Korean Adoption Story | Happy Girl | Adoption Documentary Film
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ต.ค. 2015
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Released at the Minnesota Transracial Film Festival on October 10, 2015 for the first time, "Happy Girl" delves into one Korean International adoption story, and her journey into the past to find answers.
Thank you to Adopsource, Dawn Tomlinson and everyone who works on making the Minnesota Transracial Film Festival a reality each year, spreading awareness about adoption through the avenues of film.
If you would like to donate towards the adoption documentaries that I make, and am currently in the process of making, please message me:). All proceeds will go towards music, filming equipment, travel, editing, and of course a special thanks on the credits of the current projects I am working on!
Thank you for watching, sharing with others and for your support!
Please make sure to subscribe to my TH-cam Channel to stay current with new content, like my Adoption Awareness Facebook Page and share with your family, friends and community! Don't miss my my other foster care and adoption series, Placed, Kismet and Beyond Biological, as well as my other Korean International documentary, "YoonMee: Beyond Korea".
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/ kismetadoptionawareness
I hope to capture a spectrum of voices from the foster care and adoption community. If you are interested in sharing your story, please send me an email at shelby.kilgore@wearemirrorlight.com.
Thank you for supporting an adoptee,
Shelby Redfield Kilgore
Mirror Light Productions
Music written and performed by
Christopher Danowski
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![ภาพนี้ก็ฮาเหมือนกันนะเนี้ย #1 SS8 [ พากย์นรก MEME.EXE ] | easy boy](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ytc50m91QK8/mqdefault.jpg)
My wife is Malaysian and our kids of mixed race. We lived in Korea for five years as I was in the hospitality business with Westin Hotels. I wish you much success in your hospitality
career and I have no doubt you will go far in your chosen career as you come across as a
intelligent,focused and determined person. Follow your dreams and reach for the stars!
Whoever is putting together these doco's deserve an award. They are outstanding, particularly the way they are done without needless commentary and unnecessary fanfare. Excellent.
W Walker thank you so much:).
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore - Did you find your sisters?
@@nunya2954 Kathy has not been able to find her sisters yet.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore Did she find her sisters? Would you please update us?
@@alikaraca163 she has not yet.
Just watched this with my daughter who is beginning her search. Very informative , well done and we loved how Kathy shared her emotions.
winbri5 Miller thank you for watching.
Live in NH too with Korean adopted family member. I hope you know how much joy you have brought to your American family--you are as irreplaceable to them as your own biological family is to you. Hope you
have the happiest of reunions with your sisters.
'YOU are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars."
love from a Korean friend
Thank you. :) I have tears now, too!
Hey Kathy, I really enjoyed watching and can connect with you since I'm also adopted myself. Btw have you received any updates on your biological sisters?
We are childeren of the lord.
Thanks for the support, Duma. Would be happy to connect offline. Send me a message if you'd like: tkim5663@gmail.com.
How beautiful! And true. 🤍
Very moving documentary. I am also a Korean adoptee and have had similar experiences. God bless you and I hope that you will be able to find your two sisters someday soon.
Omg my heart is breaking into a million pieces watching this documentary.. I 🙏🙏🙏that God opens doors for her to find her sisters.
Kathy, I just saw your very moving story. Good for you in persisting until you got details about your birth family. It’s painful how poorer families, including in the US, must sometimes make bitter decisions. It hurts. I hope you can find your sisters. I wish you better, good news about them. You certainly have the right attitude about making your way in the world. From the name your parents gave you, it sounds like you’re fulfilling their wishes. Always be the Happy Girl they hoped you would be. You know who you are, and where you come from. Good luck!
You really are a brave lady.Love you for all the strength you have.
Thanks, Thane! I'm sorry I didn't see your comment until now. Thank you for your support!
