It’s not really the parents’ fault completely. I am sure they parented him the best way they know how. This is a common problem in all races. Can’t blame the parents fully
As parents, its oue job to make sure our children are independent. We are going to live forever to take care of them. Let them struggle and allow them the experience of hard work and the value of $$$$.
It's not just the spoil but also the people/friends that he hung out with. They can influence him to do things like that. The only sad part about this story is your dad using your brother as an excuse to cheat on your mom. Your mom has done her best to raise you two. Yet , at the end she's the one with a broken heart. 💔
I have two kids (one of each). They have chores and responsibilities. I don’t let them sit and get whatever. They need to earn it and they disciplines.
OMG... why does this story hit home so much!! YES, THESE DARN HMONG PARENTS ARE AT FAULT AND NEED TO STOP BABYING THESE DARN KIDS!!! lOVE your kids but stop spoiling them and stop babying them!! Let them grow up, fall down, hit rock bottom, live on the streets, find a job, pay for their own bills & car, & everything else. Kids need to fall and rise in order to live life and be responsible for their own lives. STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR THEM!!! I BLAME THESE PARENTS WHO WON'T ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO GO OUT OF THEIR HOUSE AND KEEP TRYING TO BABY THEM IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. GUESS WHAT!! nOW YOU PARENTS NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE for what you brought up! Too bad, so sad. These boys/men aren't even like the generations in the past that parents can look up to anymore. I hate to break it to you Hmong family but the boys/men these days, MOST are not reliable or dependable. In the end, it's the daughters who will be taking care of the parents now-a-days.
That is why you can not love and spoil a person too too much or else in the end that person is going to be a monster to you, I have learned that the hard way too. That is what human beings are, monsters.
This is a very sad story.😭😭😭 Cas peb cov kids es yus nim hlub hlub hlub lawm es txog thaum kawg yus nim yog tus mob siab xwb os.😭😭 All because we love them to much.
Tu siab kawg li os, cov minyuam tiam no muaj game zoo dhau heev lawm ces lawv qhov uas lawv hlub thiab nyiam tshaj ces yog game lawm xwb. Hais lawv los lawv heev hlo rau yus lawm xwb mas yeej Tu siab kawg li os.
The current games caused our kids have problems with all physical, emotional and spiritual issues. They are lazy for all. If we spoiled them, we add another lazy for them. The best way to help our kids, we have to love them the same as American parents': "Start to encourage, advice and discipline them from childhood. After graduate from high school, let them to have their own responsibilities depend on their abilities. Don't let them stay free. The kids who don't respect parent's advice and encouragement to continue education and have work, must kick them out from parents' houses. So, their suffers will teach them."
There’s no cure for gout. “Yeeb dawb” only NUMB the gout pain. However, a healthy well balanced diet is the best treatment for gout. Medications are also available but only alleviate the pain.
No matter how much you, as parents, love your child/children, you have to start disciplining them at a young age, as soon as they understand what punishment is. You cannot wait until they become a young adult to start disciplining them. Your parents are completely at fault here. You even said yourself that your mother would have you talk to your brother instead of them doing the talking. Your story is a cautionary tale for those parents who don't bother with disciplining their kids, especially the sons.
Ntuj aw, lub neej tau lub neej lwj siab li koj niam los tu siab hos tus txij nkawd ncaim lub ntiaj teb no mus lawm los nim niaj hnub quaj nrhiav thiab os. Es tus mus yuav niam yau los tu siab ua luaj thiab los mas
This is what happens when you spoil your kids. They don't have responsibility. They get lazy. Doesn't matter if it's 1 son. You love but you need to show tough love as well.
Your brother is old enough, there are nothing you can do to force him to be what you want him to so on last he wants to do and change on his own then there is nothing except love him and do what you can, not by supposing his bad habits though. Good luck. It is going to be hard. Just let him be sister, everyone created their life. Maybe his life line was meant to be like that. Just worry about yours. You can not change anyone that does not want to do so let him learn the hard way.
This is the reason y I'm scared for my kids to become. I don't sweet talk to my kids. When I use my calm voice to tell my kids to do something, they don't go. 2nd time nth. 3rd time I will yell at them. Girls chores or not my boys have to learn. they get scared when I yell lol but I love my kids. I also take them to my work place and show them that money ain't easy. I hope my kids will grow up and be good kids.
Sister, what is sad about your story is your father cheating on your mother and abandoning his husbandly and fatherly duties.. He took the cruel and cowardly way out, used your brother as an excuse to cheat and have a second wife. Every child is different even though have same parents. They have their own personality, thoughts, and beliefs. Your mother is a strong person but karma will get your father.
