She knows how to play the system obviously, probably done worse too yet knows the key words and answers that will let her carry on. Whoever allowed that to happen should be fired.
@@Rhythm_Haruka46 Yeah, I had a friend in grade school whose Mom abused her and her other siblings. The father only got custody of my friend, and none of her siblings.
Yep it's true, when I was in 2nd grade and my sister who was 4 years younger were home while my mom OD'd CPS took us until family could fly over to get us. We were expected to go to school the next day but I wasn't having it.
Happened with 2 of my pets passing away. One of those was right before the last week of school. I watched my dog while she took a lethal injection, because I didn't want to look back and regret not being there for her. I then carried her body into my dad's truck in a body bag. It still hurts
3:16 Thats absolutely vile. At a very young age I was taking away from my mother by CPS. They deemed her a danger to me because my biological father was an abuser, so therefore she must be as well (she did nothing but protect me from that asswipe). She got me back 2 years later, but not being with my mother for those crucial years developmentally has really messed me up. The fact that CPS, with all the evidence against the woman in that story, didn’t take her away from her son, is absolutely disgraceful to people like me, who were taken away for much less. I hope that boy, against all odds, was able to push past everything that happened to him.
was your mom and dad in the same house when cps was involved? i’m asking because i’m going through something similar in regards to the other parent being abusive to our kid
@@dazesyd1375 I don’t believe so. One factor could have been that several people close to her went against her in court, believing that she didn’t leave him soon enough and endangered me in the process.
@@dazesyd1375 im afraid not,just my mum. I hope things work out in your favor with this- and if it doesnt, i hope you find some peace with whatever the outcome may be.
I was what most would consider to be a "quiet antisocial nerd" in school. I never had a friend group larger than 1-2 people, and never grew out of calling all of my friends my best friend. That was until highschool. Freshman year I made a new friend, and he and I just clicked instantly. We loved the same books, the same games, the same subjects in school, and wanted to go into the same carrier field. We even talked about opening a company together. Fast forward to the following year, and he and I don't share classes anymore, but we are still in the same homeroom so I still see and chat with him daily. One day in mid November, he tells me and another one of his friends who is in the same homeroom that he had attempted to end himself over the weekend. I didn't pry as to why, but instead focused on trying to think of ways to get him not to do it again, and I remembered something my sister who also struggled with self harm told me, which was to draw something on your arm to remind yourself of the people who you would leave behind if you died. We decided to do that with the souls from undertale (the game had just came out that year so we were hugely into it) and I even stole a marker from one of my teachers to draw mine. But then fall break came, and on the first day back they announced over the speakers that he was gone. I didn't even hear the full announcement as when I heard his first name I just blacked out the rest of it and went through my day hoping it wasn't him. Reality, unfortunately, did not care about my hopes, and when it came time for homeroom I nervously asked where he was, and was told he really was gone. Something in me broke for a moment, as rather than crying or sobbing I simply laughed at the irony that me and my sister's best friends had both ended themselves exactly one year apart from each other. I still remember the worst part was going to the counselor's office to call my mother to tell her and maybe get some kind of sympathy for suffering such a terrible loss only for her to tell me that she thought I was lying about being friends with the student to get out of class, because I had never told her about him. That honestly shocked me out of any emotions I felt about what had happened, and I honestly don't think I have ever processed the grief I felt. You may be glad to at least know that I have cut my mother out of my life now. Sorry if this is hard to read, youtube comments aren't very friendly when it comes to formatting, and I am trying to write from memories from almost 5 years ago.
The formatting is fine. I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're at least in a better place now that you're away from your mother, and I hope you chase your dreams in honor of your friend.
It wasn't hard to read because of the formatting, but because of the content. That is absolutely horrible, and I'm so sorry that you went through that.
We bottle it up and then, when we go to see our own therapists once a week, we pour our hearts out. We keep it together because we know our patient NEED us to keep it together so they don't feel the need to protect us from hearing the information, therefore keeping things to themselves as a consequence
@@Genni4862 True, I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists etc etc since I was like... 11 years old and most of them kind of made things much worse. Just a few years ago I finally found one that is actually helpful and actually understands what I need and I have made more progress in these few years than I have ever before (I struggle with major anxiety). I couldn't even go on this trip to our capital with my rehabilitation group when I was like 18, but last year (21yo) I was able to fly to another country basically across the world all by myself. And I just moved out a month ago too. Her impact along with better fitting madication and change in my living situation was so big, I'll forever be grateful to her 🥺💖
@@Anxious-Jay your comment made me tear up. I might just be a random internet stranger but I'm so so proud of you! Especially for giving therapy another chance! I had the same experience as you and finally found a good one now :)
I think it’s ok if therapists occasionally cry in front of their clients. It can feel validating to know that someone cares, and that yes a bad thing really did happen-no matter how much your family says it’s no big deal.
18:26 Like the teacher who posted, I have heard multiple horrors during my many years of teaching high school. Abuse, sexual assaults, drug-addicted parents, you name it, and in any combination you can imagine. At a certain point I had to realize that I simply couldn't save kids, but I sure as hell could give them a safe space, snacks included, to talk. I now give "grandma hugs" to those who ask (almost always girls) at my wonderful little rural high school. I can only hope and pray that I never gave a child the impression I didn't care.
From one perspective this is ‘all you can do’, but from another perspective it is everything that some could never do. Those kids need(ed) you, and you unfailingly showed the hell up for them. I’m thankful for them having a teacher like you - Grandma hugs can solve a lot more than we think, haha.
I couldn't get past story 4. That poor kid. CPS failed him. I hope somehow that he got away from that horror show of a mom. No wonder he had issues, that kind of abuse fucking messes with you. It's been 24 years since I was abused by someone significantly older than me and I STILL tense up and go nonverbal at any feeling or emotion that reminds me of that day.
That woman in the hospital is disgusting, she knows how to play the system and knows every trick to get away with it, maybe worse. I bet if a man did that, he’d be in prison no questions asked and never allowed near a kid again. That’s how disgusting it is.
i hope the dad sues for custody. although the downright idiotic cps worker isn't making it easier. except - show the family court judge and i bet they'd overrule cps. holy buckets.
@@maranathaschraag5757 They’d probably take into account the “child’s” needs and side with that vile woman, she’s managed to fool them before so she can do it again.
Nope. If a man did this, just the social outcry would change, he'd still have a high chance of never seeing prison or even losing his job. That's how fucked the system is. Female predators definitely have it easier though.
As a foster parent, I’ll say the second hand trauma foster parents experience is intense. We have to help children process and regulate after DCF forces them to have visitations with their abusers. We have to build trust with them, but we can’t do anything to prevent them from going to these mandatory visitations that only perpetuate their trauma. The system is so messed up. I recently closed my license because I was unwilling to be complicit in the system anymore. I’m now actively working on child advocacy efforts to create legislation that puts children’s best interest first.
Not a foster parent, but I think I understand your pain somewhat. My family took in the daughter of a long time friend one year, after the teen asked police to bring her to us (I was her primary babysitter and a second mom to her). Her mom had hit her after another brutal verbal battle and she’d had enough. She was with us for 5 months, only seeing her mom for brief times with us present. Her social worker came one day when my parents were in another province for 2 weeks. I was not the legal guardian and had no right to be present so I had to listen from another room. The worker told this 14 year old that if they didn’t return to their mom that the mom would hurt herself. From day one the authorities only cared about the mom’s wellbeing…it took almost 2 months before they talked to the young girl. So she was forced to go back for a weekend. When she returned…she was gone. Everything she had been was gone and there was a new person in her body. No joy, no life, no hope…just anger and resentment. She moved back with her mom right after that weekend. I still mourn for the sweet girl I helped raise. We have no contact anymore and that is best as what she became was a bitter shell of what I had known. My only solace was her one goal seemed to be to make her mother’s life hell for forcing her back. And she achieved that. Thankfully she also has been able to make an ok life for herself. I will never forgive child services for what they did.
My mom used to work for CPS. Thank you for all you did and are now doing for children's rights. The system has some huge flaws and hurts a lot of people.
@@gdtestqueenI'm currently studying to be a social worker and this... this is just insane. It's literally one of the first things we learn in psychology (though you don't even need to be taught this sentiment ) that it's an absolute no-go what this Social Worker did. It's literally parentification, as in putting the child into a position where they have to be the caregiver to their adult parent. I'm so sorry that happened to that girl and you.
Grief is odd. During the crisis event I will be as calm and composed as normal. Even for a bit after I remain feeling normal. It's only after all the dust has settled that things sink in for me and it all comes crashing down. For me, grief is a delayed response, but I like it that way because it allows me to help others while things are hardest.
I’m the same way. My father in law fell in his home and passed away. When we went to his house, there was blood everywhere. My husband is extremely blood phobic, so I cleaned everything up. Afterwards, cleaned his house, helped my husband deal with all the death certificate stuff, closing accounts, etc. A few months later, I saw a pen from a granite company in a town near where my father in law lived. He had granite counters, so I figured that was the company he used to install his granite counters. And then I found myself crying over a pen.
I am the same way. I spend a lot of time imagining the worst case scenarios so when they happen, I typically am calm. It's when you're alone, at night, thinking, that those feelings creep in
My mom was seggually abusive. Its fucked how people dont think women can be perpetrators. People dont believe kids, they hear "but she's your mother " and these women go on to do so much damage, and not to just their kids.
There are plenty of women who are toxic...evil.. psychopaths, sociopaths...and they abuse in every form.... Iam so very sorry for what happened to you ❤
People who downplay abuse need their heads read. Abuse is abuse. Your relationship to the perpetrator, whether stranger, intimate partner or family member, is irrelevant to how you are entitled to feel about the abuse and the abuser.
CPS does 3 things- pick the wrong parent during custody battles, punish poor parents, and ignore actual abuse. This is why any time I see an Amber Alert and find out a parent took their kid and ghosted after a court battle removed their parental rights...I ignore it. Everyone should.
My late husband and I had a conversation one time that basically went, “Well, we’re having to pay $100 per therapy session now that you got disability.” “Well, I think it’s worth it; I think it helps me.” “Hey, if you think it’s helping you, we have the money; no problem, you can keep going. I think my therapist is helping me to, even though it’s kinda inconvenient for me to go.” “Well, if you think your therapist is helping you, I want you to go; I can watch the kids!”. Damn, I miss that man… (he died of esophageal cancer, due to decades of poorly treated acid reflux) 🥺
I don’t want to sound insensitive but how do you know if you have untreated acid reflux? I have it a lot and take tums or other antacids when I get it so now I’m worried of developing that type of cancer.
OP said "poorly treated", so I'm assuming they mean without the proper amount of antacids? I also do not mean to be insensitive btw, to anyone here. I'm not a doctor so idk, but that's just my best guess? If you have concerns about that though I would recommend asking a doctor.
@@WeabooScourgeKillerYeah, I have god awful acid reflux. Im on medical grade Omeprazole and ondanstron cause of it. I would ask your doctor about it, TH-cam and Google don't make good doctors 😅
Not a therapist, but ... I had a classmate when I was in high school who was clearly suffering from some sort of mental illness. He would have frequent flare-ups during class and would go out into the hallway to calm down. If you were within a few classrooms of him and paid enough attention, you could hear him in the background, but most people ignored him. I didn't, though. I sat with him at lunch and listened to him ramble while quietly eating, most days. We had a 'weird kids' table and I was part of it, mostly due to being autistic and 'off-putting'. Still, one day I found him in the hallway on my way back from the bathroom, having a full blown meltdown to the point where he didn't even register me being there or talking to him. Once I figured that out, I ended up hugging him and gently reassuring him through it, not sure if he even knew who I was or what was going on. In my memory we were like that for a long time but at most it must've been five, maybe ten minutes or so of him just incoherently yelling and ranting and crying. Eventually some of the faculty showed up, including one of his parents, and took him away. I was given permission to take a moment before heading back to my class, which I did. It was rattling knowing that someone I cared about, who on his good days was a funny and endearing guy, could drift that far from sanity and not come back down from it on his own. We were good friends throughout all of high school, even on his bad days, and he admitted to me once that he was afraid of himself. He never hurt me or anyone else, but sometimes he'd bite at his hands or arms with such a vengeance that it was horrific to watch. I can only hope that now, a decade later, he's still doing well and getting the help he needs. I lost contact with a lot of school friends but I'll never forget that look in his eyes, it was like he was on a different planet completely. I never knew what exactly was going on, but I hope that I was a positive influence in his life.
My parents' neighbour is a social worker. Every Christmas she sends a letter to my parents and they are...something. Her first sentence is always about how drunk she is while writing it. Then its just two pages of bitching about how her kids are losers and not going anywhere in life, how many car accidents they caused in the past year and how expensive it is to pay for their insurance, and other lovely sentiments. Its not just her kids either; her last letter expressed how fat her husband has gotten and how she wishes he gets paid more as a tire shop manager. I bet her job is tough, but bashing your family to your neighbours around the supposed "happiest time of the year" seems like a bad coping mechanism.
Social Worker Student here, unfortunately the field attracts both highly empathic people and highly manipulative/shitty people. That and the fact that it's a highly stressful and emotionally draining job. Doesn't make it any better but it's an unfortunate truth that some SWs spiral after time.
It sounds like she's really been going through it. Those are probably the least of her grievances. Of course it's not right nor proper of her to say such things, especially to a neighbor, but I'd say give her some grace. I hope someone can help her get back on track.
Story 12. Vet here. I promise the guys that "lit up the bus" still have nightmares and CPTSD years later. Years after the fact, we can't admit the pain and hide it with laughter. Why do you think suicide is so high among war vets? If we talk about it we are monsters and if we ask for help the therapists cant handle it!
I really think a requirement is needed for veterans to be seen only by veterans if they opt for it when it comes to mental health. Far too many therapists can’t handle crisis without succumbing to their experiences and advocating for causes that harm because they’re reacting personally instead of objectively. It’s fucking hard but not impossible.
