Metamorphosis: The Horror of Disability
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 เม.ย. 2024
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What if you woke up one day as a monster? Kafka's Metamorphosis is a fantasy, but it's closer to reality than you might think.
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Intended or not this TH-cam is very close to antidisabled. Be careful.
Shame on you for making me cry!
I would love to see your analysis of H.G.Wells The island of Dr.Moreau
I have always said that the loss of ability (to do something) is the scariest thing. And this is well depicted in the anime Made in Abyss. In the movie continuation of said anime called Dawn of the Deep Souls, there is a scene where one character completely looses all of their bodyparts that are not essential for survival. Even their bones. Being turned into a tool for avoiding a curse for the wearer. This is terryfying. Knowing how fragile and upon destruction how unobtainable the ability to do things is ever again, is the most terrifying thing. That also goes for the loss of mind as well as body. And for the creatures of chaos that are self aware that is the ultimate horror. Or one of them at least
I never thought of Metamorphosis in such a light. It's interesting to see. I'm disabled myself, though invisibly so. I struggle with fibromyalgia and severe depression and it's robbed me even of my art based hobbies. Some days, all I have is this, just watching videos on the internet. And yeah, I echo that feeling of being worthless in the eyes of society. I dearly wish I could work any kind of job. The US has that kind of mindset too, that if you don't work, you're a blight on society. The people who push that idea never stop to think about disabled people. They imagine welfare queens who are capable, but choose not to and want to tighten any kind of welfare programs that are already difficult even for severely disabled people to not just get into, but keep.
I was really upset about "The metamorphasis." Not because of the story itself, but because of how I experienced it. I read it for an assignment in public school. There clearly was a deeper meaning to the story, but the quiz was only about the objective facts of it. The moral I learned from The Metamorphasis was that school (in America, at least) doesn't teach you to think, it teaches you to answer.
School is teaching you to contribute to society in a useful way, rather than helping you to actually learn. It hurts, knowing that our society is fundamentally built on selfishness. And the most simple-seeming of changes to something such as schooling is nearly impossible with so many moving parts depending on the absence of change for something as insubstantial as, well, society.
Sadly, it's not just America's schools are like this ..
Schools in Japan and India are the same way, too. They just teach you how to answer questions as oppose to think for yourself. God forbid if you do think for yourself instead of other people, you'll be ostracized from the group as a whole.
Same here in both my school and highschool, i live in Brazil tho. It's a shame all i thought about the questions were "this doesn't really let me give my own take on the book if they want a specific answer" anytime i had an exam
@@Voc_spooksauce I know, because when I read The Stranger for the Summer Reading Program and answered the questions that I gave to my new Language Arts Literature teacher in my senior year in high school I got a C for it. I was too empathetic towards the main character of the story but I didn't understand why he did it to begin with and it would be nice if we all taked about the whys as oppose to the whats.
As someone that became disabled 13 years ago, this is spot on. Especially how the behavior of others around you changes almost overnight. Says a lot about us as a society.
ATLEAST YOU WERE'NT BORN WITH A DISABILITY, YOU KNOW YOU NEED HELP, AND MAY SEEK IT, MEANWHILE I STAY IN MY LITTLE FREEDOM, IN THE DARKNESS OF NIGHT, I DONT NEED HELP, I SIMPLY DONT KNOW BETTER, I ENJOY THIS WAY OF LIFE, I SIMPLY DONT WANT HELP, BUT MAYBE YOU CAN BECOME THE BEST YOU, SO SHOW SOCIETY YOUR GREATEST METAMORPHOSIS!
I'm sorry you're experiencing that. Hope the happiness in your life to exceed the sadness
As someone who was born with a physical disability, I especially feel for those who experience late onset disability. This state is my default and all I’ve known. It's different when you've had the norm you were used to completely upended. I can scarcely imagine the amount of resilience you've had to muster and I commend you for it. Stay strong, friend.
@@decentsleepas someone who was born with a disability too, I completely agree with you 😙
@@decentsleep hEDS haver here. I agree. I've always known that I need more support, whether I actually get it or not. And I have 2 good friends who have a sudden disability. One by injury, the other Cancer. They have told me how shocking it is to suddenly be in pain for seemingly no reason, and I taught them some skills for managing it. Life is tragic, but that's what makes the good parts good.
The horse that pulls the wagon is always the one who breaks his leg first.
And how quickly they forget the labor! How quickly they plan on turning the horse into glue, unapologetically thinking the injured beast a burden and they the inconvenienced victims.
AND HE IS ALSO THE FIRST TO BE TURNED IN TO GLUE...
PS: IGNORE THE CAPS, MY KEYBOARD BROKE.
@@lourdespachla6516NO PROBLEM MAN
@@maple22moose44 YAY I AM NOT ALONE
@@lourdespachla6516 what the lol
Confession time: I was my father's primary caregiver when he was suffering from Dementia and a whole host of other health issues (while, incidentally, hiding the fact that I suffer from depression). I was about to crack under caregiver fatigue when he passed away from stomach cancer, and I ABSOLUTELY HATE MYSELF for feeling relief when he finally died.
I hope you're doing well
Just remember, you didn't feel relief at your father's death. You felt relief because suddenly all the ungodly amounts of physical and mental energy you had to dedicate to take care of the needs of somebody else got freed up.
This does not detract from your grieving, nor does it mean you're a monster. Your body and unconscious mind simply gave you the signal that it was time to start moving again.
Also, dementia and the general decay of the body that accompanies elderly people in their death is tough to bear for them, and the people around them. And it wouldn't be surprising to feel a degree of relief once you cease exposure to such a grim reminder. And in that case again, remember that you feel relief not because your father left, but because extremely mentally taxing conditions finally left the forefront of your mind alone.
And finally, this guilt, or hate that you feel for yourself is self-inflicted. You have an immense power that is shared with every other human. It's the power to change, to take the steering wheel of your life. And there is nothing more exhilarating than being in the driver seat even when the roads get bumpy. However, if you do not consciously make use of that steering wheel. Somebody else, or a certain part of yourself will. And you may not like where they're steering.
Hopefully this wasn't too long and my english was understandable, cheers from France and from somebody slowly but surely crawling upwards. You're loved by others and are worthy of loving yourself
@@optimizedlaziness6183 Absolutely well said
Don't feel so bad, sweetie. I heard someone put it like this: The reason why grief wasn't the first thing you felt when he died was because you have already grieved. You silently grieved for the person your loved one was.
You were drowning trying to keep yourself afloat, let alone someone else. You were struggling, and like optimized said, you weren't relieved he died. You were relieved a painful burden and responsibility was gone.
That's normal and human, don't beat yourself up
You freaking made me cry, robot-man. Disabled myself, have people constantly telling me I don't deserve good food. Feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I decide to save up and buy myself a nice dinner. And I'm younger than 50, nowhere near retirement age. So your outlining exactly what this story is about? Right in the feels. Maybe I should listen and nod along when my mom's griping. She won't be around forever.
Food is nothing someone need to deserve.
Please get every dinner you like ❤
(A part of me believed this too for years, it's hard the first times)
Some people think that your merit is directly tied to your capability to produce labour. That's wrong, your worth is inherent because you are human. Don't think otherwise.
i would love to cook for you. i can cook really yummy and pretty dishes on days that i have the energy for it 🤍
but yeah, i was close to tears as well
Food is a human Right Tell the people that
You gotta practice treating yourself right to unlearn that. Don't be like my parents who are never satisfied because they believe that everyone should suffer as they did
I am very disabled. Almost no one is willing to talk about the reality of disability, that it is often repulsive, burdensome to others, or humiliating. This video almost make me cry, even though I know already this story. Thank you very much for making this
Hey, I wish you a really good life. You're surviving, and even though I don't really know you, you bet I'm proud!
