I'm Dating a German (Real Talk)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ต.ค. 2019
- I had no idea what I was getting into when I started dating a German, and 2 and half year laters, I still consider it to be an adventure!
Hi! I'm Kelly and I am an American who lived in Germany for 18 wonderful months. While I lived abroad before in Turkey and had done quite a bit of traveling beforehand, those 18 months in Germany definitely broadened my perspective of Germany, Europe, and even the US in so many different ways! I wanted to share my perceptions with you guys through TH-cam so that maybe you can gain context to things you've heard about, or learn new information or a different perspective, or maybe this is everything you've heard before and further confirms your world view. No matter what the reason, I hope that you enjoy my videos! Don't forget to subscribe to my channel and turn on notifications so that you always know when I'm posting new content :)
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#relationships #multinationalrelationships #dating
It's extremely useful to not understand one's mother-in-law, I find. It saves a lot of arguments and stress.
Lol
Agree! I am German and my in-laws are Slovaks. No chance for me. Makes it relaxed as I do not need to argue with them :)
About the last part, most people who don't speak or understand German mostly know it from war movies or evil characters in action movies.
And it isn't a secret that the language and how it is spoken/screamed in any army isn't the most poetic way to discover another language.
But one thing is for sure Germans have a good sense of humor, and I say that as a Dutchman.
No, not really, man.
Hello!!!
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Wie viele Deutsche braucht man, um eine Glühbirne zu wechseln? - Einen. Wir sind effizient und haben keinen Humor.
@@tallanvor Ich verstehe nicht warum Ihr so Negativ seit über Deutschen Humor.
Schau dich diese Burschen an; th-cam.com/channels/Lkw6Pa6ybNi5uM_pM0S5ag.html
Oder den Werner, ist das kein Humor? th-cam.com/users/results?search_query=werner+beinhart
Vielleicht Loriot ; th-cam.com/users/results?search_query=loriot
@@alterstassfurter5743 You don't need to swim in the pond to understand that a fish can't fly like a bird. I do speak German (nach 20 Jahre hier ...) and still have trouble understanding some things. In other words, the video is about cultural differences and that they cause misunderstandings, not about understanding cultural differences.
@5:06 “Misha could be telling them all sorts of things about me, like how wonderful I am, and I don't have the chance to show them how wrong he is.” I literally laughed out loud at that one, she delivered it so deadpan.
wixom01 I’m glad you liked my joke :)
@@Kellydoesherthing
r/suicidebywords
I laughed at that, that was a good one XD
This sent me
over all we germans are way way to serious and efficiency is our main goal, what makes us forget to take the life easy and just be alive without calculaiting if the next step is efficiency or not.
Kelly, you are, of course, the very opposite of stupid stereotypes about stupid Americans. I appreciate very much you sharing this with us, and I watched the whole video with a grin on my face. Needless to say (but I keep saying it), it is amazing how perceptive you are.
You two are adorable!
Aw thank you so much!! I’m happy to hear you think what I have to say is interesting :) thanks for the support!
I am German and have witnessed the lecturing and smart-assery of my German fellows quite often when they talk to foreign people (and also to Germans). I always cover my face in shame. I really can understand this grinds your gears!
Glad you're back Kelly! Missed you. More content please :P
Mistakes happen - "so etwas darf nicht passieren, aber es kann passieren" - "this mustn't happen, but it can happen".
Customer service has changed a lot during the last couple of decades - most shops and restaurants don't have full-time employees anymore, but only temp workers at minimum wage without any perspective.
I agree, I used to live in Germany 10 years ago and we would complain about the rude customer service in Slovakia (I was born there), and how it was so much nicer in Germany. Now, after moving back here form the UK (a whole other can of worms of politeness haha) the tables have turned and German customer service is indeed a lot more unrefined.
Part time to keep under the tax limit?
@@robertmcgee7083 Yep, and the customers have to put up with it. On the other hand such part time jobs can be a gateway into a career or a way back after an otherwise debilitating illness.
I'm in a 10 year relationship with a Dutch guy, and I am so encouraged by you sharing this video, as I have experienced so MANY of the things you talked about!! It's been very encouraging to know I'm not alone in this! Keep these videos coming!!!
You are definitely not alone!! I’m happy you found my video and to hear that it encouraged you :) thank you for watching and best of luck!!
Great stuff, right now after watching I think it's at least in my top 3 of your videos. You're really telling a lot about yourself here.
J͓̽a͓̽k͓̽o͓̽b͓̽ Aw thank you!!!
I originally found you with you video about how much you made on TH-cam, but then I decided to check out your channel
This so hits home for me.
My wife is German and we have gone back and forth a few times.
The challenges are real, but if you guys are strong it'll be ok.
Keep posting because you got a follower in me
I love the honesty you brought to this conversation! Really refreshing!
Just wonderful to see you --- as a German I lived in the US for 6 years, of course I had relationships but without the VISA issues. I know all of this and I enjoy how you take things.
