Every daycare and primary school in my area are like this. Very, VERY firm rules about how an adult needs substantial connection to a child to be released to them. Too meant kids end up abused or disappeared with someone a parent or grandparent thought was trustworthy.
Almost all cases of CSA are committed by people who the child knows & trusts. Teach your kid how to speak out about abuse, because you cannot truly trust ANYONE in this world.
Heavily second this I feel like so much CSA happens and people get away with it because people think “we can’t teach children about sex!” But then all they learn about it is from the abuser, who obviously teaches them incorrect things.
Absolutely! Predators almost always get very close to families and go out of their way to seem trustworthy and gain the families trust so they can manipulate a child into thinking no one will believe them and for easy access. I had to take a whole class on this in order to volunteer at my childs school. We had to learn the signs. It was a very upsetting class but taught a lot of great information about what to look for
I once broke up with someone that I’d started dating because he was insisting on introducing me to a young child that he mentored through a “big brothers, big sisters” program far sooner than I felt was appropriate. It felt performative to me; as if he was exploiting the relationship he had with the child in order to show me what a good or altruistic person he was because he gave his time to an underprivileged boy. When he suggested the meeting, I asked him why he would expose a young child to someone who might easily disappear from his life, and he didn’t see how that was weird…big enough difference in our outlook regarding protecting innocents that I knew he wasn’t the guy for me😬
@@alaskancoppertop I should hope so! I don’t know what the policies were at the time; this was around 1990/91. But, even if there weren’t those protective policies in place, that decision just seemed All Kinds of WRONG to me😳
I had a coworker with a toddler and a baby. She would jump from boyfriend to boyfriend, never staying with one for more then a few months. She loved to complain that they were useless man-children but would also confess that she liked men who would try to make her into their surrogate mommy because she like playing that role. But the worst part is that as soon as she started dating them she would have them move in with her in under a week or two and have them watching her kids all day while she was at work.
thats terrible. that she dated about the useless man children, but also enjoyed dating them. thats probably why she cant find someone to stay with. she doesnt know what she wants.
I have a younger brother that I'm a carer for, he's got special needs and he may only be 4 years my junior and he may be 6'2 but goddamn if I'm letting someone I don't trust with my life look after him or even meet him in any capacity - My ex and I were together 2 and a bit years before I allowed her to spend 30 minutes alone with him whilst I popped to the shops. No sir-ee, that's a human being whose safety I have been priviledged enough to be entrusted with. I cannot fathom being a parent and allowing a virtual stranger that much access.
Your definitely a great big brother. My oldest grandson is 24 and my youngest grandson is 15. 8 year difference. My 15 year old grandson is special needs..mild form of CP, epilepsy and cluster seizures. He wouldn't even let his fiancee be alone with him the first two years they dated lol. I'm his care giver when his daughter is at work. So I'm relieved that his Brother will be his protector when I'm not here anymore. Your brother is very lucky to have you.
@@Yaya2214CJ I'm a big sister but thanks! 😜 I empathise with your eldest Grandson and yourself - One of my brothers problems is Epilepsy but his is more Absence Seizures with the occasional Grand Mal Seizure. Good on your Grandson for safeguarding his little Brother like that! If this is how he acts now then I'm sure your youngest Grandson is going to be in good hands in the future!☺ You say he's lucky to have me but the truth is I'm lucky to be his Sister - He's always ready with a joke/prank or cheeky comment/insult (Always done in fun, never to be mean!) and although the jokes/pranks/comments and insults get repeated often each day, the joy on his face everytime I pretend to be outraged at the insults (He likes to call me a midget because I'm 5'7 and he's 6'2) 🤣 or I pretend he got me with his little pranks makes everything worth it and never fails to brighten my day... Truth is, I know for a fact I wouldn't be the person I am today if he wasn't in my life. He's a gift from whatever higher power may exist and I'm priviledged to be his Sister.💜💚
@@Yaya2214CJ I'm a Sister but thank-you! 😜 I empathise with you and your eldest Grandson, my little brother too has Epilepsy but he has mostly Absence Seizures and Grand Mal Seizures and good on your eldest Grandson for safeguarding his brother like that! If that's how he acts now then I think you have nothing to worry about in the future! ☺ You say he's lucky to have me but honestly I think it's the other way around, I know for a fact I wouldn't be the person I am today without him.... He's a gift from whatever higher power may exist, that's for sure! Always ready with a joke/prank or a sassy comment/insult (Never done meanly, only ever in jest!) 🤣 He repeats his jokes/sassy comments alot (He likes to call me a midget because I'm 5'7 compared to his 6'2) but the happiness on his face everytime I pretend he got me with a prank or everytime I pretend to be outraged at a sassy comment/insult makes everything worth it, he's a light in the dark IMO and I'm priviledged to be able to say that I'm his big sister.
A bum you've only known for two weeks volunteering to pick up your kid is a isn't just a red flag. It is a massive red battle standard waving in the air whilst a marching bad plays and neon lights flashing. Edited: for clarifications gender does not matter, any sensible person would be uncomfortable picking up another person’s child they just met, and last thirty years how many times I’ve seen a single mom moved a random loser she just met into her home and it not end well. I know several people who were victims of people their parents let around them as children from babysitters (both men and women), boyfriends, someone on hard times, and the list goes on. So do not come me with “He’s could be a nice guy” BS.
