AUTHORS BEHAVING BADLY | Brandi Elise Szeker
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(I am diagnosed with DID) I'll keep saying this until people actually start listening - nothing about us without us. You cannot accurately portray disorders you don't experience. You can write about it, but you need to include the opinions of people who do experience it, because they are always going to be better at picking out what's a harmful portrayal.
As a fellow DID system, I second this. (also, hello! I don't run into too many other systems in the wild, so it's always nice to see another system
@@apocalypso3427 💚💚💚
@@notlurking2128 I hope this is alright to ask, but as someone who enjoys writing stories, I want to be able to do this correctly. When discussing experiences with a system, should we ask/interview more than one alter in a system? I imagine each experience is unique and I want to make sure the portrayal is accurate and respectful. Or would one be able to represent for the others?
@@JJayTheGoat Thank you for being so respectful. Every system is different, but as a general rule I would try to interview more than one alter per system. This is because, though not definitive, alters tend to have 'roles' like Host, Persecutor, Protector, ECT. So if you're writing a system and you write a perspective of a "protector", but you have only interviewed a "host" you might miss out on some nuance that a protector would have shared that the host does not know about. Of course, this is extremely generalised, so I'd take it on a case by case basis and what the system is comfortable with.
@@JJayTheGoat also be very careful who you interview, tiktok has currently popularized faking DID. The fakedisorderscringe subreddit actually has a lot of good info on the legal requirements to meet for a DID diagnosis as well as general red flags to look for. (Must be at least 18, though generally it’s 20’s on, having more than a 8 or 9 alters, people claiming DID without having had deep childhood trauma, etc.) Good luck!
Anybody who uses the term "woke mob" is worthy of immediate contempt.
they need to touch grass lmao
And anyone who acts like a member of the woke mob is immediately worthy of contempt. They are the puritans of today.
"woke mob"
You mean people you hurt and upset because you said something awful?
What do you mean, and how so?
Intrusive thoughts in mothers, especially shortly after giving birth, is often attributed to the brain obsessing over FEARS we have around caring for our children. Because we fear bad things happening to them, our brain tries to rationalize the worst case scenario of what our kid could experience and of course the worst case scenario would be us, the parents, purposefully or unintentionally inflicting harm.
Just want to make that clear to any parents and mothers currently suffering through intrusive thoughts or who might have them in the future.
These thoughts are NOT our desires, they are our worst nightmares that our brain is struggling to cope with. It is not a reflection on you as a person, it shows you have a very empathetic nature in the way your mind is creating scenarios so that you can avoid them.
Stay strong, it gets better.
If anyone is experiencing postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis please seek professional help. There are a multitude of reasons you may be experiencing these symptoms.
This! My mother only deals with anxiety/depression. The intrusive thoughts she had after my birth terrified her. Going as far as breaking down while telling nurses. It's a common experience after giving birth. What makes you a "bad" person is if they're acted on. She only told me about it when I was 20yrs old. It was a sweet moment to confirm to her that it wasn't her fault. Didn't change our relationship or how I thought of her.
When the market refuses to support you because you produce trash? You haven't been cancelled. I don't buy cruddy paper towels, badly made clothes, or hateful books. And I tell others, "Hey, don't buy those paper towels, those clothes, or that book." That's not cancellation. That's the market at work.
Yes 👍💯
the industry silences marginalized creators often by saying "its good, but marketing this is risky" but brandi wouldnt know what thats like lol. canceling implies support has been withdrawn. u have to have support for support to be withdrawn.
Periodt!
Cancel culture is when you go a bit further than that and start 'punishing' people who do choose to speak out in support of, or continue to support someone by platforming them or buying their product and/or selling their project, using intimidation, shame, and other tactics to make people afraid to decide for themselves. That, is unacceptable. Just choosing not to support them yourself and recommending (but still respecting the rights of others to do whatever THEY feel is right, including giving good reviews, or offering an alternative perspective) that they don't use this product either is just fine. Consider what happened to Sharon Osbourne, when she stood up for Piers Morgan, her friend - THAT was a toxic example of cancel culture.
Agreed. There are so many people experiencing this type of thing and calling it cancelation, and it's not, dude. They're just not a great actor, or the trend has moved away from them, or they're writing books to a niche audience who don't really like the writing ... the list goes on.
"She's a very popular tiktok author."
Say no more, that explains so much
“tiktok” and “author” are words I wish never went together ever again ever and yet. they do so often. in spite of how much I hate it
her blaming the problematic aspects of the book on ONE beta reader is the most unbelievable thing ever to me
I got as far as "a land called DEMENTIA" and all I could think was ...is this a dystopian Modelland? Did this author get inspired by Tyra Banks?!
Honestly, I thought of Elder Scrolls Oblivion dlc(?) of Shagorath's/"The Mad God"'s world where you enter through Dementia or Mania after a short bit
"You can't pretend this hasn't done any harm just because it's fiction." 👏👏
I wish I could boost this on Mastodon; these are the words I've been looking for
Art affects society. Art changes as society does. What you read can affect your beliefs. And reading graphic inaccurate representation can affect your health.
