Lies We Believed as Single Christians | Christian Singleness + Dating
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ม.ค. 2024
- There are a lot of lies that Christians believe when we're single. God reveals truths to us about our value and how we should look at life in His Word, and Sadie and I go into what Single Christians should believe about their search for a godly relationship in this video!
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30 yr old single guy here. The most frustrating thing I find dating Christian girls my age is that they’ve waited so long for a spouse, their expectations are so high that it’s almost impossible to get past the first date:
Here to encourage you brother, you're not alone. I'm a guy who's in his late 20s. It's very difficult to date as a Christian but I think you should keep trying and asking people out despite what they said in the video. I think God wants us to take action but be ok if he closes the door. It's not wrong to try and actively date or seek out and desire a spouse
A lot of Christian women don’t even know how to be a wife today, let alone serve others, and the more they are single the more trauma they take on, most of them either want a lead pastor or a rich husband with a form of godliness
Yes this is very true.You are not alone. Trying to help out my single sisters
This is so true that no one talks about. Yeah there are a lot of single Christian women, but they all expect their husband to be a pastor or a missionary and very wealthy. The reason so many Christian women are single is because they turn down normal Godly men all the time saying they just want to be friends. Then we all die alone! it's great!
I'm pretty sure I'm going to marry a secular woman. Way more down to earth.
and thats why its best to ignore them and go your own way
Lies
1. my identity/worth correlates to being single
2. is there something wrong with me that no one wants me
3. has God forgotten me
Truth:
God is close to the brokenhearted, cling to him
God does not withhold good things from us
We have value! Christ died for us
God knows the right timing (may be protecting you and your spouse)
Thank you for the summary.
One of the easiest yet hardest things to do is to allow God to work. We say we want God to take control but the truth is we want to have a say in how He takes control, especially when it comes to life partners. But we need to come to the point where we fully let go and let God.
Don’t agree it’s not fully up to God to find us a partner otherwise you’d be waiting your whole life and God will never force anyone to like us… it’s up to us to look for a spouse as long as we are equally yoked and God will bless the marriage….
@@Shotzzillathey make it sound like sit on your couch they’ll knock on your door like a item from eBay.
😂 its funny actually😂
@@kevindavis4709why do you see it as a rock of offense ?
@@ShotzzillaWouldn't it be cool if God had a say in who you chose, it would be a lot of pressure off your shoulder, but God does respect freewill If this is the way you to get a spouse just chose rightly sis 😚
I struggle so much waiting for God's timing. It's a very good thing that the Lord is patient with us!
how’d you manage with it now?
You can pray for food but God will lead you to a meal.
God's timing? How do you know? Has he spoken audibly to you and told you the date it's going to happen? No, he hasn't, so, what does the bible say? He who FINDS a wife finds what is good.. get out there and make it happen, he can't direct your steps if your not walking forwards.
@@daman7129amen.
Yeah we have patient and awesome God. His timing is something a lot of us struggle with. And God knows your struggles as well. But we can’t forget his timing is perfect. But just like daman7129 said, you need to look for a spouse. Faith without works is dead.
The biggest problem with the first two lies mentioned is that that's how many of us are treated by church, especially when get past 30.
This video was so timely. I was feeling very down today, thinking what is wrong with me that I have had no guy express interest in me. Felt a bit hopeless as well as the new church group that I joined turned out to be full of married couples and only a few single ladies such as myself...
This is normal, don't be in a hurry. But make it a little easier and show signs of interest too, we men don't know how to read minds😂
Those married couples might have friends! I'm glad your in fellowship. It's so important to this journey. If I didn't have the church, I'd have lost it. It saddens me that people forsake church because they've been hurt or went to a fake church and there are plenty. There are wonderful, Bible adhering churches that don't compromise the gospel.
I.m glad you mentioned "future spouse" All I hear esp. on Christian online forums is "God never promises a spouse to every believer that desires marriage" (sometimes from people who are married or engaged) While that is true statement, it gets overused to the point of beating a dead horse.
Thank you for this video! So many wise things you say.
