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Dr. Allan Schore on hypo-arousal, hyper-arousal, dissociation and the inability to take in comfort
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ค. 2014
- Dr. Allan Schore talks about hypo-arousal, hyper-arousal, dissociation and the inability to take in comfort.
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Not to mention, comfort is very uncomfortable for me. Relaxing gives me anxiety.
L P “why is nothing bad happening right now... I don’t trust this... “
....I now choose sleep instead of relaxing in a chair. It's a form of escapism.
I have the same in relation to others,..
Train your feet, check your blood circulate to your feet it will help allot believe me.
Wow, this makes sense. I can't take in comfort, don't feel it. And I am sealed, this makes so much sense to me.
Same here. That was so well put. I wasn’t always like this, but a lot that was bottled down came up to a float. I’m struggling now, for sure.
Are you better? Have you gotten any help?
I know this sounds weird, but try specifically mandala coloring. There are studies on it helping people in hypo and hypoaroused states. It may or may not work, but the key is to find solutions, after educating ourselves. There are also youtube videos on this.
'Attacking self'... Thank you, mom and dad for disallowing me to express my emotions. Now I have an incurable autoimmune disease, but sure, you are not to blame. I just had to 'be less nervous' cause it is really that easy, isn't it?
I came across this guy on the internet by accident but damn... wish I could see it myself years back
I think we are on the same boat, any tecniques to break through this earliest pathological dissociation.
Yes it's your parents fault but they didn't start it. They are victims too. The world grinds us all up. We are all walking nervous systems that are needing to connect to the hierarchies around us (for an identity), are stepped on by others trying to get it, and end up stepping on others.
I guess we really do need therapy, those scars aren’t healed yet and we keep poking at them
Sorry to hear you have an autoimmune disease, must make life really difficult. Just wanted to share my opinion that I don't believe any condition a human can face is incurable. If there's a problem, a solution exists. Have you looked into any healing modalities based around emotional processing? One example is Completion Process by Teal Swan. There's a book which explains the process and it aims to resolve trauma wounds which lead to these kinds of diseases in the first place. If you heal the emotional pain which are triggers from past traumas then you resolve the causation and therefore undo what past hurt was done to you. Then physical manifestations such as chronic diseases also heal as a byproduct Hope this helps
So very important Dr Schore
Thank you for your decades of work.
Essential for everyone working with people in mental health worlds.
Sadly much misunderstanding in the psychotherapeutic world. Especially in UK.
Where the most popular therapy is CBT...inadequate for any attachment trauma..
Growing-up in a domestic violent home where my disabled Mum was subjected to punches in front of me by my Father along with the fist fights he had with my older brothers & sister put me on high alert from a very young age. Adrenaline rushes were a daily thing. Not only could I not relax at the age of 6 I became OCD in order to have a tiny piece of control in my life. I could never enjoy a kids tv programme fully I had to have one ear listening out for things potentially about to kick-off.
Not only this but I would anticipate when a fight might take place and step-in in the hope of diverting it. For eg. my dad hated my 17 year old sister at the time (me being 6) and he found a teaspoon that had dropped in the bin by accident and he marched into the sitting room with it demanding to know how it got there - I said it was my fault and no fight took place.
I remember dreading Saturdays as a small child because thats when there had been a fight and the police had been called out but soon there wasn't a day of the week I didn't dread.
I lived like this day in day out. Whether a fight actually took place or not became irrelevant it was knowing it could. My mother and I left in 1983 when I was 12 years old.
I've been wired like this. I don't know true relaxation, and I shall never truly trust anyone apart from my children. So sad that two selfish individuals can expose a child so young to this and screw them up for life - and that's without even touching on the emotional impact.
Arabella Cox Damn, you doing better now?? No child should have to go through that
@@astrodeath1322 thank you for asking. I was diagnosed bipolar in 1992 after my daughter was born although it would be another 6 years before someone told me. That's been a struggle more in terms of identity than anything. I brought up three amazing human beings by myself and have found contentment in the small things in life. There will however be some things that I will never know or experience in this lifetime but the Family I created and laughter are more than enough for me.
I wish more people talked about trauma related OCD... being similar to “just right OCD” (google) is the closest I’ve gotten to anything explaining it ... but mine is definitely fully trauma based. Rigid routines, very specific ways things must be done... and in specific order. Excessive straightening and reorganizing in order to dissociate from apprehension about something I need to face... (just getting things in order first as a form of actual procrastination while appearing productive) I lose hours to it and the task or event that is triggering my stress just grows bigger. Completely aware It’s irrational.
It’s hell. No ability to just keep still and self soothe or take in anything gentle or relaxing. I have chronic calf strain from pacing due to my inability to stop “preparing to do things” until I fall into bed from exhaustion ( thereby ensuring I wont worry or get insomnia)
Arabella Cox, thank you so much for sharing your experience. You made me understand my spouse better. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and can never really trust anybody, me being the one who he trusts the most, but still: not rrrreally.
We’ve had massive problems when he got very sick - anyway, ten years into this and I finally understand why he is never really present, why he needs to always disengage from growing intimacy, why he seems so cold and distant at times.