You're doing a good job, even if it's a daily for you. Even if it's just a bunch of tasks that would be considered easy by others.
Sending hugs 🫂
Hey, I'm a younger disabled person, and I look up to people like you. You remind me that I'm not alone and am not immortal nor already dead.
Living with depression, this story has always resonated with me. I quite often wake up as someone foreign to me.
WHO ARE YOU TODAY THEN?
@@lourdespachla6516 Your mom 😏
Not all disabilities are visible from the outside
I hope you prevail and heal soon from your depression. As long as you try to exercise, get a therapist/supporting person, and try out a new hobby, you'll be fine. I know, because I used to be depressed when I was younger. Sending love and prayers! ❤🙏
In all seriousness, I've suffered with that same dissociative feeling at points as well and wish the best for you.
As someone with Autism this is spot on. My family has actually been pretty good about it, but if I tell anyone else they'll either start treating me like a child, or just be really rude. And don't even get me started on the times Ive had meltdowns in public places
As a Teen with a bit of the tism myself along with adhd, I get the pain
It’s the worst feeling in the world and it just makes me feel… different, and somehow, some way, no matter how nice or kind or how much I try to hide it I always feel like people can tell that I’m different and treat me differently because of it,
maybe they talk to me like I’m stupid and try to be nicer like someone talking to a 6 year old
Other times I feel like me and my friends are outright hated for just being different and are always treated like outcasts by other teens, never able to hang with the popular kids and all the popular girls only talk to me when they have to for work or to try and get me to say something they gossip about and spread rumors about and tell to all of their friends and suddenly I’m dealing with that same thing from freshman year all the way until I’m a senior
It’s rough to feel different
@@spacesharkwriter6554 I think the way autism is portrayed in media causes people to think of us as unintelligent.
yeah, my best of friends don't really see me as human
sucks when first impressions with new people are pretty much ruined in one fell swoop via "shut up you're literally autistic"
they say they're joking with an "okay, fine. i'll exercise my patience to accommodate for you since you're so blind. i'm not being serious. you know that at least, right?" - but it's really obvious this is just how they've been taught to treat people like me
then they go off and get a tri-piece friendship bracelet magnet. even i can see that's a little fucked lol
@@logged-out those are not real friends
I've been lucky with my friends and family (I only have like 5 friends) but general everyday people have said things like 'oh you don't look it' . I never know how to respond to that.
I read The Metamorphosis only last year, coincidentally about 2 years after my girlfriend started dealing with a severe mobile disability. Like everyone else I was quick to denounce the way Gregors family acts as if this is a problem happening to them, but the more I read the more I had to face that I’m the same way. At least in my most tired, frustrated, and bitter days. It haunts me to think I easily I could have fallen into bitter selfishness, how in another world I could have convinced myself that she was no longer the person I fell in love with. It’s validating in a way to know that these feelings happen to other caretakers, but more so, it reminds me of the kind of person I could become if I’m not careful.
I'm glad you touched on that, cuz frankly, you're right. Caretaker burnout is a thing, and it's a huge problem. I think that needs to be discussed in a mature manner, and not just viciously judged as caretakers being bad people.
I have a number of mental issues depression, anxiety, autism and paranoia, to name a few. I feel for gregors plight because when you aren't 100%, it's hard not to feel like a total burden to those around you.
Everyone loves you until the mental illness symptoms Flare up.
My dad has frontal-temporal dementia. I can't even begin to describe the pain of watching him turn into a different person as he slowly dies in front of me.
Your strong. Keep being a light in the dark.
@@Wickedesu Thank you.
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How long did they give him?
@@originalchildclown Oh, geez. I don't remember. He's only hanging on because he's so stubborn.
I once went to a performance (a PERFORMANCE) of this work. I expected the Greek myth collection of metamorphosis, and instead I got Kafka's version. Genuinely horrifying, and the actors were so incredibly good at their role. I can never forget it.
For your future reference Ovid's myth anthology is "Metamorpho*ses*", plural and no article. Kafka's book is "The Metamorphosis" singular, and with an article.
I’ve had a colostomy for almost 2 years. And I can’t think of a single movie or tv show that has shown what it’s like to have one.
Your still beautiful dude ,
The only thing that can gross me out is an ugly soul.
My sister had to temporarily have one (they had removed 50 cm of her colon, so they gave her an AP to let the tissues heal), and I was her caretaker during that time.
It sucks. Especially the part during changing the bags were the colon gets agitated and… yeah. It sucks. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for her. She was always so embarrassed… 🫣
Will you have the AP for the rest of your life, or is it temporary as well?
With you having that, you might be the Santa Claus that came to my house when I was a kid. I didn't get presents, but what your bag contains. Tis the season!
@@ViirinSoftworks what a weird thing to write.
@@bigjohnman84 Thank you! Just trying to show solidarity- I used to go mountaineering but now I can barely move on my own. I know what it's like to have everything taken away, including the use of your own body, and how quickly people throw us away once we no longer provide money and resources.
It's like people don't even see the "condition" when they say "unconditional love". People like you and me and the bug have seen it, though.
Man honestly I feel so angry towards Gregor family because as Tale Foundry mentioned in the video Gregor was the only one that supported the entire family and now they will just cast him aside and forget everything he has done for them it’s so unbearable to me, I mean he could’ve left his family to rot If he wanted to
“You might feel her pulling you into her world for a moment, away from the rest of society.” This is probably my favorite line in this whole wonderful video. I’m disabled/chronically ill and mostly housebound. On the rare occasion I get to hang out with my friends in person, I have nothing to talk about that isn’t related to my health, because *everything in my life* relates to my health. They’re out advancing their careers and building a life, and I’m here fighting my insurance and trying to find a shampoo i’m not allergic to. There is so much shame associated with every part of being chronically ill, and the urge to isolate yourself can be overwhelming at times, but connecting with others is a large part of what makes us human.
To my fellow disabled people: If you ever feel guilty for allowing yourself some small joy (or selfish for even wanting to), remember that pleasure is part of life as much as suffering is, and you suffering through your time rather than enjoying it isn’t helping anyone. You don’t have to justify your existence to yourself (or anyone who purports to care about you!), it’s okay to just live :)
As a smart and ambitious person who became disabled, I definitely grieve my loss of productivity and potential. It is like waking up in a unfamiliar and broken body.
And society no longer values me as most of what I do is unpaid labour.
I hadn't thought about the disability aspect when i first read it. Thanks for the insightful take.
In the same boat. I've been forced to relearn who I am outside of work. Hope you at least find happiness 💛
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Same. I was a mountaineer, and now I can only really move with an electric wheelchair. So, I started getting into mad science. No one's looking, and I have the time...
As a man with terminal cancer. I feel this on such a deep level. Before I was sick I was everyone's rock. My whole family relied on me financially and emotionally. I also had my child with an absent mother I was responsible for. Once I got sick, everyone left. No one needed me anymore so they didn't need to keep me around. My daughter is even leaving now after she told me she's embarrassed of me looking like I have cancer. She doesn't want anyone to see me. I haven't even taken a photo with my 11yr old daughter in two years now. She's officially going into her mother's full custody this summer. Now I just wait to die I guess. Life really is cruel to us bugs.
Hey man, how are you doing today? Just wanted to check on you.