I hate, hate, hate when people act like they are such a better person because they are able to "forgive". Like, can we just admit that forgiveness isn't a magic fix all and there are things that are rightfully unforgivable?
Oh yes totally agree with you 💯👍
Preach!!
and forgiveness is SUCH a personal thing. What is forgivable to some might not be forgivable to someone else.
literally!! i am not a bad person for not forgiving people who did long-term damage to me. i don't owe them that at all. i HATE this narrative that forgiveness is a thing that everyone should hand out in every situation - you just put it into way better words than i was ever able to.
ATLA thought us that through Katara
Usually, the ones who complain the most about “cancel culture” would never in a million years lift a finger to help The Dixie Chicks or Colin Kaepernick. What happened to Brandi wasn’t “cancel culture”. It’s the natural consequences of bad behavior. It’s how life works. Rachel, you have every right in the world to be pissed off at her. I too am angry about how she hurt so many people with her carelessness. Google is free and sensitivity readers are worth paying for! As for you, Rachel…digital hugs from Washington State.
She could have literally just googled “(xyz marginalized people) stereotypes” and avoided those things! It wouldn’t make it good but it sure would be better!
@@GrainneSheridantbh it felt like she did google that & just made that her writing notes
You can write dark romance without being so incredibly offensive, Brandi.
or she could've gone w/ any other genre besides romance, to begin w/ ngl
What’s “dark romance”? Sexual violence against women? I don’t get why some whites have a problem that use disorders like this in books but think it’s A-Ok to write violent, misogynistic sexual fantasies targeting women, under the guise of “freedom” and “kinks”. No, shame both.
Rachel: "It's called dementia."
Me: Oh no, it's THAT book.
Who tf would name a country Dementia smh it’s offensive to people who actually have dementia
@@mglarson5936 pretty much the only thing I heard about this book was some variation of "this author treats mental health so incredibly bad that she literally named one of the places Dementia" like what on earth was going on in her head.
to actually write that OCD would cause you to hurt your child - it’s sickening. I also have OCD and intrusive thoughts and I literally have struggled for YEARS.
This is written by someone who doesn’t understand intrusive thoughts and it’s SICKENING.
Rachel I hear you. Even good OCD rep triggers me sometimes,I can’t imagine trying to read something like that. Thank you for bringing this to the table.
24:50 "I'm a liberal with all of the according views" is a perfect way to sum up how neo-liberals view activism. They think that voting blue and supporting the concept of gay marriage absolves them of all guilt for the actual harm that they do. It doesn't matter what "views" you hold when your actions actively harm marginalized people. Especially when you are PROFITTING from those actions. Praxis matters. Your " views " don't mean anything unless you put them into practice.
when she said "a liberal with all of the according views" my eyes rolled so hard they fell out of my head. people who say stuff like that clearly don't have "all of the according views", or likely even know what they are
Brandi: I'm a liberal with all of the according views.
Me: Ok, what are they?
Brandi: W-what?
Me: What are your views, as a liberal.
Brandi: ...
my jaw is dropped after you said an area was named dementia...
Also LOVE how her and multiple news outlets are putting the blame for the backlash strictly on trans people when she offended almost every community in one book
You know what my favourite part of her non apology is the blaming of her beta readers. She knew what she had written but she avoids taking accountability by passing the buck. Disgusting behaviour
But also what kind of sycophantic beta readers told her it was fine to go ahead? Either that or they told her about the many other problems but not specifically the anti-trans part and she ignored them. The book is absolutely wretched in every way
@@alisaurus4224 she specifically got beta readers who think awful things about trans and disabled people. She hand picked beta readers who hate these people.
To the author, this might have been a little cash grab, a fun little thought experiment, but to us - the people with mental health issues - our struggles face us every day, we can't just turn them off and be "normal" when we're fed up with symptoms or get overwhelmed with life. The descriptions in the book make my skin crawl. There is almost a sort of voyeuristic glee in it... as if the author wants to point at us and shout: "HEY LOOK, HEY LOOK AT THE FREAKSHOWS." They make me feel like a zoo animal in a small enclosure for neurotypicals to gawk at us open mouthed or animals at the circus waiting to perform our next "trick". I think I need a break-
unrelated question but would you be willing to hide a body in your backyard? Definitely unrelated to the author
“I was cancelled 😭😭” bestie was getting held accountable for her genuinely awful actions. Her book is not “dark” it is blatantly offensive and cruel and I’m sick of the “dark” genre being an excuse for shitty authors to be shitty people and perpetuate their shitty bigoted and harmful views💩
You can write a grimdark world full of abuse and violence and fear it’s all about how you write it and she didn’t write it well at all.
These kind of people call any criticism “bullying”. It’s another way to avoid responsibility. It gives the same energy as, “It was a joke. Why are *you* so sensitive?”
