Yup and that equals childhood trauma. Nothing like growing up having parents that tell you they would've been happier if their kid wasn't born and they weren't married to each other
Doesn't help that this time in their life is forever documented in the media for them to see when they grow up I can't imagine how school will be for them
Parents who make their kids feel guilty for being raised are overlooking an important truth: raising children is a responsibility they chose to take on, not a debt the child owes. Parenthood should be rooted in love and support, not guilt or transactional expectations. Kids didn’t ask to be born, and they deserve a nurturing environment, not one where they feel burdened for simply existing.
True. Having children is a "social responsibility" and that makes them want to split the burden with their kids even though they'll be expected to do the same one day. I don't think I've ever met anyone who had kids because no one pressured them to (they wanted kids without anyone telling them to.) people who have a strong desire to parent exist but they're rare and mostly want kids to make other people happy or people to control.
Although I do agree with you about parental duty but at the same time I do belive kids too have certain duties towards their parents. A parent will never be a good parent if they lack compassion for the kid. Most parents go above and beyond for kid. From buying kids favorite even of its out of pocket to being their for their adult child on wreacking things up. If not anything, they atleast deserve a normal safe old life. Where they feel wanted and loved. And ppl who abandone such old parents who have done soooo much , you really think such ppl will care for their spouse once the spouse coz of any incident becomes a responsibility instead of fun time ? I don't think so
My parents had the type of marriage that would scare you away from marriage entirely. I remember growing up begging her to divorce my dad because it was a toxic household. She refused to do so because she wanted us to be out of the house before that happened. Needless to say my siblings and I lived in a state of constant anxiety. They finally got divorced but the damage to us was done already. Kids are very sensitive to the environment and their parents moods. They’re the ones who set the tone for their children when it comes to future relationships they may form. And it pains me to see some parents are so wrapped up in themselves they forget that it’s the children that suffer
My parents were the same. Too self absorbed to be parents. It's kinda sad that people shame women who are doing there vest, but give couples a pass just because they "provide a two-parent household."
South Korea also does not allow a Single person who is not married to adopt children. Which would be difficult for women who are not married to adopt a Korean baby
It depends. There are two types of adoption process in south korea, and when the birthparents agree with adoption, they don't ask anything. I wonder why people here only have B&W information about south korea, but then they say like it's the only fact.
I think that's smart because not everyone who wants to adopt a baby is a good person and that child that they adopt even if it's in good faith more often than not will want to seek out their birth parents or have a hard time coping with only having one parent. It's selfish that people make that decision just cause they think it's right or ok.
@tiffanykim2773 girl what. a child would much rather have one parent than no parents. are you forgetting that children who in the position of being adopted have no parents (either by death or by abandonment)?? that is the center of their situation
There is nothing more damaging to children than being raised in a household that is unstable/parents do not have a good relationship. I grew up in household where parents were just together because there was stigma with divorcing. I had to spend a hung chunk of my 20s just recovering for that. Aftermath of that is family is very superficial and broken on the inside and to me there is no strong tie to the family.
Oh no. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that :( must have been so hard. But I’m glad that you were able to overcome it. Many people aren’t able to do that
Yeah for some reason people don't recognize that you can have two married sh*tty parents who create a hellscape family life. Id rather have one parental figure that can support me love protect me raise me in a loving environment with a great extended family support system than have two parents who aint worth dust.
@@BrynneMuirwell, let me respectfully disagree with you. As a single parent my child has actually thanked me for making it so he doesn’t have to live with his dad. I was so sad to hear him say that, but considering i divorced his dad when he was 2, I wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t about happiness, it was legit for our mental safety. The mental damage that man does to our child when he is in his custody just 4 days a month cannot be quantified, but requires therapy for my son to readjust. No way are you going to tell me my son would be better off having to live like that every day, never having a mental safe space.
@@sha2596my current situation. Left when my daughter was 18 months and she’s also in therapy. Two parent homes does not equate to a better upbringing just because there are two people.
Damn, this is my exact experience to a T. I'm 38 years old. My parents should have divorced at least 30 years ago. They were simply not meant to be together. They stayed together however because neither could survive on their own. My family is so broken, everyone resents each other and I've spent a big part of my life just trying to NOT be like either of my parents. Every time I'm out in public, I have to consciously remind myself not to act like them.
I am a divorced parent and happen to be a teacher here in seoul. I see soo many of my students who have both parents, but are fighting constantly, not sleeping in the same room, or not living together. When my students ask why I divorced, I tell them that I wanted my kids to see a healthy relationship, not fighting all the time, etc. They are almost always dumbfounded that that's the reason because their parents constantly fight. I absolutely dont think you should be encouraging 2-parent households without encouraging some sort of routine couples therapy or healthy relationship discussions. The korean people that I see are married and miserable. I think staying married for the sake of 'saving face' is not feasible or mentally healthy in the long run. I'm loving that the future in korea is (slowly) heading towards an acceptance of therapy too.
Think she was clear when she said “healthy relationships” and households. Kids are bound to have a better development when they are in a two parent household, that has an healthy environment.
@ameliamiranda1356 but she also makes it seem like it's as simple as pick better. Truth is you never know a person until they show you who they really are. And in an environment like skorea where they strive to be the perfect example on the surface, their closets are full of skeletons and you're already 2 kids into a marriage and it all falls apart.
I live in a country where there's no shame in being a single mom or being divorced. There are still people who choose to stay in relationships that make them miserable - some aren't even married, and just some of those miserable couples are raising children together. It has more to do with human behaviour. A lot prefer to be in a relationship even though they are miserable than to live a single life.
Therapy is western psychological poison. Stop trying to propagate a godless religion that takes the ability to think for yourself away. Korea has a lot of deep rooted centuries old strifes, there’s no need to add more crap to that
I have seen the video about the "Baby Box" It is heartbreaking...but I admire the Pastors, doctors and the people that volunteer to take care of the babies and their mothers in many cases. Worth watching.
Pastor Lee is the pastor known for bringing them there. He was shown in the picture with the baby boxes that Meghan shown in this post. He is so worth looking up. The stuff they do there is amazing. He is one of the reasons laws are starting to change.
This idea of having to pay your parents back for bringing you into this world and raising you is utterly unfair. No child consented to being here. This expectation places an unnecessary pressure on an already suffering child and creates resentment in most cases. Yes, the ideal model is to grow in a healthy family, but a necessary separation is the lesser of two evils. What pains me the most is that children are usually the ones suffering the consequences of actions they did not cause themselves! My aunt once told me, your mother changed your diapers and fed you and there comes a time where you have to return the favor. There's a vast difference between being forced to do something and willingly choosing to do it usually because there's mutual respect, unconditional love and freedom of choice. The motivation behind that speaks volumes! I personally would never place my mother in a nursing home and if she needed medical support, I would provide it at home in a safe and familiar environment because that's what she has provided for me. She's always loved me for who I am, was patient and never expected anything in return not even my love. If the parents have built a good relationship with their children, they won't have to worry. Thank you Megan for yet another informative video! I really respect your opinion and stance on this subject both as a woman and as a mom.❤
Thank you for your comment. But yes I also agree with you on that stance. A lot of Korean people were gaslit into believing that unfortunately. So it’s not just something they do out of love for the parents. But more something they feel extremely guilty if they are unable to do :( it’s sad to see people struggling with that. There is a monk here in Korea. He said. We don’t pay back our parents for birthing us. We pay it forward by raising our kids. All animals are like that. My parents raised me so I raise my kids. That’s why it’s important that parents are fulfilled in their life and don’t expect the kids to bring happiness. I’ve seen so many entitled parents here unfortunately :( they don’t realize that they are messing up their kids lives :(
@@MrsMeganMoon That monk spoke the truth. Nature is our best guide and teacher in life. I once heard a mother say to her child, I was born in order to meet you.
You all are very unaware of what's happening in all these human societies. Everything you hear and know about, they are happing for a reason, and it pains me that no one knows bc it has been so normalized. We somehow think we are not biological animals like all the other animals on the planet and that unlike the other animals, WE are excluded from biological behavior. We are not. We are operating from biology every minute of everyday. The problem is we are operating on the WRONG biology. The demand of care in old is a MALE biology. Just like they demand women be submissive, women cook and clean, demand sex, demand relationships, demand to be the leader when they are poor leaders, demand loyalty, demand love, they demand care. All the things that are entirely based on choices have now been made a REQUIREMENT. Your mother, a normal mother, one not severely infected with the mind virus of the male ideology, or severely traumatized by it, would never DEMAND care in old age, would namevwe make it a requirement for you to care for her. Instead she loved you so much and so thoroughly, and so deeply that you wouldn't be able to stand being apart from her in her dwindling years. Since the advent of these male creatures, I promise you, women have not known what true love is because that is the love between mother and child. If you've ever experienced true love from your mother, it will bring tears to you just thinking about it. And when you witness one, it will make you feel ethereal as you are flooded imworh emotions But the males, in their beastly hunger for whatever drives them to need women, they coopted that pure ethereal love for themselves, hence relationships. Women are giving their motherly love to their romantic partner and bc there love is SPLIT, women CANNOT love their children the way they were designed to. That's partly why the world is ducking miserable, children are traumatized and going no contact with their mothers. Of course you don't owe your mother anything but she showed you enough love that you WOULD do it. We are operating on the biology of the WRONG gender. And we are going to be miserable in a corrupt world as long as we don't switch BACK.
Hello. You will stop feeling guilty when you will have your own children and see how easy it is to love them and care for them. You will not think for a minute they own you something because it is a privilege and a joy to be a parent. In that moment you will realize how wrong and selfish they are.
@ Correct me if I’m wrong, but looking at your name I’m guessing you’re a fellow Greek? Either way, I was also going to add that we really and I mean really love children and most of us usually make fairly good parents and thus, grandparents however, being a good parent isn’t limited to a specific nation.
The thing about the French and Europeans not getting married is that these are not single parents. The parents are together. They just don’t get married. One of my French friends parents have been together for 40 years. Never married. Just was not important to them and there’s very little societal pressure to get married.
I know people thar love each other but don’t get married. It ia usually to protect one another from theire respective families who are rude and entitled and would probably ruin the marriage ceremony out of envy and how would put pressure on the spouse after marriage for financial, domestic and emotional care. It is a form to f protection and it is sad some people cant do what they want because of relatives.