My worst cultural problem was that German and American culture are still too similar that you forget way too often that they are not. Actually I think being different gives everyone an additional reason to give the other the benefit of the doubt and talk about it. Cultivate that, it is an opportunity!
love the REAL TALK!! I left my like and subscribed! Great Content !!
Kelly, any chance we might see a video with Mischa on his view about the culture shocks while beeing in the US? Would be interesting to see as German. :)
Chris M I wish! Who knows, maybe one day :) misha is very camera shy
@@Kellydoesherthing Sag ihm einfach, dass er sich nicht so anstellen soll. Was soll das? Er muss Deutschland repräsentieren! ;-)
@@Kellydoesherthing Hidden camera is the solution. And Mischa can watch the video only if it is too late to react. He becomes a superstar without knowing it
@@NatasDuVall Yop der soll sich nicht so anstellen . Das habe ich auch gesagt. Wir sollen eine Unterschrift Liste machen. Und wenn mehr als 100 Unterschrifte Zustandekommen dann muss er vor der Kamera
Great stuff! You're so observant and have so many great, and humour filled angles!!
edenviews aw thanks!
Besides TH-cam I have a feeling you do a lot of presentations by the way you communicate. Truly enjoy it .
I can relate to much of what you say here Kelly. My German husband and I have been together for almost 34 years and married for 30 plus. We had a lot of the same issues. I do really believe though that couples who are in intercultural, international, interracial relationships, may actually have an advantage to those who are not. Couples from the same backgrounds may take each other for granted and not really put effort into understanding where the other is coming from. My husband and I have had to put a lot of time and effort into certain aspects of our relationship over the years (don't even get me started on Christmas!) but it has been worth it! I would suggest that you do what you can to speak enough German to be able to communicate with Misha's parents though. That was tough for me as well, but it has really made a difference. Best of luck and thanks for sharing.
@Frank Burjan Hi Frank. My German is "abominably fluent." I can understand a lot and communicate to a degree. I really need to work more on my conversation skills. I could probably live there. I would need classes but usually, between my German and everyone else's English, I manage.
After living for eight years in Chicago (back in Germany since 2013), I can SO much relate to your content. It changes many of your personal views and perspectives on things in general. The same is with the relationship thing. Although the relationship ended, I’m grateful I had the opportunity to make this experience. Your videos are brilliant, Kelly. Two simple reasons: Very sympathetic personality and presentation. Highly self-reflected and pretty damn well informed content background. Really good job in general, Kelly. 😊 I wish you and Micha all the best ✊Many greets from Cologne - Hans
I have been living away from my native Germany for 30 years. I came to the conclusion that you feel much better generally speaking when you are looking for the things you like in another country or culture instead of looking for those things that are better in your own or stressing the differences. And the same goes for person to person relationships. Once you reach the point that you focus on the things you want to change in the other person you are headed for the end of that relationship. It might take a long time and it might be your nature to change things around, but people do not like to be nagged at or corrected or denied their natural behaviour.
You are so right - This absolutely a great perspective to have! And can be applied to so many things in life. Thanks for sharing :)
Sage advice, Edgar.
Völlig richtig ...wenn man anfängt zu vergleichen hat man schon verloren
Kelly, thank You for sharing Your experiences. Very insightfull.
dm Lindener you’re welcome :) thanks for watching!!
Dude, I’m dying laughing! I see in you a lot of me. Thanks for starting my day!
Davy Jones Aw! I’m happy you liked it :)
Hi kelly! I bet Micha gets probably mentioned something with David Hasselhoff :-) I know I always get some slack for it and yes he is still famous in Germans and goes on Tour :)
I was never in a relationship but it was always funny with my Irish Friends - but it was never a proper clash as I did get used to some things like going to a pub for tea and biscuits. But some irish customs I never got used to and was happy to be german at the time.
I also wonder, where Americans get the idea, that we shout - one weired thing but I will probably talk about once I get to the states ad do a standup :-)
So good to see you back on TH-cam - missing you a lot!
XX nico
I am dating a German woman. Many of your points I have encountered myself. Very well done video.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone :) thanks for watching!
Love listening to you Kelly
Great vlog!
Dorota Ross thank you!!
I live in Canada with my husband and I can relate to a lot of your points. It's fun to be in a multi cultural relationship tho and I wouldn't change that for anything. (Side note, Kelly you forgot your subscribe button on your end screen)
The perfect French with Dylane I agree with you completely! It’s totally worth it. And thanks! I totally forgot about that and def need to fix it haha
I'm Dutch, dated an American (Minnesotan) girl for a little over three years. Thing is, having been a gamer since a young age and internationally active online for the majority of my life? My English tends to be on par with if not better than native speakers.
And having spent a lot of time with both Brits and Americans I've picked up tendencies from both. So most of the time people will assume I'm a native speaker. On top of that my accent is negligible - and mostly comes out when I'm a little tired and I use Dutch grammer on an English sentence.