Well, it’s a month later, Happy Memorial Day. I just wanted to thank you for your service, the horrors and sacrifices that you make, physically, mentally, emotionally, for our country is monumetal. I have nothing but respect for you veterans. Just keep in mind, it wasn’t for nothing. I have a few family members that served in Vietnam and their story’s are truly haunting. Those who go through that are the strongest people on earth. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but just keep in mind that people love you
i truly appreciate your kindness and empathy. you telling me to do something to regulate my emotions and such.. it helps me more than just end of video kind of stuff. i genuinely struggle outside of the internet to take care of myself and do things i enjoy so your comments basically directing me to do so helps me on a bigger level. thank you
Same! It felt really refreshing honestly... I've been watching content like this basically as a way to distract myself from my own trauma (like in a, see, this is far worse so nothing to worry about- to myself) but i honestly know it's quite a bad distractor and so idk it was very comforting :,)
Depends how far you are down the road of just wanting to kill everything that moves, US military apparently very very much creates such things more or less on purpose.
UK primary (4-11yrs) school teacher. I trained in group therapy for children as part of my teaching career. In groups the children were learning to socialise and trust each other amongst other things, however it had the result that the kids in my group used to come to me to unload their trauma, their fear, their anger. It greatly shortened my time in teaching , i had my own issues with physical and mental health (and undiagnosed neurodiversity) and eventually it got to be too much.
That's too bad. I strongly believe that people who are offering help like this needs a strong support system as well. Otherwise burn out is just so expected of it
I work in elderly care. It's not therapy but it is very demanding. You see a lot of things. Having to have the quick thinking to try to keep someone alive while calling for an ambulance, dealing with those with dementia and confusion, having the risk of being hit on the job, among other things. Can be a lot sometimes.
@@jacobsalmi5582 to me, minimizing my own pain allows me to carry on and not identify with it. Because it doesn’t exactly go away. So the best I can do, is keep myself from becoming my pain.
I’ll never forget when my psych found out my assistance dog was killed in accident. She bawled when I told her the details of what happened. She said she hears the worst thing that happen to people everyday and is fine but hearing about what happened to my gorgeous boy who she loved so much to die such a horrific death really got her and she really struggled to do emdr with me to get over the trauma of the accident. I appreciated her honesty about the situation.
That's one good therapist, I'm glad you have such a good support there. I'm so sorry about your dog, that's one of my worst fears about my cat because I live on a busy street and she likes to try and get out. I know it's not the same, but I can't imagine how you feel right now and my heart hurts just reading this. I wish you the best
I’m behavior therapist. I work with kids that have a lot of aggression and “anger issues” and work on them using functional communication instead lashing out, like saying “can I have a break” instead of running out of the room or throwing a tantrum. One day I was dealing with a five year year old and for no particular reason that I could tell got out of his car walked into the building into the therapy room and put his head through the window. I was so stunned in the moment I thought he had thrown something out of it until i realized he was pulling his head out of the window and tried to rub his head, which I stopped but I was so panicked I couldn’t see if there was glass in his forehead (he was completely unharmed expect for a headache). There had been no warning signs or even vocalizations that he was upset. I hadn’t even turned on the lights in the rooms; that’s how quickly it happened. I panicked, holding his hands so he could touch the glass and called my coworkers to come check on him and went into my office and pulled myself together. After that we work 2 on 1 with him for a while in rooms without windows and I was pulled of the case for a few weeks. We also found out that he does this at home at lot but his mother had fail to tell us because he hadn’t broken any of the windows there.
Story 19: I can painfully relate to that one. Not what exactly happened to the girl and her friend, but for the teacher going far beyond his "job". For me it has been a little more than 20 years ago when my mathematics teacher intervened to help me when nobody else did. My parents were divorced, no contact with father. By now I know I have cPTSD from the abusive ways I was raised. When I was 15, my issues started to manifest in Anorexia. I was also depressed and self-harming. It was my teacher who reacted, who really "saw" me and send me to the school psychological service. I still don't know how long my mother would have waited to take me to a mental health professional, or if she would have done it at all. I desperately wanted her to do it (but felt like I could not ask for it). She was even angry at first (confirming my fear) because she has alwawys been very "private" and did not want anything "private" to leak out. It took me years of therapy to fully realise what that teacher had done for me. I still have very severe mental health issues and by now chronified ED. That does not change what the teacher did. As OP said "going the extra mile". It's sad that he apparently was more worried about my wellbeing than my own family. I actually contacted him, feeling the growing need to deeply thank him. It was not an easy step to do (me having AVPD definitely not helping in that), but I overcame my anxiety. He was thankful, understanding, and also sad that I still am struggling so much. But I feel extremely relieved that I finally let him know.
@bronyinsticks AVPD is short for Avoidant Personality Disorder. It's one of the anxious cluster Personality disorders (and may seem similar to Social Anxiety, but is not quite the same). One big issue is being very fearful of doing something wrong in relations with other people, pretty much allways seing worst case scenarios, being quick to think that you allways do wrong regardless of your actions and people will hate you/the situation will be awful.. Also having a very hard time taking decisions, completely stressing out over (for an outsider seemingly minor) things. Getting so fearful that you end up avoiding all sorts of things. And beat yourself up for that too. It's hard to explain in short. It meens you can stress out yourself with mental fights in your head that you end up getting physically ill from it. It's annoying. (But I'm glad I have the diagnosis)
If you're volunteering for a crisis line, you have my utmost respect. That is not for the feint of heart, the things you end up hearing, while being practically powerless on the other side of the phone.
I have a story, and it’s from when I was in 8th grade, only 13. I was nowhere near a therapist, I just knew a little about psychology because I have a huge interest in it and I thought it might help with what I had/have going on. I had a friend (E) who was suicidal, and whenever they felt like committing, they would text me and their partner (W). This happened multiple times, at least twice, probably more; E texted us and said something along the lines of “I can’t do this anymore, i don’t blame you, know it’s not your fault, I love you.” Myself and W would try to contact E and talk them down from it, also talking to each other to check up on who E was replying to. After a little bit of back-and-forth they would stop replying for a little while. Something would happen between W and E, I think they would call each other(?) and everything would be fine again. At some point during that year, E planned to run away from their home and told us about it. They refused to make a plan, contact anyone who could help, and even if they did, they would say only minimal information. They contacted us whenever they wanted and we were forced to reply in fear of what would happen to them. This, obviously, put a lot of stress on us, especially because W and I were both already dealing with our own mental health issues. I was never actually able to take a minute because I was constantly worried about E and what was happening to them. This entire situation gave me three panic attacks within 6 hours. Then, a few weeks later it was back to worrying about E and their problems, I barely paid attention to how this impacted me at all, the panic attacks were caused by the stress of dealing with that whole ordeal, and I barely got a two-day break from it. Anyway, sorry for the essay, thanks for reading this, I hope you have a wonderful day and by whatever deity you believe in if you don’t pay attention to your mental health I will make sure you do, dammit.
You sound like a great friend. I hope E is doing ok now aswell as you. I’m sorry you had to go through that stress. I’m actually at the hospital now for a failed attempt and have been for the past week, bored out of my mind. I’m 14 so yeah it can be tough around this age definitely.
@@randomperson8341 thank you, I try to be. Dealing with stressors and walking on eggshells for friends’ sensitivities can be difficult at times, but it’s totally worth it for good friends. I got medication for my anxiety and it’s helping a lot, not super sure about E, but I think they’re doing well.
@@randomperson8341 at this time, W and E are broken up and we’re not really friends anymore. W is still friends with them out of fear of what will happen to them, and I have distanced myself from E as well. (Just to clarify, W and I are still best friends, we both distanced from E).
@@Observed_Idiotyour situation sounds exactly like what i and my friend have been going through since we were 11, now 15. it doesn’t always get better and sometimes you do just have to let go unfortunately
to story 12, the one with the army: my best friend got deployed a few months back and it was literally the worst thing ever. He was always really loving, very kind and overall one of the happiest and most compassionate people i knew, no matter what life threw at him he always was seeing the positive sides of it. The army broke him completly, he was a shell of his former self, he was hating on "their enemies" bc the army LITERALLY brainwashed him. He knows that the cycle of revenge is just horrible and that it is also stupid and never will make anything better, but then he started to actually believing in it and wanted to avenge his friends that died (in gaza aswell). His wife literally wrote me (said to that: we never had contact before since she has rly bad social anxiety) and wrote that "her loving husband turned into this heart-broken empty body" and words never hit me harder. I was never confronted with anything war-related before that all happened and it destroyed me mentally seeing him like that, being scared and not knowing if he might have died while they did some training, if they got bombed or whatever. To that aswell: He nearly died last year bc of some medical problems, the fact that the army even deployed him is just plain up enraging (he wasnt in a good medical state at all and no actual doctor would have allowed him to go to the army!) - where its just enraging me how his homeland is handling that, its just irresponsible, they just deploy everyone and dont even care if they are in a state to be able to actually fight or if they would just go there and die. He was that exhausted from the training over the past 4 months, a week back he collapsed. He managed to wake up and is now recovering, they (the hospital) forbid him to go back for a month and that he has to rest - he now got a permit that allows him to not go back there, after his wife and me were begging him to get that. I was always kinda still behind him, accepting his descision, eventhough i think everything war-related is just beyond stupid (he got raised the way that war is sth kinda glorified and its sth good if u served for ur land), but after he collapsed i lost it. I also told him, that if he would go back, the next time he would collapse, he would not wake up and that i couldnt take that anymore, same with his wife. Her and i were just worried all of the time and we just didnt want to anymore, it was painful. It was 4 months of constant pain, where everyday just feels like hell and u dont know if he is still alive or not.. It was ultimately the thing that made him agree to getting the permit. (+ the way they were treated, didnt even get a day to rest, got the most disgusting stuff to eat [their teeth broke bc it was that hard or the got hot bell peppers with spicy cheese in them???] and literally nothing was done to actually get them in a healthy and strong shape, which would be smart for good soldiers, is just disgusting. the didnt only break them mentally but also physically, they were all super exhausted [they got no nutrients, so no energy so obviously they are + they werent properly provided with water or anything for hours while they were in the desert training for days and hours on end])
I was in foster care, and I was in a few very awful homes. I remember being locked in a basement with no lights at the earliest age of 2. Dcf did nothing even when I complained. Im lucky that I got adopted when I was 13 and got therapy. I had major trust issues and always found it hard to have anyone truly close to me. I can care for people but I will never expose my “true” self. Therapist said that I have a passive guard in my mind to keep people away. It’s kinda sad because I wish I could call my adopted parents mom and dad in person but I can’t. I could only imagine how those other kids in the system have been traumatized and broken they are.
My mom keeps, touching me weirdly, doesn't matter how many times I tell her to stop. She never does. And no one believes me because she's my mom. And even if they do believe me, they think it's completely normal and innocent. I'm so tired
okay, first. i'm so, so fucking sorry that's happening to you. as a victim of s/a, i know what it does to affect trust with people and your relationships with some. two. you need to reach out for help. not just suggesting that you can, no. you NEED to. if you can't call 911 then reach out to a friend or trusted family member-hell, even a teacher-and ask them to call for you. again, i hope you get the help you deserve and i hope that sick woman gets sentenced fairly. and the fact that people think it's normal is so fucking sickening. i'm so, so, so dearly sorry you've had to endure this for who the hell knows how long.
Even if it's just her hands on your back, you're allowed to set your own boundaries. For example, people with autism have sensitivities to touch and might not like being touched often. So, if you don't feel safe or heard when you're being touched, that is categorically wrong of your mom to do. For the people denying it's a problem. Ask them if you can demonstrate. If they say, no, say, well my mom never responds to when I say, no; how would you feel if I did it anyway? You might make a little progress that way, but those people are only "half safe", meaning not actually safe, but maybe safer than your mom. Getting help is hard to do depending on where you are. Instead you can also just not be around. Take up more school activities, do extra projects with teachers and so on. You can take some of your life back even if you can't take it all back.
Idk what to say. My heart goes out to you! That sounds horrible. Do what the above person said and try to seek help from someone. There are caring people out there.
wait, if a parent kisses, hugs and those kind of stuff all the time when i dont feel comfortable to and have clarified i want to stop, it is s/a? /genq
Im not a therapist, however despite my own mental health struggles i have always tried to be there for others, sometimes to my own detriment. I can no longer count the number of times on two hands that i have talked someone down from ending their own life or been the shoulder to cry on when someone was grieving. But like i said, im not a therapist, im not trained, and im not mentally healthy myself. I know i need therapy for a multitude of reasons, but unfortunately it is really hard to get if you can’t pay for it where i live. What i can say is, if you are going through something, please talk to someone, and reach out for help, there are people who care.
People who don’t deal with violence and the sheer depravity of what humans are capable of don’t realize how messed up those who do are. You HAVE to dissociate with the horror or you’ll break your mind. Those cops at the conference weren’t being callous just because. The job and what they see every day has just desensitized them. It’s a coping mechanism.
CPS sucks. ive delt with them more times than i can count. i was abused and assaulted for years of my life but still, to this day i have been see as a liar to all my friends, family, and even past therapists. there were so many CPS calls to come get me over the years that they just STOPPED showing up. freshmen year was my last year in school due to my trauma, i couldn’t go more than 30 minutes in a classroom without breaking down. one time in happened the counselor helped me and i admitted everything to her. she called CPS but they never came. she called again and again and again over the 2 months i was there and not once did they come. ive had police break down my bedroom door because i locked myself in there since i didnt feel safe around my family, they saw it as me probably in there by myself doing drugs or drinking and being a rebellious kid. ive had paramedics refuse to take me to the hospital because i was “causing too many problems” (i was curled up in my closet sobbing and having a flashback) i still deal with the trauma of these instances every single day of my life and i can only pray ill live to 18 when im finally able to leave my house and never see my family again.