As a 33yrs old French (Congolese with origins) woman that is not married, I feel 0 pressure to get married from society in general. The pressure comes more from my mum. If she hadn't started mentioning it, I would have not really thought about it. Funny thing is, my brother is 27 and he just got married, no body ever told him he had to do it lol
@Petronole I think for us women it's much harder because we a time limit 🥺 that's why many are choosing to freeze their eggs but that option is not possible for most.🤍
Currently an English teacher in Korea and the other day one of my more rowdy 5th graders came into class teasing another student (not one of my students) for not having a mom. I don’t actually think it was true about the other student, but that class got a big earful about how we do NOT make jokes like that and if someone doesn’t have one or both parents, we will NEVER treat them any differently. I am particularly passionate about orphan care, so this is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. Thank you Megan for touching on it in this video with the ghost babies and baby box section! Would love a video taking about the orphanage system in Korea and the stigmas that these kids face. As well as what is being done to help them. It’s truly heartbreaking, but there are some great organizations in Korea doing amazing work! Two great organizations are Oak Tree Project and Love Beyond the Orphanage
I was raised by a single mom with a high income and stable job. My situation was different from most kids under single parent households because my mom was able to provide everything, so I didn’t really have problems BUT I hated how condescending people were with her and me “Oh poor her, she is a single mom🥹” “Oh you are the child who is ignored by that person” EVEN THOUGH MY MOM HAD A SUCCESSFUL CAREER AND I WAS DOING FINE so and so…I was never bullied but yes I was pitied which I don’t know if it’s worse. I’ve never needed my father, but people were always bringing him up and making me feel like I was a victim. I’ve never missed him, never wanted him around because he was never there. But people kept pushing me to have a relationship with him even though I didn’t want to (even my mom insisted me on talking to him despite telling her I didn’t care for him) I wish people just did what children want, ask them how they feel and what they want to do
As someone that has lived in Korea and now lives in France, the high rate of babies born out of wedlock in France is a bit taken out of context, when you know French culture, like really know it, you will realise most kids born in France are not born to single parents, they are born to 2 parents that are in a relationship, fully, I have yet to see kids born to a single parent before, I know they exist but I haven't seen it (yes, there are single parents in France, though it's mostly after kids are born and usually from a couple breaking up after), but I'd say the majority of kids are born to parents in a relationship, they aren't married, but they are legally tied to each other in a way. In France there is a type of legal common law coupleship called a PACS, it stands for pacte civile de solidarité, it's a legal civil union contract, it's technically not marriage, but I'd say a good portion of long-term relationships in France are PACS, socially it is almost seen the same as marriage, they will call each other husband and wife or wife and wife, you get the point, and I'd say 80% of those 64% of kids "born out of wedlock" are to couples that have signed a PACS, and to me that distorts the whole ratio a lot just because the couples aren't legally married, they are still legally bound in a way. I will say though that legal access to a child is not covered in the PACS, so if the child isn't blood related to you, is adopted, you both have to adopt the child or adopt the child of the other PACS person (like if you're a gay or lesbian PACS couple), or be married, so most gay and lesbian couples tend to be married when children are involved just so that both parents have legal rights over the kids
Yeah, here in the Netherlands we have older mothers but that means you are more secure and the baby is likely to be planned. I think we don't particularly care if they are married or not but that no one should remain together for the kids. I'm glad my parents got divorced, my life would have been worse if he had stuck around. But I was raised by my mom, a stay at home mom, and my godmom was there every single day doing everything moms do and my grandma was there all the time too. So I had no lack of caring stable adults raising me. I always say I had two moms eventhough they were friends , not in a relationship. All you need is a loving home. I never had to wonder if I was cared for. That is due to government support though my father didn't pay his child support our government didn't make that our problem.
Hi! in your comment you wrote that you have a godmom and she left a positive impact in your life. I'm the godmom of my bestfriends son. He 2 yrs old now. Do you have any advice on how i should be there for him as he gets older? I really love that little dude and I want to do the best I can to help raise him and be there for him.
@@Petronole Well one of the ways that I think our system worked out was that my mom and godmom and anyone else were on the same line about rules. This will not always be the case with everyone but in our system it meant we were never confused, bedtimes were strict and one didn't spoil us more than the other. For most godparents they will not be there every day and so a bit of spoiling isn't an issue. Little kids don't understand world like " I love you" what they feel instead is an adult who knows how their parents take care of them, like knowing their bedtime routine, how far the bedroom door has to be cracked as they sleep, what lights have to be on or off. That makes them feel safe and that the person cares and loves them. As he gets older you can have sleepovers and reduce the load on the mom. You can be another adult the child can confide in, sometimes kids share things easier with a non parent, like about bullying in school. Be kind and understanding. And of course keep him safe, from parents too if you have to. Sadly that is sometimes needed. In my case my godmom was the gentler more playful parent while my mom was the diciplinarian more. But they had a lot of fun together.
I wouldn't call myself conservative on pretty much anything, but you are spot on with the baby mama/baby daddy culture in America. It's missing a huge part of my own childhood in that my parents were together, but broke up, however they were mature enough that they didn't argue like you see all of the time. My never bad talked each other or argued in front of us and most of all my father was very much involved in my life. Like so much so I probably never went a month without being exclusively with him. I understand why some people don't want to get married, but what I don't understand is having kids when you know good and well you aren't going to stay together with your partner and you aren't emotionally ready for the child. It reflects so badly on the child. It's so much better to be happy together with before having kids too. Also, as a testament to the importance of emotional maturity, when I was conceived and born my mom wasn't ready for another child, but until she told me about it a few years ago I couldn't tell and still can't.
I'm not sure that people do it intentionally. I think people hope for the best in a relationship and it doesn't always work out. People end up being different from what they present themselves as. I was with my husband for a year, we had our first daughter and moved away. I was pregnant with my second daughter and we moved back to the town my parents lived in because I wanted the community. I was 8 months pregnant with our second daughter when I opened the mail to discover child support paperwork demanding my husband come address paternity/ support at our local social services office. He was cheating on me when I was pregnant with our first child and had convinced me to move across the country in an attempt to cover up this other child he made with another lady. I tried for 2 years to make things work but it was useless because I had already glimpsed behind his mask. I knew he was willing to lie to me for months about very important matters, that he didn't feel loyalty towards me, that any chores or tasks he requested me to do for his benefit and he had no concern for my wellbeing. I could continue to let hatred fester below the surface or I could attempt a new life as a single mother. Ultimately I decided I would prefer to be alone rather than in poor company, and we divorced. Once he realized I was not romantically interested in him anymore, he moved away and slowly distanced himself from my girls. Now he calls them maybe once a year if even that. I don't know what else I could have done, at 18 years old, to have made things any different. My life has had hard times and good times, and I have been lucky enough to find a marvelous man to share my journey with who is loyal and appreciates me. Unfortunately now we are experiencing infertility and now that I have found love and support and a healthy relationship, I may not be able to give him the gift of being a father. It's a cruel joke from the universe. Youth really is wasted on the young
@rachel_Cochran Oh, of course there's people like that and I absolutely wasn't talking about your situation because as you are saying life be lifeing and sometimes people are way different from what and who they present themselves as. Being a single parent and a good one at that is way better than being in a toxic environment not only for the kids, but I think to some extent, you more importantly. I'm sad that happened to you and I wish all the best for you continuing forward.
Babies change the dynamics of the relationship. And sometimes expose it. If the couple were unstable before and chose to overlook it, it becomes to ignore once a baby is born.
. I think the lack of comprehensive sex ed and individualism are factors as to why it’s become more normalized. But still I’d rather have a single parent doing their best than two parents in a toxic situation with a baby. Korea is a whole other ballgame and it’s always interesting to hear about the societal differences ❤
Right. And it’s also economically harder to raise a kid especially alone in Korea. Not just higher cost of living in general if you have a kid, but because of the highly competitive education system there compared to the West. It’s like even if you try to ignore, you would feel lots of pressure (once your kid starts entering school) to give your child the education every other kid receives that you “think” they deserve for an improved learning. Because of the societal factors you mentioned, parents get judged based on their children's achievements, behavior, as well as the education they get. I think you even get judged for being a single parent, which is nothing to be ashamed of. But that being said sending a kid to like 5-10 hagwons (academies) while they attend school will cost lots of tuition. On top of that, limited health care options. No wonder, the birth rate’s declining. It’s hard.
I think that a legal adult should be able to start a family under their own name. I would rather a child have a single parent that feels like they are doing ok. Than have a ghost baby that nobody know if they are alive, dead, being abused, etc. At the end of the day that child is a SK citizen and is entitled to to all the benefits that the rest of the residents/ citizens receive.
35 years ago I became pregnant with my partner of just a few months. An “oops” baby. My partner wanted us to get married but I wasn’t sure he was the one for me at that moment. My parents disowned me because he was not from the same racial group. I was fortunate to be financially self sufficient, so if we broke up I could manage independently. I told him that if he wanted me to abort he could walk away and I would never contact him. We stayed together as partners on the basis that if it didn’t work out he would have an active role in raising the child ie shared custody. We married 2 years later after we lived together and we found that we were compatible and happy together. I did bear some social stigma but more because the child was mixed race than because of being a single parent. I fortunately had a couple of friends who rallied around me. The parents also eventually came around. I am glad I waited because I never ever felt he stayed for the child, I was certain he wanted to be married to me and raise our family together. And he was secure that I made an informed decision to stay with him because he was the right life partner for me.
@@HunterSayzRWAR It became my business when the storyteller made it public. Also, it’s a matter of accountability. If you choose to have sex with someone whom you feel is unreliable, you’re being just as irresponsible because you’re setting yourself up for failure or a complicated situation you’re not braced enough.
MEGAN STAHP GIRL!! Less than a minute in and dying with your animated story telling. I LOVE IT( & let me just add its not "animated" but your mannerisms are so entertaining. I could listen to all the stories!)
1:12 Being born out of wedlock is not the same as being born to a single parent. For example, in Iceland lots of couples don't see the point of getting married even if they live together and have kids together.
There’s almost no benefit to getting married there. Relationships are more honest. Women have complete autonomy legally. Men are raised to be self-sufficient. It’s very similar to how things were pre-the forced expansion of Christianity.
I have been watching you for many many years now Megan. I don’t usually comment on videos, but just want to let you know that I have been loving these podcast type videos lately. Feels like I am talking to an older sister (I’m an only child) and I also have a Korean MIL. I am mexican-american and learning more about Korean culture helps me understand my family dynamic better. Thank you for the hard work!
Is it only me, or is it so unfair and misogynistic that only single mums are stigmatized and not the men who got them pregnant? Even after they divorce ,or even if they are married, the parents can take care of the child they had together and give him/her a happy life if they truly want to as long as they prioritize it's needs, being in wedlock is not mandatory for this to happen. The problem is that usually the pair is irresponsible with contraception and becomes pregnant without truly wanting to have a child, abortion is stigmatized, so you end up with people unwilling and unprepared to take the responsibility of raising a child.
I pointed out the sexism in my comment. Also please take into consideration that often it's men who avoid using condoms. Women face stigma still for buying in many areas. Birth control pills for some women cause other health issues. Over and over society reorganizes itself to privilege men and blame women.
I don’t know how I found myself on your channel but I’m so happy because you’ve become my favorites. I love learning about cultures and I really like how you explain things. Love your channel.!!!
I love these informative videos so much, especially when they connect to some current events in popular culture. It’s fun to learn so thank you for making them! ❤ (You look stunning in that dress btw!)
The r@pe culture that’s brewing and the already lack of accountability on fathers will make this sooo horrible. And age of consent laws are dropping the age limit. College is becoming less accessible. Kids are having to pick up more jobs while in school to support their parents and siblings.
I can’t stand baby mama culture. It is not good for the child in the slightest. The line at 2:26 is so crazy to me, that people think having a kid is not commitment. It’s a whole human please be so fr. I already have a distaste for hook up culture but if you are going to do it, why be selfish and quite literally bring a child into the equation? Be cautious not only for yourself but also the potential of another single parent having child being brought into this world. We should support these women or men who are single parents, but we shouldn’t support this behavior and mindset of “marriage is a bigger commitment than kids” wow
Thank you!! I always say it’s easier to say yes and get married than have a kid. Children are a bigger commitment and it seems like not everyone shares this sentiment
@ I’m just glad others see how ridiculous and so not cute this is. Like Megan moon said, there are honestly 1 too many songs glorifying baby mama-ism. It ain’t cute in the slightest, nor is ur sexy, and honestly just sets yourself and child up for failure.
@@zakiyamohammed2426 Exactly! Not only songs but movies as well promoting this distasteful behavior! And then we have these celebrities & rappers who glorify it by having a slew of women getting pregnant for them.