A lot of the time when I'd be talking to her friends, they wouldn't even realize I was foreign unless it was pointed out to them. And most people don't notice the grammar mistakes unless they pay attention to them (my ex did, because she started paying attention to them mostly because it frustrated her that I was often better at her own language than she was).
The one thing that most Americans did get stuck on was my directness. Which to put in contrast, while Germans can be direct? The Dutch tend to be even more so. =P
When I was in college a buddy of mine was a German National who grew up all over the world. He spoke like 6 languages fluently and could get by in Spanish and French too but did not consider those in his fluet repratrio. I would eat dinner at his house and his family and him would swap between all these languages from Hindi to Portuguese, Italian to German to English. Is was maddening. His father was an executive with a multinational manufacturer and that is why he grew up all over the world from India, Brazil, Latin America, Italy, Germany.
I love listening to you talk about Germany!!!
Sue G. Aw thanks!
This is so good again! And what a good idea to talk about. Well I’m not in a relationship and also not a multicultural one. But I can completely relate to these kinda byproducts.
And it’s so interesting again to hear some things about your own culture from an American.
So good! Love it! :)
Naty J Aw I’m glad you liked this video! And happy you can relate
Kelly does her thing You’re absolutely welcome!
Thanks for sharing your very personal stories!
Kelly, I have been married to a german girl for 29 years and lived many years on both sides of the Atlantic. Many of the things that you mention in this video are things that I can relate to. I do find it interesting to hear it from a woman's perspective.
There are so many things that are wonderful about cross-cultural marriages, but they are pretty tough, too. You made some fantastic points like:
-Communication is much more than just language
-feelings of inadequacy
-feelings of appearing foolish (that stop you from trying)
-beurorcracy of two different countries that often do things incompatibly differently and that have a profound affect on your lives (and yes, even 29 years later)
-the difficulty with expectations, communication and just getting along with each other's family and friends
-getting to the point where you think that Mischa is such and insider that you forget that he is not and that cultural, language and thought pattern barriers still need to be considered as possible barriers in any given situation, BEFORE you start the big argument!
-and so much more.
Thanks. It was fun.
Al
PS You will notice that I did not offer any advice to you on anything at all.
My motto: Unsolicited advice is seldom appreciated
I was looking forward to a video from you and its very interesting. Would you be interested in sending your videos off to a captioning service like rev? Or allowing community contributions? Also hi!
Evelyn Snyder hi!! I’m not sure why, but the automatic captions take awhile to populate.
I’m going to work on this!
@@Kellydoesherthing sometimes the autocaptions mess up what you're saying and its a bit frustrating. Rikki poynter has a TH-cam video on captioning videos if you're interested.
Been curious about how the process works. Thanks!
Thanks for watching!!
I don't think this list is final, a part 2 would be nice :)
Haha you’re right, it’s not final. Maybe I can do a part 2 :)
I am married to a Thai-born lady who spent most of her adult life in Japan.
I left Germany in 1972 for NZ.
We certainly know about multi-culti.
You are right, Kelly... humour and funnies often do not translate well across cultures / upbringings.
In spite of that my wife and I manage well. - And so do you... from what I read.
Cheers!
Completely deadpan: "Misha could be telling them all sorts of things about me, like how wonderful I am. And I don't have the chance to show him how wrong he is." 🤣🤣
My dear Kelly, I am very happy to notice how much you love your Mischa. When will you go a step further?
Do you mean becoming his "sugar mama"?
Children are gamechangers for everyone!
I guess I think Kelly can share what she wants and the rest is none of our business. We're not entitled to know everything about her life.
no. that's whay he has to deal with all the bureaucracy to work in US. if she married him, it would be easy peasy
I do definitely love my Misha
Mischa is lucky 🍀 to have you and that you are able to make this video.
OLDBD1 aw thank you!
Dear Kelly, I too had an american friend for several years und visited the US 7 times between 2004 and 2007. Thanks to your Video I now understand some of her perspectives better than then. Thank you. On the other hand I never met an US-american so open minded, perceptive and - as you described it - sensitive. Maybe more americans are than I think - and she was, too, for shure - but was not able to give it such a good expression. That was helpfull, and touching, thanks again.
Love your videos !!! Quick question - I am American born who lived in Canada with a Southern European / middle eastern background . Family and friends are KEY in any type of relationships -- I’ve noticed by chance that mainly my German friends DONT keep in touch like as in AT ALL !! Is that just a random thing or am I just unlucky with the various group of friends have specifically from Germany ? It’s something that i can’t wrap my head around ( btw when we all individually get together it’s AMAZING times but when I send occasional messages here and there just to check in it’s crickets & tumbleweed specifically from my German friends ) what gives ?
I can relate to your video. I am currently dating a German and have been for awhile now. Although, it can be frustrating I love it. I really can relate to the being blunt and "rudeness." That was the hardest thing to get through for me. My friends and family do the same thing when they meet her as well lol. Thanks again for the video!
I like your speaking, its very clear and easy to listen to :-)
Thanks!