Sleeping passed 12 noon is way too late. No later than 10 am. I can resonate to this story in some ways. My son is 18 and currently not working nor attending college. I am having him do chores in the home. He's learning to cook at the moment. He's a gamer also. About a week and a half ago he stop gaming till 2-3am and not wake up 2-3 pm next day cause I had a heart to heart discussion with him. Being a single mother and not wanting to put to much stress on myself and him, I am tackling one situation at a time. As a parent, you need to sit down with your child and have a talk not a lecture. Be sure to listen to what your child has to say too. My son is now no longer sleeping in till 2-3 pm. He just got his permit and I am teaching him to drive on weekends. After that, we will work together to find him a job. Some children need detailed steps to help them tackle certain situations like for instance in this story when you wanted him to make an appointment, you tackled it too harshly. My son has no knowledge on how to approach this when. I had told him he needed to update his address with Kaiser himself being that he's 18 Kaiser won't allow me to do it for him. He got nervous but I told him what he needed to say and gave him the information he needed to give them and from that he was able to do it courageously on his own.
As a Hmong descendent who came close to being killed fleeing the Vietnam war as a young child with my parents to get to the United States for a better life. I feel heartbroken 💔 seeing thousands of our Hmong people throwing their lives away on drugs, gangs and violence for a life behind bars or on drugs and homeless. At this rate our Hmong people will eventually die out.
Man, I think my BIL is going down the same path as these parents. He only has 2 kids and he doesn’t believe in discipline. His wife is also too lazy to discipline the kids so the oldest child acts like a wild animal. Honestly, my dogs behave 10x better than his kid. My BIL should listen to this story. LOL.
Sister thanks for sharing your story, it may or maynot be your parents fault of course someone got to be blamed. I fell sorry for your family to have lost a son. In this world there's Yin&Yan (good&bad), I have 6 children all doing good except my youngest daughter "I had done everything I could" but it didn't work she's 35 yrs old now but i lost her to drugs. I don't want to say more it only will make my tears rolling down... take care may the Lord bless us wellness...
That's what happened if people spoil kids now day's and don't teach them the right way of life, the more people spoiled your they get dummer and think money is easy to get whenever they ran out of money and just for it.... this stories is good for parents out there of knowing the right way to teach their kids and don't spoiled them to much....
Qhov teeb meem xeeb minyuam rau sab nraum txoj tube Kuv kuj yog ib tug ntsib lawm sab tshAj plaws yog tsis muaj hmoo thiab tsis muaj lub phone thiab tsis muaj nai maum cawm ces kuv ces kawg tuag li os
Jenny, I said this before, but would like to say it again. Please try to explain the English words into Hmong so that those don’t understand English will be able to understand the whole story. For example, Koos Loos, he always say it in Laotian and then tries his best to say or explain it in Hmong. When he fails to do that, I get lost in the story and it discourages me from continuing to be his supporter.
☯️ yin&yang in life no mater what we do we all will die some how. Live life to the fullest ✨️, but some like your brother have no choice to be born so just have a heart beat till die so the rest of us life goes on...
It’s not really the parents’ fault completely. I am sure they parented him the best way they know how. This is a common problem in all races. Can’t blame the parents fully
As parents, its oue job to make sure our children are independent. We are going to live forever to take care of them. Let them struggle and allow them the experience of hard work and the value of $$$$.
Awww... I pray your brother will change for the better
Hmoob lub neej uas ua RUAM TSAB NTSE ces:
Tseev HAIS thiab QHIA: Nyias NTSE NTSE nyias ces nyias xa nyias lub mav tais tswv yim qauj nkaus vos tuaj txhua zaus thiab txhua lub sij hawm ntawm txhua xeem Hmoob... TSIS MUAJ HNUB ploj, XAUS, hloov thiab kawg!
It's not just the spoil but also the people/friends that he hung out with. They can influence him to do things like that. The only sad part about this story is your dad using your brother as an excuse to cheat on your mom. Your mom has done her best to raise you two. Yet , at the end she's the one with a broken heart. 💔
I have two kids (one of each). They have chores and responsibilities. I don’t let them sit and get whatever. They need to earn it and they disciplines.
OMG... why does this story hit home so much!! YES, THESE DARN HMONG PARENTS ARE AT FAULT AND NEED TO STOP BABYING THESE DARN KIDS!!! lOVE your kids but stop spoiling them and stop babying them!! Let them grow up, fall down, hit rock bottom, live on the streets, find a job, pay for their own bills & car, & everything else. Kids need to fall and rise in order to live life and be responsible for their own lives. STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR THEM!!! I BLAME THESE PARENTS WHO WON'T ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO GO OUT OF THEIR HOUSE AND KEEP TRYING TO BABY THEM IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. GUESS WHAT!! nOW YOU PARENTS NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE for what you brought up! Too bad, so sad. These boys/men aren't even like the generations in the past that parents can look up to anymore. I hate to break it to you Hmong family but the boys/men these days, MOST are not reliable or dependable. In the end, it's the daughters who will be taking care of the parents now-a-days.