Im so sorry sir. My dad recently got diagnosed with kidney failure so I’m in the same position as your daughter. Its so horrible that she acts that way. You’re not a burden, I know it must feel like it but everyone who is alive deserves to live. We were all brought into this world for a reason. My dad was also the rock for my family. We all lived off of his income and when he couldn’t work anymore he was devastated and felt like a failure. But I know he isn’t and I know you aren’t. You’re a strong man for even working so hard for your family. I personally hate work as someone who is more artistic and can’t stand work culture so I applaud anyone who makes it more than a year. My family all had mixed reactions to my dads sickness when it happened. A lot of my aunts and uncles never even showed up to the hospital to support him when he almost died. I tell my dad all the time that he should be happy he’s blessed with the opportunity to keep living with his sickness when people all the time die due to not having the resources to survive. Maybe everything hurts and life sucks right now but at least you’re lucky enough to feel the breeze on your skin, to watch blue skies, and feel grass beneath your feet. I hope things get better for you sir and I’m sure one day they will :)
@@inkcruz4075 thank you, it really means a lot. And I'm genuinely excited for the future. I dedicated over a third of my life to other people. They abandoned me. But now I get to take what ever is left and finally live for myself. That includes a cruise this summer! I'm finally leaving the country and seeing the world like I always wanted to. That's all I'm going to do, until I can't anymore. I'm sure you are the most amazing daughter/son your father could have asked for!
There's nothing quite like feeling abandoned by other people who you believe see you as an 'undue burden '.
One of the worst things in this society is how we silently treat our disabled. A lot of time it seems as if society is telling us that we did something wrong to end up this way. Almost as if our "poor" choices led to it. I was injured in Afghanistan. Even while still in the military I was treated like an event that was completely out of my control; an event that is a very possible result of serving your country, was my fault. None of us chose to be this way; would ever choose to be this way.
YES. My right arm was paralyzed in a skiing accident, and afterwards I pushed myself beyond what was healthy to be successful. It was because of this; I was so afraid of being useless, a creature to be pitied, mocked, or shunned
I relate to this story, for I was born as a bug. Growing up with autism has been a burden to myself and others, especially since I used to be severely socially awkward. I had no friends during that period, and the ones I managed to get eventually left. The only person I was truly able to speak to was my big sister.
She resented me, to the point that she started to smother me with insults and tear away any of my boundaries. She made me not want to depend on my parents for anything, since she told me I was a burden. She told me her problems mattered more, since she was abused until she was adopted. This irony of this is that, due to her past abuse, she started to abuse me the same way her parents did.
When she had to go to college, I actually was a much more ‘normal’ person, since she was actually hindering my ability to function.
Oh my stars, my life is a mirror reflection of yours, minus the adopted sister. My sister and I share blood, but that's the only thing we have in common. She told me all the time growing up that I wasn't going to move out of our "parents" house until I was at least 25, if I moved out at all.
Mind you, I was undiagnosed autistic and ADHD all my childhood and teen years. So my "parents" made the assumption I was choosing to be difficult and struggle at school, because I had shown I was gifted when I had the mental energy to do school work. Turns out having ADHD as well as being a previously gifted kid makes me a twice exceptional, and such circumstances require an approach my "parents" and older sister couldn't fathom.
My sister used to smack me upside the head, taunt me, say I was terrible at singing (everyone else in my life had said they either get goosebumps or are shookth in a good way when they hear me sing, but I find it hard to believe them). She used to try and drown me, then would claim her childhood was harder cause she was 8 when our birth giver left our sperm donor, and I was 4. What she doesn't realise through the pain of that chip on her shoulder (meaning major victim mentality) is that she had longer familial stability than I did. Just because our father was abusive to her for longer, doesn't mean she had it worse. The fact that my first coherent memory was of our bio parents breaking up and were fighting about me, then growing up mostly fatherless is worse than any bruised backside. Bruises heal, but knowing you're the reason your parents broke up because you needed medical attention does a number on your psyche.
Both my sister and my birth giver's husband made me feel like a burden. And I can't shake the independence streak they've instilled in me, which they also berate me for, because I clearly struggle.
Fun thing about autism is that we experience recurrent catatonia, which isn't just temporary brain body disconnect, there's also an active side to the symptom. It's why so many late diagnosed autistic people are first diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2. Active catatonia looks like mania, but it lasts only a couple hours, till you fizzle out and go still again. I would go full steam ahead cleaning, then my ADHD distracted ass would conspire with my autistic catatonia and I'd end up doomscrolling or frozen in deep thought tangents, appearing as if I'm choosing to do nothing. So they saw me powering through one minute then freeze the next, and the next day I'd be in so much pain and/or exhausted, and they'd think I was being too lazy to attend to my other responsibilities. Nah, my hEDS, ADHD executive dysfunction and ASD inertia would leave me bedridden like I had come down with the flu. If I was laying in bed, aching and tired, my BG's husband would make me get up and do something or risk loosing my phone for a week minimum.
The concept of varying physical and mental ability is mystifying to those who are able bodied and minded enough to carry on business as usual every single day, while also being so evil as to play victim so they can justify their abuse towards you. It's demonic.
@@audreydoyle5268 My life isn't yours, but I'm severely disabled too. I will give you one argument, though. It isn't demonic. If you read the bible (I'm not capitalizing it because I don't believe in or respect it), even demons aren't that bad. Humans are worse than demons.
@@ViirinSoftworks
Not really, but I understand that's not what you're actually getting at.
As someone that is losing more and more function on a daily because of a back injury from an accident, this made me genuinely cry. An accurate depiction of what it feels like to suddenly just be something that is taking up space
That’s how I feel constantly. Just a waste of space to my husband and children and thought I can still do a lot, there are times where I’m like “how long can I push it until I lose more function?”
I’m trying so desperately hard to contribute something, ANYTHING, but it feels fruitless and like I’ve done something WRONG because of how it affects me afterwards.
I totally understand man. I've had chronic back pain too, it's so unbelievably debilitating.
@@adaharrisonn I honestly cannot wait until I can get the total disc replacements I need when the lawsuit is over. The other drivers insurance is dragging it out as long as they can but I’m not backing down cus I NEED that surgery. Until then I feel like such a burden and losing more time I could, SHOULD, be spending enjoying my youth and my children. Back issues suck so bad
i never thought about the story like that, but you're so right, and it hits close to home.
nowadays a popular alternative to disgust or rejection (especially for us who are, ostensibly at least, not "that badly" disabled) is forced toxic positivity. like, all we hear is "some with [insert disability here] are super successful in life" yes, i can pretty much do everything anyone else can but at like tenfold the cost or even worse, and people just don't get that, well, that is unfortunately the normal of many people with disability. we have to be brilliantly economic and frugal with our resources, and often times that doesn't even show. and when we do let it show, we are back at the disgust and contempt, and back with the feelings of guilt.
thank you for this beautiful video.
So in this metaphor there would be people talking about how strong ants are and you're going "but I'm a weird beetle thing that can't even fly..."
I remember reading The Metamorphosis when I was maybe 18 or 19 (many many years ago) and thinking ‘yeah, this kind of makes me think of being a teenager’. Your body changes outwith your control, you don’t really know who you are, you don’t know where to fit in.
I grew up and became a psych nurse - and I see it all the time.
Yes, the actual story is a bit crazy at first, but looking at it as a metaphor for life changes it hits the nail on the head.
There are so many people living with disabilities who have it so tough everyday, and online since everyone is faceless it becomes even harder to see. The thing that constantly gets me is that even 100 years ago a huge majority of the disabled people alive now would simply not have survived because of lack of care and treatment options. There is a lot bad right now but there is also a lot good, and for disabilities, we are living in a time that has never been better. If you are reading this and have a disability, I am glad you are here with us. There is so much value in the soul and the mind, do not let anyone tell you you are worth less than anybody else.
Hey, thank you for the positivity, but I think it accidentally comes across as toxic positivity. It may come across to a disabled person as "Well that sucks, but you're lucky you ain't dead tho". Hope this helps!
@@galaxyjam3742 Sorry it came off that way, it was definitely not my intent, but that people often talk down that disabled people are a drain on the economy and aren't worth a lot, which I fully disagree with because there is so much value in a human soul
@@WeyounSix Its ok, I know it wasn't intentional! Nonetheless I find it important to point out so that anyone who sees your comment and dwells badly on it won't be the 'only one' and therefor feel like a sensitive snowflake or whatever. Seeing you admit it was an accident will also likely help.
