I work in a public school (secular, multicultural) and there are a few rules that stood out to me as making a lot of sense. Like, no balloons. Those are big pains in the behind when kids bring those in, because they are a huge distraction. They can also foster jealousy. I can also understand not allowing digital cameras, as kids get very distracted taking pictures and making videos with their friends. I've also seen videos made just to bully kids. I wish my school district could ban smart phones because they are just a major source of problems. What I find interesting about so many of the clothing/modesty rules is how out of place they are in the cultural context of the eras that the Bible was written and the Talmud was redacted. Women didn't wear panty hose or really any sort of stockings in that era, and shoes were often opened toed, if people wore them at all. Dyed fabric, especially dark colors, was very expensive, so most people would have been wearing light colored items all the time.
Really interesting points! I made a few comments in a video about Grimm's Fairy Tales which was specifically about the rhyme Ba Ba Black Sheep. Someone started in about black wool and the fact of its scarcity. Won't reiterate except I said white wool would take dye thus making it the preferred choice. I suggested the peasants didn't have bright colors if any at all. Real interesting video within its historical context if further interested.
As a non -Jew, I found the clothing rules very interesting because most of them made good sense to me. The focus appears to be very similar to my private school in England for girls only, which emphasised that personal expression through clothing was inappropriate in an educational environment whose main focus was on intellectual development (most of us went on to be doctors, lawyers, or other such professions.) Modesty, functionality, and uniformity were the key issues of our clothing rules, and in retrospect I can see that there was a tremendous freedom, particularly as teenage girls, in not having to worry what we looked like. The difference was that at home, we could wear what we liked but our school philosophy did instill in us on a daily basis that who really WERE was significantly more important than how we appeared to be.
The rule about not wearing skirts too long reminded me of my nana's stories about growing up in a traditional Catholic home. She attended Catholic grade school from 1st-8th grade. Her mother never allowed her to wear floor length skirts or dresses because she thought they were too alluring, and "too much" or "too excessive."
Fascinating. I spent grades 1 through 8 in a very small private school (where my grandmother was a teacher, or we wouldn't have been able to afford it), and the dress code was so strict that at the time I wished we wore uniforms instead. The rules about skirt fit, necklines (all of our shirts had to have collars), trendy clothes, and "denim look" fabrics are taking me back to the 80s! Can't wait for part 2 if you're up for it after you feel better.
thank you for taking time to go over these rules, it is all very interesting and I can imagine it takes a lot of work for the school to address the small challenges to the dress code that show up periodically, such as tights with a pattern woven into them. I have great empathy for the girls and women having to wear warm tights all year long, I suppose they become used to it, but still it would be so warm/hot at times. The shade of brown that is allowed for shoes also struck me as very interesting. It seems there is a strong desire for a certain look that all the girls will have and the only real flexibility is with their hair. Not allowing children to have parties outside of school unless the school gives permission seems another way to maintain control over community members and I wonder if it is motivated out of a desire to promote harmony, or equity, as not all families will be able to afford a birthday party for their children. Also, there are hurt feelings when some children are invited and others are not.
I think a lot of the rules are set based on parents complaints, a kid comes home with a story if one kid doing something that every kid now needs to copy, it is a way to keep standards lower. Let's say I want to do a birthday pasty , I would invite my family and mabe neighbors to avoid problems with other parents from school
I found this extremely fascinating and at times somewhat contradictory. I truly appreciate all the time and energy and work you put into this presentation. I am learning so much.. I have recommended you. Are Videos too many of my friends and I hope they are watching them.. Specially, who is extremely touched by your videos with the people in Israel. Shalom.!
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn I just noticed all the spelling errors and I apologize for them. I was dictating on the iPad and didn’t double check. I hope your friends in Israel are safe and I pray the March in DC today is peaceful.
Thank you for this. I follow 2 U.S. and 1 Canadian orthodox Mom videos and I have learned so much about Jewish life and religion. Pearl is such a gem and I appreciate her opinions along with yours. Prayers for all who are victims of world atrocities.
@@heatherireland2810 I follow Jar of Fireflies and love her uploads; she's so wonderful, I am in awe. Pearl is also amazing and I hope she'll honor me with another segment soon.
This was fascinating! When I went to school in England (secular, grammar school for girls only) the dress, hair and jewellery rules were almost identical - this was back in the ‘70’s, though
My two daughters are going to Beis Yaanki school in London, and the rules are still the same, but as Fieda mentioned Beis Yaanki is an frum school for us chareidi so maybe in secular school for non Jewish girls the rules has changed...
I love the academic and thorough dissection of this manual. Your approach makes the experience very interesting! I also really appreciate you have this very factual and non-opinionated manner of presenting information. I love reading my children's manuals for their Cheder, as a BT, it's always fun. Hope you feel better!! Stay warm.
The ‘flowery’ language is similar to Catholic girls high school. There will be a balance in the introduce between morality, character, Catholic perspective and additional words like leader and achievement and the future academics cause all are expected to do college or something after graduation. It is expected of any school that requires tuition.
I went to an all girls Catholic boarding school for high school. Our manual was very similar except that we had various uniforms that had to be worn on campus and on visits into town if you were boarding on weekends and vacations. The uniforms solved a lot of problems! As kids, lots hated it, but having become a teacher, I totally understand and support it.
It's fun hearing you try to understand the measurement specifics re: extra room at the hip etc. pattern drafting is sooo much wild maths especially when being described in words, designers, alterers etc are super impressive
Thank you, Frieda. Thank you for the time that you take to make these videos. It is not as easy as some may think. I enjoy all of your videos. I especially like the videos that you have done with people in the community. Your videos with Pearl were amazing, as were the ones with the diamond cutter. If I may make some suggestions on videos to make in the future, if you are permitted and have the time... Take us to a Sofer, a Mikva, into a home for how they prepare for shabbas or the holidays, how to make the kitchen kosher for passover,... There are so many videos that your audience would be grateful to enjoy. Thank you again, and be well. I wish only good things to you and your family!
Thank you for this! I love the attitude toward children. I am a college teacher, and there is much here that I can internalize in terms of love for my students and hope for them to move upward and have a fulfilling year. Thank you! Love your channel!
Very interesting! Would love to see more of this rule book. It is mindblowing, at least to me, that these rules extend beyond school and school activities. I am curious, is there only one girl's school within a community? If a family has problems within one school, are there other schools to attend or are they all connected, so your "reputation" would follow you?
It’s very hard to switch, since most schools only except kids within their own sect. If someone does succeed in getting their child enrolled, they have no clout with the administration and that puts them at a disadvantage if/when any problem occurs.
I want to add that (at least in Williamsburg) there are independent schools but they struggle financially and with student retention. Several have had to close down in the last decade, which is a real shame, as they tend to be more progressive and have better educational models.
Abby Stein writes a lot about acting out in school and subsequently being shuffled between schools in her memoirs. It involved a lot of sweet talking and clout leveraging from her parents to get her into a new school.
I wonder if they issue anything nearly as fancy. Girls schools tend to have a lot more frilly programs, nice books, guides, performances. I wonder what the boys have. I hope if someone has something they'll send it to me and then I can share it :)
They used to have only rules on eyeglasses but as people are starting to dress their boys more trendy they’re coming out with more rules. It’s still only one page long though.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn i think the language will be milder but then again men are expected to go to synagogue daily study lots of talmud etc and theyll be expected to wear white shirt black trousers etc
In monsey, they just made a whole issue about boys clothing and are trying to institute new rules about it. Meanwhile nothing has been enforced and no details really provided
Shalom Frieda! Thank you 🙏🏾 for sharing another aspect of your experience! This video is very informative and interesting. I’m from the Conservative denomination and I really appreciate learning about the various practices of the Jewish experience. I do read and use Orthodox texts in my own devotions and learning. When I was in Israel 🇮🇱, my bags were delayed, so I needed something to wear for the time being. I was staying at the Jerusalem Gate Hotel which had an Orthodox mall in the basement. I remember having to find clothes and it was an interesting experience to say the least. The saleswoman was very helpful though. Understanding the rules and laws, especially about modesty and piety, has been particularly interesting to me.
