(I am diagnosed with DID) I'll keep saying this until people actually start listening - nothing about us without us. You cannot accurately portray disorders you don't experience. You can write about it, but you need to include the opinions of people who do experience it, because they are always going to be better at picking out what's a harmful portrayal.
@@notlurking2128 I hope this is alright to ask, but as someone who enjoys writing stories, I want to be able to do this correctly. When discussing experiences with a system, should we ask/interview more than one alter in a system? I imagine each experience is unique and I want to make sure the portrayal is accurate and respectful. Or would one be able to represent for the others?
@@JJayTheGoat Thank you for being so respectful. Every system is different, but as a general rule I would try to interview more than one alter per system. This is because, though not definitive, alters tend to have 'roles' like Host, Persecutor, Protector, ECT. So if you're writing a system and you write a perspective of a "protector", but you have only interviewed a "host" you might miss out on some nuance that a protector would have shared that the host does not know about. Of course, this is extremely generalised, so I'd take it on a case by case basis and what the system is comfortable with.
@@JJayTheGoat also be very careful who you interview, tiktok has currently popularized faking DID. The fakedisorderscringe subreddit actually has a lot of good info on the legal requirements to meet for a DID diagnosis as well as general red flags to look for. (Must be at least 18, though generally it’s 20’s on, having more than a 8 or 9 alters, people claiming DID without having had deep childhood trauma, etc.) Good luck!
Intrusive thoughts in mothers, especially shortly after giving birth, is often attributed to the brain obsessing over FEARS we have around caring for our children. Because we fear bad things happening to them, our brain tries to rationalize the worst case scenario of what our kid could experience and of course the worst case scenario would be us, the parents, purposefully or unintentionally inflicting harm. Just want to make that clear to any parents and mothers currently suffering through intrusive thoughts or who might have them in the future. These thoughts are NOT our desires, they are our worst nightmares that our brain is struggling to cope with. It is not a reflection on you as a person, it shows you have a very empathetic nature in the way your mind is creating scenarios so that you can avoid them. Stay strong, it gets better.
If anyone is experiencing postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis please seek professional help. There are a multitude of reasons you may be experiencing these symptoms.
This! My mother only deals with anxiety/depression. The intrusive thoughts she had after my birth terrified her. Going as far as breaking down while telling nurses. It's a common experience after giving birth. What makes you a "bad" person is if they're acted on. She only told me about it when I was 20yrs old. It was a sweet moment to confirm to her that it wasn't her fault. Didn't change our relationship or how I thought of her.
@@sunflower4500 People who use this phrase are predominantly far right and tend to hold beliefs that are mostly if not exclusively beneficial to cisgender heterosexual white people (mostly white men)
Literally like wow it’s so convenient that the only person who could possibly have had a problem with it was conveniently not giving feedback like everyone else and conveniently only said something the second it was too late. Sure ma’am. That definitely happened.
Tik tok has ruined books. I get tired of people popularising shitty low quality books because they’re ‘spicy’ and controversial! Whenever i go to a bookstore and see a ‘Booktok’ section i want to commit society Can we start popularising unique books that are ACTUALLY good?!
When the market refuses to support you because you produce trash? You haven't been cancelled. I don't buy cruddy paper towels, badly made clothes, or hateful books. And I tell others, "Hey, don't buy those paper towels, those clothes, or that book." That's not cancellation. That's the market at work.
the industry silences marginalized creators often by saying "its good, but marketing this is risky" but brandi wouldnt know what thats like lol. canceling implies support has been withdrawn. u have to have support for support to be withdrawn.
Cancel culture is when you go a bit further than that and start 'punishing' people who do choose to speak out in support of, or continue to support someone by platforming them or buying their product and/or selling their project, using intimidation, shame, and other tactics to make people afraid to decide for themselves. That, is unacceptable. Just choosing not to support them yourself and recommending (but still respecting the rights of others to do whatever THEY feel is right, including giving good reviews, or offering an alternative perspective) that they don't use this product either is just fine. Consider what happened to Sharon Osbourne, when she stood up for Piers Morgan, her friend - THAT was a toxic example of cancel culture.
Agreed. There are so many people experiencing this type of thing and calling it cancelation, and it's not, dude. They're just not a great actor, or the trend has moved away from them, or they're writing books to a niche audience who don't really like the writing ... the list goes on.
24:50 "I'm a liberal with all of the according views" is a perfect way to sum up how neo-liberals view activism. They think that voting blue and supporting the concept of gay marriage absolves them of all guilt for the actual harm that they do. It doesn't matter what "views" you hold when your actions actively harm marginalized people. Especially when you are PROFITTING from those actions. Praxis matters. Your " views " don't mean anything unless you put them into practice.
You’re my hero for saying this. I couldn’t begin to explain why her calling herself a liberal annoyed the fuck out of me, but it did. You summed it up perfectly. Clearly, she doesn’t understand the history of liberalism (classical and neo). Like a lot of other Americans, brandi thinks simply referring to herself as a liberal is enough to get people off her back. And that we’ll just assume she’s super progressive, despite progressivism and liberalism not being the same thing. Then there’s the fact that liberalism means something entirely different in other countries like the UK, Germany, etc. I suppose she really is a liberal, if she holds the same beliefs as jk rowling for instance.
when she said "a liberal with all of the according views" my eyes rolled so hard they fell out of my head. people who say stuff like that clearly don't have "all of the according views", or likely even know what they are
Usually, the ones who complain the most about “cancel culture” would never in a million years lift a finger to help The Dixie Chicks or Colin Kaepernick. What happened to Brandi wasn’t “cancel culture”. It’s the natural consequences of bad behavior. It’s how life works. Rachel, you have every right in the world to be pissed off at her. I too am angry about how she hurt so many people with her carelessness. Google is free and sensitivity readers are worth paying for! As for you, Rachel…digital hugs from Washington State.
She could have literally just googled “(xyz marginalized people) stereotypes” and avoided those things! It wouldn’t make it good but it sure would be better!
I hate, hate, hate when people act like they are such a better person because they are able to "forgive". Like, can we just admit that forgiveness isn't a magic fix all and there are things that are rightfully unforgivable?
literally!! i am not a bad person for not forgiving people who did long-term damage to me. i don't owe them that at all. i HATE this narrative that forgiveness is a thing that everyone should hand out in every situation - you just put it into way better words than i was ever able to.
What’s “dark romance”? Sexual violence against women? I don’t get why some whites have a problem that use disorders like this in books but think it’s A-Ok to write violent, misogynistic sexual fantasies targeting women, under the guise of “freedom” and “kinks”. No, shame both.
to actually write that OCD would cause you to hurt your child - it’s sickening. I also have OCD and intrusive thoughts and I literally have struggled for YEARS. This is written by someone who doesn’t understand intrusive thoughts and it’s SICKENING. Rachel I hear you. Even good OCD rep triggers me sometimes,I can’t imagine trying to read something like that. Thank you for bringing this to the table.
Art affects society. Art changes as society does. What you read can affect your beliefs. And reading graphic inaccurate representation can affect your health.
Also LOVE how her and multiple news outlets are putting the blame for the backlash strictly on trans people when she offended almost every community in one book
I have OCD and having the idea of someone with OCD *GIVING IN* to something so many of us have (ie. harming children or loved ones) as an intrusive thought is SO INCREDIBLY HARMFUL. To anyone with OCD that’s struggling- you are not your thoughts, intrusive thoughts reflect your biggest fears. They are not a reflection of your morality. You are good. You are safe. You are loved.
@@mglarson5936 pretty much the only thing I heard about this book was some variation of "this author treats mental health so incredibly bad that she literally named one of the places Dementia" like what on earth was going on in her head.
“I was cancelled 😭😭” bestie was getting held accountable for her genuinely awful actions. Her book is not “dark” it is blatantly offensive and cruel and I’m sick of the “dark” genre being an excuse for shitty authors to be shitty people and perpetuate their shitty bigoted and harmful views💩 You can write a grimdark world full of abuse and violence and fear it’s all about how you write it and she didn’t write it well at all.
These kind of people call any criticism “bullying”. It’s another way to avoid responsibility. It gives the same energy as, “It was a joke. Why are *you* so sensitive?”
A good friend of mine has DID, and I've never seen her in any form become violent. There is one side to her that gets quite angry but is never violent. She's ended up staying home most of the time, sadly, because once people find out that she had DID, they react as people usually do. Even her family has largely left her out of their lives, although her husband has stuck by her through thick and thin. He and I and a few other people are her support system, and I'm glad that I can be there for her. One small note - I work with the elderly in an assisted living facility and I've seen people with many kinds of dementia. For someone to use it as a place name really irks me. I've never read any of Szeker's works and I never will if I can help it, and to me, her using the name of a mental disorder as a place name is another example of her insensitivity towards the way things really are with this and the other things she includes in her writings, like DID and child murder. Also, if she couldn't get her book published by a reputable publisher, maybe she needs to try to figure out why. As you said, bad books do get published in the traditional way, but it's probably not as easy, and there might be some not-quite-right reason for this. I'll stop now, or else I'll just go off on a rant, and this is not the place for me to do that. Thanks for sharing this video, and it's helped me to decide to avoid this author. I always appreciate such things. I don't like to support those who get things so horribly wrong and who show an utter lack of respect and compassion for people who suffer.
The "fan casting Sam Claflin" thing is so insulting because you onow that means she sees her character as her series' version of Finnick Odair from THG without understanding anything about Finnick's character. Finnick was a revolutionary character, a man who was trafficked and sold into sex work and experienced CSA, but he uses the pain that caused him to try to change the world so that no one ever has to suffer like he did. And while I'm not going to champion for fictional characters, it does feel like a disservice to Suzanne Collins to see this beloved character she made and then say "but what if he took those harrowing experiences he went through and used them as justification to assault people".