Is it really. Because you don't know the context. While I do agree with the safety measures and that you really should know someone longer before you entrust them with the care of your child, why is the automatic assumption that every man is a predator. She could have just mentioned that she had to work late that day and he volunteered because he wasn't working that day. A genuine offer of assistance with no ulterior motive. It was her responasability to say 'That's really sweet and I appreciate it, but while I'm sure I can trust you, we have only known each other two weeks. It's just too soon for that' My point is, it really does depend on the context. And I don't want to be that guy, but would it be a red flag if the genders were reversed. I mean it should be, but I have a feeling most wouldn't think so.
@@iainwhite8617Yes it is really. The reason why this is a red flag is because time and time again men (and it is usually men) have used single mothers to abuse their children in terrible ways that affect that child for the rest of their LIFE. The assumption isn’t that every man IS a predator, the mindset is that every stranger COULD BE a predator, especially to a child. The simple fact is the overwhelming majority of predators happen to be men, women can be as well, but statistics speak for themselves. We were given the context. A man who has only known this woman for two weeks has volunteered to pick up her three year old daughter, who he is not related to. Why on earth would he do volunteer for that when he should be focused on ‘getting back on his feet’ since he’s clearly homeless. So no, it doesn’t depend on the context. And yes, most people would view it as a red flag if the genders were reversed. Anything else?
@ even if the genders were reversed, it’s still a red flag. I get what you’re saying, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. It is possible, if given enough context and exposition, the boyfriend is a good guy. The thing about red flags, people don’t realize/understand, is they do not announce the person in question is bad but the behavior or information given implies something is clearly wrong. Instincts have kicked in, warning us to be on alert. Maybe it’s a false alarm, maybe not. But if you know what to look for during an interaction you can tell a predator a mile away. Unfortunately, predators look for parents like the mother in the skit; naive, lonely, not very good establishing boundaries, trained to ignore their intuition… a tendency towards being neglectful either towards themselves or their children. Maybe have a low IQ. Drug or alcohol abuse is practically a guarantee. I’ve seen it happen too many times in my neighborhood alone.
Even on the chance he's okay and just trying to repay the new girlfriend's kindnesses to him, both he and the mom are ridiculously oblivious to the problem this still is for Maisy. She's being taught to trust and ride in cars with men she hardly knows. A very bad lesson for any little girl.
@EyeLean5280 I agree. That's why I said she had the responsibility to say no, and the staff are right to call this out as a safety issue. I just mean that the boyfriend could be entirely innocent and well meaning, there's no need to automatically assume malicious intent.
My mother (who was young when she had me) had enough braincells to not let me meet the guy she was seeing til they had known each other for around 7-10 months. And he most certainly wasn't on the list of people she trusted to pick me up (because he was nice but also seeing 2 other people). This woman is crazy to go and try to let him pick up her kid he's so "interested in picking up." Those red flags aren't being seen through her rose tinted glasses, MY GOD!
I agree. I can just about see asking a new partner to pick up you child in the case of an extreme emergency, ie someone is dying, and there is no one else able to help, but its madness to move someone you've just met into your home when you have a small child IMO. Letting them pick up the child is almost minor in comparison, and still an awful idea.
Maybe instead of just giving her side eye, someone could explain to Mom how the likelihood of abuse and neglect go up exponentially when someone who isn't biologically related to the child moves into the house.
Even when someone is *biologically* related, that is no guarantee. Plenty of children have unfortunately been abused by aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.
Im naturally naive so i always ask for advice before most things. My sis say before moving in together you should be dating MINIMUM 6 months. And that's not including children
I don't think this has just got red flags around it, its got WARNING!!!!¡!!!!!!! and flashing lights on it. When I 1st met my husband, he never met my children for 8 months and they were 16,17 and 18! We didn't start living together for 15 months. Parents like this put their children at a huge risk
I see so many cases of mom’s new bf abusing her children. She should do a background check and know him much longer to allow him near her precious child.
Sadly this is not a theoretical risk to Maisie. Statistically the greatest risk for a child to be abused is the presence of a non-biological parent living in the home. (Note: I am NOT saying all stepparents are abusive. I'm a stepmother myself and I have known some amazing stepparents. I'm just basing this on statistics.)
And here is the thing, It could actually be a great guy! Maybe a bit oblivious given that he didn't see the problem with his offer to help but still. But it does not matter if he is. Because you don't know that after 2 weeks. And especially the staff at daycare have no reason to trust him yet.
I knew my husband only two weeks before moving to another state, and we have been together for 34 years. I did not have a child at that time, or of course, I wouldn't have made that choice.
My husband and I moved in together after only a couple of months when a roommate situation fell through for him. We're still together but after all this time I now understand how long it really takes to get to know someone and how I was taking a serious chance back then. I would never do that again.
I would not let anyone I have known for less than 2 weeks have access to a child in my care and protection. Man or woman. There is no way to know they are safe that quickly without background checks and multiple references. And moving in THAT fast is a huge red flag.
Me (a very sociable guy who worked in childcare for 12 years -never have dated before) ✍🏼 Do not ask to pick up your gf's kids until months, maybe even years have gone by. Noted. Definitely would not have noticed this would be seen as a red flag. Thanks! Oi.