Poor man is really ill. It’s caused a chronic condition.
@@KarmasAbutch for me OCD followed me into adulthood. Now at the almost tender age of 50 (!!) I am free to a degree. Doing, constantly doing, has been my heroin, allowing me to avoid feeling and pass myself off as a 'normal' human being. It comes down to never feeling truly safe to explore my emotions. I have been my own buffer in life and that of others close to me. In a way it's like a supernatural strength that comes from within but I'd give anything to know what it feels like to be 'carried', to feel truly protected and safe. Even now almost 50 years on I can imagine a loud knock at the door or a brick flying through the window, for absolutely no reason!!
thank you... i'm trying to take in more comfort, and also feel anger and let me cry and space out less. It took so long to realize how scared i was of my own upsetting feelings because i'm not good at calming down. Validating video for me -- thanks again.
Th U for your comment , I feel I am your twin in similar conclusion! 😊
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wow! This uses objective information about reality to explain emotional systems which I, when trying to feel better, can usually only believe are ad hoc.
Men=hyperarousal? I am a “traumatized Empath” and I just learned through study that my every day sensation of antennas going out into my environment and sending “danger/not danger or friend/foe” all the time is likely a sign of hyper vigilance- and a recent disruption in my relationship put me in a massive state of anxiety 24 / 7 - I sleep about every 3 days
I think it was meant to be a bit of an observed generalization... Like the "boys will be boys" presumption about boys engaging in physical conflict more readily than females. But it doesn't exclude females. He's summarizing, and it was a small error in phasing.
I feel like I am a pea in your pod!
Good question. Have to learn more to figure it out, I think. Doesn't make sense to me either, unless he just means that boys are culturised to act out.
My husband and my nephew are being described here.... 😔
Is this what triggers functional neurological disorder
Is there the full video anywhere psychalive.org is not online anymore
This being the case, how are therapists able to access their patient and help them 1. feel resolution of the wound created by early trauma, and, ultimately, 2. heal the attachment deficit?
+lisaengelbrektson create a safe environment and a connection by being very accepting and sympathetic towards client... took a looong time in my case. keep bringing their attention back to the present when they are talking about the trauma and allow them to feel the feelings they were stopped/stopped themselves from feeling at the time..
with great difficulty.. ultimately the patient ( for use of a better word) would need to recognise the problems with in and want to do everything in their power to change the learnt unhealthy coping skills. It can take many years and many therapists and even then it can still be there. It is a daily struggle to believe in yourself and trust others when you have learnt in life to do the exact opposite :(
Bingo. The pain is hidden for a reason and why would you trust anyone to open up to it, not knowing what the fallout will be? I've been in therapy a long time and just cannot. A long struggle but better than pretending it's fine. Hoping that psychedelics will help.
I’m not a therapist but I read a book called The Body Keeps the Score and the author talks about how you dont necessarily need to talk about your trauma to heal. Doing anything that makes you feel safe and or relaxed can bring your nervous system to a safe state where healing takes place. This can include deep breathing, exercise, yoga, listening to music you like, painting, playing with someone, etc.
A lot of therapists don’t know this because the science about this bottom-up approach, where we first heal the body or make the body feel safe and then talk about our mindset or memories, is relatively new. A lot of therapists are still stuck in the talking and changing mindsets approach. But more and more therapists are learning and applying the bottom-up body approach.
@@TreasureHuntingNanaClonidine can Help
ok, so what is the solution.
Speaking just from my own healing journey/experience: what I found was that having faith was a big turning point - knowing that God created me and has positive intentions towards me therefore it mattered less what others did or thought of me. That in combination with a safe faith related community where we could be vulnerable and express emotions without fear of ridicule or dismissal has been incredibly healing. Of course I haven't arrived but I'm in a better place than I was. Healing happens in community, just as wounding happens in relationships.
I also found working on physical health and fitness gave me boldness to be myself.
All the best on your own healing journey 🙏
Try Clonidine
Ok great explanation but PLEASE give me a solution! I am willing to pay a lot of money to sort this stupid unconscious circuit out. The stress is killing me.
Speaking just from my own healing journey/experience: what I found was that having faith was a big turning point - knowing that God created me and has positive intentions towards me therefore it mattered less what others did or thought of me. That in combination with a safe faith related community where we could be vulnerable and express emotions without fear of ridicule or dismissal has been incredibly healing. Of course I haven't arrived but I'm in a better place than I was. Healing happens in community, just as wounding happens in relationships.
I also found working on physical health and fitness gave me boldness to be myself.
All the best on your own healing journey 🙏
How DO we work with that? I'd like to know the answer. Guess I'll have to look into his work😊. Thank you for sharing this
Dr Schore has many teachings on how to work with trauma. Along with Peter Levine and France Ruppert and Dr Van der Kolk
All excellent people who teach how to work with this.
Read listen study
That's how to learn to understand your own inner trauma and that of most others...most people are traumatised...as most of us were never prepared for being sensitive aware conscious parents.
I attack myself but I don't dissociate cause I had a good childhood and the bad stuff came after
Clonidine can Help, also Propranolol