Kelly is an impressive speaker. Clear and forthright, she has the knack of translating subtle or complex ideas into well-crafted utterances. Thinking is in lockstep with the means of conveyance . . .
James Neilson Graham thank you!!
OT question: Did you ever learn what "schunkeln" is? I don't think the word has a direct English translation but it's a very common practice when people listen to German folk music while sitting at a table. I've done it once or twice. Don't judge me! ;-)
"sway to music while sitting down, arms linked with the people to the left and right" is the closest thing to a translation I found :P
You have my vote for making "monocultural couple" a valid term.
I really liked this video - I feel you guys, my wife and I have been through a lot of these things (visa, language barrier, cultural references).
Thank you for sharing!
doc Deutschmann haha! Im glad you liked it :) thanks for watching!
Very interesting, thank you! I'm studying abroad in the US atm and I also noticed that some Americans don't seem to be aware of the popularity of their TV shows and movies abroad, especially in Europe and Germany. Positive: I suddenly get away with not having seen certain movies everybody should have watched. Negative: Me simply being uncultured perpetuates the idea of Germans not knowing anything about American pop culture. The cultural differnces mostly lie in the details, imo. No inside jokes in America ;) (Also funny: It took me moving to the US to learn that I cannot refer to inside jokes as "Insiders", like we do back home.)
David Lol! Thanks for sharing :) and good luck with your studies!
I am German, working in Aviation and had to deal with americans a lot. This changed my mind about US citizens, now I like to call up a service hotlines and enjoy the conversation with them. I was job wise several times in US and I like it. Kelly, just enjoy the differences, your boyfriend and the two countries, dont take care about what outhers says. Like me just try to build up a good relationship between this cultures. I like to watch your chanel, stay like you are!
My husband learned Hungarian for me and that is not German or English:) The same way as I learned Romanian for him and we also speak English and German very well, Spanish and French. It is a common thing in Europe to speak multiple languages and I find it very important to be able to at least hold a conversation with your significant other in their own mother tongue.
Alway a good idea for a video: The differences of mentality between germans and US-citizens.
As a German one question: We (Germans ) have stereotypes about US Americans?
I think I know what you mean, but are these really stereotypes?
Just kidding, but be assured it is more a European than a German thing and as long as the 45th did feed every stereotype about US Americans you can't change that thing. Sorry, but thanks for your contribution.
Lothar Schepers Lol!
Bang on! I'm a Canadian who moved to Germany many years ago and have experienced everything you mentioned. A small 'for instance': In Canada we say sorry a lot, a LOT; even if it isn't our fault. Over here in Germany they look at you like you just grew a third leg if you say sorry when, for instance, someone else bangs into you. People have taken this as a sign that I feel inferior instead of me being overly polite.
Anyhow, you really hit on all the things I feel or have felt over the years living over here. Thanks bunches!
PS.
My defense is always: You can take the Canadian out of Canada but not the Canada out of the Canadian...
Juma Lol! I use that same phrase for both Misha and I haha thanks for watching :) and for the comment
Dear Kelly,
I lived and worked for many years in the US (I am German) and my wife is US American and moved back with me to Germany in 2016. by listening to your video it was like my wife is speaking, meaning I do absolutely agree with what you are saying. Wo do face the same challenges. And we do love each other and wouldn’t have done anything different. Great video! Thanks!
God bless.
Good to hear that we are not alone in these experiences! Thanks for watching - I’m happy you liked it!
Mischa is a lucky guy! Love your channel!
You describe yourself as sensitive, yet you put yourself on TH-cam - that’s very brave of you! I love your channel, and I hope Misha gets his immigration paperwork settled soon.
1. The immigration process is really tough. I am so glad we are married and my American wife could just sponsor my green card. (so it is not too surprising that there are so many illegals in the US)
2. My wife keeps forgetting that too and gets so wound-up over something I said where I don't even understand that I used a wrong word or used it in a context where it has a different - unwanted - meaning.
3. Social anxiety seems to be much more common in the US (from my observations - data lacking) - including my wife - I wonder, is the strong focus on reading/learning in kindergarten rather than social integration really the right approach?
😍😘Loved it!😍😍
12:30 They have no need to lie to their friends. Because "beat around the bush" is nothing but disingenuous. When a friend asks you for your opinion, they want to hear your honest opinion because they trust you. To feed him with phrases means for him that he cannot count on you. Trust has been gambled away at that moment. From then on you are only a superficial acquaintance for him. (Remember the stereotypes about Americans)
@@amm287 In german we call that "herumeiern" (fool around) and it drives us nuts.
Kelly the big sugar mom! 😂😂😂 You know how to make things awkward! 😳
It really is one of my strongest talents 😂😂😂
she's way older than him
Is he out of school yet?