My mother pulled me out of a daycare when I was little because the workers were incompetent. She came to pick me up, and this older gentleman also appeared to pick up his grandchild. He mentions the child's name, the caretaker walks into the nursery and brings out a child. He very calmly tells the caretaker: "I will tell my daughter not to leave her child with you anymore, since apparently you don't even know who they are." The caretaker had brought the wrong kid! The grandfather also pointed out that they never asked him for his ID or for a note from his daughter that said that it was okay for him to pick up the child (this was back in the 90s when cellphones weren't that common). The caretaker went pale and started stuttering. I don't know what happened after that. I was too young to remember, and my mother decided to leave at that point, so all I know is what she told me.
Oh wow random guy I’ve known for 14 days is moving in with me because he’s ‘in-between’ places, and he just offered to pick up my 3 year old daughter from nursery!!! Sure!!! What a great guy! I’m completely certain there’s no ulterior motive whatsoever, because I just know him so well!!!
I've worked at a daycare. It doesn't even make sense to me the amount of people who let their children stay every day with strangers. Just enroll them and go. People don't really Know the workers when they leave them there.
There's this automatic trust with daycares, because you assume they've vetted the staff and if other people are willing to leave their kids there then it should be fine.
You know that reputable nurseries require their staff to be vetted, right? Bad actors can still slip through the net, but the point is, there is a net.
@MajoradeMayhem I went to daycares to see about getting our 2 year old to be watched just a few hours each week while my husband and I attend college classes and every single daycare, most of the workers were on their phone. People will not care about your child more than you. No amount of money is worth sticking a kid into daycare. It just isn't.
It’s the same as sending a kid to school though. The adults are vetted before working with children. You just place a bit of trust in the institutions and hope that you’re not the rare exception where a bad person slipped through.
Idc how nice they seem. Those are all red flags I’ve experienced when I was a dumb teenager. I didn’t know until later in life, but my mom would get to know someone for months before bringing him around her children… and she ever only brought one guy home after her divorce..
This makes me feel uneasy for 2 separate reasons: - Parent only knows someone for 2 weeks and is entrusting their child. Seems premature. - Daycare management sticking their nose into private business AND threatening to name and shame because of their own bias. Name and shame me in your newsletter and I will be seeing you in court.
You don't introduce your children to your partner until it is serious, like a month before the wedding! Better yet, wait until your children are grown to date! There are oo many sickos out there!
That's because too many ex-spouses run off with children, sometimes even to other countries. If the mom doesn't trust dad enough to put him on the pickup list, there's a reason. My own dad would never have kidnapped me but he was an alcoholic and couldn't be trusted with transportation duties.
even worse, when a sahd tells the school to call him whenever something happens, but the stupid teachers have nothing better to do than bother the mum at work, while they're married and live together 🙄
@@SweetyO666My husband will call the school when a kid is sick and the internal record says, "Mother called in sick." Or he will email the school about one of the kids and they will reply, addressing the email to me... when it's very clearly his email address. It's weird.
No one that you've known for two weeks should have extended access to your children. They shouldn't be on approved pick-up lists either. Could he be a nice guy? Sure. But you can not know how nice and how someone is in 14 days. Certainly not if they are actively trying to hide who they really are from you. Also YES nursery staff can be abusive to children. It has happened. Thats why you should be doing large amounts of research into the places that you're leaving your kids. More that two weeks of googling by the way
It just kept getting worse When it was the title I thought I was gonna be like her dad and they didn’t want to let the dad pick her up and was like unless you have a reason that’s weird And then it kept getting worse
The problem with this is that no body properly explains to them what is what with letting a stranger pick up your kid. Not everyone has common sense. That being said the same applies to themselves as just because you work with children doesn’t make you a safe person to be around either. Predators are often found in child care systems. Because as much as they think they mean well all it’s going to do is teach the next person to lie about their situation.
I might be that person 😂 not the mom, the boyfriend. well, maybe the mom too but I would know at least a tiny bit better than that but the boyfriend? totally me. If an airhead I had known for one day asked me to pick up their child from the nursery I would. I would probably offer myself. I see a mom with her baby, I just wanna cuddle the baby. We can with dogs so why babies are a big no? I'll give it back in a minute 😂 I am soooo ending up killed by someone's parents. 😅
An airhead who was willing to give her child to a stranger after one day is playing Russian roulette. The fact that you're not dangerous is a matter of luck, not good judgement.
@mamadragonful I know 😅. I have been told I live in a fantasy world. Just think how nice it would be if someone came and told you "hey, if you can't pick up your kid tonight I'll take them, give me the keys to your home so I can put them to bed"... and that's exactly what happens. I know it will never be like that but just imagine.
Releasing a child to someone the person paying you says to is child endangerment but not letting people not pay attention in their job where children's needs are paramount. Lmao. Also this screwed up fantasy of destroying someone's naivity in such a nasty way... Yeah.. surely it's only the mom that's the problem. I wouldn't want half the staff taking care of my kid. Pregnant doesn't mean you aren't a POS or give a free pass, would be worried how horrid she's being to the young kids. I had so many psycho women be abusive and have it excused when i was a kid because they were pregnant.
@@blackbearcj5819 yeah I’m not gonna lie the judgemental attitude and the frankly what feels like sexist assumptions would be a way bigger red flag to me than “my new boyfriend wants to do me a favour and be involved with my children’s lives when he’s moving in.” I really do wonder if they’d be as scrutinising if it was a new female ‘best friend’ or housemate coming to do the pick up.
@@LovingmadjomWhile it’s true people don’t tend to be cautious enough with women around kids, the skit seemed pretty clear to me that the problem was the length of time they’d known each other and not the fact it was a man. They even made a point of comparing it to relationships the women had had with each other, which is a pretty clear way of saying “I wouldn’t let a girlfriend do this either.”