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Thank you so much for making this documentary and for sharing it. I have also passed it along to others. I am an adoptive mom of 4. My children are all from Haiti. This helped me to begin to understand feelings they may experience as they grow up and look for their answers. Thank you for being so open and candid and sharing your experience. It is very helpful to have been able to go along with you on your journey.
kimstube so neat that you are open and willing ..you must love your children very much
I was also adopted and grew up in New Hampshire - very much in solidarity with you on the racism growing up there. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you for watching!
It’s because you were rejected twice. I have 2 adopted grandson’s adopted from Korea and I worry they will run into brick walls when they begin their search.♥️🇨🇦♥️
I see a beautiful,strong person trying to reach her heart. Rational, smart, strong backbone. Clearly essence of genetic Korean thing. Life goes on.
Riveting ... so real, so human, so refreshing to watch genuine humanity here ...
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Kathy’s story. I pray she finds her sisters.
I am so so sorry that you had to endure racist comments, truly you are a beautiful lady.
Ok, after watching this painful part (25 min mark), the Korean government needs to step up and make resources available to adoptees. As an adoptee, I think the government is shielding privacy to facilitate smooth adoptions. "Usually" getting adopted is a benefit for the child. It's only as an adult, it starts getting murky.
I could say just this” Let it go. It’s does not matter from where you came from but now how well you build yourself”
Everybody has stories to tell but you made your own story of positivity . God bless you Happy Girl. 👍
I bet you have biological parents and siblings! My girlfriends (in our late 70’s) are only children all wish and hope for a sibling to show up, even though we had biological parents! I hurt and am feeling her anger that they won’t tell her birthdates of her parents. I bet her mom and sisters would love to know her now! On adoption stories who find their families they say feel whole for the first time!
Adoptees have the right to feel connected to their roots.
She was 4 months. I feel sad for her family in Seoul....I hope she finds her mom and sister....I hope she finds some joy in her life that helps her heal. Jehovah God wants us all to have joy in our hearts.
I believe that you will find your sisters 💞💜
This story is heartbreaking... Kathy I hope one day you get a happy ending... I wish you had more information to go on.. don't give up I'm sure ur sister's are longing to meet with you as well...keep ur faith.. you will find them.
I love this and thank you so much for sharing this. I will do this one day, when i gather the courage...you have brought me one step closer.
Let us know how your search goes, whenever that time comes for you. :)
Good for you! Inspirational! Here’s wishing you a life filled with gratitude and love.
Beautiful lady I feel such sadness for you please god you will find your sisters and find peace in your life sendin a big hud xxxx
Best of luck finding your sisters and your mother. Don't give up!
Thank you for watching her story.
Just remember your adopted parents who brought you up to be the lovely young woman you are today .
Watching your adopted mom crying it made me cry too as she felt she had let you down & you know that’s not true. Hope you managed to tell her that. Xx
Liz murray her adoptive mother wasn’t in this film. So I’m confused who you are talking about in the film crying with her.
OMGosh! Thank you for sharing your journey. I just don't understand why the agencies don't give us the information the first time. Why is it like a game? I totally felt grateful to the lady who translated for you and began to feel some emotional connection to you. Good luck.
The very limited information dispensed from adoption files is governed by law and is characteristic of what is called "closed adoption" -- same as in the U.S.
OUTSTANDING!!!!! Thank you.............
I hope that you will continue to get more answers that lead you to your biological family. Also know that the family that you were raised in has your best interests and wanted more than anything to give "Happy Girl" a good life. You have a great deal of compassion and that is who you are as a person. No one gave that trait to you. Compassion, kindness, and being a peacemaker are the qualities that change the world! You will do that.
Really enjoyed this documentary... thank you for sharing your experiences and journey as an adoptee.
The music was written and composed by a fellow Korean adoptee. It spoke to me personally and it feels beautiful to me. With that said I know music is subjective. I do thank you for hearing her story.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore ah, sorry I ended up deleting my original comment before you replied. Although I did find iti a bit distracting to have so much music during the interviews, it doesn't detract from it overall. Great piece!
Baby girl please don't think for one minutes that your biological parents didn't love you .it must of been the worst day of there life , and they loved you and wanted you to have more then what they could give you. And your adopted parents will be happy as long as your happy .just know your birth parents love you and I'm sure they think of you everyday and pray they made the right decision for you .