I think what makes me the most mad about the author’s response was that she had the audacity to say “Well none of the beta readers TOLD me that there was anything harmful in the book”. First, the fact that you needed to be told that you had triggering situations and bad representation in your book means you’re horribly under equipped to write about these things. Second, did you bother to hire any beta readers that had experience with any of the traumas or diagnosis you wrote about in your book? Because that’s still your fault for not getting better beta readers when your whole intent is that you want to write about a problematic dystopia.
To the author, this might have been a little cash grab, a fun little thought experiment, but to us - the people with mental health issues - our struggles face us every day, we can't just turn them off and be "normal" when we're fed up with symptoms or get overwhelmed with life. The descriptions in the book make my skin crawl. There is almost a sort of voyeuristic glee in it... as if the author wants to point at us and shout: "HEY LOOK, HEY LOOK AT THE FREAKSHOWS." They make me feel like a zoo animal in a small enclosure for neurotypicals to gawk at us open mouthed or animals at the circus waiting to perform our next "trick". I think I need a break-
You know what my favourite part of her non apology is the blaming of her beta readers. She knew what she had written but she avoids taking accountability by passing the buck. Disgusting behaviour
But also what kind of sycophantic beta readers told her it was fine to go ahead? Either that or they told her about the many other problems but not specifically the anti-trans part and she ignored them. The book is absolutely wretched in every way
@@alisaurus4224 she specifically got beta readers who think awful things about trans and disabled people. She hand picked beta readers who hate these people.
I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and I'm writing an adult fantasy book, and I can tell you there is no instance of ANY character in my book being disgusted by a trans person's body, or assaulted by a trans person, despite the fact that there are several major trans and non-binary characters. Her allyship is BS. Maybe she's rethought things and is a trans ally now, but she certainly wasn't at the time she wrote this book.
The author describing herself as a "Liberal with all the according views" is kind of chilling. What does that mean, ma'am? I don't know much about self-publishing but isnt the point you have control over your "deadlines" etc?
As a disabled Trans Woman who trains organisations on how to work in that intersection for a living . I have never seen less work put into sensitivity or awareness and a less self aware apology. You don't get grace if aren't using the time to fix things and correct the mistake, That's what grace is for .
I think the thing that completely discredits her apology is that she acknowledged becoming aware of major issues before release date. While I understand that the stress of the waste of money of having the books already ready to go, as an aspiring author i would like to think I would have postponed release and took the loss to avoid this kind of harm in her situation. This is also why it is so handy in self publishing that they can be printed through some places on a per order bases so you don’t risk wasted stock
Right?? The way the trigger warnings are worded makes it clear that she knew things were wrong (factually and morally) but decided if she slapped a disclaimer on it that would make it all better. Dumb!
A. Hope you are doing ok now, we care for ya💛 B. The author is exactly how I imagine her, a rich white woman who doesn't care about the way her books affect others and will throw a fit if you criticize her. Edit: not her arse thinking 'canceling' is worse then transphobia 💀💀💀
This is why people say "write what you know". She could have learned about the conditions she wanted to depict BEFORE writing the book. Then she'd already have a solid foundation for the book that isn't based in pure stereotype. Instead, she apparently relied on others to fix the mess she caused and backtrace all the bad stuff in the book.
Also her excuse for not getting the feedback is "yeah we had a tight deadline so I rushed it and sent it off." Regardless of the beta reader going silent, I really don't think this is the kind of story you rush...
This book seems to have the vibes of the first time you try to write at 13 and you write the most shocking thing possible to be “unique.” And then you go on to grow and mature and write much better books.
Honey, I'm so sorry. I recently had a baby on the NICU. I got to take her home in January this year and spent everyday of her two months stint in the hospital hating myself and wondering what I did wrong. I'm so sorry you went through that and that this book triggered those feelings again, I wouldn't want that for the world. I sincerely hope you're doing okay and that this book isn't affecting you anymore. ❤
(tw discussing my mental health, post-partum, and general mental health) I dealt with post-partum psychosis after the birth my son and thinking back to what felt like rational thoughts 16 years on is still hard. It took years to work through and forgive myself for what my mind was saying, what I wanted to do. How it triggered my cptsd in a way I hadn't experienced since I was in high school. I was lucky that I never acted on the intrusive thoughts, that I had a moment of clarity long enough to say something was wrong, even though my ob/gyn was dismissive. It could have been so much worse, and for many people it is. These aren't things to make into a twisted "dark romance". My experiences of CSA, abuse, ED, addiction, these are not playthings. They will never be. I'm sorry if this is rambling, this video hit me hard. I cannot imagine the strength it's taken to make a video on it. Thank you for speaking out and using your platform in this way. Please take time to be kind to yourself. We love you, Rachel 💜
Thank you for being up the “cancel culture” of it all, I am so fucking sick of people complaining about facing the consequences of their own actions!! If people no longer like you or want to support you financially, emotionally, mentally, etc, then they’re within their right to do so!!!
45:36 "can you even imagine being criticised for your awful actions by thousands of people?" No. Brandi, I can't. Because I've never published an awful, harmful book. I can however, understand what it feels like to read articles in newspapers, plots in books like yours, posts on social media etc. that show that countless people out there hate me just because I'm trans. That they see my existence as a problem, that they'd rather I wasn't alive. That awful feeling you experienced as an inevitable response to your bad behaviour, is my and every other trans person's every day existence, and you helped make it worse. Typing this honestly brought me to tears. People need to grow up, and accept criticism from marginalised groups. ❤
Good to know that "Give a man a mask and he will show you who he really is" also applies to women. "Oh, I am not (insert)phobic, the characters and the society in my books are!"
People complaining about being cancelled, are the same people that tell bullied children to "ignore and stay away from the bullies". That is what someone does when they cancel you
The way this book handles OCD and intrusive thoughts it’s just maddening. As someone who does suffer from traumatic intrusive thoughts thank you for talking about it and calling out the immense harm that she is causing with these books.
you don't need to forgive anyone in order to heal... i will never forgive people who hurt me, it doesn't make me a spiteful, mean or bad person that's stuck in the past. stop forcing victims to forgive anyone. especially when the person who hurt them is living lavish but the victim can't even afford mental health help
My mom is a raging narcissist and she told me she has long forgiven herself for the horrendous child abuse against me and my sister because she was doing her best, don't burden yourselves with trying to forgive people who don't deserve anything less than to rot in hell for all eternity.
Following my CSA, I developed extreme intrusive thoughts that were so horrible that I believed I didn't deserve to exist anymore. To see a cishet with no mental illness (that I know of) use an experience that destroyed my life to demonize both people with OCD and transgender people is heartbreaking. Mentally ill people and transgender people are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators, in relation to abuse.
36:00 I’d like to point out that the term “TRA” (trans rights activist) is frequently used as a TERF dogwhistle to refer to trans folks, implying that we’re an “other” who don’t deserve to have our rights fought for & to draw parallels to MRAs. It’s possible it’s used normally elsewhere, but personally I’ve never seen a single trans person use that phrase to refer to ourselves
While I do like to hear about Autors who behave badly, I think you should strongly consider, which books to read and which to skip. No one here will think badly of you if you leave out a bad autor for someone else to cover when the topic at hand is too emotionally harmful for you. Take care!
This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. I was often shamed into reading books that had personal triggers for me because 'they're just books, what harm will they really do'... It was after I had a complete blackout after a panic attack after reading a book that made me realise that I had to take care of myself and not pick up books that bring more harm than good. It was a difficult lesson.
@@TiffWaffles It might have been a difficult lession, but I'm sure it was one worth learning. Hopefully you're better able to keep yourself safe now. Stay strong, you can pull through. I hope you also have friends and family who can help you through a difficult time. Unfortunately, people who don't suffer from panic attacks rarely understand how bad triggers can be and how things that seem harmless to them can affect other people. That's why it's always better to listen to yourself rather than others when it comes to things like this.
Of course The Daily Fail took that stance. I'm so sorry you had to go through this Rachel. I have severe anxiety, a survivor of CSA, and am a mother, the part you struggled to discuss felt so triggering to me too.
The Daily Fail has always been trash. There's a tribe of people on twitter that call tabloid paper that same name and I wholeheartedly agree with the name.
OMG Rachel, I had the same OCD shit going on when my own son was in the NICU! I thought if I don’t get more than X miles away from the hospital he won’t die. If I never laugh at something funny on TV, he won’t die. And on and on. I have never actually heard it said out loud from someone else, and that was 20 years ago. I’m sorry for our pain, but thankful to have heard something I thought I was alone in actually spoken about. ❤️
My fiancée struggles with intrusive thoughts and compulsive tendencies. When we get out of the car, she always tells me to lock it and she has to hear the horn 3 times. She does the same thing at the store, picking “the right one”. She gets frustrated with herself, because she knows that it doesn’t make any real sense but it doesn’t matter. Anxiety says that if the horn doesn’t beep 3 times then something will happen to our car or to us. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this, friend. ❤
I hate how people demonize Ed and ocd. Mine are linked. My ocd makes me obsess with food and harm myself. My face and back are filled with scars from compulsive skin picking. People just tell me to stop. It’s so isolating.
my god i could literally have written this comment myself down to every detail, you are not alone in this!! it's so fucking tough, people don't have even the SLIGHTEST clue of what it's like to live like this every day... sending all the virtual love and strength from this random internet stranger
This kind of make me realize…I’ve never thought it like that…I’ve been suffering from a ED for more than 15 years now…I constantly remove my toenails until it bleeds…I never thought those things could be relate it.. Thanks for sharing.