@@hunterlawrence3573 Yeah, but being aggressive makes people defensive and even less likely to listen. The mom might even find a completely different daycare that won't ask questions. Being kind and gentle helps more.
It's amazing how a man being interested in meeting amd being involved with a girlfriends children is a red flag and a guy not being that way is also a red flag.
I’m not entirely sure I see the difference between leaving your child with a man you’ve known 2 weeks and leaving your child with a babysitter you’ve known for hours at best? As long as they’re documented to be with that person, it seems like a pretty common thing? I’m legitimately confused what the difference here is.
Because ideally you’re checking the babysitter’s qualifications and interviewing them well in advance of them actually babysitting. Dating someone for two weeks is nowhere near as rigorous and leaves a lot of room for danger if you suddenly let them look after your kid.
@@TheColorHopeIsBlue I mean , I know in the past people tended to just like...find a babysitter advertisement and go for it with very little other information beyond meeting the person for a vibe check, even trusting highschoolers with the job. Lots of casual babysitters didn't even have qualifications. Maybe it's different these days? IDK I can see the other redflags, but considering he lives with you and you know his name and likely any vehicle he has access to, you've likely spent several dozen of hours in close proximity with the person, and have witnessed how they interact with your kid, it really doesn't seem THAT much riskier than leaving them with a stranger you've interviewed once. I dunno, I just feel like if this person was a woman the mother had met 2 weeks ago and had spent almost every day with since, declaring her her new best friend rather than partner, nobody would even raise an eyebrow unless she was visibly unsettling (And this is coming from someone who considers themself feminist) But I don't actually have kids so maybe I'm wrong there.
@@LovingmadjomEven in middle school we got babysitting licenses before getting babysitting jobs. (My middle school had an elective that earned you one, but babysitting classes can be taken elsewhere). So yeah, even if the person coming to watch your kid is a teenager, you make sure they’re qualified first.
@@hunterlawrence3573 I know you CAN get babysitting qualifications as a teen, l (I actually did, though I've forgotten all of it after over a decade, and never actually babysat any kids) but It's not a requirement to be a babysitter, just a plus for your resume that might get you more work. There are still plenty of working babysitters who don't have those qualifications, and as far as I know, there's no legal requirement to make sure those qualifications are legit? So most of it is just trusting that the person learned/retained anything from that and it's not just a box to check? Like sure I agree it's probably safer to pick a babysitter who's taken a babysitter course, but there's no requirement for it at all, and I doubt the people in this skit would ask to see the qualifications or even question it if she'd just said said their babysitter was going to pick up the child.
I feel like I just stumbled upon a mid-season episode of a long running sitcom set in a daycare
Same, I think it is a cannon series
sameeee
You have this series is wild and better than network tv. I LOVE IT!
Correct
This woman has been blessed by never having had anything bad happen.
Or cursed.
And never having heard about bad things happening
Or being so naive she never noticed when it did 🤷♀️
Honestly more childcare professionals should be like this. I would NEVER let a person I'd only known 2 weeks around my kids, thats fucking insane 🤦
Every daycare and primary school in my area are like this. Very, VERY firm rules about how an adult needs substantial connection to a child to be released to them. Too meant kids end up abused or disappeared with someone a parent or grandparent thought was trustworthy.
@@KatieCottingham Kids are more likely to get abused by someone they know well lmao
@@blackbearcj5819 That is true, but that does include step parents like in the video, and more likely doesn't mean always.
I remember parents got divorced and ma's boyfriends. We lucked out on them being ok, some funny even.
thats the parents call to make. the parent said its what she wanted.
So realistic that even after it's been pointed out to her, Maisy's mom still has zero idea what a stupid chance she's taking with her child's safety.
because she isnt taking any special risk. ffs,
@@DellikkilleD Jeez, I hope you don't have kids.
Almost all cases of CSA are committed by people who the child knows & trusts. Teach your kid how to speak out about abuse, because you cannot truly trust ANYONE in this world.
Heavily second this
I feel like so much CSA happens and people get away with it because people think “we can’t teach children about sex!” But then all they learn about it is from the abuser, who obviously teaches them incorrect things.
Absolutely! Predators almost always get very close to families and go out of their way to seem trustworthy and gain the families trust so they can manipulate a child into thinking no one will believe them and for easy access. I had to take a whole class on this in order to volunteer at my childs school. We had to learn the signs. It was a very upsetting class but taught a lot of great information about what to look for
I once broke up with someone that I’d started dating because he was insisting on introducing me to a young child that he mentored through a “big brothers, big sisters” program far sooner than I felt was appropriate. It felt performative to me; as if he was exploiting the relationship he had with the child in order to show me what a good or altruistic person he was because he gave his time to an underprivileged boy. When he suggested the meeting, I asked him why he would expose a young child to someone who might easily disappear from his life, and he didn’t see how that was weird…big enough difference in our outlook regarding protecting innocents that I knew he wasn’t the guy for me😬
Those kinds of programs also usually have rules about other adults not part of the program not being allowed around the kids.