I hope you are doing great now. You deserve it
She said everything that I'm feeling
This was awesome to watch how this young gal handled this, but wish the music was not playing so loud.
I wish I could've seen this documentary when it played at the festival I didn't even know there was such a festival (I live in MN too) It's weird because I became interested in my "roots" I guess you could say at a way younger age than most other KADs who I've met that already have their own families. And while it's not our job as adoptees to teach ourselves about our identities (should've been a given in the first place) the act of adoption unfortunately, often creates helpless circumstances where adoptees feel like they have no choice but to reject their birth cultures, especially in the teenage years. I want those adoptees to know that they don't have to feel that way, and the complexity of their identity is far more flexible than they imagine it to be. I feel the pain and I'm really touched that people share their stories like this.
+jpg jaehwan oops I didnt watch until the end my mistake but yeah, honestly I've never heard that name either but I guess I wouldn't know...being adopted...(I just ended up editing it)
Glad you saw this on TH-cam, and hope you've started looking into your "roots!"
the emotions come up because its your story, even though you weren't there and didnt directly experience it, those people and the events they lived through is part of DNA
What a darling baby you were and now a very beautiful young woman... You were sooo happy and your mamma loved you sooo dearly that day... So sweet!! And, what handsome brothers u have!!! It’s so refreshing to hear an adopteee thanking their parents, although I can understand why some would not feel that way... I so regret not adopting... We have Chinese best friends that were incredible people, and that is what draws me to your homeland. Plus, I really admire your country and the people who’ve been through so much and are so strong.... Blessings to u Happy Girl.. Always be happy. It’s a gift..
Your real adopted eternal Father in heaven yearns for you more than you can imagine❤️
This is a great video! Thank you to the authors of this video. Watch this documentary again th-cam.com/video/3fzOK3_Ps4A/w-d-xo.html .There, a little girl picks up a doll from an orphanage when they come to adopt her. This is such a touching scene! I was crying. Even children understand that a small child should not be abandoned...
What a lovely lady, I feel her pain being adopted myself. I was adopted in the country I live in now, so going from one culture to another is very complex. I wish her all the very best.
Thank you so much for watching her story.
45:45 Just a bit more information about Korean orphanages. It's a "family" business. Orphanages get per child stipends from the government. And the family usually hires family members. Like most things, there are good and bad ones. The good ones spend the stipends on the kids. And the bad ones will find a way to pocket the cash.
As heartbreaking as this was to watch I loved the bond/connection you had with the second woman...the fact that she got so emotional hurt my heart (in a good way) if that makes sense!! I pray you find your sister's someday...you're a beautiful brave young lady❣❣❣ Your mom gave you a wonderful name Happy Girl...💞💞💞
Kathy Eow Would you like to have pictures from your building in KSS? I have them and i was in this building we share. If you like to have them, to see what's inside, I could send them to you. I was like gasping she can't get in her building??? To see you making pictures of the outside of our building, really hit me in my heart. Very emotional to see. Must be very painfull for you, that moment, standing infront of a closed door. Thank you for sharing your KSS video. To me it was very emotional to watch. I went exactly through the same experience visiting KSS. KSS doesn't excist anymore. The buildings are totally gone. It is not possible for people to adopt South Korean kids anymore. Now there is a big board written "We are sorry we have made mistakes, we would love to have you back here in Korea. We will make it easy for you to come back" on it. Thank you.
Thanks so much for your post. I'll reach out to Kathy to make sure she sees this.
Nayia, Kathy would love to get the pictures you have. Please go ahead and email me through my adoption website and I'll connect you two at www.yoonmeichae.com/contact.html ! Thank you!