I can relate. The thing is that I have been married, and my husband died a couple of years ago. Just being single again, was hard. I finally come to a place were I embrace it. I don't worry about the future anymore. "Starting over" as a single mother life... is not fun. But I feel God is with me. God has my future in His hands as well. God bless you!❤
I’m sorry for your loss.
We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. May God bless you, comfort you, and give you peace that surpasses all understanding during such a hard season. ♥️
@@samandsadie Amen😌
@@samandsadie Excuse me, what do you believe and teach in your channel on how to be saved and get to heaven for eternity?
That's some great advice here. 23yo guy here and never had a relationship yet. A few years ago I was so insecure about it en feeling indeed like God has forgotten me. But now when I'm a few years older I'm not worrying anymore because I trust God fully. What I really believe is what Matthew said in Matthew 6:33; But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. I was just so focused on myself and what I wanted. Now I'm seeing that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I'm spending more time now with God and I'm a changed person now. God bless you!
As a fifty something never married with no children man I can truly say that not having my own family has been a profoundly negative experience and it isn’t getting any easier.
Its horrible and people in relationships find it easier to give advice
I been flirting with a girl who is very pretty and it’s been progressing fast but I realized I was just craving attention from a girl and I knew this girl wasn’t for me but I still craved it. I had to cut it off today and realized that I can’t force Gods timing and when the time is right I will find the right one. And even if I die single then it wasn’t for me. Just gotta trust God🙏
💯💯🙏🏽 amen
Love y’all!! Great video!
Thank you for this important video!
❤️
This came up in my feed randomly today and was so good. Thank you!
Praying blessings over you, and for your family 😊
Thank you for this 🙏
Thank you for your encouragement! I needed to hear it. I am going through a lot of struggles about my singleness right now. This video is very encouraging, Thank You 🤍
Amen! What a blessing your channel is! Thank you for sharing the truth of God's word and encouragement with others. I am so grateful for y'all and these videos.
Thanks you two for posting this video I really appreciate it! getting encouragement from those who went through the single season and made it through the other side and talked about the struggles they faced in that gives a lot of good perspectives. I enjoyed the watch!
Thank you for sharing your struggles. At times it is so hard to be different from the world. The world glorifies sin and encourages us to do what everyone else is doing. I have had so many conversations with others about waiting on God. Knowing he has the best in store...I just have to have faith.
Love your insight! My husband and I will be celebrating our 30 wedding anniversary this coming October (definitely not single) but I look forward to listening to you share personal experience and godly wisdom. You two are such a light! ♥️💡☀️
Thank you for the reminder to be more patient! this can apply to all other things I've found, I want it done NOW!
Thank you, that is very encouraging :)
Thank you for sharing ❤
Such an amazing video, thank you so much for this. I can totally relate to Sadie, but i know that God is always looking out for us and never forgets His children.
haha what sam said in the last minute of the video exactly describes my situation😂 when trying to make everything 100% right it can be very hard to give everything into Gods hand and let him control your life. It’s so important to be content, grateful und happy in every situation God gives in your in life. And what really matters in the end is to be closely connected to God. Really trying to let this sink into my heart. God bless
Great advice thank you both ❤
I was just really struggling in general this morning and this video popped up. I just want to say thank you guys, you both have a very sweet and calming presence to you, that helped put me back in a good headspace. God bless you both.🙏❤️
I thank you both for posting this video. It astounds me that some will leave hate comments. This video is incredibly encouraging! I am praying for you both. God bless.
Naming each one of my mental battles. I trust God and believe I should not worry yet the desire for a family as I continue to get older burns so strongly it is super challenging to overcome everyday.
Sam and Sadies’s words are very encouraging. God has not forgotten me.
Yes yes yes! More videos please!! 😄
I’ve watched your channel through seasons of dating and singleness and it has been such a comfort and encouragement to me. I am 26 and now in a season of singleness. I feel like I have finally fully surrendered my future spouse to Him, but the waiting now is even more scary
because I realize there is nothing I can try to take in to my own hands. I appreciate your reminder to rest in and enjoy Gods timing. I think I can get so caught up in not wanting to miss something or someone that He has for me, but hearing your words reminded me that I’m not going to miss anything that He wants to happen. You both are a blessing to me and to so many! Thank you
I think the last few years people are becoming more isolated and co dependent on technology and convenience since we are a fast pace instant gratifying society .That is why it is very important you check your faith if your sold out for christ and not grow impatient waiting and allowing yourself to compromise and date like the world which is in shambles . The key thing is being content but still serving in church/community and putting yourself in places of christian fellowship to meet people .