@@alaskancoppertop I should hope so! I don’t know what the policies were at the time; this was around 1990/91. But, even if there weren’t those protective policies in place, that decision just seemed All Kinds of WRONG to me😳
Ewewew
I had a coworker with a toddler and a baby. She would jump from boyfriend to boyfriend, never staying with one for more then a few months. She loved to complain that they were useless man-children but would also confess that she liked men who would try to make her into their surrogate mommy because she like playing that role. But the worst part is that as soon as she started dating them she would have them move in with her in under a week or two and have them watching her kids all day while she was at work.
thats terrible. that she dated about the useless man children, but also enjoyed dating them. thats probably why she cant find someone to stay with. she doesnt know what she wants.
Free child care
That’s so frightening
@@nickorange4881 That's actually a really good point, about not knowing what she wants.
I have a younger brother that I'm a carer for, he's got special needs and he may only be 4 years my junior and he may be 6'2 but goddamn if I'm letting someone I don't trust with my life look after him or even meet him in any capacity - My ex and I were together 2 and a bit years before I allowed her to spend 30 minutes alone with him whilst I popped to the shops. No sir-ee, that's a human being whose safety I have been priviledged enough to be entrusted with. I cannot fathom being a parent and allowing a virtual stranger that much access.
Your definitely a great big brother. My oldest grandson is 24 and my youngest grandson is 15. 8 year difference. My 15 year old grandson is special needs..mild form of CP, epilepsy and cluster seizures. He wouldn't even let his fiancee be alone with him the first two years they dated lol. I'm his care giver when his daughter is at work. So I'm relieved that his Brother will be his protector when I'm not here anymore. Your brother is very lucky to have you.
@@Yaya2214CJ I'm a big sister but thanks! 😜 I empathise with your eldest Grandson and yourself - One of my brothers problems is Epilepsy but his is more Absence Seizures with the occasional Grand Mal Seizure. Good on your Grandson for safeguarding his little Brother like that! If this is how he acts now then I'm sure your youngest Grandson is going to be in good hands in the future!☺ You say he's lucky to have me but the truth is I'm lucky to be his Sister - He's always ready with a joke/prank or cheeky comment/insult (Always done in fun, never to be mean!) and although the jokes/pranks/comments and insults get repeated often each day, the joy on his face everytime I pretend to be outraged at the insults (He likes to call me a midget because I'm 5'7 and he's 6'2) 🤣 or I pretend he got me with his little pranks makes everything worth it and never fails to brighten my day... Truth is, I know for a fact I wouldn't be the person I am today if he wasn't in my life. He's a gift from whatever higher power may exist and I'm priviledged to be his Sister.💜💚
@@Yaya2214CJ I'm a Sister but thank-you! 😜 I empathise with you and your eldest Grandson, my little brother too has Epilepsy but he has mostly Absence Seizures and Grand Mal Seizures and good on your eldest Grandson for safeguarding his brother like that! If that's how he acts now then I think you have nothing to worry about in the future! ☺ You say he's lucky to have me but honestly I think it's the other way around, I know for a fact I wouldn't be the person I am today without him.... He's a gift from whatever higher power may exist, that's for sure! Always ready with a joke/prank or a sassy comment/insult (Never done meanly, only ever in jest!) 🤣 He repeats his jokes/sassy comments alot (He likes to call me a midget because I'm 5'7 compared to his 6'2) but the happiness on his face everytime I pretend he got me with a prank or everytime I pretend to be outraged at a sassy comment/insult makes everything worth it, he's a light in the dark IMO and I'm priviledged to be able to say that I'm his big sister.
2 years you're fucking daffy
A bum you've only known for two weeks volunteering to pick up your kid is a isn't just a red flag. It is a massive red battle standard waving in the air whilst a marching bad plays and neon lights flashing.
Edited: for clarifications gender does not matter, any sensible person would be uncomfortable picking up another person’s child they just met, and last thirty years how many times I’ve seen a single mom moved a random loser she just met into her home and it not end well. I know several people who were victims of people their parents let around them as children from babysitters (both men and women), boyfriends, someone on hard times, and the list goes on. So do not come me with “He’s could be a nice guy” BS.
Is it really. Because you don't know the context. While I do agree with the safety measures and that you really should know someone longer before you entrust them with the care of your child, why is the automatic assumption that every man is a predator. She could have just mentioned that she had to work late that day and he volunteered because he wasn't working that day. A genuine offer of assistance with no ulterior motive. It was her responasability to say 'That's really sweet and I appreciate it, but while I'm sure I can trust you, we have only known each other two weeks. It's just too soon for that'
My point is, it really does depend on the context. And I don't want to be that guy, but would it be a red flag if the genders were reversed. I mean it should be, but I have a feeling most wouldn't think so.
@@iainwhite8617Yes it is really.
The reason why this is a red flag is because time and time again men (and it is usually men) have used single mothers to abuse their children in terrible ways that affect that child for the rest of their LIFE.
The assumption isn’t that every man IS a predator, the mindset is that every stranger COULD BE a predator, especially to a child. The simple fact is the overwhelming majority of predators happen to be men, women can be as well, but statistics speak for themselves.
We were given the context. A man who has only known this woman for two weeks has volunteered to pick up her three year old daughter, who he is not related to. Why on earth would he do volunteer for that when he should be focused on ‘getting back on his feet’ since he’s clearly homeless.
So no, it doesn’t depend on the context. And yes, most people would view it as a red flag if the genders were reversed.
Anything else?
