Have tea with me, for therapy… (session 184)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 7

  • @mdobr
    @mdobr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey Ben, thanks for sharing another candid and thoughtful video. I really admire your openness about your struggles and how you navigate through them. I’m sorry to hear about the job offer falling through, but I couldn’t help but notice how you’re already finding a way to see it as a potential opportunity rather than just a setback. Have you had a chance to reflect on what an ideal work environment might look like for you, or is that still something you're exploring?

    • @O2O514-Ben_Jay
      @O2O514-Ben_Jay  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey Michal, thanks for watching and engaging yet again ☺️. Such kind words from you and still, I am having a hard time accepting them emotionally. Don’t be sorry; as first off, it’s not your fault and further, as you have recognised, I’m iffy on the loss that it is.
      I have since wondered what’d’ve happened had I accepted the offer a month ago, and come to the conclusion that I would have been let go during/after my probationary period. ¿As apparently at this time the firm is not looking for anyone to do any work?, for they have let go my former/previously potential future chief, whom they’d invested in heavyly.
      We can’t control what the universe (not to force my spirituality upon anyone) through at us, even if we could, life’d be kinda boring.
      //Facts are given: my neurological structure diverges from the norm, imho there’s no point in asking why, as it can not be changed (independently on if one would want to, or would lose the "self")//
      What we can control is our own perspectives on things, this is where I have to continue to fight my inner demons!
      I have had the opportunity to reflect on some aspects of an ideal job:
      -I would want hierarchical bilaterallity, not manglement that think they could do my job, if they aren’t doing it. //mutual respect//
      -I don’t think a desk job would suit me, as my (perceived) time passes to slowly when facing buerocracy. If a 40 hour week feels like 200 hours, I can not be competitive for an adequate compensation. //no desk job//
      -With my elevated sense for justice, I can not continually "look away", though i am willing to implement compliance myself. I cannot have a workplace that is intentionally breaking standards, such as helath and saftey standards e.g. DeutscheGesetzlicheUnfallVersicherung Vorschriften (e.g. GermanRequiredAccidentInsurance Regulations). //compliance//
      Thanks for reading this "essay" and thanks Michal for prompting me to type it up in the first place!

    • @mdobr
      @mdobr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@O2O514-Ben_Jay Hey Ben, I’ve been watching your recent videos and they resonate with me a lot. I went through a lot of similar struggles earlier in life, and because of that experience, I wanted to offer you some additional observations and perspectives. I think they could be helpful, but I’d prefer not to post them publicly as a comment unless you’re okay with it.
      Would you be open to me sending them privately, like via email or DM? Or if you’d prefer, I can share them here as a comment under the video. Let me know what works best for you-I’m happy to share in whatever way you’re comfortable with!

    • @O2O514-Ben_Jay
      @O2O514-Ben_Jay  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @mdobr Hey Michal, thanks for watching and I’m sorry to hear about the recent sessions having resonated with you. Considering your use of past tense I’m glad to hear you having overcome your struggles which were similar to mine.
      please do give any and all observations and perspectives! I am very ok with them being public comments, should you not be open to post some things I shall also accept emails at (for you): mdobr[at]020514[dot]com
      I am very open to them being public comments under these videos, in hope of them having the potential to serve others the same purpose as the shall me.
      Thanks ahead

    • @mdobr
      @mdobr 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@O2O514-Ben_Jay Ben, I can see you’ve put a lot of thought into what’s happened and what you’re looking for in an ideal work environment. You’re absolutely right that we can’t control everything the universe throws at us, and as someone who’s neurodivergent, you’re dealing with unique challenges that others might not fully grasp. But here’s the reality: you’re in a cycle that’s hard to break, and it won’t get easier unless you force a shift.
      Your self-awareness is sharp, but it’s not translating into consistent action. Recognizing the effects of burnout and reflecting on past decisions is only useful if it fuels change. I understand that the sensory overload, the bureaucracy, and the endless job rejections hit harder for you than they might for others. It’s exhausting, and there’s no denying that the world isn’t built to accommodate you. But as harsh as it sounds, you have to take on the responsibility of pushing through, even if it feels impossible.
      Every time you defer handling the things that stress you out-whether it’s job applications, bureaucratic tasks, or social engagements-you’re reinforcing that avoidance pattern and making it harder for yourself in the long run. The truth is, no one else is going to make things easier for you or reduce the mental load. And the more you wait for your energy to align or the conditions to be right, the more you’ll stay stuck in this limbo.
      Given how stressful and draining typical job searching is for you, maybe it’s time to rethink your approach entirely. What if you focused on identifying specific accommodations or environments where you could thrive without it costing so much of your mental and emotional energy? That way, you’re not repeatedly putting yourself in situations that are more damaging than productive.
      It’s brutal, but you have to stop waiting for the right conditions and just tackle things head-on, even when it feels unbearable. Take on each task one agonizing step at a time, without worrying about perfection or the long-term. You won’t conquer everything at once, but by pushing yourself through each uncomfortable step, you’ll start chipping away at that wall.
      You’re already fighting with yourself to stay afloat, and I respect that-but now it’s time to channel that energy into small, concrete actions. Cut out the noise, simplify your tasks, and get relentless about making progress, no matter how slow. You have more control than you realize, but you have to take ownership of it, one brutally honest step at a time.

    • @O2O514-Ben_Jay
      @O2O514-Ben_Jay  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks
      the sad reality is:
      I know you are right