Retired Cop interview-Kevin
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Kevin Donaldson, a retired cop in New Jersey.
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Mark, thank you so much for having me. It’s a cleansing experience.
Thank you for sharing with us ❤
Great insight on PTS and synapse damage. Thank you for sharing your story as well.
It takes a lot of strength to tell your story. Thank you for sharing with us!
here ye
Thank you Kevin for sharing your story,it was so brave of you. Best of luck for the future!
My Mom always said she'd prefer a punch than the emotional abuse.
I retired in ‘97 after 30 years, three shootings & the loss of seven friends/colleagues. While I never fell into booze, or anything else, I do recall being an angry person, often for no reason, likely directed at those closest to me. Somehow I got through it and am fortunate to enjoy a close relationship w/my wife of 54 years, kids & grandkids. My principal identity now is simply Grandpa. Guess I was lucky, but at 77 I cherish every day on this earth. Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you.
Thank you for sharing the anger being taken out on those closest to us.
In my elevated stress moments in life I began to become aware of my anger and projection on to those close to me.
So much so that I removed myself from moments I felt the pressure building.
I would go off on my own because I hated being the angry man. Something was wrong. Relationships eventually dissolved.
You are truly blessed with a wife who stayed with you no matter what.
Living each day with gratitude now.
Your words found me tonight.
🙏
Old Cop, You had it much worse than I, there was very little help for the guys who came before me and mental health had such a stigma to it. Much respect brother.
@@TheFunkybert That gratitude is a beautiful thing
@@thesufferingpodcast My department sent me to a shrink after I was forced to shoot a hostage taker in a motel lobby (third & final shooting). The guy was such a joke (no LE background or prospective whatever) I got up and left after one visit. I’ve been retired 25 years & enjoy our grandkids now.
@@oldcop18 My hats off to you sir thank you so much for paving the way for us kids
How you turned out so compassionate and kindhearted is a true miracle. You have changed my perspective on so many things. It breaks my heart to think you believed that the world would be better off without you
I wasn’t always compassionate. When I was you I was very angry
As a black man who has had dealings with some rascist cops and some rascist white people in general, this guy really touched me. I don't look at him as a cop or a white person but as a human being that is full of emotion and compassion, I have nothing but respect and compassion for him. If we all just looked at each other as human beings our country and this world would be a better place. God bless you sir.
Brother, Ive seen good in bad in everywhere. I see you and I raise you one regardless of what you look like. If your a kind good person, Ill be super kind to you, if your not then... you get picture. Much love-Kevin
To DEHO 419: Yes indeed absolutely I agree with you totally. Your assessment is on point and spot on. Being a white person who grew up in Denver Colorado during the 60’s and 70’s in the midsts of a race war and that I attended a all black school I seen and experienced just how brutal some police persons were to black folks. I was the only white kid in my class and if it wasn’t for my black friends I would have been dead 💀 long ago. As a nation we have got to stop 🛑 this insane prejudice against all races and just act like human beings. Be blessed Amen.
Never encountered a racist person outside of cops and whites? Not one?
If everyone acted like human beings, maybe it would be possible
You sure they were being racist, or are you just an asshole?
I am a 25.5-year retired LAPD Detective that had an experience that affected me when I was a gang patrol officer. I too had nightmares and headaches every time I recalled the incident. Yes, talking about how it impacted me helped me get passed the anxiety I felt. Kudos to this officer for sharing his experience that undoubtedly will help anyone who is going though a rough time at this moment.
Thank you my friend. Stay safe
As a former wife to a former police officer who was injured on the job via a vehicle accident, I was absolutely moved to tears. Police, fire life and family carry an underlying stress. Your story is relatable to every spouse of those careers. Congratulations on finding your identity!
Thank you
What about the fact that they have tried to take over the country at the Capitol? Not all of them are good, in fact, they are worse. They won't get vaxx, conspiracy theories, anti-government, racist, and they shoot innocent. There is nothing normal about policing anymore. They're terrifying!
FORMER wife so you left him when he had the accident wow...
@@startingtech3900 You have zero right to make that assumption. I was married for over 20 years, was with him for 6 after his accident. My separation from my husband had NOTHING to do with that situation. But, you wouldn’t know that. You just make things up….