My ocd is linked with picking and with disordered eating too. It’s so hard to explain to people that my “picky eating” is really my fear or contaminations and once my food is wrong in some way in my brain I can’t eat it anymore.
When she mentioned it had poor OCD rep I was like, 'man, no one knows about OCD except for the perfectionism (OCPD) and obsessive cleaning- Itll be typical misinformation and it'll be fine.' boom. Gut punch. How she even managed to write this I will never know lmao. I've told my partner that when we have a kid I want therapy because I'm so afraid my OCD will act up. I have the 'indecisive if you pick the wrong one someone will get hurt'' compulsion really badly and this with a child sounds soul destroying 😑
I don’t have DID, but I have another trauma disorder and it hurts to see depictions of mental illness causing people to be violent and manipulative. It’s honestly insulting and ignores the reality of mentally ill people being a vulnerable group.
36:18 i dont think ive ever seen "TRAs" used by anyone other than terfs lol, whenever someone uses that its such an obvious tell, and the fact that shes been using it to refer to trans ppl is very sussy
Some people will never truely understand the weight of intrusive thoughts. And the fear you have of someone finding them out and judging you for them OCD is a burden. Random guilt, intrusive thoughts and rituals are a burden Intrusive thoughts attack your morals and try to break you down convincing you that you are dangerous. But you are not, the thoughts aren't you. The disgust you feel towards those thoughts are you. You are a good caring person. Trust me, I know it's hard. But you matter and you aren't alone
Quill, if you see this by any chance, I have a message for you. I support you even though you consider yourself an alter and feel like an impostor. You are a valid part of a whole. I believe that true healing of this divergence can only be achieved when all alters are known, can share cohesively, and agree to work towards a goal of integration of all. I hope you can find guidance towards this transition, and you and your others stay concious and well. Love to you all from a stranger on the internet that is compassionate to this cause!💓
Thank you Rachel and everyone without dissociative disorders speaking up and standing up for us! It’s so hard to see us constantly being villainized and perpetuating misinfo and stereotypes and makes me feel extremely unsafe as a system.
I’m so sorry for everything y’all have to deal with. I hope one day we as a society can move past villainizing and romanticizing disorders and learn to accept people as they are.
as someone with a dissociative disorder, i'm always very heartened by those without one standing up for us and calling out how nasty depictions in media can get. i and many friends were very concerned when the movie split came out a while back as it really leaned into a lot of harmful stereotypes and misinfo and there was a lot of worry about how much that would set awareness/the fight against stigma back, but things like this prove that people are still listening 💝
I don't have DID, but Split really upset me. It really demonstrates that while depression and anxiety having been gaining acceptance, other mental health issues are still extremely stigmatized. It seems like a lot of people think because they pay lip service to mental health that gives them a license to repeat harmful stereotypes.
@@afckingegg7585 exactly. like, I'm glad there's improvement when it comes to some mental health issues (though there's a LONG way to go even with anxiety/depression), so many are still treated like inherent evils. just the way people talk about personality disorders (especially npd, aspd, etc) shows how much work there is to do yet
I’m probably one of the few people who refuses to watch Split because I personally know someone with alters and I’m so fucking tired of every piece of media where someone has multiple personalities portraying them as psycho.
I wanted to sincerely thank you for your strength and courage to tell your story of OCD and postpartum depression. It’s never talked about despite so many people who have brains that tell them to do something bad and 99% of the people never even act it- I would call myself someone who has thoughts or urges but will not act on them. You’re not alone.
I have chronic daily headache and migraine syndrome, which is just a fancy way of saying I have headaches and migraines all the time, and I’d seriously watch a video produced in ambient light so you don’t have a light shining directly in your face. That’s like a nightmare scenario for a migraine. Hope you feel better soon!
before tuning into this channel I had no idea authors were so serious about reviewers. I hate to see how these people harassing you just get away with it. I hope you’re able to keep going on TH-cam despite it all, love this channel so much.
For real!! It really shows how fragile some authors are when it comes to opinions of readers and constructive criticism, especially authors like this one who have poorly written works.
They shouldn’t be writing then because honestly to be so stinking thin skinned in the writing industry? They’d suffer immensely in fashion. Heck, make them work at a coffee shop during rush and they would just crumble.
Daily mail is British and filled with British style of racism (because in UK it is worse to be called a racist than to be a racist, they treat getting called racist like a slur but being racist very openly on national TV is acceptable) and TERF sort of transphobia.
Because of my personal triggers, I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch this one, but thank you for speaking out and I hope you are doing well ❤️ see you next time!
Can authors who don’t have and do not understand OCD please leave us alone? Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD. You know thoughts are not facts 💕
Wait, out of everything someone threatened to sue you for possibly making a video on them in the future? That's already stating their intent of filling a SLAPP suit against you. At least that's what it sounds like. I'm sorry that happened to you. If it was an author for this particular series, the internet is forever and someone has those receipts.
Thank you for your vulnerability surrounding your OCD. I was diagnosed with severe OCD when I was close to 13 years old, and it is an absolutely isolating and petrifying horror of an illness to have. The fear and distress that it causes is so so much to deal with, and it is immensely tiring to see it featured as some sort of watered-down quirk in media. Thank you for speaking your mind about this. I hope that your migraine goes away soon, too. ❤
Tbh, sometimes the online hate machine finds someone to bully and that sucks. Writing all the bullshit she did doesn't make her sone victim. I always try to think of a way to amend a situation. In this case, it would have been to just never have written this tripe. Several things people had issues with, I could see someone mishandling in good faith...if it was like one or two. Everything combined makes me feel like she's a mean girl who got caught. BTW thank you for the info about ocd. Genuinely, I knew it's probably a rough thing to deal with (adhd here so there's overlap) but I didn't have the knowledge to know just how bad the old thing in the book would be so I appreciate it greatly. Especially since you had to go through more distress to include that info
Well, at least you know there's a distinct difference in quality between you two. Rushing out a book is rarely good for your story. I have no doubt your book is infinitely better written then hers because you care about it way more. Keep on writing and don't worry about others doing it faster than you!
I think there was another author (was it JM Arlen?) who spent YEARS on a book and held it over reviewers’ heads. Some people are fast writers, some are slow, no impact on quality. Look at the likes of Nora Roberts and Brandon Sanderson…both are prolific and consistent in quality. I don’t think being fast or slow is the problem…it’s just lack of care for other people.
As a trans person with with a whole basket of mental illnesses one of which is mentioned, PTSD . I can’t imagine that’s very good rep considering how every other mental illness was handled.
I have OCD too. It got so bad when I was pregnant my daughter was born early and they believe the anxiety is why. I had horrible intrusive thoughts about harming my daughter especially at the beginning. I told my mom one of those thoughts and she was like “those are things you don’t say out loud” it is so so rough
even tho this is an upsetting topic, your little giggle when saying "Jack and Jill" in the beginning makes me smile. I'm so sorry that you've gone through all this
hmmm as someone with a history of suicidal thoughts i always get such an ick when i see authors going “sorry i didn’t do better/didn’t respond i was suicidal” because i hate devaluing that as an experience but it also feels so much like an excuse? it’s one of those moments where i wish that people didn’t use mental illness (and specifically suicidal thoughts) as a wall against doing better or wtvr. idk if i articulated this well but i always feel so upset when i see people who have been “attacked” immediately say they’re dealing with suicidal thoughts cause i can never tell when it genuine
I was going to make a TT last year about the tea leaves bc I was DISGUSTED, but then they mysteriously disappeared from her insta so super interesting to see that she’s back to promoting them. Clearly the author doesn’t give a shit about hurting anyone who might accidentally find themselves in her readership
Hi Rachel, you are amazing. You are a great mom. My mom always told me: "If you go to the bed, both your kids a are alive and sleeping, that was a good day! And if you managed to even take a shower, it was a great day!" And every good day counts.
As someone with OSDD and OCD, just hearing the synopsis and some of the scenes alone was sooo triggering. People, if you are going to write about DID or OSDD, PLEASE interview or get in touch with people who are actually diagnosed! Also, the fact she knew the representation was horrible and wrote it anyways is just so unbelievably sickening. People need to be better.
Also refering to trans activists as "TRAs" can be a transphobic dogwhistle. It comes from a transphobic slogan "TRAs are MRAs" a way of comparing trans issues to misogynist groups like the Men's Rights Activism/ Men's Rights Movement.
Everything about her book reminds me of the shit I wrote in my notebooks when I was 14. And that stuff will never see the light of day because it just isn't good, but I do think it was important for me to write it so I could understand more about myself and practice the craft. You don't publish your first drafts of the stuff you wrote because you think writing dark things is deep
Your eye makeup is *awesome* Rachel. And it’s reminding me of a much better dystopian book- I’m getting big Catching Fire vibes from it, and I love that series. Also, I respect the heck out of you for going into your experience with the book and your health issues. I cannot blame you at all for not wanting to touch the rest of the series with a ten foot pole considering its effect.
Thinking of you. Seriously. I work in a hospital and even though I don't work in NICU I get emotional whenever I handle their prescriptions. So I can't even imagine what it was like to have your own baby in there on top of having intrusive thoughts. OCD is no joke. I did my masters on it and people seriously underestimate how debilitating it is and it's so misrepresented. I won't even get started on misrepresentation on DID, trans people, and so many other issues. Wishing you and your family all the best ♡
As someone who did get EMDR for trauma and have it be very successful, I can’t imagine it being the same type of helpful for someone in a system. It’s so much about feeling the feelings you had then and letting yourself understand it’s not happening anymore, helping to lower or even end the fight or flight response triggers. Someone with DID, from what I understand, has that system because their mind needed a shield during those moments and they themselves didn’t actually feel those feelings! They won’t have true memories of it as it happened even if their body and brain experienced as part of their system. So the whole point of EMDR wouldn’t connect.
