I agree. Hmong men needs to change their ancient mindset. I am happy to hear this niam tsev standing up for herself. Us women needs to be strong and love ourselve and know our self worth. This is why majority of our generations nowaday, we are seeing more hmong women dating/marrying out of race.
Txhob tu siab mog tus niam tsev... lwm haiv los yeej muaj tus zoo qhov tus phem ibyam. Kuv ntseeg tias peb cov txiv tsev los yeej muaj tus zoo li thiab....yog tsis zoo ces peb cov niam tsev yeej yuav nyob tsis tau thiab yuav Tsis muaj koob npe li niaj hnub no lawm thiab. Kuv ntseeg tias koj mus yuav lwm haiv los Tsuas zoo thaum tshiab thiab xwb... yog tau tus zoo ces koj yuav qhuas tau tus phem ces koj ho yuav rov thuam haiv neeg ko ibyam... qhov zoo peb yuav tau los zaum sib kho kom Haum obtog es peb thiaj yuav mus ib ruam tom ntej... kuv tsis paub txhawb koj licas tabsis kuv pom tias yog koj Txhob pom lwm haiv zoo dua ces tejzaum koj kuj yuav ua siab ntev txhawb koj tus txiv thiab. Peb cov txiv tsev no los yog mus yuav lwm haiv los peb tus ntawd yuav qhuas2 haiv neeg ntawd thiab ho yuav thuam2 nej cov niam tsev hmoob ibyam nkaus. Tabsis nco ntsoov tias yus muaj npe zoo los Tsis yog tus niamtsev xwb yeej yog obleeg sib txhawb es thiaj los Txhob hnub ntawd... koj tus txiv ntsev los nws yeej tias nws siv2 zov thiab no ov....kuv ntseeg tias txiv tsev feem coob lawv yuav pom li kuv hais thiab es neb thiaj tau Koob Meej los ib Nyuag ntu ntawd tus twg los thiaj Hwm neb. Es Txhob tu siab peb yuav tau los zaum sib kho nawb niaj hnub los kuv pom peb ib co txiv tsev yeej txawj txo hwjchim thiab hlub pojniam kawg lawm thiab es licas los peb obtog yuav tau sivzog thiab sib kho kom zoo nawb es peb thiaj tsis ntshaw lwm haiv lawm ua tsaug ntau
Some of the Hmong men’s doesn’t not humbled themselves, disrespectful for us as their wife. How sad that it is really true that this beautiful lady had my story when listening to her, I am cry 😭 and felts the pain that I was too face my Hmoob man problems. Sister you are not alone, my feet was in your shoes too, love you and keep moving, March forward trying our best to fight this battle one day we will win. Love come first but some of the Hmoob men’s so afraid to show their wife the compassion because they are heartless man!!
Yog kawg yog kawg ua tsaug qhov koj qhia rau peb cov uas tseem nyob nrog peb cov txiv hmoob yog leej twg tus hlub los nyob ho tus ua tsis hlub los yuav tau raws koj qab thiab thiaj tau lub neej zoo li koj lub nawb cov txiv neej hmoob no tsis yog ib tug phem xwb yeej phem tas tus li vim yog roj ntsha hmoob yeej phem lim hiam li no
Hmoob ntseeg Vajtswv muaj kev hlub peb hloov tej kev noj haus ko tag lawm mog vim peb caum kev hlub txo Fwj chim thiab peb hlub peb lub cev dua lwm tus lub cev nawb mog
Thank you for your honesty. That's why I don't care to be a Niam coj noj coj ua. At the end of the day, no one is going to make you happy but yourself. Have a small group of friends and immediate family only. Travel the world and forget about being the best nyab/wife to the community.
Yeej yog li tus mi niam tsev zaj neej neeg kawg os peb los yeej raug ib yam li koj thiab os xav kom cov txiv neej no tau pom luag lwm haiv thiab es tau hlub peb thiab ho tab sis zoo siab nrog koj os tus vivncaus ua koj mus tau lub neej kaj siab lawm os mog
This is very true. Hmoob men need to change big time because I still see it everyday. We hmoob women have to tend to our men’s every need like they are kings. Ever since Nai phoo Vaj Pao xiam tag yeej tsis muaj ib tug nom nyob qhov twg los lawm na. I believe in equal rights but it ain’t gonna happen if the hmoob men don’t change.
Tus me niam tsev aw yeej muaj tseeb li koj hais kawg tab sis qhov txiv neej hmoob saib 3 g muaj nqis los vim 3 g sib koom siab los tawm tsam lawv 3 qee leej poj niam hmoob tseem yog cov los tawm tsam nrog 1 feem thiab .kuv muaj 2 tug ntxhais kuv xav kom yuav hmoob los ua kuv vauv los nkawv xav tib yam li koj thiab
Yeej yog li koj hais lawm os tus niam tsev aw.....tsis poob ib lo li os....txiv neej cem tias yim hlub mas pojniam yim muaj plhus tab sis txiv neej ces zoo ib yam....yim hlub yim txhawb ces koj yuav Tau niam yau sai ntag mas....kuv Los twb taug koj txoj Kev lawm thiab os....
Nrog koj zoo siab tau tus txiv hlub koj thiab saib koj muaj nqi lawm. Koj tus txiv txawm tam sim no yog neeg dab tsi los tsis tseem ceeb, qhov tseem ceeb yog nws hlub koj.
Sister I agree with your philosophy. Your story is one of many but it needs to be told. To remind many that their way of thinkings are no longer relevant in this age. I applaud your courage to leave your old life behind & start anew. Good luck to you! I've thought about this a lot & wonder why majority of our Hmong men act like they do. Even the ones in their 30's & 40's who grew up in the US or are Americanize. Even the ones with very high education. I've reach the conclusion: when the men had assilmilated into the mainstream culture. They found that their American counterparts or peers are more successful than they are. They just couldn't compete. So instead of finding more meanings or their real purpose in life the men cling to this outdated culture where they can pretend to be the "alpha" male in the Hmong community. Because that's the only time they can feel powerful because outside of the culture they are nothing. I really hope that the new generation-our sons will have the courage to be more than their forefathers & do things differently.