A friend told me about how much he hated the story, and felt obligated to tell everyone how bad Metamorphosis is. Now that I've heard the summary... It's quite relatable. I wanted to become a guitarist, or at least a guitar teacher. I knew, that at some point my hands wouldn't allow me to play music again. I imagined this time to arrive in my 50s. Not before I became 19. It's been a few years already, but I'm still not at peace with everything. Barely anything, in fact. It feels really bad depending on others. Especially, when you were too young to have worked, back when the disability began. It feels bad, when your friends leave you for something, you have no control over. No one can see my disability. For me it's just pain. And a lot of people can't comprehend, that I really do want to work, and that I dispise depending on others. I just don't have a choice.
This has always been my greatest fear in fiction. The idea of irreversable involuntary transformation is so horrifying to me.
I didn't fully understand this story when I read it in school but now I and a few close family are actively living through a number of the situations you mentioned in here: caring day and night for the disabled family members who everyone else acts repulsed by, becoming disabled yourself and watching as people turn on you, and going from the caretaker to the cared-for and being resented for it, and becoming dead to the family because they can't exploit you anymore.... so that's been fun.
Great video. Looking forward to more.
i'm in the middle of nursing clincals at an old folks' home. this video gives new layers to the way that dementia affects my patients and the way that some of the more heart-hardened staff treat them because of it. i really appreciate that you mentioned things like colostomy bags and catheters, because it really drives home that these things exist around us and the people who have these are still human. it's astounding how much disrespect and shame these people have to deal with. also, i liked the detail in your animation of one of your characters having a cochlear implant. the shape was simple and fit the animation style, but i could clearly distinguish it from a hearing aid. i just thought that was cool.
I wept when I finished this book. The level of empathy Kafka demands you to feel for Gregor is so powerful. As someone with a disability, I appreciate the nuance with which you approach the caregiver/disabled family member’s relationship.
I choose to smile in spite of my trauma. I will always search for that silver lining...and if it cannot be found, I search harder. I will never become a monster. That is a choice I work on every single day. The harsher this life, the softer my reaction to it becomes over time because it is what I choose with my free will. Some call me resiliant...I am just human trying to enjoy my time here until I am no longer. I am disabled and have few years left...and I am gonna spend those years being kind and happy in spite of everything. My life has been full of trauma...but I refuse to let it define me or dictate my character.
I find myself to be in a similar situation. I hope that you are well and all the best. You are doing great. Don't give up. Life is harsh, but we have a choice to go easy on ourselves (and others) by being kind and forgiving. We can and we will figure things out. Love from a stranger.
Spiderman why did you make that guy?
“If you search for the light you will often find it but if you search for darkness it is all you will ever see” -Uncle Iroh
Even if you don't agree, I think that mentality DOES make you stronger than most people. It takes a lot of will power to be a good person, when youre dealing with a terminal condition. And I think it makes for a more fulfilling life too. I hope you have a good day.
@@alexbayswood4847
Not the place that joke dude
I'm writing this as I watch this video. I've been disabled for basically my entire life (hearing loss starting at age 2, 21 as of writing), and ever since I've watched a movie based on the book, I've seen it as a metaphor for disability. I'm glad someone else made that connection
For clarification, I'm not 100% deaf. I still retain some of my hearing, half on the right, 3/4 on the left. For now, at least
Well I clearly need to read this book. I took a nap one day in 2008, woke up with “the flu” and I’ve been sick with MECFS ever since. I haven’t been able to work since 2013, I’m mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I basically only leave for doctors appointments and it takes a huge toll on me. It’s taken a lot of therapy to feel like a valid human being still (and I don’t always succeed) since I don’t “do” very much at all, especially compared to pre-ME days. This story really speaks to me.
Hey, I'm the primary writer of this video. I actually wrote it about my own experience with ME/CFS. Pretty much the exact same thing happened to me when I was 11.
@@BeccaGhusn oh my goodness, I had no idea! First, I’m so incredibly sorry that you’ve had to live with this hideous illness for so long and through such formative years of your life. But secondly, I’m extremely grateful that you found the spoons to write such a masterful script. Clearly it spoke to me! I think the story and how you frame it is a really spectacular example of showing what life is like for so many of us who find ourselves afflicted with sudden illness/disability. Thank you so much for your response and for sharing your experience! I’ll be sharing your video to my (very small) audience for May 12, which is ME Awareness Day. I really hope you find relief and joy and hope and happiness despite what this illness has taken from you! 💙
@@sarahallegra6239 Thank you so much! I'm really glad to hear you found it cathartic. I hope you find some relief and joy as well, and that you're able to regain some of your previous function! I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to work at all, so I feel you on how frustrating that is.
This is not just of disability but aging with dignity. The loss of one’s ability due to aging is one in which we are all going through a predetermined metamorphosis.
In context, I guess I always WAS a beatle, I just never noticed, and half my life people around me pretended I wasn't. It wasn't until I finally got some help and understood what was wrong with me better that I could actually escape the stress all that caused me, and just live my life. It's a small life, but it's mine.
Disabled person here! Worth and productivity are tied. So this reinforces ableism, when disabled people are viewed as societal burdens. I, like most disabled people, have received ableism from family and abandonment in time of need. Gregor's family was a lot like mine. It's also important to recognize non-physical and invisible disabilities: like mental illnesses, autism, and autoimmune disorders. We're disbelieved because they can't be seen. Vulnerable disabled people are five times as likely to be abused/neglected by their family than the able-bodied - and sadly this was true of me, too. It's also possible that Gregor comes from a narcissistic family system where he existed only to be used, and they resented that they could no longer benefit from him.
This was a very empathetic take on disability and I thank you for it. 💛
Fifteen times, actually. I'm autistic, schizophrenic, have a CSF leak so I can't stand or walk, and a left rotator cuff tear. I left a bunch of stuff out. Depending on where you live, you're allowed to live. I just need to move back to where I came from before I showed up here.
What's really fun, is it was abuse from family that got me this broken, and they never took me seriously to begin with. Me being unable to defend myself made them act like a lion licking its lips.
@@ViirinSoftworks I hope the internet is the escape you need. Get into writing if it helps. You seem to make good use of metaphors to show how your family acts. You could easily use those metaphors to write some POWERFUL revenge/poetic catharsis stories (Just be careful bc writing those can lead to further abuse or lamenting your inability to 'free yourself' irl
I became almost totally immobilized with an invisible condition 4 years ago that shows no signs of improvement and this story is what I recommend to everyone when they ask me what being sick, isolated and homebound feels like.
Maybe this is why the main character of Kaiju no 8 is named Kafka Habino
Both woke up from bed transformed too
Yep.
WHAT
Brand new Anime on Crunchyroll.
@@CynthiaMcG and a manga
So, I kinda have the perspective of the family here, I have to take care of my granddad who has severe dementia and while it's sad, and I try my hardest, he is disgusting, he shits himself, he pisses on the floor, he constantly drools as his mouth is always opened. I want to take care of him, but it's hard.
Before, I took care of my Grandaunt, she completely lost her sense of self, effectively being a giant toddler that had to be carefully moved from side to side multiple times a day, so that she doesn't get bed sores. Also, again, she had to be cleaned daily, this included cleaning her from excrement and while I was sad she died it was a relief, she wasn't herself, and it took multiple hours each day just to keep her living.
It's easy to say that the family is evil here, but I certainly know many people that couldn't do half the things you need to do to care for a severely disabled person.
I follow a man who writes a blog about his hobby which we share. He's in his 70s and has had a number of health issues over the past few years. Everyone who follows him, many also deep in the same hobby, have been very supportive of him throughout his troubles.