@@startingtech3900 You making that assumption lets me make the assumption that you're a jack ass.
I don't think I have ever been more impressed by a subject of an interview. First, a young man growing up with gangsters who becomes a cop to help people. He had his identity all along...a good, compassion strong man of integrity. He explained severe PTSD so well. I live it and am being treated for it because I was the one who found the most important person in my life who didn't get that moment of clarity at that crucial moment Kevin did. I am so happy Kevin's wife and children don't have to live this. The way Kevin lives and thinks is so filled with strength, intelligence and most importantly, kindness, and he should be so very proud of his identity.
Very kind of you and humbling
My Cousin & Ex Girlfriend did the Same, Thier Parents Were in gangs, But thier parents also taught them its better to be a Cop in these streets than a Thug
@@lilbench5834 much love and respect
My mom witnessed a woman commit suicide with a handgun in her and my dads church while the woman was facing her! My mom then sat by her side for almost 45 minutes waiting for EMT’s to arrive. The lady was still alive, but then died enroute to the hospital. She’s still affected by loud sounds. She never got therapy/help and it still affects her. Thank you for sharing Kevin’s experience with PTS.
It’s a strange injury. No one ever sees it coming and the smallest things bring you back
Having recently retired after 30 years on the job, I found Kevin's story about Mason inspiring. Perhaps, Mark, find Mason's mother and interview her. The irony here is visceral. Kevin saved her from a fate he would soon collide with, more than once. I took a life on July 3, 1994. I felt nothing. The therapist (protocol in California) told me that something would happen and trigger great sadness. The suspect (armed with a pistol) had been wearing a Walkman. Five months later, while driving home, I saw a kid wearing a walkman; I fell apart and cried. On my last day on the job, I went back to the scene (after 27 years) and said a prayer for the departed. Amen...
Thank You for sharing!
I can't even imagine!
Years ago, while living alone, a 17yr old (that looked 12) decided to knocked on my door at 1AM telling me my dog was out. The dog was in bed with me....
Long story short, he persisted long enough for me to brace myself, on one knee, with a cooked 40 waiting for him to break in so I could shoot him legally.
I backed him off but I shook from the adreline, fear, and thought of almost killing someone, a dang kid, for the next week! Note to mention afraid to sleep!!!
I hope to never EVER have to aim my weapon at a Human again!!!
That happened in a Middle class neighborhood in Nashville. It does not discriminate!
🖤💙🖤 thank you for your service Sir. My BF is in law enforcement, 27 years now. I’m very outspoken about supporting police. Everyone thinks about the criminal and nobody ever thinks about how a shooting affects the policeman. Thank you for sharing 😊 God bless you Sir!
Thank you for deciding to have a job that u risked your life to protect people. My sister's husband is a Sheriff and polygrapher for them for many many years now soon to retire and I know there are some decent good guy law enforcement thankfully out there. I'm sure by far it's not an easy career. Sadly I've run into a few that just make them look bad by just being smart ass dicks when surely they didn't have to be.. I'm sure many people don't realize though just truly how stressful being in law enforcement on streets can truly be. Probably quite a few have thought they were fine like and one day all of a sudden something triggered their memory and boom hopefully they realized they have PSTD and need good help truly and get it.
I dropped a dude back when I was on the force as well. I’d dream about it till this day and every-time wake up with 🥜 all in my boxers and a rager.
@@gailmgreenlee7039 You are right regarding the arrogance. No room for it. Karma. Be well Gail!
33:32 "We're not put on this Earth for personal gain, we're put on this Earth to help our fellow human being". The most moving, inspirational thing I've heard anyone say in YEARS. Thank you very much!
The more you give, the more you receive, I dont know how or why it works but it just works.
@@thesufferingpodcast Funny how it's always society telling you to give your life for THEIR greater good. But when the giver needs help, where the F is society? Crickets. No one's life is more valuable than another. If everyone swept their own doorstep, the whole world would be clean.
@@SlangScientist There are resources and people out there willing to help it’s just not in the places that it should be. Much respect
Very stoic. I love that.
…. every living being…. I would add.
This almost felt like a TEDtalk. He's so well spoken.
Very well spoken & inspiring and helpful, for now.
Yeah I'm just listening on autoplay and thought it was an Anthony Bourdain interview at first.