I am in the same boat and feel exactly how she feels! Left a marriage because my ex(Hmong) felt so entitled to treat me terribly! No matter how much I tried to talk to him. And he ended up cheating on me, after kicking me out and threaten that he was going to "really" leave me because he was not willing to get me from my parents house! And we're pretty Americanized! 9 years of this! So after our marriage ended I decide to date outside the race. I met a wonderful man who treats me with the love and respect that I deserve! Not saying all Hmong men are bad just those that have been engraved to think that it's okay to mistreat your wife/ significant other, not okay. You better be one heck of a Hmong man if you want to date me! (Which will not be happening anytime soon.) They always make us Hmong women feel like we will never/ can't find anyone better then Hmong men, I glad you proved them wrong and shared your story! ❤
Cov txiv neej zoo li no tsis yog txhua tus peb cov kuj hloov lawm deb thiab..ua noj haus los peb cov txiv yog cov ua pab peb ua noj ua haus 1 leeg ua 1 qho sawv daws mam noj ua ke..
Not everyone Hmong men are bad. Just some like any others cultures are. There are some that are bad and some that are good. I do appreciated my wife. I do more stuff around the house and I work almost 24/7 and paid ours bills, cook, clean. I actually loved doing this stuff. Hmong have big families, friendship.
i do agree with you sister, thats why our young generation girl want to go out of our people. i been with my husband for 27yr. I married him when i was 14yr. because as that time i did not know anything, but to bee a good daughter and listen to my parents. now i go through hardship in my life no one can help me. wishing i can do what you do. i am tired of this life too.
Es nej niam thiab txiv twb kom xaiv tus zoo vauv kom txawj ntse thiab kom tau txiv ua Nom ua Tswv thiaj li muaj koob muaj npe muaj meej mom ces ua siab uv mas lov
Zaj neej neeg ntawm tus me viv ncaus ntawd yeej yog kawg lawm peb cov niam tsev hmoob mas yeej khwv npaum li tus me viv ncaus ntawd tiag tab sis yus tus txiv yeej saib yus tsis muaj ib qho nuj nqis li tsuas yog yus lam khwv dawb khwv do xwb yus tsuas tau qhov khwv tas zaj tas zog xwb yus txawm yuav tiam nws tej kwv tej tig tej txheeb tej ze zoo npaum li cas los yeej tsis muaj nuj nqis li nws tawm rooj plaws ces xia plias txoj kev ua plees ua yi xwb nws yeej tsis nco txog hais tias nws zoo thiab tsim txiaj yog muaj nws tus niam tsev zoo yog tus tiam nws thiab txhawb nws, nws thiaj tsim txiaj li ntawd no txiv dev hmoob mas lub siab lim hiam tshaj plaws saib tsis taus tej poj niam tshaj li lwm haiv neeg peb cov niam tsev hmoob mas raug tsim txom tshaj plaws txhua haiv neeg peb tsuas muaj nqis thaum peb tseem uv ua qhev tas zaj tas zog xwb ces nws tej kwv tij uas niaj hnub tuaj noj tuaj haus ces hais tias yus thiaj yog tus zoo hos yus uv2 tsis taus lawm ces nws tej kwv tij uas niaj hnub tuaj noj yus tes taw mob ncus nco ces yeej tsis nco txog yus tej txiaj ntsig li lawm tseem nrog yus niag txiv ua txij tog txij peg ntxub yus tib si mas tseem nrog yus niag txiv dev liam ntawd cem yus tas zaj tas zog thiab nim no tsis txhob quav ntsej hais tias yus yuav ua luag qhev tuag nthi lawm os ib tsoom me niam tsev los yog ib tsoom me viv ncaus hmoob aw kuv ces yog ib tug ua qhev tuag nthi txhawb kuv tus txiv mus ua zoo rau luag lwm tus xwb ces kuv qaug zog lawm kuv ua ib siab tso rau tus neeg nws hlub mam txhawb nws saib yuav zoo npaum li cas rau nws lawm xwb kuv ua ntxoov tes saib lawm xwb os ib tsoom viv ncaus hmoob tus khwv2 ua txiv neej hmoob qhev kom muaj koob muaj npe muaj meej mom thaum kawg muab yus luam cuag li tej hmoov av xwb leej twg muaj peev xwm los yeej meem mus yuav lwm haiv neeg nawb mog kuv tsis thuam lwm haiv neeg
Any change can happen if peb koom siab hloov. Most times, we only complain, but we don't try to change. And when someone does tries to implement the chabge, we back down and don't support them. I think just like anything in life, if we are determined for change and are willing to sacrifice to change, then changes will happen. Maybe not immediately, but little by little over time. We need to stop victimizing ourselves by saying "bc we are borned as hmong women." No. We need to change that mindset bc it will only set us back. I hate when older hmong women use that phrase to limit themselves, locked themselves in a dead-end situation, and put up wit.
Nyob tim peb lub church mas yeej kom cov laus 60 xyoo rov sauv ces cia daus mov ua ntej, dua li ces pojniam thiab txiv neej sibxyaws nyias dau nyias, peb tsis muab cov txiv neej noj ua ntej
Yog lawm peb Hmoob txoj niag kev kom tiam cov txiv cuag tiam Nom es tau meej mom tabsis kuv tsis Pom lub meej mom no vam neej hlo li. Kuv yeej pom qhov uas tus txiv noj yah es tsuas tias mus os es tus Poj niam twb tsis tau noj li zaj neej neeg no kuv yeej pom qhov no xwb tsis muaj kev vam meej tsis muaj qab ntxias dabtsi li os
Txhob mus ob rooj mov mas ...mus ob rooj ces ua suav cwj ntam ob tog plam los mas .. thiab koj mus rooj tom qab tsis muaj nuj nqi lawm na .vim mus txog lig lawm ne .