@ even if the genders were reversed, it’s still a red flag. I get what you’re saying, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. It is possible, if given enough context and exposition, the boyfriend is a good guy. The thing about red flags, people don’t realize/understand, is they do not announce the person in question is bad but the behavior or information given implies something is clearly wrong. Instincts have kicked in, warning us to be on alert. Maybe it’s a false alarm, maybe not. But if you know what to look for during an interaction you can tell a predator a mile away.
Unfortunately, predators look for parents like the mother in the skit; naive, lonely, not very good establishing boundaries, trained to ignore their intuition… a tendency towards being neglectful either towards themselves or their children. Maybe have a low IQ. Drug or alcohol abuse is practically a guarantee. I’ve seen it happen too many times in my neighborhood alone.
Even on the chance he's okay and just trying to repay the new girlfriend's kindnesses to him, both he and the mom are ridiculously oblivious to the problem this still is for Maisy. She's being taught to trust and ride in cars with men she hardly knows. A very bad lesson for any little girl.
@EyeLean5280 I agree. That's why I said she had the responsibility to say no, and the staff are right to call this out as a safety issue. I just mean that the boyfriend could be entirely innocent and well meaning, there's no need to automatically assume malicious intent.
My mother (who was young when she had me) had enough braincells to not let me meet the guy she was seeing til they had known each other for around 7-10 months. And he most certainly wasn't on the list of people she trusted to pick me up (because he was nice but also seeing 2 other people). This woman is crazy to go and try to let him pick up her kid he's so "interested in picking up." Those red flags aren't being seen through her rose tinted glasses, MY GOD!
Red flags were waving before that part but after she said that they were just waving even harder.
a youtuber i saw mentioned this. but though rose tinted glasses. they just look like flags.
I don’t care if people disagree with me, this should be classified as neglect and there for illegal and reportable
I agree with you 2000%!! Former Peds nurse here, sister-in-law is a social worker for CPS. Between us we could write book about situations like this.
I agree. I can just about see asking a new partner to pick up you child in the case of an extreme emergency, ie someone is dying, and there is no one else able to help, but its madness to move someone you've just met into your home when you have a small child IMO. Letting them pick up the child is almost minor in comparison, and still an awful idea.
Wait until she finds out when her child is 20 that her boyfriend was actually more interested in her child than he was her...
THANK YOU! I say this as a licensed therapist who specializes in child and adolescent care.
Maybe instead of just giving her side eye, someone could explain to Mom how the likelihood of abuse and neglect go up exponentially when someone who isn't biologically related to the child moves into the house.
Even when someone is *biologically* related, that is no guarantee. Plenty of children have unfortunately been abused by aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.
You have a point though you forget most abuse is done by a relative of the child.
She's twitterpated with the guy. She'd never be able to hear it.
She is a grown adult frankly I think she needs to be able to stop and think about it for barely a second as to why it's a safety concern.
@@theburgerking1236 Some people are extremely sheltered. I've known a couple.
Im naturally naive so i always ask for advice before most things. My sis say before moving in together you should be dating MINIMUM 6 months. And that's not including children
Agreed, and if a woman does have any children the minimum goes up to 18 months. Two years is better.
I don't think this has just got red flags around it, its got WARNING!!!!¡!!!!!!! and flashing lights on it.
When I 1st met my husband, he never met my children for 8 months and they were 16,17 and 18! We didn't start living together for 15 months.
Parents like this put their children at a huge risk
Really?! You'd not catch me acting like Siobhan there - the tea's PIPING hot and I want ALL of it
I see so many cases of mom’s new bf abusing her children. She should do a background check and know him much longer to allow him near her precious child.
Also wouldn’t allow a woman I’ve known for 2 weeks either. Nope! No one. Period.
Marjorie handing over Maise's mom to Autumn so Aut could let off some steam has me cackling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You have just appeared in my algorithms and already I am hooked. Love all the characters and wardrobe swaps, voice changes etc. So I subscribed.
Same here I'm going through the back catalog but it seems like there's tons of missing videos?
0:30 CHRIST. M’am is just asking for her kid to be kidnapped or worse….
I need a part 2 for this one. I'm on edge of my seat here! I was like, ooooh! Get her! Get this woman!
Sadly this is not a theoretical risk to Maisie. Statistically the greatest risk for a child to be abused is the presence of a non-biological parent living in the home. (Note: I am NOT saying all stepparents are abusive. I'm a stepmother myself and I have known some amazing stepparents. I'm just basing this on statistics.)
And here is the thing, It could actually be a great guy! Maybe a bit oblivious given that he didn't see the problem with his offer to help but still. But it does not matter if he is. Because you don't know that after 2 weeks. And especially the staff at daycare have no reason to trust him yet.
I would want to be a fly on the wall when Marjorie lets loose! Terrifying that parents like this do exist.
I knew my husband only two weeks before moving to another state, and we have been together for 34 years. I did not have a child at that time, or of course, I wouldn't have made that choice.
My husband and I moved in together after only a couple of months when a roommate situation fell through for him. We're still together but after all this time I now understand how long it really takes to get to know someone and how I was taking a serious chance back then. I would never do that again.
The acting is superb this was a whiplash of so many different characters bravo.
Were has this delicious drama been hiding during all my youtube rabbit-hole foray today? Across the pond askes for more lovelies like this one!
Maisie's mum is very naive. Means well but very naive.
I would not let anyone I have known for less than 2 weeks have access to a child in my care and protection. Man or woman. There is no way to know they are safe that quickly without background checks and multiple references. And moving in THAT fast is a huge red flag.