Like a 2070 paradigm shift
@@viktorhardindyrvold4234 I’m not sure what that is.
@@thesufferingpodcast look it up on yt. It's quite the goof ;)
Such a strong person to speak so openly about pain. We can all learn from a man who can verbalize trauma in such an honest way.
It took a long time to say it out loud
From the abuse,trauma,hopelessness,suicide attempts I feel it man. You deserve all of this help and you are worth it man.
Thank you so much.
I am also suffering from A.T.H.S
As a child of a police officer, I commend you. You took yourself out of self destructive ways for your wife & children . I only wish mine would've . Led to a damaged childhood, pts /anxiety , I ended up a teen heroin addict into my early 20's . I was slowly killing myself, punishing myself for a situation I had no control over . Thank God for my grandparents . Now over 12 years clean , bought my first home , I'm breaking this cycle one day at a time . Hopefully my other siblings will do the same .....
Thank you for your story 🙏🏼💖
It’s often the families that pay the biggest price. Much love
Congratulations on your 12 years!! That's not a small accomplishment by any means. I'm so happy for you and proud of you. (Coming from 24 yrs clean from meth. I get it.)
This is like looking into a mirror! After 40 years behind the badge I feel like Kevin just told my life’s story. I’ve watched this numerous times and I finally feel hopeful for a better life to come. I’ve been to the point of checking out but I too always found a reason to stay. Mark, thank you so much for this video and thank you Kevin for sharing your life struggles with us! Kevin is such a great man and I am proud to stand the thin blue line with him!
Much respect Brother. I'd throw that mirror away if you look like me, it may be broken lol
@@thesufferingpodcast Lol! You are a good man, and Lord knows this world could stand some good men right now! Thank you Brother!
I have to say out of all the interviews I’ve ever watched from you, this one touched me the most. Thank you for your work on this channel and KEVIN: Thank you for sharing your story!
By far.
Your comments bring me to tears, thank you
He speaks with incredible clarity and articulation. Such inner power and strong message! Impressive.
You are too kind
My wife and I were talking about ptsd, and I said in passing that police officers have ptsd too. And I stopped in my tracks and realized I had just identified what my problem was. Paranoia, there’s a bad guy just around every corner. Anxiety, loud noises can make me shake and break out in a sweat. And criminals make me angry enough to consider murder, even petty criminals. But, murder would, of course, make me one of them, and the worst of them. I retired early from law enforcement, and over twenty years ago. But, even at my age I realize it’s not to late to seek help. If, for no other reason than to share experiences, or help others with their issues. I was almost crying listening to you. Thank you for sharing your experiences and life with us, brother. I wish you the best that life has to offer. And thank you for your service.
Thank you Jim. What you have learned in your career may very well be the missing piece of somebody’s life
Kevin, you are an inspiration. It doesn’t even feel like “inspiration” captures the magnitude well enough. You’ve found a way to turn so much trauma and pain into good, and you’ve made it your purpose to spread that good into the world. Thank you for your service, in all of the many ways that you have served. You are making the world a better place. I’d like to donate to you - how can I do that?
I’ve watched a bunch of your videos and this was one of the best yet. This retired officer went through a lot and came through it with a sense of purpose. So many people don’t make it through tough times and it’s great to see that he helps people so they too can make it through the tough times. Thank for sharing this video.
🙏🏻
Wow! This really hit home for me, I've been in "the valley" for way too long, this gentleman gave me the hope I needed just for today🙏
I hope it carries you through until tomorrow for hope for the future. Much love - Kevin
You got this!! I promise you this world needs you! Your meant to be here. I hope you find your happiness
@@jakegolding1263 I do believe I am not done yet
Powerful interview with such an eloquent speaker. I can deeply emphasize having dealt with the PTSD for so long it seems as if I've co-existed with it for a lifetime. Thank you Kevin. It couldn't have been easy to go that deep and get so raw. No matter how many times you've shared your story. In your portrait: your eyes are, indeed, a window into your soul. So very beautiful ❤
I've been in tears all morning
@@thesufferingpodcast 💕🙏
@@thesufferingpodcast I'm sure.
God is Good.
@@Gabriellucero2 My Savior🙏
This is what military vets, inner city people, and ex convicts go through.