Peb cov txiv neej hmoob ua tsis tau li os peb cov poj niam xav hnov ib los lus tsawb siab xwb twb ua tsis tau rau peb cov poj niam yog cia cov txiv los ua li peb cov poj niam lo lus zoo peb cov poj niam ua tau rau nej cov txiv neej nawb
Txhob tu siab niam cov poj niam twb tsis sib pab yuav ua cas kho tau cov txiv,cov Niam yog nej tsis kho tseem tos lwm tiam ces kawg mag txiv neej luam xwb . Kuv yog ib leeg txiv tawm rooj kuv make sure kom nws tau mov noj ,nws yuav tsum ua kuv ntej. Taj twg cov poj niam tseem rau mov saum rooj cias cov txiv noj ua ntej txiv neej nyiam heev vim peb tsis xav pub kom nej txhob paub tab.tom nej no noj mov ua kab xwb tsis txhob rau saum rooj lawm .Cov poj niam muaj ntau yam peb cov txiv pheej muab lub qhov rooj kaw tsis qhib rau nej yog nej tsis qhib tiam twg los nej kawg tag qhov tseeb peb cov txiv muab nej lub hlwb txuav los ntej nej thiaj tsis paub lawm peb cov niam tsis sib hlub ces kawg tuag .
Cov neeg tau lub npe ua thawj coj vim tus niam tsev nquag, tus txiv tsev khav theeb quav dejcawv tau DUI license poob tas. Tseem muaj cov poob haujlwm vim mag ntes kaw. Thaum qaug lawm, sib deev kwvtij neejtsa phoojywg tej pojniam ua plaub ntug poob nyiaj tusiab tas. Sawvdaws tau mob zom zaws tuag zujzus, los txog hnub no yeej tsis tau hloov li.🍺🍹🍸🥂🍻👎👎👎👎👎
Nej thiaj tseem coj li ko xwb os vim nej mloog nej niam txoj kev qub. Tiam txiv neej dabtsi li ntawd na. Li ntawd ces tsuas tab tom ua qhev rau lawv xwb. Nej ua qhev xwb es lawv yuav ua cas ras tig los paub txog nej txoj kev khwv, sab, tshaib nqhis ma. Lub tseem meej mom yuav muaj ruaj khov mas nyias yuav tsum peem nyias mas thiaj muaj nuj nqis muaj txiaj ntsim pob. Nov yog teb chaws meskas yog tiam 21 lawm nad viv ncaus hmoob. Peb yog neeg tib yam, tawm tib qho chaw los xwb nev. Nej ua ib yam ob yam los lawv yuav tsum ua ib yam, lawv noj ces nej noj thiab hos mas thiaj vam meej ov. Ua li nej ua ces kawg raug tsuj xwb. Peb cov poj niam hmoob yuav tau ua kom taus taus mas. Xav muaj suab yuav tsum tawm suab. Xav kom hloov peb yuav tsum tau ua tus hloov. Tsis nyiam, peb yuav tsum txav kom deb. Pog yawg tsis thas nrhiav os mog, nrhiav Vajtswv xwb thiaj ncaj ncees os peb cov viv ncaus hmoob thiaj tsis raug tsim, tsis raug thuam, thiaj yuav yeej mog.
Peb cov txiv neej hmong lub zog, lub meej mom, ces heev los ntawm peb poj niam hmong xwb los mas cov uas mus yuav lwm haib neeg mas txiv neej hmong ces ua zoo li zoo rau thiab xwb tiag raws li kuv pom na
Tej lus ntawm ko ntseeg tsis tau kiag nawb...ib txij kuv tuaj txog lub teb chaws no lawm...thaum cov txiv neej noj mov lawv yeej rau ib rooj out side rau tej niam tsev txhua zaus li xwb
Yog kawg 3hmoob qhov kws muaj 1pluag noj los pheej cia cov pov niam noj ua qab qhov no yuav tsum tau hloov es tsau tau yuav tsum cia cov khub txij nkawm tuaj txhij yuav tsum sub nyob txhij es cov hluas tsi tau muaj khub yuav tsum mus nyob 1tog tsooj thiaj li yog vim 3twb nyob lub teb chaws vam meej muaj noj muaj haus thiab twb txog caij hloov lawm ces yuav tsum hloov 3txuj cai kom muaj hoj vam sib luag os 3haiv hmoob yog tsi ua li ces 1me ntsis 3 cov poj niam khiav mus caum lwm haiv neeg thiab mus ntseeg lawv cov ntseeg kev cai tshiab tag lawm ces 3hmoob yuav ntsib teeb meem dua thiab os.
Txiv neej ces yeej muaj cov siab phem li no os thiab hnub twg muaj meej mom ces yeej xav tias nws yog tus haib no ces yeej tsa qhov muag xam tus tshiab xwb os me niam tsev peb ces yeej taug ib txog kev zoo ib yam xwb os mog.
I believe this tradition is only for non-Christians...I've been to many parties like this! I am so Grateful that Christians' parties aren't like this...there's EQUALITY...Buffet style is the Best!
Peb cov poj niam hmoob lawv yeej saib tsis muaj nqe li thaum tw kom pab ce hais tias kuv mam yuav tus los pab koj xwb os 1 nyuag yws ce yeej piv rau lwm tus xwb
Yog tau tus txiv thiab caj ces siab loj siab zoo yeej tsis coj li koj tus txiv tsev neeg no, peb tuaj teb chaws vam meej no yeej muaj ib txhia yeej hloov lawm, ua li cas Los tso txiv neej lub meej mom siab dua yus mog vim lub ntuj yeej tsim yus Los Tom qab txiv neej tab thov Kom txiv neej ho saib poj niam rau nqi xwb
Ohhh es cas peb twb tseem coj kev cai qub, tab sis thaum noj mov los poj niam yeej noj nrog txiv neej noj ua ke sib npaug zos, tshuas yog tsis koom nrooj xwb...maybe it just the og's or ib co tseem thiaj coj li no xwb not all
I agreed with you
Ua tsaug uas koj tawm tsam txog txig nkawm lub neej. Kev tawm tsam muaj yeej swb. Koj hais me peb ntau.
Koj yog ib tug pojniam HMOOB uas ntuj qheb txoj kev cawm dim ntawm hmoob lub qub neej. Tseem tshuav peb coob heev niaj hnub quaj ntsuag thov txoj kev pab
Kudos to you sister, at least we have options. If you cannot change them, change yourself.
👍❤️
yes l want so must.
Many txiv neej hm get away w evilness, wicked, cruelness, ect. ect..bc of culture. Bravo. Noj g ta li o.
I support you.
Zoo heev li
I agree. Hmong men needs to change their ancient mindset. I am happy to hear this niam tsev standing up for herself. Us women needs to be strong and love ourselve and know our self worth. This is why majority of our generations nowaday, we are seeing more hmong women dating/marrying out of race.