Me (a very sociable guy who worked in childcare for 12 years -never have dated before) ✍🏼 Do not ask to pick up your gf's kids until months, maybe even years have gone by.
Noted. Definitely would not have noticed this would be seen as a red flag. Thanks! Oi.
Marjorie is MESSY
Noo! It can’t end there! This woman needs a reality check and I wanna see it😂
Wow at the end, even Siobahn was like, I'm getting out of the blast radius, this is not going to be pretty.
The OOOOOOHHHHHHH pitch getting higher and higher is accurate af lol
Oh so he is a "nice guy", it's allright then! Or not.
if i ever dated a person with children id never insist on meeting them. youre the parent abd you know whats besr for your child.
I felt as if Alistair Sims was nearby.
Absolutely NOT picking up
Your kid. Nope!
My mother pulled me out of a daycare when I was little because the workers were incompetent.
She came to pick me up, and this older gentleman also appeared to pick up his grandchild. He mentions the child's name, the caretaker walks into the nursery and brings out a child.
He very calmly tells the caretaker: "I will tell my daughter not to leave her child with you anymore, since apparently you don't even know who they are."
The caretaker had brought the wrong kid! The grandfather also pointed out that they never asked him for his ID or for a note from his daughter that said that it was okay for him to pick up the child (this was back in the 90s when cellphones weren't that common). The caretaker went pale and started stuttering.
I don't know what happened after that. I was too young to remember, and my mother decided to leave at that point, so all I know is what she told me.
Oh wow random guy I’ve known for 14 days is moving in with me because he’s ‘in-between’ places, and he just offered to pick up my 3 year old daughter from nursery!!! Sure!!! What a great guy! I’m completely certain there’s no ulterior motive whatsoever, because I just know him so well!!!
I've worked at a daycare. It doesn't even make sense to me the amount of people who let their children stay every day with strangers. Just enroll them and go. People don't really Know the workers when they leave them there.
There's this automatic trust with daycares, because you assume they've vetted the staff and if other people are willing to leave their kids there then it should be fine.
You know that reputable nurseries require their staff to be vetted, right? Bad actors can still slip through the net, but the point is, there is a net.
At least the workers are supervised and approved for working with children. A stranger us exactly that.
@MajoradeMayhem I went to daycares to see about getting our 2 year old to be watched just a few hours each week while my husband and I attend college classes and every single daycare, most of the workers were on their phone.
People will not care about your child more than you. No amount of money is worth sticking a kid into daycare. It just isn't.
It’s the same as sending a kid to school though. The adults are vetted before working with children. You just place a bit of trust in the institutions and hope that you’re not the rare exception where a bad person slipped through.
Idc how nice they seem. Those are all red flags I’ve experienced when I was a dumb teenager. I didn’t know until later in life, but my mom would get to know someone for months before bringing him around her children… and she ever only brought one guy home after her divorce..
This makes me feel uneasy for 2 separate reasons:
- Parent only knows someone for 2 weeks and is entrusting their child. Seems premature.
- Daycare management sticking their nose into private business AND threatening to name and shame because of their own bias. Name and shame me in your newsletter and I will be seeing you in court.
You don't introduce your children to your partner until it is serious, like a month before the wedding! Better yet, wait until your children are grown to date! There are oo many sickos out there!
This I understand, but there are too many cases where the nursery or school won't let the frigging _father_ pick up the kid.
That's because too many ex-spouses run off with children, sometimes even to other countries. If the mom doesn't trust dad enough to put him on the pickup list, there's a reason. My own dad would never have kidnapped me but he was an alcoholic and couldn't be trusted with transportation duties.
even worse, when a sahd tells the school to call him whenever something happens, but the stupid teachers have nothing better to do than bother the mum at work, while they're married and live together 🙄
@@SweetyO666My husband will call the school when a kid is sick and the internal record says, "Mother called in sick." Or he will email the school about one of the kids and they will reply, addressing the email to me... when it's very clearly his email address. It's weird.
Part 2!! We need a part 2!! Please!
No one that you've known for two weeks should have extended access to your children. They shouldn't be on approved pick-up lists either. Could he be a nice guy? Sure. But you can not know how nice and how someone is in 14 days. Certainly not if they are actively trying to hide who they really are from you.
Also YES nursery staff can be abusive to children. It has happened. Thats why you should be doing large amounts of research into the places that you're leaving your kids. More that two weeks of googling by the way
I don't think she's going to need to eat, because that mom is going to get chewed out! XDDD
It just kept getting worse
When it was the title I thought I was gonna be like her dad and they didn’t want to let the dad pick her up and was like unless you have a reason that’s weird
And then it kept getting worse
The problem with this is that no body properly explains to them what is what with letting a stranger pick up your kid. Not everyone has common sense. That being said the same applies to themselves as just because you work with children doesn’t make you a safe person to be around either. Predators are often found in child care systems. Because as much as they think they mean well all it’s going to do is teach the next person to lie about their situation.
I might be that person 😂
not the mom, the boyfriend.
well, maybe the mom too but I would know at least a tiny bit better than that
but the boyfriend? totally me. If an airhead I had known for one day asked me to pick up their child from the nursery I would. I would probably offer myself. I see a mom with her baby, I just wanna cuddle the baby. We can with dogs so why babies are a big no? I'll give it back in a minute 😂
I am soooo ending up killed by someone's parents. 😅
An airhead who was willing to give her child to a stranger after one day is playing Russian roulette. The fact that you're not dangerous is a matter of luck, not good judgement.