Hi shelby. At the moment i'm moving out to another place. My picture albums are in boxes at the moment and im very busy with stuff and boxes. As soon as i can reach out for the albums and upload them (cause those are pictures made by a undigital camera, 'cause its a while ago (i was 15 years old, now my age is 43) i will send them. It could take a while, but i won't forget to send the pictures to your email shelby so kathy will have the pictures. I'm feeling happy that i can give them to her her. those are not HD pictures, but at least she can take a look inside of her building. Yvw Shelby.
nayia nayia Thanks so much!
You are very welcome. Will take a look at the boxes and 8unpack them out of the boxes if i can. I dont want let her wait that much longer. Hope to send them this week
Hi Shelby, thank you for your beautiful documentary. As also a Korean Adoptee, I was right there with you as went through the different steps of trying to find your biological family. You articulated your feelings so well during your birth family search within the context of a complicated situation like transracial adoption from Korea in the 70s. I also was adopted in the 70s by very supportive, loving parents from Minnesota, which I'm truly grateful for. But like you, at the same time, when confronted with trying to take the steps to find my biological family in Seoul with little success, I uncovered deep feelings of sadness and loss that have been buried most of my life, as my focus was always on my present life in the US and "playing the hand" that I was dealt with. But as I've gotten older, I have realized the importance of trying to find that "center piece" of your life puzzle and filling in that "black hole" of a Korean adoptee's life (and I suppose of most adoptees' lives to a certain degree). You actually have more information than I do. Regarding biological family info, I really only have 2 things- my Korean name and birthdate. I was actually in Seoul 2 weeks ago, doing what you did, going to my orphanage and searching for more information. Nothing yet, but like you, I will keep searching...
Thank you so much for watching Kathy’s story and for sharing some of your own personal journey. Capturing these unique lived experiences of adoptees is my heart work. I hope you find some answers about your past. For me as a Korean international adoptee the search seems to never end. But I take breaks along the way.
Hi Shelby, thanks for you response. I'm sorry, I confused you with Kathy's story in the video you posted on your channel. Yes, my search is on-going too, until I find at least someone from my biological family, or have exhausted all available feasible options. I did DNA testing at a local police station when I was in Seoul and I'm in the process of doing DNA testing with 3 different DNA kits here in the US. Crossing my fingers that something will turn up... Thanks again for your moving documentary.
@@johna8947 no worries at all. Thank you for sharing more about your search. I hope you’ll be able to find some answers.
Thank you. I looked at your page. I wish you well in regaining your health and a full recovery.
@@johna8947 thank you so much! I hope I’ll be able to film more adoptee stories soon.
Cool! Just found this. You look so much like my sister! She is also adopted from South Korea. The baby picture I had to ask myself if this is my own sister 🤗
Children want and need loving nurturing parents/adults to protect and care for them in their formative years. They will seek this on their own instinctively until they are old enough to care for themselves. Then they have the wherewithal to go back and sort out the past and the pain that comes along with having to accept the burden of part of their childhood being robbed by the trauma of living in survival mode. Everyone questions who they are and why they’re here eventually. It starts at a different point for adoptees, that’s all. ❤
Any updates on Kathy's search for her sister? Really loved this documentary.
Thank you so much. I have kept in touch with Kathy and there haven't been any updates on her search.
Is there any legal avenue she can follow to get those birth dates?
Double whoa, was adopted by the same agency.
I'm a grown man and I was ready to cry every moment watching this. Damn it sucks they can't give her any info..😢😢
Thank you for watching her story.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore I wish there was a follow up or update on her.
@@kevinhenderson5520 she is doing well, but still no update on her search.
Thank you for sharing, I am Korean and so are my two adopted sisters. We are not from the same families. The worst part of my adoption by a white family with 2 adopted sisters, was no one, not my friends all through college or my family believed how bad the racism was. It was all in my "paranoid" head. My life was very hard, but and I clung to the friends that would accept me. My friends were loyal and great, but we all ended up in the drinking/drug scene.
It has been so hard to make to age 45 for sure.
Your birth country doesn't accept you, America doesn't either. Wtf is the defining saying for my life. I hope others in this day and age have it much better. I think they do...but I don't know.