I am single mom of two and bringing them up by myself, they are in their thirties with very good jobs, I make sure they both go to university. I am 60 working in accountants. I live in Australia
I’m agree with you that children do better in a healthy two parent household. With that being said, I also agree that the center of the family is the couple/marriage not the children. When the parents love each other and have a strong foundation that in return produces strong kids. Being married just to say you’re married doesn’t mean the kids are better off. Seeing the discourse between their parents will actually give them mental health issues and more than likely put them off from wanting to be married in the future. Knowing this is why more people need to practice safe sex at all times and make better choices with who they have sexual active with.
Yeah, it takes a village to raise a child. I don't even think kids need two parents who are romantically involved or married, as long as they have trustworthy and caretaking adults in their lives. A kid can have two parents and no caretakers, believe me... As a teacher I see it a lot and it's heartbreaking.
I love videos like these! Please continue to make them Megan. I am from the States too, so it's pretty common to see single mothers more often, then single dads. Regardless, I do believe that it is okay to raise a child in a single parent household. What's important is that the child grows up in a loving, supportive, and healthy home and that can be achieved with just 1 parent.
Omg! I was going to ask about your take on single mothers but I figured you would never see my comment! And yet here that video is. Thank you for the resesarch!
I am from Italy and here (with the exception of very small rural realities) nobody cares if you have a child outside marriage if you are in a stable longterm relationship. The majority of young people don't get married and just live together and the law has recognized that putting those couples on the same rights as married couples. However having a child with someone who you don't have any relationship with (hook up mistakes) is still considered very bad
16:49 in Latin America old school people and some young have that mentality ,of paying back your parents for been your parent and having to do what a responsible parent shoudl do, which is to raise their kids. These parents and family member will guilt their kids/ grandkids, ect, into thinking that they are ungrateful if they dont or can't.
I am the product of baby mama/ baby daddy culture here in America but my situation was a little different. My parents were never together and my mom was told she was infertile so I am her first and last child she has ever had. In my fathers case Im the third eldest out of 20 (possible) kids. My mom had told my dad from the very beginning that if he was not inclined to be in my life or did not want me that he could leave. If that was the case she had planned on not telling me who he was until I was 18. He lied to her and said he wanted to be there and ever since I was born it has always been just me and my mom and the village. I am now 25 years old and realize that Im beyond thankful my parents never got together because even at a younger age I recognized that my biological father was and is not a good person. Im thankful for my godfather who stepped up as my father figure who is sadly no longer alive. Im thankful for my uncles stepping up. For my stepdad stepping up. Although I did not have my biodad I still was able to luckily have a dad. Its very rare for women to find a group of people that will step in and help but my mother made sure she made up in the places that she could.
This is so off topic but your hair looks incredible 😍 such an important topic and I’m so glad you’re giving a platform on it but the hair really looks great I had to say some something!
When I saw the title I immediately thought of Sayuri, a japanese celebrity living in Korea. She wanted a child, but wasn't in a relationship, so she had her son Zen through IVF, using sperm from a spermbank in Europe, because as a single woman she wasn't eligible to get it in Korea or Japan (if I recall correctly, don't quote me on that). I think she is setting a great example of single parenting in Korea.
I agree with you Meghan on the points you were making :) Thanks for bringing awareness to this issue, it's an important one for everyone to hear - not just Koreans.
@Mrs.MeganMoon could you discuss how/what South Korea thinks about learning disabilities and how children are helped and/or hindered as a result of their learning issues?
Unsure how people can espouse removing the stigma of single motherhood while still saying that “baby mama culture” is bad. The ONLY way to remove the stigma of single motherhood is to promote it, encourage it, and realize it’s the only way to address the perceived “birth rate issue” while still leaving any room for feminism and progress on gender equality. I’m a single mother by choice via donor, clinic and contract, and I believe single motherhood should be glorified because it is genuinely so amazing to be in control of the entire process from start to finish. No broken home, no fighting, no trying to decide who should have the final say. Plenty of messed up people coming from 2 parent homes, so this is clearly just a way to make poor people feel like they have a path to success even when their kids are deprived of everything but a father. It’s well past the time to stop saying “children need a mom and a dad” when it’s just not true. We have to stop saying kids need 2 parents in general to thrive, again because it’s just not true. Because WHERE you raise your kids has way more to do than the structure of the household. My kids growing up with a single mother in a fancy NYC suburb going to Montessori school are way better off than 2 parents in rural KY doing home schooling from their van. Humanity is way more complex than this dichotomy. Stop feeding into it.
a lot of people assume that kids don't know anything when they are young but they actually have a very good grasp of household dynamics at a young age, i've even learned they have a concept of death by 2. kids definitely know what's going on.
i cried sooo hard watching the baby box movie that i haven’t been able to watch it again. thank god for such selfless kind people. also as a 35 year old korean american that doesn’t keep up with korean media anymore, i was aghast that jung woo sung has a baby mama 😭 i loved him so much in a moment to remember lol
When I was around 10 or 11 my younger sister and I discussed it and made our parents sit down at the table to formally request that they break up, because they fought all the time and we thought they would be happier that way. My mom just laughed it away and 10 years and another kid later he finally left.
Before being attacked (2degree humor) after only one minute of video, my French brain went ''but I just want a baby, not clean for a man...'' so well... It can be difficult to live with a man and it's not as financially dramatic to be a single mom either, it's not that hard to find affordable childcare compared to other countries. It's out of subject but a lot of men are asking for shared custody and they become better people and fathers through it as they are put in a situation where they are alone with their child. Personally, I grew up with parents screaming and breaking stuff almost daily, having to hide in a room with the pets until it stopped, and a mom using me as an excuse not to divorce, she made it my fault when it was never the case. and she always worked more than my dad, she does 66% of the house income or more and 85% of the cleaning and cooking still to this day. But my mom is from an ethnic and strict family so it can explain her behavior. Shared custody may make the parents less aggressive, a few women told me that they became more patient with their kids as they were less tired and could focus more on a career, social life, and health as the dad had no choice when it was his week to care for the children. Some would be full of regret '''he is being the dad I wished he was when we were together''. French people are not really religious too (no president is gonna promise anything while putting his hand on a bible, it would be scandalous), so marriage loses some power and marriage is expensive too, some people would rather save that money for themselves, life is getting expensive. I had a female teacher who got married at 60yo cause her life partner had adult children from a previous marriage and if they didn't get married, if her partner died first, the kids could throw her out of the house as it was her partner's propriety, so they were forced to marry for succession rights. PACS is easier to do than mariage, less paperwork and not much money to spend but when it comes to succession, marriage is better. I know a few men who are married 2 or 3 times making single mothers over and over. It's quite embarrassing to ger married just to divorce in a few years. My friend was ashamed, she got pregnant 2 months after meeting the dad and they broke up 2 years later but who care, she was 35yo and the kid see both parents and grandma every single week. They love their little girl, I don't like the guy as a person but he is obvious a good dad like my friend is a good mom, and yes it was hard for months for the little girl, she cried a lot and now, she doesn't care.
I personally don't believe a child NEEDS to have both a mother and a father in the house. They just needs support; emotionally, mentally, finacially, etc. I believe the reason a lot people feel like children need this "nuclear" family is because others make the parents and child feel bad for not having or being part of that. It's stigmatized. There are different types of families, and as long as they're loving adults surrounding the child, I believe they'll be a balanced individual. Having a mother and a father doesnt guarantee that. Although you did mention that as long as the parents are on the same page, nurturing, and caring so I dont disagree with you there. There's a reason there's the saying "It takes a village to raise a child". And I also agree that people should be responsible when sleeping around. No shame in it, just be responsible and picky with who you give yourselves to. For both men and women. I hope I was able to articulate myself correctly.
@@celestialmorpho You're absolutely correct, but the child is not doomed if they're not raised by the two that created them. They are not less worthy of love and respect and nobody is needs to pity them as long as they have other adults that are fulfilling their mental, emotional, physical, etc requirements. They should be treated like any other child that has both parents.
@@celestialmorpho Who said it should be the ideal goal? Because this society says so? There are many different types of societies today and throughout time. They all did not only consist of two parents, some 3, 4, or even 1. And what makes you think this is a disadvantage for the child? The idea of an "ideal" family will always make someone, especially a child, feel like they are missing something or their family is "broken".
@ wow. ok nevermind. if you don’t see value in stable families as they’re intended then we won’t be able to have a conversation. there are societies that practice horrific things including muti/lation and child sa/cri/frice. What other societies do don’t matter and not all cultures are the same or morally equivalent. Also notice how you mentioned families with more than two parents and not less. It takes a village. That includes mother and father and extended family. If a child has only one caretaker that also has to financially provide then they’re emotional needs are much less likely to be met because the only care taker they have is not present. Presence matters. Check out Erica Komisar. She’s a psychoanalyst.
I was raised by a single mom with my two siblings! Every day I wonder how she could deal with us three, a job, a house, and manage the stress! I couldn’t imagine living in a society that, on top of this difficult situation, would make it even harder for her! 😢 I feel so bad for the many single moms in the world who are judged by society, but I almost feel sadder for those who stay in abusive/loveless relationships just for optics/appearances.
When I was getting my sociology degree I had to take a class about families and the statistics showed it was almost always better to divorce than stay in a marriage for the kids.
Thank you for this video. Imagine your country's birthrate is the lowest on the planet and you have on top of that infants dying on your watch. Hopefully it will get better. Before knowing about ghost babies in Korea I once watched a documentary about low birth in the country with my grandmother and she said in a conversational tone, the country is cursed because the ghosts of their children can't find peace. Older folks really freak me out sometimes.
Megan!!😊 I am enjoying this new content! I love Korean culture as a whole and I enjoy these topics! I am currently learning Korean however my Korean is not yet where it should be YET to consume content in Korean. ❤
Hey Megan. Thanks for your intakes. You are my TH-cam big sister, I'm a 33yrs old French woman . I've been watching for a while now. Your videos give me a better prospective to life as a woman. My best friend had a baby a little after you. The way you spoke about your pregnancy help me understand her better and be there for her. As of now I've gone through 2 surgeries for my fertility issues. The video you made speaking about your situation helped me. I don't know how but it made me realize that it wasn't given to just get pregnant easily. So when my doctor gave me the news I was prepared and just focused on a solution. So thanks. And also thanks for the video about marriage begin a duty. It was eye opening for me. Although I haven't found my person yet, It gave me a better perspective of what to look for and how I should also do better. Over all, you've been a positive influence in my life. (The longest comment I've ever written on the internet lol )
5:15. That's why if you ask some older people (pre 1975), a lot of them don't know the actual DATE of their birth. A lot of Korean parents didn't Register the baby's birth until many months or years later. 1. Because there was no mandate. 2. Traveling to the city hall to register it takes time if you live far from Seoul or if you are poor and Don't have transportation to Seoul because pre 1990's Korea did not have the awesome public transportation that they have now. Or, they have to work 60 hours a week. Aka a lot of farmers. Or, you just Don't care since there was no law saying there is a deadline to register the birth. Sorry for typos. I'm in a car. Not driving. Passenger.
I've been a subscriber for a long time, but I don't really comment. I just want to say that I completely agree with everything that you said. My partner is Korean, and some of his friends are in a marriage for the kids but are living miserable lives. I honestly feel bad for everyone involved but I especially feel bad for the kids. I grew up in the same environment where my mom married my dad because she was pregnant. Dad was a walking red flag and was honestly barely in our lives even when they're married. Now, my siblings and I don't plan on ever getting married because of what we experienced growing up and still going through it until today (mom is very old school and religious so doesn't want to divorce). So for people out there, think carefully before you decide.