Thank you! This was soooo interesting. The all-girl high school I went to didn't have strict rules back then but later changed that to uniforms. I used to see them walking on the street or the bus. While some girls wore pants, others wore the school skirt but rolled the waist a few times to make it shorter. 🙄 Need I say it wasn't modest?! It must be easier to implement within a smaller or more religious community. Always love your videos.❤ (p.s.: I wear a scarf inside from November to March. Hope you are well soon.)
I went to a secular girls private school and we had one piece dresses and still the girls managed to hike up their skirts-of course during breaks and lunch and not during class
@@claireutrecht2958My Catholic girls high school had a one- piece jumper-style dress over a white shirt as a uniform, so rolling it up to make it shorter would have been tricky! But in the late 70s when I went to high school, miniskirts weren’t “in” at all, in fact were extremely “out” and long, flowing skirts all the rage, so no one wanted their skirts short anyway. It must have been a relief for our nun teachers, who told us that just a few years before they’d had to constantly battle with girls who were hemming their uniform dresses so high they barely concealed their underwear.😂
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. I like these kinds of videos cuz I learn little things about your community that aren't otherwise widely known. And, we're getting it directly from the source (this rule book)!
This was an amazing video thank you so much for doing this 💖 Growing up in the UK we all wear uniforms to school (public, private, religious), however some are more lackadaisical about their students abidance by them than others - in general however I am shocked how many rules were similar in this Hassidic school rules in comparison to my school. For example skirts having to be a certain length, certain length of hair, not allowing phones/music devices etc. I often talk to my Jewish side of the family in NYC about how I think maybe to Americans the Hassidic way of school life seems extreme in comparison to their non-uniform and more open education whereas to me as a British Jew I can see a lot of similarities (of course differences too) as schools here are a lot stricter from my experience to public school in America
I find this so surprising because I thought this kind of school rule was very unique, and it's interesting to hear about hair rules and other school dress rules.
Definitely agree - my Church of England private school in London had very similar (entirely unenforced) rules about hair, black accessories and shoes only, black 40+ denier tights, uniform navy blue box pleat skirts which were below the knee, et c. What isn't familiar is rules about you can do outside of school.
@@eleanorbrown342 What a small world I grew up in London too but went to a grammar school, I remember vividly one day all the girls were called into the assembly hall and were told not to sit down but get on our knees we were then instructed by one of the senior management of the school to check our skirts touched the ground if not we would need to go home and change!! It was also implied that we were tempting boys going up the stairs who couldn't resit looking up our skirts and it was our fault our skirts weren't long enough. We weren't allowed to dye our hair 'unnatural colours', have more than a single piercing in each lobe, no makeup of any kind, always to wear tights and never to take our tie or blazer off unless temperatures reached over 36 celsius (I still can't work out why they chose such a specific number lol) I remember there was a little bit of rules about what we could do outside of school i.e if you're in uniform you need to make sure you're not dishonouring the school but as a general rule home life was luckily left as home life
The introduction verse talking about why the verse talks first about the daughters of Israel instead of the sons. That reminds me of what the very wise Pearl says. When you asked her if she misses not having had more in her life and how the seemingly second class women seem to be. And Pearl said that women are the most important family members because next to the temple, the home is the most sacred of all and that’s her domain. Thanks Frieda!
Thank you Anne! To your question about having fun… I think Satmar girls have a lot of fun… it’s just in a very different style… A lot of old school fun!
"Reif" exists in German and Luxembourgish. It can refer to a car tire but also to that metal circle around a wooden barrel. So you get that idea of something circular.
Thank you for sharing another and important area of Satmar. It challenges our understanding in a very good way. You are very appreciated. I read a comment that was unkind and I urge you not to let it upset you. Stay strong. Please feel better soon!
Fascinating video -- thank you so much! Does the rulebook describe a disciplinary process? For example, is there a warning given after one infraction, can expulsion happen after a certain number of infractions?
Good question! They don't, they just say that they might send the girls home. But I think in many cases they will give the girl a chance to fix/change what they wear and they'll only send home after several infractions.
This presentation is superior in its content and quality. It gives, if not trumpets, the excellent quality of Freida’s education and her obvious achievements.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn wasn’t that good as I has a bad cold (it still lingers) and rain every day but did lots for Instagram and some writing so it worked. Home to more work so hectic for the next 4 weeks…then relax till January…I hope. Hugs as ever x
Frieda, this is fascinating! Thank you for such interesting, intelligent transmission of cultural norms that interested outsiders would never have access to!
Thank you for this in depth video! Reif is probably German, where the word Haarreif is used and derives from Reifen (wheel), the name came from the almost round shape and firmness
Freda, thank you so much for the wonderful education I am getting via your videos. I am not Jewish, but love learning about other cultures. Regarding your cold home--if you boil some water or perhaps use a humidifier, the increased humidity can calm down the cold to make it more comfortable. Wishing you the very best of everything.
I’m a Catholic man who grew up in Brooklyn in close proximity to the Satmars. I think Frieda’s fans span the entire spectrum of interested people. There are plenty of videos on TH-cam by people who have left Hasidic communities who only bash their upbringing. Frieda doesn’t do that. She’s respectful and treats this often not understood group as a sociologist would. That’s at least one person who watches.
My original target audience are people who are interested in sociology. In how cultures dress, pray, believe, navigate the world, etc. I think there are a lot of people who, like me, think that it's a shame to rush to sit in judgement instead of trying to understand without judgement. But my actual audience is more complicated because a. some people come here for Pearl, because they love her. and b. Hasidim watch my stuff because they like to keep me honest 😂
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynI started coming here before Pearl, but was HOOKED after watching your first video with her. She’s just so lovely, lively, spunky, and smart. Love you both! Wanted to add, I’m an atheist who’s parents are lapsed Catholics . In spite of that, I’m very interested in religion in general, and religious practices. Who doesn’t like to know what makes other people tick?
I would love to see a discussion between you and someone raised in a very strict Baptist school, the similarities and differences there. It sounds similar to the rules I hear about at those schools, especially the extremely specific dress code and reactions to modern innovations.
Hi Frieda. Glad to see you looking so well in the face of all that is happening ATM. Yes, I did really enjoy this video. I like learning about the various types of education all over the world. Also, I just enjoy your sweet soothing voice. You have a very calming presence. I’m up for more of this type of content for sure! Stay safe ❤️
Education for girls was controversial in the 1920s and especially for Satmar Hasidim. The Agudah accepted Jewish education for girls because the rabbis saw Jewish girls were not continuing to be Jewish, were assimilating - and because they met the founder of Jewish education for girls, Sarah Schnirer, a Polish woman who was the first to teach Jewish girls. The rabbis saw her religious motivation and her sincerity. And Jewish education for girls was begun.
Just started watching and the first thing I saw was the use of ‘grade 1’ vs 1st grade. I’m Canadian and that’s how we say our numbered grades for school. I’m curious if it’s a purposeful difference or just chance? PS - I do enjoy this type of content. Do more please!!
Thank you for this video. I would like a video on the behavior aspects. I'm a high school teacher in a public setting and we deal with a lot of harassment and bullying between students. How does the school regulate interpersonal behavior amongst the students?
Wow very interesting question. Definitely something the school works on a lot; I just have to figure out what I can find to illustrate it. From behavior with adults to behavior among friends, interpersonal matters are a huge deal.
Many factors make these schools very, very different than public schools. From the fact that they’re gender segregated, to the fact that most kids are from similar backgrounds, to the fact that they’re so sheltered from violence. Most problems that plague public high schools are unheard of in chassidic schools.