As a disabled Trans Woman who trains organisations on how to work in that intersection for a living . I have never seen less work put into sensitivity or awareness and a less self aware apology. You don't get grace if aren't using the time to fix things and correct the mistake, That's what grace is for .
A. Hope you are doing ok now, we care for ya💛
B. The author is exactly how I imagine her, a rich white woman who doesn't care about the way her books affect others and will throw a fit if you criticize her.
Edit: not her arse thinking 'canceling' is worse then transphobia 💀💀💀
You say 'Emo sunset', I say the German flag. Appreciating the shoutout to the German fanbase, queen. 😤🤌🏻
The author describing herself as a "Liberal with all the according views" is kind of chilling. What does that mean, ma'am?
I don't know much about self-publishing but isnt the point you have control over your "deadlines" etc?
Yeah no, she’s conservative. She just doesn’t want to admit it.
My fiancée struggles with intrusive thoughts and compulsive tendencies. When we get out of the car, she always tells me to lock it and she has to hear the horn 3 times. She does the same thing at the store, picking “the right one”. She gets frustrated with herself, because she knows that it doesn’t make any real sense but it doesn’t matter. Anxiety says that if the horn doesn’t beep 3 times then something will happen to our car or to us. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this, friend. ❤
A good friend of mine has DID, and I've never seen her in any form become violent. There is one side to her that gets quite angry but is never violent. She's ended up staying home most of the time, sadly, because once people find out that she had DID, they react as people usually do. Even her family has largely left her out of their lives, although her husband has stuck by her through thick and thin. He and I and a few other people are her support system, and I'm glad that I can be there for her.
One small note - I work with the elderly in an assisted living facility and I've seen people with many kinds of dementia. For someone to use it as a place name really irks me. I've never read any of Szeker's works and I never will if I can help it, and to me, her using the name of a mental disorder as a place name is another example of her insensitivity towards the way things really are with this and the other things she includes in her writings, like DID and child murder.
Also, if she couldn't get her book published by a reputable publisher, maybe she needs to try to figure out why. As you said, bad books do get published in the traditional way, but it's probably not as easy, and there might be some not-quite-right reason for this.
I'll stop now, or else I'll just go off on a rant, and this is not the place for me to do that. Thanks for sharing this video, and it's helped me to decide to avoid this author. I always appreciate such things. I don't like to support those who get things so horribly wrong and who show an utter lack of respect and compassion for people who suffer.
I think the thing that completely discredits her apology is that she acknowledged becoming aware of major issues before release date. While I understand that the stress of the waste of money of having the books already ready to go, as an aspiring author i would like to think I would have postponed release and took the loss to avoid this kind of harm in her situation. This is also why it is so handy in self publishing that they can be printed through some places on a per order bases so you don’t risk wasted stock
Adding that I made this comment about halfway through the video, and wow she just gets so much worse 😳
@@victoriamasters I just got to this point, how far down the iceberg are we going?!
Right?? The way the trigger warnings are worded makes it clear that she knew things were wrong (factually and morally) but decided if she slapped a disclaimer on it that would make it all better. Dumb!
Wow. I had no idea about OCD symptoms and motherhood were a thing. She really put in as many stigmas as she could into this book.
This is why people say "write what you know". She could have learned about the conditions she wanted to depict BEFORE writing the book. Then she'd already have a solid foundation for the book that isn't based in pure stereotype. Instead, she apparently relied on others to fix the mess she caused and backtrace all the bad stuff in the book.
Also her excuse for not getting the feedback is "yeah we had a tight deadline so I rushed it and sent it off." Regardless of the beta reader going silent, I really don't think this is the kind of story you rush...
(tw discussing my mental health, post-partum, and general mental health)
I dealt with post-partum psychosis after the birth my son and thinking back to what felt like rational thoughts 16 years on is still hard. It took years to work through and forgive myself for what my mind was saying, what I wanted to do. How it triggered my cptsd in a way I hadn't experienced since I was in high school. I was lucky that I never acted on the intrusive thoughts, that I had a moment of clarity long enough to say something was wrong, even though my ob/gyn was dismissive. It could have been so much worse, and for many people it is.
These aren't things to make into a twisted "dark romance". My experiences of CSA, abuse, ED, addiction, these are not playthings. They will never be.
I'm sorry if this is rambling, this video hit me hard. I cannot imagine the strength it's taken to make a video on it. Thank you for speaking out and using your platform in this way. Please take time to be kind to yourself. We love you, Rachel 💜
You’re not rambling at all. I deeply appreciate you sharing your experiences with me. ❤️
The "fan casting Sam Claflin" thing is so insulting because you onow that means she sees her character as her series' version of Finnick Odair from THG without understanding anything about Finnick's character. Finnick was a revolutionary character, a man who was trafficked and sold into sex work and experienced CSA, but he uses the pain that caused him to try to change the world so that no one ever has to suffer like he did. And while I'm not going to champion for fictional characters, it does feel like a disservice to Suzanne Collins to see this beloved character she made and then say "but what if he took those harrowing experiences he went through and used them as justification to assault people".