Definitely wish my parents would have just broken up. My mom informed me multiple times that if it wasn’t for the kids she would have been left him. I do feel like the old ppl have a point in that it does take more than money to raise a kid. So hopefully when he says he’ll “take responsibility” that means he will help finically and actually be a parent to the child as well.
What I can't wrap my head around is why it is always the mother getting the most heat when she is the one doing her part and taking care of the kid instead of the absent father. It takes two to make one, so where is the dad's criticism? I am tired of pure ignorance and idiotic bafoons constantly being rude to the mothers like they got themselves pregnant.
I've known too many ppl that are staying married because of their kids and the reason is always for the kids. I mean your children can see and feel if you're unhappy. You want your kids happy but you want to be a happy adult too...in a fulfilling relationship. Sigh
As a childfree married woman I feel there’s a stigma the other way around too by choosing marriage without children (I live in Europe so slightly less stigma here but it’s still there).
As a person born and raised in a nordic country which is considered one of the happiest countries in the world. The statistics of babies born out of wedlock is true, it's very common. That does not mean that they are born to single parents or not have a good environment to grow up in. It's very common for couples to just get engaged, buy a house and start a family without getting married. I know in many countries you get tax benefits, when for example buying a house, and that's a reason people get married. In my country those kind of benefits does not exist, if you are couple it's considered the same as being married in many ways. Engagement are taken very seriously tho, and many stay engaged for many many years and then maybe get married later on in life when they feel like having a party and the kids can be a part of the celebration. Very few kids are born to teen moms and good education and free contraception (up to a certain age) are reasons for that. Just a few points from a nordic person, many here live a so called "traditional" life but just skip the marriage part. 😊
That seems like the way to do it also. Not needing the institution of marriage. Just the couple who want to start a life and family together. Thanks for sharing
Such a hard topic to cover and you did great. I'm a "Single Mom by Choice" (sperm bank) and it makes me so sad when people assume a two parent household is more important for a child than a loving one. I am happy for couples like you and Mr. Moon, who respect and love each other. The joy you both take in your children is felt through the screen and you can see how loved they feel. :) I am also happy for the joy I feel in my children and how open they are with their feelings, communicating with me and each other about boundaries and emotions. Children need people who love them without question, unconditionally, whether that is a parent, a grandparent or the village. I have told my kids since birth "I love you forever, no matter what." and taught them that you can not like someone for something (or their actions in something) but still love them. I could ramble forever on this. Just remember that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about and be kind.
I'm the daughter of two loving parents who chose to split before I was born. I got to watch them find their own happiness and I couldn't have had better parents. I lived with my mom and went to my dad's house every other weekend the other weekend I would visit grandparents. Birthdays as a kid they did together not at either house. Summer Break (June-August) I went to whichever house I wanted, Sometimes they called dibs. Holidays were split or half days, for example Mom would have me during the morning then dad would have me afternoon. Do I plan to do my best to give my future children a loving two parent household, Yes. But thanks to my parents I know to make my happiness a priority so that my own children will do same.
I wanna hear you speak Korean more Megan! I feel so proud. I remember watching your video when you were talking about learning. That’s why I’ll never forget chair in Korean lol! Iykyk
Hoping Korea can catch up with the times and make life more fulfilling for many types of families and lifestyles in time to make the most of the benefits!! Not holding my breath, but hopeful.
Video Idea! Megan, can you make a video talking about these “korean fortune tellers”? Like why would you go to them, what can they help you with, do they use crystals? horoscopes? tarot cards? are they legit? how do they become one? and maybe include a story or two about people who have used them. That mini story about your trainer stopped me in my tracks!
I was a single teenage mother in the 70s in the U.S. and it was not easy then but still easier then it is now in Korea. My parents never turned their back on me and it is horrible that most Koreans would turn their back on their children if they became pregnant because of shame. I also watched the documentary on the Baby Box a few years ago and it broke my heart. Koreans need to stop judging, stop focusing on plastic surgery, stop buying luxury items and start supporting each other or there will be no Korea in the future. The government is killing is own people by not changing the laws to protect single mothers and single fathers. My one and only child grew into a wonderful person. I did marry, late in life and just celebrated my 24th wedding anniversary. Thanks so much for sharing and wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Most Koreans do not get plastic surgery or buy a lot of luxury goods. It’s not your place to judge, especially when you are ignorant of the situation. Megan is a vlogger, not a credible new source.
@@jiminswriter4209 From news interviews I have seen Koreans buy the most luxury goods in the world along with having the most plastic surgeons. So why can't I have that opinion? Its sad that the Korean people can not rally around single parents instead of shaming them. And Megan never said anything about this.
I understand where you're coming from, however many folks in Korea are products of their environment and often have no choice but to participate in society's rat race. Not sure if it's still as prevalent nowadays, but about 5 years or so ago, I remember watching a documentary on how many people in Korea (mainly women, but some men too) are pressured by society to conform to beauty standards. Otherwise it could affect them getting a job since Korea requires people to have pictures of themselves in their job applications. If you're deemed unattractive, your chances of getting a job or into Uni is limited. Hence why it's not uncommon for parents to gift their children plastic surgery as a graduation gift, in order to improve their odds of getting work. This also falls in live with dressing fashionably and following current trends, which leads to buying of luxury items. They're a heavily conformist based society, much of Asia is (I'm part Indian) and these ideas run DEEP, like GENERATIONS deep and it's very difficult to step outside the box in a society that DOES NOT like individualism, without potential repercussions (affecting your career and education prospects). Things are changing, but it takes time.
@@sprocket8662 Koreans buy more luxury goods on average. Yes, but that does not mean most people buy lots of luxury goods. Korea is a Mecca for plastic surgery in the world with many patients coming from across the world. Most Koreans do not get surgery. Your opinion needs to be better informed. Many Koreans are supportive of single parents, but that doesn’t mean the stigma does not exist. Yes, Megan has commented on luxury goods in Korea.
My opinion it shouldn’t be embraced or stigmatized. We can’t encourage single parent households but we can’t make people feel worse for situations they’re in that the most likely did not plan.
Amen, no need to hate or celebrate. It shouldn't be normalized like in the west but we should not ostracize or stigmatize people for not coming together out of obligation (potentially creating an even more toxic household for the child).
@@kristinesharp6286 It shouldn't be encouraged. In America, 85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes. Korea is safe because they have a culture of strong family values. Having a child as a single parent is extremely selfish and unfair for the child.
Do you know how msny eomen die snd str raped and abused in marriages? Thats not a rhetorical question. I need an actuak answer. Do you knkw? Is That's better??? Is it reslly better considering whst she said about the children product of marriages are MISERABLE? so who is marriage actually serving if women and children are miserable
I think embrace it. It shouldn't matter if the person is single or not. It's their body. Parenting is doing the right thing that YOU thought was right at the time. Parenting never came with a handbook.
You have a bunch of options in France, like civil partnership (PACS), domestic partnership (created for homosexual couples I think), marriage, and even "concubinage" (legal mistress - usually a woman). These partnership statuses all have different rights attached to them. Marriage gives you the most rights / protections, but like, as a "mistress" you can get inheritance rights. There are differences in health rights (visitation/power of attorney), child custody, taxation, and even visa rights for a non-European partner. Interesting topic!
So have we forgot about women that were married when they got pregnant and the man decides not to take responsibility and divorces her before she has the child? Some single mothers, many single mothers actually are single mother due to that. Not because they had a child out of wedlock.
Another reason for its low birth rate. Can’t raise the rate if you constantly stigmatize it at the same time. I don’t get this story though. She is going to be a mom and he said he would still support his child. He ain’t running so I really don’t see the problem other than the cheating, if it is that. Could be an open relationship for all we know.
Nobody is wondering why the birth rate is so low... I'm Korean, and myself and all my friends, are very, very, very aware of the reasons and how those reasons affect our lives, but that doesn't mean we're going to have kids just to raise a statistic.
@@mautre what??? Wtf??? Wtf. What s horrible communication you have, unable to identify rhetorical statements. Do you even know what those are? I swear the more I talk to humans the more i hate humans. Do you know what a rhetorical statement is?
All those European countries have a low birthrate too even if it's not to the same extent💀💀Number 2 is Bulgaria and they are NOT having children and actually conservative so it is surprising seeing them above countries more socially liberal, Italy is known as an open air retirement home (a lot of southern and eastern Europe too) and I've been learning about Germany's aging population since I was in 7th grade in Georgraphy class if not before and economists are worried too many Syrians will go back as they need the working hands. Even the US is sustaining itself through immigration as the citizens are not having enough kids, it's pure economics on why ppl are not having kids everywhere with the small splash of growing doomerism from the very well educated but pessimistic populations from climate change and other stuff making them not want children.
Let's be so for real. Worldwide, people's moral standards have fallen into the toliet. Sleeping around, situationships, baby mama's/baby daddy's, brojem homes haven't help society improve one lick since this is becoming the norm. These younger generations are absolutely cooked. Don't normalize or enable this crap any further.
as a product of a mother and a father that hate each other, I can GUARANTEE you that the child will feel guilty for existing.
Yup and that equals childhood trauma. Nothing like growing up having parents that tell you they would've been happier if their kid wasn't born and they weren't married to each other
If he or she remains in the country
Doesn't help that this time in their life is forever documented in the media for them to see when they grow up I can't imagine how school will be for them
SAMEEE
Same thing happens to kids of single parents btw
Parents who make their kids feel guilty for being raised are overlooking an important truth: raising children is a responsibility they chose to take on, not a debt the child owes. Parenthood should be rooted in love and support, not guilt or transactional expectations. Kids didn’t ask to be born, and they deserve a nurturing environment, not one where they feel burdened for simply existing.
Thank you, this is so validating
beautifully stated
Yeah a lot kids are accessory to some parents, and are just for culture checklist.
True. Having children is a "social responsibility" and that makes them want to split the burden with their kids even though they'll be expected to do the same one day. I don't think I've ever met anyone who had kids because no one pressured them to (they wanted kids without anyone telling them to.) people who have a strong desire to parent exist but they're rare and mostly want kids to make other people happy or people to control.
Although I do agree with you about parental duty but at the same time I do belive kids too have certain duties towards their parents.
A parent will never be a good parent if they lack compassion for the kid. Most parents go above and beyond for kid. From buying kids favorite even of its out of pocket to being their for their adult child on wreacking things up.
If not anything, they atleast deserve a normal safe old life. Where they feel wanted and loved. And ppl who abandone such old parents who have done soooo much , you really think such ppl will care for their spouse once the spouse coz of any incident becomes a responsibility instead of fun time ? I don't think so
My parents had the type of marriage that would scare you away from marriage entirely. I remember growing up begging her to divorce my dad because it was a toxic household. She refused to do so because she wanted us to be out of the house before that happened. Needless to say my siblings and I lived in a state of constant anxiety. They finally got divorced but the damage to us was done already. Kids are very sensitive to the environment and their parents moods. They’re the ones who set the tone for their children when it comes to future relationships they may form. And it pains me to see some parents are so wrapped up in themselves they forget that it’s the children that suffer
My parents were the same. Too self absorbed to be parents. It's kinda sad that people shame women who are doing there vest, but give couples a pass just because they "provide a two-parent household."
@ Exactly. I remember as a kid I told my mom I’d have preferred if they’d gotten divorced. Would’ve spared me all pain and trauma of watching them
Sounds like my parents but never got divorced and my mom is still living with my toxic dad. I had to move to anothet country to get away from them.