Young friend… I have not been in your exact shoes, but all I can say is… I know CPS is terrible. I know your family situation is not ideal. Hang in there. Find something at school that you can dive into. Something your family cannot take away from you. Keep that set of cards tightly against you. Make sure they don’t know about it. If it’s a subject, you love? Study it at the school library. I promise… You will be able to make it through. 🫂 💜 💚
As a social worker and clinical therapist at a community health agency, it is a very emotionally stressful job. I’ve had days that I needed to sit in my car and take a moment to process it. Secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue and burn out are VERY real. Self care and grounding is SO important ❤️
teachers are so important. When i was 16-17 i was being rushed back and forth to the hospital being tested for lymphatic cancer. this was on top of already poor mental health including passive suicidal tendencies, exam stress and then covid lockdowns. I remember one day we were being asked about plans for the future and all my classmates were bright and happy(this was precovid) and when it got to me i just broke. Covered in bruises and bandages from hospital examinations , I could not imagine myself living past the age of 20 let alone going to uni or starting a career. I went outside the class and just sobbed. My drama teacher just hugged me as if I were her own daughter until i cried myself clean, she did cry tho bless her. My teachers (mostly) gave me a lot of support. A few even gave me little gift packets with chocolates and cards xx (Although fuck my history teacher that berated me for not handing in an essay in front of the class despite me telling her i had been in the hospital) Fast forward and im nearly 22 and doing alot better. A diagnosis of Castlemans disease with regular checkups and a c-ptsd diagnosis. I still struggle with this trauma but life is moving forward. Im doing a foundation course currently and will be applying to university next year:). Thank you to all the teachers who actually care about your students xxxx
I feel like regarding the cops and soldiers stories that they are so calloused after years on the job and the messed up stuff they had seen that they don't even think about the stories they tell as horrible because everyone else around them is used to hearing horrible stories like that and just have to brush them off or use humor as a way to deal with the messed up situations they see/saw everyday. My mom works for animal control in a large city and see so many abuse/cruelty cases that she doesn't even think twice about telling us the messed up stories about her work days. I grew up listening to this and have known the horrors other people don't wanna know about the worst animal abuse cases, but no longer think anything of it. It was actually weird hearing other people talk about "evil pet owners" and the supposed abuse on their animals, when in reality it's actually about as mild as it gets. I also used to get in trouble by others for knowing a "little too much" about animal fighting rings cause I've heard stories about them growing up and think nothing of it while others are horrified by it. I once did an animal presentation about animal abuse for a college class and even gave a disclaimer and even made sure the pictures used were not too horrific or showed any gore, but was still stopped halfway through by the teacher cause I accidently made half the class cry and several others nauseated just from my facts. Still got an A though.
This. Once posted a picture of a dead abused child during a discord chat with friend and was like, "Guess what the parents' excuse was? the boy fell off the bed. Such BS, right?" Response I got was, "Hey, please don't post a dead, brutalized child on here." And then it hit me... other people aren't used to that kind of thing.
My mom worked for CPS, so I kinda got the same experience of her telling me everything and me growing desensitized to it. When the 8 Passengers family vlog trial notes were released, I was really surprised that a lot of youtubers were actually breaking down crying on camera reading about what all had happened, because I'd heard worse every day since I was like 11. It feels weird in a way, being the only one in a friend group who's known for being "the most chill" about the most horrific acts committed by mankind
As someone who struggles and thinks about their sense of empathy a lot, I don't know which would be worse as a soldier, living with a culled sense of empathy, or living with the pain it would bring you for what you've done. PTSD, or a cold sociopathy.
It's something a majority if combat vets struggle with. Especially reconciling morality once out of the service. It's part of why suicide rates are so high.
I was in therapy once, now I aim to become a trauma therapist because of that guy that helped. If not for him, I honestly would've killed myself. Now I wanna be a therapist and help other people get through the bad times like I had. We all could use some help.
One of my friends is a school counsellor and I remember her telling me about this time when she had to inform two students from her school that their father had been shot and killed because their mother was absolutely hysterical and unable to tell them herself.
With regards to the unempathetic cops... I personally know someone who fought in Ireland during the Troubles. He jokes about it now, but he hates bringing up the subject. It's his way of dealing with things, and I'd not be surprised if its the cops' way of dealing with things too.
I was confused the grief counselor having to go to the back room. I'm not a counselor, but a nurse in Germany and we are encouraged to cry with patients, if that's what it comes down to. Sharing emotions and showing that you actually care and generally just being human does help a lot more than throwing out typical phrases. Think a tight hug as opposed to "well, sorry for your loss. Gotta go now."
I have schizoaffective! I've never heard it mentioned before! Thankfully due to my mom being diagnosed, she advocated and fought for me to get the same treatment as her. I'm medicated and living my best life🕺
What makes me so mad about CPS is that when given evidence of abuse toward children, they say it’s okay and justified. Meanwhile someone can falsely accuse a family in my home state and even without evidence CPS swoops in and just takes the kid without question… why do they ignore the needy and take the kids who don’t need help?
Not a therapist, but was training to be one. The reason I never went through was because during that time, I was s*xually harassed by my mother and it just broke me. I knew I wouldn’t be able help anyone if I didn’t even have anyone to talk to about this. She’s always been a big part of my life so breaking away would’ve horrible, but just hearing her voice would make me flinch. I went onto coding and still haven’t told anyone yet.
When you are able to afford it, please, get a therapist so you can work throught your trauma. It can affect your quality of life in invisible ways. I hope you can find people in your that can comfort you and make you feel safe in the future. Good luck and safe travels.
@@zyrevelvrein2388 thank you, you don’t know how much your comment means to me. If you don’t mind I’m going to rant a little. I honestly sometimes doubt whether or not she harassed me and if it even affected me that way or if I was just blowing it out of proportion. I’d gone through s*xual assault before and she was the one there for me so I was able to heal and put it past me. When the incident with her occurred I was too confused and emotionally abused by her to do anything. Ever since I was young, if I was reluctant to do something she’d asked if I truly loved her if I couldn’t just do it for her? She’d never give up until I actually did the thing even if I reassured her I did love her. This time it was something I really didn’t want to do for her. I didn’t register it as harassment until a new friend at the time asked if I was okay with hugging which I’d usually would be, but I realized they asked it because I had flinched several times when someone came close to me. It hit even more when a friend of mine asked if I loved them when they needed to be consoled and the words were just lodged in my throat, feeling as though even if I did say it I’d have to do something for them to prove it. I’d always had a fear of affection due to my mothers emotional abuse, but at that time I was slowly coming to terms with it and actually allowed friends to come into my life. But after the incident the fear grew much worse, I have people around me and I feel pathetic for not being able to say anything. I am slowly building the savings and courage to talk to a professional, thank you again for just making me feel validated.
@@perrytheplate hey, I wanna say I am so glad that you are trying to build up savings to talk to a professional. lease never ever blame yourself and I am sure things will get better.Wishing you the best.
@@perrytheplate Honestly, this sounds horrifying. It does not seem like your mother should have ever have been a parent or caregiver, at any rate. Cut all ties as soon as you can, for you own safety, because if she's done it once… she [might] try again. The more independent you become, the more likely it is that she will try to regain control over you, you should take it as a sign that you are going into the right direction if you notice her doing that. I'd also recommend having the opinion of someone who knows you and wants you safe, friends are all that we have when things get tough and sometimes they can get us through a lot. Stay safe, there are people who care about you…
How dare you objectify mental health like this. Comments like this fill me with a deep seated rage. I don't know how on earth anyone could take this position. Nothing could cushion the blow because this joke really doesn't have a leg to stand on. Might wanna bench this one, OP, because it's not doing much to upholster your ego. Really rocking the boat, y'know, gotta be cafeful when your sense of humour runs hammock like that. Unless you want to tuffet out, idk, your call.
I once got super depressed in my Spanish class because I was experiencing a death and almost started crying in class. I kept saying that I don’t want to because I fear people would hate me for it, call me names, and laugh at me for crying. My teacher was confused but understanding that I was sad, so they gave me some time. She wanted me to draw a picture or write a note in case I didn’t want to talk about it. I drew a picture of what happened. She then gave me a note, because class ended saying “I’m so sorry” and I cried realizing how much they cared. I sent them an email apologizing for being not productive that day and they replied basically saying “It’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry” and wanted for me to feel better. I still cry about it.
yeah, just finished story 20. I think ima have to turn it off its taking a toll on me mentally. But I think its great that your raising some awareness about the absolute legends that are therapists
Actually re: story two, I used to know someone with a degree in psychology and apparently it's not unusual/unheard of for sexual advixe to be part of therapy. Obviously some people are specialized in relationships (or on the dark end, sexual abuse) but it's a pretty common human experience to seek intimacy and to have questions about how to get it, why it's not going well, etc so sexual troubles can indeed be a topic of therapy ahaha
I'm not a mental health professional, but I've helped a lot of people in crisis. It hurts. You have to dig deep and use your empathy to help them, but this comes with a horrible emotional cost to yourself. I pay it gladly, because I know I have saved lives. Only once did I have to disengage, because it was hurting me too much; the person in question was self-destructing with drugs. Went from being on track to becoming a lawyer to failing out and becoming a felon within two years (two DUIs).
I’m honestly amazed that people can hear this stuff and not break down I worked in memory care and the amount of people who relived the worst moments of there life or cursed god for letting them live this long was enough to almost break me it was the old lady dieing in my arms as I got her dressed that made me step away from 14 years of it but I can’t only imagine what hearing peoples trauma everyday can do to you.
The woman who lost her baby reminded me of when my grandmother passed. The family knew it was coming as she'd been not eating much for a couple of days, when the call came that she'd passed my parents and I went to see her and it felt surreal. She had alzheimers and dimentia so it felt like for me that she'd already gone, the woman I knew from childhood had been gone for years at this point. I don't know how things will hit at the one year mark, but I'm not sure there will be tears.
What you said about how grief hits different people at different times and when it does you just need to take a minute and sit with it really resonated with me, so thank you if you ever see this. When I was in 7th grade my grandma died, and she and I had been pretty close in her last years, so it hit me like a truck. Not to mention the hormones that come with being 12 years old. Long story short I ended up running away from home at one point, and I intended to just leave and never come back, but I ended up just going to 7-11 and getting some candy, and then walking to my late grandmother's house to eat it and sob. It was probably one of the most important parts of my healing journey. I then calmly walked to my family's business where my aunt greeted me with so much relief. I was only gone for 2 hours, and it was hell for my family, but I really needed those 2 hours, I think.
13:07 they could have been like that beforehand. Armed forces don’t do extensive psych evaluations on recruits. They mostly just try to get them in as quickly as possible.
Therapists and first responders really don't get enough credit. It's also nice to watch a video right after it comes out and see the views and likes go up :) (8th comment)
When my mom passed from a heart attack, the first EMT that responded was my coworker's boyfriend. He had only been an EMT for a few months. He did everything he possibly could, but from what the physician told me, there wasn't any possibility of saving her. For some reason, knowing the victim was the mother of someone he knew messed him up. He went to the funeral. When he saw me he lost it. He kept crying and apologizing. Apparently, no one followed up with him to let him know my mother was gone before he even received the call. I felt so bad for him. All I could do was tell him it was never his fault. I have so much respect for first responders now.
Honestly, the hardest thing about doing this work is there are multiple 'I need a minute' moments and that they add up. The more there are, the harder it becomes to feel fully. The harder it becomes to feel fully, the harder it becomes to bring yourself fully to the work... and that's how we get horrible therapists and social workers who 'just don't care.' You can see yourself in this process and not know what to do because you have a choice between self-care and the paycheck you need to pay rent.
I remember when I was 14 I started seeing this girl, and during the 1 1/2 year of dating I felt very emotional drained and mentally from just having to talk to her every day. I think she had bpd (borderline personality disorder), and it took me a while to get the guts to end the relationship because I was scared she was going to do something to herself. I was only 14, and I wasn't trained to deal with situations like that, and it caused my mental health to become worse over time. I started to sh again after, and I avoided talking about my problems for a long time. Sometimes I still feel bad for doing what I did, but I think it was for the best
If you don't also want to be a psychiatrist then don't be a teacher. You're with those kids all day everyday. YOU are the responsible adult in charge and therefore when the student is in YOUR care you have a duty to do what's best for them and be connected.
I work at a snack bar that serves alcohol in a "family friendly" location. There was this girl, probably nine, definitely no older than ten, who sat at the bar while her parents and the other adults drank themselves silly. Not enough to not be able to walk straight, but enough where they had no inside voices or concept of where they were. I spent all that time with that poor girl, making sure she was having fun and not noticing her mother telling raunchy jokes to her friends. I still remember that girl, and I still feel a sinking pit in my stomach thinking about that mother.