Txhob tu siab mog tus niam tsev... lwm haiv los yeej muaj tus zoo qhov tus phem ibyam. Kuv ntseeg tias peb cov txiv tsev los yeej muaj tus zoo li thiab....yog tsis zoo ces peb cov niam tsev yeej yuav nyob tsis tau thiab yuav Tsis muaj koob npe li niaj hnub no lawm thiab. Kuv ntseeg tias koj mus yuav lwm haiv los Tsuas zoo thaum tshiab thiab xwb... yog tau tus zoo ces koj yuav qhuas tau tus phem ces koj ho yuav rov thuam haiv neeg ko ibyam... qhov zoo peb yuav tau los zaum sib kho kom Haum obtog es peb thiaj yuav mus ib ruam tom ntej... kuv tsis paub txhawb koj licas tabsis kuv pom tias yog koj Txhob pom lwm haiv zoo dua ces tejzaum koj kuj yuav ua siab ntev txhawb koj tus txiv thiab. Peb cov txiv tsev no los yog mus yuav lwm haiv los peb tus ntawd yuav qhuas2 haiv neeg ntawd thiab ho yuav thuam2 nej cov niam tsev hmoob ibyam nkaus. Tabsis nco ntsoov tias yus muaj npe zoo los Tsis yog tus niamtsev xwb yeej yog obleeg sib txhawb es thiaj los Txhob hnub ntawd... koj tus txiv ntsev los nws yeej tias nws siv2 zov thiab no ov....kuv ntseeg tias txiv tsev feem coob lawv yuav pom li kuv hais thiab es neb thiaj tau Koob Meej los ib Nyuag ntu ntawd tus twg los thiaj Hwm neb. Es Txhob tu siab peb yuav tau los zaum sib kho nawb niaj hnub los kuv pom peb ib co txiv tsev yeej txawj txo hwjchim thiab hlub pojniam kawg lawm thiab es licas los peb obtog yuav tau sivzog thiab sib kho kom zoo nawb es peb thiaj tsis ntshaw lwm haiv lawm ua tsaug ntau
Some of the Hmong men’s doesn’t not humbled themselves, disrespectful for us as their wife. How sad that it is really true that this beautiful lady had my story when listening to her, I am cry 😭 and felts the pain that I was too face my Hmoob man problems. Sister you are not alone, my feet was in your shoes too, love you and keep moving, March forward trying our best to fight this battle one day we will win. Love come first but some of the Hmoob men’s so afraid to show their wife the compassion because they are heartless man!!
Cas hais yog tiag tiag khws li kuv lub neej kawg tu siab os
Thov ua tsaug rau zaj dab neeg no zoo heev li pab tau rsu kuv pom kev lawm
nrog koj zoo siab, yeej yog li koj hais, nyaj yuav tsi yog txhua leej tab si yeej tseem muaj ib co uas lim hiam yeej xav yuav niam yau es lam tau lam hais kom yeej yus xwb. tab si muaj ib hnub nws yeej yuav nco koj lub txiaj ntsim uas koj tau ua txoj kev zoo los lawm thiab os. 😀😉
Yog kawg yog kawg ua tsaug qhov koj qhia rau peb cov uas tseem nyob nrog peb cov txiv hmoob yog leej twg tus hlub los nyob ho tus ua tsis hlub los yuav tau raws koj qab thiab thiaj tau lub neej zoo li koj lub nawb cov txiv neej hmoob no tsis yog ib tug phem xwb yeej phem tas tus li vim yog roj ntsha hmoob yeej phem lim hiam li no
Hmoob hais tias ntawm ko ib txwm yog hmoob txoj kev cai uas cov pojniam yeej tsis muaj txoj kev cai los nrog cov txiv neej noj koom ib tsum nov noj uake. Cov txiv neej hmoob hais tias yog lawv txoj cai,tabsis kuv tsis tau pom ib tsab cai nyob rau qhov twg pom hais tias txoj kev cai no sau tseg hais tias yog hmoob sau cia...
Koj ua yog tshaj plaws li os mes niam laus aw..
I love your story sister
Yog lawm os xum yuav lwm haiv neeg yog peb khwv npaum no ces luag lwm haiv neeg yeej hlub peb heev lawm
Hmoob ntseeg Vajtswv muaj kev hlub peb hloov tej kev noj haus ko tag lawm mog vim peb caum kev hlub txo Fwj chim thiab peb hlub peb lub cev dua lwm tus lub cev nawb mog
Tus pog no mas khav theeb kawg
Thank you for your honesty. That's why I don't care to be a Niam coj noj coj ua. At the end of the day, no one is going to make you happy but yourself. Have a small group of friends and immediate family only. Travel the world and forget about being the best nyab/wife to the community.
Women with attitudes.
Yeej yog li tus mi niam tsev zaj neej neeg kawg os peb los yeej raug ib yam li koj thiab os xav kom cov txiv neej no tau pom luag lwm haiv thiab es tau hlub peb thiab ho tab sis zoo siab nrog koj os tus vivncaus ua koj mus tau lub neej kaj siab lawm os mog
Kv pom zoo peb cov txiv neej hmoob hloov thiab
Yog lawm peb ces yeej zoo li no yog pauv tau pauv los yim zoo
Yog lawm poj niam txhswb txiv neej ces yim txhawb yim muaj meej mom yim tsuj poj niam cwb
zoo lawm os tus niam laus
This is very true. Hmoob men need to change big time because I still see it everyday. We hmoob women have to tend to our men’s every need like they are kings. Ever since Nai phoo Vaj Pao xiam tag yeej tsis muaj ib tug nom nyob qhov twg los lawm na. I believe in equal rights but it ain’t gonna happen if the hmoob men don’t change.
Koj tham tau zoo kawg viv n
Thanks for sharing. I will be the change. Happy that you found inner peace.
Wow this story very good i hope all the men and some of the women too who’s always judge somebody that you don’t even know what happen in her life.
niam laus kj hai tau zoo hv li os kv tus txiv zoo ib yam li kj hai ta
Los nhrog peb mus church ma.