That is why you can not love and spoil a person too too much or else in the end that person is going to be a monster to you, I have learned that the hard way too. That is what human beings are, monsters.
Thank you for the story
This is a very sad story.😭😭😭
Cas peb cov kids es yus nim hlub hlub hlub lawm es txog thaum kawg yus nim yog tus mob siab xwb os.😭😭
All because we love them to much.
Tu siab kawg li os, cov minyuam tiam no muaj game zoo dhau heev lawm ces lawv qhov uas lawv hlub thiab nyiam tshaj ces yog game lawm xwb. Hais lawv los lawv heev hlo rau yus lawm xwb mas yeej Tu siab kawg li os.
Omg! Thov yuav muab tshuaj dabtsi los tau Thov txhob muab Yeeb dawb los kho os
Zoo kawm tiag zoo coj yeej tsis phem peb cov liam ntau tus lawm
The current games caused our kids have problems with all physical, emotional and spiritual issues. They are lazy for all. If we spoiled them, we add another lazy for them.
The best way to help our kids, we have to love them the same as American parents': "Start to encourage, advice and discipline them from childhood. After graduate from high school, let them to have their own responsibilities depend on their abilities. Don't let them stay free. The kids who don't respect parent's advice and encouragement to continue education and have work, must kick them out from parents' houses. So, their suffers will teach them."
There’s no cure for gout.
“Yeeb dawb” only NUMB the gout pain. However, a healthy well balanced diet is the best treatment for gout. Medications are also available but only alleviate the pain.
Koj yuav chim ces chim rau ob tus laus xwb vim nkawv hlub dhau qhov hlub.
Nyobzoo zooheejli tuajsaib kojthiaj tuajnplog tebtuajmlookoj thavtej lu li kojhai kuvlo yeejpog kiajpeb ib tuv nyab kwv tijyeej zoo li koj haij os
No matter how much you, as parents, love your child/children, you have to start disciplining them at a young age, as soon as they understand what punishment is. You cannot wait until they become a young adult to start disciplining them. Your parents are completely at fault here. You even said yourself that your mother would have you talk to your brother instead of them doing the talking. Your story is a cautionary tale for those parents who don't bother with disciplining their kids, especially the sons.
Tus me muam nkauj ntxawm e !!!!! Koj niag nus ces kav liam os !!! Cia rau luag tej tsim txiaj thiab maj ???? Es tab twg los yog cia rau yus xwb ????
Tau tub es txiv neej thiaj ciaj huab tais lod? Txiv neeg hmoob aww...muaj tsis muaj cas nej yuav muab peb cov poj niam rau txim loj ua luaj....
Ntuj aw, lub neej tau lub neej lwj siab li koj niam los tu siab hos tus txij nkawd ncaim lub ntiaj teb no mus lawm los nim niaj hnub quaj nrhiav thiab os. Es tus mus yuav niam yau los tu siab ua luaj thiab los mas
Sounds like the path my youngest will take!🤦♀️
Thank you for your story!! It inspires me to be a better person!!!
To this sister, thank you so much for sharing your story. Many children these days are heading toward your brother’s direction.
This is what happens when you spoil your kids. They don't have responsibility. They get lazy. Doesn't matter if it's 1 son. You love but you need to show tough love as well.
Tough love is okay.
Your brother is old enough, there are nothing you can do to force him to be what you want him to so on last he wants to do and change on his own then there is nothing except love him and do what you can, not by supposing his bad habits though. Good luck. It is going to be hard. Just let him be sister, everyone created their life. Maybe his life line was meant to be like that. Just worry about yours. You can not change anyone that does not want to do so let him learn the hard way.
Agreed
This is the reason y I'm scared for my kids to become. I don't sweet talk to my kids. When I use my calm voice to tell my kids to do something, they don't go. 2nd time nth. 3rd time I will yell at them. Girls chores or not my boys have to learn. they get scared when I yell lol but I love my kids. I also take them to my work place and show them that money ain't easy. I hope my kids will grow up and be good kids.
Sister, what is sad about your story is your father cheating on your mother and abandoning his husbandly and fatherly duties.. He took the cruel and cowardly way out, used your brother as an excuse to cheat and have a second wife. Every child is different even though have same parents. They have their own personality, thoughts, and beliefs. Your mother is a strong person but karma will get your father.
Yup. Kids need rules, consequences, limits to be mold and shape into adulthood.
Like the saying, you create your own monster.
Yog kawg li os ! Hmoob cov niam txiv hlub thiab yeej ywj cov niag menyuam tshaj Thawm kawg niam txiv mag tua los mag nti kev txom nyem !