Tim: and domestic and sexual abuse folks.
I love the part where he describes being in the dark and not realizing others are walking beside you until a little light shines in. I have ptsd too and this description is so true.
I didn’t start seeing those walking alongside of me until I started to make it to the end of the tunnel
Wow, after being a cop for 20 years I can say I have gone through all of the ups and downs that Kevin has gone through. I came out of 20 years with post traumatic stress and it has taken me a year to almost find my primary identity. Great talk, great words. Everything this guy has gone through is fact, I have gone through a lot of it myself. I am touched to hear him speak. Thank you Kevin, you helped me heal.
It’s our obligation to help the younger guys and girls so that when they retire they don’t experience the same thing. Much respect brother
I listen to this once a month and I get something new out of it every time. I work in the recovery community and I have passed this on to so many people. It is life-changing
Oh when people say things like this it makes my heart smile.
This has to be one one of the best interviews on this channel. Great stuff!
Many suicidal people don’t want to die, they just don’t want to live another day in such horrible emotional pain.
Those old voices from childhood can take over during dark days. I’m sure Mason 💙and many others know the worlds a better place with you in it.
I still think about Mason and get choked up
Such an eloquent man. I’ve suffered from PTSD for 4 years and everything you said rings true. I could listen to you all day. Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings.
Your words are very kind Sophie. It does get easier to manage but the memory is always there
Thanks for telling your story. As a city cop for the last 10 years (so far), I had a similar situation in my 4th year on the job. All within one year, I had a 10 year old girl die on me from an asthma attack, Before she passed out and stopped breathing she looked over at me, I was the last person she ever saw. I saw a woman who was just hacked up into pieces by her neighbor... horrific sight. My patrol car was shot at during a group fight, and someone who I knew committed suicide (a Sergeant) . Just like you, out of nowhere I ended up getting panic attacks randomly, and I developed social anxiety, I didn't want to go anywhere or be around anyone. I verbally lashed out at my wife from time-to-time, because I was upset that she didn't understand, which was no fault of hers whatsoever. A lot people don't realize the effects of PTS, especially those who have never been on the job. I'm glad to be over that rough patch and I'm glad you made it through!
Always know there are others who understand what your going through.
Thanks for the sharing your story. Pain and suffering carried the message of hope and reminded me to try harder today to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Absolutely one of the best interviews I've ever seen. I myself and my daughter suffer from depression and anxiety. The words you spoke are very inspiring. Thank you.
I suffer with PTSD.. although from different circumstances.. Kevin! You're an amazing human and your testimonial though sad, was a great comfort.. So thank you. The world is for sure a better place with sound people like yourself in it... 👏👏
❤️
This is one of the best educational conversations on PTS I have ever seen.
Kevin your story hit home. I'm 54 and grew up in that same "Bad News Bears" era in the 70s when the popular way to parent was tough love, and when you got out of line at the park playing football with no pads, you might take a beating from an older kid, and that was acceptable. My parents split when I was 11 almost 12, and I had to be the man, with a weak mom, and a younger sister, and my businessman dad who I saw all of 2 days every other week was always hard on me mentally always kicking me down (so I didn't get a big head), which is almost comical. He was actually great when the chips were down, but would always be more than ready to shut you down if you showed too much joy or confidence. I think it's maybe just the traits they were taught by their depression era parents, and I get that, though I didn't like it at the time. Life is weird and now raising kid's has done a 180, and it's too much the other way IMO.
Lol, there has to be some sort of happy medium right?
Great interview. Unfortunately I grew up in the same type of household. A living hell for my brother and I. Thanks for interviewing this guy.
Thank for taking your time to hear me
My dad is a Vietnam vet… and I have seen ptsd at it’s worse! It is absolutely heart wrenching to watch someone you love go thru this- and not be able to help
He still to this day goes to groups - weekly! It’s is important to talk to others who can relate!!!
they made those privates do some MESSED up things so sad
As a retired veteran I can totally relate. For a long time after I got out, I used to think that no one understood what I had gone through. My group therapy is with guys I served and going to my unit's reunions. Even though they tend to be a little repetitive, the ceremony of remembrance to fallen comrades always gets to me. As you say, if you embrace it, you conquer it and use it to heal.