Tus me niam tsev aw yeej muaj tseeb li koj hais kawg tab sis qhov txiv neej hmoob saib 3 g muaj nqis los vim 3 g sib koom siab los tawm tsam lawv 3 qee leej poj niam hmoob tseem yog cov los tawm tsam nrog 1 feem thiab .kuv muaj 2 tug ntxhais kuv xav kom yuav hmoob los ua kuv vauv los nkawv xav tib yam li koj thiab
Dhuav tshaj laws li os hmoob aw!
Yeej yog li koj hais lawm os tus niam tsev aw.....tsis poob ib lo li os....txiv neej cem tias yim hlub mas pojniam yim muaj plhus tab sis txiv neej ces zoo ib yam....yim hlub yim txhawb ces koj yuav Tau niam yau sai ntag mas....kuv Los twb taug koj txoj Kev lawm thiab os....
Nyob zoo os tub muam
Koj ua yog lawm nawb kav tsij ua li koj siab nyiam xwb thiaj kaj siab mawb
Nrog koj zoo siab tau tus txiv hlub koj thiab saib koj muaj nqi lawm. Koj tus txiv txawm tam sim no yog neeg dab tsi los tsis tseem ceeb, qhov tseem ceeb yog nws hlub koj.
Peb cov coj kev cai tshiab, cov txiv tsev yeej pab cov niam tsev ua pluas mov noj thiab thaum noj tag, cov txiv tsev los pab cov niam tsev tu txhua yam tiav log sawvdaws mam li mus tsev. Lub neej mus kev cai tshiab peb tsis nco qab nyuaj siab vim peb cov txiv tsev pab peb ntu zus thiab cov txiv tsev lawv txo hwj chim. Tsis zoo li cov txiv tsev coj qub kev cai uas tsis muaj kev hlub tsis pab tus poj niam ua num. Peb cov coj kev cai tshiab thaum noj mov, sawvdaws line up noj uake. Kuv nrog tus niam tsev no zoo siab uas nws tawm hauv lub neej mus vim nyob ntau txoj kev nyuaj siab ntawd xam maj tua tau txojsia. Txhob xav tias uv tsis tuag. Tuag taus nawd cov viv ncaus. Stress tuag taus ov. Nrog koj zoo siab os tus sister. Peb loj hlob teb chaws miakas no peb coj tsis tau li cov laus thaum ub lawm. Peb lub hlwb tsis nyob nplog teb lawm os.
Sister I agree with your philosophy. Your story is one of many but it needs to be told. To remind many that their way of thinkings are no longer relevant in this age. I applaud your courage to leave your old life behind & start anew. Good luck to you!
I've thought about this a lot & wonder why majority of our Hmong men act like they do. Even the ones in their 30's & 40's who grew up in the US or are Americanize. Even the ones with very high education.
I've reach the conclusion: when the men had assilmilated into the mainstream culture. They found that their American counterparts or peers are more successful than they are. They just couldn't compete. So instead of finding more meanings or their real purpose in life the men cling to this outdated culture where they can pretend to be the "alpha" male in the Hmong community. Because that's the only time they can feel powerful because outside of the culture they are nothing.
I really hope that the new generation-our sons will have the courage to be more than their forefathers & do things differently.
Yeeb vim peb cov txiv tsev hwm peb cov niam tsev dhau lawm es peb cov niam tsev hmoob thiaj li mus deev nai tom company ntag nawb........
Kuv twb nyob koj txhais khaw. Kuv yim txawb yim Tham hluas nkauj yim muaj plhu. Thawm kawg mus thawj pojnrauj. Thawm kawg neej puas tag. Thawm dhau kuv lawm tsis muaj quav dabtsi. Kuv ua tus poj tso tseg tseem tseem ceeb tshaj lawm nws.
Muab piv txwv rau cov neeg tseem ceeb ua nom ua Tswv luag tus pojniam nrog nraim tsis hais zaum los yog sawv. Vim luag saib luag tus pojniam muaj nuj nqis thiab hwm nws. Peb txiv neej hmoob tsis hwm peb pojniam. Peb txiv neej hmoob xav tias lawv yuav peb los nrog lawv nyob thiab them 5000 no xwb lawv yuav tswj peb li cas los tau. Yog leej twg tau tus txiv coj li zaj neej neeg no tso tseg zoo b tshaj nrog nws nyob.
Cov txiv tsev sawv daws mloog zaj neej neeg no es thov hloov nawb,
Zoo siab koj tau tus hlub koj lawm
I am in the same boat and feel exactly how she feels! Left a marriage because my ex(Hmong) felt so entitled to treat me terribly! No matter how much I tried to talk to him. And he ended up cheating on me, after kicking me out and threaten that he was going to "really" leave me because he was not willing to get me from my parents house! And we're pretty Americanized! 9 years of this! So after our marriage ended I decide to date outside the race. I met a wonderful man who treats me with the love and respect that I deserve! Not saying all Hmong men are bad just those that have been engraved to think that it's okay to mistreat your wife/ significant other, not okay. You better be one heck of a Hmong man if you want to date me! (Which will not be happening anytime soon.) They always make us Hmong women feel like we will never/ can't find anyone better then Hmong men, I glad you proved them wrong and shared your story! ❤
Sister aw koj hais yog kawg lawm os. Peb cov no es 30 tawm xyoo xwb peb cov txiv ces zoo kiag li koj hais xwb os.
Koj cov lus yog lawm hnub uas koj nrauj tus txiv ntawd ces koj thiaj yog tu yeej xwb tiag txiv neej hmoob lub neej ces zoo li xwb
Cov uas pheej pheej xav tau meej mom ua hmoob cov nom yeej coj lis no, tiamsis cov uas mus church lawm poj niam txiv neej thiab menyuam yeej tau noj ib yam ib yam lis peb mus noj tom lab suav, txhai tau tias cov ntseeg vajtswv txawj hlub poj niam dua !!!
Yeej muaj tseeb zoo li zaj dab neeg no o
Change starts with you. Teach your sons d your daughter to not be like the old ways. Glad you found a happier life.
Mae Vaj agreed
👏👏well said sister!
Tus niam laus, kuv yeej sab li ko thiab os. Yus Khwv Khwv los yus tus txiv tseem cav tias yus tsis zoo txaus. Ua rau yus khuv uv tsis ntaus lawm. Koj caj siab ces Kuv pab koj zoo siab.