The way this book handles OCD and intrusive thoughts it’s just maddening. As someone who does suffer from traumatic intrusive thoughts thank you for talking about it and calling out the immense harm that she is causing with these books.
This book seems to have the vibes of the first time you try to write at 13 and you write the most shocking thing possible to be “unique.” And then you go on to grow and mature and write much better books.
you don't need to forgive anyone in order to heal... i will never forgive people who hurt me, it doesn't make me a spiteful, mean or bad person that's stuck in the past. stop forcing victims to forgive anyone. especially when the person who hurt them is living lavish but the victim can't even afford mental health help
Yeah I agree with you
My mom is a raging narcissist and she told me she has long forgiven herself for the horrendous child abuse against me and my sister because she was doing her best, don't burden yourselves with trying to forgive people who don't deserve anything less than to rot in hell for all eternity.
@@c.w.8200 Yes it's awfully "convenient" of these types of people to forgive themselves...
Tbh, I agree, but even if I didn't, telling people they have to forgive people seems like a great way to get them to do the opposite
Me too. Forgiveness is just an invitation to be treated like that again in my experience.
Of course The Daily Fail took that stance. I'm so sorry you had to go through this Rachel. I have severe anxiety, a survivor of CSA, and am a mother, the part you struggled to discuss felt so triggering to me too.
The Daily Fail has always been trash. There's a tribe of people on twitter that call tabloid paper that same name and I wholeheartedly agree with the name.
Daily fail made me giggle. I will definitely use it again
I have OCD and having the idea of someone with OCD *GIVING IN* to something so many of us have (ie. harming children or loved ones) as an intrusive thought is SO INCREDIBLY HARMFUL. To anyone with OCD that’s struggling- you are not your thoughts, intrusive thoughts reflect your biggest fears. They are not a reflection of your morality. You are good. You are safe. You are loved.
People complaining about being cancelled, are the same people that tell bullied children to "ignore and stay away from the bullies". That is what someone does when they cancel you
OMG Rachel, I had the same OCD shit going on when my own son was in the NICU! I thought if I don’t get more than X miles away from the hospital he won’t die. If I never laugh at something funny on TV, he won’t die. And on and on. I have never actually heard it said out loud from someone else, and that was 20 years ago. I’m sorry for our pain, but thankful to have heard something I thought I was alone in actually spoken about. ❤️
Wow this makes me feel so much less alone 🥹😭💕
@@ReadswithRachel 💕
Thank you for being up the “cancel culture” of it all, I am so fucking sick of people complaining about facing the consequences of their own actions!! If people no longer like you or want to support you financially, emotionally, mentally, etc, then they’re within their right to do so!!!
I hate how people demonize Ed and ocd. Mine are linked. My ocd makes me obsess with food and harm myself. My face and back are filled with scars from compulsive skin picking. People just tell me to stop. It’s so isolating.
my god i could literally have written this comment myself down to every detail, you are not alone in this!! it's so fucking tough, people don't have even the SLIGHTEST clue of what it's like to live like this every day... sending all the virtual love and strength from this random internet stranger
I'm really sorry you suffer with that
This kind of make me realize…I’ve never thought it like that…I’ve been suffering from a ED for more than 15 years now…I constantly remove my toenails until it bleeds…I never thought those things could be relate it.. Thanks for sharing.
My ocd is linked with picking and with disordered eating too. It’s so hard to explain to people that my “picky eating” is really my fear or contaminations and once my food is wrong in some way in my brain I can’t eat it anymore.
When she mentioned it had poor OCD rep I was like, 'man, no one knows about OCD except for the perfectionism (OCPD) and obsessive cleaning- Itll be typical misinformation and it'll be fine.' boom. Gut punch. How she even managed to write this I will never know lmao. I've told my partner that when we have a kid I want therapy because I'm so afraid my OCD will act up. I have the 'indecisive if you pick the wrong one someone will get hurt'' compulsion really badly and this with a child sounds soul destroying 😑
Good to know that "Give a man a mask and he will show you who he really is" also applies to women.
"Oh, I am not (insert)phobic, the characters and the society in my books are!"
I think what makes me the most mad about the author’s response was that she had the audacity to say “Well none of the beta readers TOLD me that there was anything harmful in the book”. First, the fact that you needed to be told that you had triggering situations and bad representation in your book means you’re horribly under equipped to write about these things. Second, did you bother to hire any beta readers that had experience with any of the traumas or diagnosis you wrote about in your book? Because that’s still your fault for not getting better beta readers when your whole intent is that you want to write about a problematic dystopia.
She's publishing books in a matter of months, meanwhile I've been writing the same bloody idea since seventh grade. FML XD
Well, at least you know there's a distinct difference in quality between you two. Rushing out a book is rarely good for your story. I have no doubt your book is infinitely better written then hers because you care about it way more. Keep on writing and don't worry about others doing it faster than you!