I have to say, the idea of finding out he is no longer able to engage in his hobby would be truly heartbreaking.
I lost nearly all my eyesight about a year ago. The depths of misery i feel are awful. I hope I'm not a burden to my sisters
I have always had a visual disability as well as a few mental ones. Understand how you feel. I had a family member who thought I was a burden. It really affected me as a kid, but I'm doing better now. I hope that your family does see you in a bad light.
To many times this is true for to many people. The problem is that many don't see others going through it, even when they themselves did experience it. While other times due to how we are treated, we become the thing they claim we are. My own neighbors drove a relative from our neighborhood, just because they where different. They used the local system to do it also. Yet even though they broke many laws, it was my relative removed, as they where driven to snap. But like so many times, nothing ever gets done about the real monsters. This story hit's very close to home, in many ways.
I wasn't feeling very good today, I'm still not really. But this video going over ableism, self-perception, and societal expectation helped re-contextualize or at least confirm things in my mind. Thank you as ever, much love to all at Tale Foundry.
It's true as well if you have a disability that isn't immediately visible or is easily disguised, especially neurological ones like ADHD or autism (I have the latter). On the one hand, you often feel the need to mask so you can move in neurotypical society and you might even get angry when you see other people who don't, or genuinely can't, mask it, because they serve as a reminder of the fact that ultimately, you have the same disability. On the other, at some point, you have to acknowledge that, because of the way the world is set up, you ARE disabled by definition. Even if you mask or overcome the obstacles put in front of you, it's never going to go anywhere and no amount of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" or conforming to societal standards are gonna change that.
I've got both, and it's really hard. I can't work a normal job at the 'acceptable' pace, so I usually get fired :/
I can't bootstrap. I get slapped down onto the floor if I try to even reach for my bootstraps.
@crispy7499 the irony is that the phrase was originally meant to illustrate that it was difficult to impossible for poor or otherwise disadvantaged people to advance in a society operated by and for the benefit of the wealthy.
@@GallowglassVT I think about that irony all the time; it's up there with "oh, he's just a bad apple" when the original saying is that "one bad apple spoils the whole barrel", which is entirely applicable to the situations where the abbreviated concept is applied :/
Also, as a person with maybe-narcolepsy and previous mobility issues, I've spent a long time in the invisible disability space. I'm fortunate enough to have a group of neurodivergent friends who are familiar with the experience of being considered lazy or worthless because of something intrinsic to themselves; it's helped me a lot. I'm still deeply frustrated that I don't have enough energy to give my mother, whose dementia is slowly destroying her, the attention and care she deserves. I wish I could drive so I could visit her without having to ask for help.
"...and you might even get angry when you see other people who don't, or genuinely can't, mask it, because they serve as a reminder of the fact that ultimately, you have the same disability." God dammit. Only after reading those words do I now understand where that specific anger comes from, and with that revelation also comes a great deal of shame.
I'm actually weepy watching this video. I've never ever heard someone talk about what this experience feels like, while not trying to hide at all how existentially exhausting and detaching it becomes to lose your body to illness.
My condition has passed the point I'm able to work, but because of my upbringing as a forced caregiver, I've learned not only how to manage and care for my condition but all of my loved ones. It's shaming and degrading to be both so utterly dependant on, and yet, so very responsible for managing the care of each. It becomes so easy to give care then, to others as you learned how and you are desperate as well that maybe they give kindness in turn.
Thank you for covering this so honestly and compassionately. Now I've really got to go find this book
As someone who was diagnosed with Cancer 2 years ago and needing chemotherapy, which resulted in me getting Acute Necrotising Pancreatitis then almost dying on 9 separate occasions putting me in Paediatric IIntensive Care Unit for over 400 days I can really relate to Greg was going through and what foundry was saying. The enormous sense of guilt for at least one of my parents needing to be taking care of me around the clock and them not being able to do things they want to do with their friends and each other, just makes me feel so bad and not wanting to be around so that they could have their lives back. I don’t feel that way anymore and have gotten out of PICU but am still in hospital right now so I still feel they don’t have their live back. Makes me really sad.
That's my favorite video you guys have made so far (and I love all of them). I have been disabled by long COVID, chronic fatigue, constant migraines, POTS, became bedbound for two years now, lost my job and had to quit my degree, now I live on my bed trying to distract myself and get better however I can, luckily my family supports me a lot. Thanks for this.
All my best wishes for your recuperation and comeback
@@abydosianchulac2 tysm, I already have improved 70% in relation to my worst moments, that's a lot but I still can't work, I can wait to be able to work and study again, but there is no giving up, soon I'll get there ^^
I'm happy to hear you have a good support network. I wish good things for you soon 💛
Im disabled pretty severely but it's largely in ways that people won't see right away so it lets me hide much of it. I think the fact that my issues aren't visible makes it easier for people to feel sympathy when they learn what I struggle with, it's a discussion I have had with myself a few times while coming to terms with myself.
I always wonder, if they could see a physical representation of what I feel and my limitations, would they start turning away because it's too much to see? And as I get worse, I worry people will walk away more when I need them most.
What baffles me most is that the people in charge of disability aid look at me and say "eh". I have been denied all kinds of aid because they can't see it, and think im lying. Even though when experts speak up and examine me, they say "Oh yeah she NEEDS this help!"
I think everyone in charge of policy making should be forced to live a week, at least, in the shoes of the people they try to force policy on first... So they know exactly what kind of suffering they cause and how it feels. Cripple them temporarily (like tying hands so they can't bend their fingers, use only a wheelchair or cane for mobility, make it impossible for them to bend their legs, make it impossible for them to eat or sleep normally, so they can get even a tiny taste of what some people suffer).
Have them be turned away for all kinds of help they need, have their money taken away, make them feel isolated and helpless. Give them a budget to live on so small that they could barely fathom it. Shake them when they try to cook or clean so they can't hold a spoon or a mop, take their feet out from under them with no warning. Give them a straw to breath through and then tell them to go walk three miles because there's no transport assistance and they can't afford a taxi or an uber. If they could understand the fear of SELF that disability can cause then maybe they would have more compassion...
I was diagnosed with Asperger's (which I believe is now more commonly known as high-functioning autism) and I read metamorphosis as a teenager. I seem to remember I thought about the whole disability metaphor while reading it. Also, I took the mini-bus (short-bus to Americans) for the disabled/handicapped (apart from the kids who used wheelchairs, they had to use a separate bus) to secondary school (high school to Americans) and when I told the premise to some of the kids there, they thought it sounded cool, especially how the cause of the transformation was never explained.
They went on to theorize that it was radiation from a government experiment and it was set in the Fallout world. That was fun.
I have Asperger's, too, along with AD/HD and some other problems. For the record, we can still describe ourselves that way, according to the medical community's new rules. But the new term is actually "Autism Spectrum Disorder," or ASD, while "high-functioning autism" got thrown out with "Asperger's."
Eh I personally never liked the term "High-functioning autism". What so other kinds of autism cant function? What is non functioning?
@@astick5249 no, the other term is "low functioning", at least as far as I'm aware.
I think the current terminology is low/medium/high support needs. Asperger's got merged with autism because they couldn't figure out where one ended and the other began.
@@Darkninja105 Thats because Asperger's was considered a form of Autism, however it was only marked as separate because of a Nazi doctor trying to decide which Autistic children were useful enough not to be slaughtered.
This will resonate with the veterans that find it hard to change from coming home. It’s a struggle. Remember, one small step at a time will lead to miles of growth. Keep it up.
Max Bialystock: "Act One, Scene One: Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to find he had transformed into a giant cock-a-roach...nah, too good."