South Korea also does not allow a Single person who is not married to adopt children. Which would be difficult for women who are not married to adopt a Korean baby
Yes. That’s something I didn’t mention because I assumed it would be super clear that that couldn’t happen~~
It depends. There are two types of adoption process in south korea, and when the birthparents agree with adoption, they don't ask anything. I wonder why people here only have B&W information about south korea, but then they say like it's the only fact.
Yes, fore example Sayuri with her son.
I think that's smart because not everyone who wants to adopt a baby is a good person and that child that they adopt even if it's in good faith more often than not will want to seek out their birth parents or have a hard time coping with only having one parent. It's selfish that people make that decision just cause they think it's right or ok.
@tiffanykim2773 girl what. a child would much rather have one parent than no parents. are you forgetting that children who in the position of being adopted have no parents (either by death or by abandonment)?? that is the center of their situation
There is nothing more damaging to children than being raised in a household that is unstable/parents do not have a good relationship. I grew up in household where parents were just together because there was stigma with divorcing. I had to spend a hung chunk of my 20s just recovering for that. Aftermath of that is family is very superficial and broken on the inside and to me there is no strong tie to the family.
Oh no. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that :( must have been so hard. But I’m glad that you were able to overcome it. Many people aren’t able to do that
Yeah for some reason people don't recognize that you can have two married sh*tty parents who create a hellscape family life. Id rather have one parental figure that can support me love protect me raise me in a loving environment with a great extended family support system than have two parents who aint worth dust.
@@BrynneMuirwell, let me respectfully disagree with you. As a single parent my child has actually thanked me for making it so he doesn’t have to live with his dad. I was so sad to hear him say that, but considering i divorced his dad when he was 2, I wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t about happiness, it was legit for our mental safety. The mental damage that man does to our child when he is in his custody just 4 days a month cannot be quantified, but requires therapy for my son to readjust. No way are you going to tell me my son would be better off having to live like that every day, never having a mental safe space.
@@sha2596my current situation. Left when my daughter was 18 months and she’s also in therapy. Two parent homes does not equate to a better upbringing just because there are two people.
Damn, this is my exact experience to a T. I'm 38 years old. My parents should have divorced at least 30 years ago. They were simply not meant to be together. They stayed together however because neither could survive on their own. My family is so broken, everyone resents each other and I've spent a big part of my life just trying to NOT be like either of my parents. Every time I'm out in public, I have to consciously remind myself not to act like them.
I am a divorced parent and happen to be a teacher here in seoul. I see soo many of my students who have both parents, but are fighting constantly, not sleeping in the same room, or not living together. When my students ask why I divorced, I tell them that I wanted my kids to see a healthy relationship, not fighting all the time, etc. They are almost always dumbfounded that that's the reason because their parents constantly fight. I absolutely dont think you should be encouraging 2-parent households without encouraging some sort of routine couples therapy or healthy relationship discussions. The korean people that I see are married and miserable. I think staying married for the sake of 'saving face' is not feasible or mentally healthy in the long run. I'm loving that the future in korea is (slowly) heading towards an acceptance of therapy too.
Think she was clear when she said “healthy relationships” and households. Kids are bound to have a better development when they are in a two parent household, that has an healthy environment.
@ameliamiranda1356 but she also makes it seem like it's as simple as pick better. Truth is you never know a person until they show you who they really are. And in an environment like skorea where they strive to be the perfect example on the surface, their closets are full of skeletons and you're already 2 kids into a marriage and it all falls apart.
I live in a country where there's no shame in being a single mom or being divorced. There are still people who choose to stay in relationships that make them miserable - some aren't even married, and just some of those miserable couples are raising children together. It has more to do with human behaviour. A lot prefer to be in a relationship even though they are miserable than to live a single life.
Therapy is western psychological poison. Stop trying to propagate a godless religion that takes the ability to think for yourself away.
Korea has a lot of deep rooted centuries old strifes, there’s no need to add more crap to that
@@Mizwanderer1989I have seen that
I have seen the video about the "Baby Box" It is heartbreaking...but I admire the Pastors, doctors and the people that volunteer to take care of the babies and their mothers in many cases. Worth watching.
Pastor Lee is the pastor known for bringing them there. He was shown in the picture with the baby boxes that Meghan shown in this post. He is so worth looking up. The stuff they do there is amazing. He is one of the reasons laws are starting to change.
It's really sad but it's much better for people to send unwanted babies there than burying them in a mountain or freezer :(
You have mastered the art of respectfully giving you opinion. Well said!
Love your content! 👌
And she doesn't overshare information about her personal life.
This idea of having to pay your parents back for bringing you into this world and raising you is utterly unfair. No child consented to being here. This expectation places an unnecessary pressure on an already suffering child and creates resentment in most cases. Yes, the ideal model is to grow in a healthy family, but a necessary separation is the lesser of two evils. What pains me the most is that children are usually the ones suffering the consequences of actions they did not cause themselves! My aunt once told me, your mother changed your diapers and fed you and there comes a time where you have to return the favor. There's a vast difference between being forced to do something and willingly choosing to do it usually because there's mutual respect, unconditional love and freedom of choice. The motivation behind that speaks volumes! I personally would never place my mother in a nursing home and if she needed medical support, I would provide it at home in a safe and familiar environment because that's what she has provided for me. She's always loved me for who I am, was patient and never expected anything in return not even my love. If the parents have built a good relationship with their children, they won't have to worry. Thank you Megan for yet another informative video! I really respect your opinion and stance on this subject both as a woman and as a mom.❤
Thank you for your comment. But yes I also agree with you on that stance. A lot of Korean people were gaslit into believing that unfortunately. So it’s not just something they do out of love for the parents. But more something they feel extremely guilty if they are unable to do :( it’s sad to see people struggling with that. There is a monk here in Korea. He said. We don’t pay back our parents for birthing us. We pay it forward by raising our kids. All animals are like that. My parents raised me so I raise my kids. That’s why it’s important that parents are fulfilled in their life and don’t expect the kids to bring happiness. I’ve seen so many entitled parents here unfortunately :( they don’t realize that they are messing up their kids lives :(
@@MrsMeganMoon That monk spoke the truth. Nature is our best guide and teacher in life. I once heard a mother say to her child, I was born in order to meet you.
You all are very unaware of what's happening in all these human societies. Everything you hear and know about, they are happing for a reason, and it pains me that no one knows bc it has been so normalized. We somehow think we are not biological animals like all the other animals on the planet and that unlike the other animals, WE are excluded from biological behavior. We are not. We are operating from biology every minute of everyday. The problem is we are operating on the WRONG biology.
The demand of care in old is a MALE biology. Just like they demand women be submissive, women cook and clean, demand sex, demand relationships, demand to be the leader when they are poor leaders, demand loyalty, demand love, they demand care. All the things that are entirely based on choices have now been made a REQUIREMENT. Your mother, a normal mother, one not severely infected with the mind virus of the male ideology, or severely traumatized by it, would never DEMAND care in old age, would namevwe make it a requirement for you to care for her. Instead she loved you so much and so thoroughly, and so deeply that you wouldn't be able to stand being apart from her in her dwindling years.
Since the advent of these male creatures, I promise you, women have not known what true love is because that is the love between mother and child. If you've ever experienced true love from your mother, it will bring tears to you just thinking about it. And when you witness one, it will make you feel ethereal as you are flooded imworh emotions
But the males, in their beastly hunger for whatever drives them to need women, they coopted that pure ethereal love for themselves, hence relationships. Women are giving their motherly love to their romantic partner and bc there love is SPLIT, women CANNOT love their children the way they were designed to.
That's partly why the world is ducking miserable, children are traumatized and going no contact with their mothers.
Of course you don't owe your mother anything but she showed you enough love that you WOULD do it.
We are operating on the biology of the WRONG gender. And we are going to be miserable in a corrupt world as long as we don't switch BACK.
Hello. You will stop feeling guilty when you will have your own children and see how easy it is to love them and care for them. You will not think for a minute they own you something because it is a privilege and a joy to be a parent. In that moment you will realize how wrong and selfish they are.
@ Correct me if I’m wrong, but looking at your name I’m guessing you’re a fellow Greek? Either way, I was also going to add that we really and I mean really love children and most of us usually make fairly good parents and thus, grandparents however, being a good parent isn’t limited to a specific nation.
The thing about the French and Europeans not getting married is that these are not single parents. The parents are together. They just don’t get married. One of my French friends parents have been together for 40 years. Never married. Just was not important to them and there’s very little societal pressure to get married.
Men want marriage because it ensures thry gave a srx machine forever
I know people thar love each other but don’t get married. It ia usually to protect one another from theire respective families who are rude and entitled and would probably ruin the marriage ceremony out of envy and how would put pressure on the spouse after marriage for financial, domestic and emotional care. It is a form to f protection and it is sad some people cant do what they want because of relatives.
Same here in Australia, they are recognised as a 'defacto couple' same as married for tax and law purposes.
As a 33yrs old French (Congolese with origins) woman that is not married, I feel 0 pressure to get married from society in general. The pressure comes more from my mum. If she hadn't started mentioning it, I would have not really thought about it. Funny thing is, my brother is 27 and he just got married, no body ever told him he had to do it lol
@Petronole I think for us women it's much harder because we a time limit 🥺 that's why many are choosing to freeze their eggs but that option is not possible for most.🤍
Currently an English teacher in Korea and the other day one of my more rowdy 5th graders came into class teasing another student (not one of my students) for not having a mom. I don’t actually think it was true about the other student, but that class got a big earful about how we do NOT make jokes like that and if someone doesn’t have one or both parents, we will NEVER treat them any differently.
I am particularly passionate about orphan care, so this is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart.
Thank you Megan for touching on it in this video with the ghost babies and baby box section! Would love a video taking about the orphanage system in Korea and the stigmas that these kids face. As well as what is being done to help them. It’s truly heartbreaking, but there are some great organizations in Korea doing amazing work! Two great organizations are Oak Tree Project and Love Beyond the Orphanage
I was raised by a single mom with a high income and stable job. My situation was different from most kids under single parent households because my mom was able to provide everything, so I didn’t really have problems BUT I hated how condescending people were with her and me “Oh poor her, she is a single mom🥹” “Oh you are the child who is ignored by that person” EVEN THOUGH MY MOM HAD A SUCCESSFUL CAREER AND I WAS DOING FINE so and so…I was never bullied but yes I was pitied which I don’t know if it’s worse.
I’ve never needed my father, but people were always bringing him up and making me feel like I was a victim. I’ve never missed him, never wanted him around because he was never there. But people kept pushing me to have a relationship with him even though I didn’t want to (even my mom insisted me on talking to him despite telling her I didn’t care for him)
I wish people just did what children want, ask them how they feel and what they want to do
As someone that has lived in Korea and now lives in France, the high rate of babies born out of wedlock in France is a bit taken out of context, when you know French culture, like really know it, you will realise most kids born in France are not born to single parents, they are born to 2 parents that are in a relationship, fully, I have yet to see kids born to a single parent before, I know they exist but I haven't seen it (yes, there are single parents in France, though it's mostly after kids are born and usually from a couple breaking up after), but I'd say the majority of kids are born to parents in a relationship, they aren't married, but they are legally tied to each other in a way. In France there is a type of legal common law coupleship called a PACS, it stands for pacte civile de solidarité, it's a legal civil union contract, it's technically not marriage, but I'd say a good portion of long-term relationships in France are PACS, socially it is almost seen the same as marriage, they will call each other husband and wife or wife and wife, you get the point, and I'd say 80% of those 64% of kids "born out of wedlock" are to couples that have signed a PACS, and to me that distorts the whole ratio a lot just because the couples aren't legally married, they are still legally bound in a way. I will say though that legal access to a child is not covered in the PACS, so if the child isn't blood related to you, is adopted, you both have to adopt the child or adopt the child of the other PACS person (like if you're a gay or lesbian PACS couple), or be married, so most gay and lesbian couples tend to be married when children are involved just so that both parents have legal rights over the kids
Okay but you’re just guessing based on your personal experience of what would be a relatively small sample size.