Making humor out of something like that is a trauma response your brain has to do something with the traumatic stress your dealing with and it either breaks you or you’ll find it humorous
A very close friend of mine may have once had a therapist quit their job from the horrors she's been thru even as a child the first time she opened up to one so young, and then here I am meeting her like 10yrs later, same horrors and much more but her brain had buried most of it, and once she finally started to remember and felt safe enough to open up, I could handle every bit better than anyone else I've met so far, and I helped her any way I could even if all I could do was sit there over call witnessing her have panic attacks, ptsd episodes, periods of age regression, fights with her almost all bad mom, or tic episodes (she had Tourettes hiding under HEAVY medication for other things, and I got to finding out the medication she was taking was now just making things even worse so I convinced her to EVENTUALLY stop taking it all together bc she had no way of getting to a good enough doctor that could get the dosage of anything lowered). We used mostly verbal roleplay to help her process, confess, and heal, and a some of the stories we've made together I will be writing and posting on any different platform I can. I've been told I'd be a great therapist, and while I agree, I don't want to help people when I'm not allowed to help more than who and what I'm told to. That won't make a single dent of difference in the world even if I get 100 clients in a few years; nah, I'm doing more similar to what Citizen Soldier does, but isntead of music, it's with works of fiction and fanfiction with psycho/sociological & spiritual deep dives in them covering more than everything under the sun - in multiple media forms but mostly books & comics with visually & audibly illustrated versions later on for those who prefer to listen or watch. For anyone who's curious: Main few series' I'm working on at the moment are called Endless Battles (multi genere fiction), A Family To Call Home (Creepypasta, Marble Hornets, SCP Foundation, & Gravity Falls crossover fanficion with our own self inserts on the side in a mess of books connecting each other), Good Ol' Mr. Wilhelm (mainly historical fiction & dark fantasy saga), aaaaaand a Gravity Falls x Black Bullet(anime) crossover fanfic which is a Bill Cipher redemption story that is as dark as all these dark reddit stories combined, and EVEN MY MOM is willingly participating in the making of one or two of the chapters! Gonna be a favorite to write for sure, I hope I wasted no one's time with this, but this video has also given me inspiration to be a bit of a therapist in my own way and help thousands or millions in a single year one day, and maybe even help other therapists because I question whether they get the full proper training they need if they can't handle these horrors and worse that happen somewhere in the world every single day.
Yo! A fellow citizen soldier fan! 🤝 💜 person doing 🤸 🫂 absolutely love most of their stuff… Jake is an absolute angel! And I know someone like you… Best person I ever met. And… Someone else who does verbal role-play? I thought I was completely broken!
@@SarafinaSummers VERBAL ROLEPAYERS *UNIIIIITE* !!! 😤💪 And yes, Jake is such an angel, I got to take my friend to one of his acoustic concerts and we were THE FIRST to speak with him, and after seeing her stim, he said she made his day!! 😭💖
If i had the mentality i would really want to be a therapist, but im way too emotional for that and i just know I wouldnt be able to carry the burden ov everyones trauma 🙁 i think its admirable to see how therapists can change peoples lifes
I worked at an elementary school and a student with a rough background reported she wanted to unalive herself and had a plan to do it. She was in first grade. Also in college I had 3 friends try to unalive themselves within one month. None were successful thank goodness but one ended up staying with me for a week and had to check in with me every 3 hours to make sure he wouldn’t try again.
It’s been my dream since I was little to persue phycology, my sister has anxiety disorder adhd and ocd and ever since I was as young as 8 or 9 years old I remember calming her down in extreme panic attacks almost daily. I myself dealt with depression and adhd as a child. So phycology of children has always deeply interested me. I plan on going to school to study phycology and hope to help people like these therapists did.
Referring to story 12…my boyfriend is a marine, I’ve known him since before he signed the contract. He left for bootcamp during quarantine and didn’t come home until 2021 because they just kept coming up with excuses and when he got home he was completely a different person. Bootcamp and military training is absolutely brainwashing, however I still love him just as much as I did the day he left and I always will no matter how much he changes or grows ❤️
"I'm still a teacher and I've had to harden my heart and realize I can't help everyone" I've been teaching abroad for about 4 years and at this point I feel so under qualified for the amount of work that I do. And every time I vent/try to talk about with it others everyone is just so cold like "Well those aren't your children and there's nothing you can do right? So just save yourself" I mean yeah I get it, and my leadership is kinda in the same boat, I think we are in burn out with the sheer amount of children we get at our academy with ... "extra spice" but its so sad because these are elementary school kids going through like either legit adult problems, bullying/abuse at home or mental issues/challenges (idk how to say it properly so forgive me if thats wrong) and I feel ill equip to help them and it makes me sad. Plus the locals are just like "The kids are all little liars" I mean a few of them, ok maybe do it for attention but there's no way it's all of them. So many confess to graphic physical or mental punishments for simple mistakes, lack of performance or what I think would be fair to call normal child behavior. These days I have this boy that will rock back and forth in the fetal position. Or completely lose his shit over what I think could be consisted a simple thing (example, asked him to say "A" or "B" or use finger signals to signal 1 or 2 and if he just wasn't in the mood, there's tears, physical soothing attempts, etc). But yet Im just simply told to "keep going on with the class and just give him compliments" and idk I feel like Im hurting him by pushing him to continue... but thats my only choice if I want to stay in good graces at work.
The story about the mom molesting her son & the way CPS handled it is so similar to what happened with my stepson. It was obviously inherently s3xual conduct among 3 children under the age of 8 that my stepson recorded on his phone which he shouldn't even have. It was "investigated" & ruled as boys will be boys. Then it happened again at school. And again a few times at home. We can't get them to take us seriously & his mom is a paralegal so shes very skilled at playing the system. It makes me sick when CPS can't see whats black & white. When it comes to children there is NO gray area
Man i think im messed up in the head, im just listening to this on the background like its a podcast. And i wouldnt think thats weird if you werent constantly saying its heavy, and also that one time where you told the audience to take their time. Maybe all those years surrounded by depressed people did take a toll on me.
CPS makes no sense. Worthless agency. I was abused as a kid. The first time the school called CPS I was honest due to my child naivety. They didn't remove me, instead they did random house visits for a few months. In that time the abuse stopped, but once the case closed it started right back up and was even worse than before. The second time CPS was called by my step siblings grandparent when they visited their dad. I was singled out for abuse, not my siblings/step siblings. This time I said nothing, same thing, no removal just random house visits and mandatory classes/counseling for the adults. Case closed after a few months, same thing as before. CPS was called a third time by the after school day care, same thing.... When I was around 12 my mom met my step dad, got clean and was awarded visitation time. My step dad, the only adult with no obligation to me whatsoever, pretty much immediately caught on to what was happening. He pushed my mom to seek full custody and even paid for the lawyer. It was a GAL that finally set me free. She asked to speak with me alone. At first due to my prior experiences I said nothing. Then she reached out, touched my hand and said: "If you tell me what's going on, I will let you leave with your mom today" I believed her and told her everything. I got to live with my mom. Less than 6 months after I got to live with her my Step mom (the person that was abusing me, while my dad hid in a bottle and ignored it) cleared out the house and all of their bank accounts while my dad was at work and left him for his best friend.
I wonder if any of my therapists have had a moment like this about me. I've had at least 5 not counting the weeks and weeks of walk-ins when things just started. Knowing that you probably would call me dramatic considering the root is being bullied. Something incredibly normal.
“Locked him in a dog kennel and forced him to watch him murder his Mom” i need a few decades to recover from that and i wasnt even the one to experience that, my prayers go out to this boy and hopefully he will live a healthy and good life.
I was assaulted for years. The police and therapists did absolutely nothing because they believed that the abuse coming from a family member deemed it insignificant. All they came up with were "coping strategies".
I've experienced whatever the emotional equivalent of calluses are due to repeated threats of sui from my old friend group when i was 13/14. it burnt me out severely and it worsened my depression and caused me to isolate myself. and it's not that anyone had the intention of hurting me, its more so that everyone just really needed a shoulder to cry on, and i was the same way because i picked the behavior up from them. however on top of this, we also lashed out at each other a lot in response because it constantly felt like everyone was on the verge of dying and we just wanted it to stop. we needed a break. and telling someone that you feel this horrible is one thing, but despite all the pure intentions, it was told with such demand, so much "i am GOING to [do this]" that we felt like each other's lives were in our hands on a daily basis. it's later, actually just this year, that this kind of came back to haunt me when my ex boyfriend (before we were dating) had told me some of the things that his then-partner had been telling him, and how graphic their messages were expressing what they wanted to do to themselves, and afaik this happened almost on the daily. this is about half of what influenced me to tell him he needs to break up with them, because the whole situation reminded me of my 13/14 year old self and that friend group. i saw him break down over it once, because he had just been sent a message and read it while i was over, and he just burst into tears in my arms telling me he didn't know what to do anymore. it was really hard to watch. they stayed friends after breaking up, because even after all i told him, he still feels an obligation to be there for them knowing they have nobody else. now here is the bottomline of this comment: therapists are incredible. the good ones who have any shred of care for their job have a superpower and almost anyone in social work will forever be cherished for the piece of themselves that they sacrifice. that being said, do not let yourself turn into a therapist friend. please. not unless you have the stability for it. i am in a mostly happy household with a genuinely loving family, and i still ended up with some form of trauma that i was never really able to get fully checked out, and friends like i had at 13/14 are the reason why. even something so little as repeated threats of suicide, even with the best intentions, will still mess you up in some way. minds that young are still so delicate, you're not meant to be feeling like someone's life is in your hands at that age, you're supposed to be playing games with your friends and laughing over stupid memes you find online. please, don't let your innocence be lost to time because you feel the need to be a good friend. sometimes you have to drop everything and take the cruel way out in order to protect yourself, and it took me so long to learn that that is just fine. it's okay to leave a severely depressed person if you're starting to feel severely depressed yourself, only as a last resort, only when you feel like you can't do it anymore, only when you find yourself awake at night and breaking down when you can't check your phone to make sure everyone is okay because you got it taken from you by your guardian (true story). it's okay to leave then. you can't save everyone.
12:00 This story would be a good litmus test for qualifying to be a therapist. Like, if you hear that story and, like that particular therapist, you take from it that the vet doesn't have empathy, you should never be a therapist. ...Or just dark humor in general would be a good test. Like, you don't have to *like* dark humor, but if you can't grasp the concept of a good person who enjoys dark humor... That is just barely sticking one toe into the shallow end of the "minds are kinda complicated" pool. If that's the part of the pool where you start drowning, you shouldn't be a lifeguard.
y'know I wonder if the younger generation would be more desensitized to hearing this type of stuff (because the internet has shown us a lot of bs) and therefore able to better handle hearing such terrible things
That story about the kid in the restraints, yeah I believe it. Male victims and female perpetrators are not taken seriously at all. It's disgusting but we are not allowed to talk about it because we are all "privileged"
This one time I was telling my therapist about something that happened to me and she literally asked me if I was making it up, it was _that_ horrible/unbelievable.
Nah that story with the mom and the little boy made me sick the fact they saw nothing wrong
She knows how to play the system obviously, probably done worse too yet knows the key words and answers that will let her carry on. Whoever allowed that to happen should be fired.
That's a disgusting violation of the child
It's like no one takes women predators seriously. They do exist. It's sickening they get away with this.
@@maroontiger1361 Or when they don't, they get heavily reduced sentences. All because they are a woman (possibly has a child too, like this story)
@@Rhythm_Haruka46 Yeah, I had a friend in grade school whose Mom abused her and her other siblings. The father only got custody of my friend, and none of her siblings.
It's really fucked how kids can go through the worst shit then be expected to go to school the next day.
Yep it's true, when I was in 2nd grade and my sister who was 4 years younger were home while my mom OD'd CPS took us until family could fly over to get us. We were expected to go to school the next day but I wasn't having it.
real
Yeah uh, the adult version is having the worst thing ever happen to you then you have to go to the grocery store
@matt3606-o3l having the worst shit ever happen to you then having to go to work. Too obvious and kinda boring
Happened with 2 of my pets passing away. One of those was right before the last week of school. I watched my dog while she took a lethal injection, because I didn't want to look back and regret not being there for her. I then carried her body into my dad's truck in a body bag. It still hurts
3:16 Thats absolutely vile. At a very young age I was taking away from my mother by CPS. They deemed her a danger to me because my biological father was an abuser, so therefore she must be as well (she did nothing but protect me from that asswipe). She got me back 2 years later, but not being with my mother for those crucial years developmentally has really messed me up.
The fact that CPS, with all the evidence against the woman in that story, didn’t take her away from her son, is absolutely disgraceful to people like me, who were taken away for much less. I hope that boy, against all odds, was able to push past everything that happened to him.
I had the exact same experience. What is wrong with these people???
I’m so sorry you went through that. It should be disgraceful to anyone who heard/read that story,
was your mom and dad in the same house when cps was involved? i’m asking because i’m going through something similar in regards to the other parent being abusive to our kid
@@dazesyd1375 I don’t believe so. One factor could have been that several people close to her went against her in court, believing that she didn’t leave him soon enough and endangered me in the process.
@@dazesyd1375 im afraid not,just my mum. I hope things work out in your favor with this- and if it doesnt, i hope you find some peace with whatever the outcome may be.
I was what most would consider to be a "quiet antisocial nerd" in school. I never had a friend group larger than 1-2 people, and never grew out of calling all of my friends my best friend. That was until highschool. Freshman year I made a new friend, and he and I just clicked instantly. We loved the same books, the same games, the same subjects in school, and wanted to go into the same carrier field. We even talked about opening a company together. Fast forward to the following year, and he and I don't share classes anymore, but we are still in the same homeroom so I still see and chat with him daily.
One day in mid November, he tells me and another one of his friends who is in the same homeroom that he had attempted to end himself over the weekend. I didn't pry as to why, but instead focused on trying to think of ways to get him not to do it again, and I remembered something my sister who also struggled with self harm told me, which was to draw something on your arm to remind yourself of the people who you would leave behind if you died. We decided to do that with the souls from undertale (the game had just came out that year so we were hugely into it) and I even stole a marker from one of my teachers to draw mine.
But then fall break came, and on the first day back they announced over the speakers that he was gone. I didn't even hear the full announcement as when I heard his first name I just blacked out the rest of it and went through my day hoping it wasn't him. Reality, unfortunately, did not care about my hopes, and when it came time for homeroom I nervously asked where he was, and was told he really was gone. Something in me broke for a moment, as rather than crying or sobbing I simply laughed at the irony that me and my sister's best friends had both ended themselves exactly one year apart from each other. I still remember the worst part was going to the counselor's office to call my mother to tell her and maybe get some kind of sympathy for suffering such a terrible loss only for her to tell me that she thought I was lying about being friends with the student to get out of class, because I had never told her about him. That honestly shocked me out of any emotions I felt about what had happened, and I honestly don't think I have ever processed the grief I felt. You may be glad to at least know that I have cut my mother out of my life now.