Cov txiv neej zoo li no tsis yog txhua tus peb cov kuj hloov lawm deb thiab..ua noj haus los peb cov txiv yog cov ua pab peb ua noj ua haus 1 leeg ua 1 qho sawv daws mam noj ua ke..
Yov li tu niam tsev hai txhua los.lus...peb cov hmoob nplog tseem coj li no
Not everyone Hmong men are bad. Just some like any others cultures are. There are some that are bad and some that are good. I do appreciated my wife. I do more stuff around the house and I work almost 24/7 and paid ours bills, cook, clean. I actually loved doing this stuff. Hmong have big families, friendship.
Mej suavdlawg tshwj xeeb cov quas puj. Ua ntej mej yuav muaj qhov question nuav mej yuav tsum moog saib luas lwm paab lwm pawg hab saib luas coj le caag lawm.Tsis yog taag nrho peb txiv neej moob tseem coj le nuav. Ib txha luas hloov lawm. Lawv le nyob rua paab pawg neeg kws kuv nyob peb cov quas puj yeej tau txais kev hwm lug ntawm cov txiv neej lawm. Thaus muaj ib pluag noj luj los cov txiv neej yeej paab cov quas puj hab thaus noj los yeej rau ib tsum rua cov quas puj hab ib tsum rua cov txiv neej suavdlawg tuab txhij noj. Kuv yog ib tug txiv neej los kuv kuj tu sab has tas peb moob tub tuaj nyob rua lub teb chaws vaam meej xws le lub tebchaws Meskas los ua caag tseem muaj ib txha moob tseem coj le peb moob lub neej yaav qub qaab ua ntej 1960. Suavdlawg tsi nyam cov moob coj kev cai tshab tabsis puab hloov lawm ntau vim puab tsi yog kawm kev cai ntseeg xwb tab si puab kawm ntau yaam nyob rua huv lub neej.
i do agree with you sister, thats why our young generation girl want to go out of our people. i been with my husband for 27yr. I married him when i was 14yr. because as that time i did not know anything, but to bee a good daughter and listen to my parents. now i go through hardship in my life no one can help me. wishing i can do what you do. i am tired of this life too.
Kuv dhuav hmoob txoj niag kev cai qias neeg ko hwv lawm hos.
Es nej niam thiab txiv twb kom xaiv tus zoo vauv kom txawj ntse thiab kom tau txiv ua Nom ua Tswv thiaj li muaj koob muaj npe muaj meej mom ces ua siab uv mas lov
Peb pab koj mob siab ib yam kuv los yeej zoo li koj thiab os.zoo li peb cov ntxhais thiah mus yuav lwm haiv neeg lawm
Kuv yuav laus dua koj thiab koj tus txiv, tab sis kuv tsis los ntawm tsev neeg muaj meej mom. Qhov kuv pom, kev hloov yuav tswm sim yog los ntawm cov poj niam ces thiaj pauv tau. Txhob tos tus txiv neej pauv mog. Ib feem ntau ntawm cov neeg paub tab muaj kev txawj ntse yeej pauv lawm, tab sis yuav yog ntau tiam tom ntej mas peb tej tub tej ntxhais thiaj yuav tau pom txog kev hloov ntawm peb cov Hmoob
Nyib tim nplog ma tej zaum yuav muaj thiab .
qhov mus yuav lwm haiv neeg los dim txojkev raug txiv neej saib tsis taus thiab tsim. nws tsis bad kiag li.
Zaj neej neeg ntawm tus me viv ncaus ntawd yeej yog kawg lawm peb cov niam tsev hmoob mas yeej khwv npaum li tus me viv ncaus ntawd tiag tab sis yus tus txiv yeej saib yus tsis muaj ib qho nuj nqis li tsuas yog yus lam khwv dawb khwv do xwb yus tsuas tau qhov khwv tas zaj tas zog xwb yus txawm yuav tiam nws tej kwv tej tig tej txheeb tej ze zoo npaum li cas los yeej tsis muaj nuj nqis li nws tawm rooj plaws ces xia plias txoj kev ua plees ua yi xwb nws yeej tsis nco txog hais tias nws zoo thiab tsim txiaj yog muaj nws tus niam tsev zoo yog tus tiam nws thiab txhawb nws, nws thiaj tsim txiaj li ntawd no txiv dev hmoob mas lub siab lim hiam tshaj plaws saib tsis taus tej poj niam tshaj li lwm haiv neeg peb cov niam tsev hmoob mas raug tsim txom tshaj plaws txhua haiv neeg peb tsuas muaj nqis thaum peb tseem uv ua qhev tas zaj tas zog xwb ces nws tej kwv tij uas niaj hnub tuaj noj tuaj haus ces hais tias yus thiaj yog tus zoo hos yus uv2 tsis taus lawm ces nws tej kwv tij uas niaj hnub tuaj noj yus tes taw mob ncus nco ces yeej tsis nco txog yus tej txiaj ntsig li lawm tseem nrog yus niag txiv ua txij tog txij peg ntxub yus tib si mas tseem nrog yus niag txiv dev liam ntawd cem yus tas zaj tas zog thiab nim no tsis txhob quav ntsej hais tias yus yuav ua luag qhev tuag nthi lawm os ib tsoom me niam tsev los yog ib tsoom me viv ncaus hmoob aw kuv ces yog ib tug ua qhev tuag nthi txhawb kuv tus txiv mus ua zoo rau luag lwm tus xwb ces kuv qaug zog lawm kuv ua ib siab tso rau tus neeg nws hlub mam txhawb nws saib yuav zoo npaum li cas rau nws lawm xwb kuv ua ntxoov tes saib lawm xwb os ib tsoom viv ncaus hmoob tus khwv2 ua txiv neej hmoob qhev kom muaj koob muaj npe muaj meej mom thaum kawg muab yus luam cuag li tej hmoov av xwb leej twg muaj peev xwm los yeej meem mus yuav lwm haiv neeg nawb mog kuv tsis thuam lwm haiv neeg
Any change can happen if peb koom siab hloov. Most times, we only complain, but we don't try to change. And when someone does tries to implement the chabge, we back down and don't support them. I think just like anything in life, if we are determined for change and are willing to sacrifice to change, then changes will happen. Maybe not immediately, but little by little over time. We need to stop victimizing ourselves by saying "bc we are borned as hmong women." No. We need to change that mindset bc it will only set us back. I hate when older hmong women use that phrase to limit themselves, locked themselves in a dead-end situation, and put up wit.