Yeah, here in the Netherlands we have older mothers but that means you are more secure and the baby is likely to be planned. I think we don't particularly care if they are married or not but that no one should remain together for the kids.
I'm glad my parents got divorced, my life would have been worse if he had stuck around. But I was raised by my mom, a stay at home mom, and my godmom was there every single day doing everything moms do and my grandma was there all the time too. So I had no lack of caring stable adults raising me. I always say I had two moms eventhough they were friends , not in a relationship. All you need is a loving home. I never had to wonder if I was cared for. That is due to government support though my father didn't pay his child support our government didn't make that our problem.
Hi! in your comment you wrote that you have a godmom and she left a positive impact in your life. I'm the godmom of my bestfriends son. He 2 yrs old now. Do you have any advice on how i should be there for him as he gets older? I really love that little dude and I want to do the best I can to help raise him and be there for him.
@@Petronole Well one of the ways that I think our system worked out was that my mom and godmom and anyone else were on the same line about rules. This will not always be the case with everyone but in our system it meant we were never confused, bedtimes were strict and one didn't spoil us more than the other.
For most godparents they will not be there every day and so a bit of spoiling isn't an issue. Little kids don't understand world like " I love you" what they feel instead is an adult who knows how their parents take care of them, like knowing their bedtime routine, how far the bedroom door has to be cracked as they sleep, what lights have to be on or off. That makes them feel safe and that the person cares and loves them.
As he gets older you can have sleepovers and reduce the load on the mom. You can be another adult the child can confide in, sometimes kids share things easier with a non parent, like about bullying in school. Be kind and understanding. And of course keep him safe, from parents too if you have to. Sadly that is sometimes needed.
In my case my godmom was the gentler more playful parent while my mom was the diciplinarian more. But they had a lot of fun together.
Funny how women are the ones who always advocate for single motherhood.
I wouldn't call myself conservative on pretty much anything, but you are spot on with the baby mama/baby daddy culture in America. It's missing a huge part of my own childhood in that my parents were together, but broke up, however they were mature enough that they didn't argue like you see all of the time. My never bad talked each other or argued in front of us and most of all my father was very much involved in my life. Like so much so I probably never went a month without being exclusively with him. I understand why some people don't want to get married, but what I don't understand is having kids when you know good and well you aren't going to stay together with your partner and you aren't emotionally ready for the child. It reflects so badly on the child. It's so much better to be happy together with before having kids too. Also, as a testament to the importance of emotional maturity, when I was conceived and born my mom wasn't ready for another child, but until she told me about it a few years ago I couldn't tell and still can't.
Thanks for sharing. I’m glad your parents seemed mature and handled it well for you. Such a blessing
@MrsMeganMoon Thank you and it really is a blessing for me.
I'm not sure that people do it intentionally. I think people hope for the best in a relationship and it doesn't always work out. People end up being different from what they present themselves as. I was with my husband for a year, we had our first daughter and moved away. I was pregnant with my second daughter and we moved back to the town my parents lived in because I wanted the community. I was 8 months pregnant with our second daughter when I opened the mail to discover child support paperwork demanding my husband come address paternity/ support at our local social services office. He was cheating on me when I was pregnant with our first child and had convinced me to move across the country in an attempt to cover up this other child he made with another lady. I tried for 2 years to make things work but it was useless because I had already glimpsed behind his mask. I knew he was willing to lie to me for months about very important matters, that he didn't feel loyalty towards me, that any chores or tasks he requested me to do for his benefit and he had no concern for my wellbeing.
I could continue to let hatred fester below the surface or I could attempt a new life as a single mother. Ultimately I decided I would prefer to be alone rather than in poor company, and we divorced. Once he realized I was not romantically interested in him anymore, he moved away and slowly distanced himself from my girls. Now he calls them maybe once a year if even that. I don't know what else I could have done, at 18 years old, to have made things any different. My life has had hard times and good times, and I have been lucky enough to find a marvelous man to share my journey with who is loyal and appreciates me. Unfortunately now we are experiencing infertility and now that I have found love and support and a healthy relationship, I may not be able to give him the gift of being a father. It's a cruel joke from the universe.
Youth really is wasted on the young
@rachel_Cochran Oh, of course there's people like that and I absolutely wasn't talking about your situation because as you are saying life be lifeing and sometimes people are way different from what and who they present themselves as. Being a single parent and a good one at that is way better than being in a toxic environment not only for the kids, but I think to some extent, you more importantly.
I'm sad that happened to you and I wish all the best for you continuing forward.
Babies change the dynamics of the relationship. And sometimes expose it. If the couple were unstable before and chose to overlook it, it becomes to ignore once a baby is born.
. I think the lack of comprehensive sex ed and individualism are factors as to why it’s become more normalized. But still I’d rather have a single parent doing their best than two parents in a toxic situation with a baby. Korea is a whole other ballgame and it’s always interesting to hear about the societal differences ❤
Right. And it’s also economically harder to raise a kid especially alone in Korea. Not just higher cost of living in general if you have a kid, but because of the highly competitive education system there compared to the West. It’s like even if you try to ignore, you would feel lots of pressure (once your kid starts entering school) to give your child the education every other kid receives that you “think” they deserve for an improved learning. Because of the societal factors you mentioned, parents get judged based on their children's achievements, behavior, as well as the education they get. I think you even get judged for being a single parent, which is nothing to be ashamed of. But that being said sending a kid to like 5-10 hagwons (academies) while they attend school will cost lots of tuition. On top of that, limited health care options. No wonder, the birth rate’s declining. It’s hard.
I think that a legal adult should be able to start a family under their own name. I would rather a child have a single parent that feels like they are doing ok. Than have a ghost baby that nobody know if they are alive, dead, being abused, etc. At the end of the day that child is a SK citizen and is entitled to to all the benefits that the rest of the residents/ citizens receive.
Yeah cuz what about adoption
People end up having to adopt younger relatives all the time. It’s just strange these laws
35 years ago I became pregnant with my partner of just a few months. An “oops” baby. My partner wanted us to get married but I wasn’t sure he was the one for me at that moment. My parents disowned me because he was not from the same racial group. I was fortunate to be financially self sufficient, so if we broke up I could manage independently. I told him that if he wanted me to abort he could walk away and I would never contact him.
We stayed together as partners on the basis that if it didn’t work out he would have an active role in raising the child ie shared custody. We married 2 years later after we lived together and we found that we were compatible and happy together. I did bear some social stigma but more because the child was mixed race than because of being a single parent. I fortunately had a couple of friends who rallied around me. The parents also eventually came around.
I am glad I waited because I never ever felt he stayed for the child, I was certain he wanted to be married to me and raise our family together. And he was secure that I made an informed decision to stay with him because he was the right life partner for me.
Average Western Degen
Why were you having sex with someone you felt was not right for you?
That one right there we need answers@@BroJo676
@@BroJo676 Why do you think that's your business?
@@HunterSayzRWAR It became my business when the storyteller made it public.
Also, it’s a matter of accountability. If you choose to have sex with someone whom you feel is unreliable, you’re being just as irresponsible because you’re setting yourself up for failure or a complicated situation you’re not braced enough.
MEGAN STAHP GIRL!! Less than a minute in and dying with your animated story telling. I LOVE IT( & let me just add its not "animated" but your mannerisms are so entertaining. I could listen to all the stories!)
She wilding out!!!!
My favorite content creator 😍❤ I’ll never not watch one of your videos. Literally save your videos for break and lunch at work.
Thanks so much~~ I appreciate the support ❤
1:12 Being born out of wedlock is not the same as being born to a single parent. For example, in Iceland lots of couples don't see the point of getting married even if they live together and have kids together.
There’s almost no benefit to getting married there. Relationships are more honest. Women have complete autonomy legally. Men are raised to be self-sufficient. It’s very similar to how things were pre-the forced expansion of Christianity.
I have been watching you for many many years now Megan. I don’t usually comment on videos, but just want to let you know that I have been loving these podcast type videos lately. Feels like I am talking to an older sister (I’m an only child) and I also have a Korean MIL. I am mexican-american and learning more about Korean culture helps me understand my family dynamic better.
Thank you for the hard work!
Agree! I love these videos! (...and the cooking ones too.) 🤩
Is it only me, or is it so unfair and misogynistic that only single mums are stigmatized and not the men who got them pregnant?
Even after they divorce ,or even if they are married, the parents can take care of the child they had together and give him/her a happy life if they truly want to as long as they prioritize it's needs, being in wedlock is not mandatory for this to happen. The problem is that usually the pair is irresponsible with contraception and becomes pregnant without truly wanting to have a child, abortion is stigmatized, so you end up with people unwilling and unprepared to take the responsibility of raising a child.
I pointed out the sexism in my comment. Also please take into consideration that often it's men who avoid using condoms. Women face stigma still for buying in many areas. Birth control pills for some women cause other health issues. Over and over society reorganizes itself to privilege men and blame women.
I feel the same as you do . I hope Korea starts relaxing a bit. You are so level headed ❤
Yey! New Video! Thank you for your hard work
❤❤❤❤
I didn't know about the ghost babies. That made me sad. Thank you for another educational video Megan. 💙💙
I don’t know how I found myself on your channel but I’m so happy because you’ve become my favorites. I love learning about cultures and I really like how you explain things. Love your channel.!!!
I love these informative videos so much, especially when they connect to some current events in popular culture. It’s fun to learn so thank you for making them! ❤
(You look stunning in that dress btw!)
The baby mama epidemic in the US is crazy & so sad
It's just gonna get worse though.
@@greglane501 Americans have spread it across the globe
Baby factory?
The r@pe culture that’s brewing and the already lack of accountability on fathers will make this sooo horrible. And age of consent laws are dropping the age limit. College is becoming less accessible. Kids are having to pick up more jobs while in school to support their parents and siblings.
An entire population of desperate young people. Sounds like good soldiers and manual labor
I can’t stand baby mama culture. It is not good for the child in the slightest. The line at 2:26 is so crazy to me, that people think having a kid is not commitment. It’s a whole human please be so fr. I already have a distaste for hook up culture but if you are going to do it, why be selfish and quite literally bring a child into the equation? Be cautious not only for yourself but also the potential of another single parent having child being brought into this world. We should support these women or men who are single parents, but we shouldn’t support this behavior and mindset of “marriage is a bigger commitment than kids” wow
Thank you!!
I always say it’s easier to say yes and get married than have a kid. Children are a bigger commitment and it seems like not everyone shares this sentiment
@ I’m just glad others see how ridiculous and so not cute this is. Like Megan moon said, there are honestly 1 too many songs glorifying baby
mama-ism. It ain’t cute in the slightest, nor is ur sexy, and honestly just sets yourself and child up for failure.
@@zakiyamohammed2426 Exactly! Not only songs but movies as well promoting this distasteful behavior! And then we have these celebrities & rappers who glorify it by having a slew of women getting pregnant for them.