They do... No doubt about it
I hope you don’t give up and Korea will be better to look for your family! I want to say I respect you and understand.
Thank you for watching her story.
i have noticed that most Korean biological parents doesn't want to be reunited with their children that gave them up.
Much lucky👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🥳🎈🇺🇸
I hope you find your sisters. You are a beautiful girl and God loves you. Rest is Jesus ask Him to help you find your mum and sisters, and He'll do it for you.
Sharda... Your comment is absolutely far away from correct, besides adoptees(if you don't have parents) are already children of the lord automaticly, free from judgement. This won't give birthparents back. This is the reason we are automaticly children of the lord.
When i went to Korea in 07 and went to KSS the meeting you had was pretty much the same as mine but the paperwork they gave me showed the date of birth for my parents i wonder why they did not give you that info. I hope you find you're sisters I`m still searching hopefully I will find them.
There are some odd things. If the social service agency has the information that her father has passed away, that's actually good enough information to find the remaining family members. I think she should have had a knowledgeable Korean guide for her visit. Because she was born in an hospital, the hospital, if it still exists, could still have her mother's ID number, name, birth date, etc. I would suggest that she try it again. She could at least find her sisters. Many things have changed since 2015. As an adoptee, she has the right to find her siblings.
You mention she should have had a knowledgeable Korean guide. That costs money. This is something the Korean government should provide at no cost if an adoptee searching wishes it. Adoptees and some adoptive families spend so much money on traveling to their country of origin to find connection and answers to their past. I don’t think people always realize that when they try and give advice about how to do something in a better way. So much of an adoptee’s search comes at a price tag in both the physical sense and emotional sense.
Your BEAUTIFUL don't worry about comments
its been almost 6 years, i hope she already found her sisters and mother
She hasn’t yet.
Feel very bad for her. I think a local org could have made it easier for her (adoptee non-profit).
Every person wants a story of their own about a life,
most of all one that has become Adoption.
You are Wonderful
When I watch the life stories of people like this and the traumas they were subjected to, I wish they could've lived here in Hawaii where being Asian or multi-racial is completely normal and positive.
Literally, it would have fixed 85% of our issues growing up.
I gave my adoptive families a "sob" story about wanting to fit in and be around Asian people and said I wanted to transfer to UH. While that was part of it, I wanted to live near the beach again, lol.
It was transformative. The funny part is I stuck out in Hawaii, but it was because of my mannerisms and no local accent. I definitely looked local though.
Best time of my life was my college time in Hawaii.
Excellent videos from this person making the video but LOWER ALL THE MUSIC PLEASE. thanks for listening.
I actually am not an editor. But over the years I’ve improved somewhat in that department. I hope you’ll check out my other videos. Maybe someday I will revisit this piece, if at some point I’ve been able to raise enough funds to hire an editor to do so. All of these videos have been funded by my own personal funds, along with my husband, mother and a few dear friends. Thank you for watching her story.
Whatever the reasons, u are very lucky to hv a good family.
I believe this is always for the adoptee to decide for themselves. It’s similar to someone telling an adoptee to be grateful.
My daughter was adopted from China. She's almost 21 now and away at school. I have always worried about racism but she has never shared that she's experienced it. I know she must have but hasn't related that to me. She's never seemed to be interested in China or Chinese culture that I know about. I would love for her to find her family if that's what she wants.
Thank you for watching Kathy’s story.
Have you asked your daughter these things? Or let her know your thoughts and that you are there to support her?
Her story makes my heart breaking.
I feel so sorry for her as a koreanㅠㅠ
I really hope that god bless KATHY very much.
Hi Kathy!!
All though my english is so poor and limited but if you visit to korea again let me invite you for a dinner. if you want it ok? I just hope that i show you ordinary korean house life because i'm ordinary korean 아줌마(azumma) 😅
Take care from civid and cheer up😊
Thank you so much for watching her story. I will make sure Kathy sees this message from you.
Can't find the article / video, but didn't the law change recently? I think a court case required more disclosure.
Korea has a family registry. It didn't just disappear and there should be relatives attached to the name / birthday.