Will never get over these non apologies people post that devote more time to defending themselves and painting themselves as the victim than the three sentence "apology" at some point in the middle of all of it. Those always are such obvious indicators that they're not really remorseful, or are at least so self absorbed that they prioritize their hurt feelings over the reality that they have hurt other people, but it's even more obvious when every time they "engage" or "reach out" to those they have hurt to "listen". They don't ask questions or try to learn they just constantly talk about themselves. her conversation with Rhys was so infuriating to hear in how she never listened or even responded to any of the points made and just stopped when she failed to get the sympathy she clearly wanted. thank you for your bravery in making this video when it was so hard for you Rachel. I appreciate all the effort, time, and emotion you put into talking about things like this. ❤❤🐤
Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD as a parent. I’m a preschool teacher with ocd, and a lot of my intrusive thoughts in the day revolve around the kids. It’s never easy to admit, but It’s also very encouraging knowing others are around staying strong through similar experiences. Keep up the great content, and take care of yourself!
I'm a teaching student and whenever i work with kids i have absolutely horrid intrusive thoughts. I love kids, but my brain is always in the worst places around them. I'm glad I'm not the only one, and i really admire you working as a teacher despite the thoughts. You're so brave ❤ i personally decided to work with older kids, partially bc the younger kids (especially preschool age) give me such horrible anxiety. I wish you the best 😊❤
As a trans person, it hurts so much seeing this kind of representation in the media. I already have to deal with transphobia in my home and I don’t want to see it in novels. Im so sorry that you have gone what you did, you’re an amazing person and I’m happy you’re putting this video out here so people know just how horrible this lady is. (Also yr makeup slaps)
i just wanna say how much hearing you talk abt your ocd meant to me the first time i watched this video (and honestly still does). hanging out with kids can make me have really terrible intrusive thoughts about harming them to the point where i feel physically sick and it was so nice to know i wasn’t alone.
Around 52:00, when you showed her post about how people come after dark romance authors, it hit me that that post negates pretty much all she’s apologized for. She’s the victim, not the *many* people that read her book and were hurt and/or retraumatized by it.
Thank you for sharing about the intrusive thoughts, post partum and ocd. This is such a hard thing to talk about and helps others validate other's experiences.
I really admire the way you’re able to speak about things that have hurt & upset you with such clarity and justice. I hope your migraine eases up, take care of yourself Rachel ❤❤ Edit: 58:03 - as a host of a system, yes and no. Some people do consider relationships with other alters to be polyam in nature, since they are their own distinct personalities, but they are still part of the main host. It's really up to personal interpretation and can vary by system.
Jesus fucking Christ. I’ve been struggling with PTSD for around 8 years now. Why? I was manipulated, assaulted, groomed and directly harmed by a person who created a persona based on bad DID representation in media. They lied about having it and used this story to justify every bad thing they did to me. This resulted in me developing trust issues, severe panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, ED and PTSD, on top of making it way harder to deal with my already problematic bipolar and narcissistic/masochistic personality disorders. It made me think I don’t deserve help, and even now that I’m an adult, I still get violent flashbacks and have to deal with these consequences. They don’t just go away. I am by no means in any position to speak for the people with DID, but what I CAN say is that people have used inaccurate descriptions of it as an excuse. This not only perpetuates the stigma around a legitimate disorder that (from what I know) is already hard to deal with in today’s society, but also allows others to use misinterpreted symptoms of it to get away with abuse. DID is not something that turns people into abusers. Let’s stop treating it like it does and for fucks sake, stop writing about deeply sensitive topics you’re not knowledgeable about. Rachel, great video as always. I’m deeply sorry you had to go through this book and everything it caused later. The information you gave on ways to look for sensitivity readers was very helpful for me as an aspiring author. Much love and sorry for the traumadump, I just cannot believe how this woman can be so stupid and ignorant while also trying to excuse it by labeling her book as ‘dark’. I’m not even gonna start on the transphobia, but as a trans person, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna accept her apology.
As somebody also battling OCD/Anxiety, hearing you talk about it really hits home. And on top of dangerous mental health romanticization, it sounds like we may have yet another case of romanticizing a toxic relationship.
(TW: discussions about OCD, brief non-detailed mention of some triggering stuff from the book) i might be so damn late to this video but your experience with OCD reminds me of my own. I also have intrusive thoughts and I've experienced them since I was about 7-8, I have physical and mental compulsions and all these unhealthy thought patterns. it can be so overwhelming sometimes, especially when the disorder is stigmatised by ignorant bastards and assumed to be just about tidying and germs. lots of love to you rachel, hope your compulsions are less frequent at the moment and that your intrusive thoughts fuck off and give you some time to rest. edit: oh holy fuck i just got to the excerpt where you talk about what the OCD character did to be put in the asylum. wtf wtf wtf that's so disgusting and harmful. this author needs to stay tf away from all people with OCD right now
Chose not the listen to this one after the trigger warnings list, but commenting to support the channel and say I’ve been enjoying going through and watching your videos
26:00 Hmmmm.... its _awfully convenient_ that the only beta reader that had a problem with anything she wrote _magically_ didn't get back to her in time to fix an entire book full of garbage. Very very convenient, and not contrived at all.
Also feels very weird to say she didn't receive any feedback when according to her own narrative, the beta reader had intended to provide the feedback and she just didn't make time to listen to it??? Am I misunderstanding something?
I have been dealing with OCD ever since I could remember as a child. The character who has OCD within the book actually fucked me up and made me panic about my obsessive thoughts coming through. Thank you Brandi .
Mental health and trauma is something I do include in my work, and it makes me uncomfortable when people just steam roll across it. I also heavily avoid making characters with specific metal illnesses since outside of Anxiety and Depression, I don't have any experience. If people want to label my characters in fandom then I'm all for it, but to make a character with a specific mental illness that I don't have is too taxing on me. I already gotta write SA for one character, and that's gonna be tough for me lol. I don't need to make it anymore harder.
I am disgusted and I feel so bad for what you felt reading this book. My mum has OCD, she has had it forever and never got treatment unfortunately. It's sometimes "funny" things we could both laugh at like turning the light on and off 3 times to ensure that I don't die in my sleep when she brought me to bed as a kid. Sometimes it's more serious things, like I'll notice she'll stop using an expression or a specific word because in her mind using that word spells doom. Or how since I moved out of the country her OCD has gotten so much more control over her life because her concerns are magnified by the distance... She's an absolutely amazing mum who has sacrificed everything to ensure me and my siblings would never be missing out on anything. I am beyond privileged to have someone like her as my guardian. This depiction of OCD mums as violent lunatics is so disgusting and so harmful. Sending plenty of love your way, keep doing your amazing work
oh my god rachel i also have OCD and the way you explained your "symptoms" (not sure if theres a better word for it, english isnt my first language) made me feel so seen. much love from a viewer in germany you relates to you plenty
@@BlackReshiramno don't worry lol. I think I accidentally use wrong terms sometimes even tho English is my native language. I think your doing a great job and your comment was very good and well written.
Post-partem intrusive thoughts are super common. Pregnancy and childbirth are some of the most metal shit a human can do. The hormone and neurotransmitter stew afterward is no less brutal.
(I am diagnosed with DID) I'll keep saying this until people actually start listening - nothing about us without us. You cannot accurately portray disorders you don't experience. You can write about it, but you need to include the opinions of people who do experience it, because they are always going to be better at picking out what's a harmful portrayal.
As a fellow DID system, I second this. (also, hello! I don't run into too many other systems in the wild, so it's always nice to see another system
@@apocalypso3427 💚💚💚
@@notlurking2128 I hope this is alright to ask, but as someone who enjoys writing stories, I want to be able to do this correctly. When discussing experiences with a system, should we ask/interview more than one alter in a system? I imagine each experience is unique and I want to make sure the portrayal is accurate and respectful. Or would one be able to represent for the others?
@@JJayTheGoat Thank you for being so respectful. Every system is different, but as a general rule I would try to interview more than one alter per system. This is because, though not definitive, alters tend to have 'roles' like Host, Persecutor, Protector, ECT. So if you're writing a system and you write a perspective of a "protector", but you have only interviewed a "host" you might miss out on some nuance that a protector would have shared that the host does not know about. Of course, this is extremely generalised, so I'd take it on a case by case basis and what the system is comfortable with.
@@JJayTheGoat also be very careful who you interview, tiktok has currently popularized faking DID. The fakedisorderscringe subreddit actually has a lot of good info on the legal requirements to meet for a DID diagnosis as well as general red flags to look for. (Must be at least 18, though generally it’s 20’s on, having more than a 8 or 9 alters, people claiming DID without having had deep childhood trauma, etc.) Good luck!
Intrusive thoughts in mothers, especially shortly after giving birth, is often attributed to the brain obsessing over FEARS we have around caring for our children. Because we fear bad things happening to them, our brain tries to rationalize the worst case scenario of what our kid could experience and of course the worst case scenario would be us, the parents, purposefully or unintentionally inflicting harm.
Just want to make that clear to any parents and mothers currently suffering through intrusive thoughts or who might have them in the future.
These thoughts are NOT our desires, they are our worst nightmares that our brain is struggling to cope with. It is not a reflection on you as a person, it shows you have a very empathetic nature in the way your mind is creating scenarios so that you can avoid them.
Stay strong, it gets better.
If anyone is experiencing postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis please seek professional help. There are a multitude of reasons you may be experiencing these symptoms.