Sorry if this is hard to read, youtube comments aren't very friendly when it comes to formatting, and I am trying to write from memories from almost 5 years ago.
My mother wasn't very empathetic, either. It's not right for people to make light of someone else's grief. I'm so sorry you went through that.
The formatting is fine. I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're at least in a better place now that you're away from your mother, and I hope you chase your dreams in honor of your friend.
@@rwbyab7423 I just got accepted into college for a game development degree. The dream is still going strong.
It wasn't hard to read because of the formatting, but because of the content. That is absolutely horrible, and I'm so sorry that you went through that.
Can relate. My mother would have reacted similarly. Some parents don't deserve kids.
Respect to all therapists, don’t know how they don’t break down and cry after hearing some of these stories
Not all. Trust me, not all deserve respect. I've seen many, and quite a few are hurting far more than they're helping.
We bottle it up and then, when we go to see our own therapists once a week, we pour our hearts out. We keep it together because we know our patient NEED us to keep it together so they don't feel the need to protect us from hearing the information, therefore keeping things to themselves as a consequence
@@Genni4862 True, I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists etc etc since I was like... 11 years old and most of them kind of made things much worse. Just a few years ago I finally found one that is actually helpful and actually understands what I need and I have made more progress in these few years than I have ever before (I struggle with major anxiety).
I couldn't even go on this trip to our capital with my rehabilitation group when I was like 18, but last year (21yo) I was able to fly to another country basically across the world all by myself. And I just moved out a month ago too. Her impact along with better fitting madication and change in my living situation was so big, I'll forever be grateful to her 🥺💖
@@Anxious-Jay your comment made me tear up. I might just be a random internet stranger but I'm so so proud of you!
Especially for giving therapy another chance! I had the same experience as you and finally found a good one now :)
I think it’s ok if therapists occasionally cry in front of their clients. It can feel validating to know that someone cares, and that yes a bad thing really did happen-no matter how much your family says it’s no big deal.
18:26 Like the teacher who posted, I have heard multiple horrors during my many years of teaching high school. Abuse, sexual assaults, drug-addicted parents, you name it, and in any combination you can imagine. At a certain point I had to realize that I simply couldn't save kids, but I sure as hell could give them a safe space, snacks included, to talk. I now give "grandma hugs" to those who ask (almost always girls) at my wonderful little rural high school. I can only hope and pray that I never gave a child the impression I didn't care.
From one perspective this is ‘all you can do’, but from another perspective it is everything that some could never do.
Those kids need(ed) you, and you unfailingly showed the hell up for them. I’m thankful for them having a teacher like you - Grandma hugs can solve a lot more than we think, haha.
Thank you, those hugs mean more than you know
You are a genuine Angel. Thank you.
I couldn't get past story 4. That poor kid. CPS failed him. I hope somehow that he got away from that horror show of a mom. No wonder he had issues, that kind of abuse fucking messes with you. It's been 24 years since I was abused by someone significantly older than me and I STILL tense up and go nonverbal at any feeling or emotion that reminds me of that day.
That woman in the hospital is disgusting, she knows how to play the system and knows every trick to get away with it, maybe worse. I bet if a man did that, he’d be in prison no questions asked and never allowed near a kid again. That’s how disgusting it is.
i hope the dad sues for custody. although the downright idiotic cps worker isn't making it easier. except - show the family court judge and i bet they'd overrule cps. holy buckets.
@@maranathaschraag5757 They’d probably take into account the “child’s” needs and side with that vile woman, she’s managed to fool them before so she can do it again.
@@maranathaschraag5757 nah, they’d see the “child’s” needs and let the “mother” keep the poor guy.
Not true. Men can do the same. I heard horrible stories.
Nope. If a man did this, just the social outcry would change, he'd still have a high chance of never seeing prison or even losing his job. That's how fucked the system is. Female predators definitely have it easier though.
As a foster parent, I’ll say the second hand trauma foster parents experience is intense. We have to help children process and regulate after DCF forces them to have visitations with their abusers. We have to build trust with them, but we can’t do anything to prevent them from going to these mandatory visitations that only perpetuate their trauma. The system is so messed up. I recently closed my license because I was unwilling to be complicit in the system anymore. I’m now actively working on child advocacy efforts to create legislation that puts children’s best interest first.
Not a foster parent, but I think I understand your pain somewhat. My family took in the daughter of a long time friend one year, after the teen asked police to bring her to us (I was her primary babysitter and a second mom to her). Her mom had hit her after another brutal verbal battle and she’d had enough.
She was with us for 5 months, only seeing her mom for brief times with us present.
Her social worker came one day when my parents were in another province for 2 weeks. I was not the legal guardian and had no right to be present so I had to listen from another room. The worker told this 14 year old that if they didn’t return to their mom that the mom would hurt herself.
From day one the authorities only cared about the mom’s wellbeing…it took almost 2 months before they talked to the young girl.
So she was forced to go back for a weekend. When she returned…she was gone. Everything she had been was gone and there was a new person in her body. No joy, no life, no hope…just anger and resentment.
She moved back with her mom right after that weekend.
I still mourn for the sweet girl I helped raise. We have no contact anymore and that is best as what she became was a bitter shell of what I had known. My only solace was her one goal seemed to be to make her mother’s life hell for forcing her back. And she achieved that. Thankfully she also has been able to make an ok life for herself.
I will never forgive child services for what they did.
Ugh. 😢
My mom used to work for CPS. Thank you for all you did and are now doing for children's rights. The system has some huge flaws and hurts a lot of people.
I'm super fucking proud of you for everything you're doing.
@@gdtestqueenI'm currently studying to be a social worker and this... this is just insane. It's literally one of the first things we learn in psychology (though you don't even need to be taught this sentiment ) that it's an absolute no-go what this Social Worker did. It's literally parentification, as in putting the child into a position where they have to be the caregiver to their adult parent. I'm so sorry that happened to that girl and you.
Grief is odd. During the crisis event I will be as calm and composed as normal. Even for a bit after I remain feeling normal. It's only after all the dust has settled that things sink in for me and it all comes crashing down. For me, grief is a delayed response, but I like it that way because it allows me to help others while things are hardest.
Its like the saying goes you dont cry because you’re weak you cry because you’ve been strong for too long
I’m the same way. My father in law fell in his home and passed away. When we went to his house, there was blood everywhere. My husband is extremely blood phobic, so I cleaned everything up. Afterwards, cleaned his house, helped my husband deal with all the death certificate stuff, closing accounts, etc.
A few months later, I saw a pen from a granite company in a town near where my father in law lived. He had granite counters, so I figured that was the company he used to install his granite counters. And then I found myself crying over a pen.
Grief is like rotting from insides
Most people think you're a piece of shit for having a delayed reaction, but same.
I am the same way. I spend a lot of time imagining the worst case scenarios so when they happen, I typically am calm. It's when you're alone, at night, thinking, that those feelings creep in
"War isn't hell. In hell there are no innocent bystanders. In war, the streets are littered by their remains."
That's a metal as fuck line-
@@ThingInTheHall not the time dude
@stillasp Yeah, ik, but like that line feels straight out of a dystopia novel.
@@ThingInTheHall But it's not. It's real life. And you're talking about how "metal" it sounds.
@@SepticShockAKAVin what's the quote from anyway?
My mom was seggually abusive. Its fucked how people dont think women can be perpetrators. People dont believe kids, they hear "but she's your mother " and these women go on to do so much damage, and not to just their kids.
I'm sorry that happened to you. You deserved better. I hope you're doing ok.
There are plenty of women who are toxic...evil.. psychopaths, sociopaths...and they abuse in every form.... Iam so very sorry for what happened to you ❤
People who downplay abuse need their heads read. Abuse is abuse. Your relationship to the perpetrator, whether stranger, intimate partner or family member, is irrelevant to how you are entitled to feel about the abuse and the abuser.
I hope you’re well and I’m so sorry about what you experienced ♥️♥️
Kids deserve love, not abuse
Hey heard of double standards
CPS is so terrible.
CPS: takes child away from biological parents for lack of funds.
Also CPS: gives funds to the new foster parents of the child to help support them.
No surprises there, backed by racism and employed by catholic cultists
CPS does 3 things- pick the wrong parent during custody battles, punish poor parents, and ignore actual abuse. This is why any time I see an Amber Alert and find out a parent took their kid and ghosted after a court battle removed their parental rights...I ignore it. Everyone should.
Children are treated like property.
Yeah.. i really hate clicks per second too 😢
My late husband and I had a conversation one time that basically went, “Well, we’re having to pay $100 per therapy session now that you got disability.” “Well, I think it’s worth it; I think it helps me.” “Hey, if you think it’s helping you, we have the money; no problem, you can keep going. I think my therapist is helping me to, even though it’s kinda inconvenient for me to go.” “Well, if you think your therapist is helping you, I want you to go; I can watch the kids!”. Damn, I miss that man… (he died of esophageal cancer, due to decades of poorly treated acid reflux) 🥺
Sounds lovely.
I hope you get to see him in your dreams until you're together again.
I don’t want to sound insensitive but how do you know if you have untreated acid reflux? I have it a lot and take tums or other antacids when I get it so now I’m worried of developing that type of cancer.
OP said "poorly treated", so I'm assuming they mean without the proper amount of antacids? I also do not mean to be insensitive btw, to anyone here. I'm not a doctor so idk, but that's just my best guess? If you have concerns about that though I would recommend asking a doctor.
@@WeabooScourgeKillerYeah, I have god awful acid reflux. Im on medical grade Omeprazole and ondanstron cause of it. I would ask your doctor about it, TH-cam and Google don't make good doctors 😅
First off, I'm very sorry for your loss. I had no idea acid reflux could cause cancer. Thank you for the heads up.
Not a therapist, but ...
I had a classmate when I was in high school who was clearly suffering from some sort of mental illness. He would have frequent flare-ups during class and would go out into the hallway to calm down. If you were within a few classrooms of him and paid enough attention, you could hear him in the background, but most people ignored him. I didn't, though. I sat with him at lunch and listened to him ramble while quietly eating, most days. We had a 'weird kids' table and I was part of it, mostly due to being autistic and 'off-putting'.
Still, one day I found him in the hallway on my way back from the bathroom, having a full blown meltdown to the point where he didn't even register me being there or talking to him. Once I figured that out, I ended up hugging him and gently reassuring him through it, not sure if he even knew who I was or what was going on. In my memory we were like that for a long time but at most it must've been five, maybe ten minutes or so of him just incoherently yelling and ranting and crying.
Eventually some of the faculty showed up, including one of his parents, and took him away. I was given permission to take a moment before heading back to my class, which I did. It was rattling knowing that someone I cared about, who on his good days was a funny and endearing guy, could drift that far from sanity and not come back down from it on his own. We were good friends throughout all of high school, even on his bad days, and he admitted to me once that he was afraid of himself. He never hurt me or anyone else, but sometimes he'd bite at his hands or arms with such a vengeance that it was horrific to watch.
I can only hope that now, a decade later, he's still doing well and getting the help he needs. I lost contact with a lot of school friends but I'll never forget that look in his eyes, it was like he was on a different planet completely. I never knew what exactly was going on, but I hope that I was a positive influence in his life.
It was a beautiful story. I'm glad you were able to do what you did and I'm sure it made a little difference in his life
My parents' neighbour is a social worker. Every Christmas she sends a letter to my parents and they are...something. Her first sentence is always about how drunk she is while writing it. Then its just two pages of bitching about how her kids are losers and not going anywhere in life, how many car accidents they caused in the past year and how expensive it is to pay for their insurance, and other lovely sentiments. Its not just her kids either; her last letter expressed how fat her husband has gotten and how she wishes he gets paid more as a tire shop manager. I bet her job is tough, but bashing your family to your neighbours around the supposed "happiest time of the year" seems like a bad coping mechanism.
Well, better to tell it to your parents than her family
Social Worker Student here, unfortunately the field attracts both highly empathic people and highly manipulative/shitty people. That and the fact that it's a highly stressful and emotionally draining job. Doesn't make it any better but it's an unfortunate truth that some SWs spiral after time.
It sounds like she's really been going through it. Those are probably the least of her grievances. Of course it's not right nor proper of her to say such things, especially to a neighbor, but I'd say give her some grace. I hope someone can help her get back on track.
Story 12. Vet here. I promise the guys that "lit up the bus" still have nightmares and CPTSD years later.
Years after the fact, we can't admit the pain and hide it with laughter.
Why do you think suicide is so high among war vets? If we talk about it we are monsters and if we ask for help the therapists cant handle it!
I really think a requirement is needed for veterans to be seen only by veterans if they opt for it when it comes to mental health. Far too many therapists can’t handle crisis without succumbing to their experiences and advocating for causes that harm because they’re reacting personally instead of objectively. It’s fucking hard but not impossible.
@@cynreiusacari3163 Make a veterans - to - therapists pipeline?
Well, it’s a month later, Happy Memorial Day. I just wanted to thank you for your service, the horrors and sacrifices that you make, physically, mentally, emotionally, for our country is monumetal. I have nothing but respect for you veterans. Just keep in mind, it wasn’t for nothing. I have a few family members that served in Vietnam and their story’s are truly haunting. Those who go through that are the strongest people on earth. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but just keep in mind that people love you
Not just war veterans, men/boys are denied their feelings, all their lives. It’s so harmful.
It blows my mind how any of you are celebrated and held in high regards.
i truly appreciate your kindness and empathy. you telling me to do something to regulate my emotions and such.. it helps me more than just end of video kind of stuff. i genuinely struggle outside of the internet to take care of myself and do things i enjoy so your comments basically directing me to do so helps me on a bigger level. thank you
❤ I agree, thank you for your work and compassion sharing these stories.