Shelby is there an update here please?
Has Happy Girl had her DNA done to try and reconnect with her sisters ?
carolejander she has not found her sisters yet.
Regarding your adoptive father loves you truly, he was empathetic. I hope you are grateful. You could have been hungry, sick, and without things you needed. The love and care your adoptive was real. I hope you have found peace.
Why do so many people tell adoptees to be grateful? One can be grateful for the things they deem makes sense for them, but even feeling gratitude does not replace the trauma, grief and loss upon loss that also comes with adoption. Nor does the love from parents, being fed and given things replace those wounds and pains either. Just because adoptees express their true complex emotions, and often times conflicting emotions, about their personal experiences of being an adopted person, does not automatically mean they feel ungrateful. Two things can be true at once.
My personal feelings of adoption are both joy and grief, for one family had to be separated for another to be made.
I hope you’ll watch my Beyond Biological Series and learn from a trauma therapist who is woven through out the series of interviews that include adoptees, adoptive parents, social workers, a legal guardian and first mothers.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore I do apologize if my words offend you. It seems the young lady in question was building walls to keep from feeling the love her everyday parents have to offer.
Now that she knows she was 1 of 3 girls. If it were myself it would hurt me more to know I was the only one given up for adoption. I believe if she would practice being grateful and focused her efforts on the positives in her life she would. Feel better. Evidently I was incorrect in this instances o please forgive my lack of Aptitude.
@@wt1284 did you watch the full documentary and her last words, that she would choose a loving family. To me in documenting her story and in her thoughts and reflections that she vulnerably shares about, she has very deep love for her family.
I think in general telling anyone how they should feel about something and that it will make things better, will probably offend anyone.
As a recent survivor of stage three cancer and still undergoing aggressive treatment to try and keep the cancer from returning, because I also found out that I am BRCA2 positive, when people told me to stay positive, which is what I think you mean, to focus on the positive, it made things so much worse for me. Just like in adoption, sometimes you may feel overwhelming grief and pain, and it’s important that you honor that and not push it away, to be in the present. In both of my journeys of adoption and my cancer journey, there are ups and downs. It’s not realistic, nor healthy to try and stay positive all of the time, to push away those emotions of sadness and loss.
I understand your intention is to give advice to help someone out of their pain, but it can be such a trauma trigger to tell an adoptee even if you are a fellow adoptee to be grateful, or to tell a cancer patient to be positive. No one can really know what another person is going through, and what works for you, may not work for someone else.
I’m considering adopting when I get older.
I hope you’ll check out my Beyond Biological Series, Adoption Education Series, and Kindred Series, along with following other adult adoptees and their work in the foster care and adoption space.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore Thank you! I will! 😊
Malaysia 👏👏
Did you catch what the second lady said? She mentioned that your family name is Kim.
That's a very common name I'm afraid, 1 in 5 Koreans have that family name
You were a beautiful baby as all Asian babies are
EVERY child gets bullied by their peers at school for something. Your personality is the conflict avoiding type not necessarily because of your adoption status.
Felicity Ray Self I agree. Kids make fun of one another, but not all experience racism.
Shelby Redfield Kilgore still has nothing to with being adopted. Bring a not white family in a mostly white suburban area ... there will be racism...
LittleChena I'm confused by your statement. I was responding to Felicity Ray Self that I believe all kids can get bullied, but not all of them experience racism, as Kathy expressed she was experiencing in the film - racism. As far as avoiding conflict and being the peacekeeper, certainly not all adoptees are like that, but I think anyone that has gone through the trauma of being separated from a parent as a baby or young child, and is aware of that, like to keep everything copacetic so they don't experience the pain of rejection or separation because of a conflict. It could be a trigger and for some, they might try to avoid it all costs to their own detriment. I see it as a self defense mechanism for people that have experienced the loss of a parent as a baby or young child.