I think there was another author (was it JM Arlen?) who spent YEARS on a book and held it over reviewers’ heads. Some people are fast writers, some are slow, no impact on quality. Look at the likes of Nora Roberts and Brandon Sanderson…both are prolific and consistent in quality. I don’t think being fast or slow is the problem…it’s just lack of care for other people.
Same.
Took me ten years to finish my first book and it was totally worth it. I’m coming out with another book soon just about nine years after my last one.
before tuning into this channel I had no idea authors were so serious about reviewers. I hate to see how these people harassing you just get away with it. I hope you’re able to keep going on TH-cam despite it all, love this channel so much.
Yeah I really hate it when authors harasse Rachel
For real!! It really shows how fragile some authors are when it comes to opinions of readers and constructive criticism, especially authors like this one who have poorly written works.
They shouldn’t be writing then because honestly to be so stinking thin skinned in the writing industry? They’d suffer immensely in fashion. Heck, make them work at a coffee shop during rush and they would just crumble.
While I do like to hear about Autors who behave badly, I think you should strongly consider, which books to read and which to skip. No one here will think badly of you if you leave out a bad autor for someone else to cover when the topic at hand is too emotionally harmful for you.
Take care!
This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. I was often shamed into reading books that had personal triggers for me because 'they're just books, what harm will they really do'... It was after I had a complete blackout after a panic attack after reading a book that made me realise that I had to take care of myself and not pick up books that bring more harm than good.
It was a difficult lesson.
@@TiffWaffles It might have been a difficult lession, but I'm sure it was one worth learning. Hopefully you're better able to keep yourself safe now. Stay strong, you can pull through. I hope you also have friends and family who can help you through a difficult time.
Unfortunately, people who don't suffer from panic attacks rarely understand how bad triggers can be and how things that seem harmless to them can affect other people.
That's why it's always better to listen to yourself rather than others when it comes to things like this.
Because of my personal triggers, I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch this one, but thank you for speaking out and I hope you are doing well ❤️ see you next time!
I totally understand ❤️
I have OCD too. It got so bad when I was pregnant my daughter was born early and they believe the anxiety is why. I had horrible intrusive thoughts about harming my daughter especially at the beginning. I told my mom one of those thoughts and she was like “those are things you don’t say out loud” it is so so rough
I'm sorry that when you shared your feelings that you weren't supported how you should and I hope you are okay.
Quill, if you see this by any chance, I have a message for you. I support you even though you consider yourself an alter and feel like an impostor. You are a valid part of a whole. I believe that true healing of this divergence can only be achieved when all alters are known, can share cohesively, and agree to work towards a goal of integration of all. I hope you can find guidance towards this transition, and you and your others stay concious and well. Love to you all from a stranger on the internet that is compassionate to this cause!💓
I wanted to sincerely thank you for your strength and courage to tell your story of OCD and postpartum depression. It’s never talked about despite so many people who have brains that tell them to do something bad and 99% of the people never even act it- I would call myself someone who has thoughts or urges but will not act on them. You’re not alone.
Wait, out of everything someone threatened to sue you for possibly making a video on them in the future? That's already stating their intent of filling a SLAPP suit against you. At least that's what it sounds like. I'm sorry that happened to you. If it was an author for this particular series, the internet is forever and someone has those receipts.
Empty threats. People have no right to stop people from talking about them.
@@Ketutar
Exactly, people who threaten to sue them like this are cowards and usually have no bases.
as someone with a dissociative disorder, i'm always very heartened by those without one standing up for us and calling out how nasty depictions in media can get. i and many friends were very concerned when the movie split came out a while back as it really leaned into a lot of harmful stereotypes and misinfo and there was a lot of worry about how much that would set awareness/the fight against stigma back, but things like this prove that people are still listening 💝
I don't have DID, but Split really upset me. It really demonstrates that while depression and anxiety having been gaining acceptance, other mental health issues are still extremely stigmatized. It seems like a lot of people think because they pay lip service to mental health that gives them a license to repeat harmful stereotypes.
@@afckingegg7585 exactly. like, I'm glad there's improvement when it comes to some mental health issues (though there's a LONG way to go even with anxiety/depression), so many are still treated like inherent evils. just the way people talk about personality disorders (especially npd, aspd, etc) shows how much work there is to do yet
I’m probably one of the few people who refuses to watch Split because I personally know someone with alters and I’m so fucking tired of every piece of media where someone has multiple personalities portraying them as psycho.
DESPISE split with our entire heart
@@skyeaurelliah9883 yes. Exactly.
even tho this is an upsetting topic, your little giggle when saying "Jack and Jill" in the beginning makes me smile. I'm so sorry that you've gone through all this
Thank you Rachel and everyone without dissociative disorders speaking up and standing up for us! It’s so hard to see us constantly being villainized and perpetuating misinfo and stereotypes and makes me feel extremely unsafe as a system.
I’m so sorry for everything y’all have to deal with. I hope one day we as a society can move past villainizing and romanticizing disorders and learn to accept people as they are.