I am single mom of two and bringing them up by myself, they are in their thirties with very good jobs, I make sure they both go to university. I am 60 working in accountants. I live in Australia
❤
I’m agree with you that children do better in a healthy two parent household. With that being said, I also agree that the center of the family is the couple/marriage not the children. When the parents love each other and have a strong foundation that in return produces strong kids. Being married just to say you’re married doesn’t mean the kids are better off. Seeing the discourse between their parents will actually give them mental health issues and more than likely put them off from wanting to be married in the future. Knowing this is why more people need to practice safe sex at all times and make better choices with who they have sexual active with.
Yeah, it takes a village to raise a child. I don't even think kids need two parents who are romantically involved or married, as long as they have trustworthy and caretaking adults in their lives. A kid can have two parents and no caretakers, believe me... As a teacher I see it a lot and it's heartbreaking.
I love videos like these! Please continue to make them Megan. I am from the States too, so it's pretty common to see single mothers more often, then single dads. Regardless, I do believe that it is okay to raise a child in a single parent household. What's important is that the child grows up in a loving, supportive, and healthy home and that can be achieved with just 1 parent.
Omg! I was going to ask about your take on single mothers but I figured you would never see my comment! And yet here that video is. Thank you for the resesarch!
I am from Italy and here (with the exception of very small rural realities) nobody cares if you have a child outside marriage if you are in a stable longterm relationship. The majority of young people don't get married and just live together and the law has recognized that putting those couples on the same rights as married couples. However having a child with someone who you don't have any relationship with (hook up mistakes) is still considered very bad
Love your outfit ❤
❤❤❤❤❤ thanks so much
I find this social and culturural videos you’ve been doing recently absolutely fascinating! So informative too
I always appreciate your sensible takes.
16:49 in Latin America old school people and some young have that mentality ,of paying back your parents for been your parent and having to do what a responsible parent shoudl do, which is to raise their kids. These parents and family member will guilt their kids/ grandkids, ect, into thinking that they are ungrateful if they dont or can't.
I woudn't say "some young" but
"a lot of", more exactly in more conservative countries in latinamerica
obsessed with these videos, i hope you keep doing them :)
I am the product of baby mama/ baby daddy culture here in America but my situation was a little different. My parents were never together and my mom was told she was infertile so I am her first and last child she has ever had. In my fathers case Im the third eldest out of 20 (possible) kids. My mom had told my dad from the very beginning that if he was not inclined to be in my life or did not want me that he could leave. If that was the case she had planned on not telling me who he was until I was 18. He lied to her and said he wanted to be there and ever since I was born it has always been just me and my mom and the village. I am now 25 years old and realize that Im beyond thankful my parents never got together because even at a younger age I recognized that my biological father was and is not a good person. Im thankful for my godfather who stepped up as my father figure who is sadly no longer alive. Im thankful for my uncles stepping up. For my stepdad stepping up. Although I did not have my biodad I still was able to luckily have a dad. Its very rare for women to find a group of people that will step in and help but my mother made sure she made up in the places that she could.
Wonderful Megan, on line attacks can be brutal over there which is scary. Continue dong more of these topics it’s good to learn , knowledge is power.
This is so off topic but your hair looks incredible 😍 such an important topic and I’m so glad you’re giving a platform on it but the hair really looks great I had to say some something!
When I saw the title I immediately thought of Sayuri, a japanese celebrity living in Korea. She wanted a child, but wasn't in a relationship, so she had her son Zen through IVF, using sperm from a spermbank in Europe, because as a single woman she wasn't eligible to get it in Korea or Japan (if I recall correctly, don't quote me on that). I think she is setting a great example of single parenting in Korea.
I agree with you Meghan on the points you were making :) Thanks for bringing awareness to this issue, it's an important one for everyone to hear - not just Koreans.
@Mrs.MeganMoon could you discuss how/what South Korea thinks about learning disabilities and how children are helped and/or hindered as a result of their learning issues?
So excited for this video. I love knowing the intricacies of a culture
Unsure how people can espouse removing the stigma of single motherhood while still saying that “baby mama culture” is bad. The ONLY way to remove the stigma of single motherhood is to promote it, encourage it, and realize it’s the only way to address the perceived “birth rate issue” while still leaving any room for feminism and progress on gender equality.
I’m a single mother by choice via donor, clinic and contract, and I believe single motherhood should be glorified because it is genuinely so amazing to be in control of the entire process from start to finish. No broken home, no fighting, no trying to decide who should have the final say.
Plenty of messed up people coming from 2 parent homes, so this is clearly just a way to make poor people feel like they have a path to success even when their kids are deprived of everything but a father.
It’s well past the time to stop saying “children need a mom and a dad” when it’s just not true. We have to stop saying kids need 2 parents in general to thrive, again because it’s just not true. Because WHERE you raise your kids has way more to do than the structure of the household.
My kids growing up with a single mother in a fancy NYC suburb going to Montessori school are way better off than 2 parents in rural KY doing home schooling from their van.
Humanity is way more complex than this dichotomy. Stop feeding into it.
These are getting to be my favorite videos!!! I love our new Sociology lessons 😅❤
Hi Megan! Happy Holidays to you and your family. 🎄💚❤
Happy holidays ❤❤❤
a lot of people assume that kids don't know anything when they are young but they actually have a very good grasp of household dynamics at a young age, i've even learned they have a concept of death by 2. kids definitely know what's going on.
i cried sooo hard watching the baby box movie that i haven’t been able to watch it again. thank god for such selfless kind people.
also as a 35 year old korean american that doesn’t keep up with korean media anymore, i was aghast that jung woo sung has a baby mama 😭 i loved him so much in a moment to remember lol
When I was around 10 or 11 my younger sister and I discussed it and made our parents sit down at the table to formally request that they break up, because they fought all the time and we thought they would be happier that way. My mom just laughed it away and 10 years and another kid later he finally left.
Before being attacked (2degree humor) after only one minute of video, my French brain went ''but I just want a baby, not clean for a man...'' so well... It can be difficult to live with a man and it's not as financially dramatic to be a single mom either, it's not that hard to find affordable childcare compared to other countries. It's out of subject but a lot of men are asking for shared custody and they become better people and fathers through it as they are put in a situation where they are alone with their child. Personally, I grew up with parents screaming and breaking stuff almost daily, having to hide in a room with the pets until it stopped, and a mom using me as an excuse not to divorce, she made it my fault when it was never the case. and she always worked more than my dad, she does 66% of the house income or more and 85% of the cleaning and cooking still to this day. But my mom is from an ethnic and strict family so it can explain her behavior. Shared custody may make the parents less aggressive, a few women told me that they became more patient with their kids as they were less tired and could focus more on a career, social life, and health as the dad had no choice when it was his week to care for the children. Some would be full of regret '''he is being the dad I wished he was when we were together''. French people are not really religious too (no president is gonna promise anything while putting his hand on a bible, it would be scandalous), so marriage loses some power and marriage is expensive too, some people would rather save that money for themselves, life is getting expensive. I had a female teacher who got married at 60yo cause her life partner had adult children from a previous marriage and if they didn't get married, if her partner died first, the kids could throw her out of the house as it was her partner's propriety, so they were forced to marry for succession rights. PACS is easier to do than mariage, less paperwork and not much money to spend but when it comes to succession, marriage is better. I know a few men who are married 2 or 3 times making single mothers over and over. It's quite embarrassing to ger married just to divorce in a few years. My friend was ashamed, she got pregnant 2 months after meeting the dad and they broke up 2 years later but who care, she was 35yo and the kid see both parents and grandma every single week. They love their little girl, I don't like the guy as a person but he is obvious a good dad like my friend is a good mom, and yes it was hard for months for the little girl, she cried a lot and now, she doesn't care.
I personally don't believe a child NEEDS to have both a mother and a father in the house. They just needs support; emotionally, mentally, finacially, etc. I believe the reason a lot people feel like children need this "nuclear" family is because others make the parents and child feel bad for not having or being part of that. It's stigmatized. There are different types of families, and as long as they're loving adults surrounding the child, I believe they'll be a balanced individual. Having a mother and a father doesnt guarantee that. Although you did mention that as long as the parents are on the same page, nurturing, and caring so I dont disagree with you there. There's a reason there's the saying "It takes a village to raise a child".
And I also agree that people should be responsible when sleeping around. No shame in it, just be responsible and picky with who you give yourselves to. For both men and women. I hope I was able to articulate myself correctly.
Well said, totally agree! Healthy families consist of different types not necessarily a mother and father to be happy.
it takes two to create a child. It’s a child’s right to have two to raise them.
@@celestialmorpho You're absolutely correct, but the child is not doomed if they're not raised by the two that created them. They are not less worthy of love and respect and nobody is needs to pity them as long as they have other adults that are fulfilling their mental, emotional, physical, etc requirements. They should be treated like any other child that has both parents.
@@celestialmorpho Who said it should be the ideal goal? Because this society says so? There are many different types of societies today and throughout time. They all did not only consist of two parents, some 3, 4, or even 1. And what makes you think this is a disadvantage for the child?
The idea of an "ideal" family will always make someone, especially a child, feel like they are missing something or their family is "broken".
@ wow. ok nevermind. if you don’t see value in stable families as they’re intended then we won’t be able to have a conversation. there are societies that practice horrific things including muti/lation and child sa/cri/frice. What other societies do don’t matter and not all cultures are the same or morally equivalent. Also notice how you mentioned families with more than two parents and not less. It takes a village. That includes mother and father and extended family. If a child has only one caretaker that also has to financially provide then they’re emotional needs are much less likely to be met because the only care taker they have is not present. Presence matters. Check out Erica Komisar. She’s a psychoanalyst.
I'm enjoying these Social issues in Korea. They peak my psychology background. You do a good job explaining and from different vantage points.
I was raised by a single mom with my two siblings! Every day I wonder how she could deal with us three, a job, a house, and manage the stress!
I couldn’t imagine living in a society that, on top of this difficult situation, would make it even harder for her! 😢
I feel so bad for the many single moms in the world who are judged by society, but I almost feel sadder for those who stay in abusive/loveless relationships just for optics/appearances.
Your video is well put together and your opinions are very sensible. Agree.
When I was getting my sociology degree I had to take a class about families and the statistics showed it was almost always better to divorce than stay in a marriage for the kids.
Thank you for this video. Imagine your country's birthrate is the lowest on the planet and you have on top of that infants dying on your watch. Hopefully it will get better. Before knowing about ghost babies in Korea I once watched a documentary about low birth in the country with my grandmother and she said in a conversational tone, the country is cursed because the ghosts of their children can't find peace. Older folks really freak me out sometimes.
I really appreciate your videos always!!
Megan!!😊 I am enjoying this new content! I love Korean culture as a whole and I enjoy these topics! I am currently learning Korean however my Korean is not yet where it should be YET to consume content in Korean. ❤
Hey Megan. Thanks for your intakes. You are my TH-cam big sister, I'm a 33yrs old French woman . I've been watching for a while now. Your videos give me a better prospective to life as a woman.
My best friend had a baby a little after you. The way you spoke about your pregnancy help me understand her better and be there for her. As of now I've gone through 2 surgeries for my fertility issues.
The video you made speaking about your situation helped me. I don't know how but it made me realize that it wasn't given to just get pregnant easily. So when my doctor gave me the news I was prepared and just focused on a solution. So thanks.
And also thanks for the video about marriage begin a duty. It was eye opening for me.
Although I haven't found my person yet, It gave me a better perspective of what to look for and how I should also do better. Over all, you've been a positive influence in my life.