Nyob tim peb lub church mas yeej kom cov laus 60 xyoo rov sauv ces cia daus mov ua ntej, dua li ces pojniam thiab txiv neej sibxyaws nyias dau nyias, peb tsis muab cov txiv neej noj ua ntej
Yog lawv hloov tsis tau lawv, Peb qhuab peb cov tub xws nkaus li peb cov ntxhais mog.
Kuv pom li koj pom, feem coob lawv coj li koj hais.. Lawv yeej tsis pom txiaj ntsim tiag. Peb cov pojniam xwb, thiaj tsis txawj hlub peb, hlub yus tus kheej.
Txhob ntshaws lub meejmom mog, ntshaws txoj kev ncaj ncees thiaj txoj kev kajsiab lawm xwb.
Kuv yeej xav tias kuv tsis ua li lawv cov laus ua lawm thiab.
Order/ua rau pem rooj, suavdaws ua line mus daus es nyias los zaum noj nyias lawm xwb.
Vim peb tsis tau ua dua peb ib tug niamtsev "pojnom" ces peb tsis txom nyeem siab ntws cuag li nej nawb.
Nws kuj yog vim yus tsev neeg txoj kev coj xwb, Peb tsev kwvtij no lawv hlub, hlub lawv tsev poj niam xws li luag thiab, muaj noj, muaj haus peb cov txiv ua zaub, ua nqaij thiab nrog peb npaj txij tog txij peg thiab. Peb cov niam tsev ces ua khoom txom ncauj thiab npaj twj taig twj dia xwb.
Tabsis qhov ua kev cai Rooj loj saum rooj tseem siv li qub. Tabsis rooj me twb noj ib yam zaub thiab xwb.
Txawm li cas los ua neejnrog yus txoj kev sib nkag siab thiab txawj sib hlub xwb.
Yog lawm peb Hmoob txoj niag kev kom tiam cov txiv cuag tiam Nom es tau meej mom tabsis kuv tsis Pom lub meej mom no vam neej hlo li. Kuv yeej pom qhov uas tus txiv noj yah es tsuas tias mus os es tus Poj niam twb tsis tau noj li zaj neej neeg no kuv yeej pom qhov no xwb tsis muaj kev vam meej tsis muaj qab ntxias dabtsi li os
Txhob mus ob rooj mov mas ...mus ob rooj ces ua suav cwj ntam ob tog plam los mas .. thiab koj mus rooj tom qab tsis muaj nuj nqi lawm na .vim mus txog lig lawm ne .
Peb cov txiv neej hmoob ua tsis tau li os peb cov poj niam xav hnov ib los lus tsawb siab xwb twb ua tsis tau rau peb cov poj niam yog cia cov txiv los ua li peb cov poj niam lo lus zoo peb cov poj niam ua tau rau nej cov txiv neej nawb
I totally agree. We are a second generation church and our ladies are actually always in line first. For some events our men actually do the cooking.
nkauj lee Would be nice to go to your church instead the churches I’ve known.
Amen! I Agree 😁
Txiv neej yeej phem li koj kawg
Txhob tu siab niam cov poj niam twb tsis sib pab yuav ua cas kho tau cov txiv,cov Niam yog nej tsis kho tseem tos lwm tiam ces kawg mag txiv neej luam xwb .
Kuv yog ib leeg txiv tawm rooj kuv make sure kom nws tau mov noj ,nws yuav tsum ua kuv ntej.
Taj twg cov poj niam tseem rau mov saum rooj cias cov txiv noj ua ntej txiv neej nyiam heev vim peb tsis xav pub kom nej txhob paub tab.tom nej no noj mov ua kab xwb tsis txhob rau saum rooj lawm .Cov poj niam muaj ntau yam peb cov txiv pheej muab lub qhov rooj kaw tsis qhib rau nej yog nej tsis qhib tiam twg los nej kawg tag qhov tseeb peb cov txiv muab nej lub hlwb txuav los ntej nej thiaj tsis paub lawm peb cov niam tsis sib hlub ces kawg tuag .
Cov txiv neej coj li koj tus no yog dev los thawj nas.
Peb cov poj niam yuav cov txiv ntseeg Vajtswv lawv tsis coj li no. Lawv Hlub lawv tus niam tsev thiab cov niam yog cov tsub noj lossis sawvdaws noj mov uake. Tsis hais thuam tiamsis yeej muaj tiag. Kuv tus txiv Hlub kuv heev thaum kuv tsis khoom nws tseem los ua zaub mov rau peb cov niam tus noj.
Cov neeg tau lub npe ua thawj coj vim tus niam tsev nquag, tus txiv tsev khav theeb quav dejcawv tau DUI license poob tas. Tseem muaj cov poob haujlwm vim mag ntes kaw. Thaum qaug lawm, sib deev kwvtij neejtsa phoojywg tej pojniam ua plaub ntug poob nyiaj tusiab tas. Sawvdaws tau mob zom zaws tuag zujzus, los txog hnub no yeej tsis tau hloov li.🍺🍹🍸🥂🍻👎👎👎👎👎
Peb cov hmoob uas ntseeg Vajtswv lawm coj txawv lawm tsi zoo li cov uas tseem coj kev cai qub lawm
Muaj ib co txiv neej mas ua mob hlwb tshaj plaw qhov ua liam yus tas li
Yog lawm os, kuv Los ib yam thiab kuv tsis ntshaw lub neej hmoob lawm, kuv yuav txiv meskas ib yam thiab,lawv yeej hlub poj niam dua thiab lawv tsis thuam peb cov poj niam mob mob hlo li. Lawv siv lo lus zoo zoo coj los hais rau yus thiab xwb os.
Nej thiaj tseem coj li ko xwb os vim nej mloog nej niam txoj kev qub. Tiam txiv neej dabtsi li ntawd na. Li ntawd ces tsuas tab tom ua qhev rau lawv xwb. Nej ua qhev xwb es lawv yuav ua cas ras tig los paub txog nej txoj kev khwv, sab, tshaib nqhis ma. Lub tseem meej mom yuav muaj ruaj khov mas nyias yuav tsum peem nyias mas thiaj muaj nuj nqis muaj txiaj ntsim pob.