Sam looks at Sadie in the most beautiful light. I aspire to have a relationship like you two have!
Thank you! I think searching for that person is like the hardest thing for me. As a woman, I am trying to put myself in places where young single, Christian men are so they can pursue me. I’ve been doing this for years and I’ve had a few failed interactions. It’s so hard to start over.
I’m also waiting on full-time job right now. I’ve gotten so close to landing a full-time job like two or three times. I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to search for a job or for a person anymore.
You shouldn’t be looking for the man. God will send him at the right time and present you to him. For the job, continue to trust God and ASK HIM what job is in His will for you. He will open it up in its soon time, He knows we need money to live.
I have to agree . I think both men and woman should be serving Jesus in community together which allows for christian fellowship and in that a man would discern if he truly wants to pursue more than a regular friendship. We have to learn to be content but open to possibilities if the lord permits. Blessings.
@@user-wk3ls7vt9m who says you shouldn't be looking for the man. I think this is passivity and there is a difference between believing and trusting/ waiting on God and being passive. When we are passive and we expect something to happen it doesn't make sense to me. In any other area of life we don't do it. If you want to buy a job or a home you don't pray and wait without doing anything at all in the process. We tell God what we want and ask Him his thoughts His desire for us but we also have to do something. whether it's talking to married friends or mentor for advice support sometimes they might know someone who is also single and wanting to marry but to not do anything but pray is not faith
I am a Christian man and most of the Christian women want to have extremely high expectations of the guys they date. Could be that.
Love this video and the timely encouragement. I’m 58 and still waiting for my kingdom partner. Every one of those lies I have fallen for over the years, and it has always baffled me why I’ve had to wait for so long. I still don’t have the answer, but I received encouragement from a dear friend of mine who just got engaged at the age of 55! She also has been waiting a life time for God’s timing, and finally she is getting married to a wonderful godly man. Thanks again for your encouraging word. May God bless you richly in your wonderful ministry. 💗
Stop looking for it. It’s not coming. If someone else gets lucky, it’s only a fluke and God had nothing to do with it. Embrace the cynicism and let it turn your heart to stone.
True! All the points you mentioned are so accurate and encouraging. I asked God two nights ago to take me from broken to whole, and I asked Him to explain what is he doing with me in my state of brokenness. A small voice in the background of my mind said, “You need to be confident in yourself”. That was very profound for me. For a lot of my life people know me as a confident person, but singleness and being alone out of all my friends in singleness tanked my confidence 😂. I moved away from a job i hated and all my coupled friends to another state because I hated what my life turned into. I left behind amazing friends and a great church family because of it. Not all bad though, there’s mountains to hike and ski now, but I needed to get away. Being confident in myself now means tossing off my embarrassment and shame and see my value for what it actually is, beside a relationship status. I’m gonna fly back and see all my friends again and be okay being the only single person, and live life being happy. That’s what I feel God is doing with my life… God bless
Long....😐 but I'm sure there is a great message😚,care to simplify?😉
God teaching you bravery!!!!!
Thank you so much 🙏
Hi, Sadie and Sam! I personally have struggled with some of these. Though I see it like this ... I'm still in the process. God's refining me. I wish I wouldn't keep going in the damn fire so much. But again ... a process. I'm still fighting some demons. Coming out swinging. But still. I don't think anyone in my life said life was easy. If anyone says that ... they're a liar. But my Momma, Dad, Grandma (maternal), and Grandpa (maternal) raised men. I'm 42 ... and I wish some of this stuff I'd have done years ago. I just wasn't in a mental place to do it. Therapy is a phenomenal tool. I'm speaking from experience. I'm Andrew. I think I've commented on a few of your videos. I'm the one who also mentioned being a virgin. That's a gift I still plan to give the woman I marry when she and I consummate our wedding (after we're married). I don't know ... but I'm fairly certain that part of my process is becoming comfortable in my own presence. Yeah I'm not quite there yet. Funny thing is I moved out of my parents' (they're still married to each other) house on May 31, 2021. I've heard the He hides who He wants us with until both parties are ready. It's also my understanding that dating (or whatever you want to call it) is participatory for both parties. It ain't just God doing the work.