@mamadragonful I know 😅. I have been told I live in a fantasy world. Just think how nice it would be if someone came and told you "hey, if you can't pick up your kid tonight I'll take them, give me the keys to your home so I can put them to bed"... and that's exactly what happens.
I know it will never be like that but just imagine.
@@wisteria3032 Oh, it will USUALLY be that way. Upwards of 80 percent of the time. The problem it, a 20% disaster rate is unacceptably high.
Oh poor autumn
Sounds like a plot to a Steve Wilkos episode.
I deleted tiktok a couple years ago I’m so delighted to see the gang again :)
Releasing a child to someone the person paying you says to is child endangerment but not letting people not pay attention in their job where children's needs are paramount. Lmao. Also this screwed up fantasy of destroying someone's naivity in such a nasty way... Yeah.. surely it's only the mom that's the problem. I wouldn't want half the staff taking care of my kid. Pregnant doesn't mean you aren't a POS or give a free pass, would be worried how horrid she's being to the young kids. I had so many psycho women be abusive and have it excused when i was a kid because they were pregnant.
@@blackbearcj5819 yeah I’m not gonna lie the judgemental attitude and the frankly what feels like sexist assumptions would be a way bigger red flag to me than “my new boyfriend wants to do me a favour and be involved with my children’s lives when he’s moving in.”
I really do wonder if they’d be as scrutinising if it was a new female ‘best friend’ or housemate coming to do the pick up.
@@LovingmadjomWhile it’s true people don’t tend to be cautious enough with women around kids, the skit seemed pretty clear to me that the problem was the length of time they’d known each other and not the fact it was a man. They even made a point of comparing it to relationships the women had had with each other, which is a pretty clear way of saying “I wouldn’t let a girlfriend do this either.”
@@hunterlawrence3573 Yeah, but being aggressive makes people defensive and even less likely to listen. The mom might even find a completely different daycare that won't ask questions. Being kind and gentle helps more.
@ That's a good point, but that's not really relevant to what I was saying?
Ugh... I've had this kind of drama in the family before and it is NOT pleasant
OF COURSE HIS NAME IS JARED
Don't care if he was sent to the facility by God himself. He isn't on the list.
🚩🚩🚩
Id be asking for more details aboit the guy and get police to check him out
You're here!! I've missed you from tiktok! ❤
Yep agree with childcare sorry not sorry
Most SA happens from parents Bfs and Gfs... just saying
“Single parent’s significant other” is up there with “teacher,” “counselor,” and “priest.”
It's amazing how a man being interested in meeting amd being involved with a girlfriends children is a red flag and a guy not being that way is also a red flag.
Please don’t make this some woke thing. A partner of two weeks can’t drive off with the kid alone.
@badger6882 irrelevant to my point
@Nym146your whole comment was irrelevant to the video?? of course the person going back on track is irrelevant to your point
@rat3138 Oh, I didn't didn't realise I had to comment exactly what you wanted me too. 👍
Legal and smart aren't the same
I’m not entirely sure I see the difference between leaving your child with a man you’ve known 2 weeks and leaving your child with a babysitter you’ve known for hours at best?
As long as they’re documented to be with that person, it seems like a pretty common thing?
I’m legitimately confused what the difference here is.
Because ideally you’re checking the babysitter’s qualifications and interviewing them well in advance of them actually babysitting. Dating someone for two weeks is nowhere near as rigorous and leaves a lot of room for danger if you suddenly let them look after your kid.
@@TheColorHopeIsBlue I mean , I know in the past people tended to just like...find a babysitter advertisement and go for it with very little other information beyond meeting the person for a vibe check, even trusting highschoolers with the job. Lots of casual babysitters didn't even have qualifications.
Maybe it's different these days?
IDK I can see the other redflags, but considering he lives with you and you know his name and likely any vehicle he has access to, you've likely spent several dozen of hours in close proximity with the person, and have witnessed how they interact with your kid, it really doesn't seem THAT much riskier than leaving them with a stranger you've interviewed once.
I dunno, I just feel like if this person was a woman the mother had met 2 weeks ago and had spent almost every day with since, declaring her her new best friend rather than partner, nobody would even raise an eyebrow unless she was visibly unsettling (And this is coming from someone who considers themself feminist) But I don't actually have kids so maybe I'm wrong there.
@@LovingmadjomEven in middle school we got babysitting licenses before getting babysitting jobs. (My middle school had an elective that earned you one, but babysitting classes can be taken elsewhere). So yeah, even if the person coming to watch your kid is a teenager, you make sure they’re qualified first.
@@hunterlawrence3573 I know you CAN get babysitting qualifications as a teen, l (I actually did, though I've forgotten all of it after over a decade, and never actually babysat any kids) but It's not a requirement to be a babysitter, just a plus for your resume that might get you more work. There are still plenty of working babysitters who don't have those qualifications, and as far as I know, there's no legal requirement to make sure those qualifications are legit?
So most of it is just trusting that the person learned/retained anything from that and it's not just a box to check? Like sure I agree it's probably safer to pick a babysitter who's taken a babysitter course, but there's no requirement for it at all, and I doubt the people in this skit would ask to see the qualifications or even question it if she'd just said said their babysitter was going to pick up the child.
Not a red flag at all.
They’re overstepping.
Better safe than sorry, and this whole situation is fishy