This! My mother only deals with anxiety/depression. The intrusive thoughts she had after my birth terrified her. Going as far as breaking down while telling nurses. It's a common experience after giving birth. What makes you a "bad" person is if they're acted on. She only told me about it when I was 20yrs old. It was a sweet moment to confirm to her that it wasn't her fault. Didn't change our relationship or how I thought of her.
I got as far as "a land called DEMENTIA" and all I could think was ...is this a dystopian Modelland? Did this author get inspired by Tyra Banks?!
Honestly, I thought of Elder Scrolls Oblivion dlc(?) of Shagorath's/"The Mad God"'s world where you enter through Dementia or Mania after a short bit
It's giving Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way levels of self-righteousness
Anybody who uses the term "woke mob" is worthy of immediate contempt.
they need to touch grass lmao
And anyone who acts like a member of the woke mob is immediately worthy of contempt. They are the puritans of today.
"woke mob"
You mean people you hurt and upset because you said something awful?
What do you mean, and how so?
@@sunflower4500 People who use this phrase are predominantly far right and tend to hold beliefs that are mostly if not exclusively beneficial to cisgender heterosexual white people (mostly white men)
her blaming the problematic aspects of the book on ONE beta reader is the most unbelievable thing ever to me
Literally like wow it’s so convenient that the only person who could possibly have had a problem with it was conveniently not giving feedback like everyone else and conveniently only said something the second it was too late. Sure ma’am. That definitely happened.
"She's a very popular tiktok author."
Say no more, that explains so much
“tiktok” and “author” are words I wish never went together ever again ever and yet. they do so often. in spite of how much I hate it
Tik tok has ruined books. I get tired of people popularising shitty low quality books because they’re ‘spicy’ and controversial! Whenever i go to a bookstore and see a ‘Booktok’ section i want to commit society
Can we start popularising unique books that are ACTUALLY good?!
When the market refuses to support you because you produce trash? You haven't been cancelled. I don't buy cruddy paper towels, badly made clothes, or hateful books. And I tell others, "Hey, don't buy those paper towels, those clothes, or that book." That's not cancellation. That's the market at work.
Yes 👍💯
the industry silences marginalized creators often by saying "its good, but marketing this is risky" but brandi wouldnt know what thats like lol. canceling implies support has been withdrawn. u have to have support for support to be withdrawn.
Periodt!
Cancel culture is when you go a bit further than that and start 'punishing' people who do choose to speak out in support of, or continue to support someone by platforming them or buying their product and/or selling their project, using intimidation, shame, and other tactics to make people afraid to decide for themselves. That, is unacceptable. Just choosing not to support them yourself and recommending (but still respecting the rights of others to do whatever THEY feel is right, including giving good reviews, or offering an alternative perspective) that they don't use this product either is just fine. Consider what happened to Sharon Osbourne, when she stood up for Piers Morgan, her friend - THAT was a toxic example of cancel culture.
Agreed. There are so many people experiencing this type of thing and calling it cancelation, and it's not, dude. They're just not a great actor, or the trend has moved away from them, or they're writing books to a niche audience who don't really like the writing ... the list goes on.
24:50 "I'm a liberal with all of the according views" is a perfect way to sum up how neo-liberals view activism. They think that voting blue and supporting the concept of gay marriage absolves them of all guilt for the actual harm that they do. It doesn't matter what "views" you hold when your actions actively harm marginalized people. Especially when you are PROFITTING from those actions. Praxis matters. Your " views " don't mean anything unless you put them into practice.
You’re my hero for saying this. I couldn’t begin to explain why her calling herself a liberal annoyed the fuck out of me, but it did. You summed it up perfectly. Clearly, she doesn’t understand the history of liberalism (classical and neo). Like a lot of other Americans, brandi thinks simply referring to herself as a liberal is enough to get people off her back. And that we’ll just assume she’s super progressive, despite progressivism and liberalism not being the same thing. Then there’s the fact that liberalism means something entirely different in other countries like the UK, Germany, etc. I suppose she really is a liberal, if she holds the same beliefs as jk rowling for instance.
when she said "a liberal with all of the according views" my eyes rolled so hard they fell out of my head. people who say stuff like that clearly don't have "all of the according views", or likely even know what they are
Brandi: I'm a liberal with all of the according views.
Me: Ok, what are they?
Brandi: W-what?
Me: What are your views, as a liberal.
Brandi: ...
Usually, the ones who complain the most about “cancel culture” would never in a million years lift a finger to help The Dixie Chicks or Colin Kaepernick. What happened to Brandi wasn’t “cancel culture”. It’s the natural consequences of bad behavior. It’s how life works. Rachel, you have every right in the world to be pissed off at her. I too am angry about how she hurt so many people with her carelessness. Google is free and sensitivity readers are worth paying for! As for you, Rachel…digital hugs from Washington State.
She could have literally just googled “(xyz marginalized people) stereotypes” and avoided those things! It wouldn’t make it good but it sure would be better!
@@08449tbh it felt like she did google that & just made that her writing notes
I hate, hate, hate when people act like they are such a better person because they are able to "forgive". Like, can we just admit that forgiveness isn't a magic fix all and there are things that are rightfully unforgivable?
Oh yes totally agree with you 💯👍
Preach!!
and forgiveness is SUCH a personal thing. What is forgivable to some might not be forgivable to someone else.
literally!! i am not a bad person for not forgiving people who did long-term damage to me. i don't owe them that at all. i HATE this narrative that forgiveness is a thing that everyone should hand out in every situation - you just put it into way better words than i was ever able to.
ATLA thought us that through Katara
You can write dark romance without being so incredibly offensive, Brandi.
or she could've gone w/ any other genre besides romance, to begin w/ ngl
What’s “dark romance”? Sexual violence against women? I don’t get why some whites have a problem that use disorders like this in books but think it’s A-Ok to write violent, misogynistic sexual fantasies targeting women, under the guise of “freedom” and “kinks”. No, shame both.
to actually write that OCD would cause you to hurt your child - it’s sickening. I also have OCD and intrusive thoughts and I literally have struggled for YEARS.
This is written by someone who doesn’t understand intrusive thoughts and it’s SICKENING.
Rachel I hear you. Even good OCD rep triggers me sometimes,I can’t imagine trying to read something like that. Thank you for bringing this to the table.
"You can't pretend this hasn't done any harm just because it's fiction." 👏👏
I wish I could boost this on Mastodon; these are the words I've been looking for
Art affects society. Art changes as society does. What you read can affect your beliefs. And reading graphic inaccurate representation can affect your health.
Also LOVE how her and multiple news outlets are putting the blame for the backlash strictly on trans people when she offended almost every community in one book
I have OCD and having the idea of someone with OCD *GIVING IN* to something so many of us have (ie. harming children or loved ones) as an intrusive thought is SO INCREDIBLY HARMFUL. To anyone with OCD that’s struggling- you are not your thoughts, intrusive thoughts reflect your biggest fears. They are not a reflection of your morality. You are good. You are safe. You are loved.
Rachel: "It's called dementia."
Me: Oh no, it's THAT book.
Who tf would name a country Dementia smh it’s offensive to people who actually have dementia
@@mglarson5936 pretty much the only thing I heard about this book was some variation of "this author treats mental health so incredibly bad that she literally named one of the places Dementia" like what on earth was going on in her head.
“I was cancelled 😭😭” bestie was getting held accountable for her genuinely awful actions. Her book is not “dark” it is blatantly offensive and cruel and I’m sick of the “dark” genre being an excuse for shitty authors to be shitty people and perpetuate their shitty bigoted and harmful views💩
You can write a grimdark world full of abuse and violence and fear it’s all about how you write it and she didn’t write it well at all.
my jaw is dropped after you said an area was named dementia...
These kind of people call any criticism “bullying”. It’s another way to avoid responsibility. It gives the same energy as, “It was a joke. Why are *you* so sensitive?”
A good friend of mine has DID, and I've never seen her in any form become violent. There is one side to her that gets quite angry but is never violent. She's ended up staying home most of the time, sadly, because once people find out that she had DID, they react as people usually do. Even her family has largely left her out of their lives, although her husband has stuck by her through thick and thin. He and I and a few other people are her support system, and I'm glad that I can be there for her.
One small note - I work with the elderly in an assisted living facility and I've seen people with many kinds of dementia. For someone to use it as a place name really irks me. I've never read any of Szeker's works and I never will if I can help it, and to me, her using the name of a mental disorder as a place name is another example of her insensitivity towards the way things really are with this and the other things she includes in her writings, like DID and child murder.
Also, if she couldn't get her book published by a reputable publisher, maybe she needs to try to figure out why. As you said, bad books do get published in the traditional way, but it's probably not as easy, and there might be some not-quite-right reason for this.
I'll stop now, or else I'll just go off on a rant, and this is not the place for me to do that. Thanks for sharing this video, and it's helped me to decide to avoid this author. I always appreciate such things. I don't like to support those who get things so horribly wrong and who show an utter lack of respect and compassion for people who suffer.
The "fan casting Sam Claflin" thing is so insulting because you onow that means she sees her character as her series' version of Finnick Odair from THG without understanding anything about Finnick's character. Finnick was a revolutionary character, a man who was trafficked and sold into sex work and experienced CSA, but he uses the pain that caused him to try to change the world so that no one ever has to suffer like he did. And while I'm not going to champion for fictional characters, it does feel like a disservice to Suzanne Collins to see this beloved character she made and then say "but what if he took those harrowing experiences he went through and used them as justification to assault people".
I think what makes me the most mad about the author’s response was that she had the audacity to say “Well none of the beta readers TOLD me that there was anything harmful in the book”. First, the fact that you needed to be told that you had triggering situations and bad representation in your book means you’re horribly under equipped to write about these things. Second, did you bother to hire any beta readers that had experience with any of the traumas or diagnosis you wrote about in your book? Because that’s still your fault for not getting better beta readers when your whole intent is that you want to write about a problematic dystopia.