*Lies
1. Your value depends on dating someone.
2. There something wrong with me.
3. God has forgotten about me.
Truth:
1) In terms of social value which is the active value felt it actually does matter if you are single
2) Unfortunately there is something wrong with us but unlike others we happened to be wrong in a manner that makes it unlikely to get a partner
3) If a beggar outside my house prays for years and I don't help him not even once have I forgotten him? I think there is a better verb to describe my behavior
I think the hardest thing to cope with is the pastor banging on about how good it is to be married and that singleness is never mentioned, ever!
There are so many Christian singles in my church, both men and women, women being in the majority. That a fed up with this also and including baby dedications on stage.
You can count on one hand how many teachings there are on the merits of singleness.
Yes lies number 2 and 3 on the list is what I have to contend with daily. Knowing I have to be the provider as the man in the relationship yet I am unable to fulfill that role as the financial provider and that role is what prevents me from dating and getting close to women since the question of “what do you do for work or a living comes up” is always the death question since I have no money, no stable job, no career, lack of marriage possessions, etc at age after turning 28 last week. I just avoid relationships because people just look down upon me for my suffering and lack since I have yer to find a woman who loves me for me and would not resent me for having the job, money and more than me, yet I know God gave me the marriage calling which really causes my heart pain. It’s like “Lord just take away my pain and marriage calling if it can’t be fulfilled. I rather be single than be left in pain despite the craving and longing for a relationship and love in my heart.”
I pray Psalm 55:22 will encourage you to cast all your cares on the LORD for He is our faithful Creator who sustains us and cares for us. Even in your present sufferings, I pray that you'll be encouraged and know that the God in whom you've placed your trust will never let you fall! He is with you even now, He hasn't forgotten about you and may He strengthen you and fill you with His joy and peace as you wait on His salvation.
I pray like David ends that Psalm you'll always say with confidence "But as for me, I trust in You God!" (Psalm 55:23b)
Honestly bro sometimes I pray that God would end my life so I don't have to suffer anymore. Life as a Christian is so hard.
I’m almost 30 and feel disheartened that I’ve never had a good Christian relationship. I’ve been involved with incredible women who are not believers, and the most recent one who I thought was the one. I’ve been struggling to bounce back from this as well as the fact that I did not help them get any closer to developing a relationship with Christ.
Great content! Too much taboo about embracing being single. Personally…..I need to continue healing from the past and how I see “men” in general.
Both of you are way more merciful than any other Catholic married couple or Catholic couple or Catholic woman.
I do believe God has forgotten about me and many other good people in this world.
Great video but if I may add my two cents… its very disappointing when people conflate their intrinsic human value with their attraction value. In my opinion they are very different and to not be confused. I also think us Christians sometimes over spiritualize singleness because we are afraid to say what needs to be said. There are loving ways you can tell a man he’s still single because he’s timid, financially unstable, or simply lacks leadership skills…. Likewise there are loving ways you can tell a woman she needs to hit the gym to increase her odds, or maybe she needs to work on her femininity or any potential childhood traumas. All things are are possible through Christ but faith WITHOUT WORK is dead. Competence breeds confidence, the chances of a man who; knows how to pray, walks a righteous path, and knows how to gather resources 💰…. struggling with singleness and self worth?? Possible ? Sure. Probable? It’s unlikely, because they did the work through Christ. Vice versa for a woman.
I used to feel the same way like what's wrong with me. Why doesn't anyone want to be with me? But then I realize that the people that I wanted were not even that great anyways. So I should be glad that I never ended up marrying them or anything because that would have been awful and the person I should be with forever is going to be the one I want to be with forever and is going to love me no matter what. And I won't have to try to change that person. So much to love me
I think that it is society that tells us that being single means we are less valuable and as believers we must embrace our identity in Christ because at some point in life we will all experience being single. There is blessing in who we are and our value doesn't lie in being in a couple. I have never felt not valued but I did begin to believe some lies because it seemed the men I attracted were not spiritually grounded whether not believers at all or men who thought it was OK to have premarital sex or even men who were already married and behaved as though they were doing you a favour for paying attention to you. As I have grown both in my faith and matured in life I recognise the truth about myself and others.
lucky you Sam, Sadie is beautiful
It’s been difficult finding a Christian woman and it definitely doesn’t help that many of my friends are getting married and have strong Christian relationships. I’ve also been tempted to settle for someone who isn’t of the faith or isn’t open to it, but I’m resisting that urge.