I have chronic daily headache and migraine syndrome, which is just a fancy way of saying I have headaches and migraines all the time, and I’d seriously watch a video produced in ambient light so you don’t have a light shining directly in your face. That’s like a nightmare scenario for a migraine. Hope you feel better soon!
Following my CSA, I developed extreme intrusive thoughts that were so horrible that I believed I didn't deserve to exist anymore. To see a cishet with no mental illness (that I know of) use an experience that destroyed my life to demonize both people with OCD and transgender people is heartbreaking. Mentally ill people and transgender people are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators, in relation to abuse.
Thank you for your vulnerability surrounding your OCD. I was diagnosed with severe OCD when I was close to 13 years old, and it is an absolutely isolating and petrifying horror of an illness to have. The fear and distress that it causes is so so much to deal with, and it is immensely tiring to see it featured as some sort of watered-down quirk in media. Thank you for speaking your mind about this. I hope that your migraine goes away soon, too. ❤
me too. sending love your way, it’s so hard and isolating!
Some people will never truely understand the weight of intrusive thoughts. And the fear you have of someone finding them out and judging you for them
OCD is a burden. Random guilt, intrusive thoughts and rituals are a burden
Intrusive thoughts attack your morals and try to break you down convincing you that you are dangerous.
But you are not, the thoughts aren't you. The disgust you feel towards those thoughts are you. You are a good caring person.
Trust me, I know it's hard. But you matter and you aren't alone
I don’t have DID, but I have another trauma disorder and it hurts to see depictions of mental illness causing people to be violent and manipulative. It’s honestly insulting and ignores the reality of mentally ill people being a vulnerable group.
I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and I'm writing an adult fantasy book, and I can tell you there is no instance of ANY character in my book being disgusted by a trans person's body, or assaulted by a trans person, despite the fact that there are several major trans and non-binary characters. Her allyship is BS. Maybe she's rethought things and is a trans ally now, but she certainly wasn't at the time she wrote this book.
Can authors who don’t have and do not understand OCD please leave us alone? Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD. You know thoughts are not facts 💕
Everything about her book reminds me of the shit I wrote in my notebooks when I was 14. And that stuff will never see the light of day because it just isn't good, but I do think it was important for me to write it so I could understand more about myself and practice the craft. You don't publish your first drafts of the stuff you wrote because you think writing dark things is deep
as someone with bulim*a, ocd & gender dysphoria i’m scared to watch this 😅
thank you for your videos Rachel!
if you don’t have to deal with the disorders or are not trans, you have NO right accepting an apology at all.
Just a reminder that people that have OCD and struggle with violent intrusive thoughts are actually way less likely than the average person to harm others because it’s literally embedded within our disorder to do everything we can to prevent our thoughts from happening (i.e. compulsions). My OCD made me extremely suicidal and I would literally isolate myself because I was so terrified of my thoughts coming true. Despite being in regular therapy, I didn’t say anything for months to my therapist because I was scared she would be disgusted by me. Thankfully, she is wonderful and helped me with ERP therapy but if I had read this book when I was in the depths of my disorder, I don’t even want to think about how I would react. OCD is genuinely one of the most misunderstood mental disorders and writing about it in this way is so disgusting.
Some people really do just ignore the intrusive part of intrusive thoughts bc they don’t understand/don’t care to understand. I’m happy to hear you found help ❤
Your eye makeup is *awesome* Rachel. And it’s reminding me of a much better dystopian book- I’m getting big Catching Fire vibes from it, and I love that series. Also, I respect the heck out of you for going into your experience with the book and your health issues. I cannot blame you at all for not wanting to touch the rest of the series with a ten foot pole considering its effect.
hmmm as someone with a history of suicidal thoughts i always get such an ick when i see authors going “sorry i didn’t do better/didn’t respond i was suicidal” because i hate devaluing that as an experience but it also feels so much like an excuse? it’s one of those moments where i wish that people didn’t use mental illness (and specifically suicidal thoughts) as a wall against doing better or wtvr. idk if i articulated this well but i always feel so upset when i see people who have been “attacked” immediately say they’re dealing with suicidal thoughts cause i can never tell when it genuine
I was going to make a TT last year about the tea leaves bc I was DISGUSTED, but then they mysteriously disappeared from her insta so super interesting to see that she’s back to promoting them. Clearly the author doesn’t give a shit about hurting anyone who might accidentally find themselves in her readership
Can I just say: your eyeshadow looks AMAZING!
Daily mail is British and filled with British style of racism (because in UK it is worse to be called a racist than to be a racist, they treat getting called racist like a slur but being racist very openly on national TV is acceptable) and TERF sort of transphobia.
Tbh, sometimes the online hate machine finds someone to bully and that sucks.
Writing all the bullshit she did doesn't make her sone victim. I always try to think of a way to amend a situation. In this case, it would have been to just never have written this tripe.
Several things people had issues with, I could see someone mishandling in good faith...if it was like one or two. Everything combined makes me feel like she's a mean girl who got caught.