To the author, this might have been a little cash grab, a fun little thought experiment, but to us - the people with mental health issues - our struggles face us every day, we can't just turn them off and be "normal" when we're fed up with symptoms or get overwhelmed with life. The descriptions in the book make my skin crawl. There is almost a sort of voyeuristic glee in it... as if the author wants to point at us and shout: "HEY LOOK, HEY LOOK AT THE FREAKSHOWS." They make me feel like a zoo animal in a small enclosure for neurotypicals to gawk at us open mouthed or animals at the circus waiting to perform our next "trick". I think I need a break-
unrelated question but would you be willing to hide a body in your backyard? Definitely unrelated to the author
You know what my favourite part of her non apology is the blaming of her beta readers. She knew what she had written but she avoids taking accountability by passing the buck. Disgusting behaviour
But also what kind of sycophantic beta readers told her it was fine to go ahead? Either that or they told her about the many other problems but not specifically the anti-trans part and she ignored them. The book is absolutely wretched in every way
@@alisaurus4224 she specifically got beta readers who think awful things about trans and disabled people. She hand picked beta readers who hate these people.
I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and I'm writing an adult fantasy book, and I can tell you there is no instance of ANY character in my book being disgusted by a trans person's body, or assaulted by a trans person, despite the fact that there are several major trans and non-binary characters. Her allyship is BS. Maybe she's rethought things and is a trans ally now, but she certainly wasn't at the time she wrote this book.
The author describing herself as a "Liberal with all the according views" is kind of chilling. What does that mean, ma'am?
I don't know much about self-publishing but isnt the point you have control over your "deadlines" etc?
Yeah no, she’s conservative. She just doesn’t want to admit it.
As a disabled Trans Woman who trains organisations on how to work in that intersection for a living . I have never seen less work put into sensitivity or awareness and a less self aware apology. You don't get grace if aren't using the time to fix things and correct the mistake, That's what grace is for .
I think the thing that completely discredits her apology is that she acknowledged becoming aware of major issues before release date. While I understand that the stress of the waste of money of having the books already ready to go, as an aspiring author i would like to think I would have postponed release and took the loss to avoid this kind of harm in her situation. This is also why it is so handy in self publishing that they can be printed through some places on a per order bases so you don’t risk wasted stock
Adding that I made this comment about halfway through the video, and wow she just gets so much worse 😳
@@victoriamasters I just got to this point, how far down the iceberg are we going?!
Right?? The way the trigger warnings are worded makes it clear that she knew things were wrong (factually and morally) but decided if she slapped a disclaimer on it that would make it all better. Dumb!
A. Hope you are doing ok now, we care for ya💛
B. The author is exactly how I imagine her, a rich white woman who doesn't care about the way her books affect others and will throw a fit if you criticize her.
Edit: not her arse thinking 'canceling' is worse then transphobia 💀💀💀
This is why people say "write what you know". She could have learned about the conditions she wanted to depict BEFORE writing the book. Then she'd already have a solid foundation for the book that isn't based in pure stereotype. Instead, she apparently relied on others to fix the mess she caused and backtrace all the bad stuff in the book.
Also her excuse for not getting the feedback is "yeah we had a tight deadline so I rushed it and sent it off." Regardless of the beta reader going silent, I really don't think this is the kind of story you rush...
This book seems to have the vibes of the first time you try to write at 13 and you write the most shocking thing possible to be “unique.” And then you go on to grow and mature and write much better books.
Honey, I'm so sorry. I recently had a baby on the NICU. I got to take her home in January this year and spent everyday of her two months stint in the hospital hating myself and wondering what I did wrong. I'm so sorry you went through that and that this book triggered those feelings again, I wouldn't want that for the world. I sincerely hope you're doing okay and that this book isn't affecting you anymore. ❤
(tw discussing my mental health, post-partum, and general mental health)
I dealt with post-partum psychosis after the birth my son and thinking back to what felt like rational thoughts 16 years on is still hard. It took years to work through and forgive myself for what my mind was saying, what I wanted to do. How it triggered my cptsd in a way I hadn't experienced since I was in high school. I was lucky that I never acted on the intrusive thoughts, that I had a moment of clarity long enough to say something was wrong, even though my ob/gyn was dismissive. It could have been so much worse, and for many people it is.
These aren't things to make into a twisted "dark romance". My experiences of CSA, abuse, ED, addiction, these are not playthings. They will never be.
I'm sorry if this is rambling, this video hit me hard. I cannot imagine the strength it's taken to make a video on it. Thank you for speaking out and using your platform in this way. Please take time to be kind to yourself. We love you, Rachel 💜
You’re not rambling at all. I deeply appreciate you sharing your experiences with me. ❤️
Thank you for being up the “cancel culture” of it all, I am so fucking sick of people complaining about facing the consequences of their own actions!! If people no longer like you or want to support you financially, emotionally, mentally, etc, then they’re within their right to do so!!!
45:36 "can you even imagine being criticised for your awful actions by thousands of people?"
No. Brandi, I can't. Because I've never published an awful, harmful book.
I can however, understand what it feels like to read articles in newspapers, plots in books like yours, posts on social media etc. that show that countless people out there hate me just because I'm trans. That they see my existence as a problem, that they'd rather I wasn't alive.
That awful feeling you experienced as an inevitable response to your bad behaviour, is my and every other trans person's every day existence, and you helped make it worse.
Typing this honestly brought me to tears. People need to grow up, and accept criticism from marginalised groups. ❤
Good to know that "Give a man a mask and he will show you who he really is" also applies to women.
"Oh, I am not (insert)phobic, the characters and the society in my books are!"
Wow. I had no idea about OCD symptoms and motherhood were a thing. She really put in as many stigmas as she could into this book.
People complaining about being cancelled, are the same people that tell bullied children to "ignore and stay away from the bullies". That is what someone does when they cancel you
The way this book handles OCD and intrusive thoughts it’s just maddening. As someone who does suffer from traumatic intrusive thoughts thank you for talking about it and calling out the immense harm that she is causing with these books.
you don't need to forgive anyone in order to heal... i will never forgive people who hurt me, it doesn't make me a spiteful, mean or bad person that's stuck in the past. stop forcing victims to forgive anyone. especially when the person who hurt them is living lavish but the victim can't even afford mental health help
Yeah I agree with you
My mom is a raging narcissist and she told me she has long forgiven herself for the horrendous child abuse against me and my sister because she was doing her best, don't burden yourselves with trying to forgive people who don't deserve anything less than to rot in hell for all eternity.
@@c.w.8200 Yes it's awfully "convenient" of these types of people to forgive themselves...
Tbh, I agree, but even if I didn't, telling people they have to forgive people seems like a great way to get them to do the opposite
Me too. Forgiveness is just an invitation to be treated like that again in my experience.
Following my CSA, I developed extreme intrusive thoughts that were so horrible that I believed I didn't deserve to exist anymore. To see a cishet with no mental illness (that I know of) use an experience that destroyed my life to demonize both people with OCD and transgender people is heartbreaking. Mentally ill people and transgender people are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators, in relation to abuse.
36:00 I’d like to point out that the term “TRA” (trans rights activist) is frequently used as a TERF dogwhistle to refer to trans folks, implying that we’re an “other” who don’t deserve to have our rights fought for & to draw parallels to MRAs.
It’s possible it’s used normally elsewhere, but personally I’ve never seen a single trans person use that phrase to refer to ourselves
You say 'Emo sunset', I say the German flag. Appreciating the shoutout to the German fanbase, queen. 😤🤌🏻
While I do like to hear about Autors who behave badly, I think you should strongly consider, which books to read and which to skip. No one here will think badly of you if you leave out a bad autor for someone else to cover when the topic at hand is too emotionally harmful for you.
Take care!
This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. I was often shamed into reading books that had personal triggers for me because 'they're just books, what harm will they really do'... It was after I had a complete blackout after a panic attack after reading a book that made me realise that I had to take care of myself and not pick up books that bring more harm than good.
It was a difficult lesson.
@@TiffWaffles It might have been a difficult lession, but I'm sure it was one worth learning. Hopefully you're better able to keep yourself safe now. Stay strong, you can pull through. I hope you also have friends and family who can help you through a difficult time.
Unfortunately, people who don't suffer from panic attacks rarely understand how bad triggers can be and how things that seem harmless to them can affect other people.
That's why it's always better to listen to yourself rather than others when it comes to things like this.
Of course The Daily Fail took that stance. I'm so sorry you had to go through this Rachel. I have severe anxiety, a survivor of CSA, and am a mother, the part you struggled to discuss felt so triggering to me too.
The Daily Fail has always been trash. There's a tribe of people on twitter that call tabloid paper that same name and I wholeheartedly agree with the name.
Daily fail made me giggle. I will definitely use it again
OMG Rachel, I had the same OCD shit going on when my own son was in the NICU! I thought if I don’t get more than X miles away from the hospital he won’t die. If I never laugh at something funny on TV, he won’t die. And on and on. I have never actually heard it said out loud from someone else, and that was 20 years ago. I’m sorry for our pain, but thankful to have heard something I thought I was alone in actually spoken about. ❤️
Wow this makes me feel so much less alone 🥹😭💕
@@ReadswithRachel 💕
My fiancée struggles with intrusive thoughts and compulsive tendencies. When we get out of the car, she always tells me to lock it and she has to hear the horn 3 times. She does the same thing at the store, picking “the right one”. She gets frustrated with herself, because she knows that it doesn’t make any real sense but it doesn’t matter. Anxiety says that if the horn doesn’t beep 3 times then something will happen to our car or to us. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this, friend. ❤
I hate how people demonize Ed and ocd. Mine are linked. My ocd makes me obsess with food and harm myself. My face and back are filled with scars from compulsive skin picking. People just tell me to stop. It’s so isolating.
my god i could literally have written this comment myself down to every detail, you are not alone in this!! it's so fucking tough, people don't have even the SLIGHTEST clue of what it's like to live like this every day... sending all the virtual love and strength from this random internet stranger
I'm really sorry you suffer with that
This kind of make me realize…I’ve never thought it like that…I’ve been suffering from a ED for more than 15 years now…I constantly remove my toenails until it bleeds…I never thought those things could be relate it.. Thanks for sharing.