The majority of problems in normal schools come from the fact that Kids are mixed. I used ti separated my Kids and it solved a lot of problems, even though The Boys were way more complicated tô deal with
Growing up, I remember the religious girls having the most enormous heavy backpacks I've ever seen. They must have had at least a dozen giant textbooks in there. And in addition to the giant backpack they would also have multiple giant binders in their arms. It looked arduous.
It was so interesting to hear that the children are blessings. THAT was not what I experienced nor did I find that when my children were in school. I can see why you would want to break the rules. It is interesting that when the rules are strict, the rule breakers are angels compared with children rebellious with no restrictions. I was wondering what was your process to learn a different way or your way after you left the community, as far as dress, hair, color, shoes. When I first wore pants after growing up with only dresses. It was so strange. Now decades later I seem to want to wear dresses.
This was interesting, Frieda. I’d be interested in another video on this when you are so inclined. I was surprised at the limits on parties outside of school. Does this extend to extended family birthday parties (if that is something families do) or just parties with friends?
There IS a danger regarding use of cameras and videos. These days, anyone can put just about anything on the internet, at which point who knows who could get hold of it for unwholesome purposes. Even many public schools have forms available for parents to prohibit the school from putting their child’s picture online. I don’t allow my photo or those of my children to be online and we don’t use Facebook.
Wonderful video! Did i miss the white shirt on rosh chodesh etc? I'd love to hear you go over all of it and in comparison to what the rules were when you went there.
It's not in the rulebook! I don't think they put stuff like that in the rulebook (and anyway, only the boys wear white on Rosh Chodesh maybe? Maybe not?)
So interesting, Frieda. I'd love it if you'd do a video about the intricacies of head coverings for frum women, i.e., tichel vs. sheitel vs. turban, etc. I'm fascinated by all the ins & outs of that subject and really enjoyed the piece about it on your blog.
There's definitely a part of that. But ironically, the more conservative kids might end up jealous of the kids whose parents are more liberal, let's say if the parents allow ribbed tights after school, white tights on a weekday, etc.
This was so interesting. Thank you so much for doing this! I had no idea that Satmar children are not allowed to have birthday parties at home. Also, there is so much effort put into girls not attracting any attention to themselves. Would it be alright to say to a little girl (in the Satmar culture) something like : “You look so pretty!” Or “You look so cute!”? Would this be calling attention to them in a bad way? Thank you again!
Reidel also comes from a german word for wheel - Rad :) Rad and Reifen can be used interchangebly. Tho Reifen is more common to refer to circular objects that are not wheels. A Bangle is an "Arm-reifen" or Armreif :) @@FriedaVizelBrooklyn
Hi Freida, always love your work. I use the term "Court" & not "Sect". I will assume that your average Viewer (no disrespect intended) would not know that each of the Chassidic Groups refer to their Leadership or Group as a Court ? Keep these great videos coming Freida
Amazing video. I would be interested to see a boys one. I’ve heard that they have prohibitions on following sports and in some times playing certain sports in religious Jewish schools in the UK, would be interested to see how it is in your community.
This is so interesting. I'm a Jewish woman who wasn't raised in an ultra orthodox or Hassidic community, so I'm learning all the intricate rules from this community.
Very interesting. I'm a teacher at a charter middle school out west. We have a dress code at school and the kids of course always push the limits. Kids are the same everywhere, I think. I love your stories on education. I'm interested in how students with learning disabilities are dealt with in the education systems of orthodox Jews. Is there a special education program? Do students have IEPs? How widespread is rule breaking and rebellion against the strict rules and how is that dealt with? Love your videos. ❤❤
Frieda, Very interesting! I am really interested what actually the Satmar community itself thinks of your channel---do you ever get feedback from anyone of this community? Do you get positive feedback from them (because you are never disparaging of them, for example), or are there critics too (because, say, you have left the community, or you are informing the world out there about their very traditional and closed community)?
To my surprise, people have been SO NICE (although I'm constantly holding my breath and waiting for trouble to start.) But people are very clear that they can't be associated with me publicly. Not businesses, nor people. There are a few exceptions, but most people are not looking to tempt fate by being openly associated with an ex-hasidic troublemaker like me. So it's an interesting place I'm in.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynis there a video telling about your relationship with your family now? Why Pearl has chosen to be on the video and associates with you? Can you talk about "attracting" clothes? It seems like girls would be blamed for boys behavior. Isn't everyone in charge of their own behavior? Thank you! I really enjoy your channel.
@@sandyk13599 At some point Pearl said she likes to help people. I think she has an enormously soft spot for OTD/ex hasidic people because of her son, and also, maybe she hopes to influence me. The attracting clothing bit definitely leads to an attitude of blaming women for men's behavior.
I feel guilty agreeing because since I've had a youtube channel I've often been the one with the camera, but I actually love not always having a phone camera shoved in my face.
I attended Catholic schools and we wore uniforms. Firstly, its cheaper and everyone bought from the same company. No competition meant everyone focused more on learning. I think all schools could benefit from the wearing of uniforms.
School uniforms are a good idea in principle, so long as they are sensible and not used for corruption and/or for gate-keeping. In the UK there have been cases where school uniforms _had_ to be bought from one specific, expensive supplier: equivalent cheaper uniforms were not accepted even if they looked identical. In one case a girl was punished with isolation because through systematic inspection of the inside labels it was discovered that her mother had bought an otherwise identical cheaper substitute. This only makes sense if a) someone got a kick-back from the supplier, or b) the purpose is to keep children of low-income parents out. A traditional problem with British school uniforms is moreover, that they prescribe short skirts and insufficient stockings regardless of the season, leading to totally unnecessary infections in winter.
this is so interesting. It seems so organized and in depth. I wish in public school we had things listed out for us with both our scheduals and rules, and supplies.
It varies and the type of family you come from will determine the extent to which your boundary pushing may be overlooked. If you come from a well established family who has money and/or status they might scrutinise the books or hair style with less fear than if you were a child of a less established family (or with a sibling who has left the community). On the other hand you will have some families, who regardless of their status will self-police to even greater levels of restraint.
@@catclelland2447 a little bit. Girls would give each other cards, buy each other balloons, little presents. I think it's celebrated much more now based on how much birthday stuff I see in the candyshops (and I see girls buying them).
Please share the rest of the rules. I went to a private Christian school there are so many similarities. We had to sign a “contract” saying we wouldn’t go to movies and we would dress appropriately even when we were not at school.
Reyf (?) must have entered Yiddish from German. In German we call it a Haarreif to disambiguate, because the word Reif on its own has several meanings. So we add the prefix Haar- to make clear that we mean the hair accessory
Haar"Reif" is to this day commenly used word in swissgerman for a hard headband that is shaped like a U and usulay made out of a hard material. The word "Reif" in it self is a very very old german word an means: Rope in German: „Seil, Strick, Streifen, Band, Fessel, Ring, Gebinde, Faß“, althochdeutsch reif „Seil, Strick“ (8. Jahrhundert), „Ring, Kreis“ (um 800), germanisch *raipa
Very interesting! I really enjoyed this video. Can’t wait for Part 2. So many rules that seem silly. Might as well have uniforms. Just the part about birthday parties and the rules at school apply at home also. Seems controlling also. Hope you are feeling better Frieda! 😊
This was really interesting. Some of it I was already aware of, but it's interesting to see how rules have shifted over time, even if you look at that documentary PBS did on Chasidic communities back in the '90s and now. Also entertaining to see how much of the Yiddish on the page I actually understood between my (crummy) Yiddish and (slightly less crummy) German. I would be really interested in a part two- also in seeing what kind of rulebooks boys' schools put out, because I assume they differ in some ways.