Same! It felt really refreshing honestly... I've been watching content like this basically as a way to distract myself from my own trauma (like in a, see, this is far worse so nothing to worry about- to myself) but i honestly know it's quite a bad distractor and so idk it was very comforting :,)
Most soldiers would not find that story of murdering that bust full of civilians funny, those people are complete psychos
Canadian military you’d be up on charges, holy crap.
Yeah... I hope that story was fake... but it might not have been.
Depends how far you are down the road of just wanting to kill everything that moves, US military apparently very very much creates such things more or less on purpose.
Timestamp?
Found it 12:00
Story 12 btw
Also how disgusting... How is killing the innocent (most likely) "funny"?
I'm ex navy (wont say which one) I've seen horrific things, none of it is funny, neither is that bus
The mother and the son -- I just yelled "NO F^^KING WAY"
when it said CPS didn't intervene. Aw, FFS.
UK primary (4-11yrs) school teacher. I trained in group therapy for children as part of my teaching career. In groups the children were learning to socialise and trust each other amongst other things, however it had the result that the kids in my group used to come to me to unload their trauma, their fear, their anger. It greatly shortened my time in teaching , i had my own issues with physical and mental health (and undiagnosed neurodiversity) and eventually it got to be too much.
That's too bad. I strongly believe that people who are offering help like this needs a strong support system as well. Otherwise burn out is just so expected of it
I work in elderly care. It's not therapy but it is very demanding. You see a lot of things. Having to have the quick thinking to try to keep someone alive while calling for an ambulance, dealing with those with dementia and confusion, having the risk of being hit on the job, among other things. Can be a lot sometimes.
I get it. I was sent off to do work experience in an elderly care place as a 15 year old. It was scarring.
God, these stories really put things into perspective. My problems seem soo small. My condolences to all these victims and tragic cases.
It's unhealthy to compare your woes to someone else's and think your problems are small. If it's taking a toll it's taking a toll.
@@jacobsalmi5582 to me, minimizing my own pain allows me to carry on and not identify with it. Because it doesn’t exactly go away. So the best I can do, is keep myself from becoming my pain.
I’ll never forget when my psych found out my assistance dog was killed in accident. She bawled when I told her the details of what happened. She said she hears the worst thing that happen to people everyday and is fine but hearing about what happened to my gorgeous boy who she loved so much to die such a horrific death really got her and she really struggled to do emdr with me to get over the trauma of the accident. I appreciated her honesty about the situation.
That's one good therapist, I'm glad you have such a good support there. I'm so sorry about your dog, that's one of my worst fears about my cat because I live on a busy street and she likes to try and get out. I know it's not the same, but I can't imagine how you feel right now and my heart hurts just reading this. I wish you the best
I hate that CPS listens to the abuser over the victim, Like the abuser won't lie to save their ass??? Yeah.
Yeah. All abusers are honest about their crimes. That’s why it goes on for so long
I’m behavior therapist. I work with kids that have a lot of aggression and “anger issues” and work on them using functional communication instead lashing out, like saying “can I have a break” instead of running out of the room or throwing a tantrum. One day I was dealing with a five year year old and for no particular reason that I could tell got out of his car walked into the building into the therapy room and put his head through the window. I was so stunned in the moment I thought he had thrown something out of it until i realized he was pulling his head out of the window and tried to rub his head, which I stopped but I was so panicked I couldn’t see if there was glass in his forehead (he was completely unharmed expect for a headache). There had been no warning signs or even vocalizations that he was upset. I hadn’t even turned on the lights in the rooms; that’s how quickly it happened. I panicked, holding his hands so he could touch the glass and called my coworkers to come check on him and went into my office and pulled myself together. After that we work 2 on 1 with him for a while in rooms without windows and I was pulled of the case for a few weeks.
We also found out that he does this at home at lot but his mother had fail to tell us because he hadn’t broken any of the windows there.
Story 19: I can painfully relate to that one. Not what exactly happened to the girl and her friend, but for the teacher going far beyond his "job". For me it has been a little more than 20 years ago when my mathematics teacher intervened to help me when nobody else did. My parents were divorced, no contact with father. By now I know I have cPTSD from the abusive ways I was raised. When I was 15, my issues started to manifest in Anorexia. I was also depressed and self-harming. It was my teacher who reacted, who really "saw" me and send me to the school psychological service. I still don't know how long my mother would have waited to take me to a mental health professional, or if she would have done it at all. I desperately wanted her to do it (but felt like I could not ask for it). She was even angry at first (confirming my fear) because she has alwawys been very "private" and did not want anything "private" to leak out.
It took me years of therapy to fully realise what that teacher had done for me. I still have very severe mental health issues and by now chronified ED. That does not change what the teacher did. As OP said "going the extra mile". It's sad that he apparently was more worried about my wellbeing than my own family. I actually contacted him, feeling the growing need to deeply thank him. It was not an easy step to do (me having AVPD definitely not helping in that), but I overcame my anxiety. He was thankful, understanding, and also sad that I still am struggling so much. But I feel extremely relieved that I finally let him know.
@bronyinsticks AVPD is short for Avoidant Personality Disorder. It's one of the anxious cluster Personality disorders (and may seem similar to Social Anxiety, but is not quite the same).
One big issue is being very fearful of doing something wrong in relations with other people, pretty much allways seing worst case scenarios, being quick to think that you allways do wrong regardless of your actions and people will hate you/the situation will be awful.. Also having a very hard time taking decisions, completely stressing out over (for an outsider seemingly minor) things. Getting so fearful that you end up avoiding all sorts of things. And beat yourself up for that too. It's hard to explain in short.
It meens you can stress out yourself with mental fights in your head that you end up getting physically ill from it.
It's annoying. (But I'm glad I have the diagnosis)
If you're volunteering for a crisis line, you have my utmost respect. That is not for the feint of heart, the things you end up hearing, while being practically powerless on the other side of the phone.
I have a story, and it’s from when I was in 8th grade, only 13. I was nowhere near a therapist, I just knew a little about psychology because I have a huge interest in it and I thought it might help with what I had/have going on. I had a friend (E) who was suicidal, and whenever they felt like committing, they would text me and their partner (W). This happened multiple times, at least twice, probably more; E texted us and said something along the lines of “I can’t do this anymore, i don’t blame you, know it’s not your fault, I love you.” Myself and W would try to contact E and talk them down from it, also talking to each other to check up on who E was replying to. After a little bit of back-and-forth they would stop replying for a little while. Something would happen between W and E, I think they would call each other(?) and everything would be fine again. At some point during that year, E planned to run away from their home and told us about it. They refused to make a plan, contact anyone who could help, and even if they did, they would say only minimal information. They contacted us whenever they wanted and we were forced to reply in fear of what would happen to them. This, obviously, put a lot of stress on us, especially because W and I were both already dealing with our own mental health issues. I was never actually able to take a minute because I was constantly worried about E and what was happening to them. This entire situation gave me three panic attacks within 6 hours. Then, a few weeks later it was back to worrying about E and their problems, I barely paid attention to how this impacted me at all, the panic attacks were caused by the stress of dealing with that whole ordeal, and I barely got a two-day break from it. Anyway, sorry for the essay, thanks for reading this, I hope you have a wonderful day and by whatever deity you believe in if you don’t pay attention to your mental health I will make sure you do, dammit.
You sound like a great friend. I hope E is doing ok now aswell as you. I’m sorry you had to go through that stress. I’m actually at the hospital now for a failed attempt and have been for the past week, bored out of my mind. I’m 14 so yeah it can be tough around this age definitely.
@@randomperson8341 thank you, I try to be. Dealing with stressors and walking on eggshells for friends’ sensitivities can be difficult at times, but it’s totally worth it for good friends. I got medication for my anxiety and it’s helping a lot, not super sure about E, but I think they’re doing well.
@@randomperson8341 at this time, W and E are broken up and we’re not really friends anymore. W is still friends with them out of fear of what will happen to them, and I have distanced myself from E as well. (Just to clarify, W and I are still best friends, we both distanced from E).
@@Observed_Idiotyour situation sounds exactly like what i and my friend have been going through since we were 11, now 15. it doesn’t always get better and sometimes you do just have to let go unfortunately
to story 12, the one with the army: my best friend got deployed a few months back and it was literally the worst thing ever. He was always really loving, very kind and overall one of the happiest and most compassionate people i knew, no matter what life threw at him he always was seeing the positive sides of it. The army broke him completly, he was a shell of his former self, he was hating on "their enemies" bc the army LITERALLY brainwashed him. He knows that the cycle of revenge is just horrible and that it is also stupid and never will make anything better, but then he started to actually believing in it and wanted to avenge his friends that died (in gaza aswell).
His wife literally wrote me (said to that: we never had contact before since she has rly bad social anxiety) and wrote that "her loving husband turned into this heart-broken empty body" and words never hit me harder. I was never confronted with anything war-related before that all happened and it destroyed me mentally seeing him like that, being scared and not knowing if he might have died while they did some training, if they got bombed or whatever.
To that aswell: He nearly died last year bc of some medical problems, the fact that the army even deployed him is just plain up enraging (he wasnt in a good medical state at all and no actual doctor would have allowed him to go to the army!) - where its just enraging me how his homeland is handling that, its just irresponsible, they just deploy everyone and dont even care if they are in a state to be able to actually fight or if they would just go there and die.
He was that exhausted from the training over the past 4 months, a week back he collapsed. He managed to wake up and is now recovering, they (the hospital) forbid him to go back for a month and that he has to rest - he now got a permit that allows him to not go back there, after his wife and me were begging him to get that. I was always kinda still behind him, accepting his descision, eventhough i think everything war-related is just beyond stupid (he got raised the way that war is sth kinda glorified and its sth good if u served for ur land), but after he collapsed i lost it. I also told him, that if he would go back, the next time he would collapse, he would not wake up and that i couldnt take that anymore, same with his wife. Her and i were just worried all of the time and we just didnt want to anymore, it was painful. It was 4 months of constant pain, where everyday just feels like hell and u dont know if he is still alive or not..
It was ultimately the thing that made him agree to getting the permit.
(+ the way they were treated, didnt even get a day to rest, got the most disgusting stuff to eat [their teeth broke bc it was that hard or the got hot bell peppers with spicy cheese in them???] and literally nothing was done to actually get them in a healthy and strong shape, which would be smart for good soldiers, is just disgusting. the didnt only break them mentally but also physically, they were all super exhausted [they got no nutrients, so no energy so obviously they are + they werent properly provided with water or anything for hours while they were in the desert training for days and hours on end])
This is heart breaking
CPS is gross and fraudulent, how can they let that boy continue to stay with his mom?
My heart breaks for all the kids... thanks therapists for helping them...
Hearing someone hang themselves and die…that’s absolutely horrible and I can’t imagine having to live with that haunting you..
I was in foster care, and I was in a few very awful homes. I remember being locked in a basement with no lights at the earliest age of 2. Dcf did nothing even when I complained. Im lucky that I got adopted when I was 13 and got therapy. I had major trust issues and always found it hard to have anyone truly close to me. I can care for people but I will never expose my “true” self. Therapist said that I have a passive guard in my mind to keep people away. It’s kinda sad because I wish I could call my adopted parents mom and dad in person but I can’t. I could only imagine how those other kids in the system have been traumatized and broken they are.
My mom keeps, touching me weirdly, doesn't matter how many times I tell her to stop. She never does. And no one believes me because she's my mom. And even if they do believe me, they think it's completely normal and innocent. I'm so tired
okay, first. i'm so, so fucking sorry that's happening to you. as a victim of s/a, i know what it does to affect trust with people and your relationships with some.
two. you need to reach out for help. not just suggesting that you can, no. you NEED to. if you can't call 911 then reach out to a friend or trusted family member-hell, even a teacher-and ask them to call for you. again, i hope you get the help you deserve and i hope that sick woman gets sentenced fairly. and the fact that people think it's normal is so fucking sickening. i'm so, so, so dearly sorry you've had to endure this for who the hell knows how long.
Even if it's just her hands on your back, you're allowed to set your own boundaries.
For example, people with autism have sensitivities to touch and might not like being touched often.
So, if you don't feel safe or heard when you're being touched, that is categorically wrong of your mom to do. For the people denying it's a problem. Ask them if you can demonstrate. If they say, no, say, well my mom never responds to when I say, no; how would you feel if I did it anyway?
You might make a little progress that way, but those people are only "half safe", meaning not actually safe, but maybe safer than your mom.
Getting help is hard to do depending on where you are. Instead you can also just not be around. Take up more school activities, do extra projects with teachers and so on. You can take some of your life back even if you can't take it all back.
Idk what to say. My heart goes out to you! That sounds horrible. Do what the above person said and try to seek help from someone. There are caring people out there.
wait, if a parent kisses, hugs and those kind of stuff all the time when i dont feel comfortable to and have clarified i want to stop, it is s/a? /genq
i’m so sorry :(
Im not a therapist, however despite my own mental health struggles i have always tried to be there for others, sometimes to my own detriment. I can no longer count the number of times on two hands that i have talked someone down from ending their own life or been the shoulder to cry on when someone was grieving. But like i said, im not a therapist, im not trained, and im not mentally healthy myself. I know i need therapy for a multitude of reasons, but unfortunately it is really hard to get if you can’t pay for it where i live. What i can say is, if you are going through something, please talk to someone, and reach out for help, there are people who care.
People who don’t deal with violence and the sheer depravity of what humans are capable of don’t realize how messed up those who do are. You HAVE to dissociate with the horror or you’ll break your mind. Those cops at the conference weren’t being callous just because. The job and what they see every day has just desensitized them. It’s a coping mechanism.