However, I’m trying to view this time as God preparing me to be a man for one of His daughters. Maybe I’m not there yet and God is waiting until I’m ready. Looking back I know I will be grateful for this time of preparation.
Don't rush be patient God does everything in his own time. If you go and settle with someone who isn't the person God has kept for you then there will be a lot of issues in the marriage. Just focus in your relationship with God read the bible get closer to God. Just don't think or focus on marriage, God will surprise you when you least expect it.
@@jennifernangboathat will take too long.
@BansheeKing22 that means you don't have faith in the Lord? God knows best, why would you even say that!! I know someone who kept themselves pure until marriage and got married at 22 another at 28 and are happy they never rushed because they put God first and focused on their relationship with God and never had a bf or slept with anyone. God does everything in his own time!
@@jennifernangboa 22 and 28. LMAO. That proves my point right there. God plays favorites. Im nearly 33 years old, never had a relationship last longer than a week and no girl has ever wanted or loved me. So you can kindly go to hell with that 22 and 28 response.
Christian women are very fussy.
Number 2 is the hardest for me. I always feel like I’m just never the right one for someone. But Lord willing, He will provide a husband for me. But God doesn’t promise us marriage.
34 years alone. I don't plan to see 35. God walked with Adam in the garden, and still saw it wasn't good for him to be alone. Why is it so for me?
Because as much as others want to deny it and you can deny too if you wish. God does have favorites. Lucifer was his favorite, then certain humans, Jesus is his favorite. God may love us all but that doesn't mean he doesn't have favorites. He most certainly does. In near 33 years of life I've learned that. Sometimes things just never work out. All my relationships failed within a week. Ive never been in love and no girl has ever loved or wanted me. Nothing I can do about that. The only thing I can do is just accept that ill never know love or marriage and just move on. God never gave me a reason to hold onto hope or believe in love so I see no reason to do so.
Please don't do anything rash to not see 35.
Life is still worth living anyway.
@@BansheeKing22 Is there anything on your side of things that you could do to help change that? Weight, job, conversational skills. Positive things that are in your power to change over time.
I really wanted for God to exist. But I really don't think He does exist. Sincerely friend I wish you all the best.
@@waupiefipie7638 Not every topic devolves into the "godznotreel" debate. 🙄 Christians, atheists, Hindus and everyone in between is struggling with romance and settling down. That's something that people in the comments can make positive gains on.
Sit on the couch your wife will come knocking on your door that’s how they make it sound.
When my friend Savannah Woodard got married to a guy named Josh Stuelke, I got jealous and upset
One day Diogenes was digging through a pile of bones. Alexander the Great asked him "What are you doing?"
Diogenes replied: I am looking for the bones of your father yet I can not tell the difference between his bones and the bones of a slave.
Regardless if you get married, we all have the same destination: the grave.
Psalm 147:3
Under our apostle Paul’s ministry,to be SAVED,you must BELIEVE/TRUST The Gospel of Jesus Christ,1 st Corinthians Chapter 15 verses 1-4.Jesus Christ died on the cross for all of your sins,was buried,and rose again on the third day.Jesus Christ’s Shed Blood is what saves you when you Believe this plan of salvation with your heart.Romans 3:25” Faith in His Blood”.
How can you find encouragement with singleness and not be a coward? Who are the cowardly mentioned in Revelation 21:8?
I think we all need to be honest and admit that being single is not ideal. It’s sad that fewer people nowadays have families of their own.
It’s sad that people seem to want to accept that they and others aren’t fit to be in a relationship so we’ll all just be alone.
We should all admit being in a healthy marriage is far better than being single and we should strive to be someone that can maintain a healthy marriage.