BTW thank you for the info about ocd. Genuinely, I knew it's probably a rough thing to deal with (adhd here so there's overlap) but I didn't have the knowledge to know just how bad the old thing in the book would be so I appreciate it greatly. Especially since you had to go through more distress to include that info
Thinking of you. Seriously.
I work in a hospital and even though I don't work in NICU I get emotional whenever I handle their prescriptions. So I can't even imagine what it was like to have your own baby in there on top of having intrusive thoughts. OCD is no joke. I did my masters on it and people seriously underestimate how debilitating it is and it's so misrepresented. I won't even get started on misrepresentation on DID, trans people, and so many other issues. Wishing you and your family all the best ♡
36:18 i dont think ive ever seen "TRAs" used by anyone other than terfs lol, whenever someone uses that its such an obvious tell, and the fact that shes been using it to refer to trans ppl is very sussy
Will never get over these non apologies people post that devote more time to defending themselves and painting themselves as the victim than the three sentence "apology" at some point in the middle of all of it. Those always are such obvious indicators that they're not really remorseful, or are at least so self absorbed that they prioritize their hurt feelings over the reality that they have hurt other people, but it's even more obvious when every time they "engage" or "reach out" to those they have hurt to "listen". They don't ask questions or try to learn they just constantly talk about themselves. her conversation with Rhys was so infuriating to hear in how she never listened or even responded to any of the points made and just stopped when she failed to get the sympathy she clearly wanted. thank you for your bravery in making this video when it was so hard for you Rachel. I appreciate all the effort, time, and emotion you put into talking about things like this. ❤❤🐤
Well said!
This lady gives me real JKR Energy, claiming she's an "ally" and then liking transphobic comments while continuing to make transphobic statements lmao. Awful person, clearly doesn't understand her own bad behavior.
Your discussion of your OCD was very brave to share, and I hope you're feeling okay!
Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD as a parent. I’m a preschool teacher with ocd, and a lot of my intrusive thoughts in the day revolve around the kids. It’s never easy to admit, but It’s also very encouraging knowing others are around staying strong through similar experiences. Keep up the great content, and take care of yourself!
I'm a teaching student and whenever i work with kids i have absolutely horrid intrusive thoughts. I love kids, but my brain is always in the worst places around them. I'm glad I'm not the only one, and i really admire you working as a teacher despite the thoughts. You're so brave ❤ i personally decided to work with older kids, partially bc the younger kids (especially preschool age) give me such horrible anxiety. I wish you the best 😊❤
Hi Rachel, you are amazing. You are a great mom.
My mom always told me: "If you go to the bed, both your kids a are alive and sleeping, that was a good day! And if you managed to even take a shower, it was a great day!"
And every good day counts.
I have OCD intrusive thoughts too and mine revolve around my heath and hurting my animals… you’re not alone, Rachel.
I really admire the way you’re able to speak about things that have hurt & upset you with such clarity and justice. I hope your migraine eases up, take care of yourself Rachel ❤❤
Edit: 58:03 - as a host of a system, yes and no. Some people do consider relationships with other alters to be polyam in nature, since they are their own distinct personalities, but they are still part of the main host. It's really up to personal interpretation and can vary by system.
OH okay thank you for speaking on this. It makes sense that it would be on a case by case basis.
As someone who deals with severe intrusive thoughts, I’m so sick and tired of misinformation and ignorant takes on intrusive thoughts and OCD
Mental health and trauma is something I do include in my work, and it makes me uncomfortable when people just steam roll across it.
I also heavily avoid making characters with specific metal illnesses since outside of Anxiety and Depression, I don't have any experience. If people want to label my characters in fandom then I'm all for it, but to make a character with a specific mental illness that I don't have is too taxing on me. I already gotta write SA for one character, and that's gonna be tough for me lol. I don't need to make it anymore harder.
Also refering to trans activists as "TRAs" can be a transphobic dogwhistle. It comes from a transphobic slogan "TRAs are MRAs" a way of comparing trans issues to misogynist groups like the Men's Rights Activism/ Men's Rights Movement.
You just have to love the names in her books. Surviva? Really?
oh my god rachel i also have OCD and the way you explained your "symptoms" (not sure if theres a better word for it, english isnt my first language) made me feel so seen. much love from a viewer in germany you relates to you plenty
Symptoms is correct btw. Also I totally agree. It really makes me feel better about OCD.
@@Ihavetoomanyhobbies115 ty for confirming! id hate to use insensitive or incorrect terminology when referring to my own disorder dkjfhdk
@@BlackReshiramno don't worry lol. I think I accidentally use wrong terms sometimes even tho English is my native language. I think your doing a great job and your comment was very good and well written.
As somebody also battling OCD/Anxiety, hearing you talk about it really hits home.
And on top of dangerous mental health romanticization, it sounds like we may have yet another case of romanticizing a toxic relationship.
It sucks that you beat yourself up for your intrusive thoughts when MOST mothers do. It’s a super common for new moms especially, to have these intrusive thoughts, because your anxiety is higher at that time.