Hello Frieda and thanks for all your very interesting videos. I am a Scandinavian woman who comes from a very liberal & secular family, so this is all very interesting to me. For some reason I've developed an interest in orthodox judaism and watched a ton of videos about it from different angles. I've even learned some scarf tying tips from jewish women in youtube and I'm going to use them this summer, because I think the scarves/ turbans/ tichels, whatever you call them, are beautiful 😊. Anyway, having gone to school in a very liberal environment, I find these rules quite shocking. I've always loved style, clothes and especially colours, I can't imagine not being allowed to wear almost any colours. I think I would get depressed if I had to stop wearing colours. We don't have school uniforms in my country, so that's foreign to me, but in my time (in the 90's) everyone, boys and girls, were wearing jeans & sweaters to school, so we were actually quite modest in our own way 😊. The dressing code sounds to me like everything that could look beautiful or cheerful is forbidden. I'm not opposed to modesty per se, I see a lot of good in it too, but this is taking it very, very far. I don't mean to be direspectful and I think there are many beautiful parts in (orthodox) judaism, so much tradition and the sense community for example, I truly miss a community in my life. But this is my impression coming from a very different backround.
You are not disrespectful at all! Many in the community would understand the comment! However... something that people on the outside might not appreciate, but what you experience when you live in the community, that you find tiny ways to express your fashion sense and they become very big and important to you. So a lighter shade of tan, or a little bit of hot pink in a shoe, a designer scarf, all of this can feel extremely personal and expressive of the self. One of my favorite subjects is the tremendous diversity that is expressed through the different clothing. It's more than meets the eye! Then again, it's still suffocating to some. It was to me, although not because of the clothing. I think it's totally fair to say some people find it unbearable and must leave. Many however thrive. And that's something we can appreciate... No society is perfect or works for everyone.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn thank you for your answer! That's very interesting, expressing your fashion sense & individuality in small details. I can understand that people can also thrive in that community, I really admire the close knit community and helping each other in different circumstaces, that is something very valuable. A sence of safety probably. And a strong trust in a higher power. A strong identity. Must be many good things I don't even know about. Our secular society is also so, so flawed in many ways. Have a great day and thanks again for your amazing work! 💛
@@herecomesthesun21 Yes, I feel the same way. Our society is flawed, so if we come from a place of appreciating that no one is perfect, we don't end up looking at others in black or white terms.
I really enjoyed the video and your insight. I have no religion now but I did attend Catholic schools with old fashioned nuns. We had uniforms and to check length the nun would make you kneel and if the skirt didn’t touch the floor she’d rip the hem down and you had to walk like that all day. It seems the school is more concerned with trendy fashion as opposed to modesty. Making up stuff as you go isn’t conducive to learning anything. But, it’s their rules!
Imagine the burden of a mother with so many children having to conform each kid as they grow to the specific dressing rules, and the length of skirts. It seems like so much work. It’s making me tired just to think about it.
Nah, I think it's easy enough. The stores sell to the rules. The issue for me was always I found all the rules suffocating. Some parents always bend the rules but mine didn't and it made it very hard. :(
Pantyhose alone with drive me crazy I never could even wear them in the 70s. I just have sensitive skin and then it’s like heck. What would a girl do in that situation?
I wonder if they would be alright with thigh high socks instead or even leggings for sensory issues. I also can’t stand the feeling of pantyhose on my skin.
@@kimolivares8532 Probably not. In more modern schools girls wear knee-highs which is why Satmar is so adamant to 'not be like them' kind of thing and only allow tights (pantyhose).
Growing up with these rules, it's second nature. Also, most people bend some rules out of school (black tights on shabbos, socks until 5/6 instead of 3. Red, leather, denim, hoods etc...)
So interesting! Please continue these videos. I know you need visuals, but all that effort you made to scan the book was slightly wasted on me since I speak no Yiddish. I am a graphic designer, so the first bits were interesting graphically, but once you got into the modest dress section, the layout became boring. Luckily, the topic became fascinating. The rules do seem excessively strict and I bet many a student feels the goal is actually to squash any possibility of fun or individual expression. But your comments and explanations are so helpful, and I can believe that the school puts a lot of thought into these rules and sees it as their responsibility to stress the importance of tradition and following religious teachings and to shield young impressionable minds from the dangers of the modern world with its bright red clothing and exposed knees.
I suspect "reif" is probably related to German "Haarreif", which is a horseshoe-shaped hair accessory made of a hard material (metal, plastic) sometimes covered in fabric, used to keep long hair out of the face. I think in English it's called a headband (as opposed to a hairband or "Haarband", which is a soft loop of fabric). It appears to be etymologically related to "rope" and is close to the modern word "Reifen" (car tires).
See here for Part 2 with lots more rules. Rules of phones, weddings, music, college, etc.
th-cam.com/video/Ru0t2JchFV0/w-d-xo.html
On my way!
Cannot say enough Frida how much your videos mean to us.
@@debrapaulino918 I am sooooo happy to hear!
Yes please do more content like this. It's so interesting to me as a Jewish woman raised in a Conservative congregation.
Yes, please. Absolutely fascinating. Thank you
I work in a public school (secular, multicultural) and there are a few rules that stood out to me as making a lot of sense. Like, no balloons. Those are big pains in the behind when kids bring those in, because they are a huge distraction. They can also foster jealousy. I can also understand not allowing digital cameras, as kids get very distracted taking pictures and making videos with their friends. I've also seen videos made just to bully kids. I wish my school district could ban smart phones because they are just a major source of problems.
What I find interesting about so many of the clothing/modesty rules is how out of place they are in the cultural context of the eras that the Bible was written and the Talmud was redacted. Women didn't wear panty hose or really any sort of stockings in that era, and shoes were often opened toed, if people wore them at all. Dyed fabric, especially dark colors, was very expensive, so most people would have been wearing light colored items all the time.
Really interesting points! I made a few comments in a video about Grimm's Fairy Tales which was specifically about the rhyme Ba Ba Black Sheep. Someone started in about black wool and the fact of its scarcity. Won't reiterate except I said white wool would take dye thus making it the preferred choice. I suggested the peasants didn't have bright colors if any at all. Real interesting video within its historical context if further interested.
I find these more in depth videos extremely interesting. Your explanations and insights are enlightening also.
As a non -Jew, I found the clothing rules very interesting because most of them made good sense to me. The focus appears to be very similar to my private school in England for girls only, which emphasised that personal expression through clothing was inappropriate in an educational environment whose main focus was on intellectual development (most of us went on to be doctors, lawyers, or other such professions.) Modesty, functionality, and uniformity were the key issues of our clothing rules, and in retrospect I can see that there was a tremendous freedom, particularly as teenage girls, in not having to worry what we looked like. The difference was that at home, we could wear what we liked but our school philosophy did instill in us on a daily basis that who really WERE was significantly more important than how we appeared to be.
It would easier to just assign a school uniform, the intricate rules seem impossible not to break.
Not to mention open to interpretation so what is forbidden by one will be permissible by another.
For some reason the Satmar Rebbe was against uniforms. The other girls' schools in Williamsburg (Viznitz, Vein, Pupa) do have uniforms.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn the reason is, for girls to learn how to be modest while you're still in school.
Also, once you get used to the rules their easy to follow. There are so many beautiful clothing to chose from in the local stores
Yeah, you're right actually. I never found it confusing, just restrictive.
The rule about not wearing skirts too long reminded me of my nana's stories about growing up in a traditional Catholic home. She attended Catholic grade school from 1st-8th grade. Her mother never allowed her to wear floor length skirts or dresses because she thought they were too alluring, and "too much" or "too excessive."
Fascinating. I spent grades 1 through 8 in a very small private school (where my grandmother was a teacher, or we wouldn't have been able to afford it), and the dress code was so strict that at the time I wished we wore uniforms instead. The rules about skirt fit, necklines (all of our shirts had to have collars), trendy clothes, and "denim look" fabrics are taking me back to the 80s! Can't wait for part 2 if you're up for it after you feel better.
I am not Jewish but find this content really fascinating. My husband and I took your tour pre-pandemic and loved it. So glad you have this channel!
