lived here. It straight up feels like a simulation.
My heart breaks when he says he doesn’t care if he goes (too), that he has nothing to live for.. I hope he is able to find peace and healing after all he has been through. His story truly makes me so sad..
Mark - thank you. My favorite question you ask is “what type of emotions do you go through.” It is such a humanizing question. It makes the people you interview relatable to all of us. They’re people just trying to survive and get by in the same world we all live in.
What an exquisite young man. There's hope for him yet. Ample.
Only if he can see that, isn't 100 acres worth something in Virginia? You still have years left, do it for yourself and daughter!
Real talk right here. Benny I will keep you in my prayers brother.
Amen. Drugs and alcohol will ruin a life. Most real statement I’ve heard on your channel
Appalachian people are some of the most downtrodden, yet resilient (and resourceful!) people I’ve ever encountered. I hope Benny finds the comfort he seeks, and finds the strength to get sober. We believe in ya buddy, I’ve got seven years sober from a 15 year heroin/opiate addiction. Keep your head up and take it one day at a time! Much ♥️ from Southern Illinois.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes we are
"Nothing left beside just to sit and fade away" You are a strong person, I believe you still get your life and family together,thank you for the advice, greetings from Morocco
Very smart man... he should write a book. Seems he’s lived a thousand lives already.
You have so much life left!
You seem like a genuine good soul. Make amends for all the trouble you caused and propel yourself forward.
Great interview! This man seems like a kind and wise soul. I wish him the very best this life and the next has to offer. God bless
Benny hang in there for you're daughter. She is worth living for. You have been through so much brother. I'm praying for you to receive strength to push through. God bless you and you're Dad Benny
He thought his life was over with no purpose, then Mark found him and now his story touches thousands possibly millions of lives!
Exactly well said ❤️
So his purpose in life is to show others not to be like him, and he should be grateful about that... How condescending.
Maybe he should write a book?
He said he is just sitting there. So many stories, maybe he could help someone ♡♡
It seems like he didn’t want the interview to end
You have a good soul Benny. Don’t give up. You can do this for you and your daughter!
You got a lot of people out here rooting for you. I hope you can grieve and move forward and be there for your dad and daughter. You still deserve a new lease on life and some happiness. It’s out there waiting for you. 🖤
"I have a cell phone and I don't thing its ever rang" Damn. That is so sad. His whole family is gone, addicts never have real friends, so he really is all alone. Most of us don't know what we have until its gone.
Thank you for posting
Through tears I am praying for you Benny. I understand depression and loneliness and though I never got into drugs or alcohol I have ruined my life in other ways. There is a hope at the end of the tunnel and talking about it to someone is the first step to get it off your chest. I hope that someone who sees this video can actually help you in a meaningful way. God bless you.
The paiin is his voice when he says hes lost his whole family to violence and drugs broke my heart. All of these people in these interviews are good underneath their issues, and I just wish more people would care and show them the love and support they deserve.
Such a strong and handsome guy. wishing you a better life.
Benny, I got sober at 53 after many many years of blackout drinking. I am the most weak willed person on the planet, so if I can do it you can. You have a little one to live for. Let her be your motivator. Once you get sober you'll find you have a lot to live for, many reasons to go on. Healing is hard,but it gets easier as time goes by, and it is truly liberating when you're no longer a slave to your addiction. Praying for you.
Very well said 👏
His honestly touched my soul...prayers sent up for him to live n not die
Nice to see an interview without that blue sheet background….best in a long time..
This one made me cry. Heartbreaking
I hope he knows his family is watching down over him! He is not alone in this addiction. He can do it💕
*up
@@Bornjamerican24 ...thats terrible 😕
@@wesleyAlan9179 how can those people he described be in heaven if hell exists?
@@Bornjamerican24 I think hell is here on earth.
Get the fuck out of here
I am sooo sorry that your life has been so difficult. I truly hope u can find the strength to get help. Apply what you learn and make the changes needed to get the life u want. I believe in u.
Benny is a SWU rockstar if you asked me ,Raw Brutal Cold Honesty , Entertainment 👍
Lots of wisdom here from this man!
This was unexpectantly inspirational for me. I get stressed out about first-world luxury problems and this man wakes up every day with that history and just lives on through. Respect.
Very short interview..need a Part II....Thank you Mark
I don’t even know this man and I love him so much. He just needs someone. Someone to regularly call him, check up on him, be there for him, be a good influence on him, and want something better for him. I wish I could help this man or even talk to him. Poor soul ❤️
My biggest regret was snorting that first pill. 10yrs later I finally dragged myself out of that deal with the devil.
You do dance with the devil and you never forget that first dance and your forever chasing it