This video hit hard. I wrote in my journal yesterday how I felt like a bug for the past year. My mate passed late last year. I had spent the last 5 years taking care of him.
This is a fascinatingly new take on _The Metamorphosis_ for me. I will never think of this story in quite the same way, ever again, and I finally understand why most people find it so much less painful and horrifying than I do! Even stranger, during the intro, when Talebot said "that happens all the time, you're just not supposed to notice," for a moment I thought you'd touch on how I've always seen this story.
I've always seen it very differently: as a metaphor for learning to see what people really think of you. To me, the change in Gregor's family's attitude towards him seemed like they were abandoning their masks. Once Gregor could no longer provide for them, and keep them in a leisure-filled, middle-class lifestyle, they either began to resent him, or allowed their lack of genuine familial love for him to show. Having to get their own jobs, in early 20th-century Germany, meant a downward social mobility, especially since they weren't able to take over his business, and in fact eventually had to invite renters into their home, and even perform for them. Without him, Gregor's family are neither middle class, nor respectable. So I feel that, while nowadays we might see Gregor's family as better people at the end of the story, I think they would have seen themselves as ruined. Fallen. Disgraced.
And they blame him for it, or at least that's how I've always remembered it, when I can bear to remember it at all. I felt their reactions showed that they thought the transformation was something Gregor had _chosen to do to himself,_ instead of as a tragic calamity. Whereas before they may have resented their own dependence on him, now they resent his refusal to maintain the status quo. Perhaps those of us who have revealed, to their family, that part of who they are is something their family rejects or abhors, might find this reaction familiar. Also note that in the 19th and 20th centuries, many artists from the middle classes either refused or escaped careers or educations in highly respectable or lucrative professions, in order to create... to the consternation of their parents. Perhaps not quite as life-changing to our eyes, but perhaps it was, to them.
It also occurs to me that this is how we see homeless people in North America, especially city governments. We constantly try to compartmentalize and distance ourselves from the fact that homeless people are still human beings, and that most of them have some form of disability, and lack the advantages we ourselves may have... like, perhaps, a dutiful Gregor Samsa in the family. We blame them for being unfortunate or exploited or abandoned, and tell ourselves stories about how they've brought about their own tragic metamorphoses.
What to do when you're already the beetle but the person you rely on to help you is becoming one too. I'm currently experiencing this with my mother. She's always helped me with the things I can do on my own. But as she ages and becomes more forgetful, more like me I fear there's nothing I can do to help her. I can't return her kindness and care because I can barely take care of myself.
Beg and cry the government and others for help. It is not selfish if you will not be safe without it. Do not hold back.
I read The Metamorphosis as one of my choice books for a Summer Reading assignment. I remember being particularly confused, but also saddened at Gregor's fate. Looking back, this is probably the most interesting summary of the story I've seen.
As someone who was on life support due to severe illness I was all too familiar with the nastier aspects that came with the loss of independence, (needing help to go to the bathroom, not being able to move, developing pressure sores, being unable to eat solid food or drink) this really resonated with me. I often felt incredibly guilty, and honestly also felt worse than subhuman and that is all despite the fact that my parents and loved ones were so caring, and strong throughout this period in my life, they really went above and beyond for me, and yet I still felt that way. I can't imagine how bad it would be if I didn't have people like that.
luckily this was a temporary period in my life, I was able to get a heart transplant (a heart infection was the root of the issue) and go through physical therapy to become able bodied again.
I really think that as a society, we need to take care of disabled people. We need to provide them with all the necessities, so that families no longer need to work those extra hours, as well as free healthcare so that they can get professional assistance in taking care of their loved ones. Furthermore we need to find ways to include disabled people in broader society to end their isolation
Yes!!!! Caretaker families with caretaker's fatigue are not inherently evil for externalising the fact that they are in a way being forced to become somewhat disabled to keep a 'burden' alive. However harsh it sounds. Because the disabled person is only a 'burden' because of the negligence of care for disabled folks and their caretakers from governments and hospitals.
The Metamorphosis is the original "would you still love me if I was worm?"
Disabilities are inborn sometimes, too: imagine being BORN like this, with no life or achievements from "before" your disability to be proud of, or even remember. Imagine if the whole world treated you like this from the start.
I have Asperger's Syndrome: *I* understand this.
I'm also autistic. I have ADHD too as well as a visual disability. I'm currently feeling guilty about the fact that I will never be able to safely drive, so being an electrician is currently off the table. I had a family member who would shame me for my autism and ADHD since he didn't believe that they actually existed as well as a ton of bullying.
@@EliasKayama245 Well, I *can* drive . . . but you're not missing anything. 😖
in my case, we found out about AD/HD only in my mid-teens, after years of disapproval of my "daydreaming problem," which we all thought I was doing on purpose. I didn;'t even get Asperger's Syndrome proposed to me until age 32 (courtesy of my late mother), and wasn't diagnosed until 37.
So much time lost, and so much harm done....
@TheSaneHatter I'm just upset that it limits my job opportunities. I do wish you well though.
...I never thought of it like that. How depressing.
Doesn't help that my family has had to take care of elderly relatives. My paternal grandmother and grandfather had dementia and Alzheimer's, respectively.
That was not fun.
I have a question: If Gregor actually left, somehow found a better place for himself and even a family of his own, will his family still wanted him back?
As a part-time caregiver for a stroke, survived family friend, this is something I needed to hear. Thank you.
"That's so Kafkaesque"
My late wife had 3 strokes over the course of 8 years before being diagnosed with cancer. While the strokes did not affect her mobility, they injured her ability to comprehend and even basic life skills. I became engaged to the smartest woman I had ever met. By the last couple of years she was half gone. Then there were the psychotic breaks, the rages, the time she had sudden amnesia, taking her back to the mid 1980's as a teenage rape survivor. Loved her still until the end, but there is no question that being her caregiver broke me. Took more than a year to get my depression back into a stable, medicated state. She died a few months after her 50th birthday. Her first stroke was at 42. Without my own family supporting me financially and emotionally, I probably wouldn't be here either.
I read the Metamorphosis in high school, like so many others in the comments. Haven't really thought about it much in the 27 years since then until I saw this video. Holy Mother of Ramen was this a gut punch. Thank you for making it. It was cathartic, as well as nice to finally learn the point of this weird piece of body horror literature I was made to read all thoe years ago.
It was also cathartic to be able to put this down somewjere and shput my story to the world. Thanks to anyone who made it this far down in the comments.
All other things aside, Toph's clapback every time the Gaang forgot she was blind was peak quality
I studied as a care nurse for people with dementia and this story really gave me a new insight when I first read it. it's so easy to dehumanize people who tend to dehumanize themselves but when you show even a little bit of care and humanity towards them, you can just see that they feel a bit more human again.
Can I just say the thumbnail is horrifying, the legs growing out is just creepy in a good way.
at about 15:00, I couldn't help but pause the video. it pointed out the shift, and it actually made me think about parents. parents provide for their children for so long, and there will come a day where they are unable to even provide for themself, and in a way, they may just have to hope their children will return the favor. of course, not saying kids are "parasites," but I thought it was still somewhat analagous so I figured I'd share.
There is a horror in it but this is deeply sad too! As someone who has a catheter in the stomach area and every time I look at it, it kind of grosses me out and I'm always worried about the tube getting snagged or dirty ...this video hits harder then it would have.