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thank you for taking time to go over these rules, it is all very interesting and I can imagine it takes a lot of work for the school to address the small challenges to the dress code that show up periodically, such as tights with a pattern woven into them. I have great empathy for the girls and women having to wear warm tights all year long, I suppose they become used to it, but still it would be so warm/hot at times. The shade of brown that is allowed for shoes also struck me as very interesting. It seems there is a strong desire for a certain look that all the girls will have and the only real flexibility is with their hair. Not allowing children to have parties outside of school unless the school gives permission seems another way to maintain control over community members and I wonder if it is motivated out of a desire to promote harmony, or equity, as not all families will be able to afford a birthday party for their children. Also, there are hurt feelings when some children are invited and others are not.
I think a lot of the rules are set based on parents complaints, a kid comes home with a story if one kid doing something that every kid now needs to copy, it is a way to keep standards lower. Let's say I want to do a birthday pasty , I would invite my family and mabe neighbors to avoid problems with other parents from school
I just love all of your videos! They are so educational and done with such professionalism, humanity and respect. Please keep making more of them!
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Discouraging girls at all from singing and dancing and studying the arts makes me sad.
The arts can smooth our souls.
I really enjoyed this, especially your commentary on the reality vs the rules.
I found this extremely fascinating and at times somewhat contradictory. I truly appreciate all the time and energy and work you put into this presentation. I am learning so much.. I have recommended you. Are Videos too many of my friends and I hope they are watching them.. Specially, who is extremely touched by your videos with the people in Israel. Shalom.!
Thank you so much. It's been a really rough few weeks so your kind words are much appreciated.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn I just noticed all the spelling errors and I apologize for them. I was dictating on the iPad and didn’t double check. I hope your friends in Israel are safe and I pray the March in DC today is peaceful.
Thank you for this. I follow 2 U.S. and 1 Canadian orthodox Mom videos and I have learned so much about Jewish life and religion. Pearl is such a gem and I appreciate her opinions along with yours. Prayers for all who are victims of world atrocities.
@@heatherireland2810 I follow Jar of Fireflies and love her uploads; she's so wonderful, I am in awe. Pearl is also amazing and I hope she'll honor me with another segment soon.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynsame. Because she and her family are Sephardic - so many differences, compared to Chabad.
This was fascinating! When I went to school in England (secular, grammar school for girls only) the dress, hair and jewellery rules were almost identical - this was back in the ‘70’s, though
My two daughters are going to Beis Yaanki school in London, and the rules are still the same, but as Fieda mentioned Beis Yaanki is an frum school for us chareidi so maybe in secular school for non Jewish girls the rules has changed...
Same here. And I believe that there is an ( unexpected?) correlation between strict dress codes and academic success.
A shaynem Dank , for taking the time to make this, I look forward to seeing part 2 .
I love the academic and thorough dissection of this manual. Your approach makes the experience very interesting! I also really appreciate you have this very factual and non-opinionated manner of presenting information. I love reading my children's manuals for their Cheder, as a BT, it's always fun.
Hope you feel better!! Stay warm.
Freida, I love your videos, thank you.
I'm happy to hear!!
Really interesting video! Loving this longer format content as well.
The ‘flowery’ language is similar to Catholic girls high school. There will be a balance in the introduce between morality, character, Catholic perspective and additional words like leader and achievement and the future academics cause all are expected to do college or something after graduation. It is expected of any school that requires tuition.
Very interesting!
i just wonder are they very much trying sell the idea of modesty and hasidic lifestyle ie dress modestly and things will be great for you etc
I went to an all girls Catholic boarding school for high school. Our manual was very similar except that we had various uniforms that had to be worn on campus and on visits into town if you were boarding on weekends and vacations. The uniforms solved a lot of problems! As kids, lots hated it, but having become a teacher, I totally understand and support it.
@@jameschicken1008Because it teaches them self-respect and self-worth as a woman. Men have different rules.
It's fun hearing you try to understand the measurement specifics re: extra room at the hip etc. pattern drafting is sooo much wild maths especially when being described in words, designers, alterers etc are super impressive
Wow that was incredible interesting. I really hope to see more content like this.
Thank you, Frieda. Thank you for the time that you take to make these videos. It is not as easy as some may think. I enjoy all of your videos. I especially like the videos that you have done with people in the community. Your videos with Pearl were amazing, as were the ones with the diamond cutter. If I may make some suggestions on videos to make in the future, if you are permitted and have the time... Take us to a Sofer, a Mikva, into a home for how they prepare for shabbas or the holidays, how to make the kitchen kosher for passover,... There are so many videos that your audience would be grateful to enjoy. Thank you again, and be well. I wish only good things to you and your family!
Wow such great ideas, I bet it would be hard to convince someone to participate
I throughly enjoy learning about this culture. Thank you Frida. ❤
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I thought it was interesting. Thanks for taking the time to scan it, and I hope you find time to do the rest some day. And I hope you feel better.
Thank you very much, Frieda, for interesting info. Greetings from the Czech Republic from Zuzana Sigmundova
Wonderful -my mother was born in Czech. :)
Thank you for this! I love the attitude toward children. I am a college teacher, and there is much here that I can internalize in terms of love for my students and hope for them to move upward and have a fulfilling year. Thank you! Love your channel!
Very interesting! Would love to see more of this rule book. It is mindblowing, at least to me, that these rules extend beyond school and school activities. I am curious, is there only one girl's school within a community? If a family has problems within one school, are there other schools to attend or are they all connected, so your "reputation" would follow you?
It’s very hard to switch, since most schools only except kids within their own sect. If someone does succeed in getting their child enrolled, they have no clout with the administration and that puts them at a disadvantage if/when any problem occurs.
Like Faigy said, it's really hard to switch.
I want to add that (at least in Williamsburg) there are independent schools but they struggle financially and with student retention. Several have had to close down in the last decade, which is a real shame, as they tend to be more progressive and have better educational models.
Abby Stein writes a lot about acting out in school and subsequently being shuffled between schools in her memoirs. It involved a lot of sweet talking and clout leveraging from her parents to get her into a new school.
Abby is from a high ranking family. Most kids wouldn’t have gotten that many chances.
It would be very interesting to look at the rules for boys in Hasidic schools
I wonder if they issue anything nearly as fancy. Girls schools tend to have a lot more frilly programs, nice books, guides, performances. I wonder what the boys have. I hope if someone has something they'll send it to me and then I can share it :)
They used to have only rules on eyeglasses but as people are starting to dress their boys more trendy they’re coming out with more rules. It’s still only one page long though.
In general the boys schools are more straightforward and less hung up on things like attendance and test taking
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn i think the language will be milder but then again men are expected to go to synagogue daily study lots of talmud etc and theyll be expected to wear white shirt black trousers etc
In monsey, they just made a whole issue about boys clothing and are trying to institute new rules about it. Meanwhile nothing has been enforced and no details really provided
I really enjoyed this now. I’m gonna go watch part two!
so glad to hear!
Shalom Frieda! Thank you 🙏🏾 for sharing another aspect of your experience! This video is very informative and interesting. I’m from the Conservative denomination and I really appreciate learning about the various practices of the Jewish experience. I do read and use Orthodox texts in my own devotions and learning. When I was in Israel 🇮🇱, my bags were delayed, so I needed something to wear for the time being. I was staying at the Jerusalem Gate Hotel which had an Orthodox mall in the basement. I remember having to find clothes and it was an interesting experience to say the least. The saleswoman was very helpful though. Understanding the rules and laws, especially about modesty and piety, has been particularly interesting to me.
That outfit must have been for the books!
Thank you! This was soooo interesting. The all-girl high school I went to didn't have strict rules back then but later changed that to uniforms. I used to see them walking on the street or the bus. While some girls wore pants, others wore the school skirt but rolled the waist a few times to make it shorter. 🙄 Need I say it wasn't modest?! It must be easier to implement within a smaller or more religious community. Always love your videos.❤ (p.s.: I wear a scarf inside from November to March. Hope you are well soon.)