@@axemanracing6222 kindergarten
John Constable way older? Lol I’m one year older than him 😂😂
Hello Kelly i am a German and i will do my best (with my very basically english) to give a comment to your videos. I like to hear you talking about your time in Germany and the experiences you've had. I share your opinion that the germans are sometimes a little bit rough, harsh and reserved. But that depends on where you're staying in Germany. (Rhineland-Palatine, Saxony, Lower Saxony, Bavaria...) I have to wish you a wonderful day and I am looking forward to your next video. Keep going on like this. 👍🏻
hastalavista1970 thank you!! I’m happy you enjoyed this video and hope you enjoy my future content :) thanks for sharing!
My father was stationed in Germany from 72 to 96. I used to talk about Germany all the time until my friends told me I don't live in Germany anymore so I can quit talking about it or I need to move back there
pat goff haha!
My husband and I just went through the struggles of immigration this year. It was a hassle but since we are married it was a little easier. The language barrier is not as bad for us, but it still bothers me that he doesn't speak more German (We've been married 2 years now and lived in Germany for 3). I'm trying to convince him to take classes but he argues that it's not necessary since I speak English.
The last thing you mentioned is something I hate so much! German isn't that harsh. We do not shout all the time. And most sentences that you hear in movies or tv shows don't even make sense. So many times my husband paused a movie and asked me about the German sentence they just used... well. It was not a German sentence but some German words randomly put together. Or German sayings and proverbs that do not exist.
Das erinnert mich stark an Denglish...Phantasie-Konstrukte für Sprachfaule.....
This is very disrespectfull from him. "Nah, I give shit about your mother language. Just keep talking mine!"
I love your linguistic style!
Martin Weihrauch thanks!
Love your videos! They're intelligent and funny - perfect combination 😃
Thank you!! I appreciate you saying that :)
Just here to say, i like your content :)
Den Schnitzel aw thank you!!
I (German) am married to a Swiss woman. And even though Switzerland is pretty near and we are neighbors, a lot of the things you were telling about we experienced as well. Especially the part where you told about the fights caused by a misunderstanding and then already being very angry made me giggle - this happened to us so often ;-)
Christian Kruse Lol! I’m always so encouraged to hear that we aren’t the only ones :)
Same here. German woman married to a Swiss. Even if you speak each other's language perfectly doesn't mean you really understand each other. I think it's especially dangerous between Swiss and German people because you think, "We both speak German, what's the problem?" But there are many cultural differences. And since I live in Switzerland now I consider Germans and especially German customer service as rude, too.
@@roesi1985 haha, you are so right! I lived in Switzerland for a few years, going back to Germany was a real culture clash. Wow, people are SO rude! First few months I always thought: what did I do to them?!
That's funny. My Mother-in-law and I got along much better before I learned enough Polish to sometimes understand what she was saying! ;->
Lol!
That's funny!
You just killed me laughing.
First stealing cars correctly makes you a well-reputed part of the Polish family! ;)
Regarding the criticism, I guess in Germany it is (similar to our Austrian way) more the "nix gschimpft is globt gnua" (in Hochdeutsch vermutlich "nicht geschimpft zu haben ist Lob genug" :) ) approach - you will get used to it :)
I absolutely liked the "Sprechen Sie deutsch" part - please include more "Kelly speaks German" parts, you sound lovely in German too :)
Its even worse the more east you travel. In Russia I Think the children do not get praised at all.
Oder wie der Bayer sagt: “schlecht ist’s nicht.”
@@johnvillafana4371 Really? I understand Misha has a German-Russian background, so maybe he's even worse than the average German ... Poor Kelly!
This is definitely one thing we germans have to improve. Sometime it is better to praise one / something. The "not praising" part got us a hugh lot of grumpy people. "I was never praised, so I will praise noone too! >:-[" Sad world. Don't overpraise, especially for everyday tasks "Yay, you put your pants not onto your head!", but everything outside the ordinair... PRAISE IT!
Yup, dating a foreigner is a challenge. I am in a long distance relationship with a German woman. She speaks good English but with an accent as well. She's been here twice to see me now I'm going to be going over there. We do have some misunderstandings, and sometimes it does have to do with cultural differences. I don't speak German just a few words and her parents don't speak English so I can't really have a good conversation with them. She wants me to move there one day, but I'd have to learn the language to live there and learning German is hard. This video is so relatable
No, german is not that hard. The grammar is a bit odd maybe, but the pronunciation is very easy as you get the knack. And there are very much similar words with sometimes the exact same pronounciation. House = Haus, mouse = Maus etc. The easy thing is we pronounciate everything as it is written, so no to little suprises there. Not like the french ones ;) Get a good course and you are good to go. :)
Oh my god, we're back again!
It's interesting to see someone else, besides myself, who has experienced a German and all the cultural challenges. I met my German wife in Wiesbaden in 1976 and we've now been married for 40 years. As for the in-laws, my advice is to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER forget to bring flowers, or wine, or a small gift when you are invited over to their home. It goes a long way to cement that in-law relationship. I wish you and Misha happiness!
Aw 40 years!? Congratulations! Thank you :) and I wish you and your wife continued happiness!