You make family ties with those you’ve shed blood and tears with. Thank you for the kind words my friend
You know it’s an amazing interview when Mark doesn’t say a word. When he just lets people talk and share their story without any interruptions or questions. Great video!
It was a little tough to just sit and talk without being led. Thanks for the kind words
@@thesufferingpodcast ahhh man you did great! It’s awesome to see how people overcome their struggles. The human mind is unbelievable. Not everyone can overcome being at their lowest. And you did. That’s amazing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@frankieterrazas6473 I still have a long way to go but I work hard every day
This guy and the retired mafia boss were the two most touching, humbling, and inspiring stories I have heard.
I am retired policeman also. Thank you sir for your service and your testimony. God bless you. Thanks for sharing
🙏🏻
I appreciate this guy’s honest interview. He is so well spoken vis-a-vis life lessons. I loved this interview! Thanks Kevin!
Your comment is very humbling, thank you
Been watching this channel for years and this interview is profound for me. Don’t know what it is. Thank you both 💕
Much love much respect
I was incredibly emotionally abused by everyone around me growing up. Looking back, I think that “everyone “ is extreme. The adults I trusted did, which made me become hypersensitive to others and I grew up paranoid that every nice thing I was told was only an effort to manipulate and mock me. I got into crime and drugs because love didn’t have any place in my life.
Then I had my son. I saw my soul reflected and contrasted by his innocence, and everything changed in that moment. A true spiritual awakening I had.
I resolved to be the kid who I abandoned years ago because I realized that as much mockery as he sustained, the reason for the mocking was that young people can’t understand difference, and they tried to assimilate me by way of bullying.
Unfortunately, my ex wife is still eager to hang the “junkie” name around my neck, because if I’m clean, she isn’t automatically better than I. When I become good, it reflects and contrasts her hatred for me.
I could keep typing. But I’ll save it for a video.
This was an incredible interview. Such an intelligent man. I wish him all the best in his recovery
I’ve watched A LOT of Mark’s videos. I have to say, this is my favorite of all. I connected with everything he said. It was profound. Thank you.
There is more that connects us than breaks us apart
My glass is currently spilling over. Needed this, thanks ❤
The damage from working in law enforcement is real and it is life changing. I am coming up on 16 years, the last 6 years of which I have worked as a crime scene investigator detective. I am not the person that I was when I started this career. Meds help, therapy helps, but nothing changes the fact that I am not what I was and never will be again. I know a lot of people struggle with the police, rightfully so, but try not to forget that the women and men of this career are human, and many of us are broken from this job.
The job takes a piece of your soul
Damn dude this hits so hard for me. Thank you for sharing
Thank you
Wow this drummed up some memories and feelings I thought I dealt with accordingly....
@@daxc1972 I’m sorry I did that to you.
@@thesufferingpodcast Was not you, it was the 25+ years chasing that police pension. Thank God I was able to get out alive.
@@daxc1972 bless you brother
This was such a powerful story. In looking at some of the comments it is very clear there are many of us who can relate to the impacts of pts. Your story certainly did give others hope Kevin and it’s always important for all of us to have exactly that. Hope. Thank you to all of the speakers on this channel and for sharing their stories. Now we just need to see police services develop a greater understanding of brain injuries related to trauma.
It's funny you say that because the concussion legacy foundation just opened up brain donations to study this
Scars heal, emotional abuse lingers in your 🧠,sometimes for a lifetime. Thanks for sharing such a touching story.
Thank you for taking the time to hear what I had to say
Right on Kevin! I 100% agree with you that the #1 reason we are here is to help each other. That can look different than what you expect. Sometimes a few kind words will do the trick! I've been on a long road of needing and giving help and so it will continue. Nice road you've taken.