Exactly. I don't want to act like OCD motherhood is just as hard as anything else, but this is something even neurotypical mothers deal with to some extent. Of course it's amplified by the OCD, but that does not a bad mother make. Even if no one without OCD experienced it, it still wouldn't mean you don't love your child or wouldn't do anything to protect them ❤
Still reading the title of the book as The PRAWN and the PUPPY-- that aside I hope you're taking care of yourself and your migraine goes away soon
Jesus fucking Christ. I’ve been struggling with PTSD for around 8 years now. Why? I was manipulated, assaulted, groomed and directly harmed by a person who created a persona based on bad DID representation in media. They lied about having it and used this story to justify every bad thing they did to me.
This resulted in me developing trust issues, severe panic attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts, ED and PTSD, on top of making it way harder to deal with my already problematic bipolar and narcissistic/masochistic personality disorders. It made me think I don’t deserve help, and even now that I’m an adult, I still get violent flashbacks and have to deal with these consequences. They don’t just go away.
I am by no means in any position to speak for the people with DID, but what I CAN say is that people have used inaccurate descriptions of it as an excuse.
This not only perpetuates the stigma around a legitimate disorder that (from what I know) is already hard to deal with in today’s society, but also allows others to use misinterpreted symptoms of it to get away with abuse.
DID is not something that turns people into abusers. Let’s stop treating it like it does and for fucks sake, stop writing about deeply sensitive topics you’re not knowledgeable about.
Rachel, great video as always. I’m deeply sorry you had to go through this book and everything it caused later. The information you gave on ways to look for sensitivity readers was very helpful for me as an aspiring author. Much love and sorry for the traumadump, I just cannot believe how this woman can be so stupid and ignorant while also trying to excuse it by labeling her book as ‘dark’.
I’m not even gonna start on the transphobia, but as a trans person, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna accept her apology.
I hate that "apology video" for one nitpicky thing. The fact she tries to cover herself by saying she's a liberal and believes "all the corresponding views". Like that's so dumb and just cover, akin to virtue signaling to get people off her back. Liberals and leftists in general are infamous for DIS-agreeing with the minutia of policy and views. This is just a meaningless sentiment from her and it bothers me.
To clarify, JK is not "liberal" politically, only by party affiliation. Similar to how a centre-right voter in the USA can be a "democrat/liberal". She's a neo-liberal, which means 1980s Conservative except she likes gay people and women's rights because they directly effect her.
I posted a TikTok explaining how much harm TPatP did to me because of my OCD and PND. Something like 10 hours later, I was blocked by Brandi. 😒
Brandi really thinks she can be the victim claiming this bs made her wanna self harm... as a trans man who does struggle with self harm thoughts... her apology is crap. Her victimization... no. No.
As a fellow self-published author, I hope I never get to the point where I'm ignoring the words of people I've hurt, even unintentionally.
26:00 Hmmmm.... its _awfully convenient_ that the only beta reader that had a problem with anything she wrote _magically_ didn't get back to her in time to fix an entire book full of garbage. Very very convenient, and not contrived at all.
Also feels very weird to say she didn't receive any feedback when according to her own narrative, the beta reader had intended to provide the feedback and she just didn't make time to listen to it??? Am I misunderstanding something?
I’m the literal worst when it comes to commenting, but I hope you feel better soon. I know it can be exhausting dealing with topics like these, especially when it feels like people don’t care about the harm they’re causing. Stay safe and do what’s best for you 💖
I just want to hug you. But I am an older than dirt person, and living in the UK. Please never, never read or watch anything that hurts you. There's so much better stuff for you in the world, and you deserve it. Please.
Abigail Shrier about to accept Brandi's apology and send her a rainbow themed edible arrangement.
Lol fr
As a trans person, it hurts so much seeing this kind of representation in the media. I already have to deal with transphobia in my home and I don’t want to see it in novels.
Im so sorry that you have gone what you did, you’re an amazing person and I’m happy you’re putting this video out here so people know just how horrible this lady is.
(Also yr makeup slaps)
You look beautiful, I hope you’re okay. Thank you for speaking on things that are hard. It’s really inspiring.
20:27 my god you are so ducking brave
Her naming capabilities match that of a 9 year old child. Yikes.
Skylena sounds like it’s a boner problem pill
Honestly. Skylena? I swear I've heard children use that name for play pretend. Also she named a part of the world "dementia". Sounds like a kid making up names of people and places based off of things they have heard before and occasionally combining words/names to create a new ones.
@@Ihavetoomanyhobbies115 I blame Twilight.
@@peggyluwhoreads oh for sure. Renesme is nuts and among other names in the franchise definitely inspired authors to be "original" and just bullshit a bunch of names that are combinations or other words
Thank you so much for talking about this. I also have OCD and it’s scary to think such a misrepresentation and quite frankly, dangerous depiction of it is out there. It took me 17 years to realize that I had OCD, due to the it already being so terribly handled in media. It makes me sick to think that people make books like this.