I can’t imagine what that must have felt like sitting there with valuable information right in front of you - about you - but not being able to get it. I understand, though, a govt needing to offer such protections to mothers so she’ll be comfortable formally relinquishing a child, as opposed to the horrific alternative. Still, it just seems so wrong for a person to be denied information about themselves. *The social svcs lady said there was some type of erroneous info on the mother that prevented her from being able to be located. I wonder what that likely was.
I am wondering if the Ancestry dna database had any matches for your dna? Wishing you luck to find your sisters =)
Thank you for watching her story.
Whoa, 9 minutes in and many curve balls thrown. Did not expect this when I started viewing it.
What is this girl’s name?
Side by side adoption interview
Thanks for sharing. It's been on my list to watch!
Nothing wrong with being the peacemaker
I think it’s more if it is at the expense of your own mental health. What is the reason behind the behavior? Is it a trauma response?
You'll find your sister , do a DNA Test ,and your sister got sister must feel like you do it's just a matter of time ask cece more she is a DNA specialist
Was she able to find her biological father grave? She is able to find that she be able to find her biological family.
Anna Perez I don’t believe she has yet.
With her parents' names and ages and her sisters' names and ages, they could be found if there is enough searching and publicity.
Marriage records, Death Records, seems like Social Services is incompetent in Korea.
Si. Lo vemos. En. España. Por qué. No. Se. Traduce. Gracias. ??????
All of these videos I film are from my own personal funds. So I hope one day I can afford to have all of them translated in different languages.
Why is date of birth a personal info that they cant disclose? I tell everyone when my bd is...
That music off
Does she look for her sisters?
Thanks so much for watching her story. I don’t have any updates about her adoption journey at this time. Only that I know she is doing well.
Did you find your birth mother and sisters?
She hasn’t yet.
She should sum it a DNA test with Ancestry. Maybe her sisters have.
Would be better without the music 😊
A Korean Adoptee composed this music. I was so grateful that he did this and personally loved his music. I am not an editor, so I did my best at the time several years ago now to work out the levels.
As a Korean adoptee myself. These films are my passion project that I do on the side when I can using my husband and I’s personal funds to create them.
I appreciate you bearing witness to Kathy’s story.
I am ashamed of my white skin blue eyes and light blonde hair because white racists have been so horribly cruel to people with more melanin in their skin and different facial features. Racism is hurting everyone in different ways. It is purely ridiculous. I am 59 yrd old and have fought against racism since I was a teen after moving from L.A. to Indiana.
Young lady you are beautiful inside and out. Im so sorry that people are so stupid.
Why doesn't she speak Korean.
Thereal GodessIsis why would she speak Korean? She wasn’t raised in a Korean family where they spoke Korean. And as a Korean adoptee myself I have never learned Korean. Learning a different language has never been something that comes easily to me. And it shouldn’t be expected of me to learn the language.
Do you still identify as gay?
If this adoptee had been a BOY, it is quite likely the parents, with extended family, may've found motivation, and the resources, to raise their male infant -- Instead, she had the misfortune of being a third, and female, child.
(In so many cultures in the world, the female is undervalued...Sadly!)
Though that notion invokes the contemplation to what degree, if any, grandparents were even in the picture....(In the 1970s, the Korean War was well in the past.)
When I was growing up, I was told this by other people, not my parents, thank goodness. But when I heard that I would always say my brother is also adopted from Korea and we are not biologically related. They’d counter and say how rare. It would always not sit well with me when people would bring this up and respond that way. As a kid I didn’t have the right language to express how I felt. I just mention this, because your comment triggered an emotional flashback.
It’s a generalization that does not paint all of the factors that may have led to a parent or parents’ decision in relinquishing their child for adoption. And to think just because I am a girl, that’s the only reason no one fought to keep me, is not true. As a child these sort of comments contributed to the lack of self worth I was already struggling with.
In Korea, years after the Korean War, the main reasons for international adoption changed. Even still to this day a large part of adoptions take place because of single, unwed mothers still being ostracized by society. And in all countries sometimes mothers are coerced or forced to lose their baby to adoption by family, societal pressure and/or law.