Sleeping passed 12 noon is way too late. No later than 10 am. I can resonate to this story in some ways. My son is 18 and currently not working nor attending college. I am having him do chores in the home. He's learning to cook at the moment. He's a gamer also. About a week and a half ago he stop gaming till 2-3am and not wake up 2-3 pm next day cause I had a heart to heart discussion with him. Being a single mother and not wanting to put to much stress on myself and him, I am tackling one situation at a time. As a parent, you need to sit down with your child and have a talk not a lecture. Be sure to listen to what your child has to say too. My son is now no longer sleeping in till 2-3 pm. He just got his permit and I am teaching him to drive on weekends. After that, we will work together to find him a job. Some children need detailed steps to help them tackle certain situations like for instance in this story when you wanted him to make an appointment, you tackled it too harshly. My son has no knowledge on how to approach this when. I had told him he needed to update his address with Kaiser himself being that he's 18 Kaiser won't allow me to do it for him. He got nervous but I told him what he needed to say and gave him the information he needed to give them and from that he was able to do it courageously on his own.
Thank you for sharing your family’s story. This resonates with my own family.
Love with responsibility. Sometimes kids have to earn too. Cant always about give and give.
Agreed 💯
As a Hmong descendent who came close to being killed fleeing the Vietnam war as a young child with my parents to get to the United States for a better life.
I feel heartbroken 💔 seeing thousands of our Hmong people throwing their lives away on drugs, gangs and violence for a life behind bars or on drugs and homeless.
At this rate our Hmong people will eventually die out.
Viv ncaus tiam 21 no ib family yeej muaj 1 tug zoo li koj lawm txhob nyuaj siab
Kuv muaj ib tug sister thiab ib tug brother uas drugs.
Man, I think my BIL is going down the same path as these parents. He only has 2 kids and he doesn’t believe in discipline. His wife is also too lazy to discipline the kids so the oldest child acts like a wild animal. Honestly, my dogs behave 10x better than his kid. My BIL should listen to this story. LOL.
Lots of Hmong kids like this cause their parents are like this
Sister thanks for sharing your story, it may or maynot be your parents fault of course someone got to be blamed. I fell sorry for your family to have lost a son. In this world there's Yin&Yan (good&bad), I have 6 children all doing good except my youngest daughter "I had done everything I could" but it didn't work she's 35 yrs old now but i lost her to drugs. I don't want to say more it only will make my tears rolling down... take care may the Lord bless us wellness...
@Nancy Vang I’m sorry about your daughter. May you find peace. Don’t blame yourself and May you be at peace.
That's what happened if people spoil kids now day's and don't teach them the right way of life, the more people spoiled your they get dummer and think money is easy to get whenever they ran out of money and just for it.... this stories is good for parents out there of knowing the right way to teach their kids and don't spoiled them to much....
Qhov teeb meem xeeb minyuam rau sab nraum txoj tube Kuv kuj yog ib tug ntsib lawm sab tshAj plaws yog tsis muaj hmoo thiab tsis muaj lub phone thiab tsis muaj nai maum cawm ces kuv ces kawg tuag li os
It’s your parents fault for not teaching your brother anything. They created a monster in their house and it ruined your brother’s lives.
Happy Tuesday Jenny
Sorry about your brother, but he a lost cause. Their nothing you can do for him anymore.
Cage chicken will never catch a grasshopper. It's the farmers fault.
Cage chicken will never catch a grasshopper. It's the farmers fault.
Koj mas hais yog tshaj cov tsis txiaj ces yeej hais tsis tau li os me viv ncaus
Jenny, I said this before, but would like to say it again.
Please try to explain the English words into Hmong so that those don’t understand English will be able to understand the whole story.
For example, Koos Loos, he always say it in Laotian and then tries his best to say or explain it in Hmong.
When he fails to do that, I get lost in the story and it discourages me from continuing to be his supporter.
Just let him rot in jail.. only 1 can teach 1 self
Just typical for the guy to go find someone new and not deal with the issue that you’ve help created 🤦🏻♀️
kuv tuaj saib koj lawm os
Your parents fault
Drugs
Zoo kawm li os tuaj saib koj dua lawm o
I think your parents try enough to help him he didn’t want to have a good life
Ua tsaug na mos sister thanks you so much for your story told
☯️ yin&yang in life no mater what we do we all will die some how. Live life to the fullest ✨️, but some like your brother have no choice to be born so just have a heart beat till die so the rest of us life goes on...
Your story so truth
Really relatable in our Hmong Community..
Sorry about your brother. Wise words. Golden. Thank you.
Sister your this is not just happening to your family, just let your brother go untill he decides to cool down be a real guy.
Let it go ok.
Your parents spoil him too much, because your parents don't have education.
This story sounds like my brother in law (dablaug)...
It is better not to help when they dont need help...or listen to anybody..let them go...hmong people need to stop spoiling their kids...