It was a very winding road. Much love
I've spent the day binging your channel; previously having watched a couple videos here or there but never a lot of them. My daughter intro'd me to your channel years ago but the introspection and awareness you deliver & speak of thru so many sources is such a valuable service. I feel so sad for Caroline I could cry. Watching the transformation is so sad; you just wish you could help so many people. But maybe if we can just help ourselves to heal our trauma & see how we really aren't "damaged"...maybe the world will be better so i guess that's all we can truly focus on. Besides; of course; realizing the value of listening & understanding other people's experiences & how we have all gone thru so many similar experiences but dealt with them so differently. The Hutch vid & f/u episode along with the guy who talked about him also i think he name was Josh Doherty idk ... anyway speaking of how we can all grow up in the same household & have same life but perceive things so differently. How perception is reality & there is no right or wrong. I hate to admit I spent almost an entire day watching videos but it's been enlightening. PS just because people don't click like on your videos you still have over 5 mil subscribers & hundreds of thousands of views on them; maybe they just don't watch daily but probably do binge (RE Klips interview with you that i watched which was also such an insight into you & what you are working on accomplishing...which you are doing so beautifully). I love that you show all walks of life; the good the bad and the ugly because when you boil it down we can see how many of us have been so damaged by our experiences & as you stated if we can just make that change for the future generations to be aware & protect .... even if we can break the cycle for one family at a time;; spread more love; joy & patience & understanding; just maybe we can save society. Make us all realize we all have more commonalities than differences & again; as you stated; how powerful forgiveness & awareness is. I commend you & all your guests for being so brave to put it all out there for the greater good. Great job.
That guy is a hero in and out the uniform. Thanks Kevin that was very inspiring.
Hero is not the right word in any way to describe me. But thank you for thinking of me that way
COSTS - So many people have sustained invisible injuries, and they have not been treated. This outstanding candid interview no doubt can benefit so many individuals, and their families I believe.
Thank you Douglas.
There needs to be a movie about this man! Love his storytelling and attention to detail.
I appreciate the kind words but I have a face made for radio
@@thesufferingpodcast or podcast!
This is the most important TH-cam channel I’ve heard of. Thank you mark and thanks to everyone who’s life story I get to learn about❤️
Mark is doing amazing work
This was a very excellent one. Thanks so much.
Such a great story of living! Thanks for sharing, really grounded me and reminded me to be grateful, thank you for that
This is the best interview I've seen on this channel hands down. Now I wanna meet Kevin in real life just to talk to him. He's such a G
Thank you for the kind words. I’m here
I’ve been a cop for 6 years as I write this. This talk resonates deeper than I can put into words.
Here’s the advice I give new cops and I’ll leave it here for any prospective cops: Any cop who faults you for seeking help for mental health belongs to a group of cops that kill themselves at a greater rate than are killed by bad guys.
I made a promise to my wife and kids that I will be there for them. God may pull me away at some point, but as long as he let’s me be here, I will be HERE for them, physically and mentally. I don’t exactly know what that will look like or how I will get there. But my ego and pride will not stand in the way of that. I’ve been seeing a counselor that specializes in LE for a bit now. It’s really helped. I encourage new cops to start early. Like keeping your car maintained instead of waiting until it breaks. If someone gives you shit for it, say a prayer for their family. They will need it.
Never be afraid to get help, seek help, or ask for help. The worst thing a girl can do is bottle up their feelings. It was rear its head One day. Much love much respect
@@thesufferingpodcast That has been myself "afraid" to get help. More than afraid "mocking" such help. I am "man enough, I don't need help, help is for the weak ones... Little did I know.
@@aragureghian724 Certain things bring us to our knees
I never imagined this but thank you Kevin. I’m still trying to survive officer involved domestic violence PTSD. was used against me and today as I was sitting here crying for my children they helped take away you of all people ( no offense). Described in words what I can’t. To speak openly about this I wished my ex would. But there’s always hope. THANK YOU 🙏🏽
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s hard for anybody to explain who has an experienced it, but often times you don’t even know the damage that your family is incurring. That is not an excuse for bad behavior just merely an explanation. You are a survivor and reach out anytime.
You´re an amazing man. Thank you for your honesty, sincerity and inspiration. It was a pleasure listening to you and learning from you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
@@thesufferingpodcastincredible truly helps
You found your calling! You are an unsung hero, brave and kind! Thanks for sharing!!!
Im definatly not a hero, I just am no longer afraid.
Mark, even though this was difficult to see, I thank you. It is refreshing to see an uplifting story. God bless this man.
I needed this to be where I am today
What a great interview. There is way too many police officers who feel just like this. I hope this interview sheds a new light on the impact officers deal with.