Calls him Micha
? WieWarDieFrage88? Well...that’s not his name, so I won’t be calling him that hahaha
ive been in the US in September last year and experienced way more rude customer service in the 2 weeks than in Germany.
eg. my flight back was cancled. Went to the service at the airport i just landed and wanted to rescedule it. (i hate talking to someone on the phone) the Guy was confused why i had my luggage and after i said i just landed he waved me off and said i should go and enjoy my vacation and call the number. (noone else was waiting for service)
anothertime i asked the bus driver if this is the right bus going to streetxyz. Didnt even look at me and said just press the button not answering my question.
Woman at Wendys just ignored half my order not giving a fuck.
Person with a hotdog stand wanted to push it a little uphill and waved to me expecting me to help and after i did didnt even say thank you.
Wanted to put back the shopping cart where the others are placed. Two workers of the supermarket were standing in the way talking. Waited 20 sec. until they also didnt look at me and say "just leave it" waving the hand like "ok ok go away now"
Generally i didnt have the feeling people liked their jobs and want to do them correctly.
Waiters were nice ( prob. because they are forced to, to get the tips they need) and normal citizens were very nice and helpfull.
My guess is that you traveled to somewhere in the northeast
On _Wanted Adventure,_ they recently shared in a video that they speak English, even though they both understand German, because it's the language they fell in love over. It sounds like you and Mischa might we well advised to establish a situation in which you alternate weeks. English one week and German the next. Though, perhaps you would well advised to lean into the German a bit, at least in the beginning, since his English sounds a fair bit more practiced.
Fauler Perfektionist haha I have a friend married to an Austrian and they do something like this
Have you considered the K1 visa that you sponsor him in the USA I did it worked good for me
As a Chilean being with an “American” woman in “the U.S” (I always have this issue here, cause I’m also an American living in America, the only difference is that one is in North and the other is in South....America) there’s a lot of cultural differences, within the couple relationship, as well as family, friends and society. It’s a process that takes some time I guess, and could combine goods things out of this different “two worlds”. Regardlyn of the “customer service” for me most of the time feels very fake and mechanic, u don’t “feel” it’s authentic, it’s part of a “business model” based on tips, and the fear of being fired so more a role to be play, and most of the times could be “too much”...it’s good to have a good service, but sometime I would like to say “We are Ok, you bring our stuff, you already ask if everything is Ok like 10 times, now Relax...I call u when I need you” (ha).
What comes to “feelings” is also a big, big cultural difference between a Latin and US culture. We are used to express more our emotions and feelings, and we are constantly touching each others, through hugs, kisses when we meet someone, patting or rubbing someone’s arm... my impression is some people could see it as a threat I guess.
One thing that is weird to me, is that in “America” almost all women (at least that I know) “dream” (or dreamt) and want to “marry” someday, and when they do, they change their name after “their” husband, thing that for us is something abosolutetly archaic, Pathriarcal and obsolete...I don’t know how is it in the German Culture, and if it’s so important for the society that couples “have to marry”, as I see (in my limited perception in my few staying in the US)....well...lot of challenges in these cultural assembled mixed couples...one thing it’s neede for sure: Patience! (Or not? Ha).
Congratulation for your videos, they are excellent, Smart sense of humor...I’m your new fan!...😜
Hi Kelly. You made me laugh. But I know what you mean. When you are in Germany and try to learn to speak German, People will continuously correct you making you repeat the sentence until it is correct. Although it is meant with the best intentions, it can be a little annoying at times. In Spain it is different. There the people repeat the sentence you said to them in the correct way. Making it sound as if it is the most normal thing. Like we used to repeat questions from the teachers to get a bit more time to come up with the right answer. Here in the UK we just ignore any mistakes as we regard it as rude to correct people. That is the easiest way, but our language suffers as people no longer speak English in the way they are supposed to. 😁
Anyway, I know how you feel. 🙄😊🤗
5:12 I like your humor :D
For Me I want to see that ring!! Love your video
Peter Ujah you and my mom both ;) hahaha
@@Kellydoesherthing Hmmm
3:49 As a German who has heard many fellow Germans pronounce "determine" like that, it really is hilarious and adorable. I'm sure I pronounced it like that too at first, even though I can't remember. It's just how the word looks like to us.
It's correct because it's a mine that detonates :D
Like "predator". Most Germans pronounce it "pre-dator" which is wrong.
It’s because the syllable stress patterns in English and German - although both related Germanic languages - are often different from each other
One has to remember that we learn british english aka Oxford english in school and american english is quite a bit different.
How will it be if you two get married?
Hallo, Ich bin aus Hamburg in Deutschland, habe heute dein Video entdeckt, finde ich lustig, ich hoffe du verstehst meine Worte ;)
Hey da sind ja deutsche Türgriffe!
I just recogniced the german door -knobs in background.
My great-grandmother was that way...very curt in her words bordering on mean. She was first generation from Germany to live here in the states so the old ways never left her.
4:36 Did you say language bear? lol Keep making your great Videos!!
Joe Wilke Lol!
Ours was also a two-year multi-cultural relationship before I immigrated here in Germany so I know what you mean about the chaos and paperwork, etc. Even now I'm always amazed at some backward ways from both countries but can only accept it.