My ocd is linked with picking and with disordered eating too. It’s so hard to explain to people that my “picky eating” is really my fear or contaminations and once my food is wrong in some way in my brain I can’t eat it anymore.
When she mentioned it had poor OCD rep I was like, 'man, no one knows about OCD except for the perfectionism (OCPD) and obsessive cleaning- Itll be typical misinformation and it'll be fine.' boom. Gut punch. How she even managed to write this I will never know lmao. I've told my partner that when we have a kid I want therapy because I'm so afraid my OCD will act up. I have the 'indecisive if you pick the wrong one someone will get hurt'' compulsion really badly and this with a child sounds soul destroying 😑
I don’t have DID, but I have another trauma disorder and it hurts to see depictions of mental illness causing people to be violent and manipulative. It’s honestly insulting and ignores the reality of mentally ill people being a vulnerable group.
36:18 i dont think ive ever seen "TRAs" used by anyone other than terfs lol, whenever someone uses that its such an obvious tell, and the fact that shes been using it to refer to trans ppl is very sussy
Some people will never truely understand the weight of intrusive thoughts. And the fear you have of someone finding them out and judging you for them
OCD is a burden. Random guilt, intrusive thoughts and rituals are a burden
Intrusive thoughts attack your morals and try to break you down convincing you that you are dangerous.
But you are not, the thoughts aren't you. The disgust you feel towards those thoughts are you. You are a good caring person.
Trust me, I know it's hard. But you matter and you aren't alone
Quill, if you see this by any chance, I have a message for you. I support you even though you consider yourself an alter and feel like an impostor. You are a valid part of a whole. I believe that true healing of this divergence can only be achieved when all alters are known, can share cohesively, and agree to work towards a goal of integration of all. I hope you can find guidance towards this transition, and you and your others stay concious and well. Love to you all from a stranger on the internet that is compassionate to this cause!💓
Thank you Rachel and everyone without dissociative disorders speaking up and standing up for us! It’s so hard to see us constantly being villainized and perpetuating misinfo and stereotypes and makes me feel extremely unsafe as a system.
I’m so sorry for everything y’all have to deal with. I hope one day we as a society can move past villainizing and romanticizing disorders and learn to accept people as they are.
I feel like her saying she was “portraying DID in the way society views it” was nothing more than a lazy cop out
as someone with a dissociative disorder, i'm always very heartened by those without one standing up for us and calling out how nasty depictions in media can get. i and many friends were very concerned when the movie split came out a while back as it really leaned into a lot of harmful stereotypes and misinfo and there was a lot of worry about how much that would set awareness/the fight against stigma back, but things like this prove that people are still listening 💝
I don't have DID, but Split really upset me. It really demonstrates that while depression and anxiety having been gaining acceptance, other mental health issues are still extremely stigmatized. It seems like a lot of people think because they pay lip service to mental health that gives them a license to repeat harmful stereotypes.
@@afckingegg7585 exactly. like, I'm glad there's improvement when it comes to some mental health issues (though there's a LONG way to go even with anxiety/depression), so many are still treated like inherent evils. just the way people talk about personality disorders (especially npd, aspd, etc) shows how much work there is to do yet
I’m probably one of the few people who refuses to watch Split because I personally know someone with alters and I’m so fucking tired of every piece of media where someone has multiple personalities portraying them as psycho.
DESPISE split with our entire heart
@@skyeaurelliah9883 yes. Exactly.
I wanted to sincerely thank you for your strength and courage to tell your story of OCD and postpartum depression. It’s never talked about despite so many people who have brains that tell them to do something bad and 99% of the people never even act it- I would call myself someone who has thoughts or urges but will not act on them. You’re not alone.
I have chronic daily headache and migraine syndrome, which is just a fancy way of saying I have headaches and migraines all the time, and I’d seriously watch a video produced in ambient light so you don’t have a light shining directly in your face. That’s like a nightmare scenario for a migraine. Hope you feel better soon!
before tuning into this channel I had no idea authors were so serious about reviewers. I hate to see how these people harassing you just get away with it. I hope you’re able to keep going on TH-cam despite it all, love this channel so much.
Yeah I really hate it when authors harasse Rachel
For real!! It really shows how fragile some authors are when it comes to opinions of readers and constructive criticism, especially authors like this one who have poorly written works.
They shouldn’t be writing then because honestly to be so stinking thin skinned in the writing industry? They’d suffer immensely in fashion. Heck, make them work at a coffee shop during rush and they would just crumble.
Daily mail is British and filled with British style of racism (because in UK it is worse to be called a racist than to be a racist, they treat getting called racist like a slur but being racist very openly on national TV is acceptable) and TERF sort of transphobia.
Yeah. Daily Mail is the UK's Daily Wire. Maybe New York Post on a good day.
Because of my personal triggers, I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch this one, but thank you for speaking out and I hope you are doing well ❤️ see you next time!
I totally understand ❤️
Can authors who don’t have and do not understand OCD please leave us alone? Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD. You know thoughts are not facts 💕
Wait, out of everything someone threatened to sue you for possibly making a video on them in the future? That's already stating their intent of filling a SLAPP suit against you. At least that's what it sounds like. I'm sorry that happened to you. If it was an author for this particular series, the internet is forever and someone has those receipts.
Empty threats. People have no right to stop people from talking about them.
@@Ketutar
Exactly, people who threaten to sue them like this are cowards and usually have no bases.
Thank you for your vulnerability surrounding your OCD. I was diagnosed with severe OCD when I was close to 13 years old, and it is an absolutely isolating and petrifying horror of an illness to have. The fear and distress that it causes is so so much to deal with, and it is immensely tiring to see it featured as some sort of watered-down quirk in media. Thank you for speaking your mind about this. I hope that your migraine goes away soon, too. ❤
me too. sending love your way, it’s so hard and isolating!
Tbh, sometimes the online hate machine finds someone to bully and that sucks.
Writing all the bullshit she did doesn't make her sone victim. I always try to think of a way to amend a situation. In this case, it would have been to just never have written this tripe.
Several things people had issues with, I could see someone mishandling in good faith...if it was like one or two. Everything combined makes me feel like she's a mean girl who got caught.
BTW thank you for the info about ocd. Genuinely, I knew it's probably a rough thing to deal with (adhd here so there's overlap) but I didn't have the knowledge to know just how bad the old thing in the book would be so I appreciate it greatly. Especially since you had to go through more distress to include that info
She's publishing books in a matter of months, meanwhile I've been writing the same bloody idea since seventh grade. FML XD
Well, at least you know there's a distinct difference in quality between you two. Rushing out a book is rarely good for your story. I have no doubt your book is infinitely better written then hers because you care about it way more. Keep on writing and don't worry about others doing it faster than you!
I think there was another author (was it JM Arlen?) who spent YEARS on a book and held it over reviewers’ heads. Some people are fast writers, some are slow, no impact on quality. Look at the likes of Nora Roberts and Brandon Sanderson…both are prolific and consistent in quality. I don’t think being fast or slow is the problem…it’s just lack of care for other people.
Same.
Took me ten years to finish my first book and it was totally worth it. I’m coming out with another book soon just about nine years after my last one.
As a trans person with with a whole basket of mental illnesses one of which is mentioned, PTSD . I can’t imagine that’s very good rep considering how every other mental illness was handled.
I have OCD too. It got so bad when I was pregnant my daughter was born early and they believe the anxiety is why. I had horrible intrusive thoughts about harming my daughter especially at the beginning. I told my mom one of those thoughts and she was like “those are things you don’t say out loud” it is so so rough
I'm sorry that when you shared your feelings that you weren't supported how you should and I hope you are okay.
even tho this is an upsetting topic, your little giggle when saying "Jack and Jill" in the beginning makes me smile. I'm so sorry that you've gone through all this
hmmm as someone with a history of suicidal thoughts i always get such an ick when i see authors going “sorry i didn’t do better/didn’t respond i was suicidal” because i hate devaluing that as an experience but it also feels so much like an excuse? it’s one of those moments where i wish that people didn’t use mental illness (and specifically suicidal thoughts) as a wall against doing better or wtvr. idk if i articulated this well but i always feel so upset when i see people who have been “attacked” immediately say they’re dealing with suicidal thoughts cause i can never tell when it genuine
I was going to make a TT last year about the tea leaves bc I was DISGUSTED, but then they mysteriously disappeared from her insta so super interesting to see that she’s back to promoting them. Clearly the author doesn’t give a shit about hurting anyone who might accidentally find themselves in her readership
Hi Rachel, you are amazing. You are a great mom.
My mom always told me: "If you go to the bed, both your kids a are alive and sleeping, that was a good day! And if you managed to even take a shower, it was a great day!"
And every good day counts.
As someone with OSDD and OCD, just hearing the synopsis and some of the scenes alone was sooo triggering. People, if you are going to write about DID or OSDD, PLEASE interview or get in touch with people who are actually diagnosed! Also, the fact she knew the representation was horrible and wrote it anyways is just so unbelievably sickening. People need to be better.