CPS sucks. ive delt with them more times than i can count. i was abused and assaulted for years of my life but still, to this day i have been see as a liar to all my friends, family, and even past therapists. there were so many CPS calls to come get me over the years that they just STOPPED showing up. freshmen year was my last year in school due to my trauma, i couldn’t go more than 30 minutes in a classroom without breaking down. one time in happened the counselor helped me and i admitted everything to her. she called CPS but they never came. she called again and again and again over the 2 months i was there and not once did they come. ive had police break down my bedroom door because i locked myself in there since i didnt feel safe around my family, they saw it as me probably in there by myself doing drugs or drinking and being a rebellious kid. ive had paramedics refuse to take me to the hospital because i was “causing too many problems” (i was curled up in my closet sobbing and having a flashback)
i still deal with the trauma of these instances every single day of my life and i can only pray ill live to 18 when im finally able to leave my house and never see my family again.
Young friend… I have not been in your exact shoes, but all I can say is… I know CPS is terrible. I know your family situation is not ideal. Hang in there. Find something at school that you can dive into. Something your family cannot take away from you. Keep that set of cards tightly against you. Make sure they don’t know about it. If it’s a subject, you love? Study it at the school library. I promise… You will be able to make it through. 🫂 💜 💚
i wish you luck, that sounds awful :(
As a social worker and clinical therapist at a community health agency, it is a very emotionally stressful job. I’ve had days that I needed to sit in my car and take a moment to process it. Secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue and burn out are VERY real. Self care and grounding is SO important ❤️
teachers are so important. When i was 16-17 i was being rushed back and forth to the hospital being tested for lymphatic cancer. this was on top of already poor mental health including passive suicidal tendencies, exam stress and then covid lockdowns. I remember one day we were being asked about plans for the future and all my classmates were bright and happy(this was precovid) and when it got to me i just broke. Covered in bruises and bandages from hospital examinations , I could not imagine myself living past the age of 20 let alone going to uni or starting a career. I went outside the class and just sobbed. My drama teacher just hugged me as if I were her own daughter until i cried myself clean, she did cry tho bless her. My teachers (mostly) gave me a lot of support. A few even gave me little gift packets with chocolates and cards xx (Although fuck my history teacher that berated me for not handing in an essay in front of the class despite me telling her i had been in the hospital)
Fast forward and im nearly 22 and doing alot better. A diagnosis of Castlemans disease with regular checkups and a c-ptsd diagnosis. I still struggle with this trauma but life is moving forward. Im doing a foundation course currently and will be applying to university next year:). Thank you to all the teachers who actually care about your students xxxx
I feel like regarding the cops and soldiers stories that they are so calloused after years on the job and the messed up stuff they had seen that they don't even think about the stories they tell as horrible because everyone else around them is used to hearing horrible stories like that and just have to brush them off or use humor as a way to deal with the messed up situations they see/saw everyday.
My mom works for animal control in a large city and see so many abuse/cruelty cases that she doesn't even think twice about telling us the messed up stories about her work days. I grew up listening to this and have known the horrors other people don't wanna know about the worst animal abuse cases, but no longer think anything of it. It was actually weird hearing other people talk about "evil pet owners" and the supposed abuse on their animals, when in reality it's actually about as mild as it gets. I also used to get in trouble by others for knowing a "little too much" about animal fighting rings cause I've heard stories about them growing up and think nothing of it while others are horrified by it.
I once did an animal presentation about animal abuse for a college class and even gave a disclaimer and even made sure the pictures used were not too horrific or showed any gore, but was still stopped halfway through by the teacher cause I accidently made half the class cry and several others nauseated just from my facts. Still got an A though.
This. Once posted a picture of a dead abused child during a discord chat with friend and was like, "Guess what the parents' excuse was? the boy fell off the bed. Such BS, right?"
Response I got was, "Hey, please don't post a dead, brutalized child on here."
And then it hit me... other people aren't used to that kind of thing.
But… But that’s how you know you’ve done a good job! 🤣
My mom worked for CPS, so I kinda got the same experience of her telling me everything and me growing desensitized to it. When the 8 Passengers family vlog trial notes were released, I was really surprised that a lot of youtubers were actually breaking down crying on camera reading about what all had happened, because I'd heard worse every day since I was like 11. It feels weird in a way, being the only one in a friend group who's known for being "the most chill" about the most horrific acts committed by mankind
I have so much beef with CPS
CPS, the human version of PETA
As someone who struggles and thinks about their sense of empathy a lot, I don't know which would be worse as a soldier, living with a culled sense of empathy, or living with the pain it would bring you for what you've done. PTSD, or a cold sociopathy.
It's something a majority if combat vets struggle with. Especially reconciling morality once out of the service. It's part of why suicide rates are so high.
I was in therapy once, now I aim to become a trauma therapist because of that guy that helped. If not for him, I honestly would've killed myself. Now I wanna be a therapist and help other people get through the bad times like I had. We all could use some help.
One of my friends is a school counsellor and I remember her telling me about this time when she had to inform two students from her school that their father had been shot and killed because their mother was absolutely hysterical and unable to tell them herself.
With regards to the unempathetic cops... I personally know someone who fought in Ireland during the Troubles. He jokes about it now, but he hates bringing up the subject. It's his way of dealing with things, and I'd not be surprised if its the cops' way of dealing with things too.
True, but they shouldn't have made that poor dude listen to them.
Exposing others to trauma forcibly? There's a time and place.
I was confused the grief counselor having to go to the back room. I'm not a counselor, but a nurse in Germany and we are encouraged to cry with patients, if that's what it comes down to. Sharing emotions and showing that you actually care and generally just being human does help a lot more than throwing out typical phrases. Think a tight hug as opposed to "well, sorry for your loss. Gotta go now."
I have schizoaffective! I've never heard it mentioned before! Thankfully due to my mom being diagnosed, she advocated and fought for me to get the same treatment as her. I'm medicated and living my best life🕺
'we moved to Flordia from Miami'.
.... What..?
That's what I thought I heard 😂 I thought I misheard haha
@hburke45 me too! 😂
I don't get it... is it an American thing?
@skymed3095 nope, it's confusing to me as a born-and-raised American, too! 😆
@@skymed3095just in case you’re confused why we’re confused, Miami is in Florida.
What makes me so mad about CPS is that when given evidence of abuse toward children, they say it’s okay and justified. Meanwhile someone can falsely accuse a family in my home state and even without evidence CPS swoops in and just takes the kid without question… why do they ignore the needy and take the kids who don’t need help?
I’ve been in mental health services for over 20 years and I’ve never heard of a therapist killing themselves because of a patient’s trauma…
Not a therapist, but was training to be one. The reason I never went through was because during that time, I was s*xually harassed by my mother and it just broke me. I knew I wouldn’t be able help anyone if I didn’t even have anyone to talk to about this. She’s always been a big part of my life so breaking away would’ve horrible, but just hearing her voice would make me flinch. I went onto coding and still haven’t told anyone yet.
When you are able to afford it, please, get a therapist so you can work throught your trauma. It can affect your quality of life in invisible ways. I hope you can find people in your that can comfort you and make you feel safe in the future. Good luck and safe travels.
@@zyrevelvrein2388 thank you, you don’t know how much your comment means to me. If you don’t mind I’m going to rant a little.
I honestly sometimes doubt whether or not she harassed me and if it even affected me that way or if I was just blowing it out of proportion. I’d gone through s*xual assault before and she was the one there for me so I was able to heal and put it past me.
When the incident with her occurred I was too confused and emotionally abused by her to do anything. Ever since I was young, if I was reluctant to do something she’d asked if I truly loved her if I couldn’t just do it for her? She’d never give up until I actually did the thing even if I reassured her I did love her. This time it was something I really didn’t want to do for her.
I didn’t register it as harassment until a new friend at the time asked if I was okay with hugging which I’d usually would be, but I realized they asked it because I had flinched several times when someone came close to me. It hit even more when a friend of mine asked if I loved them when they needed to be consoled and the words were just lodged in my throat, feeling as though even if I did say it I’d have to do something for them to prove it.
I’d always had a fear of affection due to my mothers emotional abuse, but at that time I was slowly coming to terms with it and actually allowed friends to come into my life. But after the incident the fear grew much worse, I have people around me and I feel pathetic for not being able to say anything. I am slowly building the savings and courage to talk to a professional, thank you again for just making me feel validated.
@@perrytheplate hey, I wanna say I am so glad that you are trying to build up savings to talk to a professional. lease never ever blame yourself and I am sure things will get better.Wishing you the best.
@@manashvi2006 Thank you, sometimes it feels hopeless and I just want to give up, but I’ve been trying to pull through and things like this help a lot
@@perrytheplate Honestly, this sounds horrifying. It does not seem like your mother should have ever have been a parent or caregiver, at any rate. Cut all ties as soon as you can, for you own safety, because if she's done it once… she [might] try again. The more independent you become, the more likely it is that she will try to regain control over you, you should take it as a sign that you are going into the right direction if you notice her doing that. I'd also recommend having the opinion of someone who knows you and wants you safe, friends are all that we have when things get tough and sometimes they can get us through a lot. Stay safe, there are people who care about you…
Sometimes you wonder how these therapists can survive without having their own therapist.
It’s therapists all the way down.
th-cam.com/video/NiTwzHnrzNM/w-d-xo.htmlsi=9togNnEsLlVoKpgJ
Well, they know all the tools how to deal with these stuff. That's why they are teaching us how to use those tools.
They.. don't, ideally. A therapist should also get therapy. Secondhand trauma is plenty damaging in its own right.
I told my therapist that i saw myself as closer to a chair than a person. She had to sit on that for a minute
Sorry if this is inappropriate, but that was a really good pun.
@@Doctor-Of-Doom and entirely unintentional 🤣🤣
I understand that somehow
🫂 I hope you don't think that anymore.
How dare you objectify mental health like this. Comments like this fill me with a deep seated rage. I don't know how on earth anyone could take this position. Nothing could cushion the blow because this joke really doesn't have a leg to stand on. Might wanna bench this one, OP, because it's not doing much to upholster your ego. Really rocking the boat, y'know, gotta be cafeful when your sense of humour runs hammock like that. Unless you want to tuffet out, idk, your call.
I once got super depressed in my Spanish class because I was experiencing a death and almost started crying in class. I kept saying that I don’t want to because I fear people would hate me for it, call me names, and laugh at me for crying. My teacher was confused but understanding that I was sad, so they gave me some time. She wanted me to draw a picture or write a note in case I didn’t want to talk about it. I drew a picture of what happened. She then gave me a note, because class ended saying “I’m so sorry” and I cried realizing how much they cared. I sent them an email apologizing for being not productive that day and they replied basically saying “It’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry” and wanted for me to feel better. I still cry about it.
Coming from someone that had CPS heavily involved with my childhood, they are a f***king failer and a joke
yeah, just finished story 20. I think ima have to turn it off its taking a toll on me mentally. But I think its great that your raising some awareness about the absolute legends that are therapists
Actually re: story two, I used to know someone with a degree in psychology and apparently it's not unusual/unheard of for sexual advixe to be part of therapy. Obviously some people are specialized in relationships (or on the dark end, sexual abuse) but it's a pretty common human experience to seek intimacy and to have questions about how to get it, why it's not going well, etc so sexual troubles can indeed be a topic of therapy ahaha
I'm not a mental health professional, but I've helped a lot of people in crisis. It hurts. You have to dig deep and use your empathy to help them, but this comes with a horrible emotional cost to yourself. I pay it gladly, because I know I have saved lives. Only once did I have to disengage, because it was hurting me too much; the person in question was self-destructing with drugs. Went from being on track to becoming a lawyer to failing out and becoming a felon within two years (two DUIs).
I’m honestly amazed that people can hear this stuff and not break down I worked in memory care and the amount of people who relived the worst moments of there life or cursed god for letting them live this long was enough to almost break me it was the old lady dieing in my arms as I got her dressed that made me step away from 14 years of it but I can’t only imagine what hearing peoples trauma everyday can do to you.
My abusive ex is Literally a CPS employee in indianapolis.
Like a priest, scum gets close to where it can get away with things.
The woman who lost her baby reminded me of when my grandmother passed. The family knew it was coming as she'd been not eating much for a couple of days, when the call came that she'd passed my parents and I went to see her and it felt surreal. She had alzheimers and dimentia so it felt like for me that she'd already gone, the woman I knew from childhood had been gone for years at this point. I don't know how things will hit at the one year mark, but I'm not sure there will be tears.
What you said about how grief hits different people at different times and when it does you just need to take a minute and sit with it really resonated with me, so thank you if you ever see this. When I was in 7th grade my grandma died, and she and I had been pretty close in her last years, so it hit me like a truck. Not to mention the hormones that come with being 12 years old. Long story short I ended up running away from home at one point, and I intended to just leave and never come back, but I ended up just going to 7-11 and getting some candy, and then walking to my late grandmother's house to eat it and sob. It was probably one of the most important parts of my healing journey. I then calmly walked to my family's business where my aunt greeted me with so much relief. I was only gone for 2 hours, and it was hell for my family, but I really needed those 2 hours, I think.
13:07 they could have been like that beforehand. Armed forces don’t do extensive psych evaluations on recruits. They mostly just try to get them in as quickly as possible.
Therapists and first responders really don't get enough credit. It's also nice to watch a video right after it comes out and see the views and likes go up :) (8th comment)
When my mom passed from a heart attack, the first EMT that responded was my coworker's boyfriend. He had only been an EMT for a few months. He did everything he possibly could, but from what the physician told me, there wasn't any possibility of saving her. For some reason, knowing the victim was the mother of someone he knew messed him up.
He went to the funeral. When he saw me he lost it. He kept crying and apologizing. Apparently, no one followed up with him to let him know my mother was gone before he even received the call. I felt so bad for him. All I could do was tell him it was never his fault. I have so much respect for first responders now.