(The longest comment I've ever written on the internet lol )
5:15. That's why if you ask some older people (pre 1975), a lot of them don't know the actual DATE of their birth. A lot of Korean parents didn't Register the baby's birth until many months or years later. 1. Because there was no mandate. 2. Traveling to the city hall to register it takes time if you live far from Seoul or if you are poor and Don't have transportation to Seoul because pre 1990's Korea did not have the awesome public transportation that they have now. Or, they have to work 60 hours a week. Aka a lot of farmers. Or, you just Don't care since there was no law saying there is a deadline to register the birth. Sorry for typos. I'm in a car. Not driving. Passenger.
Omg great coverage on this topic and let's just take a second on how AMAZING that dress looks on you!
Hello Megan and family, merry Christmas and happy new year to you and your lovely family 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️👋
Learning alot and enjoying your deep dive videos Mrs. Moon!❤
NOT THE MAURY EDIT!!! 💀💀💀
I've been a subscriber for a long time, but I don't really comment. I just want to say that I completely agree with everything that you said. My partner is Korean, and some of his friends are in a marriage for the kids but are living miserable lives. I honestly feel bad for everyone involved but I especially feel bad for the kids. I grew up in the same environment where my mom married my dad because she was pregnant. Dad was a walking red flag and was honestly barely in our lives even when they're married. Now, my siblings and I don't plan on ever getting married because of what we experienced growing up and still going through it until today (mom is very old school and religious so doesn't want to divorce). So for people out there, think carefully before you decide.
Definitely wish my parents would have just broken up. My mom informed me multiple times that if it wasn’t for the kids she would have been left him. I do feel like the old ppl have a point in that it does take more than money to raise a kid. So hopefully when he says he’ll “take responsibility” that means he will help finically and actually be a parent to the child as well.
I love these videos. Need more crazy mom in law videos 😂
Ok. I will give more of those also
YAY NEW VID ❤
What I can't wrap my head around is why it is always the mother getting the most heat when she is the one doing her part and taking care of the kid instead of the absent father. It takes two to make one, so where is the dad's criticism? I am tired of pure ignorance and idiotic bafoons constantly being rude to the mothers like they got themselves pregnant.
love love love your videos!
I've known too many ppl that are staying married because of their kids and the reason is always for the kids. I mean your children can see and feel if you're unhappy. You want your kids happy but you want to be a happy adult too...in a fulfilling relationship. Sigh
As a childfree married woman I feel there’s a stigma the other way around too by choosing marriage without children (I live in Europe so slightly less stigma here but it’s still there).
As a person born and raised in a nordic country which is considered one of the happiest countries in the world. The statistics of babies born out of wedlock is true, it's very common. That does not mean that they are born to single parents or not have a good environment to grow up in. It's very common for couples to just get engaged, buy a house and start a family without getting married. I know in many countries you get tax benefits, when for example buying a house, and that's a reason people get married. In my country those kind of benefits does not exist, if you are couple it's considered the same as being married in many ways. Engagement are taken very seriously tho, and many stay engaged for many many years and then maybe get married later on in life when they feel like having a party and the kids can be a part of the celebration. Very few kids are born to teen moms and good education and free contraception (up to a certain age) are reasons for that. Just a few points from a nordic person, many here live a so called "traditional" life but just skip the marriage part. 😊
That seems like the way to do it also. Not needing the institution of marriage. Just the couple who want to start a life and family together. Thanks for sharing
Yes!! someone with common sense without being judgmental. Thank you.
Randomly saw your channel. I like your energy! More grease to your elbow!!
Such a hard topic to cover and you did great. I'm a "Single Mom by Choice" (sperm bank) and it makes me so sad when people assume a two parent household is more important for a child than a loving one. I am happy for couples like you and Mr. Moon, who respect and love each other. The joy you both take in your children is felt through the screen and you can see how loved they feel. :) I am also happy for the joy I feel in my children and how open they are with their feelings, communicating with me and each other about boundaries and emotions. Children need people who love them without question, unconditionally, whether that is a parent, a grandparent or the village. I have told my kids since birth "I love you forever, no matter what." and taught them that you can not like someone for something (or their actions in something) but still love them. I could ramble forever on this. Just remember that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about and be kind.
I'm the daughter of two loving parents who chose to split before I was born. I got to watch them find their own happiness and I couldn't have had better parents. I lived with my mom and went to my dad's house every other weekend the other weekend I would visit grandparents. Birthdays as a kid they did together not at either house. Summer Break (June-August) I went to whichever house I wanted, Sometimes they called dibs. Holidays were split or half days, for example Mom would have me during the morning then dad would have me afternoon.
Do I plan to do my best to give my future children a loving two parent household, Yes. But thanks to my parents I know to make my happiness a priority so that my own children will do same.
I wanna hear you speak Korean more Megan! I feel so proud. I remember watching your video when you were talking about learning. That’s why I’ll never forget chair in Korean lol! Iykyk
Hoping Korea can catch up with the times and make life more fulfilling for many types of families and lifestyles in time to make the most of the benefits!! Not holding my breath, but hopeful.
Video Idea! Megan, can you make a video talking about these “korean fortune tellers”? Like why would you go to them, what can they help you with, do they use crystals? horoscopes? tarot cards? are they legit? how do they become one? and maybe include a story or two about people who have used them. That mini story about your trainer stopped me in my tracks!
I was a single teenage mother in the 70s in the U.S. and it was not easy then but still easier then it is now in Korea. My parents never turned their back on me and it is horrible that most Koreans would turn their back on their children if they became pregnant because of shame. I also watched the documentary on the Baby Box a few years ago and it broke my heart. Koreans need to stop judging, stop focusing on plastic surgery, stop buying luxury items and start supporting each other or there will be no Korea in the future. The government is killing is own people by not changing the laws to protect single mothers and single fathers. My one and only child grew into a wonderful person. I did marry, late in life and just celebrated my 24th wedding anniversary. Thanks so much for sharing and wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Most Koreans do not get plastic surgery or buy a lot of luxury goods. It’s not your place to judge, especially when you are ignorant of the situation. Megan is a vlogger, not a credible new source.
@@jiminswriter4209 From news interviews I have seen Koreans buy the most luxury goods in the world along with having the most plastic surgeons. So why can't I have that opinion? Its sad that the Korean people can not rally around single parents instead of shaming them. And Megan never said anything about this.
I understand where you're coming from, however many folks in Korea are products of their environment and often have no choice but to participate in society's rat race. Not sure if it's still as prevalent nowadays, but about 5 years or so ago, I remember watching a documentary on how many people in Korea (mainly women, but some men too) are pressured by society to conform to beauty standards. Otherwise it could affect them getting a job since Korea requires people to have pictures of themselves in their job applications. If you're deemed unattractive, your chances of getting a job or into Uni is limited. Hence why it's not uncommon for parents to gift their children plastic surgery as a graduation gift, in order to improve their odds of getting work. This also falls in live with dressing fashionably and following current trends, which leads to buying of luxury items. They're a heavily conformist based society, much of Asia is (I'm part Indian) and these ideas run DEEP, like GENERATIONS deep and it's very difficult to step outside the box in a society that DOES NOT like individualism, without potential repercussions (affecting your career and education prospects). Things are changing, but it takes time.
@@sprocket8662 Koreans buy more luxury goods on average. Yes, but that does not mean most people buy lots of luxury goods. Korea is a Mecca for plastic surgery in the world with many patients coming from across the world. Most Koreans do not get surgery. Your opinion needs to be better informed. Many Koreans are supportive of single parents, but that doesn’t mean the stigma does not exist. Yes, Megan has commented on luxury goods in Korea.
My opinion it shouldn’t be embraced or stigmatized. We can’t encourage single parent households but we can’t make people feel worse for situations they’re in that the most likely did not plan.
Amen, no need to hate or celebrate. It shouldn't be normalized like in the west but we should not ostracize or stigmatize people for not coming together out of obligation (potentially creating an even more toxic household for the child).
Who on earth can’t we encourage? I say encourage.
@@kristinesharp6286 It shouldn't be encouraged. In America, 85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes. Korea is safe because they have a culture of strong family values. Having a child as a single parent is extremely selfish and unfair for the child.
Do you know how msny eomen die snd str raped and abused in marriages? Thats not a rhetorical question. I need an actuak answer. Do you knkw?
Is That's better??? Is it reslly better considering whst she said about the children product of marriages are MISERABLE?
so who is marriage actually serving if women and children are miserable
@@kristinesharp6286 I say hell no. I'm Black American and single parenthood is killing us. Do not even courage this crap.
Love your videos dear megan
I think embrace it. It shouldn't matter if the person is single or not. It's their body. Parenting is doing the right thing that YOU thought was right at the time. Parenting never came with a handbook.
I love the videos you've been releasing!!!!! keep them up!! : )
You have a bunch of options in France, like civil partnership (PACS), domestic partnership (created for homosexual couples I think), marriage, and even "concubinage" (legal mistress - usually a woman). These partnership statuses all have different rights attached to them. Marriage gives you the most rights / protections, but like, as a "mistress" you can get inheritance rights. There are differences in health rights (visitation/power of attorney), child custody, taxation, and even visa rights for a non-European partner.
Interesting topic!
Legal mistress???
I have never heard about that
how does it work?
Is it for open relations?
Well said!! 👏🏼
So have we forgot about women that were married when they got pregnant and the man decides not to take responsibility and divorces her before she has the child? Some single mothers, many single mothers actually are single mother due to that. Not because they had a child out of wedlock.
Another great post Megan 😁🎉
I've seen the baby box video, and you mentioning it brought tears to my eyes (just remembering the video).
So sad...
I'm so glad you have that wonderful voice!!
Another reason for its low birth rate. Can’t raise the rate if you constantly stigmatize it at the same time. I don’t get this story though. She is going to be a mom and he said he would still support his child. He ain’t running so I really don’t see the problem other than the cheating, if it is that. Could be an open relationship for all we know.
❤😂😮 let's go love this content serve that Tea
And yet they wonder why the birth rate is so low.....
Nobody is wondering why the birth rate is so low... I'm Korean, and myself and all my friends, are very, very, very aware of the reasons and how those reasons affect our lives, but that doesn't mean we're going to have kids just to raise a statistic.
@@mautrethat comment was rhetorical lol. It means it doesn't need an answer
@@ShielaM-p1w It wasn't phrased as a rhetorical question, it was written as an incorrect and false statement.
@@mautre what??? Wtf??? Wtf. What s horrible communication you have, unable to identify rhetorical statements. Do you even know what those are? I swear the more I talk to humans the more i hate humans.
Do you know what a rhetorical statement is?
All those European countries have a low birthrate too even if it's not to the same extent💀💀Number 2 is Bulgaria and they are NOT having children and actually conservative so it is surprising seeing them above countries more socially liberal, Italy is known as an open air retirement home (a lot of southern and eastern Europe too) and I've been learning about Germany's aging population since I was in 7th grade in Georgraphy class if not before and economists are worried too many Syrians will go back as they need the working hands. Even the US is sustaining itself through immigration as the citizens are not having enough kids, it's pure economics on why ppl are not having kids everywhere with the small splash of growing doomerism from the very well educated but pessimistic populations from climate change and other stuff making them not want children.
Your outfit looks so good ❤
Let's be so for real. Worldwide, people's moral standards have fallen into the toliet. Sleeping around, situationships, baby mama's/baby daddy's, brojem homes haven't help society improve one lick since this is becoming the norm. These younger generations are absolutely cooked. Don't normalize or enable this crap any further.