Far too many police are in this same situation
This one is amazing.
Thank you Caroline
You can tell this guy really cares about his kids and did his best to raise them while dealing with his own issues.
My kids are everything to me
I always look forward to seeing your interviews mark 🥹
Kevin…. Thank you. I’ve been dealing with things like this for about 15 years. I’m currently 25 just turned 25 last month. I’ve wanted to give up so many times. Hell I’m a teacher and go in front of kids everyday and I can honestly say man God has helped me so much through my journey. Thought about offing myself plenty of times and got close to it about 2 and a half years ago around this time of the year. Next month I’ll be asking my girlfriend to be my wife. A lot of my trauma has come from positions I’ve been put in along with my own choices and just life in general. I’ve chosen to keep pushing forward and hopefully one day I’ll have stories to tell my kiddos. Your story lets me know I’m not alone, I’m not in this one deep. I smile a lot more and I think life is all about growing. Thanks again man God bless.
Giving up rarely solves anything and leaves others around us with the pain of loss. I’m glad you stayed. Congratulations on your upcoming proposal
Find colorful/explosive happiness (I took care of a husky once by request of a woman) and it took all of my stress away.
I never thought I would be able to relate to a cop after all the hé history of America and the most recent events… but This human resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your story. a story that so many of us share.
Thank you for not judging us all by our lowest common denominator
Wow, so raw. Thanks, my best friend committed suicide and left his family behind. Now I kind of understand his mindset. Thank you Kevin.
It’s a dark place that I hope no one else understands but I know some will
Wow!! I think I needed to hear this and didn’t even know it 😳
I sincerely thank you
Tremendous courage to share and be so open just tremendous. I’m sorry you had to go to those dark places and struggle the way you did. You help folks and something you should feel good about. Peace
That’s how I cope. 🙏🏻
amazing journey. ive been though suicide attempt myself, and years of substance abuse. helping others once again is the only thing that helps me. keep on keeping on dude.
Thank you Doug. Can’t be unhappy when your helping someone
The best thing that I heard him say in this interview is that post-traumatic stress is not a disorder like everyone likes to call it nowadays.
You are not born with post-traumatic stress, it is brought on by actions in your life and it is not a disorder, it is something that is wired the wrong way in your brain after a traumatic event
Let's try to change this stigma
"Something that is wired the wrong way in your brain after a traumatic event."
You mean a disorder?
@@thesufferingpodcast so you agree about what you said that it's not a disorder? Or did I hear you wrong?
@@wkcave my mind is Never made up in concrete. If I hear a better argument for the term disorder I am always willing to listen
Beautiful interview 👌
Thanks for sharing. I am so glad you are alive and well
This is by far one of the most inspiring, uplifting and motivating personal story I have ever heard. I am better off by having heard it. Thank you for sharing it, Kevin.
I really appreciate that
@@thesufferingpodcast You are most welcome. You actually gave me food for thought. I spent a lot of time thinking about what you learned and how I could apply it to my life. I practice something called "intellectual humility". That's just a fancy name for saying that every person I meet, talk to or hear talk, will teach me something I don't already know. It goes hand-in-hand with also being curious.
@@Chicharrera. You learn things from even the bad people you meet. I agree with you 100% and I’m very thankful for your words
I feel like for me, my cup filled pretty quickly, everything from having an alcoholic mom to all of my mistakes over my teens, twenties, maybe into my early 30s. It’s like a slow but steady train to ptsd. Some happened to me, maybe more I brought on myself. Then in my 30s I had a very demanding, nonstop job that overflowed my glass. Here I was at 39 just sobbing in my wife’s arms, then in the doctor office. Uncontrollably. That rock bottom and SSRIs gave me the courage to switch companies. That helped a lot. I then realized my core purpose is my kids and wife. Nothing before getting married is relevant. I have to remind myself of that daily. I have a long road ahead to feel free and light but I’m trying. It’s not always a gun shot or bomb blast, sometimes is just life layering on too much insecurity/trauma/stress. This was a great testimony and I wish this man all the best.
A bomb blast as a grown fully formed man may be easier to handle then an alcoholic mom. Your parents are supposed to love, nurture, and protect you. The mind of a child can never comprehend your mothers actions. Like the interviewee says. He was constantly trying to better himself to make his father like him. A child understands how a parent should be, when the parent is not that way the child believes they are the problem. The parent does not love them because they are not good enough.