I'm from Slovenia and I was in a long-term relationship with a Finnish woman and our cultural clashes were pretty hilarious most of the time. But in many ways, Finns and Slovenes are very similar.
ko macka i mis
my girl is also from the us, the language barriere in arguments is soooo real xD
Erylea it really is!!
@Kelly does her thing - Germanic countries have a very straight forward culture. The corrections often are not meant harsh... quiet the opposite. They are meant helpful in most cases. My brother in law (from the USA) had the same issue with my sister (dutch) as she took him to meet the dutch family for the first time. He was baffled that when she (my sis) would ask us "How are you" we would be honest even with complete strangers around. Same as with "How is my Dutch" he would get "Long way to go there bud, but try to watch a few tv shows with sub titles it works wonders." He expected a compliment. You are right and if you think the Germans are blunt stay away from the dutch etc egalitarians gone egalitarian. No boasting ans straight forward
Redisia I think it is way better to tell you the truth instead of giving fake compliments. If you want to know how good your german is and it is terrible why should I lie to you?
That's an authentic video.👍
thanks :) i could probably do a whole new video just about what it's been like during the past 6 months
Probably🤨?
If you like to, I am quite sure you can. (especially about the last 6 months 🙈😅)
You are doing your thing, keep going🙏
Cordially
Your new Subscriber 👍
@@Skylla54 thank you so much for your support to my channel!
And I thought getting a work visa in Germany is difficult.
I am brazilian but agree with the way Germans are sincere.
If you don"t really want to know how you look like, why asking someone else?
They are honest and direct.If you get a compliment than you know it is true.Simple as that
Don't worry so much about other people's opinions. If someone tries to lecture me about something, it usually goes in one ear and out the other. I also wouldn't worry so much about stereotypes. Just be yourself. If someone does not like you, that's their problem. Good luck to you!
Thanks!!
Yay, Kelly, a new vid!
Don't worry about German culture feeling strange to you--I'm German, and the culture (especially since my return from the US) is even strange to me (except for a few traits I really like in Germans)!
Hope you guys can hang in there regarding immigration. I didn't have any problems with my paperwork when I moved to the US, but things were a bit different at the time, and I was also married to a US Military member which may have made it easier.
Thanks :) I’m hoping we can hang in there too. We just got some really good news yesterday which got us both feeling more optimistic. As always, thank you for watching and for your support!
@@Kellydoesherthing 👍
@@religiohominilupus5259
Umm... Here's the thing: Shhhhh.👂..can you keep this on the downlow?! I already know a girl from Germany, and I absolutely adore HER. I think she's my freakin' soul mate. The problem is that I'm in the "friend zone" and I THINK I'm gonna be stuck there forever. I'm Cool with that, but I'd like to take our relationship to the next level at some point, but I'm basically invisible to her. This is weird for me as "meeting " Amurican women is typically a piece of Cake🎂 for me as I play drums ,was labeled as the "Cool, cute ,funny GUY that every girl wants to date, "and have a pretty decent personality. Additionally,I have THREE college degrees and am fairly intelligent ( I have German ancestry, after all). So yeah, I've lived a life that'd make Casanova, Don Juan and Lothario jealous, BUT it doesn't seem to work for Ms Germany. Since I DON'T understand German norms, mores and folkways, I don't know what approach to take. Any ideas?! Since I'd like To Explore my German heritage in Germany, moving there would be awesome, ESPECIALLY if it involves her. I'm even thinking about asking my German dream girl to set me up ( so we could still stay in touch )with a : friend; coworker; neighbor; cousin; young Aunt, etc, BUT, obviously, that's a hella awkward conversation!!😀
ANY ideas?!
# Perplexed in Amurica
@@religiohominilupus5259
Witaj Caj,
We⚾ DID It!! JUST UFB!! I'm STILL trying to take it ALL in!! Just pretty surreal at this point as, honestly, I thought they were going to Beat us. I REALLY,REALLY DID. So, yeah,THIS is nuts!! So... I think it's ONLY appropriate that you get a GEAUX NATS Speedo® now, because I know that *everybody* in Europe wears 'em!!😀😎 And, I don't know what size you wear, BUT judging from what you were wearing at 👙 Helga and Fritz's 🏊pool party this Summer, I am guessing/you'll NEED like a size 16-18 . Does that sound about right?! It's cool, I dig a bit of "junk in the trunk!! " 😀😎 Oh ,Damn, I'm In trouble NOW!! Then again, I REALLY can't remember ,as my vision was kinda blurry at the Pool party because of the fact that the Pool was over -chlorinated (it had to be at least 10 ppm chlorine) and WE were doing SO MANY Jägermeister🍸 shots!!😀So, JUST lemme know OK?! Also, ARE you going to Get THE *GEAUX NATS* tattoo now?! I think it'd be awesome!!
# Tramp stamp
Do zobaczenia.
XOXO.