Any of us from an all-girls religious school are familiar with the skirt-roll-up and its purpose! 😂
I went to a secular girls private school and we had one piece dresses and still the girls managed to hike up their skirts-of course during breaks and lunch and not during class
@@claireutrecht2958My Catholic girls high school had a one- piece jumper-style dress over a white shirt as a uniform, so rolling it up to make it shorter would have been tricky! But in the late 70s when I went to high school, miniskirts weren’t “in” at all, in fact were extremely “out” and long, flowing skirts all the rage, so no one wanted their skirts short anyway. It must have been a relief for our nun teachers, who told us that just a few years before they’d had to constantly battle with girls who were hemming their uniform dresses so high they barely concealed their underwear.😂
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. I like these kinds of videos cuz I learn little things about your community that aren't otherwise widely known. And, we're getting it directly from the source (this rule book)!
Thank you for making this video, i live in Norway so all of this is very foren to me. but i love learning about it :)
You might be interested to know that it's spelled "foreign". Yes, English is weird! Take care
@@beans4853 thank you :)
This was an amazing video thank you so much for doing this 💖 Growing up in the UK we all wear uniforms to school (public, private, religious), however some are more lackadaisical about their students abidance by them than others - in general however I am shocked how many rules were similar in this Hassidic school rules in comparison to my school. For example skirts having to be a certain length, certain length of hair, not allowing phones/music devices etc. I often talk to my Jewish side of the family in NYC about how I think maybe to Americans the Hassidic way of school life seems extreme in comparison to their non-uniform and more open education whereas to me as a British Jew I can see a lot of similarities (of course differences too) as schools here are a lot stricter from my experience to public school in America
I find this so surprising because I thought this kind of school rule was very unique, and it's interesting to hear about hair rules and other school dress rules.
Definitely agree - my Church of England private school in London had very similar (entirely unenforced) rules about hair, black accessories and shoes only, black 40+ denier tights, uniform navy blue box pleat skirts which were below the knee, et c. What isn't familiar is rules about you can do outside of school.
@@eleanorbrown342 What a small world I grew up in London too but went to a grammar school, I remember vividly one day all the girls were called into the assembly hall and were told not to sit down but get on our knees we were then instructed by one of the senior management of the school to check our skirts touched the ground if not we would need to go home and change!! It was also implied that we were tempting boys going up the stairs who couldn't resit looking up our skirts and it was our fault our skirts weren't long enough. We weren't allowed to dye our hair 'unnatural colours', have more than a single piercing in each lobe, no makeup of any kind, always to wear tights and never to take our tie or blazer off unless temperatures reached over 36 celsius (I still can't work out why they chose such a specific number lol) I remember there was a little bit of rules about what we could do outside of school i.e if you're in uniform you need to make sure you're not dishonouring the school but as a general rule home life was luckily left as home life
The introduction verse talking about why the verse talks first about the daughters of Israel instead of the sons. That reminds me of what the very wise Pearl says. When you asked her if she misses not having had more in her life and how the seemingly second class women seem to be. And Pearl said that women are the most important family members because next to the temple, the home is the most sacred of all and that’s her domain. Thanks Frieda!
Thank you Anne! To your question about having fun… I think Satmar girls have a lot of fun… it’s just in a very different style… A lot of old school fun!
"Reif" exists in German and Luxembourgish. It can refer to a car tire but also to that metal circle around a wooden barrel. So you get that idea of something circular.
Well there is Haarreif/Haarreifen, which is a type of hard headband
This was very interesting. Please share more. Many blessings.
Thank you for sharing another and important area of Satmar. It challenges our understanding in a very good way. You are very appreciated. I read a comment that was unkind and I urge you not to let it upset you. Stay strong. Please feel better soon!
Thank you Susan! Sometimes doing this work can feel like walking on eggshells and like I'm upsetting people from all sides :(
Fascinating video -- thank you so much!
Does the rulebook describe a disciplinary process? For example, is there a warning given after one infraction, can expulsion happen after a certain number of infractions?
Good question! They don't, they just say that they might send the girls home. But I think in many cases they will give the girl a chance to fix/change what they wear and they'll only send home after several infractions.
Yeah, most people sending to these schools value the same things and will follow the rules
Thanks!
Thank you so much Laurie!! ❤️
This presentation is superior in its content and quality. It gives, if not trumpets, the excellent quality of Freida’s education and her obvious achievements.
Such incredibly kind words, thank you!!!
Another informative and honest video. Get well soon x
Thank you so much Chrissie. I'm starting to feel a bit better but had a really rough few days. Hope your trip away was nice.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn wasn’t that good as I has a bad cold (it still lingers) and rain every day but did lots for Instagram and some writing so it worked. Home to more work so hectic for the next 4 weeks…then relax till January…I hope. Hugs as ever x
Frieda, this is fascinating! Thank you for such interesting, intelligent transmission of cultural norms that interested outsiders would never have access to!
I love these kinds of videos! Please do more of them.
me too :)
Thank you for this in depth video! Reif is probably German, where the word Haarreif is used and derives from Reifen (wheel), the name came from the almost round shape and firmness
Interesting 👍
Freda, thank you so much for the wonderful education I am getting via your videos. I am not Jewish, but love learning about other cultures. Regarding your cold home--if you boil some water or perhaps use a humidifier, the increased humidity can calm down the cold to make it more comfortable. Wishing you the very best of everything.
Super interesting, thanks so much!❤
I enjoy your videos, I subscribed cause I am hoping you go over 40,000 subs.
Frieda you are most adorable how you present satmar. You are doing it in such a respectful manner.
I'm wondering who is your audience?
I’m a Catholic man who grew up in Brooklyn in close proximity to the Satmars. I think Frieda’s fans span the entire spectrum of interested people. There are plenty of videos on TH-cam by people who have left Hasidic communities who only bash their upbringing. Frieda doesn’t do that. She’s respectful and treats this often not understood group as a sociologist would. That’s at least one person who watches.
My original target audience are people who are interested in sociology. In how cultures dress, pray, believe, navigate the world, etc. I think there are a lot of people who, like me, think that it's a shame to rush to sit in judgement instead of trying to understand without judgement. But my actual audience is more complicated because a. some people come here for Pearl, because they love her. and b. Hasidim watch my stuff because they like to keep me honest 😂
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynI started coming here before Pearl, but was HOOKED after watching your first video with her. She’s just so lovely, lively, spunky, and smart. Love you both! Wanted to add, I’m an atheist who’s parents are lapsed Catholics . In spite of that, I’m very interested in religion in general, and religious practices. Who doesn’t like to know what makes other people tick?
I'm a chasidic women who is interested in Frieda's view because it's always so well rounded. And to support her, of course!
I would love to see a discussion between you and someone raised in a very strict Baptist school, the similarities and differences there. It sounds similar to the rules I hear about at those schools, especially the extremely specific dress code and reactions to modern innovations.
very very interesting Frieda...Thank you
Hi Frieda. Glad to see you looking so well in the face of all that is happening ATM. Yes, I did really enjoy this video. I like learning about the various types of education all over the world. Also, I just enjoy your sweet soothing voice. You have a very calming presence. I’m up for more of this type of content for sure! Stay safe ❤️
Education for girls was controversial in the 1920s and especially for Satmar Hasidim. The Agudah accepted Jewish education for girls because the rabbis saw Jewish girls were not continuing to be Jewish, were assimilating - and because they met the founder of Jewish education for girls, Sarah Schnirer, a Polish woman who was the first to teach Jewish girls. The rabbis saw her religious motivation and her sincerity. And Jewish education for girls was begun.
This was actually fascinating!! Part 2 would be great if you were up for making that!!
Just started watching and the first thing I saw was the use of ‘grade 1’ vs 1st grade. I’m Canadian and that’s how we say our numbered grades for school. I’m curious if it’s a purposeful difference or just chance?