I had bombs blow up around me. It was easier to deal with then the childhood trauma. The assholes trying to bomb me were assholes. They didn’t know me and still wanted to kill me or any other American. Their actions and attitude came from despair. I can understand that and comprehend they are consumed with hate and anger and despair. I understood this at the time. I still got PTSD from it but it was easier to shake then the childhood trauma. WTF was my parent’s problem? Life should have been good. We had food, shelter, and some luxury. All the trauma was generated solely by themout of thin air. Children see the beauty and joy that is life. You can go to dirt poor villages and the children play and smile. They cannot understand the anger. The cynicism toward life is incomprehensible to them. Weird thing is generational trauma. People who grow up and can’t deal because of their childhood and then pass it on. It’s almost a form of insanity.
Trauma is not a contest. Maybe your cup is a shot glass and the next guy is driving around in a truck with a thousand gallon tank. Who cares? It’s your life. Your struggles. Never feel lesser. But maybe you are the guy with the thousand gallon tank and you just don’t realize it. 33:51
Keep your world small and celebrate any victories big or small
absolutely amazing story, mason & his momma 💜
This is one of the most heartfelt interviews I’ve ever heard.
Much love
man this is my 3rd comment on this video but W O W, this man is seriously inspiring.. had me shed a gangsta tear :')
Thank you my friend
Totally with you there.. !
“If I become this everything at home will be ok”
Im a cop, went to the academy at 20, and I have such a connection to this gentleman’s abusive home environment. I’m getting ready for law school now, trying to learn who I truly am, and not who or what I’m running away from.
It’s a hard conversation to have with yourself in the mirror.
PTS I dealt with this for many years after I got home from Iraq. Even still more than 15 years later those dreams and night sweats will still creep in sometimes. Everything this man said, I feel to my bones.
I would venture to say you had it much worse than I did, it never goes away you just learn to manage it better
Bless both of you. Wonderful interview!!
Thank you
Really moving. Unfortunate that Kevin is no longer a cop, we need cops that think like him, but I am certain the world is a better place because of the new path he has chosen. Great story.
There are so many cops like it way better than I. They are out there
Great episode Mark, you’re doing gods work
I couldn't agree more
Incredible interview
Thank you my friend
@@thesufferingpodcast you’re very welcome! Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story. PTS is real, hearing you break it down the way you did was intense but I’m sure we’re all glad you’re persevering through it! God bless you Kevin. Wishing you much success and happiness.
@@savdidit reach out any time
Fantastic interview covering so many topics in the human life challenge and it's many lessons. Very wise and very touching life story.
Thank you
Yep, the experience of PTSD is a living nightmare.
Completely changes your personality. Im glad hes talking about it and im glad he got some help and found his purpose through the suffering.
Bend my knee to you buddy.
Much love
Bless you, Kevin. I am a survivorl of attempted murder/sexual assault. I get it. THANK YOU for sharing this!
It takes an enormous amount of strength to come back from that. I truly hope that others are benefiting from your strength
Hope you are okay!
@@KimbradleyMasterGardener every day is a struggle but it’s a battle I’m willing to fight. I will now wear my pain as a badge of honor and showed off proudly. I realize that I had to go through those things, I was meant to go through those things. So while it is difficult I’m right where I need to be
Police work is one of the hardest out there . This guy is a great person Glad he was a police officer.
I just wish my career with lasted a little bit longer
God bless this guy, I needed to hear this!
I am so sorry you went through all this
I’m grateful. It’s given me a new perspective on life
Great interview. Thank you for sharing this video with us. 👍🇨🇦😊
❤
What an amazing video. Thank you for sharing your story. It certainly hits home to anyone one way or the other. God bless all you do.
Bless you my friend. Thank you for the kind words
Your story hits home hard.literally. i moved from north to south jersey after becoming an addict thinking I'd find myself an purpose.WRONG.
Keep looking my friend. Never stop.
DUDE
That was so heavy! And so brilliant….so astute, so…..
Thank you for sharing this
And thank you for watching
Thanks mark 👍. Your interview went a long way and your story is amazing. ❤
Thank you