Also refering to trans activists as "TRAs" can be a transphobic dogwhistle. It comes from a transphobic slogan "TRAs are MRAs" a way of comparing trans issues to misogynist groups like the Men's Rights Activism/ Men's Rights Movement.
Everything about her book reminds me of the shit I wrote in my notebooks when I was 14. And that stuff will never see the light of day because it just isn't good, but I do think it was important for me to write it so I could understand more about myself and practice the craft. You don't publish your first drafts of the stuff you wrote because you think writing dark things is deep
Your eye makeup is *awesome* Rachel. And it’s reminding me of a much better dystopian book- I’m getting big Catching Fire vibes from it, and I love that series. Also, I respect the heck out of you for going into your experience with the book and your health issues. I cannot blame you at all for not wanting to touch the rest of the series with a ten foot pole considering its effect.
Thinking of you. Seriously.
I work in a hospital and even though I don't work in NICU I get emotional whenever I handle their prescriptions. So I can't even imagine what it was like to have your own baby in there on top of having intrusive thoughts. OCD is no joke. I did my masters on it and people seriously underestimate how debilitating it is and it's so misrepresented. I won't even get started on misrepresentation on DID, trans people, and so many other issues. Wishing you and your family all the best ♡
As someone who did get EMDR for trauma and have it be very successful, I can’t imagine it being the same type of helpful for someone in a system. It’s so much about feeling the feelings you had then and letting yourself understand it’s not happening anymore, helping to lower or even end the fight or flight response triggers. Someone with DID, from what I understand, has that system because their mind needed a shield during those moments and they themselves didn’t actually feel those feelings! They won’t have true memories of it as it happened even if their body and brain experienced as part of their system. So the whole point of EMDR wouldn’t connect.
Will never get over these non apologies people post that devote more time to defending themselves and painting themselves as the victim than the three sentence "apology" at some point in the middle of all of it. Those always are such obvious indicators that they're not really remorseful, or are at least so self absorbed that they prioritize their hurt feelings over the reality that they have hurt other people, but it's even more obvious when every time they "engage" or "reach out" to those they have hurt to "listen". They don't ask questions or try to learn they just constantly talk about themselves. her conversation with Rhys was so infuriating to hear in how she never listened or even responded to any of the points made and just stopped when she failed to get the sympathy she clearly wanted. thank you for your bravery in making this video when it was so hard for you Rachel. I appreciate all the effort, time, and emotion you put into talking about things like this. ❤❤🐤
Well said!
OCD after having children is no joke. How sick of her to take a very real and traumatizing condition and weaponize it.
Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD as a parent. I’m a preschool teacher with ocd, and a lot of my intrusive thoughts in the day revolve around the kids. It’s never easy to admit, but It’s also very encouraging knowing others are around staying strong through similar experiences. Keep up the great content, and take care of yourself!
I'm a teaching student and whenever i work with kids i have absolutely horrid intrusive thoughts. I love kids, but my brain is always in the worst places around them. I'm glad I'm not the only one, and i really admire you working as a teacher despite the thoughts. You're so brave ❤ i personally decided to work with older kids, partially bc the younger kids (especially preschool age) give me such horrible anxiety. I wish you the best 😊❤
as someone with bulim*a, ocd & gender dysphoria i’m scared to watch this 😅
thank you for your videos Rachel!
As a trans person, it hurts so much seeing this kind of representation in the media. I already have to deal with transphobia in my home and I don’t want to see it in novels.
Im so sorry that you have gone what you did, you’re an amazing person and I’m happy you’re putting this video out here so people know just how horrible this lady is.
(Also yr makeup slaps)
i just wanna say how much hearing you talk abt your ocd meant to me the first time i watched this video (and honestly still does). hanging out with kids can make me have really terrible intrusive thoughts about harming them to the point where i feel physically sick and it was so nice to know i wasn’t alone.
Around 52:00, when you showed her post about how people come after dark romance authors, it hit me that that post negates pretty much all she’s apologized for. She’s the victim, not the *many* people that read her book and were hurt and/or retraumatized by it.
Thank you for sharing about the intrusive thoughts, post partum and ocd. This is such a hard thing to talk about and helps others validate other's experiences.
I have OCD intrusive thoughts too and mine revolve around my heath and hurting my animals… you’re not alone, Rachel.
Still reading the title of the book as The PRAWN and the PUPPY-- that aside I hope you're taking care of yourself and your migraine goes away soon
I really admire the way you’re able to speak about things that have hurt & upset you with such clarity and justice. I hope your migraine eases up, take care of yourself Rachel ❤❤
Edit: 58:03 - as a host of a system, yes and no. Some people do consider relationships with other alters to be polyam in nature, since they are their own distinct personalities, but they are still part of the main host. It's really up to personal interpretation and can vary by system.
OH okay thank you for speaking on this. It makes sense that it would be on a case by case basis.
Jesus fucking Christ. I’ve been struggling with PTSD for around 8 years now. Why? I was manipulated, assaulted, groomed and directly harmed by a person who created a persona based on bad DID representation in media. They lied about having it and used this story to justify every bad thing they did to me.
This resulted in me developing trust issues, severe panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, ED and PTSD, on top of making it way harder to deal with my already problematic bipolar and narcissistic/masochistic personality disorders. It made me think I don’t deserve help, and even now that I’m an adult, I still get violent flashbacks and have to deal with these consequences. They don’t just go away.
I am by no means in any position to speak for the people with DID, but what I CAN say is that people have used inaccurate descriptions of it as an excuse.
This not only perpetuates the stigma around a legitimate disorder that (from what I know) is already hard to deal with in today’s society, but also allows others to use misinterpreted symptoms of it to get away with abuse.
DID is not something that turns people into abusers. Let’s stop treating it like it does and for fucks sake, stop writing about deeply sensitive topics you’re not knowledgeable about.
Rachel, great video as always. I’m deeply sorry you had to go through this book and everything it caused later. The information you gave on ways to look for sensitivity readers was very helpful for me as an aspiring author. Much love and sorry for the traumadump, I just cannot believe how this woman can be so stupid and ignorant while also trying to excuse it by labeling her book as ‘dark’.
I’m not even gonna start on the transphobia, but as a trans person, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna accept her apology.
As somebody also battling OCD/Anxiety, hearing you talk about it really hits home.
And on top of dangerous mental health romanticization, it sounds like we may have yet another case of romanticizing a toxic relationship.
Can I just say: your eyeshadow looks AMAZING!
(TW: discussions about OCD, brief non-detailed mention of some triggering stuff from the book)
i might be so damn late to this video but your experience with OCD reminds me of my own. I also have intrusive thoughts and I've experienced them since I was about 7-8, I have physical and mental compulsions and all these unhealthy thought patterns. it can be so overwhelming sometimes, especially when the disorder is stigmatised by ignorant bastards and assumed to be just about tidying and germs.
lots of love to you rachel, hope your compulsions are less frequent at the moment and that your intrusive thoughts fuck off and give you some time to rest.
edit: oh holy fuck i just got to the excerpt where you talk about what the OCD character did to be put in the asylum. wtf wtf wtf that's so disgusting and harmful. this author needs to stay tf away from all people with OCD right now
Chose not the listen to this one after the trigger warnings list, but commenting to support the channel and say I’ve been enjoying going through and watching your videos
I appreciate that!
26:00 Hmmmm.... its _awfully convenient_ that the only beta reader that had a problem with anything she wrote _magically_ didn't get back to her in time to fix an entire book full of garbage. Very very convenient, and not contrived at all.
Also feels very weird to say she didn't receive any feedback when according to her own narrative, the beta reader had intended to provide the feedback and she just didn't make time to listen to it??? Am I misunderstanding something?
I have been dealing with OCD ever since I could remember as a child. The character who has OCD within the book actually fucked me up and made me panic about my obsessive thoughts coming through. Thank you Brandi .
Mental health and trauma is something I do include in my work, and it makes me uncomfortable when people just steam roll across it.
I also heavily avoid making characters with specific metal illnesses since outside of Anxiety and Depression, I don't have any experience. If people want to label my characters in fandom then I'm all for it, but to make a character with a specific mental illness that I don't have is too taxing on me. I already gotta write SA for one character, and that's gonna be tough for me lol. I don't need to make it anymore harder.
I am disgusted and I feel so bad for what you felt reading this book.
My mum has OCD, she has had it forever and never got treatment unfortunately. It's sometimes "funny" things we could both laugh at like turning the light on and off 3 times to ensure that I don't die in my sleep when she brought me to bed as a kid. Sometimes it's more serious things, like I'll notice she'll stop using an expression or a specific word because in her mind using that word spells doom. Or how since I moved out of the country her OCD has gotten so much more control over her life because her concerns are magnified by the distance... She's an absolutely amazing mum who has sacrificed everything to ensure me and my siblings would never be missing out on anything. I am beyond privileged to have someone like her as my guardian. This depiction of OCD mums as violent lunatics is so disgusting and so harmful. Sending plenty of love your way, keep doing your amazing work
oh my god rachel i also have OCD and the way you explained your "symptoms" (not sure if theres a better word for it, english isnt my first language) made me feel so seen. much love from a viewer in germany you relates to you plenty
Symptoms is correct btw. Also I totally agree. It really makes me feel better about OCD.
@@Ihavetoomanyhobbies115 ty for confirming! id hate to use insensitive or incorrect terminology when referring to my own disorder dkjfhdk
@@BlackReshiramno don't worry lol. I think I accidentally use wrong terms sometimes even tho English is my native language. I think your doing a great job and your comment was very good and well written.
Post-partem intrusive thoughts are super common. Pregnancy and childbirth are some of the most metal shit a human can do. The hormone and neurotransmitter stew afterward is no less brutal.