Marriage and dating in Christianity is such a mess. There is no set way to do it and after purity culture it decimated it. Ironically most Christian men and women would have better luck dating non Christians.
To the ladies who need to hear this. It's not God's timing, it's your choices. There were lots of perfectly nice men you rejected, and thoroughly wicked men you accepted.
When ladies say that "dating is like a desert 🏝️" they mean that they can't find the type of man they want, there are loads of men who have accepted these women.
When men say "dating is like a desert 🏝️" they mean to say that they've never been hugged and they're invisible to all women.
Don't enlist "God's timing" as an accomplice to the modern destruction of men. Stop waiting, stop aruging and start loving on the man who loves you.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Pursue unattractive Christian women. Believe me; you'll attract one. Or is that not something you're willing to do?
Ive given up on ever getting a wife. At nearly 33 years of age its far too late. If it was going to happen it would have happened a long time ago. No girl wants me, ill never be good enough for any girl and since im not a virgin it makes me even less desirable. I stopped asking god for a wife because it was pointless asking for something that I'll never be good enough for. Best if I just suppress my desire and move on. I have no other choice.
If you say you'll never be good enough for a wife, that means you are not prepared to be husband. First, you need to work on yourself and become what you want to attract. God won't give you what you desire until you are ready to receive it.
@@cindyalfaro7409 That'll take too long. So I've accepted my fate and moved on.
the world is sick.
Im struggling to find a Future Girlfriend & Wife. Sam- Said something with Me? I have Faith & Believe & Trust In Lord. I need to have patience.
Been praying everyday for Gods favor to lead me to my husband too. Have been celibate for 6 years now just turned 30 years. When you live in holiness the holy spirit intercede for you and you become less anxious.
@@marthanarh3580 God is Good. God is Miracle worker. He work in different ways.
You need to read Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, Declares the Lord, plans for welfare & not for Evil, to give you a Future & a hope. Than you will call upon me & come & pray to me, & I will hear you..
Patience is just an excuse people use when they have no intention of giving it to you.
Notice how quickly people do things when it is important to them. They can't wait to do it.
So if you are made to wait, it means that the other party (and this includes God) don't care about it or see it as important as you do, otherwise they would rush to provide it.
God cares more about us having patience than blessing us.
Jesus is Lord🇹🇹🇮🇱🇺🇸it just kind of boring waiting....
Follow Jesus not Paul! The truth is in the teachings of Jesus . Deuteronomy 13 . Ask ,seek and knock is a command . Do it !
The biggest lie is the call to singleness you're promoting. Paul was simply being overzealous,not saying God was forcing anyone to be alone. You don't create a doctrine out of one siingle verse. I get tired of happy couples sayiing how great it is to be alone and alienated, Are either of you qualified to teach God's word?
I think it can be misleading to say in the lines of “ we don’t have to work or try to maneuver everything.” As if we are just handed a spouse. I think some of us lack the social skills or lack the amount of Christian’s that are available in church. Like if theirs not enough single Christians in church then most likely it will be harder to find. Therefore you must have to go out and position yourself in a setting that has more single Christians. That takes work.
That's a wrong way of seeing it, you can't leave the church you attend because there is not enough single women there you're not there for single women but to listen to God's word!!! Isaac didn't go where there was single women to find a wife no God brought him the right one He had kept for him. God's timing is best just don't focus on marriage or you'll just stress yourself out. Focus on your relationship with God get closer to Him read the bible. God will surprise you when you least expect it.
Maybe it isn't God taking His time.
Maybe it just isn't His will for you.
If anyone wants to give you something, they usually can't wait and won't drag their feet.
The longer it takes, the less likely it will happen, because it is no big deal to God.
666 likes on a Christian video on a Christian channel directed at Christian singles - you really couldn’t make it up !!
Does anyone find it weird how he looks at her lips everytime.
Their married so and maybe he he likes her lips or he might not be looking at her lips lol🤷♂️
He's probably thinking about kissing them.
Possibly a lip reader also. Not that he strikes me as deaf or hard of hearing, but I do that because I struggle to hear.
Ironically, I am still rubbish at lip reading without the sound, so if anything it's to show I am listening.