PS - I do enjoy this type of content. Do more please!!
Thank you for this video. I would like a video on the behavior aspects. I'm a high school teacher in a public setting and we deal with a lot of harassment and bullying between students. How does the school regulate interpersonal behavior amongst the students?
Wow very interesting question. Definitely something the school works on a lot; I just have to figure out what I can find to illustrate it. From behavior with adults to behavior among friends, interpersonal matters are a huge deal.
Many factors make these schools very, very different than public schools. From the fact that they’re gender segregated, to the fact that most kids are from similar backgrounds, to the fact that they’re so sheltered from violence. Most problems that plague public high schools are unheard of in chassidic schools.
The majority of problems in normal schools come from the fact that Kids are mixed. I used ti separated my Kids and it solved a lot of problems, even though The Boys were way more complicated tô deal with
Good character traits are valued very highly and constantly spoken about and encouraged
I think this is going to wind me up and appall me.
Love your channel, it’s sensible and I’ve noticed you are great with technology…congrats
Fascinating. Thank you!
Growing up, I remember the religious girls having the most enormous heavy backpacks I've ever seen. They must have had at least a dozen giant textbooks in there. And in addition to the giant backpack they would also have multiple giant binders in their arms. It looked arduous.
Catholic schools also pick specific color socks. And shoes.
It was so interesting to hear that the children are blessings. THAT was not what I experienced nor did I find that when my children were in school. I can see why you would want to break the rules. It is interesting that when the rules are strict, the rule breakers are angels compared with children rebellious with no restrictions. I was wondering what was your process to learn a different way or your way after you left the community, as far as dress, hair, color, shoes. When I first wore pants after growing up with only dresses. It was so strange. Now decades later I seem to want to wear dresses.
So interesting, thank you!
This was interesting, Frieda. I’d be interested in another video on this when you are so inclined. I was surprised at the limits on parties outside of school. Does this extend to extended family birthday parties (if that is something families do) or just parties with friends?
I don't think this rule is enforced, unless you make the party for the child's class from school
Thanks for sharing this video always amazing wishing everyone a wonderful day
Hi Shaindy - hope you're well.
Thanks I'm doing great
There IS a danger regarding use of cameras and videos. These days, anyone can put just about anything on the internet, at which point who knows who could get hold of it for unwholesome purposes. Even many public schools have forms available for parents to prohibit the school from putting their child’s picture online. I don’t allow my photo or those of my children to be online and we don’t use Facebook.
You're absolutely right. I especially find the viral "expose" videos to be horribly odious and it's heartbreaking how those videos ruin lives.
So true. Even seeing people put photos of their kids on their whatsapp status makes me cringe.
Wonderful video! Did i miss the white shirt on rosh chodesh etc? I'd love to hear you go over all of it and in comparison to what the rules were when you went there.
It's not in the rulebook! I don't think they put stuff like that in the rulebook (and anyway, only the boys wear white on Rosh Chodesh maybe? Maybe not?)
Girls in uniform wear white shirts, too. Definitely not in the rulebook. It really depends on a school or even a class if white shirts are worn
So interesting, Frieda. I'd love it if you'd do a video about the intricacies of head coverings for frum women, i.e., tichel vs. sheitel vs. turban, etc. I'm fascinated by all the ins & outs of that subject and really enjoyed the piece about it on your blog.
Basically what I’m hearing is most rules is trying to avoid kids being jealous on the more wealthy kids
There's definitely a part of that. But ironically, the more conservative kids might end up jealous of the kids whose parents are more liberal, let's say if the parents allow ribbed tights after school, white tights on a weekday, etc.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynyes, everyone is jealous of the "fancy" or "modern" girls
This was so interesting. Thank you so much for doing this! I had no idea that Satmar children are not allowed to have birthday parties at home. Also, there is so much effort put into girls not attracting any attention to themselves. Would it be alright to say to a little girl (in the Satmar culture) something like : “You look so pretty!” Or “You look so cute!”? Would this be calling attention to them in a bad way? Thank you again!
Yeah, beautiful if it's in a modest way is ideal
I would definitely say it to my sisters and nieces.
Lovely video! Reif ( the stiff headband ) is just german for hoop or wheel btw :) we also call it Haar-reif here ❤
It's odd, in Yiddish a wheel is a reidel. Maybe it's related?
Reidel also comes from a german word for wheel - Rad :) Rad and Reifen can be used interchangebly. Tho Reifen is more common to refer to circular objects that are not wheels. A Bangle is an "Arm-reifen" or Armreif :) @@FriedaVizelBrooklyn
Hi Freida, always love your work. I use the term "Court" & not "Sect". I will assume that your average Viewer (no disrespect intended) would not know that each of the Chassidic Groups refer to their Leadership or Group as a Court ? Keep these great videos coming Freida
really neat insight, thanks
Amazing video. I would be interested to see a boys one. I’ve heard that they have prohibitions on following sports and in some times playing certain sports in religious Jewish schools in the UK, would be interested to see how it is in your community.
Someone here said the boys rules are one page long. I'd love to get more on it. Maybe someone here will see this comment and message me!
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynmy daughters rule book is 1 page long as well regarding tznius. Chasidic, but not satmar
This is so interesting. I'm a Jewish woman who wasn't raised in an ultra orthodox or Hassidic community, so I'm learning all the intricate rules from this community.
Very interesting. I'm a teacher at a charter middle school out west. We have a dress code at school and the kids of course always push the limits. Kids are the same everywhere, I think. I love your stories on education. I'm interested in how students with learning disabilities are dealt with in the education systems of orthodox Jews. Is there a special education program? Do students have IEPs? How widespread is rule breaking and rebellion against the strict rules and how is that dealt with? Love your videos. ❤❤
We call it raĵf also in Serbia i mean the headband,i think it's taken from German language i think.
Frieda, Very interesting! I am really interested what actually the Satmar community itself thinks of your channel---do you ever get feedback from anyone of this community? Do you get positive feedback from them (because you are never disparaging of them, for example), or are there critics too (because, say, you have left the community, or you are informing the world out there about their very traditional and closed community)?
I’m satmar. I love love Freida’s channel.
To my surprise, people have been SO NICE (although I'm constantly holding my breath and waiting for trouble to start.)
But people are very clear that they can't be associated with me publicly. Not businesses, nor people. There are a few exceptions, but most people are not looking to tempt fate by being openly associated with an ex-hasidic troublemaker like me. So it's an interesting place I'm in.
@@CH-bb3zhsame
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynis there a video telling about your relationship with your family now? Why Pearl has chosen to be on the video and associates with you? Can you talk about "attracting" clothes? It seems like girls would be blamed for boys behavior. Isn't everyone in charge of their own behavior? Thank you! I really enjoy your channel.
@@sandyk13599 At some point Pearl said she likes to help people. I think she has an enormously soft spot for OTD/ex hasidic people because of her son, and also, maybe she hopes to influence me.
The attracting clothing bit definitely leads to an attitude of blaming women for men's behavior.
It is so nice to be in an event and not be filmed or photograph every second. The kasher camera rule is actually nice
I feel guilty agreeing because since I've had a youtube channel I've often been the one with the camera, but I actually love not always having a phone camera shoved in my face.
I loved this!!! Thank you so much!
I attended Catholic schools and we wore uniforms. Firstly, its cheaper and everyone bought from the same company. No competition meant everyone focused more on learning. I think all schools could benefit from the wearing of uniforms.
School uniforms are a good idea in principle, so long as they are sensible and not used for corruption and/or for gate-keeping. In the UK there have been cases where school uniforms _had_ to be bought from one specific, expensive supplier: equivalent cheaper uniforms were not accepted even if they looked identical. In one case a girl was punished with isolation because through systematic inspection of the inside labels it was discovered that her mother had bought an otherwise identical cheaper substitute. This only makes sense if a) someone got a kick-back from the supplier, or b) the purpose is to keep children of low-income parents out. A traditional problem with British school uniforms is moreover, that they prescribe short skirts and insufficient stockings regardless of the season, leading to totally unnecessary infections in winter.