I hope you’ll watch YoonMee: Beyond Korea, my first episode in the Kismet Series about Korean International Adoption, and my Adoption Education Series.
I think in general you don’t see as many male adoptees speak about their experiences with adoption, because of the culture we live in. But that’s another conversation of how generally male and females are raised.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore While this may "trigger negative feelings," it is a brutal reality/truth that female babies are not as valued and sometimes, if not aborted, when live-birthed in rural areas are even put out to die.
As for present-day China, the male-to-female disparity is an estimated 28 - 32 million. India also has a great disparity.
It is quite apparent the adoption network valued and "fought to keep" you.
@@theelizabethan1 I’m not disagreeing with you that in many cultures, even here in the US it is very apparent that females
are seen as less than.
But people saying what you are saying to an adoptee, where they don’t have any idea if that is the reason or one of the reasons that factored into why the adoptee was adopted, should not be said or commented. Period. You are actively causing further harm to some adoptees by saying this, after I took the time to point this out to you.
Sorry Racism is not a person calling you names because that happens in your own race and culture.Racism is being denied jobs or housing and the same rights another group has.I also doubt at 5 months you had massive memories of Korea.I think you watch to much media rubbish.I met my birth family had a nice 3 hour chat and my life went on the difference now is I have more relatives.They are just related to me by blood it's my parents who raised me and loved me that are the only family I ever want and if you ever find your bio relatives I guarantee you will feel the same way.
Filmmaker here. Actually when people with in their own race put one another down, either because they are darker skinned, in a lower class, their religion, single mothers, how they dress... the list goes on in terms of how people somehow justify their prejudice, which is different than racism. The definition of racism is "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior." I can see where you're coming from when you talk about systemic institutional discrimination. But we have to remember the racist comments/ racial slurs are part of all that. Language is powerful, and racist people use that to put down others, with the intent to make them feel inferior, which is how they see them.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your own adoption story. But I have to disagree with you that any adoptee who meets their family, that they were separated from at birth, or as an older child, will not necessarily feel the same way you do. Everyone is unique and different, especially how similar experiences may affect people differently. Some kids who are bullied, may be more affected than others later in life. People who have been in wars, may experience PTSD differently, some may seem more well adjusted in life, and able to move on, others may not. I don't think it's fair to say in any similar scenario, that if you think or feel a certain way way, or were able to move past something similar, that anyone can, because we are all different.
Why do all of these oriental adopted kids romanticize their birth mothers? Are they really that naive to think that the reason they were left in a box or a church step was because their mother didn’t want to raise them? These women seem to think that their birth mom was this pure hearted lady of high moral fortitude who give up this baby? What about the chances that their mom was a drug user, or alcoholic, or a prostitute? Or a teen who was having sex with multiple partners and didn’t know who the father was., and the family told her to give up the baby or get out. Be REAL! These babies weren’t wanted, that’s why they were adopted by people who wanted a child, no matter what their background ? Grow up, get real, God Bless! Get some help and move on.
Michelle Parsons, the word oriental is offensive and racist. You can say oriental rug, for example. But you should never refer to a person as oriental. It's safe to say Asian, if you don't know if they are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, to name a few. I think it's very rare for a mother not wanting to raise her child, I think in many cases they do, but they feel they have no choice for a combination of reasons, where they live, they may live in a country where society shuns single mothers, and there is no support from family, friends or the government to help them raise their children. There are many reasons for a child to be relinquished. It's normal for adopted children to fantasize about their first parents. I hope that if you have experienced trauma, such as the trauma from adoption, or any kind of trauma, that has been difficult to overcome, and has become a lifelong journey for you, that the response from your loved ones isn't to, "Grow up, get real, God Bless! Get some help and move on." I'm sure that would anger you to no end on how to be told how you should feel and cope.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore Thank you...I was beyond ENRAGED by that insensitive comment as well!!
lol, why even write this comment?
I wrote some "harsh" comments to adoptees, but at least I've got some credentials as a fellow adoptee.