Nov yog teb chaws meskas yog tiam 21 lawm nad viv ncaus hmoob. Peb yog neeg tib yam, tawm tib qho chaw los xwb nev. Nej ua ib yam ob yam los lawv yuav tsum ua ib yam, lawv noj ces nej noj thiab hos mas thiaj vam meej ov. Ua li nej ua ces kawg raug tsuj xwb.
Peb cov poj niam hmoob yuav tau ua kom taus taus mas. Xav muaj suab yuav tsum tawm suab. Xav kom hloov peb yuav tsum tau ua tus hloov. Tsis nyiam, peb yuav tsum txav kom deb. Pog yawg tsis thas nrhiav os mog, nrhiav Vajtswv xwb thiaj ncaj ncees os peb cov viv ncaus hmoob thiaj tsis raug tsim, tsis raug thuam, thiaj yuav yeej mog.
Peb cov txiv neej hmong lub zog, lub meej mom, ces heev los ntawm peb poj niam hmong xwb los mas cov uas mus yuav lwm haib neeg mas txiv neej hmong ces ua zoo li zoo rau thiab xwb tiag raws li kuv pom na
Tej lus ntawm ko ntseeg tsis tau kiag nawb...ib txij kuv tuaj txog lub teb chaws no lawm...thaum cov txiv neej noj mov lawv yeej rau ib rooj out side rau tej niam tsev txhua zaus li xwb
I agree with this lady 💯
Koj yuav qhuas lawv zoo los lawv yog lawv ib haiv neeg yog li ntawd es peb thiaj muaj2neeg khej dub txawj hu nkauj hmoob yog nej cov poj niam ntaj
Nej COV hmoob coj Kev cai qub xwb.peb COV tseeg Vajtswv tsis zoo li ntaw os.
Kuv xav tias tus niam tsev zoo li tus no mus yuav lwm haiv neeg zoo dua lawm. Vim nws txoj kev xav tsis thooj li hmoob lawm. Ces mus zoo koj nawb mog.
Yog kawg 3hmoob qhov kws muaj 1pluag noj los pheej cia cov pov niam noj ua qab qhov no yuav tsum tau hloov es tsau tau yuav tsum cia cov khub txij nkawm tuaj txhij yuav tsum sub nyob txhij es cov hluas tsi tau muaj khub yuav tsum mus nyob 1tog tsooj thiaj li yog vim 3twb nyob lub teb chaws vam meej muaj noj muaj haus thiab twb txog caij hloov lawm ces yuav tsum hloov 3txuj cai kom muaj hoj vam sib luag os 3haiv hmoob yog tsi ua li ces 1me ntsis 3 cov poj niam khiav mus caum lwm haiv neeg thiab mus ntseeg lawv cov ntseeg kev cai tshiab tag lawm ces 3hmoob yuav ntsib teeb meem dua thiab os.
Txiv neej ces yeej muaj cov siab phem li no os thiab hnub twg muaj meej mom ces yeej xav tias nws yog tus haib no ces yeej tsa qhov muag xam tus tshiab xwb os me niam tsev peb ces yeej taug ib txog kev zoo ib yam xwb os mog.
Tus viv ncaus aw cas koj yuav hais kiag kuv lub neej lis os. Kuv tsis yuav txiv lawm ces yog ntshais lub neej lwj siab xwb ma.
I believe this tradition is only for non-Christians...I've been to many parties like this! I am so Grateful that Christians' parties aren't like this...there's EQUALITY...Buffet style is the Best!
Kuv kuj yog ib tug neeg ntse ntsuav, tab sis, kuv yuav ib tsev neeg ua coj kev cai dab qhuas loj, thiab kev cai hmoob qub qub li zaj neej neeg no. Kuv tawm tsam cov kev cai no, ua rau kuv tus txiv tsev neeg no tsis nyiam kuv kiag. Thaum kawg, kuv yuav tsum phlws tes tso plhuav tsa chij lawm. Lawv lub hwj chim mas loj , phaj yawg dhau, phaj txiv dhau, los phaj tub tuaj. Ib pluag mov mas pov tej khoom noj uas lawv taum taum pov tseg ntau li ntau coj mus pov tseg. Kuv pom kuv lub siab quaj dhi hlub rau tej neeg pluag txom nyem tsis muaj noj muaj haus, tab sis hmoob ib txwm pluag, nyem no luam thuam dhau. Kuv tsis txhawb lub tswv yim hmoob no lawm.
Tus niam tsev no hais yog lawm ua rau kuv kawm tau lawm thiab nkag siab zoo lawm. Tsim nyog hais lawm. Kuv yog ib tug txiv neej hmoob thiab yuav tau ua qhov yog
Tsis yog khav, tabsis pev cov txivneej ntseeg Vajtswv tsis coj li yav qubqab lawm, rau qhov lawv raug hloov los ntawv Vajtswv txojlus. Lawv muaj Vajtswv rau hauv lawv lubplawv ce lawv yeej tsis coj li peb yam qub..qub tag los lawm.
Peb cov poj niam hmoob lawv yeej saib tsis muaj nqe li thaum tw kom pab ce hais tias kuv mam yuav tus los pab koj xwb os 1 nyuag yws ce yeej piv rau lwm tus xwb
Txheej thaum ub lawm xwb os sister peb muaj noj muaj haus poj niam nws noj nws ib lub rooj txiv neej noj txiv neej sawv daws yeej tau noj ib yam os peb tsis coj li txheej laus thaum ub lawm os
Yog tau tus txiv thiab caj ces siab loj siab zoo yeej tsis coj li koj tus txiv tsev neeg no, peb tuaj teb chaws vam meej no yeej muaj ib txhia yeej hloov lawm, ua li cas Los tso txiv neej lub meej mom siab dua yus mog vim lub ntuj yeej tsim yus Los Tom qab txiv neej tab thov Kom txiv neej ho saib poj niam rau nqi xwb
Ohhh es cas peb twb tseem coj kev cai qub, tab sis thaum noj mov los poj niam yeej noj nrog txiv neej noj ua ke sib npaug zos, tshuas yog tsis koom nrooj xwb...maybe it just the og's or ib co tseem thiaj coj li no xwb not all