PS I think a white Mercedes SUV would be nice, TOO. But you decide!!👍😀
Hopefully, you'll like this TULIA song,TOO.
th-cam.com/video/JeXmCHXbzF0/w-d-xo.html
@@religiohominilupus5259
You Got this,bro!!
Woooooooooooooooo!!😀😀😎😎
Going to Germany next week (river cruise) I promise I WONT SHOUT MY LIMITED GERMAN AT ANYONE. Actually will probably softly mumble it.
K Do hahaha :) enjoy!!
@Logan Waltz this is true be careful in Germany, the refugees have all rights. I am a German, I live in Canada.
@Logan Waltz that's total bullshit. did you confuse Germany with the worst parts of the USA?
"I'm not living in Germany, so I'm the perfect source to talk about Germany." Guess you look the (canadian) Fox News a lot...
as austrian i have to determine: to express criticism very directly is quite one of the clearest differences between germans and us (although in other cultural behaviour we are very similar, rude service stuff was probably even invented in vienna ;)
we in austria* will similar to what you describe more likely use a softly hint instead of a hard-nosed appeal so not to compromise each other.
but you have to understand, in german thinking the directly criticism is thought to attain the goal as fast as possible: to have a fast change in others behaviour and therefore to describe bad things precisly but without weakening. (often germans behave in a know-it- all manner we hate)
in german thinking* our effort to describe things diplomatically is a sign of sliminess or anxiety and will not change the problem, while we think subtle messages can be understood by those people affected and that too directly approach will just provoke an act of defiance.
*disclaimer: of course there are huge differences in mindset of each individual in any country of the world
@Peter S what is your point? so do probably your foreigners often/sometimes think koreans and japanese are the same, english, irish and scotish etc.
t.b.h. i dont care if foreigners are recognizing those details, of course they don't do usually, nobody who is not interested in smaller or larger differences has to read my comment, but for those who are interested yet- voila- the view of insiders can be some sort of orientation.
@@donkeysel3310 thanks to our upbringing, most germans don't get suptle hints. We need the hammer to the face. And this makes us angry. We don't like our own behaviour. I only hope that with newer generations, german behaviour gets more friendly with time. The war / after war generations were hard grumpy people, inbound to their opinion that nothing that comes easy is worth anything. "Only if it hurts to get it, it is worth getting it! And not complaining is praised enough!", you know the "Schaffe schaffe, Häusle baue" (Work hard, work hard, build a house) people. If nothing else matters. Bah, I'm so done with this behaviour.
And yes, bad customer service was definitely invented in Vienna. "Haben Sie entcofeniierten Kaffee?" "Na, wenns den wolle kenns woanders nah geh!" (Do you have decaf?" "No, if you want to have this, you can leave for another location!") Even as a "rude" german, I was buffled galore! :D
I have the same cultural and language barrier experience except it was the other way around. I used to hate when my american exhusband and I used to have arguements and he would use the language barrier excuse to just stop arguing. Also it enoyed me that he was stationend in Germany and we were married for 6 years that he never made an effort to learn german to be able to speak to my mom or grandparents
I know exactly what you are talking about. Processing my VISA for the States took over 6 months. 🤷🏼♂️
Jay in the USA oh wow!
I know someone who had to wait 18 months and they were married 😭
@@Kellydoesherthing my grandfathers twin brother moved to the US after WWII. Because his name is Adolf, he couldn't become a state resident, despite the fact that he has family over there (wife, several kids and grandkids, even grandgrandkids), owns a big company with several thousand workers, his children have several businesses, his wife was the head secretary for Ron Sommer, they own a big farm near New York and stuff... They once tried to withhold his green card. So he told the person responsible that he will tell every single one of his employees the room number and name of the person responsible so they can come and thank him / her personally for losing their job because if he has to leave the states, he will shut down his business and take his whole family with him. They kept withholding his greencard and after the first hundred angry employees showed up, he got it back. Some on the bureaucracy are all up and mighty...
you should try out Berlin. think you would like it
Can you make a video, wehre you speak german ?
95BSebastian hahah I don’t know if I would be up for the slew of corrections in comments that I would get on that video lol
@@Kellydoesherthing Kelly, let me tell you that German anf English are closer than you think. They are related languages. Both belong to the same family of languages. The west germanic languages. West Germanic languages are: German, English, Dutch, Afrikaans and Frisian
I suggest telling Mischa that you can indeed break your fingers punching drywall, if you really let it have it. That should help with the fears of fragility. :)
12:50 „I‘m sensetive“
Omg you looked so sad at that moment... I just wanted to put you in a blanket and cuddle you 🤗.
It must be hard for a not german person to experience this stereotypical „cold german way“! I‘m so sorry for you!!!
Kenny P. Raserball hahaha :)
@@Kellydoesherthing @Kenny P. Raserball: I agree with you. (and I´m german)
Die Zweitmerkwürdigste (hoffe das ist ein Wort)wenn man einen deutschen Freund hat: ich hab jetzt ratiopharm im Schrank!Für deutsche total normal