11:45 you're absolutely correct on this. We are one car accident, one wrong fall, one kitchen disaster, away from being disabled.
as a fan of Limbus Company I'm happy to finally have the story of our dear gregor ^^
project moon fan spotted ‼
Gregor game
Gregor game about bug man Gregor
Gregor
Gregor from limbus company
Gregnant
I myself am a caretaker for my mother, and this resonates with me in so many ways. I have cared for her for most of my life, and have felt the burdens for so long. but, I also cant leave her go. I know she needs help, and I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering. this is why I both understand and despise gregor's family. I appreciate you posting this video, gave me something to relate to.
my mother and i are the primary caregivers to my grandmother with alzheimer's disease and my uncle with catatonic schizophrenia.
for the last seven years, we don't really have a life anymore. i did manage to get into college, and only went on with it because mom pushed me forward, but i can't hang out with my classmates after class, or do extension projects before or after classes, because i have to be back home asap, and i feel extremely guilty for leaving my mom to care for everything alone.
it's been seven years since the last time my mom, my dad and i could all go out together, just the three of us; one of us always has to stay behind to care for my grandmother and uncle.
my mom feels the most of it, tho. she always has. she's the one that takes care of everybody, and always has been. i don't know how she hasn't broken down, she's the strongest person i know. she had to refuse job opportunities to go back to work with something she loves because of this, she can't go out with the few friends she has anymore, she can't just... go out by herself to do whatever she needs or wants to do, because she has to be home to care for them.
dad does what he can to help on the weekends, he works out of town on weekdays
my mom's younger brother lives in another city and has his own problems to deal with, but he still helps however he can.
but at the end of the day, it's just her and me, now mostly her because i go to school. but it's mostly just us, we take it all. and we have our own problems to deal with on top of all of that.
As someone who wants to work in special education, this video made me cry. Everyone “bug” or not deserves to be treated with the utmost kindness and respect.
As an only child, my mother and I were the primary caregivers of my father when he could no longer walk. We loved him so much and did everything we could to best care for him, but there were so many difficult, frustrating moments when we would ask ourselves: how long is this going to last?
I couldn't finish this story. It just hit close to home, and even if my father already passed away, it still hurts for me to think that there were moments I would wish "this would all be over".
I'm currently on disability due to fibromyalgia, and how I had to fight tooth and nail just to be allowed to have enough money to stay alive is terrifying to think about. It took me nearly 5 years. In that time, I have barely scraped by with basic survival, much like Mr. Samsa.
I also experience this story from the perspective of dread of the inevitable. Yes, I'm disabled now, but familial ALS runs in my family, and every day my hands get weaker, and my memory gets worse, and I think about my grandmother going on and on about how she was supposed to be dead already. I think about how, sooner than I think, I'm going to need someone to carry me to the bathroom. Everytime I lose control of my hand, and the trembling sends another dish shattering on the floor, I dread the day that I won't be able to clean it up.
Disability is a melancholic sort of experience.
This was so so painful to watch, my mother has been in coma for almost 3 years now and due to trauma my mind have almost wiped out most of my memories of mom..
Me and my family had been taking care of her at home and its so wild to think that she used to raise me, now lying in the bed in silence... i hate that i see her as just an object and i tried my best not to..
Seeing her makes me physically and mentally feel painful and ive tried to avoid her at times, its like i really want to move on and be happy with the family i have now.. I love you mom and im sorry.. please wake up soon..
I’m rereading The Metamorphosis for a college German Literature course right now. Two days ago, I had a thought that I’d love to see you cover this story someday, or even just talk about something related to Kafka. Now here we are! Your timing is impeccable, I am so happy
It's one of my favorite storued and I'm glad you made a video about it! Your narrative style is always so catchy and the visuals are mesmerizing ✨️
I am kind of facing this. My mom raised me to be dependent on her. But when her mother became dependent, she pushed me away. Finally tried to teach me to be productive because she couldn't mentally handle two people needing her support. When I still struggled, she let me move in with the first guy that expressed an interest in a long term relationship. He seemed to understand at first that I was a horrible combination of sheltered, autistic and depressed. I did what I could like dishes but suddenly I was told I was a drain. Suddenly I was made to feel like I had to try and function like a normal person. No work my way up there. I had to be able to do stuff like him. Told if I could hold a job, even if it was 99% just standing in one spot and talking to people, I wasn't disabled. That I was using it as an excuse. I was made to feel bad that I couldn't do what him and his friends felt I should be able to do.
I just got out of this situation so I'm still recovering mentally. It hurts to feel like a drain. I want to be independent. I crave it! But now I'm being told to sit back and focus on my health. I feel like a burden even with people that love and care for my wellbeing above all else. Point is...I can relate to this story on feeling like I'm just taking. That it's hurting people. No one should feel like this. It-feels-like-crap. I'm happy to improve myself but I wish a voice didn't scream at me that I can do more when I sit down.
As a disabled person myself I immediately thought of a disability metaphor when I read Metamorphosis. The ending made me so sad
This is a better discussion of the novella than the one I got in class!
I really connect with this story, especially with your intepretation of it.
For around 7 years i've had cronic back pain. I don't even have any memory of how it felt to have no pain, to have stamina or to not constantly get migranes from my back radiating pain and my muscles constantly being tense.
The upside to my personal story is, that I've been blessed with a caring family that loves me deeply. My mother and my father both have experience working in different medical fields and my sister is just an amazing person. I feel like a burden to them when I complain or when my mental state isn't good.
So I've vowed to take care of everyone who showed me care to, even when it burdens me.
Because they would have done the same thing.
Jus wanted to rant, hope you all have a great day! :)
You have no idea the perfect timing this video is for me right now. A couple weeks ago I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I'm exhausted I'm in pain. I have a kid and husband and a house with animals to care for and a part time job. And sometimes I wake up feeling I can barely walk 😭 this made me feel seen, like I'm not alone 😭😭 thank you
I actually have a story like this. My mother once fell on her knee during an obstacle course. Turns out, in that same knee, she started developing arhtosis. The fall speeded the process up, and a few years later, she needed to get surgery. After that, she had to stay at home for 2 months... and it was really sad. She would actively ask for people to not wash the dishes or other chores so that she didn't get the feeling that she was useless. Sometimes she even cried... Luckely she's better now.
This hurt to get through, to feel so seen from 100+ years ago. And the analysis helped finally get through it thank you for the words of kindness and thoughtfulness behind this video!
Ohh hey, can't wait for when I return to buy. Currently working three jobs to help keep my parents head above water financially. My only freetime for sleep is 8PM to midnight lol
Never heard of this story before and I’m absolutely glad that I have now.
The lesson seems like the golden rule “treat others how you want to be treated” I remember that being my kindergarten class.
Honestly I think it should be everywhere, even in the workplace.
As someone who has be “a little different” for a lot of their life, I get this story and the message. I’ve always had, shall we say, a comprehension problem. More of less a for of dyslexia. Strangely this has lead me being part of special programs when I was in school. When you’re one of “those kids” you often get treated differently because, well, you are a bit different. Sure you might not be some sort of bug creature, but you definitely stand out with your learning or social problems. Strangely enough you’d be surprised how this actually gives one a unique perspective on life. Sure it might seem irritating if your one of this “normal people” but those people don’t take a moment to think how it’s like for these outcasts. Not until one day they end up, for whatever reason, in the same spot
Acceptance is often the word, but it’s strange how often is actually happens. Sometimes almost natural to do the opposite. Even if you don’t mean to. So I whole heartedly agree that if taking a moment to understand can go a long way
congratulations, you just made an already extremely sad story became even sadder.
But truth be told, this, like many people here in the comment section, it reminds of some personal experiences. The case being that I was in both roles of the disabled and the caregiver. Maybe it wasn't as extreme as other, but this is the only perspective I can give:
Six years ago, before the pandemic, I suffered through a time of depression (including suicidal ideation). I think it wasn't a clinical case, although I'm not so sure, but more a circunstancial process in regards to stuff in my life. The thing is, I barely got out of bed, I didn't find meaning in my dreams and aspirations, and I loose all motivations for activities; I couldn't even get the luxury to cry about my situation because I felt that I didn't get the right to cry because it wasn't really an awful situation. And through all that I felt like a parasite sucking out resources, time and even happiness of my family. Thankfully, little by little, I went on, changed parts of my life that felt like initiator of my problems, and also found some help. I don't think I'm 100% recovered, but I can safely admit that I'm better than I was before.