A lot of respect to people in these professions
Honestly, the hardest thing about doing this work is there are multiple 'I need a minute' moments and that they add up. The more there are, the harder it becomes to feel fully. The harder it becomes to feel fully, the harder it becomes to bring yourself fully to the work... and that's how we get horrible therapists and social workers who 'just don't care.' You can see yourself in this process and not know what to do because you have a choice between self-care and the paycheck you need to pay rent.
Okay some of these made me cry, those poor souls :(
I remember when I was 14 I started seeing this girl, and during the 1 1/2 year of dating I felt very emotional drained and mentally from just having to talk to her every day. I think she had bpd (borderline personality disorder), and it took me a while to get the guts to end the relationship because I was scared she was going to do something to herself. I was only 14, and I wasn't trained to deal with situations like that, and it caused my mental health to become worse over time. I started to sh again after, and I avoided talking about my problems for a long time. Sometimes I still feel bad for doing what I did, but I think it was for the best
If you don't also want to be a psychiatrist then don't be a teacher. You're with those kids all day everyday. YOU are the responsible adult in charge and therefore when the student is in YOUR care you have a duty to do what's best for them and be connected.
"Not a therapist, but -" This shit gets on my nerves
I still find the stories interesting to hear
@@amya_25 Ye
"Not a [insert people in question], but..."
I work at a snack bar that serves alcohol in a "family friendly" location. There was this girl, probably nine, definitely no older than ten, who sat at the bar while her parents and the other adults drank themselves silly. Not enough to not be able to walk straight, but enough where they had no inside voices or concept of where they were. I spent all that time with that poor girl, making sure she was having fun and not noticing her mother telling raunchy jokes to her friends. I still remember that girl, and I still feel a sinking pit in my stomach thinking about that mother.
Making humor out of something like that is a trauma response your brain has to do something with the traumatic stress your dealing with and it either breaks you or you’ll find it humorous
A very close friend of mine may have once had a therapist quit their job from the horrors she's been thru even as a child the first time she opened up to one so young, and then here I am meeting her like 10yrs later, same horrors and much more but her brain had buried most of it, and once she finally started to remember and felt safe enough to open up, I could handle every bit better than anyone else I've met so far, and I helped her any way I could even if all I could do was sit there over call witnessing her have panic attacks, ptsd episodes, periods of age regression, fights with her almost all bad mom, or tic episodes (she had Tourettes hiding under HEAVY medication for other things, and I got to finding out the medication she was taking was now just making things even worse so I convinced her to EVENTUALLY stop taking it all together bc she had no way of getting to a good enough doctor that could get the dosage of anything lowered).
We used mostly verbal roleplay to help her process, confess, and heal, and a some of the stories we've made together I will be writing and posting on any different platform I can. I've been told I'd be a great therapist, and while I agree, I don't want to help people when I'm not allowed to help more than who and what I'm told to. That won't make a single dent of difference in the world even if I get 100 clients in a few years; nah, I'm doing more similar to what Citizen Soldier does, but isntead of music, it's with works of fiction and fanfiction with psycho/sociological & spiritual deep dives in them covering more than everything under the sun - in multiple media forms but mostly books & comics with visually & audibly illustrated versions later on for those who prefer to listen or watch.
For anyone who's curious: Main few series' I'm working on at the moment are called Endless Battles (multi genere fiction), A Family To Call Home (Creepypasta, Marble Hornets, SCP Foundation, & Gravity Falls crossover fanficion with our own self inserts on the side in a mess of books connecting each other), Good Ol' Mr. Wilhelm (mainly historical fiction & dark fantasy saga), aaaaaand a Gravity Falls x Black Bullet(anime) crossover fanfic which is a Bill Cipher redemption story that is as dark as all these dark reddit stories combined, and EVEN MY MOM is willingly participating in the making of one or two of the chapters! Gonna be a favorite to write for sure, I hope I wasted no one's time with this, but this video has also given me inspiration to be a bit of a therapist in my own way and help thousands or millions in a single year one day, and maybe even help other therapists because I question whether they get the full proper training they need if they can't handle these horrors and worse that happen somewhere in the world every single day.
Yo! A fellow citizen soldier fan! 🤝 💜 person doing 🤸 🫂 absolutely love most of their stuff… Jake is an absolute angel! And I know someone like you… Best person I ever met. And… Someone else who does verbal role-play? I thought I was completely broken!
@@SarafinaSummers VERBAL ROLEPAYERS *UNIIIIITE* !!! 😤💪 And yes, Jake is such an angel, I got to take my friend to one of his acoustic concerts and we were THE FIRST to speak with him, and after seeing her stim, he said she made his day!! 😭💖
If i had the mentality i would really want to be a therapist, but im way too emotional for that and i just know I wouldnt be able to carry the burden ov everyones trauma 🙁 i think its admirable to see how therapists can change peoples lifes
I worked at an elementary school and a student with a rough background reported she wanted to unalive herself and had a plan to do it. She was in first grade.
Also in college I had 3 friends try to unalive themselves within one month. None were successful thank goodness but one ended up staying with me for a week and had to check in with me every 3 hours to make sure he wouldn’t try again.
This podcast is my go-to for staying informed while being entertained.
It’s been my dream since I was little to persue phycology, my sister has anxiety disorder adhd and ocd and ever since I was as young as 8 or 9 years old I remember calming her down in extreme panic attacks almost daily. I myself dealt with depression and adhd as a child. So phycology of children has always deeply interested me. I plan on going to school to study phycology and hope to help people like these therapists did.
Referring to story 12…my boyfriend is a marine, I’ve known him since before he signed the contract. He left for bootcamp during quarantine and didn’t come home until 2021 because they just kept coming up with excuses and when he got home he was completely a different person. Bootcamp and military training is absolutely brainwashing, however I still love him just as much as I did the day he left and I always will no matter how much he changes or grows ❤️
"I'm still a teacher and I've had to harden my heart and realize I can't help everyone" I've been teaching abroad for about 4 years and at this point I feel so under qualified for the amount of work that I do. And every time I vent/try to talk about with it others everyone is just so cold like "Well those aren't your children and there's nothing you can do right? So just save yourself" I mean yeah I get it, and my leadership is kinda in the same boat, I think we are in burn out with the sheer amount of children we get at our academy with ... "extra spice" but its so sad because these are elementary school kids going through like either legit adult problems, bullying/abuse at home or mental issues/challenges (idk how to say it properly so forgive me if thats wrong) and I feel ill equip to help them and it makes me sad. Plus the locals are just like "The kids are all little liars" I mean a few of them, ok maybe do it for attention but there's no way it's all of them. So many confess to graphic physical or mental punishments for simple mistakes, lack of performance or what I think would be fair to call normal child behavior. These days I have this boy that will rock back and forth in the fetal position. Or completely lose his shit over what I think could be consisted a simple thing (example, asked him to say "A" or "B" or use finger signals to signal 1 or 2 and if he just wasn't in the mood, there's tears, physical soothing attempts, etc). But yet Im just simply told to "keep going on with the class and just give him compliments" and idk I feel like Im hurting him by pushing him to continue... but thats my only choice if I want to stay in good graces at work.
Cps sucks I reported a lady multiple times for the same thing, nothing was ever done… kid offed himself yrs later
THAT STORY WITH THE MOM AND THE SON ACTUALLY MADE ME NAUSEOUS, MY JAW WAS DROPPED FOR THE WHOLE TIME
The story about the mom molesting her son & the way CPS handled it is so similar to what happened with my stepson. It was obviously inherently s3xual conduct among 3 children under the age of 8 that my stepson recorded on his phone which he shouldn't even have. It was "investigated" & ruled as boys will be boys. Then it happened again at school. And again a few times at home. We can't get them to take us seriously & his mom is a paralegal so shes very skilled at playing the system.
It makes me sick when CPS can't see whats black & white. When it comes to children there is NO gray area
I like that the speaker's voice is dynamic and actually adds to the experience
Man i think im messed up in the head, im just listening to this on the background like its a podcast. And i wouldnt think thats weird if you werent constantly saying its heavy, and also that one time where you told the audience to take their time.
Maybe all those years surrounded by depressed people did take a toll on me.
CPS makes no sense. Worthless agency. I was abused as a kid. The first time the school called CPS I was honest due to my child naivety. They didn't remove me, instead they did random house visits for a few months. In that time the abuse stopped, but once the case closed it started right back up and was even worse than before. The second time CPS was called by my step siblings grandparent when they visited their dad. I was singled out for abuse, not my siblings/step siblings. This time I said nothing, same thing, no removal just random house visits and mandatory classes/counseling for the adults. Case closed after a few months, same thing as before. CPS was called a third time by the after school day care, same thing....
When I was around 12 my mom met my step dad, got clean and was awarded visitation time. My step dad, the only adult with no obligation to me whatsoever, pretty much immediately caught on to what was happening. He pushed my mom to seek full custody and even paid for the lawyer. It was a GAL that finally set me free.
She asked to speak with me alone. At first due to my prior experiences I said nothing. Then she reached out, touched my hand and said:
"If you tell me what's going on, I will let you leave with your mom today"
I believed her and told her everything. I got to live with my mom. Less than 6 months after I got to live with her my Step mom (the person that was abusing me, while my dad hid in a bottle and ignored it) cleared out the house and all of their bank accounts while my dad was at work and left him for his best friend.
The one with the dong completely fills me up with rage. They have my curses
I wonder if any of my therapists have had a moment like this about me. I've had at least 5 not counting the weeks and weeks of walk-ins when things just started. Knowing that you probably would call me dramatic considering the root is being bullied. Something incredibly normal.
“Locked him in a dog kennel and forced him to watch him murder his Mom” i need a few decades to recover from that and i wasnt even the one to experience that, my prayers go out to this boy and hopefully he will live a healthy and good life.
Ikr? the most screwed up story here :'(
I was assaulted for years. The police and therapists did absolutely nothing because they believed that the abuse coming from a family member deemed it insignificant. All they came up with were "coping strategies".
i’m so sorry :(
I've experienced whatever the emotional equivalent of calluses are due to repeated threats of sui from my old friend group when i was 13/14. it burnt me out severely and it worsened my depression and caused me to isolate myself.
and it's not that anyone had the intention of hurting me, its more so that everyone just really needed a shoulder to cry on, and i was the same way because i picked the behavior up from them. however on top of this, we also lashed out at each other a lot in response because it constantly felt like everyone was on the verge of dying and we just wanted it to stop. we needed a break.
and telling someone that you feel this horrible is one thing, but despite all the pure intentions, it was told with such demand, so much "i am GOING to [do this]" that we felt like each other's lives were in our hands on a daily basis.
it's later, actually just this year, that this kind of came back to haunt me when my ex boyfriend (before we were dating) had told me some of the things that his then-partner had been telling him, and how graphic their messages were expressing what they wanted to do to themselves, and afaik this happened almost on the daily.
this is about half of what influenced me to tell him he needs to break up with them, because the whole situation reminded me of my 13/14 year old self and that friend group. i saw him break down over it once, because he had just been sent a message and read it while i was over, and he just burst into tears in my arms telling me he didn't know what to do anymore. it was really hard to watch.
they stayed friends after breaking up, because even after all i told him, he still feels an obligation to be there for them knowing they have nobody else.
now here is the bottomline of this comment: therapists are incredible. the good ones who have any shred of care for their job have a superpower and almost anyone in social work will forever be cherished for the piece of themselves that they sacrifice.
that being said, do not let yourself turn into a therapist friend. please. not unless you have the stability for it. i am in a mostly happy household with a genuinely loving family, and i still ended up with some form of trauma that i was never really able to get fully checked out, and friends like i had at 13/14 are the reason why. even something so little as repeated threats of suicide, even with the best intentions, will still mess you up in some way. minds that young are still so delicate, you're not meant to be feeling like someone's life is in your hands at that age, you're supposed to be playing games with your friends and laughing over stupid memes you find online.
please, don't let your innocence be lost to time because you feel the need to be a good friend. sometimes you have to drop everything and take the cruel way out in order to protect yourself, and it took me so long to learn that that is just fine.
it's okay to leave a severely depressed person if you're starting to feel severely depressed yourself, only as a last resort, only when you feel like you can't do it anymore, only when you find yourself awake at night and breaking down when you can't check your phone to make sure everyone is okay because you got it taken from you by your guardian (true story). it's okay to leave then. you can't save everyone.
12:00 This story would be a good litmus test for qualifying to be a therapist. Like, if you hear that story and, like that particular therapist, you take from it that the vet doesn't have empathy, you should never be a therapist. ...Or just dark humor in general would be a good test. Like, you don't have to *like* dark humor, but if you can't grasp the concept of a good person who enjoys dark humor... That is just barely sticking one toe into the shallow end of the "minds are kinda complicated" pool. If that's the part of the pool where you start drowning, you shouldn't be a lifeguard.
Thinking its funny to murder a busload of people is definitely a demonstration of no empathy. Are you some sort of idiot?
The therapist in story 3 must have felt like such a failure that they weren't able to help them 🥺
y'know I wonder if the younger generation would be more desensitized to hearing this type of stuff (because the internet has shown us a lot of bs) and therefore able to better handle hearing such terrible things
That story about the kid in the restraints, yeah I believe it. Male victims and female perpetrators are not taken seriously at all. It's disgusting but we are not allowed to talk about it because we are all "privileged"
That cps story is just like what i imagined and probably the reason why i haven't spoken about my stuff ever....
Yeah I don't think separation from parents is always best except in extreme situations
This is definitely making me rethink going into psychology
4:25 that's how I know I've done a lot of research on mental illness, I immediately thought "that sounds like schizophrenia and bpd"
This one time I was telling my therapist about something that happened to me and she literally asked me if I was making it up, it was _that_ horrible/unbelievable.