💯 agree.
@@johaquilathat’s 😢
this is so interesting. It seems so organized and in depth. I wish in public school we had things listed out for us with both our scheduals and rules, and supplies.
Fascinating. Please keep up the good work.
How much do people follow the rules for things at home? I can't possibly imagine people are getting approval for every private party held in the home.
It varies and the type of family you come from will determine the extent to which your boundary pushing may be overlooked.
If you come from a well established family who has money and/or status they might scrutinise the books or hair style with less fear than if you were a child of a less established family (or with a sibling who has left the community).
On the other hand you will have some families, who regardless of their status will self-police to even greater levels of restraint.
Yeah, when it comes to parties at home, I would guess the whole bit about needing permission doesn't actually translate into asking for permission.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklynso, when you were growing up, we’re birthdays celebrated? If so, in what manner. 😊
@@catclelland2447 a little bit. Girls would give each other cards, buy each other balloons, little presents. I think it's celebrated much more now based on how much birthday stuff I see in the candyshops (and I see girls buying them).
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn thank you for answering ❤️
Very interesting and thoughtfully presented. Thank you.
Please share the rest of the rules. I went to a private Christian school there are so many similarities. We had to sign a “contract” saying we wouldn’t go to movies and we would dress appropriately even when we were not at school.
Reyf (?) must have entered Yiddish from German. In German we call it a Haarreif to disambiguate, because the word Reif on its own has several meanings. So we add the prefix Haar- to make clear that we mean the hair accessory
Thank you for this. You should give a link to this book or where to acquire one.
Thank you so much from Australia.
You have so much to teach us.
Haar"Reif" is to this day commenly used word in swissgerman for a hard headband that is shaped like a U and usulay made out of a hard material. The word "Reif" in it self is a very very old german word an means: Rope
in German: „Seil, Strick, Streifen, Band, Fessel, Ring, Gebinde, Faß“, althochdeutsch reif „Seil, Strick“ (8. Jahrhundert), „Ring, Kreis“ (um 800), germanisch *raipa
Interesting 👍
Very interesting! I really enjoyed this video. Can’t wait for Part 2. So many rules that seem silly. Might as well have uniforms. Just the part about birthday parties and the rules at school apply at home also. Seems controlling also. Hope you are feeling better Frieda! 😊
This was really interesting. Some of it I was already aware of, but it's interesting to see how rules have shifted over time, even if you look at that documentary PBS did on Chasidic communities back in the '90s and now. Also entertaining to see how much of the Yiddish on the page I actually understood between my (crummy) Yiddish and (slightly less crummy) German. I would be really interested in a part two- also in seeing what kind of rulebooks boys' schools put out, because I assume they differ in some ways.
This was very interesting. I would love to see the part 2.
I appreciated this. i work in a modern orthodox school and it’s an entirely different religion.
Hello Frieda and thanks for all your very interesting videos. I am a Scandinavian woman who comes from a very liberal & secular family, so this is all very interesting to me. For some reason I've developed an interest in orthodox judaism and watched a ton of videos about it from different angles. I've even learned some scarf tying tips from jewish women in youtube and I'm going to use them this summer, because I think the scarves/ turbans/ tichels, whatever you call them, are beautiful 😊.
Anyway, having gone to school in a very liberal environment, I find these rules quite shocking. I've always loved style, clothes and especially colours, I can't imagine not being allowed to wear almost any colours. I think I would get depressed if I had to stop wearing colours. We don't have school uniforms in my country, so that's foreign to me, but in my time (in the 90's) everyone, boys and girls, were wearing jeans & sweaters to school, so we were actually quite modest in our own way 😊.
The dressing code sounds to me like everything that could look beautiful or cheerful is forbidden. I'm not opposed to modesty per se, I see a lot of good in it too, but this is taking it very, very far.
I don't mean to be direspectful and I think there are many beautiful parts in (orthodox) judaism, so much tradition and the sense community for example, I truly miss a community in my life. But this is my impression coming from a very different backround.
You are not disrespectful at all! Many in the community would understand the comment! However... something that people on the outside might not appreciate, but what you experience when you live in the community, that you find tiny ways to express your fashion sense and they become very big and important to you. So a lighter shade of tan, or a little bit of hot pink in a shoe, a designer scarf, all of this can feel extremely personal and expressive of the self. One of my favorite subjects is the tremendous diversity that is expressed through the different clothing. It's more than meets the eye!
Then again, it's still suffocating to some. It was to me, although not because of the clothing. I think it's totally fair to say some people find it unbearable and must leave. Many however thrive. And that's something we can appreciate... No society is perfect or works for everyone.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn thank you for your answer! That's very interesting, expressing your fashion sense & individuality in small details. I can understand that people can also thrive in that community, I really admire the close knit community and helping each other in different circumstaces, that is something very valuable. A sence of safety probably. And a strong trust in a higher power. A strong identity. Must be many good things I don't even know about. Our secular society is also so, so flawed in many ways. Have a great day and thanks again for your amazing work! 💛
@@herecomesthesun21 Yes, I feel the same way. Our society is flawed, so if we come from a place of appreciating that no one is perfect, we don't end up looking at others in black or white terms.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn yes, very good point!
I really enjoyed the video and your insight. I have no religion now but I did attend Catholic schools with old fashioned nuns. We had uniforms and to check length the nun would make you kneel and if the skirt didn’t touch the floor she’d rip the hem down and you had to walk like that all day. It seems the school is more concerned with trendy fashion as opposed to modesty. Making up stuff as you go isn’t conducive to learning anything. But, it’s their rules!
Imagine the burden of a mother with so many children having to conform each kid as they grow to the specific dressing rules, and the length of skirts. It seems like so much work. It’s making me tired just to think about it.
Nah, I think it's easy enough. The stores sell to the rules. The issue for me was always I found all the rules suffocating. Some parents always bend the rules but mine didn't and it made it very hard. :(
Pantyhose alone with drive me crazy I never could even wear them in the 70s. I just have sensitive skin and then it’s like heck. What would a girl do in that situation?
I wonder if they would be alright with thigh high socks instead or even leggings for sensory issues. I also can’t stand the feeling of pantyhose on my skin.
@@kimolivares8532 Probably not. In more modern schools girls wear knee-highs which is why Satmar is so adamant to 'not be like them' kind of thing and only allow tights (pantyhose).
Growing up with these rules, it's second nature. Also, most people bend some rules out of school (black tights on shabbos, socks until 5/6 instead of 3. Red, leather, denim, hoods etc...)
It’s interesting. Thanks for sharing ❤❤
So interesting! Please continue these videos. I know you need visuals, but all that effort you made to scan the book was slightly wasted on me since I speak no Yiddish. I am a graphic designer, so the first bits were interesting graphically, but once you got into the modest dress section, the layout became boring. Luckily, the topic became fascinating. The rules do seem excessively strict and I bet many a student feels the goal is actually to squash any possibility of fun or individual expression. But your comments and explanations are so helpful, and I can believe that the school puts a lot of thought into these rules and sees it as their responsibility to stress the importance of tradition and following religious teachings and to shield young impressionable minds from the dangers of the modern world with its bright red clothing and exposed knees.
I suspect "reif" is probably related to German "Haarreif", which is a horseshoe-shaped hair accessory made of a hard material (metal, plastic) sometimes covered in fabric, used to keep long hair out of the face. I think in English it's called a headband (as opposed to a hairband or "Haarband", which is a soft loop of fabric). It appears to be etymologically related to "rope" and is close to the modern word "Reifen" (car tires).
The Satmar people are so well organised! Enjoy Frieda Friday food. Received my Williamsburg t shirt. It’s great. Good Shabbos. Bill. Uk
Dear Bill, wishing you a wonderful shabbes! I put up a FoodFriday :)