And now, six years later, recently I filled the shoes of the caregiver when my dad was hospitalized for a week and then have to recover for a month in bed due to an illness of his age and some bad health choices that are common. My father, is a little like Gregorio, someone who put a lot of himself in his work almost to cover his entire identity, solely to provide for us. Thankfully, me and my siblings are of working age and, although we don't get much money as him, we try to aliviate the financial weight he put on his shoulders. But, when he became ill, one of the core activities he does, his work, was canceled; and even his most precious hobby couldn't be done. This, of course, put him in a unhappy mood, although not like crying or getting angry, but a little of what I felt during my worst years: desinterest, lack of motivation and even not seeing an end to the unhappinnes or suffering. The only activity he did was to watch TV, and he wasn't even that emotionally invested in the content; he just watched the news of what was going in the world which sour the mood for everyone in the house (even I see a lot political things, but even for me this was too much).
All of us tried to motivate him to take new activities, like read a book, or play all together a board game; but he refused every time, saying that he's not one of doing those things and that he's content with just watching TV, but we all could see he wasn't. Then, I say to him one thing that I regret: you need to put some effort if you want to enjoy things... or something like that. I don't know if I say that because of frustration or because I thought that I was helping. Many times I heard that kind of phrase when I was in my most depressed moments, even from the professional help that I could find where I live. The thing is, I always hated that, because it feels like the person didn't acknowledge that it was bloody difficult to do that and it wasn't like I didn't try to find some joy in life, but I felt like I was battling my mind to just stay in this world... and now I just say that same thing to my dad.
The thing is, I don't even know if what I said helped or damaged him. Maybe it was actually useful because saying that works, or maybe it could work with his case only. Or maybe it actually didn't help at all and I just hurt a loved one. I'm not even a mental health professional to know what was the result of that action, and after my experiences I kind of distrust some of them (also, the country where I live doesn't use many resources in these problems). So that decision will kind of hunt me know.
Sorry for the long comment, but I just wanted to say that I can see and relate in some extent to Gregorio and to his family, although the last ones I still borderline hate them.
Franz Kafka lets go
I both love the idea that he has physical disability, but I do think it could be a form of depression. Since he could have it chronic I do believe it’s okay for it to be considered too, or if not the cause for the metaphor of him becoming bug, he went through it afterwards.I do have such bad mental states I can’t barely go out of bed, and I feel useless, guilt over my own body, much more so than if I was physically disabled, because I would have a proof and a reason, like this all you can argue is if it’s laziness or actually really bad mental state.
Also Kafka was well known to be pessimistic and often times depressed throughout life and as such is seen in his letters. That’s what distinguishes him is that just unforgettable, sad way of thinking.
"Our next video will be coming out in a week, so I'll see you then! Unless, of course, you..." I thought you were gonna say unless I turn into a beetle thing!
That opening about waking up and not moving described a stroke patient so well
I took care of senior and disabled people for twenty years. I still provide footcare for disabled people in their home and will as long as I am capable of doing so. And now that I am in my mid fifties I am experiencing disability for myself. Gotta say, it ain't fun. This was a wonderful examination of Metamorphosis. I always thought Gregor's real problem was Major Depression. Which is a disability also. A poorly understood one even to this day much less in 1930's Germany. I believe we should all be trying to make the world a better place and we can start by being more kind to one another. We don't have to understand one another we just have to be kind and at least not be cruel. There is too much acceptance of cruelty and inhumanity in this world. We should not tolerate it.
i recently had gotten over brain cancer. i won’t go into details but i had quite a large tumor (37mms) and after i woke up i felt just wrong.
All of a sudden losing one of your hearing and balance nerves and unable to do anything on your own..
this is why i love metamorphsis. this is why i love gregor. this is why i CHOSE to name myself after him…
I had always passed by Kafka, never really needed to read it for external purposes, and had enough references and homages in media to have picked up the overall shape of the thing. I had no clue about the real content of the novel.
By the end of this video, with my spinal cord ruined by injury, I was weeping openly. This take is beautiful, and well done. Thank you.
PLEASE read some kafka! references and homages are simply not enough (well clearly they are, but you know what i mean lol)
i am such a huge fan of his work. the metamorphosis is only like, forty pages, you can theoretically get through it in a day (as you can tell from the video though it's ultra depressing, so i usually take a few days to reread it each time)
his short stories are only a few pages and they'll hit you with the same amount of emotion. 'the trial' is an extremely painful read (not because it's poorly written or horrific, but it highlights the mundane evil of beaureaucry so well) and it's still one of my favorite books. i'm so sorry you're dealing with disability, and i hope kafka's writings bring you the comfort they've brought me (i know that sounds weird but something about his short stories makes me feel... comforted. not like everything will be ok, but like i'm not alone.)
I always loved The Metamorphosis but because I read it in school they never actually helped us deep dive into why. As a kid with serious epilepsy (I am grateful to be seizures free now at 27 thanks to a cocktail of meds and a vns), I felt like a serious burden to my family and couldn’t do the same things other kids could do, not to mention I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer and that sport was off the table. Finally understanding why I related to this story makes me sad and happy at the same time.
The disability interpretation ever since I first heard it, from Shanspeare, so it made me so so happy to see it covered more in depth here.
I don't have any disabilities As debilitating as others, but the big about no longer being able to chase dreams really rang true for me.
After getting COVID, I got Inducible laryngeal obstruction. When my vocal cords are stressed, whether it be from laughing too hard or anxiety or crying, they close a bit, sometimes more than others, sometimes almost completely. This doesn't affect speaking as much as it does breathing. It affects breathing a Lot.
This, of course, impacted my love of singing. I want to be a choir teacher, or maybe even do musicals, but when it's hard to breathe it's hard to sing. I eventually went to speech therapy when I finally got it diagnosed. Learned exercises to help. It's a lot better but still not perfect and it never will be.
A year after the first time, I got COVID again. And then Again IMMEDIATELY after. This time I got fibromyalgia. A month of what I thought was joint pain I was told would go away after a month or two actually did. A few months later it came back. Worse. More and more months of pain and not knowing why until I finally got a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. It's getting a bit more manageable but it won't ever really go away and will probably worsen with age. When there's a big storm, pain. When I get my period, pain. When I stand for long periods of time, pain.
This impacts my dreams again. How could I be a choir teacher if I can't stand for long. How could I dance in a musical if I can't stand for long. How could I act in a musical if crying makes my vocal cords close. I don't know. I'm really not sure.
Getting COVID three times also means brain fog, which also comes with fibromyalgia. It's fun laughing at when I mix up words or it takes me too long to get a joke, or when I struggle to do simple math, but deep down after whatever conversation, I just feel scared. It's terrifying.
It's terrifying losing so much of who I was and what I could do. Again, I'm not as disabled as many others so I don't want to act like my struggles are on par with that. I just. Miss being me.
Despite that, throughout all of this video, I was smiling. So happy to see my fears and experience and the experiences of others being shared and told to so many people. So thank you to everyone who worked on this video. I may show it to my mom, who has asthma, has immunodeficiency, and has foot problems, but I'd have to pick a good time since I think she'd cry. She knows the feeling of feeling like a burden that has to be helped by her kids when she gets a foot surgery and when other people have to drive her places during the times she can't drive herself.
Anyways, I'll stop typing now. Just kinda nice having a little spot and reason to talk about all this. Thank you guys.
I feel so seen. I mean, I know how my previous comment is unrelated to your video as preparation would have started so long ago. But seeing metamorphosis on thumbnail I felt so seen. ☺